We got Somethin'
by sam1856
Summary: BETHYL. good feels, slow burns, true love and all that good stuff... with walker killings of course, and angsty trauma. Really too long to summerize so please read!
1. INTRO

**A/N Hey guys, this is my first Walking Dead fic, so I hope you all enjoy it and I write the ****characters**** to be at least a little believable to the cannon. Obviously I don't own them, and Copyright belongs to AMC and all that stuff I have written ahead about a dozen chapters, but if you like something/don't like a direction please review and let me know and I can consider seeing if I would continue, or go down a different path. Anyway I hope you enjoy this as much as I have enjoyed writing it.**

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_Twelve months after TERMINUS._

It was the first, but the last, and yet it was the first...if that made any sense at all, like most of his thoughts even Daryl struggled to get his head around that; but all of it at once, led him to this moment...

It was the first scream that he heard from Beth or Maggie, whichever one of them it was, right back at the prison, that had set his blood on fire, sent a searing pain coursing through his veins like someone had literally injected acid into his arms. He'd never felt anything like that, his body was numb with pain. That was the last time he would feel controlled, tethered... at peace in any small way. Yet all of that led to this moment, which was the first, the first time in his entire life that he had ever felt alive, truly alive. He had survived, sure, and even before this, even in the old world he had always breathed and eaten and even laughed, but not until this moment had he ever really lived. He couldn't have, because he had never felt this before, and that utterly confounded him. Because this was his death, he was sure of it. It had slowly been building and building until this point and, yes, he might just be lying down to die and the truth was it was beautiful. He was going to die and he felt pride, something he had never felt, something so unexpected.

Daryl Dixon was going to die with pride and honor and he was actually happy, he was okay with it, he was at peace with it. It's not how he was expecting to go, it sure as hell wasn't fair. He thought he'd go out fighting, not just lying down and dying like this, but he was okay...it was okay, it sat well with him. He never thought he could be okay with going out like this, but somehow he was.

He had done it; gotten her to safety and this…this was so much more than he could want. Yes, he didn't want to die, but if he did...this was okay... because for one moment in his life he had it all, more than he could ever imagine.

He looked up to the blue sky and felt the sun warming his skin and he just enjoyed it, enjoyed the quietness, no living nightmares to worry about, no fears, nothing. The clouds wisped lightly against the blue and he was amazed at the gentleness of it, the beauty of it. He'd stood under that same sky his whole life, but never had he seen its beauty like this and he was mesmerized. Even though everyone was yelling around him, it was silent and he was at peace. For the first time in his life he was free.

He closed his eyes and felt it, the pull of what most certainly was death. It was not as he had imagined; he didn't feel defeated, it wasn't cold and dark, it was warm and embracing and so comfortable. There wasn't pain in this place, it was bright, and he felt himself not falling, but rising... if that were possible. Rising to that awe-inspiring sky, he felt himself rising up and shedding all the fear and pain and loss of his life, until there was nothing left but the whisper of a memory, just her face darting in and out of his vision as if it wasn't really there. Then it was gone and the world was silent.

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**A/N Please review, I love them, and please be patient the first few chappys might be a bit slow.**

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**Story Playlist**

**THIS IS MY PLAY LIST FOR THE STORY, AND THE REASONS WHY I CHOSE THESE SONGS.**

**Just in case anyone in interested, I actually have a playlist for this book, and they're all really great songs, I find having a playlist helps create a flow from the start to finish, so I find a few songs that I feel say what I want the book to sound like. If you're interested, I have an android phone and downloaded them all for free of an app called **_**mp3 music download.**_

_Comfort-Deb Talan _

_My Vampire Heart - Tom McRae_

_Monster-Skillet_

_Worst day since Yesterday-Flogging Molly_

_Kedvesem/Only one for me-ByeAlex_

_Up the Wolves-The Mountain Goats_

_Last pale light in the West-Ben Nichols _

_Be Good-__Waxahatchee_

_Be not so Fearful-A.C Newman_

**ONLY BOTHER READING IF YOU****'****RE INTERESTED, IN HOW I ****INTERPRET**** THE SONGS AND HOW THEY APPLY TO THE STORY.**

Here's my list, an explanation of what I believe the song says and why I chose it for this story.

The first few are songs featured in The Walking Dead.

Be not so Fearful-A.C Newman

This is the song playing when Maggie's group enters Terminus.

I love it because I think it's talking about not worrying about life, that sometimes there are things you'll have to do that maybe you don't think you can, that maybe go against who you are, and you might be afraid that you can't come back from that, but then you can't shy away from it either. And the knowledge that you won't go too far because someone is there to pull you back and remind you who you are when it all gets too heavy.

As I relate it to my story, I kind of think that's who Beth is to Daryl, that grounding influence that stops him tipping over the edge.

Be Good-Waxahatchee

This is the song Beth is singing in the funeral home.

I think I like this one for how it relates to my spin on the fic, because clearly they like each other, but just don't want to do anything because it will get messy and the fear that they'll mess it up and be stuck with someone that you really do love so much, that it would hurt seeing them hurt, so you settle for something that's more than friendship, you settle for an understanding, that is deeper than the sexual attraction. That's the kind of love that you'll never stop searching for.

Last pale light in the West-Ben Nichols 

I can't remember hearing this on the show, but it's on The Walking Dead playlist, which was the first time I've ever heard it.

I really like it because its meaning is simple, and it seems so Daryl to me. It's kind of like being in a dark tunnel and seeing a light: you've got to head for it because it's the only known thing or being alone in a zombie apocalyptic world and knowing Beth is somewhere, you've got to find her because she's the only real thing left.

I like the line _I ask for no redemption in this cold and barren place, still I see the faint reflection, and by it I've got my way._

_A_s it relates to this story, Daryl is so darkened by this world, and I think there's a lazy realization that Beth is too, but somewhere in her is something that he doesn't have without her, hope and belief that he could be a better person.

Up the Wolves-The Mountain Goats

This is the song playing when they burn down the cabin. I take it as representing Romulus and Remus, the two boys, that were abandoned by their mother, raised by wolfs and founded Rome (you know that story) this is probably one of the deepest songs I know, because I can't figure out what it's about, I think it's a lot about abandonment, and a little about not needing revenge, wanting it anyway, but embracing the fact that it's a completely futile endeavor. I think it's also a bit about sticking it to the man, knowing that you're now heading in a direction you don't really want to go, but you just think fuck it, I'm gonna go full steam ahead anyway, because really there are no other options. I think it's also about anger and freedom, about being abused and wanting to hurt someone else just because you're so tragically writhing in inner pain. But then the freedom that comes with just accepting what is, and pretty much bucking to it, but in no way giving in. It's also a bit about just obliteration society, because it never really helped you. Maybe it's about looking for help, knowing you're never going to find it, except maybe with your brother in arms.

Yeah I think that's it, I think it's about being downtrodden and hurt so many times that you finally get to that point, where you go batshit crazy and turn against your own nature and build on that because it's all you got, and then somehow finding acceptance and thriving.

I don't know, this song says a lot to me, I really recommend you down load this, I probably thought way too much about it, but I just connect with it on an emotional level I guess. :D the way it relates to my story... self-explanatory really.

Not from The Walking Dead:

Kedvesem/Only one for me-ByeAlex

Obviously I have a thing about songs where people are raised by wolves LOL, which makes sense for my story with the way OneEye looks after Beth.

I love this song. Personally I prefer the Hungarian version, but it seems to fit how I imagine a tender Daryl feeling. Chorus is_: coz I've got nothing now, just the one for me, the one for me, she's all around, so lovely, so lovely, and I'm so glad I found the one for me, the one for me, I'll sing it loud, she's all I need, all I need, I got nothing, now, just the one for me._

Worst day since Yesterday-Flogging Molly

This is my second favorite song in the world I see it as just being so used to being downtrodden and things not working out, so used to that drowning feeling that you know no matter what you do it isn't enough, so used to being so full of anger that you can't really feel anything else, no matter how terrible. It's that moment that you go, yeah, I'm on my back often enough I should just stay here, just lay down and die because that would be infinitely less pointless than what I'm doing now, only somewhere in you, you can't seem to stop fighting, to stop living, because somewhere in you there is a passion for life that cannot be destroyed, so you stand up, shrug it off, patch up the pain with whatever you need to do, flick the off switch on your feelings, and force yourself to live another day, because why the hell not, you've got nothing better to do. It's also a bit of a somber bar brawlish song in my opinion.

Monster-Skillet

This is definitely my Daryl song. Of the list, it comes on and I think yeah he's about to start pushing someone away right about now.I like the opening verse, _The secret side of me I never let you see, I keep it caged but I can't control it, so stay away from me the beast is ugly, I feel a rage and I just can't hold it._ I kind of think that's why Daryl pushes people away, because deep down he knows what he is, which is brutal and cruel and unforgiving, it's not who he is, but it's in him, and it probably always will be because of his past, so it's easier to push people away than to hurt them and have the shame of apologizing, or worse yet, having someone love you despite you're inner nature. So you lash out and really make things worse for yourself because that feels less foreign that happiness.

My Vampire Heart - Tom McRae

I think this is about just being in love but knowing you're not good enough for that love, not fighting it, but accepting that you can't have it because you know you're going to hurt that person. I think it's tenderness beneath the animalistic wickedness in your soul. The metaphor of your heart being vampiric, dead without that person, unable to beat with your blood alone, and yet the knowledge that deep down, you'll never find what you're looking for because you died a long time ago.

As it applies to my story, this is how Daryl feels about Beth when he finally realizes what she means to him, he knows he loves, her knows he's absolutely going to do anything to keep her alive and happy, knows there's not a universe that he could live without her in, but is convinced that giving himself to her would be fatal to her soul, and that's not something he's ever truly willing to sacrifice.

Comfort-Deb Talan 

This will be later known as Beth's Lullaby

I think this is unconditional love, the just caring for someone in a way that doesn't have to be raging passion and emotion, but it does turn you around and disorient you like a raging torrent under calm water. It's the knowledge that no matter how far apart you are you will always be together. I think it's also about heartbreak and loneliness and despair and when you just have nothing, you have this, you have someone who loves you and is willing to share that with you.


	2. Something in her grasp

**A/N this is set directly after the season four finale, assuming that Rick got the group out of TERMINUS, and they are making their way to D.C. Daryl, lone wolf that he is****,**** refused to travel up to D.C in a sardine can with the rest of them, he planned to look for 'others' from their group before meeting them at the White House sometime during spring. This chapter begins at the moment he has seen/found Beth, sorry I've tried not to make it too gooey, because it didn't seem right when I wrote it... but I'll make up for that later.**

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_Ten months earlier_

His heart felt swollen and there was a real pain in it, ripping him apart. It felt like someone had reached in and pulled his heart right through the walls of his chest while it was still beating and there were buzzing tendrils of pain shooting from it. He looked to the ground, sure that he would see light where the dark shadow of his torso should be, sure that there would be a gaping hole in his chest, but there wasn't, there was just his shadow and hers, of course. He managed to lift his face, confused, as she launched herself into his arms; she had an annoying habit of just having to be right in your space and that frustrated him even more. He was in so much pain and she was so obnoxious as to just throw herself into him without thought, sure he was glad to see her. He would have liked it better if he could'velooked at her from a few steps away, but she clung to him despite his obvious grunt of disapproval. He pulled his hand from between them;he had been feeling for the hole that he could not see, feeling for a bullet or an arrow or a rock or something that could have caused his heart to feel as it did. It wasn't the first time he had felt the pain, the first time was when he was chasing that car that took Beth; it had leveled him that time. He'd collapsed from the pain then, as he possibly would now if she wasn't holding him up; yes, this was the second time and it was so much worse than the first, he worried that it might be something, but he didn't have time to think about that now.

He felt his arm, without his permission he might add, resting around her waist and when it did so, he felt the pain subside, which was a relief, it wasn't his time yet. He felt...silent, which was new also, because he had never felt like that with a person before. He'd felt it when he was alone in the woods, or watching the sunset, or drunk off his ass watching the stars, but never in the presence of another human…never. He was always awkward, worried he might put a foot out of line and be beaten for it, but not now. Now he felt silent and he liked it and he wanted more of it, but then it left, because there she was in his arms sobbing like a two-year-old who'd just dropped their candy on the ground and the silence was gone, replaced with this agonizing sound.

"Quit yer sookin', would ya?" He grunted as he patted her back in a pathetic attempt to comfort her.

"I'm not sookin'." She smiled into his chest. "I'm happy to see you!" The way her eyes smiled up at him softened him a little.

"Yer well…?" he was going to make some smart ass comment, but couldn't think of one because, after all, he was happy to see her too. He just wasn't being so dramatic about the whole thing, but yeah he was happy and a little uncomfortable because she wasn't letting go and this was, say, the second time he could remember being hugged in his whole life. Really hugged, not the drunk-chick-at-the-bar-hanging-off-him kind of hug and not the sort where someone had collapsed in his arms because they were heartbroken or exhausted, but just a genuine hug, because someone wanted to be that close and that surrounded by him. In fact, apart from the odd reassuring hand on his arm from Carol, or a pat on the back from Rick and that time Beth hugged him a few weeks,_ or __months back, it was easy to lose track of time now days, so however long ago it was__, _but then he had to remind himself that pity didn't really count either. So this was probably the first affection ever shown to him, by a human on any level, other than Merle punching him, because somehow that's affection too, but this...it was so alien that he just preferred to stand rather stiff to it, than to respond, although his arm was still around her, patting her back slightly. He put a stop to that and let it fall back to his side.

"'Nuff o' that now." He grumbled and she let go and pulled back and that's when he really got a good look at her, at her face, so full of life and all he could see was color. There was some blood there and, actually she looked kind of pale and a bit bruised, but he kept thinking of rainbows and all sorts of bright colors. Colors that didn't have names, but all belonged to her; dancing around her, worshiping her, bending to her will and throwing her up in one bright splash of color. He shook his head; he must be dehydrated, which kind of felt like being drunk but, you know, less merry and that pain was kicking back in and slight as it might be, was irritating him.

"C'mon, 's get'n dark." He said as he turned to walk away, expecting her to follow him.

She stood grounded and crossed her arms in annoyance. "Hey, Beth!" She called.

He turned with a look of confusion, so she continued, "Glad to see ya. Where you been? How are you? Why'd you leave me? Why you got blood everywhere?" She prompted as she slicked some blood off her arm in utter disdain, not just for the rotting blood but for the semi-cold Daryl.

She was confusing when she was like this; it wasn't the first time she had spoken to him this way. She had done it in the past, back in the prison when he she claimed that he had completely ignored her in favor of Judith. Still, it seemed so unnecessary; he thought they knew each other better than that now, that he didn't have to feign these pleasantries. Daryl shrugged, "Don' matter where you been, Beth, you're standing here now, n' ya stink like a damn walker," He pointed to the blood, "And, right now, it's dusk and we need shelter, so move it!" He demanded as he turned to walk away, annoyed that she had wasted even a few precious moments of light.

He was so different to how she'd left him, or been taken from him; that Daryl's walls were crumbling, this Daryl was the hard Daryl that she had first met. It made her angry to think he could revert back to this after everything; after the prison, their family...the time they'd spent alone together after the prison. She would've been angry if she hadn't realized that something pretty heavy must've been weighing on his mind for him to treat her so coldly. Normally she would've been put out, confused, but this was Daryl and she guessed that she wasn't found by accident. He'd surely looked for her this whole time and that said a great deal more than he ever would, so she ignored his attitude and rushed to his side. He flinched as he felt her hand grab onto his; she did it to comfort him, from whatever this awful thing was that was weighing on him.

He was confused by it, it wasn't the first time she'd done it, but at least last time it was because she needed comfort. This time, though, he was clueless as to why it felt acceptable to her; sure, they had been through a bit together now and although they'd grown closer, they weren't like this.

Maybe for some stupid girly reason she needed comfort again. He was irritated about that too, the girly emotions, but couldn't be bothered with pulling away. He just gave her his steely, unimpressed glare instead, but she smiled, and held on anyway.

"Thought I'd never see you again." She admitted.

"Well, I'm 'ere ain't I?"He grumbled the obvious.

"Yep." She smiled again before turning her head over her shoulder. "Hurry, boy!" She called.

He looked at her questioningly and yet unimpressed. "My dog." She explained.

"U-huh." He grunted, catching site of the one-eyed white mutt.

"He found me too!" She explained and, at those words, he felt his fingers prickle and respond by wrapping themselves around hers. He thought it was stupid, but, whatever, he let it happen. Maybe it was because he was assuring her that yes he had found her, maybe he was assuring himself that she had been found, or perhaps it was simply because he realized after these weeks without her, he liked having her this close. It didn't matter why he let it happen, it mattered that it did and that meant something, he knew that, he just didn't know what it meant...but it was something.

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**A/N don't forget to review and Fave if you're enjoying. :D**


	3. She's sumfin'

He was always quiet, he preferred it; it wasn't that he didn't have thoughts, just he preferred the sanctuary of his own mind. No one really wanted to hear the things in his mind anyway but, yes, he thought a lot, he played games in his mind, looked for patterns in things, that sort of stuff. He had to, ever since he was a kid, it was the only way he could ever really feel sane; when the world had gone to shit, even before this, he just stuck with his mind and managed to stay sane. Well, semi-sane, but then there were times like this that he couldn't stop thinking, thinking that he had been a massive failure, from the first, sometimes he wished he could just stop it, just silence it.

It replayed in his head over and over again. He kept wondering why he did it, why he trusted Rick, he'd never trusted anyone really before, not like that; why didn't he let Carl pop of the Governor while he had a clear shot? The kid said he could, Daryl knew he could, he's the one who taught took him out and taught him how to shoot after all. Sure, Shane had taught him the basics, but it was Daryl that had taught Carl about the sniper stuff, the silence and deadly accuracy needed; but no, he had to sit tight like the well-trained little lap dog he'd become and wait for orders, like some pussy dweeb instead of doing what needed to be done…and what happened? Hershel died. Why? Because he was a pussy, a sissy school girl and not just Hershel. If it was one person, even Hershel, he'd cope, but it was everyone else, everyone else that relied on him and he couldn't help them. He couldn't help Judith, or Carol, or any of the kids, just like he couldn't help Sophia, he was just a nothing, no-good piece of crap and he really felt every bit of that, 'course these people...this family of his were far too good to lay blame on him even if deep down they felt it...that made it worse.

Why'd he do it? Why'd he take the back seat and expect someone else to sort it out? He supposed he didn't think Rick could let it get to that; he reckoned Rick could talk the Governor down, you know, words instead of bullets. Hershel was more than an old man, he had become...well, nothing like a father, not his father anyway, but a mentor, someone to guide him, a reminder that there was still some understanding left in this chaos. He was a protector of morals and principles, or something. He was Daryl's humanity…all their humanity, their balance of good, their reminder of what it means to be alive.

Yeah, it was shock and disbelief he felt when it happened, and then he heard those girls scream and it turned to anger and he pumped everyone of those bullets like he was hand throwing each one of them with each piece of pain that ripped through his chest. Each one he'd let fly through the air was in honor of a memory, of a lesson taught by that old man; he remembered each bullet and aimed them well, just as he remembered each word of advice from that stupid, idealistic old man.

Then what? He ran like a yellow bellied coward;he should've gone to the bus, helped the others, helped the kids, but he panicked and ran. He'd told himself, told Beth, they couldn't do it, that it couldn't be done;what did he expect the kids, the baby, to get there on their own? Plus,he'd shot a man who'd surrendered; he'd never shot someone who wasn't trying to kill him before. He told himself that he shot him because he attacked, because he helped kill Hershel and god knows who else, because as soon as he lowered his crossbow the man would shoot him; but he could've shot him in the head, but he didn't, he didn't because deep down he wanted the guy to suffer, to come back and slowly die. Maybe at the end of the day he's just as inhumane. He was sure he was going to lose himself after that.

When they were away and he had a moment to think he realized he was losing himself, withdrawing into the deepest recesses of his mind and then Beth got up threw her temper tantrum. It was just enough to motivate him, to remind him that he was surviving, not just for himself, but for them, to help them and what was he if he just sat there? He couldn't redeem himself for not taking action earlier, but he could act now. She reminded him of that. She gave him back his humanity.

He looked down to the little book he was reading, which had inspired his thoughts; it was the most beautiful book he'd ever read and he'd actually read a lot. He knew he really should not have read this one; he knew that, but what was he supposed to do those long nights when he sat there in the dark, alone? Searching for her, knowing she was out there somewhere, when he was unable to sleep, because of the groans of walkers far off, because of his mind or whatever noise put him on edge. After he came back looking for her, he'd tracked a few days and found it in the car, some guy in the driver's seat; he'd turned, of course, so Daryl put him down then searched. So one night when he reached into his pocket and flipped it open, he told himself that she might have written in it, that it might have a clue. 'Course he knew she wouldn't have had time but, whatever, and from then on he read it. It had a lot in it, some things that were bad, mostly bad, but it had nice stuff too, stuff that made him smile; he'd even found himself chuckling once or twice. It had bought a tear to his eye, had him feeling things like regret and pain and happiness and even whatever the opposite of regret is. It was his favorite book and he'd read it cover to cover, aside from the last few pages after the words _Home-It's Gone_. He couldn't bear to read after that, those times where it was just the two of them, that would've been too much of an invasion, the rest of it though he'd read at least four times now. He folded it closed and smoothed out the tattered cover and placed it back in the inner pocket of his vest, over his heart.

He turned around and was surprised to meet her eyes. She smiled and sat up looking intently at him and he wondered if she was doing it now, reading him, knowing his thoughts as if he were screaming them at her.

"Hmm?" he asked, it was his way of saying, _Good morning, hope you slept well, I caught a rabbit for breakfast, did some reading and am wondering if you can figure out what I'm thinking__. A__lso thinking we should take the morning __off__ because I'm tired, was hoping you could keep watch while I get a couple of hours__'__ nap._

She yawned and sat a little straighter "Thanks for letting me sleep in" she smiled as she eyed their breakfast. "Want me to cook that?" she nudged her dog over a little and made way for the fire with a slight hum.

"What's got you so happy?" He asked.

She shrugged. "Fire."

"Fire?"

"Remember?" She grinned.

His lips twitched. "That dump we torched?" He answered.

"Yeah, when we accepted ourselves."She added. "You know, who we are now."

He didn't answer, just looked at her intently, wondering how she did it, how she explained things in simple ways that he understood; with that single statement, all that happened at Terminus had faded away. After that, he'd fallen back into believing there were no more good people left, but now looking at Beth, sweet innocent Beth, he was sure of it; there was at least one good person left and he was looking at her...and that was enough, enough to soften him to her a little, enough for him to do the small talk thing, enough to want to do more than keep her alive.

"Anyway, Mister Dixon... how'd you come by me?"

He shrugged.

"I mean you told me about the others; Maggie, Glenn, Michonne, Rick, Sasha, Bob...those others. Why are you out here by yourself? Why didn't you presume me dead and go to D.C.?"

"You forgot Carl." He added.

She sent him the best of her stern looks.

He looked to the floor knowing that she'd bug him until he came up with something a little more. "Lookin' for others, you know, any more of our group that could've survived...needed time." Which was true, he was out looking for anyone, but when he came down to it, he chose her. He'd come across some tracks, they'd been in the same place, different time. It looked like Tyreese, his tracks were easy to identify; he wore those ripple-soled shoes and his left foot was always a little heavier. They _w_ere followed by a smaller set, a woman's and she carried something heavy on her back, maybe a bag, not that anyone had time to pack. He'd scarcely allowed himself to believe until he saw a diaper in a bush, that it was Carol and Judith. He wasn't sure if that made sense because Rick left her behind, but then again if anyone was persistent it was Carol, she'd probably followed him back. Anyway he could've went after them, but then he saw her's, Beth's, smaller, lighter and with the limp that she'd had after that bear clamp on her ankle. He chose to follow hers; he told himself that it was because Beth was alone and Carol and Judith had Tyreese, but that wasn't it. He needed to find her, he didn't know why, he just did, so it was the truth, a little stretched, but it was the truth.

"Thought you said no one else did, and if they did we'd never seen them again...you found them... you found me... you came...for me." She answered as if it had just dawned on her. Yes, he found them, the other survivors, and then he came back for her; that thought made Beth's stomach turn to goo. Before, he was stuck with her, bound by his honour, but now he came, no one else did, just him.

"Yeah, well I found them, 'n you didn'…I... maybe Asskicker might turn up. Think I found tracks, there's still others we haven' found. Carol taught those kids alright, maybe they're off, out there somewhere."

She smiled, as she pulled the rabbit of the fire and cut it into three pieces. She threw one to the dog and crossed to sit next to Daryl and gave him a piece.

He took it with a grumpy look. "Now we're feedin' that damn stray?"

"He's not a stray... he's mine."

Daryl looked to the shaggy dog, examining its unkempt appearance, "Doesn't look like he belongs to anyone." The dog picked up its piece of rabbit and took it a few meters further facing his back to them. "Don't act like it neither."

Beth didn't react, just kept going about her actions as she answered. "Just because he doesn't, doesn't mean he doesn't."

Daryl shrugged as his mind tried to keep up with that one, but he got it eventually. "How'd you teach it to come? Kept runnin' of from me." Daryl remembered opening the door no less than eight times for the dog that refused to come in.

She shrugged. "Maybe I'm friendlier."

He stared at her a long while before shrugging. "Maybe."

She bit a piece of meat, and her hair fell over her face. Daryl held his rabbit in his mouth as he pulled it back and tucked it back into her pony tail. It's not that he's usually thoughtful like that, but he'd learned that she appreciated that sort of stuff. Beth looked at him with a coy smile which had him snapping his hand back to his side with a steely gaze.

"So, what happened there? Didn' drive of 'n leave me, did ya?" He asked.

"'Course not, silly. There were a couple guys, they grabbed me, it um, took me a while, but I got away. He helped." She nodded to the dog, who was happily chewing on his rabbit head.

"What,Ole' OneEye there?" Daryl asked.

"Yep, he's quite the little walker slayer, too" She smiled.

"Really?"

"Yep, he might not be pretty, but he's smart and I like him anyway. He's taken down at least ten walkers by himself for me in the past month; he's pretty lethal." She smiled.

Daryl just looked at her, like she was an idiot or something; she shrugged it off. "Yeah I like that, he just bites right through the skulls, makes me feel safe, he knows what he's doing, but I know he'd never hurt me. He's pretty skittish too, but I think he likes me." Daryl didn't respond and occasionally his silence was unnerving so she continued with a slight fondness for her new found friend. "Not the sort of dog I thought I'd want, you know. I always imagined I'd want something fluffy and cute and he's not pretty like that at all, but I like him. You know I don't really know his story, but we get each other...ya' know?" She explained absent mindedly. She knew she was rambling, but she was hoping if she did, she might get _him _back again; that chatty Daryl she knew for just that short time. It was like he had lapsed back to how he had been before, before the prison, just quiet and... sad. She let her eyes drift to his and they were intense, staring straight back at her as if he was looking at her soul and she felt a slight blush as she looked back to her boots.

"Still talkin' bout the dog?" Daryl asked directly, thinking that he might just understand exactly what she might have been saying. Even if he didn't, those few days at the grave yard had given him a glimpse into her, the real her, the woman she had become, and in those few days their friendship had become so strong, so essential to them that he thought maybe, just maybe she felt that too.

Beth shook her head innocently. "What do you mean?"

"Hmm." Daryl grunted as he bit into his rabbit again.

"Hmm." Beth mocked.

"So not gonna tell me what happened, then?" He asked.

She shook her head.

"Well, that ain' fair...don' shake your pretty lil' head at me." He scolded. "You always gotta make me say stuff when I don' wanna."

She tucked her fringe behind her ear. "You think I'm pretty? How kind!" She pulled her best smile and held back a stupid laugh, and it seemed that was enough to get a little more of him back.

He smiled at her girlish jokes, in some ways she was still so young and untarnished by it all; and it was so strange to him, someone teasing him, no one did that anymore. They survived and they slept and woke up and survived; they didn't joke and play and really talk, but Beth did, she was if nothing determined to be happy. And pretty… that was a damn joke in itself; she was so much more, god damn it she was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. Any red-blooded man could see that and not just on the outside; he knew that he shouldn't think like that, but he'd be blind if it didn't at least cross his mind. It wasn't that, it was just that he shouldn't get that close to someone; she was right, she'd be gone one day and he was gonna miss her so bad. Hell, he did in the weeks they'd been separated; in their time together, he'd felt a friendship that he hadn't really had with someone before and even though he knew it was dangerous, especially in this world to have that, he wanted more of it...

His thoughts had defiantly taken a serious turn and that was heavy, so he shouldered her off the log they sat on playfully. She looked a little shocked, but she had the brightest smile and that made him happy. He stood and offered his hand to help her up. Anyone else would've pushed, demanded to know her story, but Daryl just got it, he knew what it meant to just want to leave it be. "We should get moving." He suggested.

She shook her head and sat back on the log. "Maybe we should rest a little longer, you look tired and it won't matter if we're another half a day, D.C. isn't going anywhere."

He let a small smile play on his lips and flopped across the length of the log.

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**A/N ok so those little moments are beginning, but don't get too excited, I plan on dragging this out and confusing the hell out of you all Daryl Dixon style :D please leave your comments, they inspire me.**


	4. Something in his hand

**A/N hey guys thanks for all the follows and faves (scowls at the lack of reviews) Sorry I'm taking it a bit slow but its writing itself really, there are some fun chapters coming up though.**

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She leaned back a little and let the sun warm her skin. Daryl was still spread on the log attempting to rest. She heard him hitch his breath a few times and after the third or fourth time, she opened her eyes and looked down and saw him rolling his head from side to side, a slight crinkle in his brow as he did so.

"Hurt?" She asked quietly.

"M-m... I'm fine." He answered lazily.

She put her hand on his forehead and wobbled his head from side to side and smiled when he slapped her hand away.

He squinted up at her avoiding the sun, and sighed. "Jus,' y'know, carryin' the bow, pulls at my shoulder is all, ain' nothing to worry 'bout."

She smiled. "Oh, if that's all…" She answered and returned to sunning herself.

Daryl closed his eyes again and slowly felt the pull of sleep, he kept thinking he was falling, which jerked his body randomly; kept thinking that if he went to sleep when he woke up he'd be alone again, he'd lose her, but in reality he couldn't stay awake the entire journey. He relaxed in the warm sun, felt the breeze on his face, his neck pinched again, and he flicked his head in annoyance.

It was impossible to rest when she saw him like that, trying so desperately to sleep and yet so fitful; his legs kept jerking, but that wasn't really what bothered her, she'd seen him sleeping enough times on the road to know he always slept like that, but it was the flicking of his head that worried her. She looked at his neck where it joined to his shoulder and could actually see the difference in the muscle, one side much thicker, it looked a little more than painful, so after a few minutes she decided to just deal with it. She reached down and placed her fingers gently on the muscle and rolled it around, gently soothing it down. She smiled softly when his eyes shot open at the feel of her fingers on his neck.

"I don't know a lot about massaging, but your neck isn't meant to be this tight?" She said it as a half question.

He wanted to pull away, tell her that this wasn't okay, that while they'd shared a few moments such as these after the prison, he couldn't let it happen, couldn't fall back into that, because in the weeks apart he'd actually started thinking with his brain and realized how truly wrong this would be. Not to mention Maggie would give him an ass whooping, which wouldn't really scare him off if he didn't know himself how wrong this would be; but he couldn't because her hands felt so unbelievably good on his neck, he couldn't even protest in the smallest.

"Hey watch it, you're hurtin' me!" He grumbled as she pressed on a knot in his neck, but he allowed her to continue. Didn't make it easy for her, didn't sit up or anything, just stayed there while she rubbed small circles into the muscle, convincing it to relax. He was even a little grateful; of course he'd never let anyone else do it, but this was Beth and she was kind of like Hershel, persistent, and once she'd made her mind up to do something, no matter what it was it would soften and buckle due to her sheer will, just like everything had to her father before her. Also, if she is anything like her dad, she's good on discretion; no one else will have to know that Daryl Dixon was pussy enough to get a massage like some rich bitch at a day spa.

"I fell off Nelly...my horse once, and twisted the muscle in my leg right around, I had to go to the masseuse for a few sessions, it hurt heaps, but it always gets better...Daddy got to calling her Nervous Nelly after that. You know her, she threw you too."

Daryl wanted to smile at the small confession, Beth did that sometimes, just dropped hints of her past and while sometimes it was annoying because Daryl knew the past was irrelevant, sometimes he thought it was sweet that she could hold onto those small things. "Did your masseuse talk alot?"

"Nope, but he had these lovely oils that smelled like lavender, and music that sounded like the ocean, and candles, it was so relaxing…." She continued as she massaged the tightness out of his neck.

"Beth?" He opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"Yes?"

"...Shut up, wontcha?"

She squished her fingers into the tight part of his neck.

"Owww!" He shot up. "That hurts!" He rubbed it himself.

She smirked. "Good, now you're up I can get to it properly, take your shirt off can you?" It was a simple request and he knew there was nothing in it, but still made him flinch inwardly so he just ignored her. He was like that though, she couldn't see it being an issue; he had seen the majority of her body when he helped her into her pants when she'd hurt her ankle. She'd just done cleaning up and managed to get one leg in, before falling off the stool with a yelp which brought him running in. There was a moment of embarrassment but it quickly faded when he saw the look of frustration as she tried to pull her pants up without twisting her leg; neither one of them had thought anything of it. This shouldn't be an issue, he was just being Daryl, right? He was a guy, it's not like she was asking a lot, and he was so often just still and silent, so she reached around him and undid a few buttons, not all of them, just three or four, just enough to loosen it, seeing as he clearly wasn't planning on moving.

He couldn't figure out why his voice wouldn't work, why he couldn't say stop, he just couldn't; maybe because he liked it, wanted it, not that it was her, but since the turn there hadn't been alotof time for this sort of stuff and it was just nice. He knew what she was doing the moment he felt her hands run past his shoulders, yet he was unable to move, even as she fiddled with the buttons, her knuckles scraping his bare skin, her breath on his neck, her chest pressed to his shoulder making him feel both uncomfortable at the intimate act of being undressed by someone else's hands and slightly aroused, mostly it just felt so damn good to have someone tend to him with such gentleness. She pulled at the collar a little so she could get her fingers down his back and really work the muscle, and then suddenly he worked again, his muscles and his voice. He abruptly stood and lifted his arm ready to swing it at her. "Don't touch my back!" He realized it was a little too sharp and immediately dropped his arm, wondering how it had even acted on its own; he swallowed hard before lowering his voice a little, he didn't mean to do it, it was just a reaction, but not the sort of reaction he needed to have toward her; god, he was such a dick. "C'mon we best get movin'." He stated a little quieter as he swung his crossbow over his back and started buttoning those buttons.

She looked at him, confused. "Move it, c'mon!" He hustled her.

"Jerk." She muttered under her breath while she got her pack on. She would've felt bad for saying it loud enough for him to hear, but she didn't because she knew he'd heard her say it to him before and he hadn't cared. It wasn't enough that she said it, she wanted him to know she was hurt by his abrupt behavior. "Why do you have to be such an ass? I was only trying to be nice."

He glared at her and started walking; she whistled at the dog and followed him. Obviously he was back to being that old Daryl Dixon.

He led for a while without saying anything, but after a mile or two he remembered that book he'd been reading, that diary. He remembered how angry she was, how hurt she was every time he had yelled at her, or anyone for that matter. Probably 30% of the diary was made up of him yelling at someone, or giving someone the silent treatment, or just being a screw-up in general; she was such a girl, getting all emotional and stuff at every turn. Of course, he wasn't the feature in her diary, but most of the mentions of him were to deal with her being hurt that he was mean in some way or another, so he decided to fix it, or try to; that's what she'd want, right? "Dog got a name?"

"Yep." It was a clipped and short reply.

He waited for more, but there wasn't any so he pushed. "What is it?"

She ignored him.

"Ya know I had a dog once...called it Oliver, Ollie for short." He smiled a little, "Loved that damn dog... 'til Dad shot it." She snapped her head to him, but remained silent. He realized he wasn't good at the _before the turn_ stories like she was. He grunted at that thought and continued sourly, shrugging."Barked at squirrels all the time."

They walked another half hour in relative silence and took out a few straggling walkers, but avoided any herds. He realized she wasn't going to forgive him so quickly this time; he thought he should explain maybe that'd help. "Just don't like people touching my back, ya know?"

"Could've just said." She answered him.

"Just did." He dared to look at her, hoping she would understand the meaning behind his words; that although 'sorry' had been beaten out of his vocabulary, that's exactly what he meant to say.

She rolled her eyes and soldiered ahead, fully understanding that that was the closest to an apology that she'd ever get from Daryl. She knocked him as she passed him, thrown a little off balance herself when he somehow grabbed her hand and linked his fingers through. She stopped dead in her tracks and he tugged her along. "What you waitin' for?" He asked, not really expecting her to answer. He didn't know why he did it, maybe he wanted to be nice, maybe he wanted just to affirm that she indeed was alive and within reach, maybe he wanted to shock her; he didn't know, he just knew that she didn't let go and that probably meant something more than it should.

She made some sort of noise, like she was going to say something, but it just came out as some sort of disgruntled groan. A few moments later she tried again, but let her voice fizzle out again; she was taken aback by his, whatever you'd call it, affection. Usually she initiated stuff; she was like that, always liked to show people her feelings, hugged people when she was happy, or sad, or had any real emotion. She liked to touch people and, in the case of Daryl, he just made her feel safe, like nothing could get her when she was holding his hand. Usually though, whenever she did it, or sporadically patted him on the back or hugged him, or even smiled at him, he always acted uncomfortable, or displeased. The only person he wasn't like that with was Judith. Sometimes he'd let Carol, but even then he looked mildly annoyed at her. She didn't care, she did it anyway because she figured he needed a bit of human contact, so he could stay... human. After the _burning_, something had changed; they had gotten some sort of comraderie where a guiding touch or a nudge, or standing a little closer was somehow acceptable; but this, him initiating this sort of contact, with anyone, well that was just so foreign that it actually had her speechless which didn't really happen... ever, and she so wanted to talk. She hoped he didn't really hear those stupid noises that came from her throat involuntarily as she tried to find words, she knew they would've sounded stupid, as if he didn't already think her a fool.

"You got bit or something back there?" He asked.

She looked at him and shook her head, unsure if he was serious; they'd only seen three walkers that morning and Daryl had taken them out with ease, he knew she hadn't been near them.

"Well then, shut up... you sound like a damn walker." He grumbled.

She shook her head and squeezed his hand with the smallest hint of a smile, even though she was determined to remain annoyed with him she knew it was pointless, but she let out a huff and let him lead her wherever they were going. He might be a jerk, but she'd still follow him to the ends of the earth; he was still Daryl and he still made her feel safe.

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**A/N There you go mean Daryl is softening a little bit. :D**


	5. Sound like a walker or sumfin'

**A/N ok so they're still travelling, I don't know how I managed to turn one days walk into three chapters lol, I dunno just thought this was important to set it up right, but next chapter they will arrive at their romantic little cabin in the woods.**

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"Can we take a break?" She asked.

"Nope."

"Then how much further?"

"Ya don' wanna see your sister?" His grouchy voice softened a little as if he were trying to convince her.

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm just so tired." She complained; as she said it she realized how lazy that seemed, but too bad. Daryl was unaware that she didn't sleep last night, that she'd been on the run from walkers and now she was just so beat.

"Yeah, well there's a cabin, 'bout forty minutes from here."

"I gotta take a break. I just can't; I mean, I'm about to drop. What if we run into walkers? I'll be dinner!" She whined.

"God damn it, girl!" He cursed as he adjusted his crossbow on his chest. "Get on."

"No." He frowned and waved a bit to motion her on; it couldn't have been that shocking of a gesture, he'd carried her around for a week before. "I said no, I'm not going to wear you out too." She answered.

"Fine." He grumbled, swinging his crossbow back onto his back and swooping her up in his arms.

"Daryl, put me down!" She demanded, kicking her legs slightly.

"Now you can either sit there, or struggle; either way, I'm gonna carry ya, best make it easy for me." He grunted.

She decided to give in because her legs really were that burning and he seemed like he could just go and go today. She was amazed how he could do that, just never wear out; when she thought about it, she'd never heard him ask to slow down or for a break. She supposed the prison was easier, there were schedules and everyone, even Daryl, got time to themselves; but even on the road before that, even when he'd taken watch all night, he'd be able to drive all day, skip a meal, take out some walkers and still take watch that day. It was amazing, he was amazing like that. "What ya doin'?" he asked, after noticing she hadn't taken her eyes of him for at least a minute.

"Just looking." She answered. In truth she was in a bit of a state of disbelief, he was being so uncharacteristically kind, in a grumpy Daryl kind of way, but kind for him. She understood it, at the funeral home, she got that he was afraid of being alone, but now he'd found the group, he wasn't afraid. She wasn't the last person standing on this earth; he didn't have to be nice, he could treat her like the little annoying kid she had pretty much always been to him.

"At what?" He grumbled.

"At you."

"Seen me b'fore ain't ya?" He said, feeling uncomfortable at the new-found attention as he shifted her a little in his arms. She shrugged, but kept staring at his face. "Best stop, not a good sight to burn into ya brain."

"What's not?" The question was genuine.

"Me." He puffed simply.

Beth grinned, not because she thought it was funny, but because she was curious. He was right, he didn't have the handsomest face, but there was something about him, something that made whether he looked good or not, whether his clothes were neat or not, whether his demeanor was anywhere in the same ball park as pleasant or not, just melt away, and she wondered if anyone had told him that. He seemed to be so down and out on himself sometimes. "You're perfectly fine." She answered honestly.

He replied by dropping her legs and making her walk again.

"It's getting dark and I'm tired." Truth was, her ankle still twinged every now and then and she was beat from the day before. Her and her four legged companion, who actually needed a new name, because now that the human Daryl was back she couldn't tell him she named the dog _Daryl_, just because she wanted to feel like she still had someone... him… to talk to. Anyway, her and Daryl the dog had run into a herd of about fifteen walkers the day before and, once they were done running and battling one or two of at a time and fighting and killing, even the few hours sleep she got wasn't nearly enough.

"Thirty minutes 'til the cabin." He answered.

"Daryl, does it matter if we have a break for ten minutes? The moon will light the way." She answered.

He paced for a moment before answering, "It matters; the darker it is, the harder to see, I want to be back at the cabin where I can keep you safe."

"I've been out here for nearly two months on my own, think I can manage myself." She argued.

"You shouldn' 'ave to, now move it!"

"I'm taking a break!" She snapped.

"Beth!" He scolded her.

She simply sat on a log and ignored him.

He wanted to go and bash his head on a tree, for all the good it'd do him, he knew when Beth didn't want to do something , making her do it was likely as futile as trying to stop her from doing something she did want to do. He sighed to himself, before taking a deep breath and changing tactics, crossing to her and kneeling in front of her he began. "Beth? Don' wanna worry; promised Maggie I'd bring you back safe 'k? It's not far, I'll carry ya', just gotta keep ya safe."

She frowned, because his actions and the softness of his voice was a little unusual for Daryl. "You were never this up tight before; we walked around drunk after dark and you were fine with that."

He shrugged. "That was before."

"Before?"

"Look where it got us. Lost ya, Beth." He looked to the ground. "Couldn' keep ya safe."

Beth let her feet push the sand around a little. "Ya did, Daryl...with what ya taught me."

"Hmm."He grunted. He should've told her the truth, that after weeks of searching for her he just didn't want to risk losing her again, but he wasn't so great with words, and he probably shouldn't let her know that stuff.

She sighed heavily. "Okay, piggyback me?" It was embarrassing to ask, but something told her he really didn't mind and she was only being so stubborn about the whole thing because she honestly thought she actually couldn't make it another thirty minutes walk.

"Yeah, one serious piggy back comin' right up!" He smiled as he turned and lowered himself to her.

He obliged and even let a smile play on his lips when her arms stretched a little more around him than they needed to and he felt her warm breath on the back of his neck and it was about the most content he had felt in about two months, since the prison. He was a little concerned because he felt that pain in his chest again; he'd maybe ask Bob about it when he gets back, he was good with that whole doc thing. It was a persistent and dull ache, those electrifying tendrils of pain buzzing mildly, but almost constantly. He probably shouldn't be carrying Beth with it; he's possibly about to have a heart attack like his poppa or something and die and turn and eat her. He shook his head slightly at the thought of that, he didn't have the heart to make her walk, or do anything she didn't want to really, so he just hitched her up and carried on.

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**A/N Yay Cabin is within sight!**


	6. This too shall pass or sumthin'

**A/N wow guys bit excited about the amount of faves! That defiantly encourages me...Reviews do to! ;D**

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They'd made it to the cabin and cleared it, although it was unsettling when his arrow landed slightly to the left than he had aimed; regardless, it still hit the walker inside. He'd collected some firewood and taken advantage of the fireplace while Beth cleaned it out enough to make it useable again. She had been a little excited about the prospect of a real bed, but now she just sat there by the fire staring into it and playing with the mat gently. Daryl finally had the time to realign his bow. His eyes glanced up to her, the way she was staring into the fire was distracting, her eyes hadn't moved but a myriad of emotions flicked over her face. "Will you shut up?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Beth actually jumped at the sound of his voice even though it wasn't loud and her head snapped to him. "I ain't sayin nuthin'." Beth answered.

"'I'm not saying anything, 'n ya are." He corrected.

She scoffed at him. "Oh, so you're allowed to talk like a hillbilly hick but I'm not?"

"Different."He answered.

"How?"

"You're smart 'n stuff." He answered simply.

That comment made her sad, she always thought Daryl was one of the smartest men she'd ever met, why did he think he was so stupid? She wondered if that's why he acted so gruff and mean all the time, because he thought he was stupid, undeserving of anyone's time."So are you." She answered genuinely.

He groaned, and went back to realigning his crossbow, lifting the scope to eye level before dropping it back down and waxing the string.

A few moments later he dropped it on the floor with a huff, receiving a questioning look from Beth. "Ya just can't keep quiet can ya?"

She frowned. "Daryl, I didn't say anything."She argued.

"Nah." He complained. "But you're thinkin!" He tapped his fingers on his temple. "'N it's so damn loud I can't get any peace!" His voice definitely came across a little gruffer than it was supposed to.

She rolled her eyes. "So I'm not allowed to think now?"

He realized he was being awful again and let his demeanor soften a little. "Not unless you're gonna share it out loud." He answered.

"Why should I? It's not like you do."She answered, looking to the ground.

She was waiting for a reaction, so he answered obligingly. "'S'not like anyone asks."

"I'm asking." She challenged.

He shrugged. "I asked first."

"Mmm." She conceded as she wiggled by the fire where she sat, her last thought was her revelation about his demeanor, so she went to the one before that, where he had first interrupted her. "I was thinking, about Judith."

Daryl didn't respond, just waited for her to continue.

"And Daddy…I was thinking, I wonder if life will ever turn out like I wanted" She knew that sounded ridiculous now, but they were okay with being honest now, weren't they?

"Never does." He grunted. He regretted it when he saw her face fall a little; he wiped his face as if he had some urgent itch or something, and then picked his bow back up and continued retuning it. "Thinkin' about having kids, a family or somfin'?" He prompted.

She was impressed how he could keep up with her thoughts. They spent a lot of time together, caring for Judith and that time at the graveyard, but now, he just got her, really got her, it's different to how it used to be. She supposed they had talked a lot in that week, really gotten to know each other, and even before that she remembers they always just got each other. "Yeah, I mean not now, not you know, but one day… I always thought I would, you know, I mean is that ridiculous? Thinking I could ever have a normal life like that? I know we fooled ourselves at the jail, but you know, I mean it's possible right? Am I stupid for thinking like that?"

"No." He answered. "S'not dumb."

"Do you think about it?" She asked.

"What?"

"You know." She shrugged a little, wondering if she was about to cross some line, he was always so guarded about his own thoughts and feelings. "Being someone's daddy one day?"

He dropped his head a little. "Nah, not like my pop was any good...his poppa wasn't good to him, probably wouldn't be much better." Daryl admitted.

Beth wanted to rebut that immediately but she took a moment to think about it, because it mattered to her that he didn't feel so down on himself so much. "Did you think my daddy was good? A good father, I mean?"

He swallowed before looking at her, unsure about where this was going; he chewed on his bottom lip for a second almost nervous to answer, but he did. "Sure."

"My grandfather, Daddy's dad, he was a no-good drunk. Daddy used to say he was loveless and violent and he wasn't sorry he died." She looked at him before confirming the difference. "He wasn't sorry because he never earned his love."

Daryl caught the look even though his eyes had returned to his bow, he also understood that Beth thought he would be the kind of person that could earn someone's love and that thought was so contrary to his life so far that it made him uncomfortable. "Maybe he had the same dumbass shit-for-brains pop as me." He shrugged.

Beth brushed that off. "I'm just saying that my daddy was fine and I've seen you with Judith...the way you were with Sophia, even Carl." She commented. "You don't gotta assume you're no good. My daddy came out of it okay, you would too."

"Hm." Daryl tried to evade the almost compliment; he wasn't good, he couldn't protect them, not one of them, Carl was alive because of Rick, but the girl was dead because he couldn't save her and if Judith was alive it wasn't because of him. He didn't feel the need to bust her bubble though.

"Your turn...why do you think no one wants to know what you're thinking about?"

He ignored her at first but eventually, after her gaze refused to shift, he decided to grace her with an answer. "Ain't nobody ever asked. They tell me what to do, they never ask" He answered with something that sounded a little too sad.

"I'm asking now, I wanna know." She pushed gingerly.

He stilled his movements on his crossbow. "Nah, you're just bored. You wanna know what I can do, you're no different, want me to teach you to track, want me to protect you, you might listen to a Chupacabra story or sum'fin but you don't wan' ta know me, I'm not worth known, ain't worth shit, only thing I can do good is killin' and it's just lucky for me this world is needn' that around." He shook his head.

Beth's voice was quiet but it sounded firm. "That's not true."

He looked at her now, annoyed that she was so kind that she couldn't even admit things for what they are. "Back in the old world, well I was just the scum below ya feet, below y'all. People ain't want nuffin' to do with me, ain't wanna walk down the street by me, ain't wanna use the same vending machine, lucky if they wanted to drink from the same bar." He explained. He scratched his face again and continued. "Lucky people need me now the world's gone down the crapper. Don't think you're any different, you ain't. You just want me to look after ya. Don't fool yourself, ya dun' wanna know me. If you'd walked past me in the street before you wouldn't have noticed, that ain't changed."

Beth shook her head, annoyed. She thought he was past feeling like that, feeling worthless. "Maybe you are dumb... your family Daryl..."

He cut her off. "What's my favorite movie, my favorite color, my favorite food? You've known me for how long? Three years and you don't know shit about me, why? 'Cause you ain't never asked; no one has." He didn't know why it upset him so much, maybe this girly bullshit was rubbing off; he shook his head at that thought. Truth was, he knew what was happening and it wasn't just him, he'd felt the way she'd wrapped her arms around him when he carried her and he had to stop it now. Maybe pointing out how little she knew would remind her that he wasn't and would never be who she thought he was.

She didn't shy away though. "Well, that's unfair. You never watched much TV, I know you like black though, which isn't a color, so that's a trick question and I do know you like pigs' feet, but you really get enthusiastic about fried chicken. You always come in and get the scraps at meal time, but fried chicken you're always hanging around early, so you know what? I might not know you, but it's not because I don't want to, it's because you're so busy believing that you're not good enough that you don't want to give us a chance to know you, the real Daryl." She spoke a little angrily.

Daryl simply stood, readjusted his belt and headed for bed. He flopped on it and almost let himself smile, inwardly at least. It annoyed him, her blind faith in him, but it was about the nicest thing anyone had ever directed to him. He took to chewing on the end of his finger, something he did when he was nervous, or in deep thought, maybe he was too rough on her, too harsh..."Yeah, Beth, we keep gaining against the odds. Ya know, your dad always reckoned that as a human race we'd rise above it; that we'd find a way to survive. Someone gotta be havin' youngin's to keep the human race goin', no reason it can't be you…you know, one day." Beth smiled happily at that thought, not so much what he said, but the kindness in his voice, because it was so rare to hear from him. "This too shall pass, yeah, that's what he used to say to me, this too shall pass...one day" he was mumbling as he unintentionally fell asleep.

Beth was happy because it sounded as if for the first time in a long time, he believed it, not that he might live, that she might live, but that they might survive. She smiled as she crawled into the bed next to him. Yeah, there was a tenderness and something that sounded like belief or something in his voice. She didn't know what that meant but she smiled, because it meant that he might not hate himself, that maybe he understood, it meant something and that was good enough.

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**A/N Yay, finally got to that point in the story where it's all set up and it's easy to write! Hope you're enjoying!**


	7. Something about a chocolate

**A/N Here's a tiny bit of almost fluff for you to enjoy...of course Daryl is pissed about the fluffy stuff though.**

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Beth woke to Daryl sleeping on the floor, just a pillow and no blanket, face down, his arms had goose bumps, so he was cold; probably the only reason he was asleep longer than her, you're supposed to sleep longer when you're colder, she remembered her dad telling her that. She pulled the blanket off the bed and covered him gently, before heading to the cupboards in search of any food. The grumble of her stomach was a reminder that they probably should've done that last night, but they were both so tired at the time after their short conversation neither of them had managed the energy required to think about, far less procure food.

There was only a single can of spaghetti in the cupboard, a few bottles of cola though… that was a treat… and even a Big Cat, which was a great surprise. There was some flour, but that wasn't any good really without anything else to put it with. She looked back to Daryl, still sleeping, he almost looked peaceful like that, never did he ever look peaceful, but his face all droopy, his hair fallen across his eyes… yeah, that was peaceful for Daryl. She wondered why he had moved to the floor; she wondered briefly if it was because she was such a bed hog. Maggie always teased her about it, but something made her think Daryl would've pushed her back if he wanted to. Must've been some sense of gallantry, unnecessary though it was, him being cold on the hard floor; she felt safe with him, didn't mind him close to her, liked it actually. She'd tell him that later, she wouldn't let him sleep on the floor like that again.

She turned, pulled out two bowls and wiped them out, then opened the top drawer, looking for something with which to open the can. There wasn't anything, so she turned to cross to the nightstand where she left her knife, but ended up slamming into Daryl who suddenly stood right in front of her.

"Sorry." She apologised immediately, wondering how he had not only woken, but come to stand there so quickly and silently.

He smiled and flipped the can, tapping the lid. She felt so stupid, so incompetent… how did she not see the pull ring? She smiled and pulled it, emptying half the can into each bowl, then she spooned a little more into Daryl's bowl and reached for a second spoon for the second bowl, passing it to him.

"What, you don't gotta eat?" Daryl questioned almost sounding annoyed as he spooned some back to her bowl , so that it was even again.

Beth looked at him a little shocked, even when he was being nice it was somehow rough. "Just thought you'd need more."

He frowned as he shoved a spoonful in his mouth. "You ain't planning on pulling your weight? Not gonna carry you the whole way, Beth." He grumbled around the food he was trying to keep in while talking.

She shook her head with a smile, "No, I just thought, being a guy and all, you should eat more. Shawn always ate like a horse." She admitted.

Daryl felt a little sad at the mention at her big brother, not that he liked the guy, he barely knew anything about him, just that he didn't like Beth to think on anything that made her sad or something like that. "You better leave that Big Cat for me though." He pointed to the chocolate bar on the cupboard hoping to distract her from thoughts of her brother.

"Not a chance!"She grinned, picking it up and walking to the little couch. He shoveled down the rest of his food, and went to sit beside her. He didn't care, not really, about whether he got the bar or not and he guessed she didn't, but it was fun. Hell, no one had TV anymore, so if it was fighting over a chocolate bar, that'd be fine. He made a grab for it, but she beat him to it and stuck it under her right leg as she raised an eyebrow at him and took her last spoonful of spaghetti. "Not that quick, Mister Dixon." She answered sternly as she placed the bowl on the coffee table.

He knew it was a challenge. "Man's gotta eat." He argued.

"Girl's got to have chocolate." She smiled.

"Hm." He grunted, "Ain't gonna have nothing if you sit on it and melt it."

She shrugged. "Melted chocolate is still chocolate."

"I ain't eatin' no melted chocolate." He answered as he picked her up and made a grab for the bar, quickly shoving it in his pocket with a triumphant smile, only to have her hand follow his into his pocket and take it back with a giggle, as she made way for the other side of the cabin. She jumped on the bed and stood with her arm extended above her head; he briefly thought it was stupid but, after shrugging, decided maybe Beth needed this crap. He walked over and made way for grabbing at it. It was out of his reach, he quirked an eyebrow at her smile.

At that moment looking down at him she realized it could be like this, not just between them, but knowing that the rest of their family was safe, waiting for them, no matter what happened; that they'd always find each other, they'd always be there for each other. He pulled her down, snapping her from her thoughts and discovered in the process that her ribs were ticklish and used it to his advantage; it was almost enough until his chest tightened again and he stopped. She slipped out of his grasp and ran again, it was only a few steps when she realized Daryl was not following her and she turned. "What is it?"

She instantly worried when she saw him holding his chest, but he shook his head. "Just ate too quick, I reckon." He lied. A new panic raged in her, the good type, when he made way for her again. This time she tripped, landing face-first on the couch and felt the thud of Daryl on her back. She held the bar into her stomach, giggling uncontrollably, not just because it was fun being chased around like she used to be whenever she stole stuff from Maggie, like she was a kid in a normal world just having fun, but because Daryl was actually mucking around, which was something he'd never done, not once since she'd known him. Sure, he'd played a practical joke or two, cracked a funny, but never played like this. He was making some noise as he felt for it, that she was pretty sure was his version of a giggle. She knew this was a losing battle, he was much stronger and then she had an idea; she slipped it down her top, with a useless (seeing as he couldn't see it), triumphant grin from ear to ear, which quickly disappeared when his hand followed hers in. She stopped giggling and suddenly he was gone. She sat up and looked at him, doe-eyed, a little shocked that he'd actually put his hand right down her top without a thought; that's not what this was meant to be, not that she really minded if it was..._wait__,__ what? _She scolded herself for that thought; she was a little surprised about it.

He wiped his chin, then his whole face. "Sorry, Beth I didn' realize." He did a weird walk in a circle.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault, I didn't think you'd..." She began.

"Shouldn't 'a...just playin' 'n not thinkin'." He explained. Shit, as if that was a good enough reason. Truth was, he didn't realize what happened 'til it was done; he wouldn't have done it if he'd been thinking, he'd just followed her hand.

She stood up offering the offending bar."You can have it... I was only playing anyway." And the gesture did nothing to remove the awkwardness that had suddenly set over them.

He shook his head and made way for the door. She inwardly panicked, she knew it was stupid in hind sight, like he said she was just mucking around and not thinking, and now he thought...what? He was clearly annoyed.

"Where are you going?" She asked hesitantly.

"Takin' a piss." He answered, slamming the door behind him as if he had some reason to be angry at her, he wasn't, he was pissed at himself.

What the hell was he thinking? He was such a jerk, can't believe he just did that. What was he playing at, mucking around, chasing her around like some teenage boy, like the world was all okay? What the god damn hell was dripping on him? He looked up, expecting to see a hanger or something, but there wasn't anything there and he realized it was rain…crap, winter already? He'd lost track of time. Winter…they couldn't travel in the freezing winter rains. The last town he'd passed was at least a three hour walk, there were no cars left, nothing to scavenge, they'd cleaned it out repeatedly during their months at the prison. He knew this countryside well, knew it because he and Michonne had done countless runs, countless searches for the Governor. He knew the towns because they were uncomfortably close to his childhood home, well his teenage home. Maybe Woodbury had some cars? That wasn't worth the risk, or he just couldn't face it... either way. There was the car back at that small town Merle... no couldn't go there either, that left the prison which was still a major no, or the next settlement nearly seventy miles away. They couldn't walk there during the winter, he thought they had at least two weeks. It wasn't just a drop of rain, he noticed it now, the subtle changes in the woods; he just hadn't noticed it before, but this was winter and within two days he expected heavy rains and if it was anything like last year they'd be relentless. Everywhere he thought of was overrun by walkers, they were herding thick and heavy the past few months. He couldn't think of anything that he and Beth could manage. He knew of a few camps around, maybe someone would be willing to lend a hand, but then not all of them were the neighborly type, most weren't and there was no way to tell who was and who wasn't. Perhaps someone might happen by and get eaten and leave a car? That's a morbid thought and not worth the risk. It'd be best to wait out the worst of the cold Georgian rains and head out in a few weeks; that'd be safest, that's what they were going to do.

He made way for the house and flung the door open. "Goin' hunting, set up shop here."

Beth was confused; he'd gone out furious and come back acting like all was fine. "We're staying?" She questioned.

"Rainy season rolled in early, we'll catch our deaths out there in that; here's as good as any, woods are safer than towns, you know that."

She nodded. She wasn't keen on staying, she wanted to get to see Maggie as soon as possible, but Daryl was right and she trusted him, so she busied herself for the afternoon with tidying the house, sweeping, wiping blood off the wall from where the owner had obviously met his last walker. She found fresh linens and a big pot to boil so that she could wash their clothes, there was a limited supply of women's clothes, but it was all...less than appropriate. There was a pair of short shorts that might be okay for sleeping in and a few tanks, but most of it was seductive looking, not anything she could actually wear. She changed into a man's pair of pants which really were far to big but she secured them with her belt and opted for a flannelette shirt over one of those tanks. It wasn't pretty but it was warm and clean and didn't smell of rotting flesh and that was the best she'd had in a while. She even boiled enough water to fill the bath and that was heavenly, luckily the water ran off a pump system which meant it came straight out of the taps. It was nice to clean up, nice to feel normal, she opened the cupboard and found razors, perfume, lotions, condoms, hair brushes, make-up, bath oils… she should've opened it before bathing. She decided to shave her legs, which was just awesome, even in the prison they hadn't had that luxury; if razors were brought back from the runs, they went to the men for their beards. It just made sense as razors were something that were always in short supply, so this was the first time in two years that she'd had the pleasure of shaving, and it felt just so amazing, so feminine. After, she busied herself with some of the finer details around the cabin, wiping the dust off shelves, that sort of thing and she heard chickens, maybe she could coop them? It was all in all looking okay for the winter. She even ventured out and set up a perimeter and got some plates ready, expecting squirrel or bunny...or something worse like snake or owl. She even bathed the dog, which was something she'd never expected to do again, ever.

Looking outside she decided to boil some water for Daryl too; she filled the bath in just three trips and laid out some clothes. They were probably much too big for him, but like hers they were fresh and clean. She placed a razor on top, in case he wanted to shave, not that he ever had in the prison...or on the farm when it was no issue. Maybe he liked it, or maybe he just didn't care, either way she put it there, in case.

She crossed to the night stand and opened it, finding nothing useful she closed it and tried the other side...she pulled out a pair of handcuffs? With pink fluff... and a romance novel, that made sense now, that's what this cabin had been once, a little romantic getaway. She smiled to herself, it actually was, romantic that is, set in the woods, a stream out back, candles everywhere; yeah, it was romantic.

She pulled the book from the drawer and closed it, there was no key for the chest at the foot of the bed; maybe Daryl could bust it open later, for now, she had done everything she could. Dark was coming and Daryl would be back any moment... well should be, but she didn't worry herself about whether he was okay. He was Daryl, and when this world went down, there would be the cockroaches the walkers and Daryl Dixon stomping on them both; she knew that so she didn't worry, well not too much. She busied herself with empting the last pot of hot water into the bath and set out the shampoo and body wash; it was girly, but it was something, then she simply sat in front of the fire , the dog by her side and started the book. It wasn't her usual thing, but any reading was good reading at this point.

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**A/N hope you enjoyed. Please review.**


	8. Something in my bed

Daryl walked in with a grunt. "Only got one." He threw the skinned and gutted squirrel on the kitchen sink.

Beth closed her book and headed over to prepare it straight away. "One is better than none...I heard some chickens, maybe we can catch one tomorrow?" She suggested.

He looked at her then, noticing her new attire; it looked quite ridiculous, but it was clean. "Yeah, saw one, just didn't shoot it, dunno how many are around, might be worth the eggs." He answered. "Got the place lookin' nice, perimeter's secure." He said approvingly.

"I boiled you a bath; it might be a bit hot, but there's clean clothes. I can wash those, if you want." Beth told him, eyeing him up and down. It was the first time she'd really done that in a long time, sure she had done it once when she first met him. She'd briefly done it when he got back from runs, just a quick scan just to see if he had, you know, a missing limb; this was supposed to be the same innocent action, just a run over of his clothes, but it wasn't, something had caught her eye. He had caught her eye and she noticed for the first time how much she really liked it... him. He'd changed so much since she'd first met him, any of that boyishness was long gone and he was battle hardened beyond recognition, she didn't dislike it though, she liked it a lot actually. Looking him up and down now she noticed that he wasn't like the others, Rick, Glenn, Bob. He wasn't thin, he didn't look like he was slowly losing a battle; his body was thick with layers of muscle, he was thriving, he looked so healthy, so unaffected… yeah she liked it alot. He cleared his throat a little and she blushed slightly realizing her gaze must've lingered a little too long.

He looked at her, didn't say anything didn't move. He was just thinking how nice it was, to have someone run him a bath, lay out his clothes and do his washing, even look at him like she was now. He'd never had that in his life and the thing was it felt normal, comfortable, he didn't feel like he owed her anything for it, it was so homey. She was still looking at him, a little embarrassed, but still holding his eyes. Was she waiting for him to say something? He couldn't think of anything so he simply turned and headed to the bathroom.

Feeling the water with his hand it was a little too hot, but the thought of soaking in it, the heat drawing the tension out of his muscles he couldn't wait; he stripped down and climbed in.

Beth heard Daryl moaning in there, which was the most common noise that came from him; grunts and moans made up at least half of his vocabulary, but this was different, it was longer and more drawn out and filled with pleasure. She scrunched her brow. "You okay?" She asked, then thought maybe she shouldn't have; there was only one reason she'd heard a boy moaning in the bathroom, specifically Shawn during his teenage years. It had always had her and Maggie teasing him, Maggie more than her; she smiled to herself, at the memory of their simple sibling teasing, she'd thought he'd always be there to tease... There was another long moan and she felt a little blush, Daryl wasn't her brother so that would just be plain weird and uncomfortable, especially after her latest thought pattern, she didn't want to think of Daryl like that.

"God, Beth, this is so good!" He answered. "I ain't had a bath in four years... not like those crappy camp showers at the prison or bathing in a cold river, it feels great!"

She felt stupid for her thoughts; that made so much more sense.

"It's so hot... hey, Beth, they got that shampoo that smells like apricots!" He exclaimed. "I ain't never had stuff like this before!"

She smiled to herself, sometimes the simplest of things made him happy; she was surprised to be honest that he wasn't offended at the girly smelling products.

He rubbed the shampoo into his hair, into his pathetic attempt at a beard… Merle had always teased him for that, said he was a boy, _men can grow a beard,_ that was how he'd end every argument. There would be one beer left and Merle would snatch it and say,' Boy, you can have it when you can grow a beard on that sissy little face.' Daryl rolled his eyes at the memory and dipped his head under the water to wash of the soap, reveling in the feeling of being so completely surrounded in warmth. He came up, wiped the water out of his eyes and groaned with contentment; it sucked they had to stay here, but maybe here wasn't so bad.

"Hey, Daryl?" Beth's voice came through the door.

"Hm?" He grunted, far too pleased to talk.

"Dinner's ready." She answered, receiving a groan in response. "And, Daryl?"

"Yeah?" He asked, confused at what she sounded so bemused about.

"Shut up, you sound like a damn walker." She smiled.

"Oh, you shut up!" He answered with a snap, but there was a wide smile on his face. Course he'd never let her or anyone else see it, but for that moment it was there and he didn't have to hide it. He sank back down for one final dip before getting dressed and joining her for dinner.

"Bathed the dog?"It was the first thing he noticed as he flopped on the couch. They could've eaten at the table like civilized people and she probably would've liked that, but he was tired and, although the bath had helped, he was sore. Besides, they were eating squirrel which wasn't that civilized, but whatever, when had he ever been domesticated anyway?

"What's wrong?" Her voice invaded his thoughts, and he quit biting on his finger and replied.

"Nuffin'." He mumbled as she sat beside him and handed him a plate with something that just didn't look as bad as squirrel, the head had gone to the dog and he had a neat little half. She wouldn't let it go, he knew that, so he tried distracting her; he leaned forward and shoved his head in her face. "Smell like apricots?"

She smiled and pushed his head away. "Yeah, Daryl you smell great." She almost giggled.

He chuckled at that as he picked through his meat, neither of them said anything, they didn't need to and he appreciated that she could do that, just sit in silence. Before long, she took his empty plate to the sink and he realized that he felt like a real prick, letting her serve him like that, draw his bath, set his clothes, cook his food. Taking his damn plate, at first it was nice, but now he realized it was just a little too kind, too tender, the way she was acting; he on the other hand, was acting like his pop. That's how his father acted, like the whole damn world had to serve him; he hadn't meant to, he was just tired, but so was she. "Din' mean it." _Didn't mean to be such a damn prick__,_ he thought; could've at least brought more than a squirrel.

"What?" She asked.

His head snapped up, did he say something out loud? He shook his head slightly. "I'm gonna hit the sack." He answered, as he crossed to the bed and grabbed a pillow, throwing it to the floor by the fire.

"Daryl?" Her voice was a little uncertain, _what was that?_ he wondered. She never sounded uncertain, did she? Not with him, not now. He just looked at her. "Makes no sense, there's room for both of us."

Truth was he'd never slept next to a woman in his life, he'd laid next to one, but never closed his eyes and slept; never trusted someone not to stab him in the back when is eyes closed. "I'm fine." He shrugged.

"Daryl, I don't want you to...it's cold and hard and I don't even think the dog should have the floor." She looked to the dog, who was now curled up on the small couch.

He hung his head a little, she meant it, she was sincere about it, so he picked up the pillow and threw it on the bed, flopping on it with a thud.

Beth was so different, gentle, slid under the sheets with grace, like some sort of sheet angel; how'd she make such a basic act look so damn sexy? She pulled a sheet up for god's sake, how the hell was that arousing in any way? What the hell was wrong with him? Her beauty only served to point out how completely opposite to him she was, but still, he couldn't stop starring at her, couldn't tear his eyes from her.

He was just staring at her, one hand up behind his head and the other brushing his beard in the way he did whenever he was thinking. "Get in Daryl, you're all on the quilt." She complained.

He moved quickly, pulling the sheet back, climbing in and fixing the quilt up over her shoulders for her. He let his hand rest on her shoulder for a minute, just touching the bare skin. He'd never done that to her before; he'd pushed her out of the way of danger, held her when she was scared, carried her when she was hurt, held her hand to keep her close, or to shut her the hell up, but never touched her for the point of touching her, but he did now and she felt wonderful. His hand ran down her arm a little and she sighed and it sounded amazing. He'd never been in this situation before either and he didn't know what to do with it, or himself for that matter; his hand was squeezing her arm now, not hard, just like he wanted to make sure she was real or something. She wriggled back a tiny bit and her back pressed against his chest a little and his body couldn't help but respond, all of him. He let out a heavy breath and then it hit him, what the fuck was he doing? What was he letting her do to him? It was normal to have little thoughts absently cross your mind when in this situation with a pretty girl, but to consciously let them roam, to allow himself to act even in this small way, it was disgusting. The funny thing is, she really probably had no idea. He ripped his arm back and rolled to face the other wall, elbowing her shoulder in the process, but he couldn't let her know what was happening, she'd be disgusted, she'd hate him for being such a pig. He couldn't even keep his shit together for one night, what was that? He grunted and he punched his pillow into a shape that felt comfortable.

Beth flinched a little as he did so. He didn't apologize for her shoulder, which actually hurt, but maybe he didn't realize. Had she done something wrong? No she didn't do anything, he was going to give her a hug wasn't he? Then all of a sudden he seemed annoyed about it, it must be another Daryl thing. Maybe he was upset she didn't respond straight away, yeah that's it; he's always so capable, he probably actually wanted a hug and she didn't give it to him and now he was feeling all rejected, yeah that made sense. So she rolled over and pressed herself to his back and put her arm around his waist, and it felt just right. He didn't respond, maybe stiffened a little, but as long as he didn't yell at her he was probably happy about it she thought. Maybe he was asleep, he didn't say anything and he didn't move, she closed her eyes and it seemed like seconds and she was asleep.

Daryl on the other hand couldn't get a wink, what the hell did she think she was doing to him? Regardless of all of the reasons that that would defiantly not be okay, he was still just a man, and she couldn't do shit like this and not expect him to do anything. He'd figure something out when he went hunting tomorrow, a way to nicely drop the hint, tell her that, although he'd prefer sleeping in a soft bed, he'd have to sleep on the floor if she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

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**A/N Oh well that's that, sorry nothing happened but it's a bit early.**


	9. I need something

**A/N well it had to happen eventually, everyone's wondering what was going on with Carol and Daryl...Beth is about to ask :D**

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Daryl was up, had clearly been hunting by the smell of fresh cooked squirrel and was nudging Beth to wake; she couldn't believe she had slept so long.

"What time is it?" She asked as she took the plate of squirrel.

Daryl shrugged, time was irrelevant in this world, there was either enough, or not enough time. There wasn't 9am and 12 noon and 3pm; times like that didn't exist now. There was dawn, the space between dawn and dusk, and then dark and that was it. There weren't even weeks or months of the year anymore; it was more, seasons and even that was a loose fit, as Daryl knew by his mis-judgement for how close winter was. It was so basic now, why did Beth even think of something as specific as time? "Early." He answered and she seemed happy with that.

"Gonna make a run to town today." He informed her.

"Good." She smiled. "I want to find some butter and fruit, maybe? Make pie." She stated simply as she bit off some squirrel meat.

"Hm." He stared at her. This too was new, waking a woman up, one that wasn't passed out drunk, and she looked gorgeous. The blue morning light filtering in through the cracks in the boarded windows made her look just stunning. "Y'grandma's recipe?" He asked.

Her eyes shot to his with a strange look. "How'd you know?" She asked.

He shrugged, in disbelief that he almost let it slip, her diary had two whole pages on the damn thing. "Hersh said you liked bakin' it." He lied.

"Oh." She smiled shyly.

"Eat up, girl, it's a long walk." He advised.

She did as she was told and they left soon after; she told the dog to stay and he obliged. It was such a strange thing to do, telling a dog to stay, she didn't think she'd do that ever again and, had it been any other dog, she would have worried that a walker would get him. She didn't worry about him, though, he'd survived before her and, to be honest he looked after her more than she did him, so he'd be fine. She walked with Daryl for possibly half an hour before she made conversation.

"You thought you might have found their tracks?" She asked.

He glanced back to her before answering/ "M-hm."

"Far from here?"

"Fair way." He answered. She looked over to him and he nodded. "I looked again…they've gone, no way to find 'em again."

"Why?" She asked.

"Time." He explained; this was a prime example of too much of it.

She shook her head, which flicked her ponytail across her shoulders, it was cute somehow; he looked to the ground, he wasn't going to pay attention to her ponytail or anything else.

He knew what she was shaking her head at and he volunteered to answer. "'Cause it was you." She stopped and looked at him and he realized what he said. "You know, on ya own... there's the three of them " He explained.

"But, Judith?" She answered.

Daryl didn't have a reasonable explanation, he knew he should've went for Judith, but it was Beth and he just couldn't; he stared at her, wondering if she could understand at all. She smiled eventually. "Carol will take good care of her. Maybe we could make a sign like Maggie for them." She suggested, thinking back to when she first saw Maggie's sign and knew she was alive after escaping from those men. She'd been so happy when Daryl said she found him, found Glenn; she understood what it meant to do anything for someone. That's why she didn't run to Terminus, she'd stayed; she had to go back to the house and see if he was there. She knew there was a possibility that if he got out he'd go to Terminus if he saw it, but she also thought he likely wouldn't; he was too skeptical to believe...she did know he'd look for her though and that was enough.

"Yeah." Daryl's grated voice croaked as he passed her. "C'mon."

"Do you miss her?" She asked. She asked it without reservation, it was what it was.

"Sure, miss her heaps." Daryl answered and it made Beth's heart sink a little. Why did he come for her instead of Carol? It would've been obligation; she was taken from him and he'd find her just because he was supposed to. "Miss those long nights with her, talkin' to her about raids, about life, just being with her y'know? I knew she din' understand everythin' I said, but liked doin' it anyway. Just liked holdin' her, feelin'… dunno close to sum'n like that, liked sleepin' with her...just felt peaceful 'n right havin' her in m'arms...ya know." He chuckled a little and Beth was more than surprised he'd admit that to her; she hadn't even been sure he and Carol were a couple until then. "Miss hearin' you singin' to her. Remember when she cut her first tooth?" He turned to her and he was actually smiling, not just that faint one, but actually smiling so Beth could see his teeth, a real smile, a completely un-Daryl smile.

"Judith?" She asked.

"M-hm." He wondered why he asked, who else would he be talking about?

Beth sighed with relief. "You stayed up with her?"

Daryl shrugged. "Yeah, remember when she went through that colicky stage? Well, when you were sleepin' only Carol 'n me could settle her and Carol was carin' for Lizzie and Mika so Rick would bring her into me. I'd rock her in my arms, 'n talk to her, y'know, 'bout stuff, 'n she'd look up at me like whatever I was sayin' was important... not many people did that and then she'd close her little eyes and I'd lean back and sleep. Funny, I was s'posed to be keepin' her here 'n safe, didn' feel like that though."

Beth smiled. "Yeah we had it good, hey...at the prison? Never would've thought I'd have the best time of my life at a prison." Beth answered.

"Never thought I'd land my ass in prison, I was never gonna." Daryl admitted.

Beth had to ask; she didn't want to know the answer but she had to. "Did you love her?"

"Lil' Asskicker?" He looked at her.

"Carol?"

He paused; he was shocked, why would she think that? "No!" He exclaimed as he soldiered ahead, annoyed that she could even think that…why would she? What sort of person did Beth think he was? How could he? He could never love someone like Carol. He knew what he was, and he knew what Carol was and he most certainly knew what Beth was, but really? She had to ask? "Why would you even think that, girl?" He snapped as he threw an arm in the air. "Stupidest thing I ever heard!"

"Sorry, I thought...I mean... you looked for her little girl until it almost killed you... she followed you around and said stuff like…." Beth thought of the times she'd heard Carol suggest a quickie in hushed tones, or mentioned that Daryl was man enough for her. She even had pet names for him when she thought no one was listening; Daryl would scoff and walk off, sure, but he did it like maybe he'd take her up on it. The times Carol would rub his shoulder while he nursed Judith and he'd let her and Carol had said he'd given her flowers and even a bracelet once. Sure, he'd brought stuff back for Beth and Carl and Patrick, even Michonne and Glenn, but she just thought that Carol was...different.

"Like what? Said stuff like what?" He snapped. Beth looked to her boots and shrugged. "She tell ya what she told me when I was lookin' for that little girl? She tell ya she told me not to go?" He was shaking his head as if the memory still disgusted him. "She din' wanna lose me? Stupid bitch!" He spat. "Give up on her kid for some peace of shit she just met?! She tell ya that she tried to pay me like some whore for protection? Tell ya that she thought she owned me? Any friend I ever made, she'd remind me she was there first, stupid skank. She tell ya she killed Karen and David?" He bit back; he had a lot more to say about Carol, but didn't need to say it, that was enough.

"Why'd you let her then?" Beth didn't know what she meant, why'd he let Carol flirt with him, let people believe there might be something?

He shrugged, losing some of the hardness to his face. "Nice, I guess...knowing someone wants ya around, don' matter why. She was the first one that told me, din' believe her then, not sure I do now, but she said it and that was worth bein' nice you know?" Daryl's voice had lowered and he seemed more open to talking now.

"Told you what?" Beth questioned.

Daryl raised his bow and took out a stray walker before walking over and retrieving the bolt. He squared his shoulders "She said I was just as good as Rick, every bit as good, ain't never had someone tell me I was worth somethin' 'fore that." Daryl answered.

Beth smiled, is that all it took for him to put up with someone he so disliked? "She's right, you know? We all knew it, just thought you knew it too."

Daryl had stopped at that and she smiled sweetly as she passed him; he looked so surprised that she'd say that… why wouldn't she? Course he was...better, she thought.

Daryl smiled and quickly caught up and overtook her, he couldn't stand walking behind her watching her long legs not while she was giving him compliments, he'd rather lead. Stupid girl, thinks he's all that, he scoffed a little at the thought and her voice broke into his thoughts again. She knew he didn't believe her, not really, but she wanted him to, that's why she decided to tell him. "I told Daddy I wanted to go on a run once... I know we all had our jobs, but sometimes, I felt mine wasn't enough and you know what he said, Daryl?" Daryl was silent which gave Beth the go ahead to continue. "He said he'd think about letting be go with you... he didn't say Maggie or Glenn or Michonne, or Eddie, or David, or Tyreese or Sasha or Leo or Bob. They were all capable, but he didn't say any of them, he said_ 'I'll talk to Daryl, if he's willing I'll think about it__._' I told him Michonne was going out, and he said '_Wait for Daryl__,__ Beth'_ I know he never got to ask you because the next morning we had that flu outbreak, but it was you he trusted most. That says something about what he thought about you; what we all thought about you. It's not like anyone of them were that much less capable, he just knew that if he let me go with you, you'd die before you let anything happen to me, and not just me, it's anyone, you'd die for any one of us and you wouldn't even think about it. We'd all think about it, but not you and that's what makes you better. Daddy knew that."

Daryl couldn't deal with the compliments, it wasn't something he was used to. "I'm not better." Daryl grumbled.

Beth shrugged. "Doesn't matter what you say, Daryl, I know."

Somehow she was leading again and he could do little more than follow, she'd silenced him again.

* * *

They got into town and headed to a gas station where Daryl and Michonne had hidden a stash of loot last timewhen they couldn't fit everything; Daryl had told her where they were going. When she finally spoke againshe asked. "What's in them?"

"Canned food, spam, peas, some of that powdered mashed potato, a comic for Carl, hair ties..." Daryl stopped, remembering people had put in various gift requests for Hershel's birthday, most of them useful. Beth probably wouldn't recognize what they were, but there was one. They'd gone to the hardware and he'd found some packets of seeds, Michonne had thrown him a Hershey's bar and crossed out the Y and drawn a messy 'L' on it with a Sharpie and added _Happy B-Day from Michonne + Daryl. _ Daryl had smiled and wrapped a hair tie around it to keep the bundle together. They'd known his birthday had been coming up soon at the time; Beth had only mentioned it a dozen times or so. When they'd run out of room the gift bag had been left behind and Daryl thought he'd best find the bag before Beth saw it; there was no need to remind her that her dad never made that surprise party she'd been planning.

"Can we scout around?"

"Days are too short; won't have much time, wanna get in and out." He answered.

She didn't know how to broach the subject, so she just went for it. "Daryl...there's something I need."She said quietly.

"Chocolate?" He asked.

"No..." She said, still looking at her boots.

"What?" He asked as he spat on the ground and sniffled… great, getting caught in the rain out hunting must've made him sick.

"Just stuff." She answered. "Don't want to say." She shifted her boots.

He stared at her for a minute, caught sight of a walker and took his crossbow off his back just in case it got close enough. "Well we ain't gonna find it if you don't tell me what it is." He said.

She felt stupid, but spat it out anyway. "You know, girl stuff..." She looked up to see him staring at her.

"Ya need it? Got hair ties 'n shit, buncha make-up in that cupboard." He looked confused.

Beth blushed and refused to look at him. "Tampons...sorry, it's just I'm due soon and I've got nothing."

Daryl was still staring. That walker over her shoulder was close enough now; she knew it was there, but she knew he had his eye on it. His arrow went flying past her and she decided to go and retrieve it, mostly because she felt uncomfortable. She handed it back to him and he was still staring at her; it was not that he thought it was weird, or that he was uncomfortable, it just occurred to him that since this whole thing started he had never thought about it. Obviously the girls sorted the girl stuff, no one had made a request to him for it; kind of made sense though, there had been more than one or two times he'd been on the end of Michonne or Maggie's grumpy side. Of course all that still happened, even in an apocalyptic zombie world, it just never occurred to him. He must've read her questioning look because he finally spoke. "Well it ain't nothing t' be embarrassed about, just a part of nature. Y' need some'fin just speak up." He said as he turned to walk off. "What do ya need... a pharmacy?' Daryl asked.

Beth nodded and then realized he wasn't looking. "Yeah." She was a little surprised, in the past she'd tried to get Maggie to ask Glenn and would see him blush and look all embarrassed, but Daryl took it in his stride which just made her all the more comfortable about the whole thing.

"There's one right across from the gas station." He told her. Beth followed him and, after he cleared the pharmacy, he finally spoke. "Have fun shopping, I'll go grab the bags." He figured at least that way he could ditch Hershel's gift before she had to see it and he wouldn't have to stand around looking at the women's section.

Beth didn't say good-bye, just continued searching, she found some pain killers for it too which was a wonderful bonus, luxuries like that just weren't something she'd had for a long time. She stuffed them in a bag happily, when she heard footsteps behind her; she didn't need to turn around, walkers and people sounded so different. She smiled, she wouldn't have noticed that before Daryl pointed it out to her. "I'm all done, Daryl, no need to worry." She said as he turned around and then her face fell.

* * *

**A/N oh no what sort of trouble has Miss Greene found herself in now? Please review :D**


	10. Gotta do sumthin'

Daryl removed the roof panel above the counter and pulled down their loot, he dug through the first bag and didn't find the gift, same with the second. He looked toward the pharmacy and saw two people standing;the other was a way away, but it wasn't moving towards her, so it was probably not a walker, which is possibly more dangerous. He picked up his crossbow and stealthily headed over, creeping into the pharmacy. Beth was giggling, it seemed like a harmless conversation, but the guy was definitely flirting with her.Daryl was thinking about shooting the punk then and there, but another two guys walked in behind him.

"Yo, Jeremy, what 'cha found?" The taller man asked. Daryl was cursing himself for leaving her for a second.

"This is Beth" Jeremy answered.

"Pretty girl." The first guy added. The second guy was older maybe five or ten years older than Daryl and he could see it, the look in the prick's eyes, as if the younger two weren't bad enough. He looked back to Beth, who was actually blushing, how god damn stupid was she?

"So you're just on a scavenger run too?" Beth questioned.

"Yeah, the three of us just needed a few things."The taller man that walked in answered.

"Found us a bonus too." The older man commented as he looked Beth up and down greedily; she hadn't seemed to notice yet.

"Is your group big?" She questioned.

"We're about twenty strong, no ladies as lovely as yourself though, just a bunch of blokes, but were set up okay, what about you?" The older man said.

Beth was still blushing, clearly she had no idea what sort of situation she was in. "Yeah, we've got a big group, 164 of us, that's including children." Beth gave their numbers from the prison.

_Good girl_, Daryl thought she might be hopelessly friendly but at least she wasn't stupid.

"That's a big group, where are you located?" Jeremy smiled.

Daryl was hoping she didn't say the prison, anyone in a fifty mile radius would have to know it's gone by now.

"Yeah, well we're more of a group of groups, sort of scattered throughout the area, but we all watch out for each other, you know. It's safer with those herds that have been coming through, no point risking the whole of us in one spot."

"Fair enough, maybe we could join up ta ya groups?" The older man said to her, and Daryl knew the guy didn't mean it, they were just planning on separating her from whoever came on this scavenginghunt with her. He could see exactly what sort of man he was, there was no doubt. Daryl was unsure what to do, should he try and take out the three of them at once? It probably wouldn't be the safest option, he made way back to the door, figuring he might just walk in as if he had not been watching the whole time.

"Maybe, course we have to talk to our leaders, you know, negotiate, but we could set up a meeting, maybe here again." Beth smiled.

"So you wanna come and check out the Mexican joint? Our last raid we found a whole heap of fancy saucesI'm sure would make meals a little more enjoyable. I'll go halves with whatever we find" Jeremy suggested.

"I should probably catch up with my group, at least one of them, you know, just let them know where I'm going." Beth suggested.

"We'll only be a few minutes.Ted can let 'em know when they come looking." Jeremy said.

"Here," Ted offered a Gatorade to Beth. "Token of friendship." He smiled. Beth reached out for it; these guys seemed nice, maybe it might be safer for her and Daryl to camp with them this winter. Of course, she'd have to find Daryl and see what he thought first, on that note she saw his head pop up from a shelf by the door.

"You don't wanna take the man's drink, girl." Daryl advised.

"One of your group?" The taller guy asked.

"Yeah one of them. It's okay, Daryl, these guys seem like some of the good lot left." She smiled as she took the drink.

"Ain't nothing free no more, they'll be wantin' something back." Daryl advised. She disagreed, he was always so mistrustful, but she didn't open the bottle anyway.

"Daryl, they're being neighborly, I haven't got anything on me that they'd be interested in." She looked down to her bag of woman's products.

Daryl looked at the men again, the older man had his hand resting on the hilt of his knife, it was supposed to look casual, but Daryl had noticed, and he thought Beth might have now too. "Oh yes you do." Daryl answered flatly which earned him a confused look from Beth, "And they ain't havin' it." Daryl spat, barley masking his disgust.

"Look man, we just want to have some fun." Jeremy said loosely.

Daryl swallowed hard, how could men be like that, see her as fun? "Don't worry, we'll leave ya some. Pretty little bit like this, you know ya want it, just tell the rest of ya' group she was bit." The old guy said which actually earned a disgusted look from Beth, obviously she had caught on.

"She ain't yours." Daryl stated as he stepped towards the guy, his crossbow aimed at the man's chest."Beth…." Daryl was going to tell her to get behind him but was cut off by the taller man. "She yours already? Can see why ya' don't wanna share." The taller man was closer to Beth now and slapped her butt as he said it.

"Geez sorry man, didn't mean to tread on your territory." At least the kid had the decency to look semi-remorseful before he added. "Didn't know she belonged to someone already." Jeremy stated. That made his stomach turn;why did it not matter what she thought? Just mattered that she belonged to someone? That made his blood boil.

He didn't deny it; he knew Beth didn't belong to him, not like that, and she never would but still, if that's where this was going, he wouldn't deny it. "Yeah, well she does." Daryl snapped, trying to decide which of the targets posed a bigger threat, the taller guy or the older one.

The older Man somehow pulled a gun "Well, you know what it's like nowadays, not much to go around, certainly not many of the youngin's,you gotta share. I get that ya probably wouldn' wanna share something so rare. Prob'ly still in shock that ya got one so willin', but we can either be neighborly, like the lady here suggested, or we can just kill ya and take her, either way, we're gonna be getting some, ain't yours no more."

A ball of anger and something else he didn't quite recognize welled up in his stomach, and that electric pain shot from his chest again. "Told ya, mate, she's claimed and I ain't ya neighborly type." Daryl spat.

There was a strange ball tightening in Beth's stomach at that, at the way Daryl stated she was claimed, the feral look on his face. She knew right now in this situation probably wasn't the best time to be feeling such things, but she couldn't help her subconscious thoughts, oh yes she was happy to belong to Daryl.

"Look, buddy, ya' seem like a reasonable guy, ain't no need that we have ta put ya down over a lil' bit of tail." The older man explained.

Daryl heard the taller one whispering in Beth's ear. "You are gonna be fun huh, by the way you got him all twisted up you must be pretty good."He ran his hand across her stomach "'N I thought we got lucky findin' a youngin', first go n' all, s'okay, I don't mind if you're spoiled already." His hand had drifted to her crotch and the look of paralysing fear on Beth's face, and the guy's words were enough to tip Daryl over the edge. Truth was, he wouldrather he got them both killed than do nothing. He attempted to pull the trigger on his cross bow but it was too late. That hole in his chest ripped open and when he looked down this time there was blood, a bit lower than his chest on in the side of his stomach, but still it was there and it was a raging pain. He dropped his bow which sent the arrow skidding across the floor into a boxand he fell to the floor with a thud; god it hurt like hell but her screaming his name was enough to keep him here, to not let himself pass out.

She was screaming his name, over and over and it was filled with sobs and sadness, not because of what was about to happen to her, but because of the thought of losing Daryl.

He lifted his head and saw the three men pulling her to the ground; there was no way he was going to let this happen, not to Beth, no way in hell, his vision was a little blurred and he tried pointlessly to blink it away. Somewhere in him he found the strength to stand, he picked up his crossbow, knowing he had no chance of loading it now, so he drew it back and slammed it over the older man's head. He fell to the ground with a thud and the taller guy flew at Daryl, landing him flat against a shelf. Beth wasn't screaming his name now, just making strained noises as she beat Jeremy off. She was losing and the thought made him want to be sick, his stomach was bleeding out pretty hard and he didn't know where it hit; whether the bullet went through, how much time he had left, it felt like the situation he was in with Rick only a few weeks back. It sickened him men would be driven to this, but then he knew it must've been in them all along. He was helpless then, as he was now, there was no way they were coming out of this okay; it was hopeless, they only got out of it last time because Rick…and then he thought, could he do it?It was enough to shock the others and tip the scales; maybe it would here, he could feel himself weakening, knew he wasn't strong enough to fight them of now, but he had to try, and with that he threw his head forward and sank his teeth into the man's neck like some animal and ripped out his jugular, just as Rick had done. It was brutal and feral and as he spat out the fallen man's flesh, gagging on the iron taste sliding down his throat, he stumbled sideways a little, catching sight of Beth, with a horrified Jeremy atop her, who was able to pull her knife and stab him in the stomach, ripping it sideways and rolling her off him; she stabbed again and again.Daryl was able to do little more than understand why she was doing it, he got it, the anger the rage…god he felt it in himself. Suddenly he realized what that other feeling in his stomach was, it was fear, he'd never felt it, not like this. The older man was coming to and lifting his head, Daryl made way for his crossbow and dropped himself on the man's back. He wrapped the handle of the bow aroundthe man's neck and pulled tight. Beth stopped stabbing and placed a final blow to Jeremy's head as she watched Daryl, the man's hands flailing about trying to find something to hold onto, and Daryl's steely gaze on her. Eventually the man slumped to the ground and Daryl soon after.

Beth crossed to him and pulled him up. "Daryl...you're hit." She whispered. He couldn't stop a small almost-laugh from escaping his lips, yeah he forgot that. "Daryl?"

He shook his head. "Did it go through?"

She bent her neck around to the back of his waist and nodded.

"Good, gotta get outta here." He told her, "Huntin' shop." He said as he nodded to the small attachment to the gas station. It was the safest the door, still sealed shut and he was hoping it might still be cleared from his last trip.

Beth nodded and quickly moved to retrieve her bag, his arrow and crossbow; she picked up her knife last and stood over the strangled man, raising it high.

"Let 'em turn... they were dead anyway. Bastard deserves to suffer." Daryl said, which earned him a confused look, but Beth simply placed her knife in its sheath and helped Daryl out. He turned and closed the doors to the shop and followed him.


	11. Something of my own

"I'll clear it" Beth suggested as Daryl looked at the door.

"Don' need to" he answered as he saw the melted chocolate handprint from Michonne on the handle and the stick she'd leaned against the door still in place. "No one's been here since we were" he pointed to the stick.

Beth nodded and quickly opened the doors, Daryl hobbled in and quickly found a square foam target to sit on.

"'K lets clean this up." Beth smiled sweetly, which earned her a nod from Daryl. He didn't make way to move, so she prompted him. "Daryl, you're gonna have to take your shirt off."

He glared at her.

"Or, you know, bleed out here." Her light hearted comment didn't make him move a muscle. "Daryl?"

He shrugged his vest off and simply lifted his shirt up to the wound, not an inch higher, tucking it under his arm so it stayed there.

She frowned at him. "God, Daryl you're such a girl about it, even I'm sucking it up." She stated and that's when he realized she was basically wearing a sleeve and a bra, the rest of her shirt ripped off in the attack. _W__ow_, Beth was standing right in front of him, her milky white stomach not three inches from his face, no shirt on and she was...wow. He shook his head, what the hell was he thinking? He wasn't any better than those pieces of shit they left back at the pharmacy.

He bent down and passed her his vest. "Here, put this on." She took it and swung it over her shoulders; it buttoned up easily on her and she had room to spare. It felt so strange, not that she was wearing an item of clothing he had worn, that had become so normal in the prison;they'd drop their clothes off to be washed and they'd go down and find anything in their size to take. She'd worn the same poncho, the same jumpers, hell she'd probably even worn the same pair of socks. People tended to have their own belts and boots and wash their own underwear so that wasn't shared, but most every other item of clothing or blanket was shared. There were only two items in the whole prison that weren't shared, Carls hat, which come to think of it she had worn once, and Daryl's vest; wearing it now felt so strange, not wrong, just strange. She looked to his face, which was all screwed up "What are you smiling at?" He asked, bewildered.

She stumbled. "Nothing... sorry."She bent to the wound, what she could see of it anyway, "It's not black." She stated as she examined the blood leaking from the wound.

"Good, just a flesh wound then. Patch it up and let's get movin'." Daryl stated.

Beth pulled the remaining piece of her tattered shirt out and ripped it into a few long strips. It wasn't nearly enough to stop the bleeding, so she reached into her ladies' bag and pulled out two sanitary liners, which received a very unhappy look from Daryl. "They'll stop the bleeding." She answered in a tone that was almost sarcastic and she placed one over each wound and tied them on with her tattered shirt.

"Good." Daryl stood and dropped his shirt again. "Ready to go?" aside from the beads of sweat on his forehead he looked like he was good to run a marathon again. She knew she looked concerned, but didn't want to say anything."Ain't nothing, Beth." She still didn't move so he continued. "Look, I been through worse; hell, I shot myself with my own bow, after that horse of yours threw me, took a tumble of a cliff which broke 'em ribs, got chewed on by a walker and shot in the head, all on the same day mind you, and I'm fine, one bullet ain't gonna stop me."

She felt stupid for even suggesting that it would. "Was just thinking...since we're here and all, I want my own." She stated, a little because she did but mostly to mask her concern.

"What,a bullet?"

"My own bow...you know, just in case," She clarified.

"You'd be better off with a compound, you'd have a better time loadin' it." He sighed, like it was the most natural thing in the world; he didn't ask why she suddenly wanted one, he just got it.

"Compound?" She asked; he replied by pointing to a bow above the counter, soshe climbed upand pulled it down.

"'N some of them." Daryl pointed to some arrows as he reached under the counter for some new tips and bolts of his own. Beth presented him with a new quiver for them and he popped them in.

"C'mon." He nudged her, walking almost as if he hadn't just been shot, but the fact that he let her carry his bow and opted to take her much lighter one proved he wasn't invincible. He added to it when they passed the bags at the gas station and he lifted one, thenplaced it down opting for a lighter one, allowing her to carry both of the heavier ones.

Daryl wasn't even grunting; of course, she knew he would be sure didn't look fine, but she reminded herself that most of the blood sprayed over him was not his own, it was just the result of his brutal act;the one that so sickened her to her stomach, but had saved their lives. She wondered how she could've got herself together and used it to her advantage; she should've been shockedand horrified. It was normal to see the dead doing that, but she'd never seen anyone living so...feral… that's what he'd been like, some feral wild animal. She shook her head at that thought, had it been anyone else but Daryl doing that she'd have been terrified, would have thought they'd lost the plot, wouldn't feel safe to walk home with them, but it was Daryl and somehow she wasn't even disgusted by it. Maybe she even thought it meant something that he would do that; that no matter what he would find a way to survive, make her survive, and maybe that made it okay, made her okay. Rick always used to say we all change, maybe it's inevitable, maybe there's a bit of walker in everyone, even before you die, maybe they hadn't survived, maybe that's the price for life. She pushed that thought away and decided not to think about it again, which allowed her mind to wander, back to that bullet wound. Of course he'd been in worse situations, she remembers, she remembers him laughing about it, saying he didn't even know it was possible to shoot yourself with your own bow. She smiled at the memory; he was all gruff and mean back then and that was the only thing she'd heard him say that wasn't antagonistic and was more than a grunt or mumble, him and his bow, it made her smile. Thinking of bows, she was gonna be so badass with her bow; she'd just gotten herself in trouble and had to have Daryl rescue her again. He was so good at reading people, it was annoying, it made her feel stupid; she wondered if that's why he chose her instead of Judith, because he knew Carol had it in her and she didn't… or hadn't, not until today. Truth was, she'd only found it in her because it was Daryl's life at stake too. Didn't matter now though, because now she had a bow and she planned on learning how to use it. She could do it now, kill that is, she understood she was going to have to, Carol got that.

"I'm not gonna tell ya 'gain, Beth." Daryl's voice broke into her thoughts.

"What?" She asked as she readjusted one of the bags in her hand.

"You gonna be thinkin' like that and you gotta say it out loud." He answered.

She smiled, they'd been walking for twenty minutes in silence and he was cool with that, but as soon as she really started thinking he knew. He wasn't looking at her, so it couldn't even be that she had a thinking face or something, he just knew somehow. She had just figured he was quiet because he was trying not to show he was in pain, she hadn't thought he was listening to her silence.

"I was thinking, what does it mean, that it was Carol? I mean I'm sure you'd avenge them, Karen and David, but is it different because it's Carol? If you find her again...is that why you followed my tracks instead?" Beth questioned.

Daryl huffed, he had thought about that. "I dunno, I told Tyreese that if I found 'em I'd put a couple of bolts in them, but he's with her. Maybe he knows, 'n if he does, and he hasn't killed her for it... well then, that's up to him."

His answer was simple and honest and that's another thing Beth liked about Daryl, he didn't really beat around the bush, it was easy. She didn't reply, she didn't have to; once she would've, but enough time with Daryl and he rubs off on you, soshe was happy to just follow him back to the cabin in silence.

* * *

_**A/N reviews please?**_


	12. Just reading something

**A/N ****OK**** so I wasn't sure how they should react after the events, so this is Beth trying to talk it out, but eventually ignoring it, because I think when you live in such a violent world it would sort of all become a normal. That's what I think anyway.**

_**Also I went through and edited the chapters already posted, just because I've pretty much written thirty chapters in four days and I felt it was a bit sloppy, plus I'm a bit unsure where to take the story on chapter thirty so I'm re editing and fixing it up a bit :D**_

* * *

There hadn't been much to do in the past few days, the rain had kept them indoors, and it wasn't just that it was rain; it was thebone chillingcold. Beth was hoping it would at least snow, because that's a little less cold than this rain with the cold wind. She cleared her throat, it had been three days now, and she still hadn't broached the subject of Daryl's interesting new tactic; she had to though, she had to ask, "Why have we survived?" She frowned, that wasn't what she had planned on asking, but it was much the same anyway.

Daryl looked at her, his face not betraying a thought; what did she mean, the answer was obvious, wasn't it? Eventually he let out a deep breath and answered. "Because we know how to."

Beth fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "...Because we're willing to do things others wouldn't?...others couldn't?"

Daryl thought for a moment, he knew exactly what she was referring to now; it still sickened him, but she was alive and that counts for something. '"Mhm." He answered, which just didn't seem like enough. "Ya gotta be...willing."

She nodded, she understood that, still... she swallowed before asking. "Daryl...what made you do it? _H__ow'd_ you do it?"

He answered her gaze with his own for a long while chewing on his bottom lip, what was she thinking? Did she hate him now? If she did could he fix that? He shook his head. "'M jus' scared s'all." He was a bit surprised at that answer, but it was the truth, he only did it because he was afraid of losing her.

She nodded, that confession wasn't one she was expecting, or one she understood, so she pressed on. "How?"

His hand scrunched up the rag he'd been blowing his nose on all day and he realized how nervous he felt about answering a simple question. If he answered it wrong, maybe she'd hate him, but he decided to just answer with the truth. "It made me sick..." He shrugged, realizing she didn't know where he was at, so he started again, "It wa'nt my idea...saw Rick do it...I told ya 'bout those guys... 'n how they were huntin' Rick down." Beth nodded slightly. "Told ya we killed every last one of those no good pieces o' shit." Daryl risked looking at her and she didn't look afraid, she was just listening. "It wasn' 'cause they wanted to kill 'im, they had Carl…you know...like they had you…." Daryl was staring at his knees now not willing to look up. He took in a deep, shaky breath and continued; maybe he wanted to talk out his horror, maybe he knew she'd keep asking until he did, either way he continued. "Well, I had two guys on me, jus' beatin' me, Michonne had a gun on her... Carl had a piece of shit on him and Rick had a guy on him, you know they were all armed, and caught 'em by surprise. Anyway, I was doin' all I could, ya know, but I couldn't even get in a punch, couldn't even get off the ground. Jus' wan'ed to get to Carl, had to stop 'em, I just couldn' let 'em... I'd die tryna stop 'em doin' that." Beth saw something more than just the hate for what they were doing, something worse, an echo of some other memory maybe, she dropped her head unable to cope with that thought. He continued. "They were jus' comin' in too hard 'n fast at me, I was a meter away 'n couldn't stop 'em...then I heard it, won't never forget the sound...and I saw the guy fallin' down, blood sprayin' everywhere, like a soda can that popped, and Rick...he turned around 'n looked at us, 'n spat out the guy's throat. I thought for a second maybe he'd turned...then I knew he had, jus' not like that. Michonne acted first and that was enough to make me, I beat those blokes' faces in...stomped on 'em like they was already dead, ain't done that before... not like that... but Carl" Daryl stopped because his voice was shaking and he wasn't going to cry in front of Beth again, no matter how much he wanted to. "Then Rick looked at the guy that had Carl and that was enough, the guy knew he was dyin' and Rick just...mutilated him. It made me sick, seein' that, I couldn' breathe, or think, ya know, I just threw up like sum' pussy arsed girl." Daryl wiped his face as if he was wiping the feeling away, then he looked at Beth and explained. "I wasn't gonna get us out... and I was thinkin' how I'd do anything to stop that...I thought of Rick, 'n how it shocked 'em all, and then I knew I had to do it... couldn't let that happen to ya...there's nothin' I wouldn't do." He held her gaze for a moment before itdropped it back to his lap. "Just like Rick couldn't let that happen to Carl...wouldn't let it happen to any one of ya... had ta try somefin." Daryl sniffled and Beth suspected it was for more than his cold.

She looked up from her knees to him, wanted to say thank you, but sometimes she thought Daryl just got it, that she didn't have to thank him when he already knew, like somehow saying it would cheapen it or something. She leaned forward and closed the gap between him on the couch and her seat on the coffee table and pressed her lips to his temple;sometimes doing was worth more than saying, that's what her mom always said and she hoped he understood. He didn't tense up this time like he usually did whenever she tried to do something kind, it almost felt like he leaned into it a took a deep breath and continued with her next line of thought. "You think we turn...you know, before we die?"

Daryl just narrowed his eyes in confusion, at both the incredibly tender action and her question; they left his mind reeling, how had he not pulled away? He squeezed his eyes shut for a second and concentrated on her question, he knew he'd said it about Rick, but didn't know if he meant it. So, she explained, "Remember Michonne, how she could walk with them, right in among them and they didn't know? Remember what she was like then... like she was dead?"

Daryl shrugged. "Yeah, you wonderin' if we get to come back?"

"Is there any difference between us and the walkers when we...go there?"

"You callin' me a walker?" Daryl's voice cracked, which made Beth feel regret for her words, that's not how she'd meant them... but it was.

Beth shook her head. "I know we do... you did, Rick, Michonne, even Merle...and Carl, Glenn...and you are now. We do get to come back...but just, you think for that moment...you think that's why Michonne could just be with them?"

Daryl shrugged, it didn't really matter, it was irrelevant, but the weight of her words hurt to an extent. He knew she was right though. He wiped at his face again, of course that's how she saw him, some cold dead corpse; that's how she'd always see him. "You think Merle got to?" He questioned.

Beth shrugged. "He tried to... that was good enough, and he was your brother; he couldn't have been all bad...that's why he did it, you know." which earned a confused look from Daryl. "Because he loved you."

"Yeah, well he sure as he'll ain't never told me; never did nothin' but leave me." Daryl grumbled.

Beth shook her head. "That's not true, Daryl...and in the end, he made it right, he came back, and he did it because he loved you, because he could see it, and wanted to be a part of it and there's no better reason." She assured him.

Daryl took to chewing on his lip again and fiddling with his snot rag. "It?" he was unsure if he wanted an explanation, only he did, because she had him muddled completely now.

"You, what you've become...what you've always been, just he'd never seen it." Daryl looked at her asking the silent question _what am I?_ and Beth let the smallest of smiles play on her lips "You're a good man Daryl; he wanted to be a part of that." She replied.

If anyone else had said it he wouldn't believe them, not now, not after today, maybe back at the prison, but not now, but Beth said it with such conviction that all he could think is how much she sounded like Hershel; which was funny, because in Daryl's opinion it was Hershel who made them good, any of them, he gave them their humanity, and in memory of that old man he could agree, that could sit okay with him. "Mhm." He wasn't sure if he was agreeing that he was good, or just that he was trying to be, but either way he felt it. She had meant it too and that was amazing in itself; only that was probably worse than her being disgusted by him.

"Do you think it will snow?" Beth asked, trying to redirect the conversation to a less serious note.

Daryl shrugged, relieved at the change in conversation "Dun' know" It was a short answer, but Beth was used to them, it didn't mean he was annoyed or uninterested it was just him. "Colder than it's ever been."

"Do you think a cold winter would kill them off?" Beth asked and realized that he looked confused. "The brain? Do you think it would freeze and die?"

Daryl was momentarily distracted by her utterly confounding beauty, her body so small, but her heart so large, a frown that was so at odds with her smile, so childlike, but yet also womanlike, so sweet, yet so sure, so hopeful yet so accepting; it was unlike anything he had ever seen, she was so unlike anything he'd ever seen. He ripped his thoughts away from that and back to her question. "M-m...their brain doesn't die 'til it's in pieces... I've seen 'm trapped under water, no oxygen, innards ripped out, no heart for blood, I don't think freezin' would work, think if it did they'd come back when it gets warm." Daryl explained.

Beth got up and poured the tea as she noticed it was boiling. It was nice to have such a luxury as tea, not that they didn't have it at the prison, but it was nice now, to enjoy when they had so little.

"Any pie left?" Daryl asked from his spot on the couch. He hadn't really moved all day, but Beth didn't say anything seeing as he was so sick, his nose was dripping like a tap and he'd mentioned his throat was sore, his voice was scratchier than normal too. At first she had panicked, remembering the illness that swept through the prison, but Daryl assured her it was a common cold. "A little bit." She answered, moving to cut him a slice and bringing it to him with a spoon and his tea.

He didn't smile, just twitched his lips in that way that he did to let her know he was happy with it.

He took it and shovelled a mouthful in before wincing as he swallowed, placed the plate on the table, apparently deciding it was too painful.

"You okay?" Beth asked as she sat by him, her butt pressed against his hip on the narrow couch, her arm propped up on his bent up knees. There wasn't really room for both of them on the couch unless he turned around and stuck his legs down, but she didn't look like she intended to stay there so he didn't move.

"Mhm, jus' m' throat's sore 's all." He answered, and she felt a little too sorry for him; he tried to move a little and winced again, his hand shifting to his bullet wound instinctively. Beth's eyes followed his hand and she wondered if it was okay, he understood her question and he shrugged a little. "Just a little infected, I'll scrape it out and cauterize it tonight." He explained.

"You know you could just let me take a look at it." She suggested, but he didn't answer just went back to staring out the crack of the window.

"Haven't seen a single walker in days," She said "Not even by the creek."

"Reckon the cold might knock 'em out?" He knew he'd decided it wouldn't but maybe it would momentarily freeze them. "...the last few I saw were pretty slow...were last year too." He admitted.

"Do you think they do?" She questioned thoughtfully. She looked to Daryl who was just staring at her. "Suffer?" She clarified, she hadn't meant to turn the conversation serious again, but she did.

"Only you would care about that." He answered.

"You're the one that said it." He looked confused. "You know back at the pharmacy, you said, let them turn, they deserve to suffer." She reminded him.

He shrugged. "Just been hanging around you too much, said it for the point of saying it."

Beth looked squarely at him now. "Then why don't we let our own turn, I mean does it really matter if they don't suffer?"

"Jus' don' need more walkers is all."

Beth frowned, "Is that all?"

Daryl blew his nose on the rag he held before answering. "I dunno, Beth, they ain't alive."

She sighed heavily. "No...but they're something."

He did a Daryl version of rolling his eyes which to most people was almost unnoticeable, but Beth noticed it. "You sound like Lizzie." He commented.

Beth shook her head. "I don't think they have feelings, or think they can be trained or anything, I just mean somewhere in them do you think anything remains?"

Daryl huffed. "Michonne was telling me about some crazy ass ole' man she met, the one who helped Rick get out, before the camp. When Rick was stayin' with him he found out that his wife had turned, but she kept comin' back to the house, try 'na get in. Why her... why that house? I dun' know, maybe there is somethin' left, but I dun' wanna find out."

"Just an echo, it's not there...but it was, that's something." Beth sounded sad and that concerned Daryl a great deal.

"What?" It sounded a little too gruff and he was going to retract it but she answered anyway.

"Do you think Daddy's…?"

He cut her off before she could get it out. "Nah." Which earned him a sharp look; she was wondering how he could be so sure. "Michonne said she...you know."

Beth smiled a little, glad that if they did suffer, he wasn't. "He always wanted to die on the farm...he used to say, 'This farm's been in my family for as long as I can remember, nine generations, and I'll live on it and I'll die on it, and when I do I'll be buried on it so I can return to the ground in it.'" Beth smiled. "I used to think it didn't matter, but now... I wished I could have taken him there." Beth sighed.

Daryl wanted to say something, but decided there wasn't really anything to say so he just stared at her a while. Eventually she smiled a short huff of a smile and retrieved her own tea and sat by the fire and began reading her book. Daryl watched her for a while, silent and still only moving to sip her tea or turn a page. He couldn't see the title of the book but it had a picture of two people hugging on a cliff top and he got to thinking where she got it and what it was about. "What ya readin'?" Beth turned to him with an instant blush on her face, which made him want to tease her. He'd guessed what kind of book it was, but hadn't said anything. "Wanna read it out loud?" He teased, although his face didn't betray him.

"You wouldn't like it." She answered.

"Mhm, how you know what I like?" He was trying so hard to keep a straight face about it.

Beth shrugged. "It's a girly book."

Determined not to be deterred he pressed forward. "Not like there's alot of options, why don' you go ahead and read to me?"

Beth's entire face was crimson as she wiggled in her spot.

She sighed. "It's not really appropriate." She answered, looking a little ashamed.

"Then why you readin' it?" The question was simple but it made her uncomfortable.

"Not like there's alot of options." She repeated back to him.

Daryl looked her straight in the eye now which just made her more embarrassed. "Gah' head, it'll be fun."

"Daryl, I'm not reading you a sexy book." She said flatly.

"Then stop reading and talk to me 'stead." He challenged.

Beth looked down to the book and sighed.

Daryl's sick, croaky voice was laced with amusement now. "That good huh?" Her eyes shot to his looking more than a little surprised "Well, Beth now you've got to share with me!" He smirked, actually smirked, she couldn't believe it; he raised an eyebrow at her to encourage her along. "It's just sex, ain't sumfin' ya gotta be embarrassed 'bout."

She thought that was something rather funny coming from him, he who shied away from everything, apparently he was okay with sex books. "Fine, but don't you laugh at me." She snapped.

"Mhm." Was his only answer as she stared reading. It wasn't that he really wanted her to read that book, or that he wanted to tease her, it was more that he just wanted to hear her voice, which was beautiful and melodic; that and he was bored out of his brain. He laid his head back one hand behind it, supporting it, the other arm resting on his chest and he listened and it was beautiful! It was just a moment, but in it he could pretend that it was all going to be okay.

* * *

**A/N well there you go, yes I'm actually going to say this, if you want an update to find out where this awkward situation is going with the innocent Beth and suddenly playful Daryl, then I'm going to need a review, not gonna update till I get one :D I'm aware that that's pretty cheeky of me, but c'mon guys I review all the story's I enjoy. :D**


	13. I caught something

Beth cracked the door open and the slight, almost unsure movement made Daryl look up cautiously as he reached for his knife, relaxing when he saw her face poke through with a wide smile."What?" It was a quiet question, not betraying any of the humor that he felt looking at her beaming face peering in.

She disappeared for a moment before stepping in, wielding his crossbow on her back and held a rabbit up. "Got dinner!" She said proudly.

"Hm." Was his reply. He was a little surprised, sure she said she was going to get something for dinner and had asked him to load the bow, but he really didn't think she could get something with the single shot. "Here?" He held out his hand and she quickly crossed and dropped the rabbit in his hand. He took it turning it over and was a little impressed to see the clean shot through the shoulder. "Good shot."

Beth bounced slightly on her feet. "I know...gonna give it back? I gotta clean it up...unless you want to eat it like that?" She smiled. Daryl didn't move, so she reached forward and carefully took it, crossing to the sink and pulling her knife from her waist before slicing the rabbit down its stomach, removing the innards and slopping them in a bowl.

She paused as she realized Daryl had crossed the room also and was looking over her shoulder. "Bit messy." He commented, only saying it because he was quite impressed and thought she needed to be taken down a peg or two.

Beth shrugged. "It's not too bad...for the first one on my own." She answered as she pulled the skin off. She turned it over in her hand and rubbed her hand over the soft fur, then she noticed how clean that hand still was, the other was messy from the innards, but this one was clean, just like he had told her it should be after skinning. She looked to Daryl who was poking the innards, inspecting them carefully. "Didn't nick them at all!" She commented as she held her hand over the bowl, now forcing him to focus on it as further proof of her competence.

Daryl let the smallest of smiles play on his lips as she chopped the head off with a crunch as the blade separated the bone. He slapped her hand away playfully. "Show off."

She shrugged. "Ain't nothin'." She smiled a little too broadly. "Seems a shame, though." He looked at her asking what she had meant. "To waste it." She answered looking to the skin again. "Just so pretty." She smiled.

Daryl grumbled in the way that he did whenever she did something equally stupid, but then he looked at her and he thought he would burst with admiration as she skewered the meat. "Why don' ya keep it?" She looked to him with a question on her face. He shrugged. "Make OneEye a jacket or sumfin."

She looked to the dog with a wide smile as she put the innards down for him to pick through. "I'll have to catch a few more." She answered, crossing to put the rabbit on the fire. She returned, washed her hands and retrieved some canned jumped a little as she felt Daryl'sfingers grasping her elbow; it wasn't uncomfortable, just that she hadn't expected it.

She looked to her arm and noticed the blood splatter on it. "Run into trouble?" He questioned and Beth smiled at the worry playing in his eyes.

She shrugged. "Just two of them, no stress." She shrugged taking the vegetables to the fire to warm them.

Daryl knew he was staring, but regardless of Beth's sideway uncomfortable glances, he didn't want to look away. Hecouldn't look away, because he felt in this moment he was witnessing something that he hadn't seen before, that the world hadn't seen before; he was looking, not at a sweet and gentle girl who was afraid of this world, he wasn't looking at a dead girl anymore. He was looking at her and shewas so strong, so competent; able to catch and prepare her own food, protect herself from walkers...and people. She was right when she said pretty soon she wasn't going to need him; that time had come, looking at her now, she didn't need him, or anyone. She was amazing. "Daryl!" Her voice warning, shocked him back to reality, he raised his eyebrows.

"You're staring." She stated, and then her face softened. "What are you thinking about?"

He wiped his chin, while placing his hand over his chest which was mysteriously thudding again. "Jus' thinkin'...ya were right." She didn't reply, just crinkled her eyebrows; he shrugged in response. "Ya don' need me anymore."

She shook her head. "I never said that."

"Mhm...when I was teachin' ya to shoot, ya know right b'fore ya did your foot in." He reminded her.

"Ohh." She shook her head; she forgot sometimes how much he thought about each word; there was no speaking for the point of it when you were with Daryl. "I didn't mean it."

Daryl sat on the wooden chair by him, his wound beginning to ache a little again. "'S true though."

Beth felt something like sadness flick in her; he was probably right she really could look after herself now, he had taught her so well, and when she thought about it, it was something more than that, she wasn't even afraid when she saw the walkers, she just acted. She still needed him, though, she'd always need him; he taught her to survive, sure, but how was she supposed to live without him, without the friendship that had grown between them? "It's not,Daryl." She reaffirmed, and she saw something like a smile.

She shrugged before changing the direction of the conversation. "Is it okay if it's easy?" She asked, receiving a strange look. "Killing them...the walkers?" She asked...then she clarified, not because she hadn't said what she thought but because she realized she meant more. "The people." It wasn't the same question she had asked the other day, but it was so similar that he knew it was playing on her mind.

Daryl shrugged a little,"I don't know..."

"Was it always for you?" She questioned, not looking at him.

"Killing people?...nah." He wondered what she meant but decided to answer honestly anyway. "Been hunting my whole life, ya know; huntin' ta live, huntin' animals. When the first walker came at me I saw it, they weren't no different to a starving, rabid dog, it was easy ta shoot, wasn't easy to look at it, the human-like thing layin' there, but then I realized they ain't human. Then, you know, first time I had to shoot the living...was 'cause they weren't no better than the walkers. That's the only reason I've shot the living...that's not hard." He paused for a moment, realizing she was looking at him and he felt a little ashamed. "Then, it's because I gotta,' n sometimes I don't wanna."

Beth nodded, she got it, she understood; she let her tongue dart out licking her bottom lip, a little nervous as she continued. "Is it okay if you're not sorry? If you don't feel when you do it?"

And he understood, he understood more than what she was saying; that she was different now, that she had changed, and when she caught his eye he felt a surge of something, because he had played a hand in it, and he was here to witness it, and that was special. It was special that she shared that moment with him; that meant something. He couldn't answer that for her, though, because while his answer was 'yes it's okay, it has to be,' that was the defining difference between them and he wanted more than anything for that not to change, although he knew it had to, so he used words that a wise old man had told him once, "You don't get to feel." She smiled lightly, recognizing her father's words.

He nodded back to the sink. "C'mon, I'll teach ya how to tan that rabbit."


	14. He's got sumthin'

**A/N here's a fluff chapter enjoy :D**

* * *

Daryl was surprised how well he had settled into the domestic life; that guy sure had been wrong, telling him he was an outdoor cat. The more he thought about it, he knew his situation had been sad, but he wasn't an outdoor cat thinking he was an indoor cat, he was probably an indoor cat thinking he was an outdoor cat. That small change in words made the world of difference; it was equally as tragic though, yet not something he wanted to change. He smiled inwardly, it made a huge difference. He crossed and took the stew of the fire and brought it to the sink. Since he had cleaned and cauterised the wound he was able to go like normal again, every now and then there was a tinge of pain, but it was bearable, it had only been a week, but still it was healing fine. Beth's ridiculous reenactments got his attention; she was reading while he prepared dinner; she was nearly a quarter of the way through that ridiculous book. He turned to her and leaned against the cupboard, one arm across his chest and the other hand raised to his beard, rubbing it slightly as he stared at Beth.

"Oooh more, deeper...ahhh!" She read plainly, in a way that actually made it more embarrassing than if she actually read it properly. "Oh, John, harder, Emily let out a mew of pleasure as he..." She stopped, feeling Daryl's eyes on her; she looked up and felt her face flush red. "What?"

"What?" He mimicked.

She shifted in her seat. "You're staring at me." Her eyes shifted around the room but his stayed on her; clearly he wasn't planning on changing his line of vision. "It's embarrassing." She admitted.

Daryl shook his head. "What's embarrassing is how you're reading that thing; they ain't no damn walkers." He answered.

"I know," She felt stupid and a little confused by the comment.

"Well you sure as hell sound like one." He answered.

She folded the book shut, her finger keeping the page. "Well, I don't know what they're meant to sound like."

Daryl scoffed and turned back to the stew, adding in a few more bits. "Can't ya draw from experience or something? 'Cause in my head, I got these two people gettn' all down n' dirty by the ocean, and accordin' to ya readin' a couple o' walkers just showed up and it ain't so romantic now."

"I can't!" She answered flatly.

"What? Can't imagine the walkers, just listen to yourself, it ain't that far of a stretch." His voice was laced with amusement.

She would have been annoyed if anyone else teased her, but it was Daryl so she just answered honestly. "I can't draw from experience, don't really know what I'm s'posed to be making it sound like."

Daryl stilled his stirring for a minute, realizing what she had just confessed, then shrugged. Once he would've been embarrassed to say anything, hell, he wouldn't've said anything to anyone else, but Beth and he were just so damn comfortable that they could, it was easy. "Hmm, just thought you n' Zach..."

"Well, we didn't." She answered a little too flatly, before deciding to elaborate, purely because she didn't want to sound stiff about it. "I just wasn't ready for that... I mean, I think I just went out with him because I was bored...I know that's awful, I did like him, just…."

Daryl cut her off, understanding immediately and honestly not wanting that much information. "Ain't awful, jus' nice to have sum'n like ya. Just you two read like a damn romance novel, I jus' figured… whatever... read it like a walker if ya want." He continued spooning the stew into their bowls, feeling a little like a bully.

Suddenly he felt the book slapped against his arm and she was looking up at him sweetly. "Why don't you just read it then, huh? You with all your worldly experience." She challenged. He wasn't usually one to back down from a challenge but, this was a little unexpected.

"Nah, wouldn't be right..." He stated, receiving a lift of her eyebrows. "Wouldn't wanna go and wreck your innocence now" He added.

She didn't shy away, "Go ahead, you might teach me something." She answered as she took the ladle from his hand and replaced it with the book. "I can do this and you can do that."

He smirked at her; he hadn't really had someone call his bluff before and he wasn't ashamed to admit he liked it a little. "Not really something I should be teachin' ya." He stated flatly. He thought maybe it was more a statement to himself than to her, and she picked up on it by the way she looked at him.

She shrugged, seemingly losing all of the awkwardness. "Doesn't really matter, you taught me 'bout everything else since I can remember."

He would've thought that was an invitation if he didn't know her so well, only he did. "Hm?" He asked involuntarily, because he knew she wasn't thinking what it sounded like she was saying.

"You know... you taught me how to shoot straight, balance myself, with a gun and a cross bow, taught me how to settle Judith, how to change a diaper... how to care for someone like that." Because when Beth thought about it, she had always cared about people, but never for someone. She was the baby of the family and she had never had to until Judith "How to cook small and fluffys, and use a knife, for both filleting a squirrel and stabbing a walker, taught me how to track... just sayin'." And then she realised what she was saying, and it crossed her mind that she wouldn't mind if Daryl taught her that too, but it's not how she meant it. "Not that I meant..."

He cut her off. "That's teachin' you to survive Beth, ya know plenty bout livin'…you can figure it out ya'self one day." He wasn't being mean about it, just reminding them both of the obvious and she got that.

She smiled at him, "Yeah, if there are any boys left. Maybe I'll have to take a walker, at least I know the right sounds for that." She smiled as she handed him a plate. He took it gratefully with a pleasant grunt as he dropped the book to the sink and tickled her ribs, just enough for her to smile but not laugh. Her resulting wonky walk had him stifling a chuckle that just came out as another amused grunt.

"Oh,Mister Dixon, is that the voice I use?" She smiled back at him.

"Eat up." He commanded.

* * *

Dark set in earlier and earlier now, they'd barely finished eating and it was black outside. Beth washed the dishes, while Daryl fed the dog. Beth made them a warm drink and Daryl stoked the fire for the final time that night, and as they stood over the sink sipping their tea Beth couldn't help feeling that this felt the most like home since the prison. She had said as much and receive a disgruntled noise from Daryl that sort of said maybe he thought so too. They straightened up a little; Beth puffed the pillows on the couch for the dog, Daryl moved his crossbow from by the door to by the bed, just in case.

"You know you've got to teach me to use mine." Beth said, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Mhm." He answered.

"Is it the same?" She questioned.

"M-m...easier, I guess."

She looked quizzically at him,"Why don't you use one then?"

He shrugged. "Used to mine." He decided, which was apparently a good enough answer because she went back to wiping down the kitchen sink.

Daryl picked their book off the table and took it to her bedside cupboard. He hadn't opened that drawer before, it had been claimed as her own, but when he did he was a little surprised to see the gift for Hershel. He picked it up and held it in his hand for a moment; he'd completely forgotten about it since everything went down and she hadn't mentioned it. Beth turned to say something, but saw the look on Daryl's face; he looked over at her with an almost frown.

"Why you keepin' this...in here?" He asked, with no reply he realized he was again being too harsh so he continued "Could'a eaten it, put the seeds out."

Beth looked to the offending Big Cat on his night stand; it wasn't about eating it, otherwise one of them would've eaten the Big Cat.

"Because." Beth smiled; Daryl looked at her with a frown as she crossed to him. "Because it was so nice, of you both, of you, 'cause that whole time you kept telling me surprise birthday parties were stupid. Even if Michonne had to rope you into it, it's nice that you got him a present; that means something to me" she smiled as she took the bundle.

"Ain't mean nothin', she jus' put my name on it is all."

Beth shook her head. "Michonne would've just got any seeds, you got the right ones for the right time of year." She called him on it.

"Just wanted to shut you up is all." He answered gruffly.

"It means a lot to me, Daryl." Beth pushed up and kissed his cheek softly. "It means a lot." She answered, and the feel of her so close to him, so intimate, so what?...grateful?, set his pulse on fire, he wanted to grab her, pull her into him and crush his lips against hers, but he couldn't; he knew that. She was still staring at him, though, and the distance would've been so short, and she was smiling sweetly, looking up at him with all the trust in the world. He raised his hand to her neck, and pulled her gently, she hesitated at first but then she leaned forward, and he wrapped his arm around her and just held her, it was gentle and kind, he didn't know why he felt the urge to do it, maybe it was to stop himself from doing more, but whatever the reason it felt right.

Beth was surprised;Daryl had never done something like this before, never showed affection to anyone like this, except Judith, he was different with her; sure, he'd patted her on the back, carried her around, even held her hand. Night-time was different;he seemed to touch her constantly then, but she figured he was just reaffirming she was safe, while he didn't have his eyes open to see that, even then though something was guarded about it. Still, he'd never held her like this, like he wanted to hold onto something. Beth decided she liked it very much, she wanted it, needed it; as though being here in his arms was her most favorite place in the world, like she felt safe, she wrapped her arms around his waist, careful not to hurt him and held on. Of course it was Daryl, so it didn't last long.

He'd never expected her to really hug him back, not like that; he didn't know what he expected, if he expected anything… didn't know he was going to do it, he supposed. When she responded, he realized he liked it a lot more than he should. He knew it wasn't that it was Beth that made him feel this way, that he just needed something and being in this situation day after day with a beautiful girl, which was the part he had to keep reminding himself of, she was just a girl; anyway, it got his feelings all torn up, it was stupid, but he was only human, for now anyway.

He knew that wasn't true, that it _was_ Beth and he'd quit looking at her as a girl a long time ago, but if that was the lie he had to tell himself, he would. He took a deep breath and realized as he did that her head had brought itself to rest on his chest, right about where his heart was;she would have to be hearing how it was pounding around in his chest. With that thought he pushed her back, but she didn't really move, just looked up at him, and it occurred to him that the way she looked at him, no one had really looked at him like that before. She wasn't just looking _at_ him, she was looking_ into_ him, taking in everything, and he knew exactly what that meant, because that's how he had been looking at her. His eyes drifted down to her lips, and he felt his fingers prickle;it was then that he realized neither one of them had actually let go of each other. He forced his eyes back to hers and caught her mimicking the action, he shook his head slightly, enough was enough; he cleared his throat and looked away, anywhere but at her. His eyes droppeddown to the drawer, withwhich he busied himself; repacking the book and gift, only now it wouldn't shut, so he pulled the package out and turned the gift sideways and it still wouldn't shut, something was catching. He reached his hand in with a grunt and pulled the offending item out, huffing something like a laugh.

"Thank you." Beth smiled as she snatched them.

"Yours?" He teased as she took the pink, fluffy handcuffs.

She frowned. "No, they were there already." She answered as she crossed to the bin.

"Ya ain't gonna throw 'em out, are ya?" He asked, she nodded, "Don't..." She looked quizzically at him. "Well, we might wanna use them one day." He answered.

"Really, Daryl? Wow, okay, you can have 'em." She tossed them back to him. "Not my thing, but each to their own."

He actually blushed, realizing her thoughts. "Nah." He shifted a little. "I meant, do they have a key? They might come in handy...y' know without the fluff."

Beth smiled. "Oh, um yeah, key's in there."

He threw the cuffs back in the drawer and everything settled to fit this time, so he closed it up and crossed to his side of the bed, climbing in he watched Beth as she blew out the candle on the kitchen bench and crossed to the wardrobe, bringing the candle from the table and placing it on her bedside. She reached in for pajamas, which consisted in her world of all too short shorts and little singlet tops; she was funny like that. He slept in whatever he wore as long as it didn't have walker bits on it, she liked being all civilized though and changed into pajamas; he supposed it made her feel normal. "Daryl" her voice broke his musing.

"Hmm?" he answered, lolling his head on his arm to look at her.

"Just, um, the bathroom's so cold at night time; do you mind rolling over so I can get dressed here?" He didn't bother replying, just left one hand behind his head and the other resting on his chest. "Well, I ain't gonna do a show for ya' she statedand he realized he hadn't moved. He reached across and grabbed her pillow dropping it on his face, replacing his arm on his chest as if he hadn't moved.

Beth smiled to herself; a few weeks, even days ago, she wouldn't have even considered getting dressed anywhere near him, but this was Daryl and she was so comfortable with him and he with her, slowly letting his guard drop. She had been so shocked when he hugged her earlier, not just because he did, but because of the tenderness with which he did it, and then she had been sure he was going to kiss her, which she really wouldn't have minded; that thought was strange to her, thinking about Daryl like that at all. When she first met him she was sixteen and he was,what, thirty?Almost old enough to be her father, only her actual father had had her late in life, so not nearly as old as her father, but old enough. Also,he was so guarded, at times just plain rude, a little aggressive, not someone she wouldeven haveconsidered being friends with, let alone someone she could ever imagine being... this when she thought about it, it had always been there; respect, respect for the way he looked for Sophia; hurt, because he looked just as sad as her when he saw her walk out of the barn; trust that he'd keep them all safe; and, when she thought about it, friendship. She remembers back on the road, he was sitting on the porch taking guard one night and she had had an argument with Maggie over something stupid, she can't even remember what it was, but she had walked off and found herself on the porch. It felt strange at the time as she crossed and sat by him, close enough that she'd be safe if a walker came by, but far enough to feel alone. He had just looked at her and puffed his cigarette and mumbled. "'K?" she had nodded, and he just left it, didn't have to ask what happened, just got it, and a few minutes later he'd added. "It'll pass," which was exactly what she'd needed to hear, and that was it. She had felt it then, the first few tendrils of friendship. It was Judith who really built it up though, he'd often to come and visit Lil'Asskicker, as he so tenderly called her and he'd actually talk to Beth; at first it was just about Judith, but it soon became more. He'd close up when others were within earshot, but just every now and then it seemed like he wanted her friendship, like he needed it; there was a time or two he came just to talk to her, when she didn't have Judith, it was strange, but a nice was awkward that first evening that she climbed up the watch tower with an unsettled Judith in hand and just sat there, talking all night; she smiled when she thought back at the look on Glenn's face when he came up there. She had awakened instantly at the sound of the trap door, realizingthat she had been leaning on Daryl in her sleep; she didn't understand the amusement on Glenn's face then, because there was something more than amusement, there was an understanding and a subtle reverence. She had no idea what that meant then, but maybe she did now. Did he know something she didn't all the way back then? It would've been amazing that he didn't tell...then she thought maybe he did, because it was around then that Hershel would take Daryl for walks along the perimeter; Maggie started looking at Daryl with some sort of annoyance that Beth had, at the time, only figured that Daryl had done something jerkish to receive… maybe they knew? Did Daryl know back then? She sure didn't, does he know now? She's actually not sure what she knows now, but it's something.

"How much longer ya gonna be?" The muffled voice came from under the pillow; Beth jumped a little realising she'd been dressed for a while and just lost in thought. She leaned forward,took the pillow from his face and slipped under the blankets as she blew out the candle beside her bed.

"Ya okay?"

She squeezed her pillow nervously, "Yeah, was just thinking."

She thought he was going to leave it at that because it seemed like an eternity before he answered. "'Bout what?"

"Just remembering when we were on the road."

"Hm"Daryl looked at her back; he supposed it wouldn't be long before she fell asleep, rolled over and flopped her arm over him. Damn girl had to sleep like a starfish, take up the whole damn bed, but still it was more comfortable than the floor and truth be told he liked how she always ended up with her hand on his heart...her heart. He wasn't kidding himself, he knew exactly what he wanted, had never really been more sure of anything in his life, he just also knew that she was just a kid and it wasn't okay and if Hershel, god rest his soul, had ever found out, well, he might have just be taken out by a one legged old man. Daryl knew it, he knew it before they left the prison, before that week together by the graveyard, he knew it a long time ago, right back on the road; they were clearing a house, Rick said the house was clearand he'd done upstairs while Daryl took downstairs and Glenn did the perimeter. Daryl was across from the room washing his hand, where he'd managed to cut it with his own damn knife taking out a walker. That's when he'd heard her scream and he'd run in to find three of them; Rick must've missed a room. He got the first one in the head while the other two had backed her up to a wall; he'dstabbed another from behind and got his knife stuck, so without a weapon, he put his hand over her arm where the walker was about to sink his teeth in, so that it might get him instead of her. Of course Rick had come in and shot it, but that's when he knew their little silent moments where they just sat, the few conversations, her serving him just the smallest amount more food than the others, was more than just some strange friendship; he'd die for her and he wouldn't even think about it. He didn't know what that was back then, didn't know it would turn into wanting her like this, but it was the beginning...it was something.

She finally did it, rolled over and placed her hand on his heart with a heavy thud; it actually made that pain subside a little, it had been getting worse and worse, but now with her hand on it, it dulled down to something he could hardly feel, and he knew it was wrong but it felt so right. He spared a look at her, she didn't look like an angel, not like the chick in that book. He didn't think she looked gorgeous sleeping, he wasn't captivated by it, wasn't compelled to sneak a kiss while her eyes were shut; no this wasn't a romance book and he knew he'd never have her like that anyway, but he had her like this. Her all droopy-faced, messed hair, slightest of snores with each breath, and her hand on her heart, the one he had given her a long time ago, he found his hand covering hers, like he wanted some sort of affirmation that it was real, and it was.

He let out a smile, because he had...something.

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**Thankyou for all your reviews, faves and Allerts, really makes it worth posting!**


	15. Sumfin' in her aim

"You're doin' it all wrong," He said with a sniffle that made him just comical.

"I'm doing what you told me." She answered.

"Yah ain't."

She furrowed her brow and went to retrieve her arrow.

She placed it in and tried to pull the string; Daryl clearly found it amusing because he didn't complain, but his stern look didn't give much away. Beth struggled, the bow wobbling as she only got it half way back and gave up. "It is just as hard as the crossbow." She complained.

Daryl looked to his cross bow. "Y'd never cock that."

She frowned and tried again. Daryl was sick of it and took it from her hands. "Now watch." As he pulled the string back with ease, releasing the arrow and letting it hit the dead center of the target. He passed it back to Beth "Do it without the arrow." He suggested and she tried to copy his movements, but the bow just wobbled under the pressure of her using all her strength.

"I'm not strong enough, Daryl."

"Then get strong enough." He stated before shaking his head and stepping in behind her. "Compounds aren't 'bout strength, see here n' here." He pointed to the large oblong wheels. "Once you get past that point, t's easy." He placed one hand over the one she held the bow in and stepped in behind her back, wrapping his hand around her and winding his fingers in-between hers so they sat comfortably on the string ."Like this."

Beth's heart beat a little faster as he whispered into her ear, but she was determined to stay focused. "Feel it,'k." He stated as he brought the bow to face the ground and pulled the string half way. He bumped her shoulder with his chestlocking it into place, then brought the bow up with the other hand and bumped her elbow locking that in also, then he released a little tension on the string. "See." He said pulling it back and forth with ease. "Now ya' aim." He lined it up as if there was an arrow in it and shot for the target.

Beth couldn't help the smile; she was sure she had it now, she tilted her head to the side to look at him, because although he'd released the string he hadn't untangled his fingers from hers and the warm feeling of his heart thudding on her back had her thinking of anything but the bow. He was doing that again too, that looking between her eyes and lips, she knew what it meant; it was the same thing Zach did before he kissed her, only Daryl wouldn't. She'd caught him doing it at least five times in the past few days but nothing happened; maybe she wasn't giving the right signals? She didn't know what else she should do, except what she was; other than launch at him herself, but she wasn't that sure...she was fairly sure,but not completely sure that he wanted to kiss her. Maybe he didn't, maybe he still thought she was useless and just a dead girl; maybe he wasn't interested, maybe that's why he hadn't just done it yet. He cleared his throat and stepped back scratching his nose. "Do it 'gain." He answered and she tried just like he'd showed her, facing it to the ground, dragging the string back, locking her shoulder, then bringing it up,locking the elbow, and she felt the tension on the string with plenty of give.

"I did it!" She smiled triumphantly.

"Gah' 'head." He nodded and she aimed her arrowless bow and let go of the string; she didn't have to say anything as she doubled over in pain.Daryl was by her side, taking the bow and placing his hand over hers, which was wrapped tightly around her arm. She was in so much pain she couldn't think, she just leaned into him trying not to scream in pain and bring every walker from here to Atlanta down on them.

He was chuckling, which she did not appreciate, but she also knew she wasn't dying and obviously it had been a pretty stupid mistake,but when she finally got it together she slapped him for it. He simply replied. "Forgot ta tell ya' ta twist ya' wrist so that string don't get ya." He answered as she finally pulled her hand back seeing the wide welt that had already turned blue.

"Ouch!" She winced;cit was quiet, but made his heart melt. He leaned down and kissed it; it wasn't anything romantic, just as he would've... had… done for Judith when she had bumped her head, but it was enough for him to recoil in disbelief at his actions. He stood and grabbed the bows.

"C'mon." He said as he made way for the cabin. Beth wasn't all too happy about it, but she stood and trudged along beside him. "Maybe you should just practice without an arrow 'til ya can get it without hurtin' ya'self." He stated. Beth nodded, she didn't think he was teasing, it was just an easy statement and she agreed.

"Must think I'm pretty stupid huh?" She replied, still rubbing her arm.

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at her. "M-m" he shifted a little. "Why'd you say that, Beth?"

She shrugged, passing him. "Just, you know, never seen your string get you."

How could she ever think he thought she was stupid? That was baffling to him. "Nah, wouldn't wanna; crossbow gets your fingers,can rip 'em straight off" she turned to smile at him. "But…uhh, 'fore my crossbow, string got me few times…hurts like hell." He answered, and Beth understood that he was saying it was normal; that everyone must do it when they're learning, which was good because it made her feel a little less useless.

Daryl was compassionate that night, making dinner once he saw how much the steam seemed to burn her blackened arm. She had pretty much just sat there while he cooked up a mix of peas and baby carrots with an egg and some powdered potato. He was serving it now, while she sat the table."Goin' hunting maybe day after 'morrow" He stated.

Beth looked a little concerned, but he shrugged it off. "Burnin' through food, Beth, town might not be safe; them fellas might 'ave friends. Need food for winter." He stated simply.

"I know." She nodded.

"'S'okay you'll 'ave Ole OneEye 'ere." He nodded to the dog.

She smiled. "I know...just thought you might not find a lot...being so wet 'n all."

He knew she didn't care about that, it was probably the wet that she was worried about...had he been that unbearable when he was sick? "Snow's comin'...I'll go out then." He answered and that made her smile a little easier. "Can't 'ave ya starvin' already too skinny" He stated.

She shrugged. "Don't you know?"

He looked up to her. "Daryl, you never comment on a girl's weight, fat or skinny." She replied, which earned a sharp exhale of breath from him, which was a decent Daryl laugh and she liked it; it wasn't a chuckle, far from a laugh, but it was something and it was her words that made it happen and that was enough to smile about.

"Ya' jus' fine, Beth." He answered as he looked her up and down, which was just obvious enough to make her blush a little. He shook his head realizing what he had just done and tried to make a joke of it. "Maybe I'm just too fat, makes ya' look skinnier when ya near me."

Beth smiled at his pathetic attempt to cover it up. "Nah,Daryl you're just fine yourself." and though she didn't so obviously ogle him, she regretted that she said it because it put the awkwardness that he tried to dismiss straight back between them.

He shrugged and dipped his fingers into the potato and brought them to his mouth, ignoring the cutlery she had laid out.

She scoffed. "Daryl, that's just gross!"She scolded him as she held up a fork, which he took, unable to hide the grin in his eyes.


	16. Somethin' bit

Daryl flung the door open and ran in, not even bothering to shut it. Beth jumped to her feet and crossed to shut the door; it was a reaction, she didn't think, just did. Her heart sank when she looked at him, covered in blood and so calculated with his moves, before she'd even turned he'd found a spoon and put it in the fire and was heading to her with a meat cleaver.

"I'm bit!" He exclaimed.

Once she would've burst into tears, would've panicked and shut down, but now she just knew what she had to do; she took the cleaver from his hand and readied herself. She had to keep it together for him; he could come through this, her daddy did, Daryl would.

"Where?" She asked.

He held up his middle finger and she saw the tip of it mushed, the nail torn off, she nodded, he nodded and he balled the rest of his fingers up and placed his hand on the table.

"Don't miss, aim… want my hand." He said gruffly as he shoved a wooden spoon between his teeth. She swung the meat cleaver down on his finger; it was a clean cut right through the knuckle.

He groaned and dropped to his knees holding his wrist, he bit back another moan of pain as he spat out the wooden spoon "The spoon." He ordered.

She retrieved it with a towel and placed it on the table; he pressed the butt of his new stump-finger down to it and rolled it around. Beth wanted to vomit with the smell of fresh flesh burning, or maybe it was worry for Daryl, she wasn't sure; he looked like he was going to pass out. She took his hand and inspected it, it was shaking uncontrollably and she glanced at his face, tears falling freely from the corners of his eyes. She glanced back to his finger; really she had no idea if it was fine or not, so she opted for helping him to the chair and getting him some water. She returned to the table and placed the utensils in the sink before picking his finger up with a towel and removing the shoe lace he had obviously ripped from his boot to tie around it; they'd need it, she then simply held the finger and must've looked as faint as she felt.

"Just burn it, Beth." He motioned to the fire.

She moved quickly and threw it in before returning to him with a rag to clean his face.

"What happened?" She asked; it was probably not the best time, but her daddyhad always said. 'Keep 'em talking,' and she intended to do that.

Daryl blinked hard, trying to get past the pain, "Bastard opted out."

She looked a little confused as she continued cleaning the rotten blood off his skin.

His head lolled around; he was feeling faint but wanted to keep talking so he didn't pass out, "Saw the prick hangin' there, his bags below him, went through them, see if there was anything in'erestin', found a note, ya' know, lost his family a week ago, got separated, been lookin' for 'em, but couldn't find 'em, got scared and opted out."

"So you went all Cujo and ripped him apart? Got yourself bit…?"

"Prick opted out."Which was apparently reason enough.

"Maybe he didn't do it because he was scared, Daryl, maybe he was already dead, losing them; maybe there was no reason to live anymore?" She suggested.

"Naw." He shook his head. "He had reason enough; he didn't see them dead, he just left them, opted out like some pussyarsed bitch. What if they're still alive out there? Ain't no man ever leave his family like that, his children, that's not okay, its' not... I'd never do that, I'd never leave you, never stop lookin'... for my family... just had me seein' red is all...you know, it just ain't right."

She didn't respond, she didn't have to, she might not agree with Daryl beating the dead to death, might not get why he needs to be like this, why he'd risk his life for something already lost, but he was a man of principals and that often drove him to such actions. It's stupid, it's true, but she gets it.

He felt awful, he can see the paleness in her skin, see that it sickens her that he can be that kind of brutal, and he can see worry there, in her eyes; she shouldn't have to deal with this, with him. "Best tie me up, Beth...in case, you know."

"You'll be fine" She answered flatly.

"Just in case, Beth." He answered, and the look of determination in his eyes made her a little uncomfortable.

"I won't tie you up like some dog." She snapped.

"Goddamn stupid." He complained as he started to remove his belt one-handed, and after watching him struggle for a moment she decided to lend a hand. "Just put it through the back of the chair and back around me; that way I can't launch at ya... in such circumstance."

Beth nodded as she held back tears. He sighed heavily and lifted her chin to look at her. "Hey, girl, nothing is gonna happen, I just gotta know if it did, that I can't hurt you, ya know?" She nodded. "You'd do it if it came to it... wouldn't you?" He asked.

A stray tear dripped down her face. "It won't." It came out a little too quiet.

"But if it did?" He pushed, "You know how to use ya bow, right?"

She stood and crossed to her bag, pulling out some pain killers; they were weak, she'd picked them up at some pharmacy raid for her monthly's, but they was something. She popped a few into her hand and crossed to him, he took them gratefully in his good hand, "I wouldn't let you suffer."She answered, and she meant it although she could never imagine having to put him down. She felt her fingers run through his hair for a moment, as if easing the pain on the invisible wound that would only appear there if she had to do the unthinkable; she let her hand drift to his shoulder and rest there with a light squeeze, as she looked at him carefully.

He looked down, almost feeling embarrassed at the attention, at her kindest gestures "Good" and with that he swallowed the pills and closed his eyes, his chest was throbbing again and he felt a little feverish. "'N if sumfin' does...ya know, his bags are south of the river... got lots'a food." That was the last he could manage before it all went black.

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**A/N Oh no, will they survive, because you know I'm liable to turn them both into walkers and continue from there!**


	17. Pretending like we're sumthin'

Beth woke to the sound of Daryl moaning, grunting and generally making unpleasant noises; there was a thud and the dog growled. "It's okay, Bud, I got this one." She whispered as she patted him on the head. She wiped her hair out of her face and sat up. In that instant, Daryl's body flopped on the bed next to her and she saw something that almost looked like a grin, which was something she was getting used to, but still she had never really seen this one on him before, and she couldn't help but think it was kind of beautiful, in a weird way.

She took in a sharp breath. "What?" She questioned.

She was still unused to this, this 'friendly' Daryl; he was becoming more and more so, like this place drew him out more than he ever had been before. She thought maybe it's because it's what he was built for, few possessions, hunting, no money, just surviving; it fulfilled his primal needs, he was okay with it.

Daryl shrugged, the smile playing at the corner of her lips made him happy; she hadn't done that in days, her usual smile that lit up her face, hell lit up the room, was absent this past week. He thought maybe it was the constant rain, that's why they were stuck here; she was probably itching to see Maggie, but they couldn't risk this harsh weather with no cover. They were best playing it safe, yeah it was probably the weather, he'd heard weather messed with your feelings and shit like that; anyway, whatever, she was almost smiling now and that was good enough. "Got us a present'."

"A present?"

"Moonshine." He smirked.

"I thought it wasn't a good idea for us to drink?" She asked.

"I ain't seen walkers around here in weeks, just the idiot that opted out and two other guys. They're slow, we're well boarded, and we won't let the mutt get plastered." He explained.

Beth examined him, flopped sideways, propped up on one shoulder and smiling, it made her want to smile too. "You're a mean drunk." She answered.

"Not this time, won't be...promise."

"Better not be... Well, what are we waiting for?" She questioned as she dove off the bed and toward the cupboard to pull out some glasses.

Daryl scoffed at her when he saw the champagne glasses in hand.

She suddenly felt a little self-conscious and stopped. "What?"

"Moonshine outta champers glasses?" He asked, cocking his brows.

She shrugged. "Last time we did it your way, we drank out of jars; this time I wanna do it my way, c'mon, Daryl let's be all sophisticated and pretend, okay?"

He thought it was stupid, acting like the rich in this world, drinking out of damn champagne glasses, in a candle lit room; that's a necessity, he knows, but still made him feel a little uncomfortable because he's never been in a situation quite like this with a woman. It was almost romantic, and Beth was a woman now. Yeah, she still had some of that girly innocence, but hell she was a woman and here he was in a candlelit room, champagne glass suddenly full and in hand, the smell of fried chicken wafting through the air and it occurred to him that he'd never actually held a champagne glass before. A champagne glass and her, and wow she looked gorgeous;there was nothing different, she didn't have a pretty dress or gold jewelry or anything, but she was beautiful. Her, not what she was wearing, but her;in fact, she'd probably be whole lot more beautiful without what she was wearing...what was he thinking? That kept happening lately, he was having involuntary thoughts about her. He shouldn't think about that, shouldn't notice what she looks like, or what she is or is not wearing; she's Beth, not some hot piece of tail. It was not a surprise that the thought popped in his head, it had been happening every day for the last couple of weeks; it's just that he was trying not to let it, because it was Beth, and that was the problem, it was Beth.

He smiled, after chastising himself he though he needed a laugh; he set the table complete with four forks, two knives and six spoons, _isn't that how rich people ate, ten thousand bits of cutlery?_

Beth brought over the plates with the chicken and saw how he had laid out the cutlery. "What's this? Five star restaurant?"

Daryl smiled. "Since we're pretending, it can be anything you want it to be, ma'am." He answered as he pulled her chair out.

"Why thank you, kind sir." She grinned and it occurred to her in that very moment that Daryl could be chivalrous, not just tough and mean, but nice, and kind, and in his own way quite funny. He was more and more so like that lately, he was more than just a protector; she couldn't really put words to how she felt about this new Daryl… well she could, but it was best not to. There were a lot of things she could put on him,she shook her head at that thought, because the fact that he wouldn't make a move said something and she knew that.

"What?" He asked, and she looked up to see him looking intently at her. She felt guilty and couldn't help but hold back the blush; sometimes the way he looked her she thought he really might be able to read her mind. "Even if it's stupid you can say it." He prompted.

She panicked, what could she say, _'I was thinking that I like this, seeing a man at the head of the table , being all romantic with you? '_No, she couldn't. "Um... I was thinking it's been a long time...since I saw a man sitting there, you know, at the head of the table, it's nice... seems wrong not to say grace."

Daryl just grunted as he took a sip of moonshine, she was still staring at him when he placed it back down."Gah'head."

She shifted a little. "You're meant to say it."

"Why?" He asked simply.

"'Cause you're the man." She said.

"God and I ain't really friendly." It was a plain answer but the look on her face made him retract that. "Well ain't ya meant to close your eyes?... god, anyone'd think ya don' know how ta pray." He scolded her.

Beth smiled and bowed her head and listened to his heartfelt words of prayer… well, heartfelt for Daryl.

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**A/N yaya, drunk people up next! Will I go with the trend and have them confessing their love, or will I go against the grain?**


	18. Sumthin in the 'shine

**A/N thank you for all your precious reviews, sorry to those who aren't logged in, I can't inbox you to thak you personally, but your reviews are just as cherished by me.**

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"Yah pissed yet?" He questioned from his side of the coffee table.

"Nah...it's a bit hard to swallow, I wanna be though." She answered honestly. She didn't know why she did, but she did.

"Yeah, fella that makes this botches it every time, don't taste no good at all." He agreed. "Hmm, why don't we play that stupid game to help you along?" He asked; it was emotionless, but she thought she saw amusement playing around his eyes.

She grinned, "Sure, you wanna go first?"

He shrugged. "Hum, I've never said a prayer before tonight."

Beth raised her brow, a little surprised because he sounded like he had; he spoke well. She raised her glass and drank.

"Okay, umm, I've never... drunk moonshine, out of a champagne glass, or eaten with multiple cutleries." Beth smiled.

"Oh yeah, double dose on that." Daryl agreed with a big sip, before clearing his throat and beginning. "'K, I uhh, I never drove a Mustang...always wanted to."

Beth took another swig. "Me too, but umm, I never drove."

"Really? Never?" Daryl asked.

Beth shook her head,"I was fourteen when this all started."

That comment made him feel guilty; it was a reminder of just how young she was, just how wicked he was for thinking what he'd been thinking, for watching her when she was sleeping at night, for all of it, he shook his head. "But you grew up on a farm." Daryl questioned.

She shrugged. "I dunno, I guess Maggie did that stuff, not me."

He shrugged. "Your turn."

"No, I said I've never driven before, it's your turn." She corrected.

"Oh...um, well, I never..." He was thinking. He was running out of options; he looked at her and she was silent, just waiting for him. "Never had a best friend before."

Her brow furrowed. "What about Merle?"

"Family don't count, does it?" Daryl shrugged.

"Rick?" She suggested.

"Brother-in-arms an' all, but we never talked like this… never had a friend...like _you_ before." Daryl didn't know why he admitted that; he wiped his face, he shouldn't have said it, it just came out. Maybe he was drunk already, actually he was, he knew it because he felt angry and sad and honest all at the same time, so he was out for the count; he knew it, but whatever.

Beth picked up her glass and drank which elicited a chuckle from Daryl,"Girl, you ain't meant to drink yet."

"It's true, I mean, if family doesn't count, I haven't had a best friend like you before either." She admitted honestly.

Daryl smiled inwardly, that had to count for something right? Being her best friend, even if that's all he could ever be to her, that counted for something.

Beth frowned as she refilled her glass, the alcohol burned down her throat, and that pain reminded her of the pain she suffered daily. "Daryl...I'm scared..."

Daryl picked up his glass to his lips before she interrupted. "I'm not finished."

"Naw?"

"I'm scared, not of dying, not of walkers, not really of even losing people. I'm scared that I won't live while...while I'm still alive...that I'm not."

Daryl leaned forward and clinked his glass on hers. "Me too, girlie, me too." And he took a large swig.

"I'm scared that I didn't really live when, you know, before, when we had the chance; I was just always survivin'" Daryl agreed.

Beth didn't drink to that, so Daryl did; he didn't take his eyes off her, it was getting intense, and for once in her life Beth seemed content to let him stare, to stare back, not lower her head shyly. They were there now, where they were comfortable enough to just be, so who cared if whatever she said was awkward, they were being honest, right?

"I never made love." Beth admitted. "I..." She paused and looked up at him before erupting with laughter, she had no idea why that came out, it wasn't planned and it sounded so stupid. Her giggles lessened as she realized he wasn't laughing at all.

Daryl knew that and vaguely wondered why she told him again. He took a sip, and then decided to go for a gulp as he felt his knee kicked under the table. "What?"

"You're not meant to drink to that."

"Hmm." He groaned. "Why? It's true." That was a little too personal; he squared his shoulders and waited.

Beth couldn't help but let a smile creep across her face. "You've never had sex? I don't believe that, no way!"

"M-m that's not what I said." Daryl corrected. "Makin love 'n sex are different...least I think." Daryl answered as he stared at his glass, "Don't really know'cause I ain't done it, but I think." That was a little too honest he thought, wiping his face, maybe he should slow down on the drinking.

"Have...have you ever been in love?" Beth asked tentatively.

That question caught Daryl of guard a little but he didn't react, he looked back to her, thinking, had he? _Was _he? Is that what this was? God this was stressful; taking down walkers no problem, but answering this, god it was hard. His chest was aching again, he's really gotta deal with that, she was waiting for an answer. "M-Hmm"he answered. Oh shit, where did that come from? Did he just say yes?

"Before or after?"

He just stared; didn't say anything, didn't flinch a muscle.

"Do I know her?" Beth asked.

He nodded. "M-hmm." He answered, his voice was harsh and grated.

"Is she...is she still alive?"

He didn't answer, but she could tell by the way his eyes darted around that it was a yes. Beth breathed in deep; that was kind of nice for Daryl, but sucked for her. "Is she in love with you?" She didn't want to know, but still she had to.

He looked at her, really looked at her; he knew he wasn't her type, he was way too old for her. If she was his own daughter, he'd punch himself out for even thinking it; but she wasn't and truth was, as much as he told himself he would, Hershel probably wouldn't. He was far too battle-hardened and gruff for her, he could never be soft and kind like she is, but still, it did seem that she liked him. That was what worried him, the way she always ended up with her hand over his heart when they slept, the way she looked at him like he was a hero, not for saving her but for being him. She was in love with him and there was only one reasonable explanation; she'd built him up to be some sort of benevolent god in her mind. He supposed that could be easy to do when someone's always saving your ass;she wasn't in love with him, it was the idea of him, yeah that was it, that made much more sense to Daryl. "Nah" he answered. "She's in love with someone else..." It crossed his mind that he could be that person, try to be, be the person that she believed him to be...could he? Then he realized, no, even the person she thought he was, even he wouldn't be good enough, he wouldn't be right, not for Beth. He continued. "Problem is, the guy she loves, ain't no good for her either." He admitted.

Beth felt an overwhelming sadness for Daryl. "Have you told her?" Beth asked.

"Mm." It was the beginning of something, but he cut himself off.

"Why?" It was a simple question from Beth, but there were so many possible answers.

"I ain't right for her...never will be." He admitted sourly; he wiped his chin and took a shaky breath in, he hoped she didn't notice and covered it with another gulp of moonshine.

"Is it Michonne or Sasha?" She asked.

Daryl actually scoffed out loud.

"Well, who?They're the only living girls. I know you don't like men and it's not Carol."

"Nah." Daryl frowned.

"That leaves Maggie 'n me. I know you think Glenn is good for her, and it's not me, 'cause…well, you know."

She paused, it would've been nice if he'd launched at her and admitted his undying love for her, but he wouldn't because it's not possible, but then he broke the silence. "Why?"

"I'm not in love with anyone else." Beth answered simply, a little annoyed that he'd tease her like that. "So who is it?"

Daryl frowned, how could she pass herself off so dismissively? It was far too close of a guess though and he nearly answered her, which worried him. She could never know, she'd hate him if she knew that he was some perve, nearly double her age, having feelings and thoughts that he shouldn't even consider. She'd hate him, and he couldn't live with that; sure she might think now that she likes him, but in a few years' time, hell a month's time, she'd come to her senses and he'd be nothing more than a girlish fantasy. "Ain't no guessin' game, Beth…." That was probably a little harsher than it had to be; he attempted to soften it. "What about you, Beth, you ever been...there?"

"Maybe."

"One of those boys...Jimmy…?" He didn't get to finish, she cut him off.

"No, I just wanted to...you know, feel close to someone, but I didn't, not really, not them." She answered.

"I know the guy?" Daryl asked, annoyed that she was, or had been. He knew he had no right but, still, there was a deep sadness, knowing that her heart once belonged to someone else in a way it would never actually belong to him. Which reminded him she liked him now... typical girl changing her mind every five seconds, which was probably an even bigger reason than her age and goodness, that he couldn't start something with her.

She thought about that; Daryl was such a solitary man, so down on himself, had no faith or trust in himself, he couldn't know who he was and feel that way he does about himself. "Sort of."

That made him angry, who was this punk ass kid who she had her heart set on? What had he done for her? Did he come looking for her, find her, keep her safe?

"Anyway, that's not the only thing I wanted to do." She admitted, more to change the subject than anything.

That broke him from his thoughts;he looked at her again, which he hadn't really stopped, but he started paying attention again.

"I had a whole list." She admitted.

He cleared his throat. "What's on it?" He surprised himself by the question, normally he doesn't care; everyone went on about the shit they wanted to do before they died, but he cared about Beth.

She stood and crossed to her clothes and pulled a very tattered piece of paper out and dropped it on the table, before sitting where she had been again. He leaned forward and unfolded it; it read:

_1Live_

_2Drive a car_

_3Drink alcohol_

_4See __Glenn__ and Maggie get married_

_5Ride on Daryl's motorbike_

_6Learn to shoot a gun_

_7Smoke a cigarette_

_8Smoke a joint_

_9Make love_

_10 Buy a __CD__ again_

_11Watch a zombie movie_

_12 Skinny dip_

_13Learn to shoot a crossbow _

_14Have a pet again_

_15Do something normal_

_16Find my family_

_17Find __Daryl_

_18 __Tattoo__?_

_19Shoot better than__Daryl_

Daryl smiled when he read it, he featured in at least four of the dozen or so. "How old is this?" He asked.

She shrugged, "Andrea told me to make it;you know, after I tried to...opt out, put that first one on there that day, put the last one on...a few days ago."

Daryl thought she looked too sad. "Ah, well." He stood and clapped his hands on his thighs, reminding him a little too well of how fresh his finger still was. He tried not to flinch, instead he crossed and sat next to her, picking a pen up off the table. "Well you've done some of these now, yeah?" Daryl said, crossing off 1, 3, 4, 6, 13, 14 and 17.

The awkward way he held the pen with his new hand made Beth giggle a little, which earned her a glare, but she wasn't worried, she just smiled all the more and hooked her arm through his, "You can cross of 7 and 15 as well."

"Seven, huh? You're a little badass, aren't ya?" Daryl commented and it almost sounded like he was proud."What's 15?"

Beth smiled sweetly. "You don't know?"

Daryl shook his head slightly.

"This, tonight, having dinner, sitting down and drinking, talking, crossing off a bucket list; that's normal isn't it?"

"Hm." Daryl agreed. "Ten left...what's say we burn through a few more of these this winter?"

That simple suggestion made Beth's face light up; it was gorgeous, her eyes sparkled, and her skin was golden in the candlelight. God, her smile was so bright; although she'd stopped smiling, he couldn't take his eyes off her lips, she really did look like an angel, so small and clean and bright. Her eyes so blue, a little green, but more blue, like jasper and her lips, they tasted like cherries and moonshine. She must've used that chap stick in the bathroom; actually more moonshine than cherry, but on her that tasted so good… wait… tasted?" He jerked back wondering how it happened, how did he kiss her and why did she let him, maybe she was in a state of shock? He squeezed his eyes shut for a second expecting the sting of a slap, but it didn't come, he just felt soft lips on his again. He wanted to pull away, he should have, he was supposed to, but he couldn't. He reached his hand up and pulled her in. He was drunk off his ass, if he wasn't he would've kept it gentle and chaste, or not done it at all, but he was on both accounts, drunk and kissing her. Sober Daryl would've pushed the desire back down to where it came from, but Drunk Daryl was raging with passion and all the force of a thunderstorm, zapping and setting his nerves on fire; lashing out to her, untamed and unwilling to be controlled and he was powerless to stop it. She'd probably hate him when she's sober, but she started this the second time, didn't she? And her hands were on his chest, but not pushing him away; definitely not pushing, it felt like she was pulling him in as much as he was pulling her in. God it was amazing; he hadn't really kissed a girl like this before, so he basically had no idea of what he was doing. Of course he'd kissed girls, but it was usually some animalistic act or some, cheap, _thanks for the fuck_ act, not this; not this, which was passion and exploration, and pent-up...love or something exploding out of him, but apparently it was good, because she wanted more. Somehow she was on his lap now and one of his hands was tracing up her spine, and then she let out the most erotic sound he'd ever heard; it was just a slight moan, but it was from her and he'd made her do it. God it was amazing, it echoed around his mind like some alarm, in any other situation it would have been the noise that signalled full steam ahead, but this was Beth and that made it just the opposite. It was a reminder of his situation, their situation, that she wasn't just some girl, she was Beth and she was good and pure and whole and barely a woman and untouched, which was probably how he should leave her;god it was so very very...wrong, what the fuck did he think he was doing? He suddenly pushed her off and stood simultaneously, she looked up at him;she looked scared, lost? Maybe she was hurt, maybe he'd hurt her, dropped her too quickly? Maybe she was hurt that he'd take advantage of her while she was drunk; oh god, that's what he did. How could he do that to Beth?

"No, no, no, no, nahh, no." He moaned into his hands as he did little circles. He couldn't believe he'd do that, get her drunk and have his way with her;he had to make sure she knew he hadn't meant it, hadn't meant to do it like that. He looked down at her. "'M sorry, Beth. 'M'sa sorry, I di'n mean 'a...'M drunk afme arse." He couldn't actually talk fast enough and he could feel his words blurring into one, he had so many words to say, and it occurred to him that this was probably the first time he'd pleaded for anything in his life, but for this he'd plea, beg, do anything for him to make it okay. "Ya gotta b'lieve I din' wanna do this, not you, not finkin' just, y' know."

Beth looked at him, what did he want? Did she do the wrong thing? Why was he so remorseful? Was it because of her, the other woman that he loves? Probably, she had made such a fool of herself, maybe she could blame it on being drunk too; yeah, that was a good idea, she found herself nodding. "Yeah, Daryl." She was going to explain that she was sorry too, she was going to say it was okay and she hoped they'd be okay, their friendship, that if all was lost, their friendship wouldn't be. There was alot she was going to say, if her throat would open up and work, but it didn't and suddenly he dropped to the floor with a groan, which made the whole talking thing pointless now.

She hoped he was okay, she figured he'd just passed out, he'd told her he used to drink until he did, before; that's probably all it was. She didn't really have it in her to care at that second anyway, she was just so eaten up by pain and bitterness that she just sat there, head in her lap, crying.

A few minutes passed and she decided that was useless, so she stood and made way for the bed; she was trying to walk straight, but was failing miserably she realized as she hit face first into the wardrobe door with a, "Hmmph." It didn't hurt that much, but she thought it might by morning, which didn't really matter because her heart was hurting so much more than her cheekbone ever could. She hit the bed, didn't even climb under the sheets, just lay there, thinking...maybe Daryl was right, maybe she wasn't a happy drunk at all.


	19. Forgot Somethin'

**A/N the confusion continues, sorry guys I really do want to just throw them together, but this story seems to be writing itself, and I like that.**

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He felt his arm twitch, that's all it was a faint twitch. Someone had upped the gravity, he could barely roll his head, let alone lift it. He heard clanging, it was probably Beth cooking; he smiled to himself, he'd found heaps of blackberry cans, they had been having blackberry pie, it was amazing. She didn't even have all the ingredients and it was probably the best thing he'd ever eaten in his life, he could only imagine how much better it could be with all the ingredients. He smiled to himself slightly as his mouth watered at the thought, yep it smelt like blackberry pie. The chill of the morning hadn't left the cabin yet and he could hear the nameless one-eyed dog whining at the door, he went to pull the quilt up, but realized there wasn't one, he was on the floor. "How'd I?" He mumbled.

"Good you're awake, let the dog in will you?" Beth said and her voice carried a harshness to it that it hadn't really had before. He furrowed his brow but stood, shakily, he might add, but stood never the less and made way for the door. He peeked through it this time, there was no way he was accidently opening the door to a hoard of walkers again; it was just the dog, he opened it and the dog came walking in carrying a dead rabbit and dropped it by Beth's feet.

Daryl had always liked dogs, but wasn't huge on them, not after Ollie, what was the point? But he liked Ole' OneEye, he'd kept Beth safe when he didn't. Daryl smiled as he saw Beth pick up the rabbit, pat the dog and give it a piece of crust before it crossed to the couch...oh the couch, the champagne glasses; that's right, they drank last night, which made more sense as to why he was feeling like this. He couldn't remember anything after dinner really; he vaguely remembered Beth's 20 questions about his love life which was pretty much centred around her, pathetic as it was.

"You're up early." He tried as he stretched. She didn't reply, which was confusing; Beth was always chatty, always a morning person, even when she was sleepy she was cheery about it. "Enjoy boozin' it up?" he asked, to which he only received a slight nod from the back of her head. "I was thinking about going into town, getsome supplies; there's a few things I need from a pharmacy." This ache in his chest was getting worse by the day; he figured it had tobe the same as his dad had and his dad, and his uncles and Merle. Yeah, it ran in the family; he'd just pick up a few bottles of those little white pills, he'd remember the name when he saw them.

"Thought you said town wasn't safe." Beth huffed in annoyance. She wasn't even really listening, was he really that stupid? Did he not get that she was a little hurt, or weirded-out or something? She really didn't know what she was, but she was annoyed he didn't know.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that...breakfast smells good." He complimented her and still got nothing. Okay, he'd done something;he didn't know what he had done, he couldn't even really look at her. She had her back to him and everything and it just made him feel, ashamed or something. No, this wasn't just girl stuff, Beth wasn't really like that, he'd obviously done something in his drunken stupor and really made her angry, maybe he'd yelled at her again? "Hey, Beth listen... I don't know if I maybe did somethin' last night, think I was pretty tanked…. If I did I'm, well, I didn' mean it."He waited for a response and repeatedly clenched and unclenched his jaw, but there was nothing.

She couldn't believe it, he couldn't just man up and apologize for kissing her and then attempting to run away, not pretend that he had no idea? He could at least act like he knew he was an ass. She scowled at him angrily; he could at least...wipe that look of horror off his face?

He stepped forward, grabbing both her arms, then decided to retreat from that and walk circles into the floor, in some staggered, semi-drunk looking way. He had one hand on his hip and the other on his head; then he stopped dead and looked at her, arms hanging to his sides, defeated. It worried her, seeing him act like this, but she was still annoyed. "What?" She asked plainly.

He looked to the ground not at her, just sort of pointed in her direction. "Did I...did I do that?" He questioned. It was the quietest voice she'd ever heard him use; she didn't answer him, it wasn't the most specific question. What? Did he kiss her? Make her believe for a moment there was a chance before dropping her on her arse and shattering all her hopes? Did he spend the last few weeks, and the time before that doing little things, making small gestures to make her happy, giving her hope, reeling her in and then just, what, admit he loves someone else? What was this, a game or something? A sick one for sure, and then what? He feels bad for it, yes he did that and she couldn't believe she was so stupid to think she even might have a chance; of course she didn't, she was just the little dead girl to him. Sure he had fun, or at least seemed like it sometimes, she thought that made her special because he was only like that with her and the kids, of course...and the kids, of course. God, she couldn't be angry at him, she had no right; he hadn't done it, he saw her as a kid, he played and joked and protected her like she was a kid. Then she went and made it all weird by sitting close to him, getting him drunk, the stupid champagne glasses…god, that was so unfair on him, she'd tricked him;no, he didn't do it, she did. "No, Daryl, you didn't."

He didn't believe her, she sounded too defeated, too quiet, too afraid. He wanted to say sorry, but that's not how it came out. "I ain't never hit a woman before."

What, was this was he playing that stupid drinking game again? Where did it even come from? And, what, now he's calling hera woman? She was meant to be girl; she must've looked as utterly confused as she felt because his eyes were boring into hers like he was trying to hear her thoughts. "I'm... Beth, I won't...I won't ever do it again, I won't drink again...I won't be that person." He explained.

_Yeah thanks Daryl, just really rub it in._ "I know." She answered bitterly and was caught a little off-guard when he grabbed her hand. "I'll never hit you again." He reaffirmed, which was confusing, because what did hitting someone have to do with anything and what does he mean again? He hadn't hit her in the first place.

She scrunched her brow with an annoyed. "What?"

He just stared at her for a moment. "You, I won't hit you again. I didn't know I did, didn't think I could." He looked surprised himself. " Just…just remember playing that game and that's it; don't remember getting angry at all.' He explained.

She shook her head. "Daryl, you didn't hit me, you k..." She was cut off mid-sentence.

"Then, what? How'd you get that?" He pointed to his own cheek, and his voice was a little louder than it should've been, but he was pissed. Why was she playing dumb? Was she trying to protect him from feeling bad or something? What the hell was that?

She put her hand to her own cheek ad felt it was indeed a bit tender. "Is there a bruise there?" She asked a little surprised. She hadn't been to the bathroom this morning and it didn't hurt, but the realization made sense; he thought he'd gotten all angry and beat her up and, by his reaction maybe he didn't really remember the kiss at all… was he that out of it last night? He hadn't felt like he was, although he sure did sound it when he tried to talk. "I walked into a door" she explained, which left him totally confused-looking, he squinted like he didn't believe her. "No really, Daryl, you didn't hit me" that even sounded foreign to her; as if it was ever even a possibility. "You...you passed out after we... after we looked at my list and then Itried to get to bed and walked into the wardrobe door." She explained.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Oh..I didn't hit you, I didn't do anything?" He confirmed.

She shook her head; she wanted to rebut that second half, but what was the point? It was probably a good thing that he didn't remember; he'd probably kick her ass for seducing him into it, if he did. She'd just have to keep silent about the whole heart breaking thing. She wished she had Maggie, or her diary.

"Doesn't hurt too much does it?" He asked, which caught her off guard. She wanted to scream and cry and throw herself on the floor and scream _Yes__,__ yes it kills like you wouldn't believe__!_ but he wasn't asking about her heart, he was asking about her cheek; which, now she was thinking about her heart she couldn't bear to open her mouth in case a sob came out in place of words. He looked genuinely sorry for her as he pulled her in for a hug, which just felt so right, which was stupid, but she held onto it, onto him, because if this was all she'd get it was something, at least.

"C'mon lil' Bethy, gotta go hunting. Come along, might need help if I can get a deer; let's have breakfast and get going, yeah?" he suggested, absolutely relieved that he hadn't done anything to hurt her. He'd kill himself if he ever did, that was probably the one case where he'd opt out, if he hurt her in any way at all, or let her get hurt, but he didn't think he could bear to be the cause.

She simply nodded and obeyed. She needed a distraction, so that she could deal with the pain and not sit around thinking about it.


	20. Tiny Something

**A/N Ok, here's a bit more of a serious chapter. I know someone mentioned it was a bit random that Daryl got bit, I did it for three reasons, Firstly, as much as we'd all like to think so Daryl is not invincible, secondly, It does all tie in sort of in the long run, and thirdly, Daryl hates people that opt out, people without integrity, and I think it's important to have those moments where he just looses it, which makes him just as dangerous as the next person.**

**Anyway sorry to those who weren't keen on Daryl's finger going missing. **** Anyway I hope this chapter turns out because I don't feel as confident about writing serious as I am cute n fluffy, but Its important.**

**Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, it's so appreciated**

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Daryl stopped dead, which made Beth copy him; she might be hurt and sad and all that stuff, but out here... now, they didn't have time for that, she had to push it aside, had to pay attention. Daryl and her had become accustomed, in tune with each other, that week running through the woods together. She knew it that night in the car trunk, that he just stood guard while she tried to start it and then climbed in as if he had told her to, only he hadn't said anything, but she got it, just like she got it now.

He looked back at her, wondering how she did it; sure she stopped, she didn't draw her knife though. Normally she would, but that's how well she got it, got him; she just responded to him and that was fine, he was happy, glad that she did get it. The only other person who could be like this with him was Michonne, she got it, she didn't annoy him with unnecessary movements and questions; Beth was like her, only she wasn't ... but he felt that same comfortable comradeship with her as he did with Michonne. That was saying something, because before Michonne, he'd only had that with Merleand now Beth, only this was so much more than Merle or Michonne; he had to keep trying to tell himself it wasn't, but it was he knew it.

Finally a realization flickered across her face as she looked to the ground, and saw a baby's bottle. "Judith?" She whispered, so faint.

Daryl looked down and shook his head. "Wouldn't let her have a yella' one." Beth frowned at that, did he really care if she had a yellow bottle? "C'mon, 'ts follow the tracks."

Beth followed in relative silence for a while, but eventually her musings got the better of her. "What do you mean?" Daryl simply cocked his head to the side, but didn't turn to her; it was enough though to show he was listening. "That you wouldn't let her have a yellow one?" Beth remembered someone bringing back a yellow jumpsuit that Daryl somehow look disgusted with and then it had mysteriously disappeared; she hadn't thought about it until now.

"Yellow's jus' not her color" He shrugged.

Beth knew that wasn't the truth, so she called him on it. Once she would've never called Daryl on anything, but now it was easy. "Thought you said she looked beautiful all the time?"

"I dunno, maybe I just don' like it."

Beth was about to argue that when she saw Daryl hold up his fist, a signal to stop; she did so without hesitation, without thought. He looked around cautiously as he eyed a dead walker by a stump, someone had gotten bit here.

Beth looked for the signs that Daryl had taught her and agreed. "Maybe some of them are out there still." Beth answered.

Daryl looked at her for a while before nodding and they carried on in silence for a few minutes before Beth decided to continue "Why not?"Daryl ignored her and she pushed on, "It's the color of the sun, of life."

"It ain't, green is" He answered and received some half-word that Beth apparently decided not to push out. He continued. "Trees are green, plants...that's life. Green is life...Beth" and he left out the silent _Greene is life._

Beth decided that was the best way to get it out of him. "What's red?"

He looked across to her, but at her prompting nod he decided to answer. Chatting had never been his thing, he remembered telling her that it never felt normal to him, but with Beth it came easier nowadays. "'Anger.'"

"Blue?"

"Really?" He questioned, a little annoyed at her new game.

"Okay, you say what you think it is and I'll say what I think it is..." She suggested. "Okay, so for green you said 'life,' but I say 'sick,'red you said 'anger'...I say 'death.'"

Daryl shrugged. "Much the same."

"Okay,so blue...I say 'cold'..you say?" Beth pushed, and eventually he gave in.

Daryl thought it was stupid, but he played along; it was something to do. "Calm."

"Orange?... Warning."

"Orange" Daryl answered.

"You know, orange?"

"Yeah I know it, my answer is 'orange.'"

Beth shrugged she couldn't complain, at least he was playing. "Fine, lime? I'm going to say 'fresh.'"

"'Rich'" Daryl said, with an air of disgust.

"'Rich?'" Beth questioned.

Daryl looked at her chewing on his bottom lip a little before nodding ."Yeah well, 's green; jus' those rich bitches call it 'lime,''cause they wanna make it seem fancier. 'S the same as normal person's green" he explained,leaving Beth slightly amused that she actually understood what he was saying.

"Okay, um...purple." She continued.

"'Poison.'"

"'Poison?'" Which just received a look that meant something like, hey _you going to ask why on every single one?_, so she just added hers. "'Royalty.'"

"Black? 'Death.'" Beth decided.

Daryl thought for a moment before answering. "'Silence.'"

Beth stilled and looked at him, wondering what the threat was; he furrowed his brow in reply. "Oh, black is 'silence?'" she whispered and he nodded.

"Okay umm...pink?"

"'Sassy.'"

"Yeah...'girly'...yellow?" She finally asked, making sure it rolled off her tongue without hesitation.

"'Coward.'" He answered before looking to her when her reply didn't come.

She shifted, that made so much sense to her now. "Oh umm...'sun'." She shrugged. He was confused for a moment before he realized what she had just done. He couldn't help but let a small smile play on his lips; she was ingenious to say the least, she didn't bother playing now that she had found out what she wanted and he vaguely realized that she was now leading him. Following the tracks as he had taught her and he wondered briefly if this was what they were always going to be like, always out witting each other, her leading, then him, then her. Would it always be some battle of dominance, some pleasurable dance of wit between them, or would there ever be anything more? Was there more? Daryl thought about that; maybe this was it, maybe there wasn't more because in truth he was perfectly happy. How could there be more than this?That's when he saw it, the movement up ahead, dragging him from his thoughts. Beth hadn't seen it because she was busy looking to the ground; he reached an arm out to stop her and she did instantly, with a questioning look on her face.

"Walker." He nodded.

She looked into the distance and spotted it; neither of them said anything, just crept up in silence. Beth squinted as they got closer, seeing the woman was tied to the tree. "Do you think she was bait?" Beth questioned in disgust.

Daryl was silent, but a different silent than usual. Beth wondered what it was, she looked at him and he lowered his crossbow a little. She could see him swallow and take in a deep breath before raising it and shooting the walker in the head. He moved to retrieve the arrow, but something was different about the way he did it; it was gentler, kinder, like he respected she was a human once too. That's when Beth noticed the words scratched into the tree,'_Help Us'_ with an arrow pointing up;her eyes raised to a backpack hanging off a tree branch and a baby capsule. "Oh." It was an involuntary reaction, probably from the shock of the way her heart had suddenly started banging on her chest. She felt the crossbow being lowered into her hands, as she looked up to Daryl's face and it was a little too still; so still that she thought vaguely, that might be him breaking apart.

He turned to the tree and managed to climb up the branches, past the first and from the second he made a jump to the third and pulled himself up. He climbed out on the branch and pushed the backpack down; it fell to the forest floor with a heavy thud.

Daryl balanced out along the branch, as he looked into the capsule, lifting it so gently. Beth was unable to distinguish whether the child was alive or dead; Daryl's face said nothing, she was worrying, her mind was panicking. So many thoughts ran together, from images of Judith, to walkers in her face, to her horse and the smell of her mom's chicken noodle soup and a pen that she lost when she was about six. Then there were more walkers, Daryl in the watchtower flicking his smoke down and Maggie's face and the little girl in the barn; it was overwhelming, her breathing was hard now, and she could do little more than attempt to focus on just one thing. "Daryl?" He didn't even look at her, just swung down the tree with all the grace of a cat and placed the capsule on the ground. Beth heard something, a noise, undistinguishable, but her heart fluttered when Daryl reached his arms in and pulled out a baby, dressed in a small pink jumpsuit and wriggling violently; poor thing must've been starving and cold.

A small smile played on her lips, but there was something about the way he was holding it that made Beth cautious and a wave of that panic hit her again. He hadn't pulled it in to him like he did when he held Judith, he was just holding it, one arm supporting its body and the other holding its head; that's when Beth recognized the sound, the gurgle, the breathing. She stepped closer and looked over his shoulder.

The child was unaffected by its death, her skin just a pale white, but never having fed off a living thing and clearly dying of the elements or starvation, she was clean still, a rattle on her wrist and her jumpsuit clean, with a little love heart embroidered on it. She was beautiful, her blond hair wisping in the wind and her eyes, although they were milky and dead, looked around wide and not any different from any other baby's that age; she would have only been three or four months at most.

Beth looked to Daryl now and he still hadn't moved, he was just staring at the child and the look on his face was one of complete sadness, betrayal almost. It occurred to Beth that he shouldn't have to be the one to do it all the time, not this time; she thought maybe if he did it might completely destroy him. She pulled her knife from its sheath and knelt down, putting one hand on the baby's forehead and raised the knife; that's when he finally moved, jerking the child away, crushing it into his chest and glaring at her, tears streaming silently down his cheeks. Beth was suddenly thankful for the ever-present leather vest; she realized that the child had no teeth, but maybe its nails would have been sharp enough without the vest?

She looked back to Daryl, he squeezed his eyes shut and began rocking back and forth, the sight nearly broke her heart; the gentleness with which he held the child. Daryl had never hesitated like this;sure, this was the first time they'd come across a child so young but, still it was confounding, his reaction so extreme,Beth had never seen him like this before. She simply stared at him in shock for a long while; she tried more than once to take the child from him, but each time it ended with him grunting and snatching the child further into him. As the day faded to night, Beth started to become concerned that he'd just sit there and never move. The sky was now a darkeningnavy blue with orange clouds that caught the sun's rays, and she knew they had to do something. She leaned down and brushed his hair from his eyes so that she could look into them; they were red and it took her placing her hand on his cheek for him to raise them to hers. "We don't let them suffer, yeah?" She whispered and, with that, he loosened his grip ever so slightly, but it was enough.

This she knew she would be sorry for, this she knew would plague her at night, this was the hardest thing she would have to do. Not just because it was a baby but because she knew, even though she wasn't sure she could understand, that this was going to kill another piece inside him and that thought was crushing, but she pushed it aside. Right now, she had a job, they all had jobs and, like Daddy told her, they don't get to feel anymore, so she pulled Daryl's arm back, surprised that she actually could and heard the almost silent. "Please...no." And drove the knife into the child's head.

It took her a moment to gain the strength to pull it out and when she did Daryl made some strangled sort of cry; and it was an actual cry, not just shortened sobs, the tears flowing freely down his face as he rocked the child, occasionally stopping to stroke its hair and face before continuing.

She didn't know how long he sat there crying like that, it could have been minutes or hours she was completely unsure. She hadn't really moved either, she had just sat there on her knees watching him holding the child and sobbing. She knew it was long enough that the cold of evening had set in and, with that, she gently touched her hand to his shoulder and finally was deafening, her voice, the way it broke the silence even though she used her smallest of whispers. "It'll be dark soon."

Daryl hadn't answered and she thought about speaking again, but as she wet her lips preparing to try again he stood and crossed to the mother. He placed the baby in her arms and tenderly wrapped them around the child, then he turned and shook out the baby blanket and placed it over their bodies before turning and looking at Beth.

He just stared for a moment before crossing to get his bow and walking back the way they had come. She picked up their bag; it felt wrong scavenging from them, but she knew they still had to survive despite this, so she hauled it onto her back and followed Daryl into the darkness, quickly falling in by his side.

She was a little shocked when his hand found hers, shaky and hesitant; she curled her fingers back in response, feeling the strangeness of his missing finger. She squeezed his hand a little, reassuring him, and he gripped hers like he might never let it go.

And when he did that, she wasn't surprised at all, it felt right...it felt like...something.


	21. Something in this place

**A/N ok so woahh, sorry I'm a bit late with my update, I usually do it at 9pm every night its now nearly 12, so sorry for those of you who know I do it at the same time and may have been waiting. So I was in a car accident today, had a head on with a truck! The truck rolled and my car was launched into a tree! The whole thing is demolished, I'm fine and so is the truck driver! My car is crumpled, and somehow I literally walked out of it not a scratch on me, my t-shirt was cut up from when I crawled out the broken window, but that was seriously it. Anyway, I've been up the hospital for observation, and I have a black seatbelt shaped bruise and am achy but fine. Never been in an accident or done more than scratch my car so this is a first, positive aspects, rego was due...don't have to pay it because in no longer have a car. New experience to write about...expect a car accident later in this fic lol, it will be based on my experience. Also impressed with my reaction, I so had it together, didn't even go into shock, which is hilarious because now looking at the photo of my car, which is a mess that has an intact boot hanging out of a tree, I'm amazed, as was the ambulance and police that after going head on with a truck, through a fence and launched into a tree, I'm not dead...amazing, and all I got was a little cold, so guess I did go into shock a tiny bit, but meh, anyway, that happened, sorry had to share lol.**

**Anyway, this chapter is a bit slow but its relevant, and I know Daryl's reaction seems a little extreme and out of character...but it's allllll relevant.**

* * *

He was being insufferable and Beth had no idea how to deal with this; she wondered vaguely if he was actually broken, if he'd actually tipped off the edge. It wouldn't be all that surprising if he had, considering all that had happened.

It had been three days since the baby incident and Beth was becoming more and more confused by the day. The first night they got back he didn't eat, just sat on the edge of the bed and Beth was actually scared that he might just sit there until he died; he didn't answer her, didn't respond to anything, not even when OneEye scratched up against him. Eventually she took a cloth and wiped the baby's blood from his arm before bending and removing his boots, then pushing him back and tucking him into the bed as if he was a child.

She climbed into the bed herself and originally placed her hand on his arm in the hopes of comforting him, but he shrugged it off and she had rolled away. Unable to sleep herself, it seemed an eternity had passed when she finally felt him shift and, eventually, a tentative hand rested on her waist. When she didn't move, it wrapped around her and almost crushed her into him, the force of his arms almost winding her and eventually his face rested between her shoulders and she could feel the tears dripping down her back although he was silent.

The next morning she had expected that maybe he wanted to be held, but when she reached for him, she received a warning look and shied away. After that, he had been cold and shut off, but by evening he had rested his hand over hers and squeezed it gently as she gave him food. That night he had knocked her hand with his as they lay in bed and then he had done it again, softer and she took it as an indication that he wanted her to hold it, so she grabbed it, but after a minute or so he had let go and rolled over abruptly.

The next day he had spent completely shut off until she found him in the late afternoon, pretty much hugging a tree, that had been repeatedly stabbed at, the bark torn from the attack, at which point she decided enough was enough so she walked up behind him and stretched her arms around him. For a while he ignored it, but as sobs racked his body he eventually pulled her arm until she was in front of him and launched into a hug that sent them stumbling back into the tree, where he seemed content to lean all his weight against her. He hadn't let go for what seemed like an hour, it was intense and uncomfortable and she sported a bruise on her ribs from it.

Since then he seemed okay, just a little untethered; he still hadn't said a single word, just conversed in a series of shrugs and nods and stares, but he was doing things again. Everything he did seemed antagonistic now, though, from the way he slammed the pot into the sink to the way he banged the chair as he moved and shrugged up the blankets at night; it was all quick and snappy and put Beth on edge.

That's why she did it decided to leave for the day, she made west from the river with Daryl,(the dog Daryl). She had been walking for most of the morning, since before sun up; she hadn't told him she was going, just left a note saying. "Gone out, see you late." She didn't know what led her in this direction, perhaps it was just that Daryl had never gone west and the one time she had suggested it he had a guarded look on his face saying that he'd been up there.

The log she now rested on was cold and wet and the moment she felt the water soak through she regretted sitting, but it was too late, so she stayed. Her breath made little patterns in the air and she smiled at the simplicity of it. Her surroundings would've been beautiful anyway, but she noticed so much more now, so much that Daryl had showed her. She looked to the sky, guessing it was about noon, meaning she had used just under half of the day's light. Most of the time she had been wandering aimlessly, so she knew she had time to spare, but she decided it would be a good idea to head back anyway. The time away had refreshed her mind and she felt calmer for it. She sipped her water, a little disappointed that she hadn't found anything, then stood with a stretch and took one final look around.

She squinted as she did, taking a second look she stepped towards the shack. It was built from the same wood as the trees which had made it difficult to spot earlier. She circled it with a wide berth before moving in closer and, seeing no signs of recent activity, she looked down to the dog. "What do you think, Daryl? You up for a scav?"

The dog looked up at her expectantly and she shrugged "Sure, I know he'd be angry, me clearing it out by myself, but...you up for it?"

The dog let its tongue hang lazily out its mouth and she took that as a yes. She swung the door open and let Daryl head in first; he wagged his tail, which she had learned was his sign for a clear room. She entered what she supposed was a kitchen, but it was a poor one, dirty and scungy.

She followed Daryl into the next room where he stopped, tail still and glanced back at her. She poked her head around the doorframe and saw the walker sitting in the chair. Daryl rounded the other side of the chair with a small yelp for attention as Beth crept up behind him. The walker looked towards Daryl, but simply lifted a hand, not even an arm, and with a slight groan Beth brought the knife into his skull and ended it. They cleared the rest of the house and, when done, Daryl let out a small bark; it was quiet, but she understood the signal.

She relaxed a little more with that and looked around the room. She screwed her face up at the pinup girl, before she looked to the quilt, deciding it was a young man's room. She began to raid the drawers for clothes for Daryl. She packed in socks, underwear and a handful of shirts. She looked back to the pinup girl and this time she wasn't disgusted, instead she copied the pose and looked at herself in the reflection of the window, screwing up her face. Of course, her body wouldn't look like a porn star's but, still, she was so significantly less curvy, her hands dropped to her sides as she sat on the edge of the bed. She opened the top drawer and found a porn magazine, condoms, a wallet some hunting tips, which she pocketed and some mail. She turned it over and looked at the name, Marylyn M Dixon. The surname caught her attention for a moment, before she supposed it was a fairly normal name, placed it back in the drawer and went to the next room.

Opening it she stepped in, this room was different, it still reeked of hillbilly hick but it was different. Instead of a naked pinup girl there was a star map and she looked to the bookshelf. She took two or three books, most of them were actual learning ones and not reading material, anything was better than their sex book but there was nothing that Daryl would be interested in she thought.

She opened these drawers and saw they were neater, folded and ordered. There were pants that looked more like they could be Daryl's size. Her foot hit something under the bed and she pulled the quilt away and peered under. She saw a crossbow, smaller than Daryl's, but she pulled it out, thought maybe it might be useful for parts or something.

She dumped it on the bed opening this side drawer, it had a set of keys, three or four condoms, some glue, a book that, upon opening, was simply filled with reminder notes and job lists; she closed it and then saw the newspaper article photo of two young boys and a girl, the youngest boy being about seven or eight, the boy a few years older and the girl older again. Her eyes drifted to the words she read the names Annie Dixon and Norman Dixon, the article spoke about a house fire that took their lives, then continued on to mention the name William Dixon, the widower. It made her feel sad, reminded her that, even before the turn, for some people life had been tragic. She looked to the names printed below the children. "Sandy, Merle and Daryl Dixon." Her eyes read over it more than once and then she looked to the youngest boy in the picture and she recognized him now, the eyes heavy lidded and, although this boy was so young, it was too familiar.

Her heart beat with the panic of being caught, like she expected Daryl to come in yelling how he had told her not to go west, hurt that she had invaded something this private without permission. Yes her heart pounded at the realization of where she was. She had never imagined she would ever be here, that she would have the opportunity to see what he was before the turn. She had an overwhelming desire to scour the room and take in every detail, but that seemed too invasive. It all made sense now, she thought, now she realized exactly where she was sitting, understanding why Daryl was so hardened after seeing this dump, after reading the horror his family had endured.

Beth took the clothes she had scavenged out, not wanting him to know where she had been and threw them on his bed, suddenly feeling guilty for messing it she scooped the pile up and dropped it on what she presumed to be Merle's bed. She didn't raid the rest of the bedrooms, it would've seemed wrong. She made for the kitchen and found some canned food and some medications, which she took before looking to the door, ready to leave.

As she was heading for the door, one more thing crossed her mind; she turned and went into the living room and looked at the walker, his face was too sunken in to be recognizable, but she wanted to look at him. She let her eyes scan the room, the big recliner the walker sat in, the table by it which held various pills and cigarette butts , a newspaper and a belt, just like Daryl had pretty much described, even the spitting jars; she shook her head, it was all so painfully depressing.

Looking at Daryl's father, she found an understanding of who Daryl was, where he had come from and she couldn't help be amazed at what a different man he was. There was a new awe that, regardless of being brought up in a home like this, he'd risen above it; that in spite of this being his family, he had become so much more, someone to respect. She scoffed at the dead man in disgust before leaving, closely followed by her dog.

Beth finally made it into the cabin only half an hour after dark and she met a steely gaze from Daryl, which made her stomach flip a little. She knew it was stupid, but she worried that he somehow knew where she had been, "Sorry I'm late."

He ignored that and looked away and she took that as a signal to end the conversation. She crossed to her side of the bed and dropped her backpack. It would be better to pack it away without him so that she could avoid the questions about where it came from. She turned and got to the table before he reached her, she looked nervously around and jumped a little as he reached up and squeezed her upper arm.

She smiled slightly, which apparently earned her the first words he'd spoken since the baby, "Y'll be up for some trainin' t'morrow?" She nodded and he turned to busy himself with whatever he was doing before as she walked back to the sink to prepare dinner.

It wasn't allot, but Beth thought maybe he was coming back, maybe there was a chance, maybe there was something left.

* * *

**A/N. Yes so it made sense that since they hadn't travelled far and just made sense that eventually his home would turn up. Hoped you liked that surprise **


	22. Hate ya or sumfin'

Training had gone well, well as far as her skills went anyway; Beth had even managed to shoot actual arrows and hit the target. Daryl commented that he wanted her to practice on a moving target, but for one morning's work she was doing good. She retrieved the arrows gleefully despite his sour attitude, which was becoming more and more unbearable by the minute.

"Bull's-eye." She said softly and received a nod of approval, not that it lessened the scowl on his face any.

"Now ya can shoot a bow." He stated.

Beth smiled warily. "Yes, I can! I think I need some more practice, but I'm feeling good about it." Daryl nodded again before picking up a knife. Beth sighed. "Haven't we done enough today?" He simply shook his head, prompting Beth to take her knife out her sheath and hold it up, surprised when Daryl somehow took it from her in one fluid action.

"Okay...well that's that." She sighed, dropping her hands to her sides, she eyed him carefully; he just looked angry. She decided she'd had enough and picked up her bow, slinging it over her back, using the string like a handle that sat over her shoulders and between her breasts.

"Ain't ya even gon' try?" He questioned, throwing her knife back at her feet.

She looked at it and then back to him, scowling at her. "No, Daryl, I'm not." She stated plainly before picking it up and replacing it in her sheath; he didn't react, really just took a deep breath. "You're being insufferable and I can't stand you right now. I don't want to train with you because it's entirely possible that you might go batshit crazy on my ass and stab me; so no, I'm not going to try, I'm going to go back to the cabin."

His chest heaved, had he really been treating her that awful? Obviously he had…maybe he should apologize. "Beth, get you're arse back here." He called.

She turned with an annoyed look. "Don't tell me what to do, Daryl."

He grumbled, how dare she walk off on him when he's trying to apologize? "Beth, get over here." He ordered.

Seriously, who did he think he was ordering her around like that? "Piss off, Daryl and you know what? Don't scold me like a child. Come talk to me when you wanna be nice and have an adult conversation." She replied. She realized it was a little harsh but he'd been driving her crazy.

He stomped after her and swung her around by her arm. Possibly a little too rough, he thought as she winced; that didn't help much. She shrugged out of his grip and stared at him for a minute before flipping him the bird. "Don't you dare!" He growled, which only encouraged her to raise the other one. "Beth!"

"Leave me alone, Daryl" she snarled taking a few steps away.

He shook his head. "Fine go." He put his finger up at her before realizing, that oh yeah it got eaten off, that was useless. "Ahhh." He grumbled.

"Don't be so god damn sour just 'cause you ain't got no finger left. Probably shouldn't have tried to be a hero and beat that walker to death with your bare hands and you think I'm reckless." Beth spat as she stepped further towards their cabin.

Daryl sighed, picked up his bow and stomped after her. He had to explain, he couldn't let her think he was mad, "Just feel like shit, 'k?" He answered.

Beth allowed herself to slow a little at that admission. "Yeah, well I don't treat you like this when I feel bad." She snapped.

He thought about that; it wasn't a hundred percent true, but even on a particularly bad day she's never spoken to him as badly as he speaks to her on a good day. "Din' know I was."

She rolled her eyes and turned to him. "Seriously?" It was a question and not an accusation. He shrugged. "Okay, well, you have been all hot and cold, one minute you want a friend, then you act like you hate me. You're rude and scowly and shove me around and you're just rough and I'm tired of that, okay? I'm sorry I'm not as strong or smart as you. I'm sorry I'm a freaking weight around your neck, but I'm trying okay? You got a problem, just come out and say it, you don't gotta make me feel like crap just because you do!"

Daryl nodded before taking a deep breath; she was right and he knew it, he had t explain, apologize, make it right in some small way. He wasn't always good with words, but he had to try and put words together in a way that would make her understand that he wasn't mad at her, he was just mad. "Just angry at ya." He flinched himself at that because he hadn't realized he was until the words came out.

Beth's brow furrowed and she worried she'd done something. Did he know about her finding his house? "Why?"

He shrugged, "But I'm not." He shook his head…it'd be great if he knew what he was thinking.

She looked to her boots, hoping that it wasn't the house. "...Why, Daryl?"

"I dun' know, Beth." She didn't look at him, just stared at her boots; obviously they were interesting, she seemed to be examining them.

"You can't tell me you're angry at me and then say you don't know why!" Beth threw up her arms at him; she wasn't trying to hit him, but he flinched anyway which infuriated her. "God damn it, Daryl, you're such a jerk!" And with that, Beth turned on her heels to make her way home.

"It was a god damn fucking baby!" He snapped, a little surprised at his words because he hadn't figured it out until then. He looked to the ground, feeling ashamed.

Beth paused and looked back at her boots, "Daryl..." She tried for words, but she couldn't manage to make a sound.

He shook his head and took in a shaky breath, planting his face firmly in his hands. "Beth, I know it ain't your fault, know ya…you know...just can't stop seeing it, keep thinkin' bout it and can't help but hate ya for it." His words were hesitant, but there was no other way he could seem to express the emotions that whirled around in his head.

Beth should have been angry at that but somewhere in her she understood. She understood because at night, as much as she pushed it away, she couldn't make the images in her mind go away, because she also hated herself for it. She reached her hand up to his arm, but he pulled it away, not jerking it just moving carefully away, and it was too deliberate; she wondered briefly if there would be any coming back from this. Beth wanted to get down on her hands and knees and beg for forgiveness, but instead she just felt hot tears streaming down her face. She didn't care, right in that moment she just wanted to stand there and let the world pass her by until she died.

Daryl took in another gulp of air before speaking. "Beth... I don't hate ya...don' know what I feel." He added, pulling her chin up so she'd stop looking at those god damn boots. "I jus' ain't good with this feelin' stuff," He added as he pulled her in for a hug. He couldn't stand seeing her sad; he'd do anything to protect her from being sad. He squeezed his eyes shut, the feeling of her tiny frame in his arms, the little shaky breaths that she dragged into her, it was overwhelming; how could he for a moment think he hated her? It wasn't her he hated, it was himself…yeah, that was right, that felt more real; it was himself, because he was too weak she'd had to do it. She'd had to be cold and calculated and inhumane because of him.

She squeezed him before stepping back and drying her tears. "I know... just I... I keep seeing her face. She didn't even look like a walker, she looked like Judith when she was that age."

Daryl nodded as he wiped his face, because that's exactly what he had thought. He'd known Beth had seen that, known by the look on her face, known by the way she whispered Judith's name at night like some sort of reverent prayer. Poor sweet Beth; the thoughts that suddenly went through his brain hurt. He knew it had preyed on her mind and the thought of her suffering that moment over and over again was a load too heavy. "Ya been cryin'." Daryl stated as he wiped a tear from her cheek.

Beth laughed softly. "I know." She sniffled her nose.

"I mean, in ya sleep...night time... Didn' do that 'fore." He explained.

Beth shifted, she wanted to tell him, wanted him to know everything, wanted to open up her heart and show him exactly what the pain there felt like, but that was impossible so she simply let a few meaningless words fall out instead. "Hope...that's her name, it was on her carrier" Beth cleared her throat before continuing. "She was dead before I did it Daryl."

His heart sunk, before knowing her name he might have pushed it down eventually. She might have just become one of the many hundreds of walkers that he'd put down, but not now. Now she was a poor defenseless child whose daddy walked off and opted out and left her and her mother defenseless and he'd have a constant reminder in the form of a missing finger of that little baby until the day he died. "We don' let 'em suffer...we don' get ta feel." Daryl recited the words he'd heard a thousand times before, the words that he replayed in his head, knowing it wasn't true because right now he was feeling.

Beth shrugged. "Maybe you gotta just remind me of that sometimes." She tried a smile, but it wouldn't stick. Her voice sounded foreign and unsure when she tried again, "I did the right thing, didn't I?"

"Had ta do it...wouldn'ta been any different to the barn." He answered. "Just can't believe ya did it...that ya _could _do it, shoulda been me." He admitted.

Beth understood now his mood swings; he wanted comfort, but he so believed he didn't deserve it because he was too weak. That was so untrue, but if she'd learned anything about Daryl, it was that she could never change his mind with words. She considered spouting off something about Hope being in a better place, that maybe she was in heaven and Hershel was cradling her in his arms, but Beth wondered if she even believed that anymore. That was strange, when she thought about it... she stopped believing in god a long time ago, she just hadn't realized it. How could she have not noticed such an integral change? She scoffed at herself… that's so pathetic.

Daryl's eyes met hers almost harshly and she looked back, confused. He shifted. "Watcha laughin' at?" He asked, a little concerned as to what could possibly be funny.

Beth shrugged slightly ."Just realized I don't believe in god anymore... didn't know it 'til just now, but I don't."

Daryl looked her up and down. He wondered what made her think of that, but then he just knew because he stopped believing in the idea of a god a long time ago. "C'mon, Beth." He answered, although he hadn't moved, he realized that when he caught her confused look, he cleared his throat, "Let's get back."

She looked at him and he was different; the anger was gone, only replaced by a pain and sadness that met her own. Neither of them could go and sit in a house and ponder that now, as much as they both wanted to just lie down. She pushed that urge away, because right now, feeling like this, if they did, she wondered if it might just destroy them; so she decided to keep them distracted for a little longer. "Nah, Daryl...let's train?" she suggested, looking to the sky. It was overcast, but it was one of the few breaks they'd had in the rain in days; they should take advantage of that.


	23. Somethin' in her punch

"Sure." He huffed heavily as he placed his bow against a tree, she rested hers there and, this time, Daryl picked up a stick and snapped it in half, giving her one, "Use this...don't want ya havin' an actual knife." He noticed the way Beth stared at it and he smiled a little. "Been pretty bad to ya, Beth, might wanna stab me if ya got a real one."

She huffed something akin to a laugh. "I'd never do that, Daryl."

He returned her gaze with his own knowing she never really would, "Still…" he answered. "Right, you ready?" Beth gave him a nod and he tried not to laugh at her. "That's you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah." She looked down at herself, she had her stick raised and her fist clenched.

"Oh." He shook his head before stepping forward and kicking her feet apart a little more. "Ya gotta be balanced." He stated, before lifting her stick hand to somewhere near her neck. "And ya gotta protect your face, don't matter 'bout the rest of your body, you get hit in your head and you lose your senses, you can't see or hear right or got your brain rattling around and you're useless." He stated, adding, "And hold your knife down." He took the stick and positioned it so it rested along her forearm instead of protruding out "If it's a walker, ya protect ya neck, if they're standin' that's what they'll go for."

Beth nodded. "Okay." He ran his hand from her for arm to her fist, which actually gave her goosebumps; she shook that away because that was especially ridiculous right now.

"And you hit someone like this, Beth, it ain't gonna do much 'cept hurt you." He explained. She looked to her hand and unfolded her fingers from her thumb.

"How do I do it, then?" She asked.

Daryl shrugged, "Ain't no right or wrong way it's all about your body, you move how your comfortable, once ya know you, ya can fight."

Beth gave him her ever-questioning look and he put both his hands up. "Push." He ordered. She didn't move. "Put your hands up here and push." He reaffirmed, so she put her hands against his and pushed. "Harder, put ya back into it." Beth leaned forward and pushed, hoping the plan wasn't to budge him, because she wondered if he was even straining at all. "Feel it?" He asked.

"Feel what?" she shook her head.

"What are you using? What parts of ya body?"

She stopped pushing and held up her inner hand, Daryl nodded. "Yep, can use your knuckles too, just keep your thumb out, but this is gonna hurt you less...'n here." He tapped her elbows. "'N these, 'n your knees with the heel of ya foot." Beth nodded. "That's your power, you hit with any of them, 'k? Dun' matter how you hit, you use whatever one of these you can right?" Beth nodded. "You gonna hit, put your shoulders and back into it and you gonna kick, start it at your shoulders, 'n ya always aim past your target. You ready? Hit me." Daryl said.

Beth swung her hand back and hit his stomach as hard as she could with the base of her hand, which earned a small _umph_ from Daryl. "Good" he commended, before pulling her hand back and twisting her around so her back was against him; she gripped at his arms but it was useless.

"Go on, get out." He stated.

She didn't even try to struggle, "You know I can't, Daryl."

"Can't or don't wanna? Ain't no such thing as can't" he loosened his grip a little. "Think about it, think about where your power is and where my weaknesses are."

She sighed. "Daryl, you don't have weaknesses."

He chuckled a little. "There are ways the body is supposed to bend and ways it's not; you bend a joint the opposite way and it'll snap. Face is a weakness, lungs are a weakness, you wind someone they ain't gonna chase after ya. Men got weaknesses women don't, helps ya even the odds against muscle, don' suggest you use that for trainin' tho, don't wanna actually get hurt."

Beth blushed slightly, but tried to concentrate on his words rather than the feeling of him pressed up against her. Somehow all her anger was gone because this was Daryl and she could never really be angry with him. "Arteries, you sever one of them, some of 'em pretty close to the skin, and they'll go down. Don't actually do that in trainin' either." He added and Beth smiled because at least now he was trying to be funny, which was a nice change from the past few days.

She hadn't done much talking and her grip on his arm almost felt like she was holding it there instead of pulling it away. He looked down at her, through the wisps of golden hair that were blowing in his face and dancing in the wind. How could he have thought he was angry at her? God he's such a fuck-up. He looked down again and decided to readjust his arm because he had an all-too-good view down her top, which he couldn't have present while he was supposed to be teaching her, or ever really, if he was supposed to be keeping up this hands-off thing, which he was doing because this was Beth Greene not some skank.

"How do I know where they are?" Beth questioned.

"What?"

"Where arteries are? They're different than veins I know, but where are they?" She asked.

"Ain't you never read no science book?" He questioned.

"And you have?" Then she remembered his bookshelf and realized that he actually had.

He didn't tell her that though, he shrugged. "Anywhere that it feels good to be kissed." He answered, before inwardly flinching. Where the hell did that come from? True, but what the hell?

She rolled her eyes. "God, Daryl, that's helpful."

He smiled at that, maybe he should demonstrate. He shook that thought from his head and ignored her. "You'll figure it out." He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, with that walker boyfriend I'm getting." She mumbled.

Daryl smirked and continued. "Course if you're not as strong and your fightin' a human, not a walker, you can always try and outsmart them. You know, catch 'em off guard, talk them down."

Beth decided that was her cue, she lifted her foot up and slammed her heel into his foot while jamming her elbow backwards into his stomach, which actually had him reeling back and bent in half. She was a little surprised, but refused to give in as she reached for the sticks on the ground and motioned slamming it into his head, which she didn't actually do but he still dropped to the ground regardless. She smiled widely. "Ok, Daryl, I get it...I did good. Ever do drama class? 'Cause you would've made an alright actor." She smirked at his performance.

He didn't answer her and then she realized his face was red and his breathing was heavier than it should have been. "Daryl, are you okay?" She questioned, rushing to his side. He held up one hand and she vaguely thought it looked like a mercy plea.

"What'd ya go and do that for?" He breathed heavily.

"I thought you were distracted?" She asked unsure of herself.

He was now flat on his back as he nodded slightly before looking to his stomach. "Good girl." He lifted his shirt a little and she caught sight of the wound that still hadn't fully healed.

"Oh god, Daryl, I'm so sorry! You haven't mentioned it in days and I forgot." She stumbled over her words as her hand immediately rested on his stomach by the bullet wound.

His head lolled back, finding slight relief in her touch. He groaned the pain away with a slight smile. "'S'okay, you did good... here, help me up...done training for now."

She stood and took his hand, watching as he pulled himself up with a grunt. She decided to take both bows, which were heavy, but still she had to make it up to him somehow. She quickly followed him, which wasn't hard since he was bent over and walking slowly, but she followed him in the direction of the cabin feeling the first spots of rain as they began their way back. "Daryl, I'm so sorry."

"Nah, Beth it's cool…good on ya." He motioned her way, the pain slowly subsiding now. "Didn't know ya had it in ya."

She immediately faulted because those words had her mind reeling back to Hope. "Neither did I" She answered, but it came out a little too solemn.

Daryl caught the tone and guessed her line of thought, he just nudged her arm, which was about all the affection he could muster. "C'mon...feelin' hungry…you better get in that kitchen and cook me something good for this."

She smirked at that. "What now the world's ended so has women's liberation?" She answered in a teasing tone.

Daryl nodded. "Can always leave ya fendin' for ya'self."

Beth raised her eyebrows. "You know I can." She smirked.

Daryl's eyes ran down and back up her figure obviously in a way that made Beth blush and turn to keep walking; yeah she probably could and he knew it. "Hmm… better get that ass in the kitchen and cook, girl." He mentally scolded himself for the mention of her ass because it automatically forced his eyes to it. "Common decency, just beat me up, least I deserve a hot meal."

Beth didn't answer, she just kept walking, smiling some stupid smile, she had no idea why, it was Daryl or something, but she couldn't stop herself.


	24. Got somethin' for ya

"Maybe ya stop readin,' Beth." Daryl suggested from his spot on the small couch where he adjusted his position.

Beth looked up from the bed where she lay. "Why?" Daryl didn't answer, he was just staring at her again like he often did. She held his eyes for a moment before rolling of her stomach and sitting on her knees. "It's getting a bit hot 'n heavy, huh?" She smiled before folding the book and putting it back in her drawer.

"Hm…." If only she knew, actually no, it's a good thing she didn't, he shifted uncomfortably again, wondering how the hell he got himself in this situation.

"I wish I could write." She said absentmindedly.

He glanced up to her fully appreciating the way the candle cast shadows on her golden skin; he looked back down, ogling her right now was not helping the situation."Why doncha?" He questioned, in an attempt to distract himself.

She furrowed her brow and looked at him. "I've got nothing to write in…I so wish I did!"

The sulky look on her face was too adorable. He was going to wait for the right time, but now seemed as good as any. "Got ya something." Her face shot up to his. "'S'in my top drawer." He motioned to the drawer and she smiled widely before crawling over to it and opening it up. She looked down to see the old tattered notepad; it was just a shopping list pad with the words _Beth's Diary,_ scrawled messily across it, but it was just as good as a gold-edged, hard cover bound book in her eyes.

"Daryl..." She fingered it gently, surprised at the thoughtfulness of the gesture. "Where did you get this?" Five years into the apocalypse and there were things that slowly were becoming more difficult to find, paper being one of them as so many people burned it when starting fires or have just written on it; this, though, was at least half a pad.

He shrugged. "Pulled it off a walker a few days back when I was huntin'...knew ya missed ya diary."

He looked up in time to see her plopping herself on the edge of the couch and throwing herself at his chest before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He couldn't help but lean into it a little, she pulled back with a slight giggle, which again made his situation worse; he sat up a little straighter and pulled his shirt down hoping to cover the problem, a little surprised at her sudden arrival in his space and quite uncomfortable, yet in no way willing to tell her to go away. The feel of her hip pressed into his thigh as she sat perched on the edge of the couch felt too warm, and too right…" Watcha laughin' at, girl?"

She tugged at the hairs on his chin with a smile, "Just reminds me of kissing my dad...but you know…less." She smiled. He groaned inwardly, _Yeah Daryl that's about right, you're old enough to be her fucking dad, get your shit together man, of course that's all this is, any of it, it's her wanting a friend and being comfortable, that's all it is and all it will ever be._ He thought sourly. "Love my pressie though, it means allot to me! Stupid how small things can make me so happy nowadays," She added.

He looked at her large blue eyes with a shy smile before dropping his gaze a little, landing on her chest; he quickly averted his eyes. "Glad to make ya happy, Beth."

She smiled and dropped her gaze, wondering why he did it so often and feeling a little overwhelmed with the intensity of the way he looked at her. "Oh." She involuntarily squeaked before looking up with a blush, then to the door, no the coffee table, back to his lap, which he was now squirming to cover, no the roof, his face, her new diary, yes that's a good spot to look at, her diary…shopping list whatever it is. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"Well don't just sit there." He snapped which made her lift her eyes to his, he'd brought his knees up to his chest now which had bumped her off the couch a little, but were now hiding it completely and he vaguely wondered why he didn't do that the moment she came over.

"Um, sorry." She stood and walked aimlessly to the table. She went to step somewhere else, but then decided to just stay at the table with her back to him. She wondered if he saw her weird convulsion which made her laugh a small huff as she quickly stifled it.

"Ain't funny, Beth." He snapped, still trying to decide what he should do; too bad they didn't have a nice cold shower he thought.

"Oh...um, I... I wasn't laughing at you." She answered, now fixated on the wood grains of the table. She heard him grunt which made her think he probably didn't believe her, so she continued. "I was laughing at me."

He'd now turned around and put his feet on the floor and was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "You?" he asked, wondering what she could be laughing at herself for.

"Yeah, I'm so awkward, I mean it happens right, and I'm so...embarrassed." She dropped her head, realizing how utterly stupid she was; but she relaxed a little when she heard a deep chuckle from him.

He couldn't help it, she was just so damn sweet; he was frustrated and annoyed and embarrassed, but she was just so sweet. The thought of it made him chuckle regardless of how much he didn't want to do that.

She risked turning around. "I'm sorry if I...you know, am an idiot, just...I haven't really, well I mean yeah I haven't really seen that, I mean you know and we're all alone... Oh not that I think it's... I think it happened once with Zach but it wasn't that big..." Her hands slapped to her face. "Oh, god, that's not what I meant." Daryl couldn't help but laugh at her again "I meant, he umm, left...I mean before, I…."

"Just stop talkin." Daryl advised, the comment was it was a quick and clipped, but not at all offensive. "Ain't gotta be embarrassed, s'not you." He lied. "Just happens."

She finally managed to look at him and she realized by the way he was avoiding her he was embarrassed regardless of how cool he was playing it. "Yeah, well the book was pretty good huh?" She scoffed which earned her a grin and a nod.

Daryl cleared his throat. "I'm gonna do a perimeter check 'fore I turn in 'k." He answered. "Take the dog for a piss." He explained before crossing to the door.

"Okay, thanks for my diary." Beth smiled as she watched him walk out the door, holding her breath until he closed it, where she let out a embarrassed groan and flopped forward on the bed. "God, Greene you're such a klutz." She muttered to herself, before letting a smile play on her lips. Though she'd never admit it, she was actually pretty turned on about it, which was stupid, he'd never see her as anything else than a little girl especially after that reaction. She shook her smile of her face and stood to get dressed before lying back on the bed and writing in her diary.

Daryl returned twenty minutes or so later with a slight cough at the cold wind. OneEye made straight for the couch and Daryl thudded over to his side of the bed, not completely relieved but a little relaxed after the chilly walk. Beth was lying on her stomach in those glorious short shorts that showed off just the crease where her butt met her thigh. She had no idea they did that, they only crept up when she laid like that, but he wasn't going to embarrass her by telling her. Daryl swallowed again, before looking away. "Better not be writing this shit in there." He stated as he sat on the edge of the bed and started taking off his angel vest, doing his best not to look at her.

Beth would've thought he was angry from the way he spoke if she didn't know him better. "Nah, Daryl, actually I've got allot of catching up. I was just writing about my daddy."

He looked over his shoulder, a little surprised that she'd be so open with him, not that she needed to be. He'd already read her other diary, not that he'd ever tell her that. He leaned over and took off his boots before pulling the covers back. She looked at him briefly before opening her drawer, slipping her notepad and pen in there and climbing in also, something in the air was slightly uncomfortable, but she ignored it as he did.

They lay in silence, huddled up on opposite sides of the bed for what seemed like an eternity before she rolled over onto her back and stared at Daryl's back. He was so still, but he wasn't asleep, she knew because he held his breath as she moved. She sighed sounding exasperated before reaching for his shirt, pinching it somewhere between his shoulder blades and tugging a little. "This doesn't have to be so weird, I mean shouldn't we just act normal?" She suggested.

He rolled on his back, staring up at the roof catching her wide smile out of the corner of her eye. She reached for his hand and pulled it around her waist, then rolled away from him so he was spooning her. He wasn't sure when _this _became normal, probably a few weeks ago when they first found Hope, the night after that was the first time, he'd reached over and pulled her into him and after that it just happened. He was cursing himself for letting this be normal now, but he didn't have the strength to pull away. He didn't want to, which was defiantly making his situation worse; screw it, he was already in trouble. He pulled his hips back to a safe distance before allowing her to settle in his arms, he jumped a little realizing it wasn't far enough back as she bumped into him. Beth bit her lips closed, refusing to smile at the feeling of his bulge against her thigh. He pulled back with a disgruntled noise before settling his arm over her again.

She was thinking about saying something, maybe making a joke, but nothing came to her, so she tried her best to close her eyes and go to sleep and not think about what it meant. There was one thing she knew for sure, though… this she liked, this was another piece of Daryl that she defiantly wanted.

_Yeah Green, pretty sure you're all Romeo and Juliet, Maggie and __Glenn__, Pocahontas and John __Smith__... Helen and Paris- type head-over-heels in love... Well that sucks, now what do I do?_ Beth wondered, because it was entirely inappropriate, but then...something told her that Daryl might feel the same, under all that, 'this man is an island' and 'he has a heart made of stone' bullshit that he normally tried to portray.

Although right this second may not be the best time to enlighten him of her sudden realization, so she tried to close her eyes and sleep.


	25. Confussed or somethin'

**A/N thank you so much everyone for the reviews, I can't believe I actually got ten, I really didn't expect that, anyway, here's the early update! Thank you all made my day!**

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Daryl had tried sleeping for at least an hour, he was mildly annoyed that Beth had found sleep so easy, her breathing had changed into longer heavier breaths about twenty minutes ago. The fire was burning hotter tonight, or maybe it was just him, but the quilt had slipped down her waist a little and he couldn't help running his eyes over her bare arms, which really he had seen often, but tonight they looked particularly good, her forearm was bent over her stomach and her fingers laced with his own, which felt amazing. The difference between their arms mesmerized him, hers so frail and white compared to his; they were heavenly.

She was heavenly. He really should stop looking at her, thinking about her, about her skin, about running his hands over it. His fingers prickled at that thought, which made her shift a little rubbing up against his already hardened member for a fraction of a second, his hips bucked forward of their own accord and he swore he felt her roll back into him. They did it a second time, smoother, and he realized this time, and the next few he had let it happen… wait, what was he doing?

He held his breath for a second hoping it didn't wake her, mentally scolding himself for losing his brain whenever she was around. When she didn't move he breathed out slowly. "Shit Daryl, what the fuck man?" He mumbled to himself before using his free hand to stuff the quilt in between them a little more. He pulled the hand that was around her stomach, to fix the quilt in there as well. He went to put his arm back around hers but got distracted by her delicious skin, he rested his hand on her shoulder before carefully pushing her hair back a little so he could see her neck a little better, which forced him to kiss the soft skin carefully. He'd never wanted to kiss someone like that before, just out of pure need to feel them, to worship them, he wanted to do it again and again and never stop, but he forced himself to pull back. _Not helping at all_ he decided, he was just going to return his arm to the position it was and close his eyes and sleep. Right...he trailed his fingers down her arm to her elbow and then back to her hand, smiling at the goosebumps that lie in the wake of his fingers.

She sighed softly as she often did when he did that, she slept heavy enough, he could get out of bed, go kill a walker, take a piss and get back in without her noticing. He'd actually done that once, he'd also had that stupid dog of hers jumping on the bed and walking around stepping on his bullet wound leaving him cursing in pain and she hadn't woken. How the hell did she plan of surviving a zombie apocalypse with sleeping skills like that? Maybe he'd just have to make sure she never slept without him again, he smirked at that idea.

Nothing woke the kid, but every time his hand reached hers she always sighed softly, that beautiful sound made him harder and he decided this was pointless; he rolled back over onto his back with a grunt. He was aching, he squeezed himself through his pants in an attempt to relieve something, but it didn't, he tried to close his eyes, maybe he should just go to the bathroom and take care of it? What the hell was he? A teenage kid that couldn't control himself? He pushed that thought away, and squeezed his eyes shut. "Your own fault, Dixon...god damn perv." He scolded himself.

Beth lay deadly still. If he was going to start talking to himself she should probably let him know she's awake...although he did just inform her that he was perving and she was pretty okay with what was happening before that, so maybe silence would be better. She fought a smile; he was shifting allot now, she wanted to turn around and have a look at what he was doing, the constant rearranging of the quilt was leaving her a little cold. He grunted slightly, she bit her lip, she so loved it when he made those guttural sounds, which really made up half his vocabulary, but still, her stomach flipped a little at it. She decided to just go for it. "I'm not asleep, Daryl." She whispered.

He froze, panicking, his eyes were wide, did she hear him talking to himself...was she awake when he was running his hand over her like some greedy fuck, or when he was grinding himself up against her like some depraved fuckhead? Oh, god he had kissed her… yeah that he couldn't deny. "How long?" He eventually asked.

Beth rolled her head to the ceiling. "I haven't fallen asleep." She waited for a reaction but there wasn't one. He simply stopped, wasn't moving, wasn't breathing, she wondered if his heart was even beating.

Finally he let out a breath. "Fuck..." Beth considered just jumping on top of him and replying with a hearty _Ok, if you want_, but even the thought of that made her blush. Instead she found the courage to reach for his hand and pulled it down between them, holding it with both of hers, she smiled as she felt it trembling a little.

She swallowed hard. "It's okay, Daryl... you're a guy, I get it... I don't mind."

His head shot to her with a furrowed brow, what the hell did she mean she didn't mind? What was she doing? She certainly wasn't looking at him, she was looking down nowhere in particular, just avoiding his eyes probably, he looked back to the roof. Neither of them moved for a while, eventually she shifted, running one hand up his arm and wrapped it around his bicep in a tight hug. Did she know what she was doing? Of course she had to fucking know, but then she wasn't doing anything else, so maybe she didn't. His head was going to explode, then her lips were pressing into his arm, it was only a small chaste kiss and she laid her head back down and closed her eyes but it still sent his head reeling. His fingers prickled again around hers and she responded with another kiss on his shoulder.

A thousand thoughts flashed through his head at once, but none of them were even moderately okay to do with Beth. A small moan escaped him involuntarily, which apparently made her kiss his shoulder again a little slower and open mouthed this time and the hand that had previously been wrapped around his arm slid across his chest and down his stomach, scratching lightly across his abdomen. His head was going to explode, he had to end this because he couldn't take it any longer.

"Fuck no!" He snapped his hand back and threw the quilts of storming for the bathroom where he stood glaring at his reflection before sending the contents of the bench scattering to the floor in one fell swoop. He had to deal with this better than he was, actually he had to deal with himself first, because currently his brain was as dead as a walker's.

Beth lay still, she had been so sure, tears threatened at her eyes, she'd just offered herself, or at least she was working up to it and he'd stormed of probably angrier than she's ever seen him before. How the hell was she going to live with him after this? She reached for the pillow and drew it into her, wrapping her entire body around it for a tight hug and squeezed her eyes shut. What the hell was he doing anyway? He'd definitely started it, why was he so mad? Her ears pricked at the noise that came from the bathroom, was he…? _Oh god, great… so his hand is a better option than me, fantastic._ "Jerk." She whispered pulling the pillow in tighter and sobbed into it.

A few moments later, which could've been seconds or an eternity, she really wasn't sure, the bathroom door flung open. He was still breathing heavily and she could see in the light from the fire that he had a scowl deep set on his face, and he really looked like he might come over and strangle her to death and he did head over, purposely, not taking his eyes off hers for a moment. She sank down a little bit, wondering what he was going to do; that thought flipped her stomach again and she whimpered slightly as he leaned over her.

He ripped the pillow from her arms and crossed back to the fire before throwing it on the floor and glaring at her one last time before laying down, facing away from her.

_What the actual fuck?_ he thought. With his problem dealt with, he could think for a moment, _What just happened?_ He knew what happened, of course, but really, what the hell? This whole thing was so embarrassing. Plus, he went to the bathroom to beat off and he wasn't really quiet about it...what would she think of him now? He grunted, punching his pillow into something that resembled comfortable and laying his head back down. His nose caught a dampened bit, _W__hat? was she crying, why was she crying, maybe she felt all violated, probably I would if I were her, and had some old man feeling me up, was she crying?_ "Why the fuck's my pillow wet?" He snapped, his chest sent that horrible buzz of pain through him again and he actually felt bad about being so harsh, Maybe he should go over and comfort her, he felt himself twitch at that, O_h c'mon, how can everything involving her turn me on?_ He thought "You've got to be kiddin' me!"

"Shut up, Daryl!" Came the reply from the dark, he hadn't aimed that at her, but clearly that's how she took it and he didn't argue it because in reality, it sounded a little too full of hurt.

He just groaned, feeling unsatisfied and worried because he had no idea if or how this could ever be fixed, and that idea was terrifying.

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**A/N I know this is awful, like I've said before, this story just writes itself. Was so upset about it too, but don't worry they will sort it out and it's not too long before they're back happy and quite possibly together, and then there will be lots of kissing and touching, and **sneek peek, (spoiler alert-for my story, not cannon) because you earned it, there may be a moment in the near future where Daryl quiet openly kisses Beth in front of a bunch of people...because she owns him. :D** Anyway, please please keep up with the reviews, I really appreciate every one of them. :D and I always try to reply by sending you a review if you have a story. Thank you all so much for reading and enjoying and in boxing me cute little borderline abusive messages about getting them together and posting all my chapters lol, I love it!**


	26. Into his heart or something

Beth had been avoiding him; she couldn't possibly make it any more obvious if she tried. It was getting unbearable, but leaving right now wasn't an option, the rain and freezing winds kept them trapped indoors. Daryl had tried to go for a walk yesterday, but he made it three feet from the door before freezing his arse of and recoiling back into the house. He had no idea what to do with this information, he was uncomfortable with the fact that he was liking Beth's company a lot more than he should. After the incident two nights ago he was even more uncomfortable with the fact that she apparently liked him too, or at least didn't utterly hate him, as she had offered herself…at least that's what he thought it was, right?

Judging from the way she was acting, she was either pretty damn hooked on him or actually hated him now; either way it made this living arrangement impossible. They couldn't go on like this, her over on the bed writing in her diary and him on the couch just avoiding her. He pulled the last stitch through and secured it with a knot before breaking the string with his teeth. Daryl stood and crossed to the bed, throwing the item at Beth. It landed against her legs with a thud.

She shifted her legs slightly "What is it?" It was a flat question that yielded no emotion, not even a little curiosity.

"That jacket for Ole' OneEye." Daryl stated.

Beth looked back to it but didn't comment, just picked it up and took it to the dog, placing it over his back and putting his arms through it before securing it on. "You like that boy?...yeah, it's so warm." She smiled and kissed the dog on the head adding a generous pat. She didn't even glance at Daryl, just walked back to the bed and picked up her pen. She was going to start writing but couldn't while she was being watched so thoroughly. She took a deep breath. "What?"

"We need to talk." He stated, shifting a little.

"Not really." Beth answered as she tried to write again, but she just ended up letting the pen sit against the page.

Daryl stepped forward a little. "We do."

Beth pulled the pen off the page, leaving behind a thick blob of blue ink. "Fine, Daryl, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, looking up to him.

He lost his confidence again and looked to the floor. "Think ya know, Beth." He mumbled.

"We don't need to talk about it."

Daryl sat carefully on the edge of the bed from which he had silently been banished. "Back's pretty sore...can't spend another night on the floor."

Beth wanted to hit him for that… is that all he was worried about? "So? I never told you to stay on the floor. Sleep in the bed if you want, I don't care."

Daryl took a deep breath and raised his hand to his temples rubbing them. "You gotta understand Beth..."

"I get it Daryl... I get it, and I'm sorry ok? Sorry that I screwed up. Obviously I misunderstood, won't happen again." She spoke quickly as she patted her dog, trying to distract herself.

He took in a deep breath. "_You_ didn't... screw up...I...wasn't your fault, s'mine." Beth replied by glaring at him, he shrugged. "I'm the adult here, I shouldn't have...I…."

Beth cut him off. "I'm not a kid Daryl, I knew what I was doing. I'm a woman not a little girl."

"I noticed." He flinched as his answer was a little too quick, but then he couldn't hold back from looking again, drinking her in, every womanly part of her.

"You know what, Daryl, if you're playing it like that, then don't do that." She answered. His eyes shot to hers with a questioning look. "That!" She answered looking him up and down as obviously as he just had done to her. "I get it, you're hard up for choice, 'n you're just a guy, but don't make it seem like you like me and then throw it back in my face, that's just cruel!"

Daryl dropped his head in shame, he had no idea that's how it was happening. "That's not…" He paused, feeling a burning sensation in his nose and he realized that it was that strange feeling that happens when you're trying to hold back tears, he shook that off. "I wasn't tryna do that to ya, Beth."

"Then what were you trying to do?" The question was so direct it made him uncomfortable.

"I have no idea." It wasn't laced with any hidden meaning, it was just honest.

"Fine." Beth eyed him carefully. "Let's just pretend it didn't happen."

"Don't wanna do that, Beth...if we do that it'll just happen again. I dun...dun know what happened really."

Beth was angry now. "You wanna know what happened, Daryl? You've spent months...years building yourself up to be my hero, someone that I could only imagine might even notice me. Then, you go and flirt and you look at me like you might like me? I'm not just talking about now, Daryl!" Her voice was louder and harsher than he'd ever heard it before. "I'm talking about back at the prison, when you started making visits, hanging out with me and Judy. If you wanted to be just friends you shouldn't have walked me back to my cell, sure as hell shouldn't 'a told me I looked pretty, or brought me gifts. But, if for some stupid reason - because believe me, I was that dumb - if you still thought that was ok, fine, but then when we're out here, you sure as hell don't do shit like holding my hand, 'n looking me up and down and licking your lips and hugging me in the middle of the night! You don't just do that stuff Daryl..!"

"You started that." He reminded her.

She swallowed down her tears and squeezed her fingers into her legs; he was so frustrating sometimes. "It doesn't matter, Daryl! You don't do it of you don't like the person, you stop it. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Watch your mouth." He snapped. It wasn't the first time he'd heard her swear, but it was the first time she had ever directed it at him. Hell he was aware he was the one who taught her to swear, he just never imagined her turning it against him.

Beth screwed up her face before slapping his arm. "No, Daryl, I mean it. What the actual fuck is wrong with you? You're so twisted! I get that you don't do the feeling thing and I know you probably like the attention, but you don't let someone think there's a chance when you hate them, that's so mean. I mean, pull your head out your arse and take a look around! You can't go nowhere. This ain't the old world and I ain't no fucking slut trailer trash. You don't get to treat me like shit, because at the end of the day, no matter how much you hate me, we're stuck here!"

He was shocked at her language and her forwardness. He'd never seen her like this and it took a while before he could finally look up at her. When he did he saw the tears brimming in her eyes, which may actually have broken his heart. "I don't hate you Beth...could never hate you."

Beth huffed and looked away. "Well, sure don't seem like it." She folded her arms and slumped back down on the pillows, feeling defeated.

"How could you say that?" He asked, and it seemed genuine so she graced him with an answer.

'Oh c'mon Daryl, you're that hard up and I offer myself and you choose to go take care of it yourself? I mean, turning someone down's bad enough, but seriously, clearly your four-point-five fingers are more attractive. Whatever..." Beth spat as she crossed to the counter, suddenly feeling as if she were starving.

She clunked bowls around and started spooning some stew out. Daryl had followed her over, no doubt wanting stew too, she rolled her eyes. He could at least have some empathy for her broken-hearted admission. "And you know what? If you didn't want me, you could've just said so. Ya' didn't have to treat me like trash and make me feel so shitty. Just say it, man."

Daryl took a deep breath, how could he do this to her, hurt her like this? He wished things were different, wished this world hadn't gone to the dogs, wished he wasn't just trailer trash, wished he were a few years younger, wished he could be the person she thought he was…he'd have liked that. Pain thudded in his chest, shooting hot bursts of electricity from his heart through him, as if it were lightening. He tried to ignore that, tried to push it away, but he couldn't push away the storm of thoughts that rolled around in his brain. _He would've taken her to her prom, brought her flowers, applied for the same collage, taken her on real dates, asked her to marry him on some romantic beach somewher__e…__ yeah__,__ that's a joke…Daryl had never seen a beach, but he would've taken her there if he did…they could've built a life, a family, had kids, maybe even one as cute as Judith_. He was shocked to find he'd done it again, let his body move without permission. His hand was resting on her stomach now, where he had briefly imagined their alternate future child, or maybe it was just a possessive hold, reaffirming that he could probably have her if he wanted her. He should've retracted his hand, but in his whole life nothing had felt more right to hold. He shook his head. "That's not what I said." His eyes shot to hers gauging her reaction at his accidental admission. It's not what he meant to say, he was supposed to agree, to tell her he didn't want her, but he couldn't even think those words let alone voice them.

She squeezed her eyes shut and let her head loll forward with the smallest of sobs. What was he doing? How could he be so mean toying with her heart like this?

He realized he shouldn't have said that, but he so needed her to understand. "Naw, Beth don't do that." It was just a whisper, one that shocked him, but he was powerless to stop it escaping him, powerless to stop what he was doing. His face was leaning on hers, gently nuzzling until she finally turned her head and his lips were touching hers, and his arms were wrapped around her, he wasn't kissing her, at least he was trying not to. He didn't know what he was doing, he had lost control of his thoughts, of his body, it had outvoted him and cast him aside, acting on its own now.

Beth took it as an invitation and soon enough her lips were greedily placing short kisses over and over on his lips, which somehow responded with all the passion he'd ever known. His hands were gripping greedily at her hips, she had opened her mouth to him and all reservation was gone. He was content to hungrily explore her and as he did she was mewling into his mouth as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders pulling him into her. That knocked him off his feet, the whole thing did; she had thrown him off balance and turned his whole world to chaos. He pulled back as he heard the bowls crash to the floor, the sound shocking him back to reality, but Beth wasn't stopping. He literally had to push her chin back before he muttered the most painful words he'd ever said. "Beth... no."

Her forehead was still resting on his and he swore he could feel every ounce of pain that poured across her face, she briefly thought she should be angry at him for playing her again, but she was too hurt, "Why?"

He pulled his head back a little and her arms slid down his chest, but neither of them was willing to pull back. "I ain't right for ya."

Beth's features softened a little. "But you are, Daryl." Her tone was gentle and reassuring.

He shook his head as it rested on her own. "I ain't."

"Why, Daryl?"

"I know what I am...'n I know what you are, can't do that to ya, Beth."

Those words softened her heart, made all the feelings she'd felt in the past few weeks melt away. "You did want us to do this, though?" She asked. He couldn't manage an answer. "I want to do this." She affirmed, which made him literally want to melt into her, but he couldn't.

Instead he pulled his head back and among all the reasons that he knew this was wrong, he offered the most important one. "I ain't no rock spider." He mumbled.

"What?"

"You know, cradle snatcher, it ain't just that I'm a piece o' shit, ya just so young, Beth." He answered honestly.

She pulled back slightly. "I'm not that young, I'm nineteen, that's legal, not that that matters. There aren't rules anymore."

Daryl pushed her back, a little more, so there was a decent space between them, although her fingers still held onto his shirt. He couldn't even manage to look at her. "I'm almost old enough to be your father, Beth. know there aren't laws, but there's still principles, n it dun matter what I want... ya just a girl, ya dun' know what ya want yet. Ya might think ya do... but pretty soon y'll change ya mind... gotta do what's right by you, and pretty soon y'd be hatin' me if I let this happen" he answered and he wrapped his fingers around her wrists and pulled her hands from his chest.

"That's not true Daryl, and there aren't even years anymore, no one has an age, you're a kid, an adult, or dead..."

He shook his head. "Care 'bout ya too much ta hurt ya like that, Beth."

She looked him squarely in the eye, hoping that honesty might change his mind. "But you are hurting me." She didn't even attempt to hide the tears in her eyes.

Daryl shook his head. "It ain't right." He took a final shaky breath before stepping back. "Gonna go for a walk." He said before turning for the door.

Beth briefly wondered whether to be completely destroyed by his walking away, but then she let a small smile play on her lips. The knowledge that he did want her was enough to give her hope and that somehow she would eventually find a way to show him she wasn't changing her mind. She would find a way into his world, into his arms. She knew it as sure as she knew that he'd be the last man standing. There was no doubt because she knew that she had already found her way into his heart... or something.


	27. Sumfin' or someone?

Daryl was sticking to his not-so-firm no, and it had all stopped; the smiling, the jokes, the pats on her shoulder, the occasional hand holding, the hugging at night… everything except for the way he looked at her, that hadn't changed.

Beth fingered the paper. She considered throwing it out, but the thought crossed her mind that if she did that she'd never really live again and that was a depressing thought. It was also depressing that a single piece of paper meant so much to her.

She ran her hand across the title which was now smudged beyond any real recognition, it used to say '_reasons I can__'__t lay down and die__'_andAndrea had written it. She and Andrea had never been great friends, but she'd always owe the woman a debt of gratitude. It was Andrea's tough love that gave her the will to fight for her life again.

The paper was an old 'to do' list that her mother had kept by her bed; it had a heart scribbled onto it that her mom had doodled the last time she'd made a list before the turn. The first six or so things had been written with her father's pen, the one that Otis had bought for his 50th. Andrea had written _Live__,_which was her best reason for not dying. When she had asked Beth her reason, Beth couldn't think of anything other than _Drive a car. _Patricia had suggested _Drink alcohol,_when she had seen the list. Later, as Beth considered the possibility that she might want to live while walking around the farm, she'd stopped by and spoken with Dale who'd suggested _See __Glenn__ and Maggie get married one day_ and _Ride on Daryl's motorbike._ He had hinted at both in a roundabout way, but they were written down, regardless.

When they were on the road a conversation with Carl made her add L_earn to shoot a gun_and _Smoke a cigarette_. Another conversation with T-Dog a few days later caused her to add S_moke a joint._

It was a combination of the Woodbury kids that caused her to add _Make love, Buy a CD again, Watch a zombie movie_and _Skinny dip._They were all things mentioned that one or another had missed or had wished they'd done or, in the case of the zombie movie, something they'd all talked about, but Beth had always been too scared to do before this.

And then it was that night when Daryl had come to visit Judith that he handed his crossbow to Beth and the satisfying weight in her arms made her feel strong and unmovable, so she'd added _Learn to shoot a crossbow. _OneEye at the door made her write _Have a pet again,_she hadn't imagined it would be him, though.

Then there was that time after that before Daryl found her, when she was running around frightened that she was going to die alone, desperately trying to survive, that she added _Do something normal, Find my family _and_ Find Daryl._

And then it was one day after learning to shoot her own bow and spending the afternoon examining Daryl's arms that she had added _Tattoo?_and _Shoot better than Daryl__._

It was probably the single most sentimental thing she owned now, it had so many memories from so many people that she cared about attached to it. She had done most of them now, but she looked over the remaining ones and decided she'd probably never cross them all off.

"That's the point, you're not meant to." She mumbled to herself in sudden realization. If they were all crossed off then was it was okay for her to die?

She leaned down and added another one next to the 20:_ Hold Judith_.

"Not meant to what?" Daryl asked looking over to her with a quizzical look on his face. Things had been strained for the past few days, but now that he felt safe finally talking to her things were getting easier.

Beth looked up at him; he was reading a newspaper that was years old now. She blinked, but didn't answer, just looked back to her paper.

Daryl pushed ahead, determined not to allow their... discussion to ruin their friendship. He found himself missing the small things, like how she'd place her hand on his when she served dinner, or the feel of her against him when they slept; she'd often still end up with her hand on his chest, but it felt so empty now. He shook that thought away and crossed to the table, leaning over her shoulder and eyeing the paper. It was some sort of list; it almost looked familiar, only it didn't, "What's that?"

Beth looked up to him. "My list."

He looked back to it, "C'n see that." He decided to read it himself. "Some sorta bucket list?"

Beth nodded, "Yeah, Daryl...oh, you don't remember?"

He looked at her a moment with a genuine blankness. "Memba' what?"

She sighed "Nothin.'" He prodded her and she decided she may as well tell him. "You were going to help me complete it."

He scrunched his brow. "When?"

"When we had that moonshine, you said you'd help me finish it; then you scribbled of all the ones I've done, messily I might add…can't blame you, just lost a finger I guess."

Daryl looked her up and down for a moment. "Don't really remember."

"Yeah...well, there's allot you don't remember."

He sat in the chair and looked at her. "Like what?"

Beth stared back at him for a moment before deciding maybe she should tell him, remind him that it wasn't a one-time accident. "Then we made out." She shrugged.

His eyes widened, that made so much sense as to why she was so mad at him for days after... wait. "And then what?" He didn't want to ask, didn't want to know how far that went, but then he did.

Her cheeks stained red before she looked back to her paper. "Then you dropped me on my ass, passed out and I walked into a wardrobe."

"Oh." Daryl's stare was loud and invasive and rocked Beth to her core every time he directed it at her.

She shook that off and stood, wondering if he even knew when he did it. "I'll go and check the eggs, I'm hungry" Beth decided.

Her mind reeled. It had been near on a week now; nothing, no matter how direct, seemed to weaken his resolve. She'd even tried wearing one of those tiny silk negligees she'd found to bed last night, but the moment she opened the bathroom door and he'd caught sight of her, he'd grunted before crossing to the wardrobe and retrieving more appropriate clothes and throwing them at her. _Get dressed ya look like a damn skank_, he had scolded her. All in all, the whole thing was just embarrassing and she really had to think of a new approach. She shook her head and busied herself with the task at hand.

Daryl looked at the paper that she'd left. He studied it until she came back, wielding three eggs, he looked up to her "Ya wanna burn through some of these before we get to D.C?"

Beth was a little distracted, but she managed to answer. "Can't."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

Daryl furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Oh umm... well we don't have a car, or your bike, _you _clearly put nine and probably twelve of the list and ten and eleven aren't possible in this world, really, which only leaves finding my family, learning to shoot better than you, which isn't a reality and I don't know anyone who can tattoo... and finding Judith and we can't do that in the winter."

Daryl looked back to the list, as much as he wanted to tell her twelve was a good candidate he looked down it. "I can do tattoos." He answered.

She wasn't paying attention again. "Hmm?"

"Yeah, I did some of mine." He answered.

She looked up. "Some of your what?"

"Tattoos..." He answered, annoyed that she couldn't follow a simple conversation. "What's up?"

Beth shook her head as she mixed the eggs in with some ingredients. "Nothin'."

"Well, 'f't's nothing then what's got ya so d'stracted?"

She breathed out. "Do you think someone's hanging around here?"

Daryl looked towards the door instinctively. "Why?"

She looked back to her bowl. "Eight chickens, three eggs?"

"Winter ain't it? Dun' they slow down?"

Beth pursed her lips together. "I've been trying to speed them up, they should all be laying or at least be more sporadic, but it's a solid three eggs a day and then OneEye's blanket went missing, remember? I don't think it blew away and neither did that rice pudding that I left out on the veranda to cool."

"Still reckon you just ate that wif'out me." Daryl grumbled.

"Be serious." Beth scolded him.

"Ya want me to go and have a look?"

Beth nodded and Daryl immediately stood, folding her list and passing it back to her. "Be careful." She called, as he stepped through the door. Daryl looked back to her with a slight nod, there was something all too caring in her voice that spoke to his soul and tightened his chest, which sent that buzzing pain through him again.

"Will be, Beth."


	28. Something like a family

Beth's ears pricked when she heard Daryl's strained voice call her name; she crossed to the door and opened it revealing Daryl, cradling the young boy in his arms.

She swung the door open stepping back and looked at the boy. His skin was a pale white with dirty, faded marks over it and his hair was a dusty brown, although it could have been an ash blond had it not had so much dirt in it. His body was rigid and you could see the boy was uncomfortable in Daryl's arms, his little blue eyes wide with fear. Beth dragged her eyes from him up to Daryl "Is he bit?"

Daryl simply eyed her, a look of confusion and hurt maybe playing on his face, and shook his head before crossing to the table and propping the boy up. The boy nearly toppled off and Daryl supported his arm.

He had terrified the small boy, his thoughts drifted back to moments earlier.

* * *

Beth was right; someone was hanging around and living in the chicken shed by the looks of it. Daryl followed the tracks across the small barn and could hear the laboured breathing coming from the blanket box. Daryl readied his crossbow and flipped the lid up. The child was huddled up in the darkened corner, holding stiffly onto a knife. Daryl had reached in and pulled the boy's arm so he could see him better, but the child came out swinging with his little knife which Daryl was able to knock out of his hand not without injury.

The child was only about five he supposed and he was trembling, but the kid didn't shed a tear

"What's your name?" Daryl asked and he flinched, his own voice seemed too heavy for the child. The child just stared at his boots. Daryl looked the child up and down; he seemed so afraid, yet there was something about him that looked strong. "Got anyone with ya?" The child barley moved, but there was a slight shake of his head. Daryl grunted, scanning the room quickly. "They dead?"

The boy finally looked at Daryl a little, didn't meet his eyes, but looked up slightly. Daryl grunted, observing the blood that the child seemed to be covered in. "You bit?' The kid shook his head. "Killed a walker?" The boy looked back to his boots. "How many?" The child still refused to look at him and held up one finger. "Ain't killed any people have ya?" The boy shook his head.

"Wanna come with us? Know a real nice lady makes good pie...n rice pudding." The boy didn't move a muscle, "Hey." Daryl swung his crossbow to the side, reaching out and lifted the boys chin. "You scared?"

The boy jutted his chin forward and shook his head, betrayed by a lone tear that dropped from his eye. "Don't gotta be now" the boy finally raised his eyes and looked Daryl squarely in the eyes and it almost levelled the man. The boy was strong and determined and Daryl had never seen that level of courage in a child so young. Another tear made its way down the boy's face "None of that bullshit cryin' now, ya hear?" Daryl advised and the boy nodded.

Daryl bent to pick the child up, but he sent Daryl a warning look before attempting to walk himself, Daryl flung his crossbow over his back and watched the child limp for a few meters, before picking the child up regardless of his silent protests. "Ain't gotta be so strong, ya got a family now" and with those words the child had stopped struggling.

* * *

Beth's gentle voice broke into his memories. "Hey sweetheart." She smiled, a dampened rag in hand and was cleaning up the boy's face. "Do you have a name?"

The boy just stared.

"He dun' talk much." Daryl told her.

That only seemed to brighten her smile. "That's ok sweetie, I know someone else that didn't talk much, he's still pretty scrappy, but you'll get there, bet the big bully scared you huh? Probably shoved that bow of his right in your face, huh?"

The boy nodded.

Beth rubbed his face with her hand. "It's okay, he won't hurt you, he's a teddy bear..." She had moved to the boy's arms now. "You have a family?" The boy dropped his eyes before looking to Daryl.

Daryl gave him the smallest of encouraging smiles. "He's got us."

"Okay" Beth smiled back to the boy. "I've gotta get you out of these clothes and make sure you haven't been bit ok? We can get you all cleaned up and then I have some pancakes… they're not great...someone was stealing all my eggs." She chuckled and the boys cheeks stained red. "It's ok, I don't mind at all...do you know how old you are?"

The boy scratched his head before holding up seven fingers.

"Little ain't ya?" Daryl asked.

Beth frowned back at Daryl. "C'mon, how about Daryl boils you a bath and we can see if I've got some spare clothes for you?" She took the boy's hand, noticing how his eye caught on OneEye and a smile crossed his face.

"You like him?" Beth asked, but before the question could leave her lips OneEye had bounded to the boy, licking him furiously, tail wagging and emitting small yelps of joy.

Beth looked back to Daryl as the boy giggled. "Reckon that's why he hasn't been bringing us rabbits lately?"

Daryl smiled and placed the first pot of water over the fire.

The boy was quiet, he still hadn't spoken. The first night Beth had wanted to cuddle him, but he pushed her away and went to sleep with One Eye on the couch. Daryl later placed a blanket over them. That night and every night after that he had violent nightmares, but he refused to be comforted, so most nights Beth would sit on the coffee table and usually Daryl would join her with a cup of tea and they would wait till the boy quietened before leaving him. It took three days for the boy to smile when Daryl gave him a pair of cards to play with; Beth had made him some makeshift clothes and the boy seemed grateful, but still didn't grace her with a smile.

He seemed afraid of Daryl, but then when he announced he was going hunting the boy insisted on following him. Daryl didn't mind and actually found he was surprisingly light on his feet now that limp had passed. He only showed the child how to skin the squirrel once before the child took the knife and did the second, messily, but the third was near perfect.

It was another three days before Beth started trying different names out on the boy and another two days before they settled on Jakob. He still hadn't spoken, but his presence was strong, regardless of his silence. He reminded Beth of how Daryl used to be, all closed off and guarded but having a well of emotions underneath.

It was another week before they found out who he was. Beth had set the child down to draw before she wandered outside looking for some kindling. Daryl was left to care for the child, but when she heard him cussing and thudding around she ran back in, after screaming for him to stop he slammed the picture into her chest, and Beth's heart sank when she looked at it; the tree, the blackened scribble and a box and a small child-like stick figure in the tree, with an arrow up the tree, she felt a tear drop from her eye. Daryl was leaning against the wall breathing heavily, trying to control himself, as she crossed to Jakob and showed him the picture, she pointed to the figure in the tree, "Is this you?" She asked and he nodded, he finger shifted to the humanish shaped squiggle at the bottom. "And your mother?" Another nod.

That's when he finally said his first word, he pointed to the box. "Hope." It was a whisper and yet it was deafening.

Beth vaguely heard the door slam. Daryl didn't return for a long time, but when he did he had a backpack and clothes that actually fit the boy. He was covered in walker gore and as he pulled them out and helped Jakob change, there was something different about both of them, some sort of understanding, and from that moment on Jakob was Daryl's shadow. They were completely inseparable and all the anger Beth had held towards Daryl over the past few weeks over the whole broken heart thing seemed to melt away.

Jakob still didn't talk, but at least they knew he could. He was still so guarded, he still slept separately on the couch by OneEye and he still ate like it was his last meal, but he laughed, and he got caught up building card houses with Beth for hours. He would silently stalk behind Daryl out hunting and more often than not, Daryl would comeback in, the small boy atop his shoulders, wielding the catch of the day and then one day, about a month after they'd found him, as Beth reached up to retrieve the child from Daryl's shoulders, the boy pulled her in for a hug, smushing dead squirrel between them, and planted a kiss on her cheek before struggling out of her arms and running to his dog and then, for some reason, Daryl leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead, before taking the squirrels and preparing them as if it never happened.

And that was the defining moment in Beth's life, finally she knew...in this little makeshift family she had something so special that she couldn't name it, but whatever it was she had a whole hell of allot of something.


	29. Something he said

**A/N thank you for everyone getting this far, so final chapter before we move onto the... (drumrole) long awaited relationship, or at least the beginning of it, takes off. **

**In this chapter Beth does refer to OneEye by the name she gave him **_**Daryl.**_** So human Daryl will be written normal, while canine **_**Daryl**_** will be in italics, sorry to make it confusing, but it's important that we know that Jakob knows the dogs real name, because as it comes out later, he's good at keeping those sorts of secrets...I dunno it feels important to me.**

**Also ATTENTION: I would like to say thank you to **_**NoSecretsHere**_** who made the Forum The Walking Dead challenges and Competitions **

** forum/The-Walking-Dead-Fanfiction-Challenges-and-Competitions/158211/i**

**ts really sweet and well set up, and has some great challenges and discussion pages and review games and stuff, so any of you who write your own walking dead fic's or those of you who just want to chat about it, ideas or make story requests, or whatever gets done on forums should defiantly take a look. :D**

Beth was scrubbing furiously at the pot, the char was baked on thick. She quickly glanced around the woods, the winter had slowed the walkers, but she knew all too well how, feeling safe was a mistake, so she kept a constant lookout, seeing nothing she dipped the pan in the stream again before looking back to Jakob who was fiddling with some sticks.

'Damn man, can survive anything, can catch anything, can _do_ anything, give him a pan of stew and ask him to stir it and he's suddenly useless' Beth remarked, she looked to Jakob and saw a small grin. Her mind switched thoughts 'Ya didn't go with him today?' she only asked because it was the first day in the past seven hunting trips that he didn't insist on following Daryl.

Jakob shrugged.

'Just as well, I was getting lonely' Beth smiled 'And I'm thinking about making rice pudding, that's your fave yeah, you can help?'

Jakob nodded enthusiastically.

Beth smiled again and went back to her pot. Jakob didn't talk allot, but his presence was loud, he wasn't unlike Daryl, silent but undeniably there. She glanced up and saw he'd moved to run his fingers through _daryls_ fur.

'He's your best friend huh?' Beth questioned, but it was more of a statement of what she saw.

Jakob didn't answer her, just looked up and shrugged a little before standing up and crossing to Beth and wrapping his arms around her back while she continued scrubbing.

The small action made her happy, and she understood 'Yeah I know Jake, I love you too... but it's ok if he's your best friend...my horse was mine, her name was Nelly' Beth's heart sank a little as she remembered Nelly's likely demise.

Jakob sat back down closer to her this time. And she glanced to him again the sadness falling away and filling her heart with utter affection, she was surprised how quickly she had fallen in love with little Jake, she blinked those emotions away, because still they were a little too deep for her to comprehend 'What do you want to do today? After we get the evidence of Daryl's mad cooking skills of this pan huh?'

Jakob pointed into the woods.

'Ya want to go for a walk huh?' sure we'll have to pop back and leave a note but we can, maybe we can go east, there's a pretty cool little damn, you want to go fishing?'

Jakob shook his head and pointed west.

Beth sighed slightly 'We don't go west' she received a questioning look so she explained 'That's where Daryl's house is... was before the turn... He never wanted to go that way, I went up there on my own a few weeks ago, and found it, it's not all that much to look at... I had to put down his father... ' She didn't know why she admitted that to Jakob, it was probably his silence, she seemed to do it allot, tell him more than she probably should, she swallowed and finished. 'So let's not ok'

Jakob was staring at her for a while before she looked back up; he shrugged before motioning to himself, then his eyes and then west again.

'You want to see it huh?' Beth sighed, guess it's no point telling you not to say anything?'

Jakob nodded and motioned zipping his lip.

'Maybe' Beth answered as she rinsed the pot again. 'You know if he catches us hell go off' she warned, but it seemed to do nothing to Jakob he sill looked just as determined to go..

Jakob stood at the same time that she did, and Beth grinned at him. 'Gutsy ain't ya?'

He nodded proudly before snapping his head in the same direction that OneEyedid.

'What is it?' Beth questioned her hand immediately going to her knife.

Jakob took a step closer and pressed his finger to his lips as they both watched _Daryl_ stalk of, Beth's eyes followed the dog. He disappeared behind a tree a moment before a walker appeared, she took a step forward, but it fell forward onto its face and _Daryl_ was standing on its back, his jaws reaching around its head and crushing it in a messy crunch, the dog looked up cautiously and sniffed the air, deadly still nothing but his ears moving, his eyes darted from side to side, for a few minutes, and then he seemingly shook it off and began wagging his tail as he headed back to the stream and lapped lazily at it.

Beth bent down and scratched the dog's ear 'Thanks Daryl...you're getting better every time' she said approvingly. Beth looked back to Jakob before nodding for him to follow her 'Why do you want to go up there anyway?' she questioned.

Jakob shrugged again.

'Ya gotta know'

He quirked one side of his mouth before covering his eyes and peering through at her.

'Hiding?' she asked.

He shook his head and then did it again before putting his hand on his heart and looking west again.

Beth thought about what he meant, the whole having a conversation with Jake without him talking was getting old, but she loved him enough to continue trying 'You want to see who Daryl is?'

Jakob looked minimally confused before pointing to Beth and shaking his head, she wasn't getting it at all.

Beth shook her head as she flicked the last remaining droplets of water from the pan 'You think allot don't you' she commented, which earned her another smile. 'Guess ya got to, still you're probably a little genius' she ruffled his hair, not missing his head moving to look behind her.

His hearing was always ten times better than Beth could hope for, or maybe it was just that he was so in tune with OneEye.

She turned expecting another walker in the distance, but instead saw Daryl coming, wielding in his hand five squirrels; he nodded, holding them up as some sort of trophy. Beth nodded back before looking down to Jakob 'look, now he can ruin this all over again' she teased as she bumped his arm gently with the pan.

Jakob looked up to her with a slight giggle before bounding over to Daryl and throwing his tiny body in the mans arms.

Beth waved Jakob out from the corner of the kitchen where she had told him to wait. Regardless of being here before, it was always safest to clear it again. There weren't any walkers anyway, but she felt better checking.

Jakob stepped out and made his way almost knowingly to Daryl's old room. Beth frowned a little as the boy navigated the house without a second thought. As she followed him up the corridor and noticed minimal changes, Merles door was open, where she had shut it, the clothes were gone from the bed where she had messily dumped them, she poked her head in the room, the poster that she had noticed last time had been torn down.

Suddenly a sickening feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, someone had been here, they could come back any moment and who knew who they were? Daryl would not expect to look here, she ducked back into Daryl's room. 'Jakob, we have to go' she told him as she saw his head poking up from the other side of the bed. 'Jakob, hurry' she urged him as he seemed unwilling to budge.

She frowned before crossing to the other side of the bed, planning to pull him along when she noticed a rug laid out that he was sitting on. 'What are you doing?'

Jakob shrugged slightly before pulling out a can of rice pudding and passing it to her. Beth frowned she looked back around the room, not much was different, but there were some subtle hints, and then she saw a broken bolt discarded in the old box that was a makeshift bin and she recognized it. 'You've been here before?' she questioned. '_He_ brought you here?' Beth looked back to Jakob.

He nodded.

'Why?' she knew Jakob wouldn't really be able to tell her, it was more of a question for Daryl, not that she could ever ask him, otherwise he would know she was here, but she had asked it without thought.

Jakob shrugged and pulled out a bag from beneath the bed showing Beth a pack of supplies and a book. She sat down on the rug cautiously, unsure about what he wanted.

'We can pretend' Jakob said, and the sound of his voice shocked her slightly.

She looked around at the room again before back to him 'Pretend what?'

'That people like us get to have each other, you know boy...Jake, like that ain't my daddy, like yours din' run out on ya, like ya my son, like the worlds ok, coz were here together' Jakob said and Beth's eyes widened in realization of what was happening.

Jake continued mimicking, his little voice sounding just like Daryl 'I'da read ya bedtime stories, took ya huntin' on the weekend... ya momma, made ya that rice pudding, or blue berry pie, just like her grandma made...'Jake stopped mimicking as he passed the book to Beth nudging her hand. The implications of the words he said sinking in, knowing they were exactly the words Daryl said, she smiled lightly before Jakob spoke again, encouraging her 'Read it?'

She took it with a faint smile and flipped it open, she wondered why Jake chose to speak those words, why he chose to tell her that? Maybe that was a special moment, maybe he wanted what Daryl obviously did also, she would think about it later, for now she had to read Robinson Crusoe as Jakob requested. The page was turned in at chapter four and she smiled. 'I dint know he brought you here to do this...I didn't know he wanted this' Beth remarked with a little sadness.

Jakob shrugged and pointed to the book and Beth smiled slightly again before taking a breath and beginning chapter four. Jake sat in silence as he enjoyed the book, until Beth finished the chapter, and then he simply stood, throwing the items back in the bag before standing.

Beth wondered how many times they had done this, why Daryl had chosen to do this, share this with Jakob... for a moment she felt hurt that he hadn't shared it with her, but somewhere in her she understood, that some thing's they could just have with Jakob. Some things would be just for him.

'He loves you an awful lot...so do I' Beth commented as Jake finished folding the little rug and stuffing it back from where it came. He looked up to Beth with a smile before reaching for her hand and dragging her back down the hallway and pointing to the top cupboard in the kitchen.

His actions were so purposeful now. She frowned before reaching up and opening it revealing half a dozen bottles of little pills. She picked one up and passed it down to Jakob who looked at it approvingly before stuffing it into Beth's pocket. 'Is that what we came here for?' Beth questioned confusingly.

Jakob nodded. Witch had her wondering what it was all about, she took the pills back out her pocket and read the label, she didn't recognize them, but something about Jake's certainness made her trust him, regardless of his age, he always seemed so smart, perhaps Daryl had told him about whatever they were when they were here last, so she stuffed them back in her pocket and followed his lead out of the house.

He returned to his old self, refusing to talk to her on the way home, going back to his little hand gestures and Beth idly wondered what it was all about, why he had shared that all too precious memory with her... and of all things why that? Why were the pills important? What did he know that she didn't? And why had Daryl taken him there, surely it was for more than to play happy families... why had Daryl shown him the pills? The room? None of it really made any sense. But when they walked in the door and she saw Daryl and OneEye sitting at the table, Daryl preparing the meal he had caught and he looked up with a soft smile, all her questions vanished, because although she didn't understand all of the questions, she understood the most pressing, why he had taken Jake there.

He had just wanted one good memory to hold onto, just one nice thing, one thing that was pure and honest and wouldn't haunt him, and he wanted to share that with the person he loved most in the world... it was the same reason that Beth found herself telling Jakob stupid little things. Because that's what being a parent is, loving and sharing happiness and not hiding a single part of you, it's honestly giving everything, that's what Daryl was trying to do, just as she was.

'Good walk?' he questioned, which brought her mind back to now. And by the way he asked Beth almost thought he knew where they had gone. She smiled determined not to give anything away. 'Been back a while, how far did you go?' he asked.

Beth shrugged, the trip that had taken her four hours the first time was now only a forty minute walk, but they had spent probably an hour at the house 'Nah not far, just around, Jake wanted to go'

Daryl stood and ruffled the boy's hair 'Yeah he likes walking huh?'

Jakob smiled up at him before Beth interjected 'He spoke today'

'Really?' Daryl slipped his hands under Jakes armpits and lifted him to sit on the table 'What did you say?'

Beth smiled at the tenderness in his voice. Jakes gaze dropped to his knees causing Daryl to sigh dissapointingly before kissing the boys head 'It's ok, guess you're not ready yet huh?' he looked back to Beth. 'Two rabbits...what's say ya get cookin' and ill find that book we got in jakes pack, maybe we can do some readin' tonight huh?'

Beth nodded and busied herself with the meal, although her mind kept wandering to Daryl, constant questions running through her brain. She couldn't help the fact that the knowledge of what he had been doing with Jakob was in her brain forever, and it held with it a certain sadness that she couldn't describe, the kind that made her just want to hug the man and promise that their little family was enough, but she couldn't do that. So she ignored it, and swept all those thoughts and emotions under the proverbial rug that everything else regarding him got swept under.

**A/N So I kind of feel this chapter was a bit messy, but it's really just a filler, I went back and reread the last few chapters and realized I missed a few things. **

**I wanted to show that both Beth and Daryl had a special relationship with Jakob and they both share things with him that are more than they share with each other, I hope in this chapter I really showed their mutual love for him. **

**Also I wanted to show that Beth had made it known to Jakob that she had named the dog Daryl and had shared other little things like that with him that she wouldn't tell anyone else. Also wanted to show the understanding between Daryl and Jakob, because if it was too subtle, they are from similar families. **

**Also wanted to remind you how capable the dog is and how he and Jakob also have bonded. So yeah allot of bonding stuff in this. **

**Also wanted to express how smart and intuitive he is, hope I haven't taken it too far and made him sound unbelievable, but I do think when a child grows up in the kind of environment that expects more for your basic survival, they would be smarter.**

**Annnnd if it was too subtle, when Jakob was reinciting (because I couldn't think of another way for him to tell her with as much meaning, and I know my little sister always repeats word for word what conversations that are important to her (and this was important to Jake because he actually realized that Daryl was different to his own father)) his time with Daryl he mentioned that Jakob's mother would bake rice pudding (because that's jakes favourite) and her grandmas blueberry pie- This is referring to Beth, if that was too subtle. So yeah Daryl's still thinking about her. :D**


	30. Something happened

Beth knew something had happened out hunting today; she had no idea what it was, but she knew it was something. Daryl had come in hugging the child who chatted wildly about their catch, Beth had never heard Jakob say anything other than his sister's name that once and now the child spoke so quickly that it set her mind reeling. She didn't have the heart to force him to pause to ask what had brought it on; she just loved the sound of his little voice.

Daryl was different too, just in small things; he had returned to that softened man she had known a few weeks ago. It was something in the way his face sat, something in the way he was walking even, the way he looked at her, it was a subtle change, but it was there, unhidden. It was there with all the subtly of autumn, she could never pinpoint the moment the first leaf fell, nor the second, but one day she woke up and the ground was littered and the trees bare and it wasn't something you could Ignore. That's how this change was, it was like suddenly the ground was littered with the signs of a change, but the trees were still covered, she still couldn't see it for what it was.

It happened when she was washing up the dishes, that those bare trees revealed themselves. Jakob was sitting on the bench drying a fork, explaining exactly how he pulled the trigger on the bow at the exact moment and popped the rabbit right between the eyes. Daryl crossed and reached around her putting his empty plate in the sink, his chest pushing slightly into her shoulders, while his other hand rested on her hip.

Beth briefly glanced at him, but Jakob's enthusiasm drew her back in and then she felt Daryl press his lips to her hair. She briefly looked at him over her shoulder , apart from that once when he had copied Jakob's affection, he hadn't done that for a long time, and something in her understood that it meant more now.

She didn't know why he'd changed his mind, perhaps it was the last month's worth of her little comments, her kind gestures; maybe he'd decided he liked playing happy families, maybe it was the same thing that had got Jakob talking. Whatever it was, it seemed too sweet to be true. "You better not be playing with me." She warned.

He didn't reply, just looked into her eyes for a moment and for just that second Beth was lost in them, but as Jakob tugged on her sleeve and continued his story, she went back to the _oohs and aahs_, and felt Daryl's hand squeeze on her hip for a moment before he walked off.

The rest of the night, Beth listened to Jakob who couldn't stop talking. It seemed that now his mouth had opened, it was a torrent of information that couldn't be quelled and Daryl kept distracting her with his all too intense glances, that had never really stopped, but tonight he made no effort to hide them.

Eventually, Jakob yawned and Daryl told him he'd done enough talking for one day and he should go to bed. The boy nodded, and crossed the room to find the t-shirt and track pants that were his pajamas. Beth helped him dress and he crossed not to the couch, but to the bed and bounced into the middle. He looked expectantly between them as they shared questioning looks.

Beth moved first a smile played at her lips as she dressed and then reemerged from the bathroom and climbed in her side, Daryl already in bed and the boy wriggling between the two of them. Beth hadn't even laid down properly when the boy wrapped his arms around her. Daryl was still sitting up, reading that damn romance novel when Jakob looked up to her and smiled widely.

"He said you can sing real nice." The boy smiled, his eyes already heavy lidded. "Will you sing to me?"

Beth looked to Daryl and then back to Jakob. "Did he, huh?"

Jacob nodded, wrapping his arms around her waist and snuggling into her. Beth smiled, turning on her side propping her head up on her wrist and looked down to the boy. "Please, Mommy?"

Her heart stopped beating for a moment, the simple word knocking her flat. She couldn't stop looking at the boy; that was something she had never thought she would hear and it occurred to her that she'd never liked the sound of anything more. She felt a stray tear trickle down her face before she leaned in and kissed his head and searched her mind for a song. A moment later she found one and she began:

"_Just an hour ago, you listened to their voices,_

_Lilting like a river over underground, _

_And the light from downstairs came up soft like day break,_

_Dimly as the __heartache__ of a lonely child."_

She rubbed his head as she sang, and a lazy smile played on his lips.

"_If you can't remember a better time,_

_You can have mine, little one._

_In days to come when your heart feels undone,_

_May you always find an open hand, and find comfort where you can."_

She couldn't keep the smile out of her voice when his tiny hand reached for hers.

"_It's a strange place, everyone with a different face,_

_But just like you thought when you stopped here to linger, _

_We__'__re only as separate as your little fingers._

_So cry, why not? We all do,_

_Then turn to the one you love,_

_And smile a smile that lights up all the room._

_Follow your dreams through every out door,_

_It seems that's what we're here for."_

She checked and thought he looked asleep, but she continued regardless, if only to make sure he was sound asleep.

"_And when you can't remember a better time,_

_You can have mine, little one._

_In the days to come when your heart feels undone,_

_May you always find an open hand... and take comfort where you can."_

She pressed her lips to his head again, before letting her gaze lift to Daryl, he was smiling, the book rested on his lap, and he didn't care to stop looking at her. "That's pretty." He finally commented. "Never heard it 'fore."

Beth smiled in return, before voicing the thought that had worried at her since the little boy spoke the word. "I've never been someone's mommy before... what if I'm doing it wrong?"

Daryl couldn't help but smile at the innocence she asked it with, "Yeah ya have." He answered, she looked confused. "Judith ain't known any mother but you. When Rick was off the deep end, you were there, rockin' 'at baby, changin' nappies, feedin' her, stayin' up with her when she was sick...you know how to mother jus' fine."

Beth swallowed down the pain for the loss of Judith. She'd gone straight for her, but she was gone when she got to her cell, she looked everywhere before Daryl told her to go, the pain was still fresh, but this little boy seemed to know how to mend it. She finally looked back to Daryl. "What happened today?"

Daryl took in a deep breath before resting his head back against the headboard. "We ran into some walkers...four of 'em... they're warmin' up again..."

"What happened?" Beth pushed.

"Threw him up in a tree, took 'em on, killed two, one was a fresh un', took me down, the fourth one was tryna chew at me boot. Jakob jumped out the tree and distracted it. It took off after him, I killed the one on me and chased 'em, nearly got him, was ya know, on top'a him, bitin' at him...I got it with me arrow...Jakob stood up and looked at me and sum'thin' changed... he said…." Daryl took in a shaky breath and Beth reached over Jakob and squeezed his hand. "I yelled at him fur bein' such a dumbass, then I picked him up n hugged him... ain't never been so scared in my life, Beth. He shoulda stayed in that tree 'steada try'na save my ass' he looked down to her before shrugging and looking back to his lap 'Said, I love you...Daddy." Daryl let out a heavy breath as if willing the emotion away. "Ain't never thought I'd hear that, never thought someone'd call me that...ain't never had someone love me 'fore." Then he told her the reason for his change of mind, "Ain't been worth shit 'til then."

Daryl shrugged again and glanced at Beth, who had busied herself placing another grateful kiss on the boy's head, because this little child had been able to say what she couldn't. He had been able to make Daryl understand something that she, the people at the prison, Rick, Judith, all of them put together couldn't get through to him, that he was worthy not only of their respect, but of their love. She looked back to Daryl who was looking at her, like he was expecting something.

"What?" her tone was gentle and it made him melt every time she used that voice; that soft and so kind voice that hardened his resolve.

He took in a shaky breath and frowned, that persistent chest pain was buzzing again, but he pushed it away. He couldn't look at her in case she said no, but he had to ask, because finally he understood that none of it mattered, making her and this child happy was all that he cared about in the world, and that little boy had made him believe that maybe he deserved it. "Been thinkin'... do ya think we could do this...you know be a proper family...you and...me and Jakob, do you think?"

Beth smiled, hopeful that he was asking her finally. "I know it..."

He twisted his fingers nervously before he continued. "Did ya mean all that bullshit the other day...about what makes a good person just bein,' you know, lovin', that ya think I'm a good person?"

Beth nodded. "U-hum."

That seemed to make up him mind, because for the first time in his existence, he felt that he might just be worthy of happiness... of a chance to be cared for by someone, and he knew that if he could keep her safe, that was worth allot more than anything else in this world. "What about...us? You and me? Changed ya mind?" He finally dared a look, and when he did he saw her open and honest and…hopeful?

"You know what I want Daryl... and I've been waiting the longest time, I'm just waiting for you to say yes." The answer was honest and left no room for doubt.

"I ain't nice Beth, ain't always gentle, ain't pretty or smart or patient, ain't any of the things ya deserve... just old and rough, with a shit load of reasons why I shouldn't... but I care for ya... always will."

Beth wasn't sure if it was a confession or if he was trying to convince her to say no, but she had only on answer, "I know, I know all of that, doesn't change a thing."

His eyes snapped away from hers, unable to cope with the emotions he saw in them, but then they flicked back because he hadn't wanted anything more. His lips turned up slightly and then, for the first time in weeks, his fingers found hers and when they did, he pulled her hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on the back of it and then another, just because the feel of her was amazing, like some sort of soothing to his soul, and then after receiving an encouraging squeeze a final one, before he turned and blew out the candle and snuggled down, wrapping his arms around his family, determined to never let them go.


	31. Meant ta do sumfin'

"Gonna make a run in 'ta town taday." Daryl announced around his mouthful of toast-like homemade breddish stuff and eggs.

Beth looked up to him with a concerned look, which sent his eyes back to his food. "There's stuff we need."

"Maybe we should all come?" Beth suggested, not liking the idea of Daryl accidently meeting up with the rest of that group and wanting revenge for their friends.

Daryl glanced back up at her. "No, you know that's not a good idea."

"Daryl..."

"I said no, it'll be fine. On the off-chance anything happens, hold out here as long as you can and then go to Washington...I'll find you." The implications behind the thought that those guys might be around, on a Joe-like hunt were heavier than Daryl cared to admit, but then he was quite aware that they'd run out of supplies soon enough.

"Will you bring me back something, Daddy?" Jakob looked up with a smile.

Daryl frowned down at the child, but Jakob didn't shy away, he understood that was just Daryl's thinking face. "Why you calln' me that anyway, kid?" He'd thought about it a lot last night and he couldn't help but wonder what had motivated Jakob to refer to him with such a kindness.

Jakob swung his feet as he looked to his lap. "Does it make you mad?"

"Nah, just askin." Daryl grumbled, realizing the harshness he had asked it with.

"Coz...I dunno...didn't know what else to call ya."

Daryl eyed the boy. "Ya do know me name, right?"

Jakob nodded.

The truth was Daryl didn't mind, he just minded being compared to the boy's real father and he couldn't help but wonder if that's what the child was doing "I ain't gonna give up on ya like that no good piece a shit father you had. Ain't ever gonna' do any of that to ya" he stated, which received a small kick in his shin, below the table from Beth. He scowled, maybe he should rephrase that, but Jakob was looking up with incredulous eyes and a challenging determination.

The boy let a flash of hurt cross his face before he answered. "I know, Daddy... that's why." The innocence and honesty nearly levelled Daryl again; the way the boy caught onto his meaning, subtle though it was, the kid understood he was a different person, because Daryl knew exactly what sort of man the boy's father was and he was sure he would never be like that.

"Good." he nodded before looking to Beth, remembering Jakob's words the previous night. "She carin' fer ya like your momma?" It wasn't a question, it was more a reaffirming that Beth loved the kid and wasn't leaving him either.

Jakob nodded. "But I miss my old mommy too...only some days."

Beth leaned forward and squeezed the child's shoulder. "You don't have to call me mom if you don't want to, Beth is okay." Jakob shook his head and Beth smiled, understanding the boy was nervous now. "But I like the way it sounds when you say it" she grinned, which received a bright smile from Jakob. "But we won't forget your first mommy, okay?"

Jakob climbed out of his chair and gave Beth a hug, before rounding on Daryl and doing the same. Daryl felt uncomfortable at the gesture, but awkwardly slung an arm over the boy's back. "Go on, git', Wanna see a card tower 'fore I leave, k?"

Jakob nodded and crossed to get the cards and started building instantly.

When Daryl looked up, Beth was already clearing the plates and he wondered how such a mundane task seemed so beautiful when she did it. He shook that thought from his mind, before pulling his back pack out and throwing a water bottle and something to eat in it and crossing to his bow, making sure it was ready and placing the items by the door.

He wondered briefly how he should go about this now, whether he should go and say good bye, or just announce it from the door, or just leave like he usually did. By the time he had thought what to do first he realized he had crossed the room and was standing by Beth, who was drying her hands from washing the dishes and looking up at him, looking like she wanted something.

He cleared his throat before muttering. "See ya," and slapped her arm gently.

Beth scoffed softly, which made him look back to her. She ignored her action and simply smiled up at him. "See ya."

The word didn't match her face and he understood why, he shifted on his feet. "Doin' it wrong ain't I?" it was a statement, not a question. He knew he should do something more after their conversation last night, but had no idea what was appropriate.

Beth shrugged understandingly, "Nothing's wrong, Daryl. You do it how it feels right? We'll work it out eventually." Truth was Beth never expected him to be all that affectionate, or be big on goodbyes and hellos… that just didn't really seem like Daryl, she didn't expect him to change and she was ok with that.

He couldn't tear his eyes from hers, until the realization hit that he didn't know what was right, he'd never had someone to say _goodbye, hope I'll be back,_ to before. He decided honesty with Beth had never failed him, not that honesty did much to hide the shame he felt as he admitted, "Dun' know what I'm meant ta do...or say... maybe I need ya ta tell me?"

Beth smiled, "It's ok, Daryl, you don't have to think about it so much, it's not like this is the last time we're going to see each other." She said the words and in all honesty she believed them, but the slight nagging worry that they might be untrue stabbed at the corners of her mind, but she swallowed that away.

"'K...see ya." Daryl attempted to pat her on the shoulder again and leave it at that, but as he swung his hand up, he realized he didn't want to let go. He squeezed her arm and then he had some idea of what he was meant to do, because he'd seen enough couples saying goodbye on runs, that there was a recognition, no matter how foreign it felt, that, this was somehow appropriate, so he leaned down and pressed his lips rather quickly to her cheek, before pulling back and waiting, hoping that that was ok.

He received a gentle smile and then, without warning, Beth leaned up and pressed her lips to his, only for a moment, but it happened, he couldn't seem to make his own respond, but she seemed to be smiling regardless of that fact. "Oh." he managed to mumble before clearing his throat. "that works." He was aware of the kiss they shared a few weeks ago, but that had been out of frustration and he didn't remember the drunken one, although by the ease of their last kiss he thought maybe he did remember it somewhere in him, but this… this was so different, this actually had his cheeks redden a little bit and had his lips tingling, this was something completely different altogether.

Beth could see the cogs moving and was sure she had done the right thing. Still, she felt a little sorry for Daryl who looked as if he couldn't quite keep up. "Get outta here Daryl, I'll see you tonight. Be safe."

He let a small smile play on his lips before nodding and crossing to the door and looking to Jakob who sat on the mat, playing with the cards "I'll grab ya some toys hey...see ya, mate."

Jakob looked up with a grin, but he had no reply. Daryl glanced back at Beth, burning the sight of her into his memory before closing the door and heading out.

* * *

Beth busied herself for the day, cleaning up. She was starting to take a stockpile for their travels; they'd only stay here another month before winter passed and they could start their journey back to their family. She spent some time washing clothes, then did some drawing with Jakob, while he told her about his first family. They were interrupted by two walkers during the day that tripped their makeshift alarm. They had been easy enough to deal with, but that slight dreaded fear that used to be so common settled in the pit of her stomach again, with so few walkers recently, it had been easy to forget they existed. By dinner time, Beth was growing a little concerned about Daryl, but knowing he could take care of himself she pushed the worry that had rested in the pit of her stomach away.

Her and Jakob ate their dinner , and Daryl's sat on the bench, as a reminder that he wasn't home. It was well past dark and Beth reminded herself that he didn't like to travel at night, _too many ways to sneak up on ya_ he said. Perhaps he'd stopped to make camp somewhere, it wasn't even walkers that she worried about, it was people. That thought settled fear into her heart and she was glad when Jakob tore her from her thoughts.

"Is he coming home?"

"Of course, sweetheart." she smiled.

"My other daddy didn't." the admission, was honest and a little too sad for Beth to contemplate.

She smiled softly, as she held the boy's hand. "Daryl's different. He said he'll be back, nothing will stop him."

She couldn't miss the stray tear that dropped down his face and it caused her to pull him onto her lap. "Hey, it's ok. He'll be home soon enough."

Jakob took a deep breath before letting out the words that he had kept silent for so long. "I couldn't climb back up."

Beth rocked him slightly. "Up what, honey?"

"The tree."

That simple admission had Beth falter in her movements for a moment. "Hm?"

"After mommy got bited, she put me and Hope up there with food and told me to call someone when I saw them. She said we would be safe...that she'd keep the other walkers away and people would see her and come to put her down and then I could call them."

Beth squeezed her eyes shut before asking. "Then what?"

It took a few moments for him to answer her. "Then I stayed up there for two days...and then when I was sleeping I fell down and mommy wouldn't let me back up, she was trying to bite me..."

Beth rubbed his head soothingly and waited for him to finish. "And then the next day Hope didn't cry anymore... so I hided in another tree and two days later I saw you, and I followed you home, but I was scared, so I hided with the chickens."

Beth felt the tears flowing freely as she drew in a shaky breath. She did her best to make her voice even . "We will never leave you, ok?"

"I know." Jakob answered and it was so simple that Beth thought he may have thought about that before.

"C'mon let's go to sleep."

"Will you sing me that song?" Jakob asked hopefully, and smiled when Beth nodded.

* * *

Before long Beth was lying in what seemed to be an incredibly empty bed cradling Jakob and hoping that they weren't alone in the world. Her eyes refused to close, so many thoughts running through her mind. She kept thinking about how alone Jakob must have felt, how he had lived in their chicken shed for three weeks without them, fighting for his life, hiding from walkers and her heart ached at that because no child should have to do that alone and then her mind drifted to Daryl. Where was he? Was he OK? Was he carted off by some awful people, beaten and held hostage, or would they have killed him quickly? Or was he sitting by a campfire roasting a squirrel pissed that it was dark? Her relief finally came in the early hours of the morning when she heard the door creak and a familiar voice.

"Just me."

She slipped the knife she had grabbed under the pillow, the moment she heard feet shuffling and waited until he crossed to her. It seemed to take him forever to change his clothes and wash his arms and climb into bed. He huffed as he got comfortable and a moment later Beth felt him laying a hesitant arm over her waist and all her fears drained in that moment.

"I was so worried, Daryl." she admitted as she reluctantly tore her arm from Jakob to squeeze the arm that now wrapped around her.

"Ain't gotta be fussin' over me."

Beth huffed slightly. "I can't help it Daryl, I'd be so lost if something happened to y..."

She was cut of by the amazing feeling of his lips on the back of her neck. "S'at ok?" Beth nodded while biting her lip in an attempt to not look like a grinning fool. "Ain't ever gonna leave ya, little bird." and he followed that up with another kiss, slightly gentler, and Beth shivered at the feel of his chin hairs scratching across to her shoulder where he placed another kiss.

Beth wondered briefly how he turned from Daryl to this, tender and gentle person, it was remarkable, but then she also felt some normalcy in it, some recognition that this is how it was supposed to be… maybe he'd felt that too?

He sat up slightly, before beginning. "Met some people taday, went back ta meet their people, they got old ones and kids, they're your people, Beth."

"My people?" she asked as she turned to look at him.

He shrugged. "The good ones, said they'll help us out, I waited a while 'fore I told 'em bout you n Jake, but they're willing to talk with us."

"Can we trust them?"

"Can't trust no one no more, Beth, but they seem genuine... I've heard about 'em, back at the prison, just never got around to findin' 'em."

Beth smiled. "Good." er breath hitched slightly when she felt Daryl's hand run a little higher up her stomach. She contemplated silence in an attempt to see where that was going to go, but the words spilled out without her permission. "Jakob told me about Hope today."

"Hmm?"

"He said his mom put them up there to keep them safe. He fell out and couldn't get back up to care for her...he had to listen to her dying." The words were barley a whisper and Daryl's face seemed to be as pained as her own.

Beth didn't know why she had to tell him, maybe the burden of thinking about the boy she loved so much having to endure something so painful was too heavy a burden to bear on her own, but regardless, she had said it and she had regretted it the moment it left her lips, but she knew that it had to be said.

Daryl rested his forehead on hers and whispered back. "Bet he was scared shitless, huh? Ya tell him we won't leave him like that?" his hand left her waist to rest on the boy's shoulder.

Beth nodded slightly and then she, with surprise felt his hard lips pressed onto her own, and somehow some small piece of pain was drawn out of her, and replaced with a small piece of love.

Daryl pulled back slightly and looked at her, looked _into _her, before finally voicing his silent question. "Is this okay?"

It meant more than, is kissing you or holding you okay? It was an all-encompassing question, is_ being this kind of family okay? Or is this moment okay? It was a, am I doing okay? Is this place, and our makeshift family good enough? Am I good enough? Will we be okay? All of us together, can we get through this? Can I share this sort of pain with you without you thinking I'm weak, is that okay?_

Beth nodded understanding the question completely. "It's very okay."

Daryl smiled slightly before bringing his hand up to her cheek and brushing away her stray tears, "Thought you didn't cry anymore." he teased, but it was said more like a wish that a joke.

Then he leaned down and placed another gentle kiss on her mouth, before pulling back and looking a little nervous, but then after her encouraging smile he placed another one there, and then another, and another until she allowed him to deepen it, a little to his surprise, and then he felt it, a calm, a silence to his thoughts as they lazily kissed, carefully exploring, and it occurred to him, that this was something he'd never done before either, and the entire thing was completely overwhelming, he drew back, and smiled at the amazing woman that he held in his arms, so surprised that he had earned her affection, and then he looked past her, to the little bundle in the bed, this little boy, this child... his child, because he understood it now, what it meant to be a father, to care for someone so completely, the need to protect them, he suddenly understood all the conversations he had had with Rick about Carl, because he felt it now, that overpowering need, and it levelled him, and then his thoughts went back to her, this girl...this woman that had knocked down his walls and set up camp in his heart, and he knew by her smile, that she understood, something he didn't, that she might understand all that he was thinking, and that completely terrified him, but it also gave him a peace he had never known.

"C'mon." he nudged her beck a little so that he could reach his arm over her and wrap it around his boy, holding them both in one secure embrace, and although he had done this the night before, this felt so different because, tonight he did it with the knowledge of who they were.

And Beth's smile as she settled into his arms, told him that she knew exactly what he was feeling, and he wondered idly if she understood so well because she felt it too.


	32. Shes somethin' else

The entire day had seemed a little off-kilter, a little strained, but it was thrilling at the same time, all new and awkward and full of mistakes. It was glorious.

There were lots of stolen glances and tentative touches and every moment he was there Daryl seemed to be smiling at her, reaching for her at every opportunity, curling her hair around his fingers, or just leaning close enough to her, that his shoulder or leg rubbed against her own. During dinner he had rested the toe of his boot on hers and Beth felt the weight of it, not as some teenage footsie game, but as a possessive move to keep her seated. Which was just as well because when he smiled a genuine smile at her, it was something Jakob had said that had caused it, but as he directed it to her she thought she might fly off into the air if it wasn't for his boot keeping her grounded.

There had been the really awkward moments, like just after breakfast when they were talking about the day's plans and Daryl had leaned down to kiss her and Beth had pushed up and their faces collided with an unsure, messy bump, leaving them both reeling at the shock of it. Not that it stopped either one of them from trying again moments later.

There had been the thrillingly unsure moments like in the afternoon when Jakob had sat in front of the couch playing with his cars and had requested Beth to read Tarzan. It had been brought back in his pack that Daryl had retrieved and Beth was thankful for something child-appropriate to read. She had leaned back against the arm of the chair and swung her legs over Daryl's lap, wondering if he was going to protest, but he didn't say anything so she just began reading and after a short while she felt him running his hands up and down her legs. She had glanced at him a few times, but he seemed to be far away.

Jakob had commented that Beth read better than his first mom and a few chapters later she put the book down and let her head loll back. Daryl was already snoozing with one hand still on her shins, but the other had slipped down her thigh so that his fingers curled around and sat deliciously close to her centre. Despite him being asleep, the feeling left her buzzing with delight. Beth smiled at the intimacy of it, because she'd never thought that in this world now, after all they had lost she would ever have a moment to be like this, uncertain and nervous and excited. Daryl had awoken a short while later with a jolt, causing his hand to grip almost painfully onto Beth's upper thigh and when her eyes shot open she caught his embarrassed face as he moved his hand back to rest on her knee.

It was unusual being like this with Daryl and him being so keenly affectionate, but somehow it made sense. Jakob made it make sense, as if his presence had forced them together, neither of them willing to protest. It had hit Beth hard when she realized this was what she wanted and although she suspected Daryl had had the idea for alot longer than her, she thought perhaps it had hit him just as fiercely and unforgivingly.

All of it together just left Beth with the thrill that only a new relationship can hold; it was fun and new and definitely enjoyable. Yes it was awkward and sometimes left her a little unbalanced, as she was now with Daryl looking at her, wearing a frown as if he were unhappy and yet not willing to drag his eyes away from her body.

"Is this not okay?" Beth asked. She knew it was a quick change, but they'd been waiting so long. It had been nearly two months since they'd admitted their feelings and, even though this was new, she was so ready to move it along. She looked down, wondering if she'd acted too quickly, her fingers playing with the hem of the small silk nightgown.

Daryl finally lifted his eyes. "S' okay." He shrugged slightly. "Ya can wear whatever ya wanna wear."

Beth smiled coyly, remembering the last time she'd attempted to wear this, he had told her she looked like a slut. "Do you...want me to wear it?" Her question was unsure and she was a little nervous about the whole thing, but the sparkle in his eyes settled her stomach a little.

"Ain't too warm." He offered, unwilling to admit how nice he thought it was.

Beth smiled shyly. "Maybe I should go and change." She answered feeling a little unsure about his answer. When she thought about it, this had been an official thing for what...24 hours? Yeah this was too quick.

Daryl watched her turn, watched the way the silk hugged her tiny frame. He had always been aware of how beautiful she was, but he'd always pushed those thoughts far away, maybe this time he didn't have to."You don't have to…" Which was really his equivalent of him begging her not to. He felt his innards clench, but he wasn't stupid, he knew what she was trying to do and he liked it. "Mean, I can keep ya warm... if ya want." He couldn't look at her, nerves at the fear of her rejecting that idea twisting him into knots even though there was no mistaking that she would like that very much… it just seemed too unbelievable.

Beth turned again. "You like it?" She sounded a little too hopeful and the sound of her voice made him grin.

"Pfft yeah." He scoffed, before wiping his face, in an attempt to cover his reaction. "Just don't want you doing nothing 'cause ya think I want ya to," He explained. "Just want ya to be happy, no rushin' 'cause of me."

Beth looked back to him, losing her shyness with his admission. "You make me happy Daryl." She stated and with that she crossed to him and reached up, placing a kiss on his cheek, grinning wildly at the feel of his hands automatically going to her sides, the feeling of his fingers sliding against her ribs sending shivers down her spine.

Beth kissed his mouth and it seemed only a second later that his tongue was invading her own and he had pushed her onto the table, her legs automatically spreading around his hips and she was kissing him, or letting him kiss her… she was a little too lost in the feeling to really be doing much of anything but enjoying it. His shy hands ran over her back, over her shoulders, lingered around her neck, as if he were committing everything to memory. Her breath hitched as his hands dropped slightly lower, but then they disappeared wrapping themselves around her waist again before they got anywhere too intimate.

Beth groaned slightly with disappointment, but perked up when she felt one of his hands brought back, massaging her neck. It was the hand with the stubbed finger and the feeling of the shortened digit made her giggle slightly, which was enough to encourage him to drag his mouth from hers to her neck, where he placed a bunch of heated open-mouthed kisses, forcing Beth to drop her head back and arch her back, pushing her whole torso into his chest. He groaned with approval before returning his mouth to hers and, unwilling to break the contact of their bodies, he leaned further forward until he could feel everything: the way her chest pushed against his, every breath she took. The feeling was overwhelming and he felt his legs buckle slightly.

He pulled back for a moment, chest heaving at the excitement of it all and dropped his head trying to regain control for a moment. He glanced over to Jakob who was fast asleep, tummy down and his little face buried somewhere in OneEye's back. He glanced to the bed and briefly thought about hitching Beth up on his hips and carrying her to that, but then the thought of what he'd do to her there stopped him from doing that, so he looked back to her and frowned at the beaming smile she wore. Suddenly he felt himself pushed back a little, then dragged by his hand to the bed regardless of him thinking that was a firm no go zone for the moment.

The sight of her climbing across the bed with her best come-hither look was irresistible and Daryl followed her, barely an inch behind. Beth rolled under him and gave him an obvious up-and-down look before smiling and leaning up to kiss him. Somehow it was a little nervous and messy for a moment, but it didn't take long for them both to catch up. Daryl leaned down into her, trying not to crush her with his weight and trying to position himself so that his hardness didn't rub against her too much, but she seemed to like the feeling of him atop her and pulled him into her harder, kissing him as if they were never going to get the opportunity to do it again.

He leaned down and kissed her neck again, loving the feeling of her arching into him and wrapping her hands into his hair. She was making some sort of noise between a pleasurable grunt and a contented sigh and her hands slipped from his hair to explore his shoulders; then, as he retook her lips, they explored his chest, idly working on a button or two. Daryl tried kissing his way across to her ear where he decided to nibble gently, which had Beth squirming, her legs moving around him again so his hardness pushed into her for a moment before he pulled back. Beth let out a squeamish giggle at the feeling and Daryl regretted the action feeling he should have been more careful, but soon enough her handswere leaving his shirt and going to his belt.

Daryl groaned at the feeling of her knuckles knocking his sensitive lower stomach, before he realized what she was doing. He kissed her once more before pulling back a little and capturing her two small hands with just one of his own.

He shook his head slightly, although it wasn't really convincing, as he attempted to say, "Nah, Beth." But it came out as more of a mutter, when he again became distracted with the soft skin on her neck. Beth seemed to get it though and returned to a more lazy exploration of his chest. Daryl's hands wandered of their own accord, one managed to stay tangled in her hair but the other slipped from her neck between her breasts and around her ribs, then made its way to her hips and over her thigh for a fraction of a second. His fingers caught the hem of her negligee and he felt the bare skin, soft and smooth and so different from his, causing his breath to hitch slightly as he whipped his hand up. It landed on her stomach, then slowly travelled lower, but stayed within a safe area. Beth bucked her hips up, trying to give him the hint that she wanted more, but the hand ran back up to her ribs, carefully skimming each rib, and he idly thought he'd have to feed her up a little more. As his thumb hit the underside of her breast all thoughts were whipped away and he ran his hand back down a little, which earned him the softest of bites on his lips before her hand pulled his up to cover her breast. She sighed again and he couldn't help but pull it away, regardless of her arching into his touch.

He didn't realize how much he had pulled away until he saw her eyes searching his and he heard her quiet voice. "Daryl?"

He tried a smile, but it didn't stick well.

"What's wrong?"Beth questioned, wondering if she had done something wrong.

Daryl shook his head slightly before leaning in and kissing her once more and rolling to the side of her.

Beth worried for a moment, before deciding to turn and look at him. "Did I do something you didn't like?"

"Nah Beth, not at all." He tried to sound reassuring but his voice didn't do that tender stuff, so he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

She swallowed hard before looking back to him. "...Then why'd you wanna stop?" Beth thought back to what they'd been doing; maybe he didn't like the feel of her chest, it was pretty small. She rolled her eyes at that thought, worrying about how you looked nowadays wasn't really a concern, but it still crossed her mind. It's not like you could just go shopping for a push-up bra nowadays, though that poster she'd seen in Merle's room made her think about it. Before the turn Maggie had always teased her telling her she looked like a boy, but always reassuring her that she'd grow, she just hadn't really. She suddenly felt self conscious and attempted to pull the negligee up a little. "Sorry, if I'm not...ideal, but..."

Daryl couldn't stop the frown on his face as he watched her trying futilely to cover herself, her swollen lips trembling slightly, her eyes darting everywhere. She looked nervous and that wasn't what she was supposed to look like. "What do ya mean?" He asked, confused about her actions.

Beth looked away coyly. "Well you know, you were...sorry…I got a guy's chest, I know..." She dared a glance, but his face seemed so concerned it embarrassed her. "I mean, you know, I get if it's a bit of a turn- off."

Daryl chuckled slightly before pulling her in for a hug. He could tell she still felt nervous, the way one hand tried to cover over her chest and the other absently moved around him. "Ain't a damn bit on ya that's a turn-off, Beth."

She furrowed her brow and pushed back on his chest so she could see him again. "Then, why'd ya wanna stop?"

Daryl's face reddened slightly, "Didn' wanna, just should."

Beth shook her head in reply. "Why?"

Daryl shrugged slightly, "Can't, ya know...do that stuff with ya." His eyes unconsciously flicked to her breasts. He hadn't taken the time to plan any of this out.

"Why?" Her question was genuine and almost held a little hurt.

"I dun know...I'm me and you're...you're you, someone like me shouldn't...shouldn't be doin' this, any of this... 's just wrong touchin' ya like that, Beth." He sounded ashamed and maybe afraid and a little expectant that she'd slap him or something.

Beth took in a deep breath. "Is this how it's always going to be?" She questioned, receiving an unsure look. "I mean, we're like together right... and you're never going to... do anything with me?" His face looked a little lost, but she continued. "We're just going to be a couple that makes out and nothing more? I'm going to die a virgin, because of your stupid principles?" She was a little annoyed at him, somewhere in the back of her mind she thought it was sweet, but mostly it was annoying that he was back to that again.

Daryl swallowed and shifted a little, made uncomfortable by her words, he definitely hadn't thought it through. The last day or so had been a complete rollercoaster, it had all happened so quickly that he hadn't thought, he'd just acted. He groaned slightly before he just admitted the truth. "First time should be special...ya know with someone special, someone...that's all the things I ain't, just not ... someone like me." He didn't look at her now, just stared somewhere that wasn't at her.

Beth sat up a little and tugged his face to hers by his chin hairs. "You listen to me, Mister Dixon, I don't want any of that self-loathing bullshit, I want you! You're special and who the hell do you think you are deciding who I can pick? I've picked you and you can take all the time you want, but I'm not going anywhere and I'm not picking anyone else, so unless you really find me repulsive, you've got no say in the matter."

Daryl smiled slightly, he loved it when she bossed him around. He'd never tell her or anyone else that, but he did love it.

"Now, are we gonna' do this thing or not?" Beth questioned.

She was right, he knew she was, but what if she changed her mind? What if when they caught up with everyone, she just realized she was bored and lonely? That wasn't something he was willing to risk. A few make-out sessions, she could blow that off and pretend it never happened, he couldn't let her do anything else though, not if he wanted her friendship at the end of this. As much as he wanted her now, having her in the long run was more important, not hurting her was more important. Although he'd already let it go much too far for that, probably only because he did want her so bad, but half a mile was not a mile and it's no point saying it is and walking the rest.

He sighed. "Just need time Beth, just give it time. If ya still want this in a bit then we can, just don't want ya wasting ya'self on me and regrettin' it."

Beth let out an exasperated breath. "This is getting old quick Daryl, I'm already regretting you!" The first half of that sentence was serious, but the rest was meant to sound teasing, but by the way his body went rigid and the lack of response she knew he'd misunderstood. She sat back up and leaned over him, kissing him softly. "Looks like I'm a glutton for punishment and you always tell me you're not smart, so I guess it's gonna take a while to get it into your head that I'm not changing my mind." She kissed him again.

Daryl gave her a tight-lipped smile, "Dun' mean ta muck ya 'round,Beth, just gotta' know. I mean, girls change their minds more than ya change ya undies and I'd hate ta have ya regrettin' it, just 'causeI couldn't do the right thing by ya, Beth. Won't let that happen."

The honest admission melted her frustration, as he always did. "You know, Daryl, if you were the piece of crap you think you are, you wouldn't care about that, you'd just be tryna bed me and then leave me to the walkers once you got what you wanted. It's kinda nice that you're tryna to be so gentlemanly… annoying and frustrating, but really sweet, just makes me love ya more."Beth admitted.

Daryl leaned up and kissed her again. "Ain't got nothing left but you; gotta do right by ya."

Beth smiled because she realized that she'd just admitted her love and she realized Daryl hadn't flinched away from that and, in actual fact, he had just admitted his and it was all too heavy for her. "...And them." She motioned to Jakob and OneEye.

Daryl smiled and kissed her again, a little longer and deeper than the first, before rolling off the bed and retrieving Jakob, bringing him back and plopping him under the covers on Beth's side before they both climbed in and huddled against one another, Beth's arm over the child and Daryl's arm over her.

"How'd ya get ta wantin' an old redneck like me anyway?" It was a statement of disbelief more than a question and a small kiss graced her neck to accompany it.

Beth smiled. "'Bout the same way you got to wanting a little dead girl like me."

Daryl chuckled slightly, realizing for the first time that he wasn't the only one in disbelief that the person beside them could care like they do. "Ya ain't no dead girl no more."He reassured her. With that he nipped her neck softly, feeling that thudding buzz in his chest again and for some odd reason he felt the need to say _I love you. _That was ridiculous, because he'd never said that to anyone, but the want to say it was there now.

Of course he wouldn't, but he pulled her a little closer to him, not worried about his hardness pushing into her, which had her squirming and a letting out hitched, almost-giggle breaths as she pulled away, then decided against it, then changed her mind a few times before he pulled his hips back and let her relax into his chest. He was not worried that she might think him a fool for loving her, not worried about walkers, not worried about what her sister was going to say, not worried if she was going to change her mind one day; he was concerned only with the feeling of her in his arms, and his boy in her arms, amazed still that he could have all this and so happy.

And somewhere in him he knew she was never going to change her mind and run out on him, because she was Beth and Beth was somethin' else.


	33. Markin' 'em or somthin'

Beth was making a cake, it was nothing fancy and wasn't particularly sweet…there was little you could do with so few ingredients, but she wanted one for the celebration. Daryl had brought back a decent amount of supplies, but there was alot that he hadn't been able to find. Supplies were running out more often than not and it was rarer and rarer to find anything of use. Almost all food had expired, not that that really mattered, in this world food was food; still, choices were few.

Beth eyed the boys curiously. She couldn't see the gift Daryl had presented. He'd been sitting on the coffee table with his back to her when he had given it to Jakob, although she couldn't miss the boy's beaming smile and the way he threw his arms around Daryl, who'd actually responded.

It was only half a second later that Jakob came blundering over to her with three small toy cars, red, blue and yellow, in hand. "Look, Mom!" He smiled.

"Oh wow, they're lovely aren't they!" She smiled at him.

Jakob nodded. "I've never had real toys before!" The child beamed.

That admission made Beth a little sad because she hadn't considered it before, but with this life being so about survival, it made sense that a real toy was few and far between. "Well you're pretty lucky aren't you?"

"Have you had a present before?" Jakob questioned as he ran the cars along the bench, once around her waist, to the other side of the bench, where they went into four-wheel drive over the utensils.

"Yeah Jake, back in C block...remember our home I told you about?" He nodded as Beth continued mixing. "Daryl and Michonne used to bring back presents all the time!" She smiled at the memory.

"Michonne with the sword?" Jakob remembered the woman from the pictures Beth had drawn when explaining their family.

"Yeah that's her. I remember the last thing they brought back was some Lego for Patrick...the boy with the glasses," She explained.

"What's Lego?"

Which caused Daryl to pipe up. "You ain'tever had Legos? We're gonna fix that."

Jakob smiled back to him before asking the question, eyes peeking over the counter. "Did you get something for Mommy?"

"Mhm."Daryl nodded slightly.

Beth looked up to him, brow furrowed, a little surprised.

He pulled the brown lunch bag out of his pocket and put it on the bench. Beth eyed it curiously before wiping the cake mix of her hand and picking it up. She reached in the bag and pulled out cotton balls, some sewing equipment, an inkpot and a chap stick.

"Thought we better get started on that list of yours." Daryl answered her confused look.

"What is it?"

Daryl shrugged. "That there's how ya make a tattoo." He stated. "Only if ya still want to." She had seemed so sad the day they had found Jake when she realized she couldn't complete it and there weren't many options, tattoo was one of the few things he could help her with.

Beth smiled, putting the contents back in the bag and spooning the recipe mix into the old cake tin.

"How much does it hurt?" She questioned.

Daryl shrugged as he watched her place a bowl in a metal toolbox and the tin on top and crossed to the fire placing their makeshift oven into the coals. "Fair bit, I guess, ain't nothing though...'parently girls take it better 'n guys anyway."

Apparently that was enough to convince Beth because she crossed to her night drawer and pulled out a few pieces of paper. She sifted through them before finding the one she had decided on and brought it back to him.

"What's this?" Daryl asked.

"I never thought I was getting one, but sometimes when Jake's drawing, I draw up ideas that I'd like. This is the one I want." She briefly wondered if they were there yet. Comfortable enough to show him that she wanted a tattoo that wielded his crossbow, without him getting all defensive about her changing her mind.

Daryl looked to the piece of paper. It was an interesting picture, a flower on the left and a crossbow sort of tangled up in it on the right. "What is it?" He asked again.

Beth gauged his reaction before realizing he wasn't upset about it. "It's my story...it's what I love," She smiled and explained. She started by pointing to the seed, from where the crossbow and the flower both grew. "This is my dad, because it's more than a seed, it's victory. He always believed life would go on, that it would find a way to renew itself, so that's for him," She pointed to the crescent shape on the bottom of the seed, "That's a C for C-Block, our home..." Then her finger ran to the crossbow, "That's you, because you taught me how to live." She didn't voice the silent _again, _which would've changed the meaning of that statement altogether_. "_And the arrow, that means I'll fight, I won't go down quietly anymore, won't opt out, I want to live." Then her finger dragged to the flower, "That's Jakob, because he made me believe again, and that," She pointed to the centre of the flower which upon close inspection was an eye. "That reminds me to be careful, watchful, and it also reminds me of OneEye." Finally, her finger drifted back to the crossbow, to the word _Hope_, "That's her, because I'll never forget her, but it's also hope for the future, that I'll find Maggie again, our family again."

Beth drew her finger back and looked at Daryl, his quizzical look made her nervous. "Is it stupid?"

"No..." He examined the picture again. It wasn't the cute, pretty tattoo he'd expected she'd want. It was simple and it did hold a beauty to it, but it was understated by its meaning, just like Beth. What first seemed pointless now looked so beautiful to him, as she had and now did, "Just thinkin' I want this on me too."

Beth poked his stomach playfully. "You want matching tattoos, Daryl Dixon?"

He scoffed. "Ain't like that."

She smiled, "Yes it is!" He shrugged before sending her a questioning look which made her smirk. "Yeah sure, Daryl, I'd love you to get this one, love ya to brand a piece of me on your skin...can we do it now?"Her voice was teasing, but it was serious at the same time.

He nodded before flipping the paper and tracing the picture, with a minor adjustment, his bow was a compound with an arm reaching out of the seed holding it, instead of the crossbow handle and then he added a little star on the wrist of the arm. He answered Beth's questioning look. "This is you, ain't gonna tattoo myself in such a meaningful picture." He pointed to the star. "'N Rick's badge, for all his honor'n shit...'cause he's my brother."

Beth's face held no humor to it when she answered. "You gonna tattoo me on you... that means you're not going to back out?"

Daryl looked at her, before looking back to the paper. "_I_ ain't gonna."

Beth let a wide smile spread across her face. She understood that was pretty much a lifetime commitment, coming from Daryl and she was a little overwhelmed by it. She reached up and kissed his cheek. "You better not, don't think I'd cope if you decided to get all on your principled high horse and dumped my ass."

Daryl shrugged. "Last time I got on a horse it threw me of a cliff...didn't much like it."

She nodded with a slight chuckle understanding his promise. She redirected the conversation before he got all skittish. "Where ya gonna put it?"

He shrugged. "Maybe here." He pointed to his inner arm, the one without a tattoo.

"I want mine here." Beth pointed to her right back hip area where her kidneys were.

"Tramp stamp?" Daryl teased.

Like usual Beth gracefully explained. "You know, David...from the Bible?"

"Some king, killed a giant?"

Beth nodded, "He did what the Israelites thought couldn't be done because they didn't have the faith he did...he was a poet too."

Daryl furrowed his brow, why the hell was she giving him a Sunday school lesson about some dead guy?

"He asked god to examine his heart and his kidneys, because that was the innermost part of a human... that's why I want it there, because I have faith we can survive this and because this is an essential part of me."

Daryl eyed her carefully. "Put a lot of thought into this, huh?"

She nodded and smiled when Jakob piped up. "I wanna help...and if you are both getting one, I want it too."

Daryl eyed the boy cautiously. "Ya want a tat? What are you five? Gotta be eighteen, kid."

Jakob defiantly held up seven fingers.

He was a little shocked to hear Beth's voice answer. "I think he can handle it. Ain't rules or ages no more Daryl."

Daryl scoffed at the thought before looking back to the boy. "You so dead set on getting one, ya got yer picture?"'

Jakob's resolve didn't waver. "I want an arrow with hope written on it and I want it here." He pointed to his chest.

Daryl grunted at that, before looking back to Beth. "You get that cake cooked while I set up huh? Gotta go find that moonshine we got left, use it ta clean the stuff, 'n numb the pain."

Beth nodded and let a small smile play on her lips, the idea that she was finally crossing something off her list made her feel that much closer to her sister for some reason, like somehow if everything else got crossed off and that was the last thing remanning she 'd just be a line on the page away from her. Then she huffed a hidden laugh of excitement. What else were her and Daryl going to cross off together?

* * *

Daryl flopped back on the bed, Jakob in between them and smiled, "Well, that's bad parenting." He commented.

He thought about what had just happened. He'd begun with Beth who'd taken a generous gulp of moonshine before lying across the kitchen table, pants twisted off her hips and shirt rolled up much higher than it had to be. Daryl had rubbed the alcohol on her skin and she had jumped at the first prick, but only squirmed minimally as he continued. He could hear by her small grunts and groans that it had hurt, but she didn't complain. She had stood eyeing his handy work in the bathroom mirror before he rubbed it with the Vaseline lip-gloss and covered it with some plastic.

Jakob had actually pitched his first fit when Daryl said no about letting him have one, so he relented and wiped the skin on the boy's hand with moonshine and tattooed a tiny star, in the same place that he had his own. The boy winced with the pain and Daryl thought that might be enough to scare him off.

Daryl then got to work on his own tattoo and upon completion forty minutes later, showed it off victoriously to Beth, before chap sticking it and wrapping it, and then Jakob was looking up at him promising he could handle it, and Daryl was considering saying yes, when he caught Beth's look. "Let him live a little." She smiled.

And with that Daryl motioned the boy over, gave him the smallest sip of the moonshine, which the boy coughed up and sprayed in his face, causing Beth to giggle before handing Jakob a glass of water which he gratefully snatched away, desperately trying to ease the burning sensation.

He'd gathered himself, pulled his little shirt over his head and laid down, watery eyes burning from the moonshine and blinked up at Daryl, who'd decided that really there was no reason that this would be such a terrible idea, so he'd started with a small arrow, before adding the tip and then writing. 'Hope.' in small letters across the top. It had only taken him fifteen minutes to do and was so thin it would fade with age, but the boy hadn't even squirmed, he had just squeezed his eyes shut and held onto Beth's hand with his little vice grip. Daryl picked him up and held him to the bathroom mirror and was pleased with the smile the boy gave, him. He'd treated the new wound and packed up the gear before looking over to his family, Beth and Jakob laying on the bed, Beth stomach-down and Jakob back-down and that damn ugly dog somewhere near their heads, and he couldn't miss the stupid smiles from them.

* * *

"Jacob's okay with our parenting, aren't you?' She asked and received an enthusiastic nod before the boy lolled his head in Daryl's direction.

"How long's it meant to hurt for?" He asked.

Beth burst into fits of laughter, which had Jakob joining her.

Daryl shrugged, "Should be gone by morning..." He answered. "Then we can head over ta that camp, 'bout four hours walk."

Beth nodded and reached over Jacob's stomach to find Daryl's hand. "Thankyou." She mouthed and it was more than just 'thanks for the ink,' it was some sort of thanks for bonding this little family.

Daryl closed his eyes and took a deep breath; this was his, he'd marked them and now there was no going back. That was something he was a little guilty over but defiantly okay with.


	34. Something to talk about

Beth stepped out of the RV that had been offered to them when they chose to stay at the camp. It was old and the motor had been stripped for parts, but the inside was alright. It held a table with a bench seat that could double as two single beds and a cupboard for clothes, a small sink, a double bed and a small bathroom in the back corner.

Daryl was crouched on the step cleaning blood off his crossbow, a sight that had become so normal to Beth now she stepped past him and sat on the chair, leaning back and then flinching forward as the chair pressed on her new tattoo. She re-adjusted herself and leaned back again, watching Daryl.

It made her flinch inwardly that it wasn't disgusting to her anymore. She remembered watching him do this a few years ago and her stomach had turned at the smell. Daryl seemed so unfazed by it, she couldn't understand then, but she did now, she didn't even really smell the rotten flesh anymore. He flicked a piece of brain matter from the corner of the string with a stick and even that didn't have her reeling with disgust. Beth wondered when it had become so painfully normal.

When had it become normal to Daryl? He'd always been an animal, the turn hadn't hardened him, if anything it had softened him and the thought of how bad his life must have been before this sent a chill down her spine and an ache to her heart. She looked at him instead of the bow, there was blood all over his shoulder and it had run down his arm and dried in a thick paste, and the grossest thing about that was it didn't even look disgusting to her. He still looked great.

He felt her eyes on him and glanced up. She smiled, noticing the blood on his face; it had been wiped away, but there were small traces that sat in the lines of his face. It wasn't gruesome at all. She remembered the first time she had really seen him like that, when Rick and Shane had dragged him across that field, T-Dog and Glenn in tow, T-Dog holding Sophia's doll. Daryl had been a sight alright, he was so bloodied up and the disturbing thing was that most of it wasn't the bright fresh type that came from him, most of it was the rotten stuff, except for the bright color that spewed out of his mouth, vibrant against the rest of him, like the red poppy of a war zone.

Beth wondered now if that was his own or if he had bitten into something, she knew he could do that after that day at the pharmacy, watching him rip out that man's jugular. She found it oddly satisfying knowing he could be like that when he had to. It was almost arousing, which she knew was really disturbing, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was supposed to be mildly afraid of that, but she wasn't.

"Is it true you had a necklace of ears?" she had wanted to ask him ever since Maggie had told her in hushed tones as they roamed the C-block fields, but until now she had always somewhere been a little afraid to ask.

Daryl didn't react like he normally did, his eyes didn't snap to hers, his hands didn't falter in their movements, he had nothing to hide, he finally understood that she accepted him, well most of him. "Who told ya that?"

"Maggie...Glenn told her. He was really concerned about it. Why'd you keep their ears? Was it to mask your smell?'

Daryl looked to Beth, he could be honest, he could share this stuff with her now and she wouldn't think he was a sissy for it. "Ya know that artist, the one that chopped his ear off an' painted sunflowers in vases, all that swirly shit, looks like a two-year-old got let loose with tha paints?"

"Van Gogh?"

Daryl nodded once before continuing "He 'ad this paintin', like red flowers in a field, real bright... after my mom died, right 'fore I left primary school my art teacher brought me a print of it, said sometimes we just have ta look for the small things. It was real nice ya know. I was a shit kid, always disruptin' the class, but she was nice anyway."

Beth smiled, if ever she met that teacher and by some miracle she was still alive, she'd be sure to give her a hug, but it still didn't answer her question."What's that got to do with the ear jewelry?"

Daryl shrugged. "People think he was crazy, 'cause he was mentally screwed... but his art, even though it looked like kids' paintin's, it was flawless, in a messy way, he was in control, despite his inner monsters."

Beth's mind wandered back to a review she was reading before the turn, she had a project on Van Gogh. "Longing for concision and grace." She added.

Daryl looked at her for a moment, "Yeah, some shit like that...anyway that's what I was thinkin' about, about bein' crazy, only in this world...I dun know I'm..." His voice trailed out, words failing him again.

"You found your equal... you didn't fit, but when the world turned upside down and back to front, suddenly, you were the one that understood, while everyone else couldn't... you being you made sense of a senseless world, like art made sense for Van Gogh... they were a symbol of recognition, that you were good at something, that it wasn't a choice, you had to be good at this or go insane." Beth wondered.

Daryl squinted at her, wondering how she got it, how she explained it so well, how she seemed to put words to his thought in a way he never could. "Yeah, sumfin' like that."

"You're smarter than you look Daryl Dixon." Beth grinned as she stretched her arm out and poked his ribs, earning her an annoyed shrug. "...What?"

He looked up and scanned the camp. "Don' do that…people got eyes."

"So what if they do." She eyed him carefully as he slumped a little. "Are you embarrassed of me?"

"Ain't that Beth." But the barely audible mumble did nothing to ease her conscience.

She let her eyes scan the camp before they settled back on him. "Who did you tell them I was?"

"Din' say nothin'... just said I had two more with me, a kid n' you."

Beth frowned. "What did you call me, when you mentioned me?"

He didn't look up just cleaned his bow, "Just said you were a young girl."

"Is that what I am to you?" She challenged, a little annoyed that he had tried to hide it.

"Ain't like that Beth, just don' want 'em thinkin'..."

"What about when they hear Jake call us mommy and daddy...didn't think that through did ya?"

Daryl looked at her. "Don' be like that, Beth."

She crossed her arms. "I'm not 'being like that,' you're the one apparently ashamed, you don't be like _that_."

Daryl huffed and looked back to his bow, "Just don' want 'em thinkin' I'm takin' advantage of ya s'all. They're good people, Beth…don't think they'd take too kindly to that."

Beth eyed him again gauging his reaction before answering. "Is that what you think is happening?"

Daryl shrugged. "Peach schnapps and all that."Beth frowned. "Jus you n me out there, just thinkin' maybe ya just wanted sumfin'... maybe that's changed now there's more people." He mumbled.

Beth sighed. "What on earth makes you think that?" She'd thought she had made it clear there was no going back and she was a little tired at the thought that she might have to tell him every day for the rest of her life.

Daryl looked to the ground. "Ya slept with Jake last night."

Beth smiled slightly to herself, she didn't miss the uncertainty that his voice held or the worry that flashed on his face. "Daryl, do you think I'd get Peach Schnapps tattooed on me? Don't really care how much you want out of this it's not gonna happen, not from my end." She took a deep breath before redirecting her thoughts. "He wanted me to sing to him, then I fell asleep, then when I went to come over OneEye was in my place so I just went back. Ain't changing my mind, Daryl...'n you better get over being embarrassed, because you're mine and don't think I didn't see them ladies looking at you yesterday. I gotta make it damn clear, otherwise they're gonna be trying to steal you away and I'll be boltin' them down before I let that happen, so whether they think you're some old perverted guy or not ain't none of my concern and it shouldn't be yours either, Daryl. I know you're shit at the feeling thing, I get that and I don't mind if you're real shy about, you know, doing stuff in front of people, but you try and get out of this." Beth motioned to the two of them. "And I will hunt you down like a dog, Daryl. You're not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere and Jake is not going anywhere and the sooner you realize that the better, because I do not want to have to explain that to you every other day."

Daryl couldn't help but stare at the woman that sat before him, telling him exactly how it was. She sure had her mind made up and there was a peace he found in that. He couldn't help the strange gooey filling in the pit of his stomach when she told him that he belonged to her, or when she forcefully stated that she'd not let him go. "Mhm." He agreed and that seemed to be enough for a moment.

It took another minute for Beth to screw her face up. "What are you anyway, like 50? The way you go on its ridiculous."

Daryl shrugged.

"Don't you shrug at me. I wanna know how old you are, it's not a state secret."

"Old enough."

Beth rolled her eyes; clearly he was never going to tell her. "Well okay, Pops..."

Daryl scowled at her before kicking her leg with a scoff. "Dun' call me that, Beth."

Her gaze shifted to the field where Jakob and OneEye were playing with a group of children. "We really should name him you know."

Daryl looked up. "Who?"

"OneEye."

"Thought you said you did, jus'won't tell me...Jake reckons ya told him, won't tell me though." Daryl answered as he started waxing the string.

"I'll tell you his name if you tell me how old you are." Beth challenged.

Daryl grunted and stood to walk inside. "Ya hungry? Making a sam'wich."

Beth nodded. "Thanks, pops."

She heard utensils clutter around for a moment before his voice called out. "''Bout 32 by now."

She smiled, doing the math on her fingers. "That's thirteen years, Daryl. Ain't as bad as you make it sound. My dad was 11 years older than my mum."

He didn't reply, just came back dropping a sandwich in her lap and nodding to the dog, prompting her to reveal its name.

"Daryl."

"Hm?" He looked at her eyebrows raised.

"I named him Daryl." She admitted.

Daryl scoffed as he chewed around a mouthful. "Ain't got much of an 'magination."

She shrugged. "I missed talking to you when you weren't around; not that you talked back much, back then."

Daryl kicked her boot with a smile. "Idiot."

Beth sent him a sly smile before looking back to the dog and the group of children. "Wonder what he was before this...who he belonged to?"

"Hunter...he's too good at survivin', catchin' rabbits." Daryl decided.

Beth watched the dog, playing and shook her head. "He belonged to a family with kids. Look at him."

Daryl shrugged. "Maybe...Jakes taken to calling him Slayer, since he saw him take down that stray walker."

"Slayer." Beth smiled. "I like it, 'OneEye Slayer.'"

"Namin' a stupid dog." Daryl scoffed. It wasn't that it was a stupid thing to do, it was just so unusual, but then this whole thing was unusual, sitting around like they were on some holy camp trip watching his boy play, talking... his girl, it was all pretty unimaginable. "My girl." He smiled, not hiding the affection in his eyes.

Beth turned to look at him. It was the first real time he had laid claim to her and it felt so nice to hear. "Yah and don't you forget it."

He sniffed in the macho way that Beth knew was pointless and only done to cover up the tenderness that he had just spoken with. "Goin' on a run day after 'morra."

"By yourself?"

"Nah, told these numskulls they should have a proper alarm rigged. Them walkers warmin' up 'gen, might start herdin', reckon everyone should have a car and supplies... thought the jail might have some stuff. Might be worth checkin' out, u'parently not much left in town. I dun know if anyone took the cars, but there should be food and meds, worth goin' back for. Hopin' the heard we left woulda disappeared by now." Beth took a deep breath at the thought of that."Ya want anything special?"

Beth thought for a moment. "Daddy had a pen, Otis gave him...I think it would be in the infirmary… if you can and Maggie had a necklace that mom gave her. She wasn't wearing it that day...'n Glenn had Daddy's watch."

"Glenn got the watch...think he probably got that necklace too but I'll 'ave a look."

"I know Sasha had a photo album. It only had like four photos but...oh and Sophia's doll...for Judith... if we find her; our cookie stash from the watchtower, oh and Carl…."

"Why don't ya make a list, I'll get what I can." He suggested.

"Yeah... can ya get some paper? I forgot my diary-turned-shopping list." Beth grinned.

Daryl sighed and reached in the dirty old leather vest and pulled out Beth's old diary that he carried on him constantly and handed it to her with a shrug to answer her questioning look, "So you named ya dog after me, I read ya diary."

Beth would've been annoyed, but then with a small smile she answered. "I wanted to talk to you and you wanted to listen."

"Hm" Daryl didn't answer, but he did inwardly agree; they fit pretty well.

Beth smiled before standing and crossing to Jakob who was chasing after a Frisbee with a group of other kids and she decided, grown woman or not, she could still play like a kid.

Daryl watched her, he was pretty lucky to have something as special as all this and he wasn't at all taking it for granted.


	35. Then you say something like

"What.' Beth questioned as she turned away, embarrassed.

She looked back over her shoulder; Daryl was in his typical ogling pose, flat on the bed, one hand propping his head up, other hand running over his chin. "Nothin'." He mumbled.

She reached for a clean shirt. "You make me nervous when you do that."

Daryl's brow furrowed. "Dun' need ta be nervous, ain't gonna make ya do nuthin' ya dun' wanna. 'Sides thought it was me sayin' no anyway."

She found the shirt she wanted and pulled it over her head. "I know... not nervous, embarrassed." She stated.

"Hm." Daryl huffed as he thought for a moment. "Why?"

Beth turned and obviously looked him up and down/ "Don't it make ya feel...I don't know...embarrassed?"

"U-uh."

"You wouldn't. 'Sides you never get dressed in front of me." She commented as she pulled her shorts off.

"Then why ya do it if ya so shy?"

Beth looked around the tiny van, her eyes glancing to the bathroom, where she had gotten stuck last night after trying to close the door. It wasn't just that, somewhere along the way it had just started happening, the cabin bathroom was so cold and the first time she did it during that time he was ignoring her, he had just averted his eyes himself. It was only in recent mornings that he had decided not to just roll over automatically. It had just become normal now, like so many other things, but this was the first morning he had stared so obviously and though she had caught him looking, the morning before, at least he'd had the decency to look away then. "Haven't got much choice and, unlike some people, I don't like sleeping in my clothes… besides, you've helped me get dressed and made me pee like four foot from you. There ain't no dignity anymore, there's no coming back from peeing in front of someone... well, you guys can get away with it, but not for girls. Anyway, I think it doesn't matter now... unless ya got a problem?" She asked as she pulled her pants up and buttoned them.

Daryl shook his head. "I dun' mind."

"Good, but you don't gotta be lookin' so hard. I keep thinking your eyes are going to pop out." She answered as she looped her belt through the tags on her jeans.

"Allowed ta look ain't I?" It was a challenge more than a question and it made Beth smile as she brushed her hair into a quick pony tail.

"I guess." She pulled the hair tie from between her teeth where she had held it. "Just...I don't know... don't make me embarrassed."

Daryl grinned slightly. "Yesterday, ya said I belonged to ya...dun' that mean ya mine too?"

Beth nodded, fixing her bracelets over the scars on her wrists. "Yeah."

"Then I can look at what's mine, however I wanna look at it" He shrugged. The statement was teasing enough but Beth didn't miss how he dropped his eyes and withdrew at his own forwardness.

She sighed, it was one thing being embarrassed, but Daryl was more than that, he was always like this even when they were just friends, he'd say or do something nice and then retract it, ashamed or almost afraid. "I don't want ya to be like that."

His eyes shot back to hers, the way he moved slightly was an obvious flinch. Beth continued before he spoke. "Mean I don't want ya to be shy, Daryl. Ya wanna tease me, or mess around, ya can without feeling like, I dunno, without doing that." She waved her hand to all of him.

He still didn't look up. "Don' meana, jus'..." He shrugged again which made Beth smile a little. At least he did wonders for her confidence; he was worse at this than her, so it gave her the upper hand right? She crossed to his side of the bed and swung a leg over him, holding in a giggle at the look of shock on his face.

"Okay, well you said.." She tried her best deep voice. "_I can look at what's mine however I wanna look at it_...so then I make some smart ass comment, like, _well ya can look all ya like, but don't you go touching_...and then..." She reached for his hands and placed them on her hips, deliberately pulling them under the baggy two sizes to big t-shirt she wore and sliding them up to her waist. "I dunno something like, _I do what I want with what's mine...woman."_' She giggled feeling completely stupid. "Then basically, ya don't feel bad about it...because I'm yours, and because you can say whatever you want and I'm not going to think it's dumb."

Daryl snorted a little. "Girl you're re'enactin' is as bad as ya readin." He commented before noticing Jakob shifting in his sleep and, pulling his hands out from Beth's shirt, they both eyed the boy cautiously before being satisfied that he hadn't awakened.

Beth let out the breath she had been holding and beamed a smile down to Daryl. "Well, I don't know what we're meant to say, but I'm trying."

Daryl's fingers prickled on her hips and he gave her one of those intense stares. "I _am_ tryin'."

"I know, that's not how I meant it...I just meant..." Beth's voice trailed off because she had a fair idea of what she meant, but no idea how to say it.

"I don't gotta be ashamed...for wantin ya." He still didn't look at Beth, but the small admission was enough to make her smile.

"You don't gotta be ashamed of nothing."' Beth considered adding _because I love you_, but that'd probably just freak him out, it probably always would, so she'd just have to leave the _I love you__'__s_ to Jake. She opted for leaning down and pecking him on the lips instead. She sat back up and smiled at his slightly widened eyes. "Don't have to look so surprised Daryl, I want you too." And with that she attempted to move of him, only to feel his hands firm on her hips.

She tried not to grin stupidly as he ran a hand up her waist, his calloused hands scratching her delicate skin, as he pulled her down for a much gentler kiss, he didn't seem willing to deepen it, but he wasn't willing to pull away either, so Beth just let him kiss her, until eventually he pulled his head back a little. "Kiss what's mine, when I wanna kiss her too." He mumbled, and this time he held her eyes.

"Yes you will." Beth agreed.

"Now, get ya arse over there and wake our kid up...would ya?" Beth climbed of him with a smile, his tone was still somewhat hesitant but alot more confident."I heard last night they were making French toast, Gotta git me summa that, ain't never had it 'fore."

Beth smiled widely as she shook Jakob awake. He sat up instantly, he always did, he was like Daryl when he slept, all open and gooey, but when he woke, it was with the same jolt that saddened her heart slightly.

"That's good shit, least I reckon. Maggie ain't ever shut up about it." Daryl commented as he threw a jacket at Jakob.

Beth frowned at him, he shrugged in return. "You're so rough!" She scolded him.

Daryl eyed the kid up and down, he didn't seem worried. "Well, you can do the motherin' 'm sure he'll survive." Daryl grumbled before stepping out the RV, knocked slightly sideways as OneEye...Slayer ran past him in a desperate attempt to pee… that was a good idea, actually.

Jakob was suddenly at his side blurry eyed but alert. He smiled down at the boy. "Sleep good?"

Jakob nodded before imitating a Daryl sniff. "Yeah, need a piss though."

Daryl's eyes shot to the boy. "Watch ya tongue."

"I wonder where he gets that?"Beth grumbled. "Least he's not just doing it in the house." She jabbed at his ribs.

Daryl swatted her hand away before heading around the back of the van, Beth and Jakob in in tow Beth was busy admiring the sunrise over the open field before she turned around and noticed the boys unzipping their pants. "What are you doing?" She scolded them .

"Takin' a piss." Daryl answered. "What'd think we were doing over here?"

Beth glared at his back. "Thought you'd be civilized and use the camp toilets." She answered.

Jakob turned a little. "What's civ-liz-ized?"

Daryl kicked his foot a little motioning to the boy's wayward pee that got the edge of his shoe. "Sorry, Dad."

Daryl shrugged and flicked his own onto Jacob's shoe, making the boy giggle.

Beth tried not to smile at the rather disgusting, yet amusing moment. "It's what he's not." She grumbled before turning and leaving them to it. "Got more luck at domesticating a walker." She grumbled.

"Least it ain't inside, Beth." Daryl called after her. He vaguely saw her hold her finger up at him as she walked off, but he knew she wasn't even a little annoyed at him.

* * *

Beth was busy talking to a lady called Elizabeth that had greeted them when they had first arrived, when Daryl and Jake walked in, she glanced in their direction, but there were two women that had greeted him straight away. He had a brief chat with them, or more, they chatted to him and he nodded, before he crossed to take a seat near Beth, leaving a spare for Jakob who was hungrily at the table picking up a piece of French toast.

Elizabeth was explaining how they had been at a camp before this, but it was overrun, and they'd only found one other family from that camp who went to stay at a place called Wood-something, but Elizabeth's husband Dale didn't trust the people there so they left before finding this group.

After a few moments of discussion, Beth realized it had been Patrick's family. Beth was about to explain the whole story when Jakob's little voice popped up. "Dad, you gotta try this, its yum! Why haven't I eated this before?"

The comical enthusiasm sent the tent into a fit of laughter, as Daryl motioned the boy to sit.

Jakob launched himself on the chair next to Beth and eagerly chewed away at it, Beth turned her attention back to Elizabeth. "Did they have a son, Patrick? Their name was... Vanderhouse? Vanderhaz..?"'

"Vanderheiss." Daryl offered before being distracted by yet another woman. Beth rolled her eyes and looked back to Elizabeth.

"That's them." She nodded enthusiastically.

"I never met his parents. I'm sorry...Patrick died, he was the first to go to the flu." Beth answered solemnly, feeling awful at the way the lady's face fell.

"That's such a shame, he was such a lovely boy, he used to love my cookies... I can't bear to think of him, like that, probably still walking around at that prison..."

Beth shook her head. "No… Daryl… um... he put him down." Her voice reeked of sadness.

The lady's eyes softened a little at Beth before placing her hand on Beth's. "You're good people, you are."

Beth smiled a little. "So are you...it's hard to believe, really. I think we were starting to be more afraid of people than walkers." Beth laughed lightly, but it sounded all too painful.

"Anyway, back to your story...I want to know how you came across Jakob?" Elizabeth asked. Beth knew she had briefly mentioned that they had found him two months back, but hadn't told the rest..

Beth smiled picking up her story where she had left it, stepping in that stupid bear trap. "Oh well after that we found a funeral home, Daryl had to carry me, I'm so lucky I didn't lose my leg, those things are nasty." Beth grinned, "Anyway we spent a few days there and that's when Slayer our dog showed up. He kept running away from Daryl, and eventually Daryl opened the door thinking it was Slayer, but it was a bunch of walkers."

"Oh no!" Elizabeth huffed. "Then what happened?" She placed her hand on Beth's arm in anticipation.

"Then Daryl told me to run, I could hardly walk, I couldn't help like that, so I did and then these men took me. They had come to take the house after capturing the first owner, they saw someone was there and sent in the walkers in to clear it out...anyway..." Beth paused, she still hadn't told anyone what had happened then, she decided to skip forward slightly. "It took me a while but I escaped, went back, but Daryl wasn't there, so I started tracking him, and found him a month later... or he found me, his tracking skills are much better than mine." Beth smiled at that.

Elizabeth was eying her thoughtfully so Beth hurried on. "Then we found this cabin, stayed there...then we found Hope... a baby, her parents had turned, and she was hanging in a capsule in a tree." Beth squeezed her eyes shut willing the tears away. "Jake turned up a few weeks later, he was there, he'd fallen out the tree and couldn't get past his mom, she... Hope died of exposure, hunger, something, anyway, we've got Jake now."

Elizabeth squeezed her arm reassuringly. "Jake is a lucky boy, to have such a loving family."

Beth scoffed slightly. "I don't even know if that's his real name...he didn't talk for a month, so we just named him, I never asked what his real name is, I've never asked...sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me." Beth laughed nervously.

"Nothing's wrong with you, sweetheart." Elizabeth assured her before leaning in. "But you better keep an eye on your man...Judy is on the hunt again." Elizabeth advised her.

Beth shot her eyes to Elizabeth before looking to the woman who was talking to Daryl, eying her carefully, flirting and giggling, Daryl wasn't even that funny what was she giggling at?

Beth looked back to Elizabeth. "He can handle it." Beth answered before looking at the woman and blushing slightly. "He's embarrassed to tell people. How did you know?"

Elizabeth shrugged lightly. "Can see love when I'm looking at it... my Dale used to be similar, you know, all business, afraid of his feelings... it's subtle but it's there." Elizabeth smiled. "How could he be embarrassed about you huh?"

Beth blushed again. "It's not me...he's all hung up about my age, or his age, he's got some paedophile complex." Beth rolled her eyes..." He won't even really do anything." Beth shrugged a little at her admission.

Elizabeth laughed. "Goodness me, girl... you're not a child, I was thirteen when I met Dale. He was twenty five and soo worldly... he was my brother's friend. It took me eight years to pin him down... now he tells me it was the eight years he regrets most... love is love, age is just a number."

Beth smiled. "Dale seems so friendly, not like Daryl."

"No he was much ruder. I remember the first day I met him, he'd been all covered in blood from a bar fight, and when I offered him my hanky to clean the blood of his face he looked at me and grunted. I still offered it and he'd spat _what am I meant to do with that little girl, get out of here, this is man__'__s business,_I went back to my room and cried, it took me a year to try and talk to him again, and it didn't go much better." Elizabeth smiled fondly.

Beth grinned at the fondness Elizabeth spoke with. "I think we're going to be good friends." She stated, amused by the similarities.

The older woman smiled. "I do hope so."

"If you can excuse me though, I better go and beat off...?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Judy...yes, you do that."

Beth stood, and crossed to the woman, placing her arm on Daryl shoulder possessively. "Hi, I'm Beth." Holding her hand out to the woman who took it and shook it hesitantly.

"Judy."

"Sorry, Judy I'm going to have to steal Daryl away for a moment." Beth smiled politely.

Daryl looked up to her confused. "S'it important, Beth? I ain't done eatin'."

Beth couldn't think of anything to make up so she sighed. "No, I guess it can wait."

"Pass me another one?" It sounded more like a order, but Beth knew it wasn't so she took a piece of French toast and flopped it on his plate.

"Dale asked if you'd help with the fence." She said hoping Daryl would go and talk to him about it.

"K."

"Yah wanna come for a walk?" She was aware she was being obvious now as Judy eyed her up and down.

Daryl scrunched his face. "Now? Can't we go after?"

Beth rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's fine Daryl." She decided he was being impossible so she headed back to the RV without him.


	36. something like a love confession

"Really? You can't be serious Daryl," She laughed.

He nodded, before looking to Jakob. "'Bout you?"

Jakob shook his head. "I'm not scared of squirrels."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "I ain't scared of 'em, just... scared of their teeth, you would be too if ya ever got bit."

"It's okay, Daryl, lucky you got that crossbow to protect you." Beth giggled. "Otherwise those killer squirrels might come and eat you alive!"

Daryl scoffed. "It's just a dream...anyway, it's his turn." Daryl pointed.

Jakob shrugged. "I'm scared of trees, that's mine, like they're alive and they get you...I don't know what happens when they do, I just know I'm scared that they might...only at night time...that's my dream."

"And you think I'm a pussy, least squirrels _can_ bite." Daryl teased as he leant into the boys neck playfully biting him, sending him into a fit of giggles.

A moment later, Jake huffed as he tried to push Daryl of him and turned his attention back to Beth. "Your turn, Mommy."

Beth shrugged. "The toilet...I always imagine this hand comes up...I don't know whether it pulls me down or...I don't know, but I know it feels cold, like it sends a chill to my soul...so I have to put toilet paper in before I pee because apparently that protects me from the hand. I've dreamt it ever since I was a little girl, before the walkers, but now I think it looks like a walker hand." Beth explained. Daryl and Jakob were staring at her wide-eyed she finally shrugged "What?"

"Magic toilet paper?" Jakob finally asked, which sent him into another fit of giggles, which had Daryl attempting to tickle him to death again.

Beth rolled her eyes, they all had their own secret fears and each of them were as stupid as the other.

"Right, little man, its bed time!" Daryl told him, while picking the boy up and dumping him under the quilts of his little bed, continuing the tickle attack on the boy's ribs.

Jakob buried his face into the pillow as Daryl leaned over and kissed the back of his head. "Remember when we went hunting and I shot that walker?"

Daryl furrowed his brow. "Hm?"

"That's my happy dream, you and Hope and sometimes my other mom and always Slayer. We go hunting and I shoot a walker and you all are happy and then we have a picnic."Jake explained.

Daryl didn't answer so Beth stepped in and answered. "That's really nice..." And then her conversation with Elizabeth earlier rang in her head. "Jakob...what's your real name...the one your real parents called you?"

Jakob turned his head to look at her, "It doesn't matter...you're my real parents."

"But, what did they call you?" She pushed.

"My name is Jakob." The boy answered.

Beth was about to ask again when she felt Daryl's hand on her shoulder. She glanced up at him and he shook his head slightly; that was confusing, but Beth decided to obey him. She bent and kissed Jakob's cheek and ruffled the quilt around him and Slayer.

"Sing." Jakob demanded as he did every night and Beth smiled before complying.

Jakob was always asleep by the third verse. She bent and kissed him again before blowing out his candle and crossing to the bed.

She quickly climbed in and rested her head to her pillow, grateful for the softness. She felt Daryl shifting a fair bit, and after a minute the voice came. "What ya doin' all the way over there?"

"Don't know... just feel like it." She replied.

The bed dipped again as he moved again. "Did I do somethin?"

Beth sighed slightly. "S'more what ya didn't do."

The bed dipped a few more times, then she felt Daryl's breath on her neck. "What didn't I do?" The question was genuine.

Beth let out a deep breath. "All day, you've had women fightin' to talk to ya and ya just dismissed me..."

Daryl's brow furrowed. "I hardly spoke ta any of 'em, was jus' busy is all."

"I know..it wasn't you, it was them." She sighed again. "It's just all still a bit new and I know how you feel about telling people. Just… Elizabeth told me how the women are pretty desperate and I even heard one girl ask if you were single...I know we haven't really talked about that but I just...it's stupid."

Beth felt an arm around her waist. "C'mere...ya know I ain't _single_, we talked about that, ain't good at talkin'. You better not be askin' me ta tell ya every day."

Beth wanted to scoff at that because so far it had been the other way around, but she shook her head. "No...I don't know, I see them flirting with you and it makes me so angry I just want to punch them... and you don't even notice."

"Don't think they was flirtin' with me." Daryl scoffed.

Beth rolled her eyes. "Just because you don't think you're much, everyone else knows you are, and they were. Even Elizabeth told me to go lay claim to you before that Judy lady stole ya, but you seemed pretty happy about talking to her..."

Daryl thought for a moment, it made sense now. "That why ya wanted ta go for a walk? Din' know, Beth. I was hungry."

Beth considered staying angry but she couldn't help letting the anger melt away, when he was so stupid. She rolled over to face him with a small smile. "Dumbass."

Daryl grinned, the way she said it was a little too filled with affection, he bowed his head, still a little too unused to such kindness. "I'll make sure they know, Beth."

"Even if they think you're some perverted old man, you'll tell 'em?" Beth questioned.

"Yep, what you think 's more important than what they do."

"Good..." she lifted his chin to look back at her, "...also, when are you going to get a haircut, your hair is almost as long as mine!"

"Done pickin' on me yet?" His voice was whiney but not at all offended.

"I'll never be done with you, Mister Dixon."

"Promise?" He smiled when Beth nodded. "So... can I kiss ya.. or ya too angry at me?"

Beth grinned wildly. "I thought you were gonna kiss me when you wanted to kiss me...you wanna kiss me?" She raised her eyebrows in a silent challenge.

Daryl rolled on his back, "Nah..I'm good."

Beth pressed her lips into a line before pinching his side, which earned her a unimpressed, "Oww." Daryl rubbed his hand over the spot. "You're a real piece of work ain't ya?"

"Don't you know it." She agreed, and within a second her lips were claimed.

Beth let herself enjoy it, just the feel of his hard lips against hers, the way his hand roamed up her back, around her neck, over her arm, she lifted it to wrap around his neck and felt his arm drift down her side, leaving goosebumps.

Kissing Daryl was definitely her favourite thing to do. Not that she really did anything else that could be considered fun; life consisted of hunting, fighting, washing clothes, running, cooking, so this was probably her only vice, which was possibly part of the reason it felt so good. Regardless, it was pretty amazing and it was equally amazing that he seemed so comfortable with it, even if he was only like this when it was just the two of them, under the cover of darkness… even if he was terrible at the rest, this was good.

Kissing Daryl wasn't like the first few tentative kisses she had shared with Jimmy, who had been terrified about the whole thing. Zach hadn't been much better. Sure he'd actually been a little more explorative about it, but he was still so was unsure. Daryl was inside also, but only in the way he occasionally pulled back or flinched at her touch. The way he kissed her wasn't unsure; it was forceful and powerful and absolutely crushing and that was defiantly a good feeling. She hadn't been kissed like that before.

He wasn't kissing her now, well he was, but he was buried somewhere in her neck, which was a pretty amazing feeling all together. She had somehow maneuvered herself so that she was underneath him now and his body was like his lips, powerful and crushing. His lips were back against hers now, a little gentler than they were before, a little slower, but equally as satisfactory. And then he stopped, nothing had made him, obviously he just wanted to look at her, because that's all he was doing, looking into her eyes as if he was memorizing them. Beth let out a small almost-laugh at the way her stomach fluttered when he did that. A moment later his lips were back at hers, his body heavy against her.

Beth decided she should probably do something, so far she'd pretty much laid here like a wet fish. She ran her hands down his sides, around his hips and up his back, just feeling all of him. He pulled her hands away, kissing them both before returning to her lips. She ran her hands over his shoulders this time, they were so large her hands were dwarfed on them; he always made her feel so small.

She couldn't help the small moan of pleasure as he claimed her lips again. They were a little tender now, but she wasn't going to complain, not at all, and then he rolled on his back leaving her a little surprised that he'd left her so abruptly. At least he was holding her hand; she didn't remember him grabbing it, but still her fingers were entwined with his and his thumb was rubbing small circles into her hand.

"What are ya doin'over there?" Beth smirked.

Daryl lifted his other arm to prop it behind his head. "Jus' takin' a breather."

"You have to?"

He let out a quick breath of amusement before he felt her leaning over him, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. "You done?"

He indulged in another kiss before pushing her back a little. "Beth, I need ya'to give me a minute."

"Is something wrong?" She worried.

"Fine, Beth, just...you know." He looked her up and down again.

Beth shook her head.

"Just need'a get under control a bit, or I won't be able to stop."

Beth laughed slightly. She hadn't missed that, but she hadn't shied away or been embarrassed like she had been last time. "You're doing it again." She scolded him as she pulled his chin back so he was looking at her.

He made sure he was looking at her. "Dun' mean to, just think you'll...you know."

Beth leaned up and silenced him with another kiss, but he was hesitant about it, so she pulled back. "I'll never leave you Daryl, you don't gotta be scared of that." It sounded as genuine as it felt, and it made him smile lightly. "Anyway, who said I'm gonna want ya to stop? Why don't ya just get on with it?"

"Not scared of ya leavin' no more Beth...'n I know ya want this."

"Then, let's just do it?" She suggested.

There was a classic Daryl non-reaction, so she carefully ran her hand down his stomach and slipped her hand under his shirt, scratching her nails across the skin there. Beth beamed a smile at him when his hips bucked into the air.

But then his hand was around her wrist pulling it up, she frowned..."Why not?"

He paused for a moment before nodding toward Jake.

"He's asleep. We can be quiet about it can't we?" Beth questioned.

Daryl squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "Ya ain't dun' it before, Beth. Maybe we should just wait a little while?"

She crinkled her brow suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. "Is that the problem? I know I might not be good, but can't you just tell me what to do?"

"Ain't no problem, ain't you either... Just...me?"

Beth huffed, her obvious annoyance, not hidden at all. "I wouldn't want it to be anyone else." Daryl didn't answer. "I am not waiting until I'm thirty, Daryl."

"Just a little while." He suggested. "We're doin' all this real fast and I don't want ya wishing you just had fun doin' _this _first. Ya was real shy about it last time, ya might think ya ready Beth but I wanna know you're okay."

"I might be dead tomorrow and I'm gonna wish we did a little bit more than this."

Daryl sighed. "Don' make it easy ta do the right thing do ya?" He grinned a little. "...You're a little soldier, Beth. Ya say yes and I know ya wouldn't tell me if ya change ya mind halfway, don' want that happening 'k? Just wait a little bit, Beth."

Beth considered it. Of course she knew she'd never be able to make Daryl do anything, but still she could try. "Okay, fine... can we fool around a bit, though?"

"Fool around?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.

Beth shrugged. "You know." Her answer was coy and he knew, he didn't have to ask, he'd known straight away.

"I ain't foolin." He meant it as a confirmation of the way he felt about her, but she didn't seem to take it that way.

Beth sighed before flopping heavily on her back. "Anyone ever tell you you're a real prude?"

He chuckled at that, unwilling to explain his true meaning. He rolled to his side with a small huff. "We can fool around, just not right now."

"What's wrong with now?"

He buried his face in her arm, before grinding his hips into her leg.

She pulled her leg away a little and let out a girlish giggle, before pushing her leg back. "Oh that...ain't that a part of foolin' around?"

"God, Beth, it's been a while okay? Can't keep my shit together right now." He complained. Truth was he felt like a teenage kid with Beth, with her he couldn't... or didn't want to control himself, 'course next time she wants to fool around he'll at least try to make a conscious decision from the beginning rather than this uncaring attitude he had started this with.

Beth sighed. "Sorry."

Daryl pushed her shoulder so that she'd roll over and he could spoon against her comfortably. "S' okay, Beth, I'll forgive ya."

"Whatever." She scoffed slightly. She attempted to close her eyes and not concentrate on the way his hand had slipped under her shirt, resting solidly against her rather tight nervous-feeling stomach. Tried not to concentrate on the feeling of his heart thudding on her back or his hardness pressed into her leg, which he apparently wasn't shy to hide now and of which she was no longer shy. She definitely tried not to think about his breath on her neck, but she was powerless against her own mind to ignore it all because it felt amazing. She cleared her throat a little, trying to push it all away.

"You okay?" Daryl hadn't missed that she was a little too still, which meant something.

Beth searched her mind for something to talk about so she could ignore this... but there was nothing. "Just feels nice." She admitted.

She felt a small huff of air on her neck. "Yeah." The reply was quiet, but his arms tightened a little and the hand that rested on her stomach started rubbing small circles.

That felt too good, she had to distract herself, she thought over the day for anything that she could talk about… ahh there's something. "Why didn't you want me to ask about Jake's name?"

Daryl took a deep breath and his hand faltered to a stop. It took him a long while to answer, so long that Beth considered asking the question again, but eventually he took a deep breath. "Ever heard him say much about his dad?"

Beth thought, he'd talked about Hope, mentioned his mom, but not his dad. "He doesn't talk about life before us much."

"Think there's a reason for that?" Daryl suggested.

Beth turned her neck to look at Daryl, but couldn't twist it past staring at the roof, so she settled with that. "Like what?"

"Called us Mommy and Daddy pretty quick... ain't seen the kid shed a damn tear over his father, only when he thinks of his sister."

"He's kinda like you. He's open, different now... but with everyone else he's all closed off. I don't think it means he doesn't care, it's just how he copes."

Daryl huffed again. "You said it."

Beth's brow furrowed. "Said what?"

Daryl shifted a little and buried his head into her shoulders, hiding, because he didn't want to say anything, but something about Beth made him want to tell her everything. "When I was his age, I used ta dream someone would come 'n adopt me. I used ta imagine the man from the huntin' shop would accidently shoot me, in the woods 'n carry me home, treat me and then just keep me. Stupid, even started callin' him 'Pops' when my pop sent me into buy bolts."

Beth swallowed at the admission. "Was it 'cause your dad was so bad?"

"M-hm."

Beth had always wanted to ask, but she never had. "What did he do?" She already knew part of the answer, but she didn't know everything. Daryl flinched and she reached for his hand that still rested on her tummy, pulled it up and kissed it, before folding it in for a hug.

Daryl considered pulling away running like he always did. "Ya don wanna hear 'bout that, Beth."

"If you need to tell someone...then I wanna hear." Beth guessed it was stuff he'd have never talked about with anyone, maybe he'd wanted to, maybe he'd wanted to just forget it… whatever was fine.

"He was just a no good sack o' shit." Daryl shrugged. "Anyway... I just get why Jake is happy with a new home and a new family."

Beth thought about it for a moment. "Did he tell you...or you just know?"

"Just know, he dun' need'a say it... got real angry at him the day he took down that walker, he wasn't scared, he just knew what was comin'. I'd never hit him like that, but he wasn't scared that I would, jus' expected it. Kid probably saved my life and thought I'd beat him for it. When I didn', he told me he loved me, like he'd been waitin' his whole life." Daryl huffed again, but it sounded painful. "Guess I had been, too."

Beth wanted to hug him, tell him that it wasn't only Jakob that loved him, but she didn't know how he'd take that, so she settled on another question. "What was your mom like?"

"...You know." He squeezed her hand tighter, but it didn't feel like a reassuring or comforting squeeze, it felt like he was trying to close up and withdraw."She was okay. Din' care much for parentin', but she tried I guess... ain't never forgive her though..."

"...For what?" It was an honest question with genuine concern.

Daryl thought about it, thought about how many times Beth had been on the wrong end of his outbursts of anger, how she had always just been there, smiling and forgiving and without judgment. Thought about how she was here now, how she had promised she wouldn't go, how she had told him he didn't have to be scared. He decided that for the first time he could tell someone and, maybe, just maybe she'd understand, maybe she wouldn't think he was a pussy, maybe she wouldn't pity him, maybe she'd just keep doing what she was doing.

"Not doing nothing...stayin' with my pop, jus' don't get it, didn't care that he talked to us like shit... didn't care he beat the crap outa us... " Daryl breathed again, he knew she wouldn't get it, her world was so different, but he couldn't keep coming up with crap excuses forever. Maybe the truth would mean something, maybe she'd give him time, maybe she would just understand, because after all she was Beth. "Just care that...when I was calln' out for her help in the middle of the night..." Daryl pulled his arm back and rolled away, but he didn't stop. "Ya know, payin' his visits...she ain't never stop him...hated her for that." He admitted.

Beth rolled to her back so that she could look at him properly, but she was only met with his back. She felt overwhelmed with the information, although it made so much sense, as to why he was so reserved, so cold, so emotionless sometimes. They weren't things a beating, no matter how bad, could do.

"You talk in your sleep sometimes…"Beth admitted. "You never used to do that, not on the road or in the prison... not 'til after Terminus."

Daryl wiped his eyes, feeling stupid for crying like a kid. "Anythin' interestin'?" He tried to make it sound like a joke but it didn't.

"Alot of the time, you're telling me to run. Sometimes you're muttering about the damn squirrels, sometimes, you're calling Hope, sometimes you're saying, 'duck Maggie,' 'to the left, Glenn,' ' damn walkers,' ' over there, Rick,'…stupid stuff. Sometimes, you're calling Patrick, or Sophia, or the Governor...Merle...your family... sometimes you're calling for your ma, sometimes you're tellin' Judith how much you love her, sayin' her eyes are the brightest you've ever seen... most times you're saying '_Carl, I'm sorry'_...ya never say that word, 'cept then..." Beth swallowed hard before continuing. "You told me what almost happened...I saw it in your eyes at the pharmacy that day... I've always known... just didn't want to think about anyone hurting you...like that."

"Ain't nothin'." The quiet, empty reply came.

Beth wrapped her arms around his waist. "It is somethin'. Your dad's meant to love you, be someone you can trust...I hate that he didn't do that, that he made you scared... that he made ya think you were worth nothing, because you aren't...he should 'a just loved you...not hurt you." Beth answered, and she smiled slightly when Daryl rolled back into her a little.

That's what did it, made up her mind, the moment that finally he hadn't pulled away, finally he trusted her to be there. She put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him back so she could look at his face, she wiped away a stray tear surprised he'd let her, and then reached up and placed the tenderest of her kisses to the corner of his mouth.

"I love you, Daryl. Lots of people do...Jakob, Rick, Carl, Li'l Asskicker, Glenn, Michonne, even Maggie in her way... but I'm sayin' it, I love you, because you're worth a whole heap, because you deserve it and because I've never known a man like you...look at me." She pulled his chin to look at her. "I love you, and don't you ever go forgetting it."

The look in her eyes was so determined, so honest, so open, and she really did love him, apparently so did a bunch of other people, but she did, and she said it, and Daryl knew by the swelling in his heart that he loved her too. Not that he could manage to say it, throat all tight and chest mysteriously aching again, and tears stinging the back of his eyes, but yeah he loved her. So he pulled her down and held her like he was never letting go.


	37. something like a show!

There was nothing wrong with these people, they just weren't her people and there was a part of her that was so mistrustful of them despite the fact she hadn't seen anything to suggest she should be. Clearly Daryl trusted them, and he could read people like nobody's business.

It was just the small things, like the way every second woman eyed Daryl appreciatively. Beth had seen people doing that back in the prison; Daryl Rick, Bob, even Carl for some of the younger girls. Some of them were even bold enough to make a comment or actually flirt with them, but back then it had never bothered her; maybe because she had never been out numbered, their people to hers or maybe it was that none of them had belonged to her, if she could say that. Daryl wasn't really the type to belong to someone, but still, he hadn't denied it when she laid claim to him out by the RV, and he'd later confirmed it. Maybe it was just the way these woman looked at him so hungrily, or maybe it wasn't the way they looked at him at all, maybe it was the way they looked at her.

When Jakob had looked up at her and said, 'Mommy, can I have some?' Pointing eagerly to the mayonnaise, which sadly he had never tried, the room had fallen silent, like they'd just figured out, that she wasn't just a young girl. Jakob didn't blink before climbing on Daryl's lap and rambling something about it being tangy.

One lady tried to start another conversation about how cute the boy was, but it didn't dispel the almost silent whispers and the had quickly excused himself, it wasn't that he was embarrassed, he obviously just had somewhere to go. The lady commended her on Jacob's manners, before saying how he looked like his father and that's when Beth explained that he wasn't really theirs, they'd simply adopted him. She told the story about how Jakob had shocked her with calling her mom and the lady had smiled knowingly. Her name was Janet and Elizabeth had crossed to her and explained that Janet was her closest friend in the group. Elizabeth had later walked her and Jakob back to the RV and Beth had apologized for perhaps making people uncomfortable and Elizabeth had squeezed her hand, and told her not to worry.

Everyone's eyes seemed to be on her after that. Daryl had come back to say his farewells before he left for the prison. Beth had never been one for goodbyes, but Daryl seemed to think he was supposed to do it, in the sanctuary of the RV he was a different person, none of that closed-off avoidance, still hesitant, but defiantly open. He checked her list and asked if she knew where each item was and then he had stood, pulling her in for a crushing hug and kissing her without reservation. Well, maybe a little reservation, or maybe a nervousness, but that was quickly dispelled when he smiled at Beth ."Ya love me." He stated before leaving her. She understood that was as good as him saying it to her and it had brought a smile to her lips. Moments later, however, outside after discussing plans he had hugged Jakob and merely patted Beth on the shoulder before climbing in the car, the curious looks from the other women irking her.

Beth had sighed inwardly before calling Jakob over and insisting he have a training lesson which he was keen for. That was a habit Beth had learned from Daryl; frustration equals training as the best way to work it out. Eventually a man crossed over to them and had asked Beth what they were doing. When she explained they were knife training, he asked her why she was training a child and Beth had explained that as soon as you could walk you had to learn to protect yourself. He had gently told her that they preferred the women and children didn't fight and if she insisted on training, could she not do it in the public eye? something about it made them uneasy and scared.

The replies that flicked through her head made her think maybe she was spending too much time with Daryl. She settled on. "No wonder there's not many men around, I'd be pretty scared too if we didn't know how to look after ourselves." She shrugged and decided she'd get Daryl to talk to them about that, then dismissed Jakob to go and play.

Soon after, Jakob had taken a tumble and wasn't able to breathe and Beth had talked him through it. He had winded himself pretty badly, she guessed, and he had looked so afraid, there was little more she could do other than hold his hand. Panic had set deep into her bones when it happened, but he seemed strong and was back up and walking around ten minutes later. After he said he felt okay he had gone off to play with the other children, but Beth had eyed him carefully for a good hour, before she was satisfied he was okay. Trusting Slayer to alert her and protect the boy against any dangers, she decided to collect their clothes and take them to the wash tent, which she stood beside now, eaves dropping on the conversation.

"_I heard her telling Elizabeth he's not hers."_

"_Oh really? Maybe the kid just started calling her mommy and he let her stick around."_

"_No, it's not his child either, they just found him."_

"_Are they even together then?"_

"_I haven't seen them do anything more than hug."_

"_I saw them chatting yesterday, I think they are."_

"_Apparently he told Michael he had a couple of kids with him."_

"_Ahh obviously they're not together."_

"_I don't think he's that type, anyway."_

"_What type?"_

"_The one to go for little girls__.__"_

"_Oh__,__ and you think he'd go for __your__ type?"_

"_Well, one could only hope."_

"_I saw her chasing him around this morning."_

"_I know, it was sad really. Poor girl must have a crush."_

"_He was ignoring her at dinner last night."_

"_Oh there's hope yet."_

"_Did you see his arms?"_

"_I know, they're huge and I saw him take down four walkers over by our van yesterday, it was brutal."_

"_I __wish__ I was there__.__ I heard it was amazing__."_

"_He didn't even break a sweat."_

"_Settle down."_

"_Sorry, it's just there's not __alot__ of options anymore."_

"_Why don't you just get out with it, he's probably dying for some action, cooped up with those kids all winter."_

There was a giggle. That set Beth's blood on fire, but she did her best not to burst in and yell at them all.

"_I heard he's going to be working on fences and a watch stand."_

"_I heard that too, hopefully we will get a good look at his body."_

"_One can imagine what's beneath that angelic vest."_

"_Oh don't get me started, if those arms are anything__…."_

"_He has a nice six pack."_

"_How would you know?"_

"_Saw him rolling around with __t__hat kid__. H__is shirt flicked up and I got a look."_

"_Oh really?"_

"_Mmm__…."_

"_Oh__,__ please stop your drooling."_

"_Oh yeah what about you?"_

Beth took this as her cue to enter, sauntering in with her bag of washing and taking her seat among the six women, doing her best to hold back from yelling at them, or outright hitting them in the face. She took the first shirt, Daryl's blood-stained shirt, wielding it like it was some sacred relic, as the other women looked at it almost envious that she was washing his shirt, it was nothing to Beth. She had been washing his shirts along with everyone else's way back on the road, but she didn't miss the stares and this was the first time she had washed an item of clothing with a sense of pride.

"Hi, Betty?" The middle-aged lady with the dark hair smiled. Beth recognized her voice she was the one that was clearly the most taken by Daryl.

"Beth." She corrected.

"I'm Judy." She smiled before pointing around the tent. "Ann, Cheryl, Sandra and Denise."

Beth nodded to them all respectively before Cheryl spoke. "So, we heard that you guys have been holed up in a cabin all winter, after someone attacked your last group?"

Beth nodded as she lathered up the shirt.

"Just the three of you?" Sandra asked.

"Yes, we got out of the prison together...the attack on our last group." Beth answered politely.

"I heard that prison had a big group." Sandra commented.

"One-hundred sixty-four at one point." Beth answered, dipping the shirt back in and rinsing before repeating the whole process again.

"Oh...so did you and Daryl know each other well, before you know the winter?"

Beth nodded. "Yeah, I've known him since...right back when it was not even a dozen of us, huddled around a campfire, frightened with no idea what to do." She smiled fondly at the memory of her father telling her it would all work out one day. She cleared her throat. "I've known him since about six weeks after the turn."

"Oh so you're close then?"Judy questioned.

Beth used the opportunity to scoff. "Of course."

Judy corrected herself. "I mean, you've been close for a while?"

Beth elaborated. "Oh yeah, ages. I mean, at first I was terrified of him, he used to be so mean, but you know, after a few weeks of travelling...before the prison, I don't know it just changed. We used to do watch together and then at the prison we did a fair bit together… then, of course, things just went from there." Beth hinted trying to make it sound like her security in their relationship was alot older than it was.

"Oh, I'm sorry...are the two of you a couple or something?" Judy questioned.

Beth nodded, as she wrung out the shirt and reached for a pair of tiny Jakob pants. It felt so strange to her and she wasn't sure if that's what they were calling it yet, but still.

"How old are you?" Cheryl asked.

Beth frowned. "That's a little forward isn't it?"

"Sorry...it's just you look so young... you can't be more than sixteen."

Beth scoffed. "I'm not that young."

"Forgive them, Beth" Anne piped up."It's been a while since we've had any men around the camp, we're all a bit hard up. We were just wondering if he was available and you looked so young we didn't think there was anything really happening, I mean it's obvious you like him, but we didn't know."

Beth smiled at the woman at least she was honest about it. "Oh sorry, he's def-in-ate-ly not available"Beth answered, wringing out the pants and moving on to the next item.

Denise apparently felt comfortable being forward now. "He's got a pretty good body...I mean I'm telling you, sorry you would know...is he, you know...good?"

Beth looked over to the woman before realizing her question. "I don't think that's any of your business."

Judy entered the conversation again. "Oh, let us live a little, don't be a prude about it."

Beth shrugged. "I just don't think Daryl would appreciate me sharing that stuff, he's pretty private...we both are."

"It's the boy isn't it? Having kids really dulls down the love life, believe me I know." Sandra commented.

That annoyed Beth and she shook her head, glad that she only had a handful of small items left. "No, Jakob doesn't get in the way, we love having him."

Judy raised an eyebrow. "Can't imagine what you're doing if he doesn't get in the way."

"Oh give the girl a break, they're probably not there yet, I mean look at her, she's so young." Cheryl commented.

The truth of the words stabbed at Beth, but she shrugged it off. "I didn't say, that, I just meant that Jakob isn't a problem we wouldn't trade him for the world and really I don't feel comfortable, discussing my love life with you." Beth heard the familiar rumble of Daryl's old bike, she shoved the last item in the bag not bothering to wash the final sock, she could do it back at the RV. She picked up her bag and walked to the tent entrance, before hearing Judy mumble.

"With a temper like that, I take it she's not getting any."

"Probably not really together, some girlish fantasy I'd say." Cheryl's voice added.

"Yeah, what would a man like him want with a little girl?" Judy added.

Beth considered poking her head back in and letting them know she could still hear them, but she had a better idea. She heard the women packing up and upon seeing Daryl crossing the field, home from his expedition, she loitered long enough to make sure they'd be exiting the tent around the same time she met him.

"Hey, Daryl!" She called and there was a slight harshness to her voice, but only he would notice it.

He looked up, victoriously holding up a bag of items, that made Beth smile slightly, he must've got some special things to be holding them up so proudly.

As she got closer she spoke in a harsh hushed tone. "Kiss me."

She attempted to lean up, but he pushed her down a little. "Here? Beth c'mon." A visible blush stained his cheeks.

She looked to the ground. "You have no idea what they've been saying. I need you to kiss me."

His embarrassment quickly faded into genuine concern. "What have they been sayin'?"

Beth sighed, "I was eavesdropping... they reckon I'm pathetic following you around and Judy thinks she can get ya, and they wouldn't stop talking about how hot you are, and they asked me if you're good, you know, in bed and then teased be because they guessed that I'm too much of a prude to have done anything. Ain't never been ashamed of that before...not like that and then they said I was just chasing you around and you didn't want me...so just kiss me, because I want them to know, you're… you know... not available and that I ain't just some stupid teenager."

Daryl felt bad that she was so upset by the women's carless words so he leaned forward and kissed her cheek, "Okay?"

Beth let out a sharp breath. "Oh yeah, Daryl, that's gonna completely squash their doubts about us."

He jutted his chin forward and kicked his foot awkwardly, before making the honest admission. "Can't, Beth, not with people watchin'... can hardly do it with me watchin'."

The honest comment melted her resolve. He hadn't said it, but the dozen or so times he had actually tried to kiss her, at any other occasion that wasn't when they were in bed under the cover of darkness, he was hesitant and always withdrew afterwards like it was wrong of him to do so. Beth sighed, feeling defeated "I'm sorry." She shook her head and stepped away.

The sad look on her face was unnecessary and he knew he could fix it, should fix it. "Beth." The voice came before his warm hand pulled on her wrist, causing her to slam back into him, he looked her solidly in the eye before dropping his bag and reaching both his hands to her face, drawing her in and kissing her, trying not to think about who was there, trying to just concentrate on her. A moment later his mind quietened and he simply enjoyed the moment, her hands slipped to his waist and he felt her smile into him as he greedily claimed her lips as his own, not willing to slow or to stop ever and then he felt the thud on his leg which pulled him back to reality and he remembered, that if Beth had gotten her way, they surely had an audience. He drew back with a sheepish smile, before dropping his arms to pick up the boy that had thudded into him, not for a moment taking his eyes of the slightly stunned Beth. "Better?"

She nodded. "Uh-hum."

He smiled to Jakob and stepped around her, before grinning to himself, dropping a hand and slapping her ass on the way past. "Fuckin' embarrassing as hell. Get my bag, ya owe me big-time."

Beth jumped slightly before bending to pick up the bag. She turned to follow him, not missing the gawking women by the wash tent as she did so. She tried to hide her smile, but she was powerless to, so she simply distracted herself. "Get my dad's pen?"

"Yep and Sasha's photos, Carl's comics, Michonne's bandanna collection, Rick's seed log, the visitor book ya' dad started, Karen's bracelet for Tyreese, and some Legos for this little man..."

"Legos?" Jakob interrupted, excited after Daryl had told him about it.

He hadn't missed the line-up of ladies eyeing them, somewhere closer to their RV, _what the hell? already look like an idiot_. He thought they wanted a show, he'd give them one, if it was going to make Beth feel better it was worth the embarrassment.

"Sure, Lego. Beth, why ya walkin' so slow? Get ya ass over here, give the boy the Lego and get in there. Missed ya, gotta make sure ya damn know it." He dropped Jakob by the table outside their RV before snatching the bag from her and sifting through it for the Legos. He pulled out a the smaller bag, and passed it to him. "There ya go, Jake, think Patrick's already got a car built… play around, have fun, might be a while." He explained catching the shocked looks on the women's faces who had now so boldly come to stand just at the end of the RV. "Ladies." He nodded "'Scuse me" he turned to Beth a little surprised she was so close, but took advantage of it, wrapping his arm around her waist and thrusting his hips into her, "Get that pretty little ass in that van, girl." His voice sounded gruffer than usual, probably because he was pissed that he had to be so friggin' embarrassing, but it suited his actions.

"Daryl?..." She looked a little surprised.

"What? Had a shit hard day, Beth, want ya in there and on ya back givin' me some lovin' and tellin' me it's all gonna be fine. Don't tell me you got a problem with that, 'cause ya sure as hell didn't last night."

Beth's eyes were a little widened. "Oh...okay."

"Get that ass movin', girl!" She nodded and stepped up to the van. He smacked her butt again, partly to add to the effect, but mostly because it just looked it just looked so damn good in those tight jeans. "That's better."

Beth looked at him wide-eyed from the van. Daryl let out an audible grunt for effect as he followed her in, pulling the door shut behind him, leaving the women gawking and gossiping between themselves.


	38. May as well do somethin'

Stepping into the van he met a slightly nervous-looking Beth. "Ya think that'll stop their teasin'?" He questioned, in the quietest voice he had.

Beth nodded.

"Ain't like talkin' ta ya like that, Beth. Jus'… dunno… try 'n'a... don't know what I'm meant ta sound like... that." He apologized.

Beth grinned evilly at him. "Don't mind in the least, it's kinda hot." She shrugged.

"More than a piece of meat, Beth." Daryl answered as he wiped his hands and arms clean on the rag by the sink. The simple statement made her feel warmed.

He jumped slightly when he felt Beth's arms snake around his waist. "I know that, Daryl...but since we're here..." He turned to look at her and it was the first time she had seen him wide-eyed and stunned. "You look like a deer in headlights." She giggled, before looking back up to him biting her bottom lip with an exaggerated shrug. "I'm not suggesting...you know, I'm just saying, we can do that foolin' around a bit?...if you want?"

Daryl looked her up and down examining her face for a moment, before giving her a nod, but making no move to do anything.

Beth smiled devilishly before spinning him around and throwing him backwards on the bed, a little surprised that she could, probably only because he seemed so shocked, which she decided she found so deeply amusing. She climbed ontop of him, straddling his hips, determined not to allow her shyness to well up and make her retract her actions. Daryl was still looking utterly confused when she bent down to kiss him, her pony tail flopping over her head and into his face.

He let out an excited huff at that and finally caught up, placing his hands on her hips. Beth pulled back just enough to give him a small smile before she leaned forward alot more forcefully this time. He let her control this kiss which made her stomach flip, but she enjoyed it, letting her tongue explore his mouth, feeling a pleasurable buzz in her chest when it brushed up harshly against his own. She let out a tiny moan at the feeling, her hands scrunching his shirt into balls at his chest; obviously he liked that because he hesitantly ran his hands around her hips to the back of her thighs, squeezing them gently before running one up to her bottom and after a moment he squeezed experimentally, which had Beth laughing slightly into his mouth. He surprised her by letting out his own chuckle, before running his hand higher, crossing to her back.

Beth drew back with a wince, leaving Daryl feeling instantly colder at the loss of her, "What?" He questioned as she twisted .

"Your flippin' big fat hands, that's what!" She cursed at him and Daryl wondered what he'd done wrong, instantly he withdrew into himself, hoping he hadn't done something terribly offensive. "My tattoo it still hurts!" She added.

"Oh is that all?"

"Is that all?" She repeated, "God, Daryl!"

He grinned and grabbed her leg and her waist and flipped her over, careful not to put pressure on the tattoo and kissed her again. Beth didn't seem to be complaining now; that made him smile inwardly, she was instead busy with wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him against her. It felt amazing, being so close, a few moments of relishing her mouth and he felt himself hardening, he pulled back for a moment and Bethnoticed the red on his cheeks and she was helpless to stop her cheeks from mimicking his.

"I know we're just foolin', Beth." He didn't know why he told her that, wanted her to know he wasn't planning anything or trying to rush it, that this was enough.

Beth grinned, it was an evil, expectant smile that he hadn't seen on her before. "I know." She answered as she pushed her thigh between his lifting her hips a little, just to put the perfect amount of pressure on him. "So stop talking and get ta foolin."

Daryl dropped his head at the invitation, feeling a little ashamed that he was embarrassed so easily. He sniffed, trying to suck that childish behavior back down, he looked over his shoulder. "You okay, Jake?" He called.

"Yeah, there's a boat too." Came the little voice.

"OneEye with ya still?"

"Uh-hum." Came the slightly distracted voice.

Satisfied that he was in good hands, or paws, Daryl looked back to Beth and pushed himself into her, receiving a little grunt and her hips bucking against his.

Daryl steadied them with one hand, while he let the other run through her hair, admiring the softness of it, before leaning in and kissing her again, and then slowly trailing his way down her jaw line to her neck. After a few heated open-mouthed kisses there, he let his mouth travel down her chest ,where he tugged hesitantly at the top of her shirt, pulling it down to reveal another inch of chest, placing another kiss there and receiving another satisfied grumble. He looked back up to Beth who had he eyes closed and her lips parted and he dared running his hand over her breast, smiling at the way she arched into him, he unconsciously bucked his hips, which made her shoot her eyes open and look at him.

"Daryl..." She didn't finish her sentence, just pulled his face back to hers and demanded another needy kiss as he let his hand rest on her breast, massaging it, memorizing the feel of her in his hands. Her breathing was so much faster now and her legs had wrapped themselves completely around his, which felt amazing. Her arms were freely running over his chest and then her teeth caught his lip, and Daryl couldn't help but let out a growl of pleasure, before he felt her hand slip under his shirt and brush across his stomach, forcing him to buck into her involuntarily again. He could feel Beth smiling against him, before her arm ran around to his back, Daryl frowned slightly, he pulled her arm back to his chest and reclaimed her lips, which he had lost in the transition, he held onto her shoulder and wrapped the other arm around her to tangle his hand in her hair; her chest was now pushing against his own with the new angle and it felt amazing.

The pressure of his weight against her was astounding, Beth wanted to touch everything all at once, her hands ran from his chest down his sides. She felt his hand slip from her shoulder to her ribs, his thumb caressing the side of her breast, his mouth left hers for a moment to place an open kiss on her breast through the material of her shirt and she only felt it because there was a slight nip to it. His lips slammed back into hers, but the bold move left her a little warmer and slightly braver, she slipped her hand around and toyed with the line of his pants before sliding her fingers beneath the band and scratching at his boxer line. He groaned and the noise set her on fire.

Her hand slipped up his back again and she felt him shift, before his hand reached to her wrist and pulled it away again. Her brow furrowed, she moved her hand to his chest, while he lost himself in her neck, the feeling making it hard to concentrate, she ran her hands firmly over it, before slipping a couple buttons and letting her hand s explore his chest, unhindered by his shirt. His lips returned to hers, fierce and without hesitation, she rolled her hands around his side to his back and felt him withdraw slightly, but he continued his ministrations on her lips. She clawed at it slightly and felt him arch away; she gently ran her hand over it again and he didn't react this time, she slipped her hands lower and under the material and then felt his hand pulling her forearm out again, before he assaulted her lips again. She replaced her hand immediately and he pulled at her arm, trying to roll on it slightly so she couldn't go back there, so she let her other hand dip under his shirt and wind around his waist to his back, and that's when he pulled back sharply.

"What ya doin,' Beth?" He looked comical, his expression defiantly screamed annoyed, but his eyes were still dark and heavy lidded. He hadn't moved still, but he was clearly unhappy.

Beth ran her hand up a little higher, and he reached back grabbing her hand and trapped it between them.

"Why won't you let me touch you?"

"Told ya 'fore, Beth, don't like people touchin' me back."

She eyed him carefully, remembering the day that she had offered to massage him, she frowned before asking "Why?"

He grunted before sitting up and the sudden loss of him had Beth regretting it. She hesitantly followed him up, he'd swung his legs of the bed and thrown his head into his hands, she waited for an explanation but it didn't come. Slowly she crossed to him and wrapped her arms around him, moving the hair on his neck before kissing it gently.

"I'm sorry, Daryl... I just don't understand."

He took in a deep breath. "Ain't you, Beth."

She smiled softly before kissing him again and then leaning back and running her hands down the length of his back, over the shirt he seemed okay with it."Whatever it is, Daryl, I'm not gonna hurt you, or laugh at you or be afraid of you."

"I know." The answer was so quick and certain, Beth thought he must've thought about that before.

She reached her fingers under the hem of his shirt and lifted it an inch and without a reaction another inch, she tried another inch and suddenly he was gone, she nearly fell forwards off the bed. "Told ya not ta do that, Beth." The statement was harsh and unforgiving, he saw it the hurt in her eyes, but he couldn't take it back, so he turned and walked out of the van. He may as well help unload those supplies, he supposed.


	39. Sumfin' nearly lost

It had been roughly three weeks since they had arrived at this new camp. It wasn't so bad, ever since Daryl's little show, those women had pretty much backed off, as far as their comments and constant efforts to talk to Daryl anyway, Beth still caught them eying him and whispering among themselves. Judy had even been bold enough to wink at Daryl when she had put some meat balls on his plate at the dinner line-up. Beth was annoyed to have to work with the woman and for her to be so obvious while Beth was right there. Daryl ignored it, but when he came back for dessert he winked at Beth and said "Ain't nothing sweet as you, luv." Which had Judy groaning with annoyance and Beth beaming a thousand watt smile. She knew he'd only said it to make her happy and it had.

All in all, things were getting a little better. The supply run to the prison had worked out well, they had brought back six cars, Daryl's bike, and a whole heap of food and medical supplies, mostly bandages and antibiotics, but it was good.

"You three doin' anyways?" Daryl's words broke into her thoughts.

Beth looked over to Elizabeth and Janet who had stopped chatting to look at Daryl.

He was helping make a watchtower, about a hundred feet in from the woods. He said it was the best place, because the other side had clear fields, they could see a walker for miles, so placing it by the covered woods made more sense to spot something quicker. Most of the men at the camp were helping, but Daryl had teamed up with Dale, who was a gentle mix of a Daryl and the old Dale that she had known's personalities, only a little softer still.

She looked to Elizabeth and Janet and shrugged. "Just taking in the view." Beth smiled, eyeing him up and down.

"Tell ya it ain't much ta look at, but doesn't seem ta stop ya." He smirked.

"You know it." Beth agreed.

Daryl looked to the two older women, both of them probably in their sixties "'N what are you two old bats gawkin' at?"

"Same as her." Elizabeth answered, nodding to Beth. "Nice arms, probably a good chest, abs, the works under there." Elizabeth tried to hide the teasing smile in her voice.

Daryl dropped his head with embarrassment.

"You'd better not be looking at him." Dale teased his wife.

"Oh dear, I've got eyes, can't help but look, but I'll never want anyone else but you." She smirked at him.

He shook his head. "Better not be havin' eyes." He mumbled as he crossed and took the water bottle from her hand.

Daryl glanced down at Jakob who was running his Lego car and boat over the ground, enjoying the rare patch of sun they had seen this winter, Slayer flopped lazily basking in it too. His eyes went back to Beth ."Ain't ya's got cookin' ta do? 'M hungry."

"Jus' keepin' an eye on ya Daryl." She answered.

He furrowed his brow. "Ain't goin' nowhere."

"We're not worried about your safety." Elizabeth answered.

Daryl sent them another questioning look when Janet nodded to the group of women to the left of them, just out of earshot, but defiantly within view.

"What are they doin?" He asked .

"Same as us."Janet answered.

"Oh." Daryl scoffed slightly, witha little disgust. He knew the two older women were joking, Beth wasn't, but he was okay with that, he wasn't okay with being watched by other women of the group, though. "Must be pretty hard up huh?"

"Think they're waitin' for ya to take your shirt off or something." Beth smirked.

"Ain't gonna be doin' that." His voice was a little gruff and Elizabeth and Janet had noticed, so he swallowed and tried again. "Damn cold."

Beth raised her eyebrows teasingly as she looked him up and down again.

Daryl felt a little embarrassed by it as he looked back to Dale who was sawing on his own now. "Best get back to it, let you girls swap your recipes or whatever shit ya' do."

That reminded Beth. "Blue berry pie for dinner."

Daryl smiled, "Aww, Beth, ya gotta stop cookin' that." He pulled the front of his shirt up and rubbed his stomach. "Yer gonna make me lose this!" He replied in the same teasing manner she had just used on him.

Beth admired his muscular stomach with a grin, vaguely hearing Elizabeth and Janet chuckling. "Oh we wouldn't want that."

Daryl winked at the older women. "Small thrills, huh?" He teased before he ripped his shirt back down when he heard a wolf whistle from the other group of women. He scowled in their direction.

"Better get over here, Daryl, and remind them ya got ya girl." Elizabeth advised.

"Yeah." He grumbled before stepping forward and bracing both hands on the arms of Beth's chair. "Got my girl," He agreed before kissing her, it was chaste but defiantly lingered a little. He pulled back, "Real nice of ya to make me pie." He answered before looking down to Jakob, "And got me boy," he ruffled the child's hair, receiving a small grin. "Got me dog...'n me two old bats." He smiled to the two women. It was a gesture to let them know that he liked them and they seemed to understand that.

With that said, he turned and went back to his business.

"See, he's lightening up already." Elizabeth nudged Beth's arm.

Beth smiled back. "Yeah, sometimes he's really surprising."

"Had any trouble from Judy?"Janet asked.

Beth squinted a little, the sky was overcast, but so bright. "Nah, just a comment here and there."

"Heard some whispers... she's pretty keen." Janet informed Beth.

She looked in the direction of the woman, who had her eyes on Daryl still. Beth sighed. "She can be keen all she wants, she ain't having him."

"You go, girl." Elizabeth answered her tone amused.

Beth smiled shyly. "Waited too long for him, not passing him up now."

"How's things going…?" Elizabeth questioned.

Beth eyed her two friends closely, they weren't being crude it was just a question because they cared. Beth scrunched up her nose. "Still won't do much of anything. I mean we fool around a bit, but...he's got so many issues about it."

"Like what?"Janet asked, and Beth realized she hadn't discussed it with Janet before.

Beth shrugged. "Ahh, it's nothing… he thinks he's too old for me, so that took forever to get over, then he reckoned it was because Jake is with us, now he reckons it's because...he'd be my first, then he thinks I'm not ready, but it's all him, I think he has his own issues." Beth mumbled, a little embarrassed.

Elizabeth smiled. "He's just scared, Beth... thinks you'll run out on him. He's just trying to do the right thing by you."

"Yeah, that's what he says, but at this rate I'm going to die of old age before we do it." Beth groaned in frustration.

Janet laughed softly at her. "It will happen, just enjoy it for what it is now."

Beth smiled, "Yeah."

"We can take Jakob one night if you'd like, he'd be safe." Elizabeth offered.

Jakes head shot up, he'd had no idea what the conversation was about, but the idea of being taken away scared him "I don't want to go anywhere." He answered.

Elizabeth smiled down at the child. "No, sweetie, I meant you could stay in my van with Dale and I one night, have a special sleep over." The woman pulled a lolly from her pocket. "You know stay up late, eat lollies." She suggested.

Jakob was eagerly nodding now he understood as he unwrapped his lolly.

Beth smiled at him, it wasn't hard to convince him.

"Beth!" Daryl's voice called and she shot her head up, seeing a heard of seven deer barreling out of the woods, "Dinner!" He added. She reached for her bow, which was now her constant companion, much as the crossbow was his.

"Run that over!" She pointed to the crossbow and Jakob picked it up and took off while Beth took aim at the first deer.

Her eyes narrowed as she steadied her arms, aiming just in front of a deer and letting the arrow go. It landed right behind the fore leg, and lodged in the deer's heart, a perfect shot, as it galloped another two or three steps before slamming into the ground. Beth looked triumphantly at Daryl before she saw another deer faltering in it's run, a bolt jutting from its ribs. She looked back at Daryl, who was reloading and figured she could take it out quicker so she reached for another arrow and took aim; this one went through the shoulder instead of behind it, but the deer still slammed to the ground.

"Guess I can cross nineteen off the list, then." She called, not at all missing the looks of complete surprise from the group of women.

"Nineteen?" Daryl answered.

"Shoot better than Daryl." She answered as she reached for her knife, ready to go and finish of the poor deer.

She heard him chuckle. "Smartass."

Beth looked over to him to gloat when her eyes widened in panic, a heard of eighty or so walkers had emerged from the woods, while everyone had been distracted by the deer.

"Walkers!" Beth yelled, alerting the group.

She pulled Jakob over by the hand and took his knife from his belt, wrapping his hand around it. "Remember what we told you, near your neck."

He nodded.

"Take him back to camp?" Beth looked at Elizabeth and Janet who nodded and took the boy running to camp with all the other women.

Beth briefly wondered why they were all running, the few that had children fair enough and the old, yes, but most of them had knives on them and they still ran. She didn't have time to consider that, she ran towards the first walker who had slipped past the line of twenty or so men. She stabbed him in the eye , blood spraying out over her neck, she pushed him back and headed for the next, taking him out with her knife, then a female one in the back of the head. She vaguely heard a scream as someone got bit, but she didn't look, she continued stabbing and slashing her way to Daryl. He was fighting of three of them, when she finally reached him, taking out one from behind while kicking the others knee in, giving Daryl the opportunity to stab him with the bolt he held, then she took out the third.

"Where's your knife?" Beth hissed at him.

Daryl nodded to the pile of wood he had been working on, as he took out another onethat got its teeth uncomfortably close to his arm. Beth took out another two while Daryl reloaded his crossbow. "Cover me?"

She made way for the pile of wood, being interrupted by another walker, that dropped next to her with an arrow sticking out its head. She picked up the knife and looked back to Daryl, who was busy bashing one's head in with the butt of his crossbow while another descended on him

"Beth!" Came the scream and she immediately whipped her head to see Elizabeth and Janet hadn't made it too far with Jakob. He was collapsed on the ground with two walkers approaching, Janet was trying to pick him up, but Beth could see the blood pouring from her neck, Elizabeth was holding her knife up to one of the walkers, looking terrified, then a bolt went through the first one, and she glanced back to Daryl and threw the knife, hitting the walker in the head by him, he nodded and retrieved his knife. Beth swung her bow of her back and took out the second walker near Elizabeth and ran towards her, another four walkers descending on her. Beth took another out with an arrow, retrieving it as she ran past pulling the string back, pausing for a moment while taking out the other one, before running again. Slayer took another out, Elizabeth was battling with the last walker, when Beth reached them and stabbed its head.

"What's happened?" Her voice was panicky, Jakob was blue, but he didn't appear to have blood on him, well other than what was obviously Janet's.

"I'm sorry."Janet sobbed.

Beth eyed her, it was supposed to be reassuring, but Beth knew it was filled with fear.

"He's got asthma?" Elizabeth questioned as she knelt by him.

Beth shook her head, catching sight of another walker, but Slayer was taking care of it.

"I don't know, he had trouble the other day, but I thought he got winded."

Elizabeth pushed her aside and began CPR, Beth squeezed his little hand for a moment before standing and shooting her last arrow at another descending walker.

Another three walkers and Daryl had made his way over with Dale close behind him. "He bit?" Daryl's voice, that sounded all too even and calm questioned. Beth shook her head and motioned to Janet who was crouched by Jakob's legs, close to collapsing and holding her neck. She glanced back to Daryl who nodded and took a few steps behind her.

"Janet." Beth looked at the woman who was clearly in agony.

"S-sor-y t-trie-d ta to keep h-him s-saffe." She stammered.

Beth knelt down and propped the woman up. "No, Janet, thank you." She knew if the woman hadn't protected him it would have likely been him bitten. "Saving my boy..." She pulled the woman in for a hug."You've been a wonderful friend...thank you, thank you." Beth mumbled as the terrified woman sobbed into her, Beth looked over the woman's shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut as Daryl pulled the trigger sending a bolt through the back of the woman's head and ending her pain. She slumped heavily against her and Beth let out a strangled cry before pushing her backwards, the warm blood from Janet's neck left Beth's chest sticky and hot, but she pushed that away. Blinking hard she looked around, there were still thirty or so walkers, most of the men were scattered, Jakob was still passed out, although not blue. Beth stood shakily and reached for Daryl's arm; he looked back to her and she pointed to the second deer which was still dragging itself along the ground, two arrows sticking out of it and a walker chewing on its leg.

Daryl nodded and ran towards it yelling and making as much noise as he could, "Hey dumb-fucks, yeah you, c'mere, c'mon, come get me, fuckin' disease-ridden hick! Yeah you, with the glasses, want some of this?" He clubbed one over the back of the head that had turned back towards Jakob.

"Draw 'em over here!" He called and the rest of the men in the group seemed to catch on, once the walkers were over feeding off the dead deer they were easy to take out. Daryl had left when there were only a handful left and returned just in time to see Jakob blinking back to life.

He lay there, stunned, looking up, looking afraid, it sent a deep fear to the pit of Daryl's stomach, now that he had a moment to think, it overwhelmed him. His legs went weak, dropping him to the ground; it all hit him, like he had run full-pelt into a tree. His head hurt, his heart hurt and he had no control over his body, it was shaking so fiercely. Somehow he managed to pull the boy onto his lap and press him into his chest, mumbling words that couldn't be understood, but Daryl understood it was a prayer, if any god was listening, if Hershel was up there somewhere, it was a thanks. He'd nearly lost his boy, but by some miracle he had survived, passed out with walkers roaming free, he had managed not to get bit, it was a miracle, seeing the boy so lifeless moments ago had been terrifying. Daryl was rocking the boy violently, his tears streaming down his face, tears of joy that he was alive, tears of fear that he'd nearly lost him, that he could have lost Beth, tears for their friend that he had to put down, tears because he wanted his family to talk to, to just be there, tears because this was so brutal, tears because Rick wasn't there to share the burden, because this was all so heavy, and he had to do all the lifting, tears because he was afraid...because he loved.

Eventually Beth's hand on his shoulder pulled him away from his fears and he drew the boy back, noticing the sticky brown blood that he'd left over him.

"It's okay, Daddy." Jakob mumbled, which had a new set of emotions running through Daryl, but he pushed it down and stood, holding the boy still.

He looked to Beth who had tears of her own and pulled her with the hand that wasn't holding Jakob into him and pressed a kiss to her head. He sniffed and pulled back squeezing Elizabeth on the shoulder as a silent thank you, not just for breathing life back into his boy, but for not leaving him, even when she was sure she was going to die. He had seen it in that moment his arrow had hit the walker in front of her, he knew she thought she was gone, but she stayed anyway. He swallowed hard, squeezed Jakob again and handed him carefully to Beth.

"Gah back ta camp...we'll finish up here." He nodded to Dale.

Dale agreed, before kissing his wife's cheek and steadying her shaky arms, before following Daryl to make the rounds, putting down anyone who was bit and dragging the bodies away.


	40. Just a dog or somethin'

Daryl was seething with anger when he arrived back at the camp, carrying the dead in tow. Beth knew exactly how angry he was because he was so silent, so raw in the way he moved, so rough, lacking the decency to carry their friend with care, dropping her like she was little more than a squirrel he'd brought back from hunting.

Yeah, that was Daryl all hurting and angry and twisted up.

Dale helped carry Janet back. She had been such a lovely woman, Daryl would never forget what she had done for Jakob, of course he didn't see it happen, but he knew by the way her body was crouched over his, and the scratches on her back, that she had covered the boy with her own body. It made him so mad that she'd had to do that, if half the group hadn't run of the way they had, they could've protected the old and the young. Eighty wasn't a huge number, he scoffed at that, in the beginning only a dozen had raided that little camp and they called that a herd, now eighty seemed manageable.

Daryl shared a look with Dale, it was full of anger and frustration and hurt. He looked to Jakob who was propped up on a table by Beth and Elizabeth, drinking a bottle of water. Dinner was being served, and some people were wandering around with food, as if nothing had happened, while others sat quietly in the corner.

He crossed to his family and pulled Jakob's chin up to look at him, he just had to inspect the boy, see that he was safe, see that he was alive. Jakob didn't flinch now, even when Daryl was raw and rough with him like this, the boy knew he had nothing to fear "Ya good?"

Jakob nodded.

"Hm." Daryl grunted and looked to Beth, scanning her, checking she was okay. He seemed to be satisfied with that and glanced at Elizabeth, and decided she was okay too, before looking back to Jakob. "What happened?"

Jakob shrugged. "I couldn't breathe, then it went black."

"Somethin' wrong with ya?"Daryl questioned, receiving another shrug from Jakob.

"I think he has asthma." Elizabeth explained.

Daryl screwed up his face. "We got stuff to fix that?"

Elizabeth shook her head, "I think it would be hard to come by. I'm sure people would've looted that long ago... I know some old wives' tales, tricks and recipes that might help...alot of people grow out of it." She explained.

Daryl looked back to Jakob momentarily, before he was distracted by a woman crying over her husband's dead body.

"What was the count?"Beth's question was quiet.

"Eight, 'cludin' Janet and another woman who obviously couldn't keep up." Daryl answered.

"Why'd everyone run?" Beth asked looking to Dale.

Dale shook his head before explaining, "Women don't fight."

Daryl scowled at that. "God damn bunch'a fools, ya ask me. Not fightin' don't stop ya from bein' walker chow."

Another woman crying caught Daryl's eye. She was looking down at the body closest to them, Daryl's eyes scanned her, she had a gun on her hip and a knife, he remembered her running past him earlier, running back to camp with those weapons. She could've been the difference between a life or two. "Quit ya hollerin' go cry somewhere else!" Daryl snapped at her.

"How dare you!" She screwed up her face with disgust at her attitude.

Daryl raised his eyebrows. "How dare I? Are ya for real, woman? You with ya pretty little gun and ya big ass knife? Yeah, I saw ya out there, runnin' away like some yella belly coward. They ain't for decoratin' ya know." Daryl had stepped up in her face now.

"Leave me alone!" The woman sobbed. "You don't know what it's like, you have your family still." She looked past him to Beth and Jakob.

"Yeah that's because they were fightin', N'I was out there protectin' them, stupid bitch. Think I don't know what it's like! I know, I know what it's like to lose people and that's why I ain't just runnin' of 'n leaven 'em alone. I was out there fightin' without my knife and there you go prancing on past and ya ain't even gonna stop to help. Ya sookin' ova ya man there, maybe he'd still be alive if ya'd done somethin'!" Daryl's voice had drawn the attention of the whole group now.

He looked around glaring them all down and instead of shrinking back from their glances, it was infuriating him more. "Yeah, ya heard me, wouldn't be buryin' eight people if ya'd fought, if ya'd stood by each other. Maybe ya'd be buryin' two or just one, hell maybe ya'd be buryin' none, if any of ya'd thought ta do somethin." His voice was rough and grated as he looked back to the woman. "Ya don't get ta cry over him, you killed him." His attention returned to the group. "Ya don't get ta cry over these." He waved to the eight dead bodies. "Ya don't get ta cry 'causey'all ran off protectin' ya own asses! Y'all killed 'em!" He looked to a little girl who had tears running down her face, he recognized her, he'd put her father down minutes earlier. "You get to cry, you're a kid, all you kids under the age of holdin' a knife get ta cry, you get ta cry." He pointed to Elizabeth. "Because ya tried to help out, and you men that did something, ya get ta cry, you know who else gets ta cry?"Daryl waved to the dead bodies "These dumbasses here get ta cry because they went down fightin', the rest of ya', no-good pieces of shit don't get ta cry! And I'll tell ya something else." Beth's hand was on Daryl's arm, his face snapped to hers and she shook her head slightly, he shrugged her off slightly but it had defeated him, his voice was shaken. "Ya'll should'a done something, should'a stood by each other..." He added.

"Daryl?" Her voice interrupted his raging. He was pacing, his chest was heaving, his face was past red, black spots pressed at the corners of his vision, he put his hands up and braced his temples, he couldn't believe they'd just run and leave their people like that, he wouldn't do that to a damn dog. Actually, on that thought where is his dog?

"Where's my dog?" He yelled out in realization. "Slayer!" When the dog didn't magically appear he panicked, where was he? Had a walker got him? Was he out there suffering? "Slayer! Slayer!" Daryl was pacing circles, calling the dog like a mad man. People stood back, silently looking between themselves as Daryl searched through the crowd of legs and couldn't see the stupid mutt. His steps faltered at the realization, that the last time he'd seen the thing it was taking down a walker, one must've got the better of him. This was worse than Ollie, this dog had been so much more, he didn't know it until now, but that stupid ugly mutt was his family and he'd lost him, let him down. His shoulders slumped at that thought and a stray tear tracked down his face "OneEye...where are ya boy?" the second half came out as more of a sob than a shout, and this time he didn't pull back from Beth's hand, but instead collapsed into it in a fit of heaving breaths. "Where is he?" He wrapped his arms around her."Where... did I leave him?"Daryl's knees finally buckled and he fell to the ground, managing to keep hold of at least one of Beth's legs and stopping himself from laying flat on his ass.

Beth had never seen Daryl so helpless and the realization that it was this group running out on each other that had made him feel like that caused a strange anger to build inside of her. She eyed the audience carefully, they all looked afraid of him, all looked angry with him, she frowned. "He's right, you know, ya'll need to fight, ya can'tkeep running. You women, you children…the walkers don't make a preference, you've got to look after yourselves." She stated, before relief washed over her at the sight of seeing Slayer's white body bounding up and licking Daryl across the face merrily.

Daryl let his hands run through the dog's fur for a moment and it seemed to be some sort of healing to him; he swallowed and wiped his face and scooped the limping dog into his arms. He was a little embarrassed over the falling on the ground and calling his dog like an idiot, but what was done was done. He stood again, cradling the dog and looked around, he'd made a decision, much like Rick had after the farm, these people needed leading and he was going to do it. "Tonight, we go carve up that good deer, we bury our dead and tomorrow, you people are gonna learn to fight, and I don't wanna hear none of this 'women and children don't fight' bull crap. I wanna see everyone of your pussy asses on the field." Daryl scolded them and, after receiving various nods, "Anyone that don't show up gonna get a bolt in their back right!" he threatened, eyeing almost each person individually before sitting his dog on the table beside Jakob and storming over and picking up a plate, loading it with a generous helping of food, before returning to his family and sharing it, completely unaffected by the feel of a thousand eyes on him. Everyone seemed to disperse now that he was done, and he was able to concentrate on his family again.

Most people avoided him for the night, of course there were exceptions like Billy who had whole heartedly agreed with Daryl. It took a while, but Judy eventually made her way over, smiling awkwardly. "I just wanted to say, I think you're right, Daryl. We should all fight."

Daryl eyed the woman up and down before nodding.

She smiled slightly. "I think it's important... I really respect that you're stepping up and showing us how it's done." She smiled coyly and that was about all Daryl could take.

"Don't think I didn't see ya runnin' away, stupid whore, just as gutless as the rest of 'em." Daryl scolded her, which apparently was enough to send her packing. Beth couldn't help but smile inwardly at her face, the way it fell, her turning on her heel and running away, but she knew he didn't do it for her this time. He was just hurting so much he didn't care again and that worried Beth, because she knew he was just as likely to push her away as the rest of the group.

Daryl finished his meal, then took Dale and Billy to go and carve the deer, grateful for the free food, in hindsight, they should've readied themselves the moment the deer ran past them. Why the hell would they run out into the open unless they were being chased?

Daryl busied himself through the night, burying the dead, stacking the bodies, doing anything really to keep his mind of the thought of that lovely old woman that had saved Jakob in her selfless act. Just another thing to add to things that would haunt him forever he supposed. Again he had failed, again someone else had to protect his family, because he couldn't, again he had made a mistake and Janet had paid for it with her life.


	41. hurtin somethin'

**A/N Ok first things first, sorry about the rating last chapter. I was not trying to be tricky at all, I've had two people inbox me asking me to warn them of ANY chapters that have ANY sexual content in them at all, the make out scene in the cabin apparently felt uncomfortable and shocking, so any chapters that has a make out sesh that is more than a kiss is being rated M to warn them, not to trick yous. Also I know some of you are keenly awaiting the sex scene, which, WILL come, I'm not afraid of writing it, (it's actually written) but I'm only posting a chapter a day so you're just going to have to wait for it. (Yes this story is pretty much me practicing those more intimate scenes because I've never done that before. (written it, not done it lol) but I don't want to rush in and just throw it in to be a crowd pleaser... although.. no, I'm sticking to the plan.) **

**I'm sorry if some of you think Daryl is being too well behaved, but he's got allot of emotional scars and I feel that that always trumps sex, because this thing he's got going with Beth is more than sex, it's about really connecting emotionally, and giving everything over to her, and when he's done with that, (Not once he thinks he is, but when he actually is.) then I'm sure he will be keen as. Of course who knows wether Beth is going to have her own reservations or not once she actually gets what she thinks she wants, because don't forget she is really young and maybe the idea is a little frightening after all. (although its Daryl so how many reservations could you have?) So yeah it will just be waiting for an opportunity, which in a zombie world may not be as easy as it seems, because Daryl will want it to be perfect. If he just wants sex he can run of with Judy ;)**

**SPOILER ALLERT**

**I will tell you this, you're roughly three quarters to the scene, it probably won't be when you expect it, or how you expect it, or where, and I'm hoping it will leave you going.. 'oh ok I didn't see that coming.' And I'm hoping that because of the circumstances, all the stuff that's happening around and after, and during the multiple times that they just turn into nymphomaniacs will still keep the story exciting. **

**So sorry, but you really just have to wait :D Rant over.**

**Please enjoy. xx**

It was mid afternoon before Daryl had finally returned to the RV. He had stayed up through the night, first carving the deer, then moving the walkers, digging graves to bury the dead. By the time that had been sorted he had dropped by for breakfast, checking in on his family, not talking but poking his head in and scanning the four of them, before Dale entered and took a short break.

Beth wondered idly when she started referring to these people she had known for little more than two weeks as family, Daryl had done it too, not with words but with the way he looked at Elizabeth and Dale.

Daryl hadn't said anything, just headed off to teach the group some survival skills, ignoring the blood now dried on his arms, tirelessly teaching woman after woman and child after child the basics of knives. After that he had been occupied helping Dale plan another run in an attempt to find Jakob some medication. It was around that time that Dale had looked at him and told him he looked like shit and he should go and clean up, he still had that walker blood dried and encrusted on him, from the evening before, and he hadn't had a chance to sleep yet either.

Beth had heard Dale telling him off, and caught the resinated scowl as Daryl thumped of towards the van. Beth had not even finished up her conversation with Elizabeth, which wasn't really important, she was only complaining about Cheryl playing dumb with her knife so that Daryl would lean over and readjust her arms. Elizabeth had given her a knowing look and simply stopped talking, and Beth had briefly smiled and asked her to watch Jakob and followed him.

She should have said something when she stepped in the van, but something about his movements were a little harsh, a little pained. She didn't know what to say, so she just leant back against the door frame, thinking she had been noisy enough when she came in. But a few moments later she thought perhaps he didn't know she was there, but still no words came to her, so she just watched him, leaning over the bathroom sink, his head hanging and his shoulders shaking,

He wasn't crying or anything, just letting out worried half sobs, and she knew he was breaking, but she had nothing to offer, because she was feeling just as scared and hopeless and sad at the loss of their friend, at the fact that it was neither of them that had protected Jakob, at the realization that this group was not like their family, who were so far away, apart from Dale Elizabeth and Janet these people would not die to protect them, they would run and leave them, and that realization was terrifying, because they might as well be out there on their own.

They needed their family, and they needed them _now_. 'C'mon man, such a pussy, buck up.' he sniffed, and Beth frowned slightly, his words even to himself were so sharp and mean. 'Jus' some ole' bitch ain't even know her name last week.' he mumbled to himself as he pulled his shirt of his shoulders. 'Cryin' like a bitch, Merles right huh?'

Beth glanced up and caught sight of his back, the two tattoos that she'd seen hints of but had never seen, glaring at her, and yet they sitting there so dark on his white skin paled against the scars that covered him. They were obvious and shocking, and yet they were just him. It made sense that some part of him should look as his soul does, scared and twisted and full of old wounds that have healed but can never really disappear.

It didn't occur to her for a moment that they had happened since the turn, they were old and stretched with his skin as it had grown, and Beth wondered idly, how hard you had to beat someone for their skin to break open and leave such deep and torn scars, they weren't the thin silvery lines that had resulted from cuts, they were open, and rigid and looked as if they had been torn open again and again as they tried to heal, just like him.

She glanced at his reflection in the mirror and he was attempting to wash the dried blood from his chest, that had slopped in a messy V down his neck where the shirt opened, it was just spreading and dripping again, he dipped his arms in the sink where he had poured the water. 'Still fuckin' cryin' huh boy, when ya gonna get over that pussy shit?' He recited Merle's words to him. As he tried to scrub of the blood with an old towel, but most of it either just stuck or spread. 'Look at ya, cryin' like ya had ya first trip to the bone yard in a back alley, 'n the bastard din' get ya number. Make me sick as fuck little brother.'

Beth's gaze returned back to his back, watching the scars that rippled over the muscles and her heart sunk at that a little. That people... anyone could do that to him, and then she thought about what he had told her, pieced it all together, everything she knew about Daryl and, it all made sense, made sense why he was who he was, she'd always understood him, always just got that he wasn't mean because he wanted to be, but now she understood how the turn had softened him, understood that he had been fighting since he was a child, understood the burden that was lifted when he finally was able to have something to hit back at, she understood why he had those moments that were animalistic and cruel, because that's all he had been fed growing up, and she wondered how he managed to show any kindness at all.

'Ya done gawkin'?' His voice was harsh and her eyes snapped to his reflection in the mirror with a jump.

He was aware that he could turn away, but there wasn't anywhere he could go, she was blocking the door, and there was a mirror behind him, and when he had looked up and caught her stare she didn't look shocked, so obviously she had been looking long enough that the shock had passed, there was no point hiding it now.

She was studying him and it occurred to him, that she was the only person that had ever done that, no one had seen this part of him, not like this, of course his father had seen them, when he put them there, and his sister had when she healed them, and Merle had but only briefly, there had been others that had spotted them and reeled back in fear or teasing or just utter disgust, but no one had studied it like this, and it made him uncomfortable, but Beth had already got an eye full, so it was pointless hiding it now, she knew what he was now, weak and broken and too much of a coward to stand up and do something.

She jutted her chin forward and squinted at the pain on his face. 'I want to ask Elizabeth and Dale to come with us'

Daryl dropped his gaze slightly. 'What?'

'To D.C? I don't want to leave them here, I think they'll be safer with us.' She continued.

He took in a shaky breath and continued scrubbing the blood of his arms. Her refusal to acknowledge what she had so openly been studying was annoying. 'Ya got nothin' ta say?'

Beth pressed her lips into a line and decided to cross over to him. 'I'm talking aren't I?'

He turned to look at her, or maybe just because he didn't like someone standing that close behind him. Beth pushed him back a little so that he sat on the lid of the tiny toilet as she took the towel from his hands and rinsed it before scrubbing at the blood, his body seemed limp and cold, and it sent a pain to her heart, because Daryl only let people be attentive to him like this when things were bad. 'Just thinking, winters almost over, we have a car now, maybe we should go.'

He couldn't look her in the eyes, he simply nodded.

'Maybe a day or so for you to rest, then maybe another week to you know, help teach these guys to defend themselves, maybe you could do another run try and get something for Jake and then we could head up?'

Daryl didn't answer, just sat there while Beth cleaned his arms and moved to his chest. She stepped back and rinsed the towel again and wiped at his face, lifting his chin to look at her. 'It'd be nice you know, see Maggie again... you could see Rick, and Michonne, things could be like they used to...' She paused and kissed his forehead. 'Well not exactly like they used to...Jake and...Carl...' She paused because there was no Judith. 'They might get on?'

Beth rinsed the rag again and wiped of the blood from his neck, scraping at a bit that had dried on his jaw, mixed in with the hairs there, and then bent his head forward wiping at the back of his neck and cleaning up what had dripped down his back. His muscled tightened, and Beth didn't miss it, but she ignored it and continued.

'Got nothin' to say, no questions? Just nothin'?'

Beth shrugged slightly. 'Just wished you wouldn't talk to yourself like that, it's so harsh, and I know why you do it, I just wished you knew that it was ok to be kind to yourself.' Beth smiled and bent to kiss his temple.

Now he was all clean she hung the towel over the basin and pulled the plug, letting the bloodied water fall out somewhere under the van before rinsing her hand with a little more water from the bottle and turning back to him.

'You look so tired, go have a sleep, I can bring you tea.' She suggested.

Daryl didn't move, so she placed an encouraging hand on his shoulder and that somehow breathed life back into him. He snapped it away sharply 'Ya just gonna act like it's all normal, like it don't scare ya, like ya don't think I'm d'scustin'?' He stood and pushed past her looking frantically for a shirt.

Beth stood grounded and answered. 'I don't think any of that.'

His eyes shot to hers. 'Then you pity me?' His voice was angry and held no reservation.

She shook her head. 'You think a few scars change how I see you?'

Daryl seemed to draw back a little, and he looked as if he was panicking as he searched for words.

'It doesn't, I don't pity you, I never could, look at you Daryl, you're built for this, you're going to survive it, and that's probably because of those... how can I pity that? What you think it's ugly? That you look scary? You don't, you just look like you always have...'

Daryl scowled which sent Beth on another spiel. 'What you think I think you're a pussy, because you didn't stop it? I don't, you were a kid Daryl, and the only thing I feel about that; is understanding, because I do, I get it... and I know you're about to walk out that door, and you're not going to talk to me for a week because you've just realized that you let me in a little, and that's going to have you scared shitless, and you're going to run, because when you aren't fighting you're running, and you won't fight me Daryl, you never will and you never just stand still and face it!' Beth swallowed hard, she'd gone far enough that there was no going back so she soldiered ahead.

'And I'm not going to be hurt by that Daryl, I'm not going to be hurt that you're going to be mean and stop talking to me, I'm going to just accept it... and I'm not going to think you're weak because you can't just be ok with letting someone be close to you, I'm not going to think it's stupid, that you're going to disappear and beat up on walkers and come home growling like some wounded animal, because I get it. I get that when you're hurting you've got to take it out on something, because if you don't you're scared that you'll end up like him... like your dad.' She paused to wipe a tear, because although she promised she wouldn't be hurt _by _him, _it_ hurt her.

'I've seen it... I see it, the way you look sometimes... but you'll never do it, you'll never hurt me or Jake, because you're not like him...' She paused to swallow before continuing. 'I'm not going to tell you, that it's ok, that it will be ok, I'm not going to tell you, that we will make it out ok, I'm not going to tell you that none of this matters, or that I don't think you look a little frightening, I'm not going to tell you that I love you, or that it's ok for you to act like you do.'

'Then what are you gonna say huh? Coz it sounds an awful lot like you is sayin' that.' Daryl spat in defiance.

'I'm gonna tell you what I know.' She answered, earning another deeper glare. 'I know you don't wanna hear all that, because I know what they are Daryl, they're just like you, And it doesn't matter how much time has passed, you will always carry the pain of those sorts of memories, because they have been so inbuilt into you, and every time you have tried to let it heal, it has all broken open again and proved that things won't change, and it doesn't matter that things are different now, that that doesn't happen, that I'm not going to walk out on you, because your memories are just like those scars, twisted memories of pain that has healed but refuses to forgive, and you're waiting for the day that some dark part of your soul bares itself to me and sends me running, because that has always happened to you. You know what I'm going to tell you? That it's ok, I know that, and I'm not afraid of that, or them... or you, because I've always known that, from the beginning I knew you were always going to push, but that's ok because I'm always going to pull, and we will balance it out..., they're not scary Daryl, they're just...you.'

He was cautiously eying the girl, wondering how she again could reach into his soul and understand him so completely, and the thought crossed his mind that that could be a beautiful and amazing thing, only it wasn't because in reality, if she could do that, then she knew exactly how to hurt him if she wanted to, and that possibility worried fiercely at his mind, it felt unbearable. It scared him, that knowledge backed him into a corner and made him feel like a little child in a darkened room surrounded by monsters that refused to move, and even though he knew the feeling was as unreal as those monsters could be, it still sent him running and screaming terrified that it, or she might devour him. He shrugged into his shirt annoyed he had nothing to rebut her words with.

'You know what else? I am going to tell you that you are a pussy Daryl Dixon... you are! because you're too scared to just deal with it, you're too scared to let me love you, and that is about the most gutless thing you can do, so go ahead, leave!' Beth was yelling now, but she didn't care in the least. 'You're not going to hurt me, you can't take anything away from me, I've already lost everything, I don't have a heart for you to break anymore Daryl! And I know you, you will push me away and you will come crawling back in a little while, and none of it will matter, because I love you and you love me and it doesn't matter how god damn gutless you are about that, it's the truth! But don't you dare get mad at me because I won't hate you, you don't get to be mad about that!'

Daryl was scowling and didn't have words to reply with because she had done it again, called him on himself, understood him better than he could, anticipated his next action, and the one after, and blown him away with her unbridled faith and love in him. How was it that she understood why he was mad, even before he had? How could someone as beautiful and strong and smart as her love him like she did? There was only one explanation. 'Stupid bitch.' And with that and the last button on his shirt buttoned he stormed out the van.

Beth followed him out and screamed at him 'You're nothing but a red neck pussy Daryl Dixon, and I might be a stupid bitch, but you ain't gonna change a thing as long as you keep running!'

Daryl ignored her, ignored the thousand eyes on him as he thudded over to the kitchen tent in the hopes of some food or any god damned thing to distract him, he ignored it all until his face harshly came into contact with someone's hand.

His eyes widened in a feral rage, and he lifted his fist, but the words that accompanied it stated his anger 'You're going to lose her!' Dale's voice interrupted him. 'Turn your ass around and go apologize boy!'

Dale was not sure what they were arguing about but he was pretty sure, Daryl must've acted his same ass self that he had been all morning. He wasn't backing down even at Daryl's glare. 'I don't care what your problem is, or what shit you've got to deal with or whether you deserve her or not. You're hurting her, not yourself... so you turn your ass around and beg her forgiveness and make it right before you hurt her so much that you can't forgive yourself for it.' Dale grabbed his arms, shaking him slightly to force his attention. 'Because god damn it, she will... she will forgive you every time! That's who she is, and she might be a dumbass, but she loves you boy, so get your ass back there, and you crawl in that van on your hands and knees and make it right' Dale advised with undeniable passion, Daryl looked at the man, because really no one told him how to handle his shit, but the man's eyes looked pleading, like he was trying to prevent a mistake that was made long ago. Dale shifted a little before dropping his voice a little. 'If she loves ya, then you are good enough, you might never believe it, but she will, don't spend the next ten years tryna prove her wrong... you don't have to win on this one.'

Daryl scowled at the older man, he knew the man wasn't meddling, he knew the words came from a saddened memory and something in that knowledge made Daryl nod. He knew that he and Beth were so much like Dale and Elizabeth, and for whatever reason both the beautiful woman had fallen for two animals. He knew, he and Dale deep down were the same once, and somehow, Dale had managed to become someone that Elizabeth had always believed him to be, maybe it's because he didn't walk away, maybe he had pushed and pushed and maybe Elizabeth, like Beth had refused to let go, maybe that's what had changed him, made him the sort of person that Daryl could respect, the sort of person that could love Elizabeth, maybe that's what Beth was doing... that chance was enough.

Daryl turned and headed back to the R.V, pushing it all aside, pushing his fears away, pushing the fact that he was so empty right now away, not thinking about Janet, or the weight of trying to teach a camp to care for themselves, pushing the thought that he had to put down people that he had come to know, pushing that little girls face away when he dropped her father back at camp. Not thinking about all the things he had failed at, Sophia and Judith and Carl, and Patrick, all of them, not thinking about all the people he had reached out for; that had slapped him in the face, knocked him on his back and left him alone... just Beth, he only thought of Beth. He was hurting her again and even if one day she did do all that to him, he couldn't bring himself to being ok with hurting her now. Dale was right, he had to make it right.

He stepped into the R.V. and didn't bother announcing himself, he crossed to her and attempted to say something that would make it right, but he was caught a little off guard by her resigned body language. 'Daryl... I can't have you yell at me just yet... I'm done, just give me time.'

And it was only now that he saw tears dripping down her cheeks, because she was wrong, he could hurt her, she in her noble kindness for him had said he couldn't, but he could and he was and that was so painful. It was an overwhelming and heart breaking pain and it filled up the emptiness, and it gave him the will to fight again, not _with_ her but _for _her. His lips crushed against hers, that's not what he had planned, he had planned to just start with _sorry_, but it hadn't come, instead he had this, and if this was all he had, he'd give it to her.

It took Beth a minute to push him back. 'What are you doing?' She shook her head as she wiped her tears, too confused to focus properly.

Daryl shook his head, he wished he knew. 'Ain't no pussy Beth, and I'm tired of runin'...tired of fightin'... I'm standin' here.' He answered, and he answered the doubtful look on her face by ripping his shirt of and discarding it on the floor, because even though this wasn't about a few scars on his back, he was ready to show her all of him, to stop hiding from her, to be willing to just cry and let her take care of him when he had too, instead of abusing her and running away. He was ready to say sorry if he had too, and answer every question she ever had, he was ready to be the person she wanted. And tired, and worn and feeling too heavy under the weight of what he had to do every day or not, he was here and he was always going to be here, and there was a fear that she was going to hurt him or laugh at him or run away from him, but it didn't matter because she was there now as solid as any grounding force could be and he was tired of fighting it.

Beth somehow understood all of it, and she smiled up at him. 'Daryl, if you mess with me, I mean it..'

'I'll bolt myself down...done it 'fore, can do it again.' He answered flatly.

And the slight humour did not soften the meaning of his words, and when Beth pushed him onto the bed he didn't fight her, he didn't fight the tender kiss that she gave him, or the way her hand ran through his hair and over his shoulder, grazing at the scars that had never felt a kind touch, and he didn't fight the peace or the silence that he felt in her arms, he simply closed his eyes and let it all wash over him.

The only thing he fought was the voice in his head that screamed not to say it, but he did, he forced it out because it had to be voiced, it was as real as anything he'd ever had, and he had to confirm it. 'I love you...'

It was such a quiet mumble and she didn't understand the words, but she understood it was something special, perhaps it was an apology or an admission or a fear, she didn't know, but she leaned down and kissed his head, because whatever it was, it felt very much like the final gate in that wall he had built around his heart being opened to her, and she understood that loud and clear. 'Sleep Daryl.' she answered.

And he did, finally for the first time in two days, maybe for the first time in his life, it was warm and peaceful and so comfortable... and safe.

**A/N As usual, please review :D**


	42. Somethin' just like Daryl

**A/N Thankyou everyone for your support in reading this! And yay we made to 100 Alerts! How cool is that! Also 250 Reviews, which is like nearly halfway to my goal! Can't believe that idea is happening!**

**Also sorry this story is a 'Rollercoaster.' It's sort of meant to be, I think it's hard to remember to keep the characters in that world instead of ours, it's so intense, not just physically, but emotionally, and yet their brain doesn't always catch up enough to register everything, hence the fast slow up down pace, because you react in high stress situations, so they do things, then when it slows down they think about it, and try to change their approach, but then end up forced to do something else, so it's just this constant push and pull.**

**Hope you are all enjoying anyway.**

**Also sorry yes, those of you who don't sign in, your reviews come 24-48 hours after I post, so I usually get the chapter or the chapter two previous to the one I've posted, so sorry, any of your suggestions and comments get to me a little late, but that doesn't mean I appreciate them any less. :D**

Beth sat deadly still unsure if any movement could make things worse. Elizabeth held Jakob to her chest, reminding him how to breathe in and out, and the boys arms slowly settled and his raspy breaths followed hers.

He had been getting worse, which was delaying their trip, but there was nothing they could do about that. Daryl had been on numerous runs with Dale and Bill and a few others but none of them really came back with anything useful for Jakob, someone found him a fumes mask that they suggested might filter out the pollen in the air, which was a guess at why he had suddenly flared up. The poor boy was wearing it constantly when he was outside, and was only allowed to take it off when eating or inside their own or Elizabeth and Dale's vans.

It wasn't helping though and they knew it. Beth wondered briefly how his parents had dealt with it thus far, but like Elizabeth said maybe it had not been this bad before, maybe they had medication, maybe they knew what set him off. There were so many maybes. Obviously the pollen of spring affected him.

Beth nervously shifted her gaze back to them, Jakob's face was starting to relax, and his arm now stretched to the table fingering the cars there lightly. Beth smiled at him and he managed a smile back.

'You keep scaring me so much.' she stated.

'I'm sor-ry.' he breathed.

'Shh don't talk sweetie.' Elizabeth advised. 'Just breathe.'

Jakob obeyed her and they continued for another ten minutes until he had calmed and was able to breathe on his own. None of them spoke, they just waited patiently.

Elizabeth finally gave him a little reassuring squeeze as he sat up. 'Can I go and play now?' he questioned.

Beth passed him a pack of cards, pulling him in for a hug. And then let him take his cars to Elizabeth's bed where he lied, lazily pushing the cars over the creases in the quilt.

'You love him like your own don't you?' Elizabeth said, it wasn't a question, more an explanation of what she saw.

Beth nodded. 'I couldn't love anyone more.' And it was true, even if she had her own child she couldn't love it more than she loved Jakob. He was different to the way she loved Judith, somewhere in the back of her mind she had always been reserved in her love in Judith, she knew that she had a father, that she had a place with someone else but her. But Jakob she gave all her heart too, he belonged to her as much as he belonged to Daryl and he was no one else's. 'Didn't know you could care so much about someone so small.' And Beth felt her throat tighten because every time Jakob's throat closed over it sent a frenzy of fear to her brain, and when it was all over she felt she had to let it out, but she was determined to hold back the tears.

Elizabeth smiled, 'Most people wouldn't take in a child.' she dropped her head. 'I heard one man call them dead weight once, others have called them walker bait... you and Daryl...thank goodness you're different, I couldn't imagine_ him_ alone.'

Beth frowned, she had never heard people talk like that about children, but then she had always had a good group. She took in a deep breath and pushed the sadness for all the children that didn't have that away. 'We want you and Dale to come with us to D.C...'

Elizabeth smiled softly before shaking her head. 'We're too old to travel... It would be long and hard, and here is not so bad.' She let out a deep breath. 'No we will just wait it out here until one of us turns.' Elizabeth decided.

'And then what?'

'And then we will...you know.' She motioned shooting her own head.

Beth's brow furrowed. 'That's awful!'

Elizabeth shrugged. 'We've talked about it, neither one of us want to live without the other, were old, we know we don't have much time left, it could happen anytime, while Dale is on a run, he's slower than the younger boys, Maybe I'll step out one morning and be caught by surprise, it could even happen in our sleep.'

Beth shook her head. 'It doesn't have to be like that, you can come with us, you'll have a family, a home, people that love you, more than just waiting out death.' Beth asked the woman, her voice pleading.

Elizabeth considered her for a moment. 'You're so strong.' she commented.

Beth scoffed at that, here she was considering bursting into tears at the thought of leaving the woman that had somehow come to be such a dear friend. 'Maggie has always been the strong one, so determined, I just do what I'm told most of the time.' Beth rebutted.

'No you don't.' Elizabeth answered, and it was said with a little pride.

Beth shrugged. 'Maybe not, not any more,' Yes that used to be true, but not now... 'Daryl's taught me not to just lie down and take stuff.' Beth smiled lightly. 'Although I think he regrets that now.'

Elizabeth chuckled a little before returning to eying Beth seriously. 'He's been pretty rough the last few days huh?'

Beth nodded, but didn't betray anything.

'So has Dale... they never really lose it, I mean I don't have to holler at him for the whole camp to hear, but he's quieter, withdrawn, they both took it hard... like a failure on their part... because of Janet, I think Dale feels abandoned all over again when everyone runs... and it's hard to put down the living... I don't think Dale has had to do it like that, I can only imagine Daryl... after that.'

Beth's eyes shot up, remembering how Daryl had had to shoot poor Janet in her arms. 'He wasn't being cruel...she was in pain.'

Elizabeth nodded understandingly. 'I know, you both did the kindest thing, I just don't know if we could have done that... I think it's things like that that weigh heavy on his mind.'

Beth shrugged lightly. 'It's not the first time he's had to do it... and it probably won't be the last, I just wished he wouldn't try and do it all on his own.'

'So nothings improving then?' Elizabeth queried looking a little confused.

'No, I mean... actually yes.' She let out a tiny laugh. 'After Dale sent him back he's been so different, so affectionate...and just... open, he's letting me in instead of pushing me away, things are finally happening I think.' Beth answered as she tried to wipe away the dark blush that stained her face.

'You're ready for things to...happen?' Elizabeth asked, and it was with concern not curiosity.

Beth nodded, almost sure of herself. 'I hope so, I've been waiting long enough.'

'Good.' Elizabeth smiled, her eyes trained on Beth's. 'Because he asked Dale if we could watch Jakob one night soon.'

Beth looked up again, her cheeks reddening again. 'Oh really?' She coughed slightly as her throat caught. 'About time I guess...' She scratched at her hair, she wasn't itchy , it was just something to do.

Elizabeth laughed along with Beth's nervous giggle, Before returning to her smile. She took in a deep breath and continued. 'I have some things you might need.' The woman crossed to the cupboard and pulled out a bag and gave it to Beth.

Beth eyed it curiously with a suspicious smile before looking into it and snapping it shut again. 'Oh' Beth cleared her throat. 'Where'd you get this?'

Elizabeth shrugged, 'My granddaughter picked out the underwear when we were scavenging a wall mart, she was about your size... She... didn't get a chance to wear it, and it's just been floating around.' Her voice caught slightly on the obviously painful memory.

Beth peeked back in the bag to the lime green underwear, she wanted to apologize to Elizabeth for her granddaughter, but it seemed too sad, so she made a joke instead. 'Glad she went for the push up... good taste.'

Elizabeth laughed at that, before letting her smile disappear. '...Sorry Dale has used the razor, But I thought you might like to clean up.'

Beth gave the older woman a grateful grin before reaching in and pulling out the three remaining items.

A candle, a condom and a cigarette, and held them up, she hadn't meant to grab the condom, that was obvious, but the other two had her frowning. Elizabeth shrugged, 'Got to set the mood right...and I dunno, if Daryl's as much like Dale as he seems to be, I thought he might be a cigarette afterwards kind of guy, actually Dale thought.' Elizabeth winked.

Beth giggled at that. 'Thank you so much Elizabeth, this is all so kind of you. It really does mean allot... I'm so nervous.' Beth admitted shyly. 'I thought my sister would be here to you know... give me a heads up, but since she can't...I'm really glad you are'

Elizabeth smiled ever so slightly before letting a little frown play on her face. 'You need a heads up?'

Beth blushed violently again. 'Oh I mean...' she scoffed at herself, that's not how she meant it but yes. 'I just meant this...but yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing...' Beth bit her bottom lip for a moment and wondered if it was ok to ask the woman, she decided she would. 'Can I do it badly?... I'll figure it out right?'

Elizabeth smiled. 'Didn't think girls were so innocent nowadays.'

Beth shrugged and took in a deep breath. 'No I think most people got to look it up on the internet and ask all their stupid questions and I dunno, look at pictures, there was probably a step by step on wiki, but I was fourteen when this started, It wasn't 100% on my mind, I googled how to French kiss, but I didn't even get to try that before the turn, I was mostly googeling ponies and kittens and stuff.' She admitted with embarrassment.

Elizabeth listened with her knowing smile until Beth was finished, and then she leant forward and put her hand on Beth's 'It's ok...you can't do it wrong, Don't expect to see stars the first time, but it defiantly gets better...'

Beth bit her lip slightly, holding back her embarrassment. 'Does it hurt? My friend said it does... allot.'

'It won't always hurt.' Elizabeth looked up. 'Don't worry it's not that painful, I'm sure Daryl knows what he's doing.' And then Elizabeth retracted that. 'Doesn't he?'

Beth had the urge to tell her to mind her own business but she understood the woman was simply caring, and Beth was the one who had asked. 'I hope so...'

Elizabeth shook her head. 'I mean...he has you know, done it before?... I mean if he hasn't Dale can have a chat to him.'

Beth shook her head and looked to her lap. 'Nah, he said he has.'

'Sorry.' Elizabeth actually looked a little embarrassed now. 'Just can't imagine too many girls gushing over him with that foul attitude he always has.' Elizabeth laughed and then felt a little guilty.

'I know! I must be such a fool, huh?' Beth smiled again, but she couldn't hide the nervousness on her face.

Elizabeth tried her best encouraging voice. 'It will be ok, I know Daryl's rough in everything else, but I'm sure he'll be a perfect gentleman in this... It's not as scary as it seems, and if he's not gentle about it, you come right back here and tell me and I'll tell Dale to go kick his butt ok.'

Beth nodded with a wide smile, and stood before reaching for her bag and leaning to kiss the woman's cheek 'Thankyou Elizabeth... you're like the grandmother I never had.' Beth said honestly before looking to Jakob and motioning him over.

Elizabeth didn't move, but when Beth's hand rested on the door handle, she spoke. 'I'll talk to Dale about it... about Washington...' She decided, and that perked Beth's face up a little.

'C'mon Jakob, let's get home and get you some rest.' Jakob picked up his cards and three little cars and crossed to Beth, looking up at her with smiling eyes as she adjusted the mask over his face.

'Bye.' Came the muffled voice under the mask as he waved to Elizabeth, who waved back enthusiastically.

Beth gave her one last nod of appreciation before stepping out and holding Jakob's hand as he crossed to their own van.

Once inside she got his pencils and paper and set him up at the table while she boiled the kettle on the tiny camp stove that Daryl had brought back.

Jakob watched her carefully, his face refusing to express any of his thoughts, so much like Daryl often did.

Beth smiled, before finally asking the question. 'What are you thinking sweetie?'

He looked around for a moment before asking, the question that had played on his mind for the past few days. 'If I die, will I see Hope again?'

Beth looked over to him a little hurt at the question, surprised by it, but somehow expectant that he would think about it sometime. 'You're not going to die Jakob.' She answered flatly.

He looked back to his paper. 'But if I did?'

Beth finished pouring their teas and placed his by his picture. 'You won't, not for a very long time.'

'Where do we go when we die? Like do we just stop? Or do you think she is somewhere? Like is she in heaven... do you think she's with my mommy... or your dad?' Jakob asked.

Beth shrugged her shoulders a little before answering. 'Maybe they're all together.'

Jakob chewed on his cheek for a moment as if he was considering that. 'Did your dad eat anyone...you know after he died?'

Beth frowned again, his thoughts were always so deep. 'No, I don't think so.' She didn't look at him, she just looked at the sweet little dandelion flower that sat on the table.

'Neither did my old mom... maybe that means they still get to go to heaven?, you only go if you do good things.' Jakob pondered aloud.

'Maybe they are there, watching down on us, missing us as much as we miss them.' Beth smiled at the thought of all her family standing around just waiting for her and Maggie to join them. But the truth was she didn't believe it anymore than she believed in a cure for this world, but just as they were going to Washington because they had to believe in the cure, so it was still nice to imagine, she had to imagine some sort of heaven.

Beth looked back up to Jakob's picture, trying to distract herself from the dark places those thoughts would lead her. 'What's that?' She asked.

'It's a photo... like ours.' He looked over to the two photos that graced the bench, taken with Glens Polaroid camera. Daryl had retrieved from the prison. One was a group shot that included Elizabeth and Dale, along With JAKOB, Slayer, Daryl and herself, Janet had taken it, and it now saddened Beth that she wasn't in it also. The other one was of Jakob on his own, he had taken it Selfie style, early in bed when he had found the camera, Daryl had explained what to do and Jakob had listened attentively before taking his first photo, the frames of Beth and Daryl's faces could be seen at the edges, but not obvious.

'What's yours of?' she questioned, as her fingers reached for the dandelion that was left on the table for her.

Jakob happily explained. 'That's grandpa Hershel in heaven holding Hope and my first momma watching them.'

Beth's heart skipped a beat at the words _Grandpa Hershel_, her father would have so liked to hear those words, she hadn't asked him to say it, he just did, and that made it more special, it felt as special as the first time she had heard him say mommy. She reached across and squeezed the boys hand. 'That's really nice Jakob.' She encouraged. 'When you're done we can put it up with the other photos ok.' Beth knew she would cherish that picture probably even more than her list.

He nodded enthusiastically and continued drawing, his little face still and precise, reminding Beth so much of Daryl. So often silent and yet with only a few words, able to make her happier than she felt she could ever deserve to be, just like Daryl.

**A/N Another slower one, but I hope you enjoyed anyway, please don't forget to review. :D**

**Also thankyou to TWD withdrawl for your positive feedback on the missing dog/daryl meltdown chapter, i was nervous because even though he reverted to his old self, i didnt know if it was too much of a change or if i could do the abusive lingo any justice lol, but im soldering ahead anyway. :) im glad you love your baily, i love my pups too!**


	43. They call me walker bait or sumfin!

**A/N another chapter, short and sweet, but I think it's important to show the bond between Jakob, and Daryl and Beth. :D Enjoy.**

The afternoon sun was warm and welcoming, its golden glow was basking them in pure peacefulness, and yet it had nothing on how wonderful Beth's hands felt resting on his shoulders, she wasn't even doing anything, just lazily standing behind him, wrists rested on his shoulders as she leaned down. It felt strange really, not that he was allowing someone so close to him, but that someone wanted to be close to him, wanted to do nice things for him, no one cared before now. No one cared what you looked like in this world, hell no one cared what he looked like before, he didn't... still didn't but she cared.

'You couldn't find a single pair of scissors?' she questioned sceptically.

'U-uh.'

'Did you even look?'

'Beth it's that or shaved, s'up ta you I dun' care.' Daryl answered, and although his words sounded antagonistic, Beth knew they weren't.

She sighed again. 'It's going to be a mess!'

'Then leave it.' Daryl Suggested.

She chewed at her lip before looking to Jakob. 'Can't get much worse can it?' She asked hoping for a little encouragement.

Jakob simply giggled. 'It's gonna look so funny!' His wide eyes beaming, fully expressing the smile that his Fumes mask hid.

Daryl's head snapped to Jakob disapprovingly. 'Don' you laugh you're next, she's gonna get you... and your little dog too!' He tried on his creepiest voice and it seemed to silence Jake. He looked forward, over the suspiciously empty oval again. 'We gonna do this thing?' He asked, and he did feel nervous, because although cutting hair wasn't anything really, it somehow felt like her grooming him was something.

Beth took in another deep breath before tugging at his shirt collar. 'You should tak...' she stopped, itchy hairs be damned, Daryl wouldn't care for taking his shirt off, he'd just scare the stray hairs away with his ever grumpy presence or something, she took a piece of hair in her finger, only to lose it as he leaned forward.

She watched as he pulled it over his back and balled it up onto his lap. He didn't know why he did it, she wasn't pushing it, but something made him want to, because he was still trying to prove that he was happily being open with her, proving it to himself at least, it still felt uncomfortable, but he was determined to share everything with her.

Her eyes drifted down and she was a little surprised to see her hand had beaten her eyes to examining the scars, this was the first time she had seen them so close, and now the chill of evening was setting in, they seemed brighter and angrier than last time she had seen them. She realized Daryl had been holding his breath from the moment her hand rested on his back, but he hadn't pulled away, the muscles under his skin flinched violently though. She dragged her hand up to the base of his neck and felt him let out his breath as she sliced the first strands of hair of his head.

Beth took of several more cuts of hair before she looked over to Jakob, who seemed to be studying Daryl's back. She took a little step sideways so he could see better, understanding his curiosity as she continued cutting, giving him a tight lipped smile as he curiously looked. She caught how Jakob glanced to her for a moment before returning his eyes.

'Did you have a car accident?' Jakob asked suddenly.

Beth felt Daryl flinch a little, he had looked around the camp and no one was out, he was comfortable in front of Beth, well as much as he could be about it, but he hadn't expected questions. Beth was attempting to think of a answer, for Daryl, seeing as he seemed to ignore the question, but nothing came.

Daryl finally sniffed before glancing at Jakob, which earned him a soft slap to the head, he looked forward again 'Three, Rick was drivin' two out of those three times, dun' ever trust the man in a car, dunno how that guy was a cop, breaks every road rule in tha book.' He offered.

Jakob swallowed and continued his examination. 'Must've got pretty cut up huh? What did you hit?' Jakob questioned, but he didn't get an answer. He looked to Beth who gave him a slight shrug as she kept cutting away at the hair, trying to make it somewhat even. 'My uncle used to have a big scar on his face, and he didn't have a leg, and I think his arm looked like that... he hit a truck, I don't remember his name, but I remember he had no leg, and he had a pet bird... I thought he was a pirate.' Jakob explained before asking again. 'What'd you hit?'

'Ain't hit nothing, Ricks just that bad, hit two walkers once and the other time, he just ran off the road into a tree.' Daryl answered.

'Must've been a big tree.' Jakob commented.

'More of u bush, they weren't that bad.' Daryl replied.

'What was the other crash?'

'Huh?'

'You said there were three.' Jakob reminded him.

Daryl nodded slightly, regretting the action when he felt the bump of the blade on his scalp, it didn't cut, but it hurt. 'Just cruzin' with Merle, one night, we were pissed and he drove straight into a deer, wrecked the car, but we walked out of it, not a scratch on us.' Daryl answered.

'Oh.' Jakob didn't have anything to add to that.

Beth stepped in front of Daryl, her knees bumping his thigh as she stepped in-between his legs, the back half of his head sort of done, she would have to tidy it up some, but it was ok. She glanced back to Jakob who was considering Daryl's words, he looked up. 'I thought you must've been hurt real bad... I never had a car ride.' Jakob looked back to the floor and readjusted his fumes mask.

Beth smiled slightly, Jakob was so persuasive and gentle about the way he asked things sometimes, that made her frown, because he really was entirely too smart for his age. She looked down and caught Daryl's eye, he looked away, as if he was ashamed again, it was disappointing, but Beth didn't call him on it, she just kept working on his hair.

'They ain't from no car accident.' Daryl finally offered.

Jakob didn't answer, instead he tipped his head sideways. Beth watched him as he lifted one arm up a bit, and then tried hunching over. He looked back to Daryl's head with some sort of confusion, he bit his lip.

Daryl had noticed Beth had become distracted, her fingers weren't moving as efficiently, and as he glanced up at her he saw she was watching Jakob, and he looked in the boys direction, catching the uncertain look. He took in a deep breath. 'Just say it.' Daryl prompted, because really he knew Jakob well enough to know when he wasn't talking now, the boy who was so often silent, was so loud in his thinking...like Beth.

Jakob's brow furrowed again before he spoke. 'You always say not to lie down... ya gotta fight?' The way Jakobs little voice dropped slightly sounded like he just realized he'd been lied to.

Daryl nodded before turning back to Beth, she was looking as confused as Jakob, so he bumped her leg with his and motioned her to continue. She smiled quickly before complying.

Jakob took a deep breath. 'So why didn't you?'

Daryl sighed, and he almost sounded annoyed only he wasn't. 'Who said I didn?'

Jakob crossed to him, rolling up his little sleeve, he pointed out two of his own little scars. 'You don't have them on your arms...' Jakob rolled up his other sleeve and showed another, barley there scar, and confirming what Daryl had always thought. 'I used to have them all on my arms, coz I wouldn't let him hit me.'

Daryl returned his gaze forward, which was basically to Beth's stomach, he could have got distracted at that, but he didn't. 'Sometimes, ya can't.'

Jakob sat back down and readjusted his breathing mask a little. 'You said always... so why not?'

Daryl shrugged. 'So they don't move on to someone else smaller... ya always protect what ya can.' Daryl's voice dropped. 'Even what ya can't...ya gotta try.' He threw the child another piece of advice.

'That's why you saved me huh?' Jakob answered. 'Kyle said that he saw some walker bait get eaten before here, he reckoned his dad said they couldn't help him... you can't help walker bait... but you helped me.'

Daryl's brow furrowed, he knew Kyle, he was a couple years older than Jakob his uncle died in the recent attack, he was a nice bloke, Daryl didn't care much for Kyle's father though. 'What the hell's walker bait?' Daryl asked in astonishment, because really he had a fair idea.

Jakob shrugged. 'Kids like me...like I used to be, no family... they slow you down, so you throw them to walkers.'

Daryl whipped his head to Jakob in disgust, he didn't quiet guess that. 'Who the hell told you that?'

Jakob shrugged and itched at his mask again. 'The kids call me walker bait all the time... but I know I'm not.'

'Damn right ya ain't.' Daryl agreed as Beth moved back to finish the last quarter of his hair.

Jakob looked up to him again, considering his face, it looked different without all the hair in his eyes, he took a deep breath deciding to ask his question. 'Your dad do it?' he scrunched his eyes as he pointed to his own scars.

Daryl shrugged.

'Jonathon says his dad only did it once, but Bill threw Kyle's dad out the camp for a week because he did it to Kyle... I told them my dad never hit me...' Jakob answered. 'They said you ain't my dad... and they don't believe me, they're all scared of you, they say I'm lying... or I just have to wait long enough.' Jakob explained as his head dropped to the ground.

Daryl felt Beth run her fingers through his hair, He flinched when she rubbed of all the stray hairs on his shoulders and back, but when her hand gave his shoulder a light squeeze he didn't mind, he figured she was done. He stuffed his shirt back on and leaned forward to Jakob pulling his chin up in the way that always got his attention when Beth did it to him. The mask hindered it a little, but regardless Jakob looked at him. 'I am, 'k, ya got me, 'n that means somethin' more than what they got, coz I chose ya... could'a walked away, Beth too, but we didn't and we ain't gonna... and I ain't ever gonna hit ya...ever, even if I get real mad, won't ever do that.' Daryl confirmed.

He saw Jakob's eyes smiling and the boy nodded. 'I know.' he answered confidently, his voice holding no doubt.

Daryl stood. 'Ain't no walker bait either Jake, ya never was.' He commented as he ruffled his hands through his own hair, and looked back to Beth. 'Look all pretty?' he questioned.

Beth nodded enthusiastically. 'It's a bit messy, but yeah... you look like when I first met you, a bit, makes ya look younger too.'

Jakob looked Daryl up and down. 'You look different to me...' He commented.

Daryl squinted at the boy before picking him up and flopping him on the chair pulling his shirt of all in one motion. 'Your turn.' As he smiled devilishly at the boy.

Jakob smiled and relaxed back into the chair.

Beth kissed his head before beginning. Jakob's hair didn't take half as long, he had a whole heap less hair than Daryl, but he looked equally adorable when he was done.

All in all her hair cutting abilities weren't terrible, she commented that both their hair looked blonder now shorter, and Daryl had threatened to cut her hair and see what colour blond hair turned, but Beth disputed that, as she took the knife to Slayer and cleaned up some of the longer and prickle entangled fur that hung from his body.

Beth busied herself for the rest of the evening with tidying their little van while Daryl and Jake went to make plans for the next run. She wondered idly what they were going to be doing after... Daryl had told her he wanted them both to join him on a run, but it was no use wondering with Daryl, he was surprising at the best of times, so Beth just continued her work, and wondered how it had happened that the man that looked so much like the foul mouthed redneck she had first met had come to mean so much to her.

**A/N Please review. There's some very exciting chapters coming up that take place during and after their little run, so you know the drill, reviews encourage me to post a little earlier.**


	44. Just like a road map or somethin'

**A/N To the guest, that asked about Daryl's sister, no there is never one mentioned in the series, only Merle, and his parents, I've added the fact that he has a sister as part of this fic, (in this fic, merle never mentioned her because she died before the turn, and as the fic goes on we will find out why Daryl never mentioned her before) but no according to cannon, its presumed merle is his only sibling. :D sorry if that was confusing.**

Beth carried her bag of laundry back, shaking her head internally, that stupid Judy had been talking about Daryl again, who the hell did she think she was trying to give Beth advice on how to handle her argument with Daryl? Beth had told her as much, but Anna in her classic honest way had pointed out that Beth had yelled it loud enough that the camp couldn't help but hear, and henceforth making it everyone's business, still it was a few days ago, and it was just annoying that Judy thought she had any right at all to interfere.

At least Elizabeth had shot the woman down, but still... the woman was just infuriating. Beth took a deep breath before opening the van door, determined not to be bothered by the woman. She was surprised to see her boys laying lazily on the bed, what they were doing was mildly stranger. Not shocking if they were normal people, but these weren't _people_, it was Daryl.

'Hey' came Daryl's quiet greeting, and Beth sent him a brief smile before grabbing the pegs and stepping back out to hang the wet clothes.

She smiled brighter when she returned and crossed to the bed. 'Thought you guys were meant to be training the kids?'

Daryl shrugged which sent one of the toy cars that was resting on his back sliding off. Jakob looked up and grabbed it as it landed by Daryl's ribs, he shifted on his seat, which was the groove between Daryl's back and bum and caused Daryl to wince.

Beth frowned, her eyes grazing over Daryl's bare back, to Jakob's hands which were pushing the cars around. 'What are you doing?'

Jakob answered first with a bright smile. 'Playing cars.'

Daryl huffed slightly and looked up at Beth .'My back was sore.' He explained.

He had mentioned it more and more lately, obviously it was starting to bother him, and Beth knew he viewed it as a weakness; not the scars but the pain, still he was willing to not only bare it but offer it to both her and Jakob.

Beth looked back to Jakob who ran two cars along to scars and then collided them as the scars met, with a messy bang and made a little noise that she supposed was one blowing up. She smiled at the makeshift roads that the scars made before looking back to Daryl.

She saw that he had tensed slightly, and she almost felt jealous that he was happy to be so open with Jakob, and although he hadn't moved she saw the slight shift in him when she had sat down. Sure he had opened up to her and let her see them, but he always looked uncomfortable, it hadn't bothered her until now, when she saw what he was like with Jakob. But then she realized it didn't matter because she knew there was something different, something... more in the way she loved Jakob too.

She glanced up at Jakob's face, and smiled, her heart flipping a little as she thought about how much she had come to love the boy. She felt the mattress shift and Daryl's hand reach out to rest on her thigh, and the tight lipped smile he gave her seemed to say so much, she couldn't help but return a smile of her own. She reached out and scratched her fingers across his shoulders gently. 'Feel good huh?'

Daryl didn't answer, his head was still buried in his arms, but he let out a small groan ad squeezed her leg a little. She traced his four and a half digits with her own fingertips and she fought the smile as he abandoned his grip on her leg for her hand instead.

'Been sore a bit latley?' She questioned, and she wondered whether there was something she could do to help that.

'Just getting old is all.' He answered simply, and she rolled her eyes in response before ruffling his hair and standing again, glancing back and noticing how Slayers ears pricked at the sound of her reaching for a packet of biscuits. She stuffed a few into her mouth before Daryl's voice sounded again. 'Thinkin' 'bout doin' one more run tomorrow and leavin'... Dale reckons they'll come.'

Beth nodded, but didn't answer.

Daryl scrunched his brow, Beth didn't seem all too keen to go, she had until the last day or so, but now she seemed reserved about it. 'Ya still wanna go?'

Beth shrugged slightly, and Daryl realized he had never really asked if she wanted to, it was just a presumption. Sure she wanted to see her sister, of course she wanted to go... but through all the winter she hadn't asked once. 'What about leading this group Daryl?' She caught the confusion on his face and decided just to be honest. 'I don't know.'

'They're not our family... And what do you mean you don't know?' Daryl sat up a little and waved Jakob off his back before standing. 'You dun' wanna?'

Beth looked back down to the small bag of biscuits. 'Just...things will change, I know we both want to believe they wont...but I know you.'

Daryl leant against the cupboard a little as he considered what she said. 'We'll just have to tell 'em Beth.'

She looked at him and let her mouth twitch as she considered that. 'I know... but will you? You know what Maggies like, and she won't be all too shy about expressing her feelings.'

Daryl looked to the floor, because he already felt every reason that Maggie would throw at him for why this was wrong, and somehow he'd managed to push it all away. But then again, hearing her say it would probably be enough to make him believe it all over again. 'Then you'll just have to remind me huh?... 'bout your feelin's, that matters more.'

Beth nodded slightly, but that was only the smaller part that had her hesitant from seeing her family again. 'It's not just that... I'm mad at her.'

''Bout what?'

Beth stuffed another biscuit into her mouth before chewing it and swallowing it. 'When was the last time you saw Merle?'

Daryl flinched at that, before clearing his throat and shrugging. 'When I put him down, that was the last time...it was sick, just...' Daryl's face was a little darker, and it was more than the overcast weather, his fist knocked on the cupboard in some sick re-enactment of his knife thrashing into Merles face over and over.

Beth shook her head. 'I didn't know it was you.' She considered reaching out and stilling him, but sometimes with Daryl it was best to ignore it. She had just presumed it was Michonne who did it, neither of them said much about it at the time, and she hadn't meant that anyway, she meant when he was alive, but it seemed like a pointless question, because she could tell by the look on Daryl's face that was the last thing he would remember of his brother. 'Last time I saw Maggie, I was next to her... we just saw daddy...' She paused and turned to Daryl a little 'I understand she had to find Glen, and after we all ran, I got it, I knew why she went with him, if were honest about it, it was the same reason you and I didn't leave until we found each other...'

Daryl's eyes snapped up to hers because he knew how much he cared for her back then, but he was a little surprised that she did too.

'But when we got out, all I could think about was finding her and making sure she was ok, I mean we had to survive, we couldn't just go running around screaming her name, but it was what I thought of first... And then after I was kidnapped, I got it when I saw those signs saying _Glen go to terminus_, I know why she was looking for him and not me, because I could have followed them to terminus... but I didn't because I had to find you, I got that... but then I don't because if I could have done both I would have, why couldn't she write Glen, Beth... she could put Sasha and Bobs name on them too... But not mine... I had to know she was ok, but she didn't do that for me... like maybe it's not the same now.'

Daryl swallowed, because he understood completely, because when he saw those damn signs he thought it too, hell he even said it to Maggie, but when he had he saw the hurt in her face, she broke down and cried and regretted it so deeply, and he understood exactly what it was like to only be able to think of one person. 'Ain't like that Beth... you din' see her... I couldn't tell her, I told Rick...that I lost ya, I know she loves ya... when I said I was comin' back for ya, she wanted to come, but I said she'd slow me down, she did need ya Beth, she's just too scared ta think.'

Beth looked up with a tight lipped smile. 'What about Judith? I can't go back and see Rick without her... not now we've got Jake, I couldn't see that in him... why haven't we been looking for her? And I just go along with whatever you say, well I want to be out there looking for her, I can't go to Washington, not knowing she could be alive, I hate you for that, for not searching for her every day, like you did for Sofia...for the Governor, you haven't even looked for her! I can't go until I know we have.'

Daryl bit back the urge to scold her for her harsh words, to tell her that he had scoured the countryside for any sign of the little girl, and that the only chance he had was taken away when he saw Beth's own footprints leading in the opposite direction. He wanted to tell her that he was always looking for signs, on every run, every hunt, always hoping. He wanted to explain again how he couldn't track in winter, the rain washed everything away so quickly, but none of that mattered, because he understood, despite Beth's words, she didn't hate him for Judith any more than he hated her for Hope.

It was just one of those empty feelings that neither of them could shake. So he nodded because he had thought about that more than once too. He took a deep breath before deciding. 'So we stay...we find Judith and then we go.' he suggested.

Beth nodded slightly, happy at the decision, and yet somewhere knowing in the pit of her stomach that for all Daryl's talk of Washington, he never planned on leaving without Judith. Daryl didn't say anything else, he just threw a shirt on and stepped past her out the van. She vuagley looked to Jakob who smiled back before she followed Daryl out.

He lit up a cigarette, taking in a few deep drags on it before Beth stepped out, he was slumped in the camp chair and Beth perched herself on his knee. He smiled at her, the hand not holding the cigarette resting on her lower back, she looked to the cigarette with a smile.

'Can I?'

Daryl frowned. 'Gives ya cancer.' He admonished.

Beth rolled her eyes. 'Just once?'

He shrugged, and she took that as permission and pulled his hand up to her mouth, letting out a slight chuckle at the way his hand held onto the cigarette with the missing finger, she wrapped her lips around it and drew in a deep breath, which had her spluttering and coughing.

Daryl pat her back softly and laughed as he reached for the paper and pen in her pocket that was ever present. 'Here.' He passed her the cigarette as she took it, fumbling and holding it awkwardly, she coughed again.

He unfolded the paper and clicked the pen down using her arm as backing, before drawing a messy line across it and handing it back to her as she let out a tiny cough again. 'There seven smoke a cigarette.' He grinned. 'Ya badass.'

'Can I?' came the little voice, from inside the van.

It wasn't the first time he'd asked and it wouldn't be the last, Daryl had explained to the boy about his asthma but he always asked anyway. 'Get your ass inside Jake!' came the gruff answer, but Jakob knew that was Daryl just being concerned and he turned and went back to his cars.

Beth cleared her throat again, which made Daryl laugh as he took in another drag, he blew it away from her before leaning up and kissing her, normally he wouldn't do that out here in the public eye, not like this, maybe a peck because he knew how important it seemed to be to her that he let her lay her claim in front of the other woman, but this was different, only on such a gloomy day, no one was around to see anyway.

She pulled away slightly, but he pulled her cheek into his mouth, the cigarette in that hand sending a stream of smoke wafting through the air, he didn't care if she was squirming, he cared that he needed her, he needed to confirm despite her words that she didn't hate him. He forced her mouth open and smiled against her when her tongue reluctantly yielded to his. He growled slightly at the victory before pulling back.

Beth smiled, and he knew she didn't mind him being rough, maybe he would've been a little embarrassed, maybe he would have felt ashamed before, because Beth was too precious to be like that with. But apparently she could be dark enough to hate, regardless of how she meant it, so maybe she was just dark enough to accept this without being afraid, maybe she could appease the animal in him, that liked her squirming a little too much, maybe she even liked it, maybe that was even a fact he thought as she shot him a devilish grin. 'You taste Grose.' She admonished slapping his arm.

'S'at ok?' And he only asked because although he was sure, he just had to hear her confirm it, because really fooling around was one thing, but he'd never make her do something she didn't want to.

She nodded and watched as he shrugged before taking another drag, eyes glinting as he exhaled and pulled her down for another much deeper kiss, she did it again, pulled away from him, only she wasn't really because he felt the way her fingers gripped at his shirt, he scraped his tongue against hers and felt her gag a little at the taste, and she really was pulling back now, he only held her for a moment longer, just because he didn't want it to end with the same harshness that he had begun it with, Beth coughed slightly again and frowned at the smile he gave her.

'Tell me ya hate me...' He scolded her with a cocky smirk, and his fingers dug into her hip a fraction. Beth rolled her eyes and allowed him to pull her head to his shoulder where he obviously demanded she rest. She settled in happily. 'Gotta have a whinge bout everythin' huh?' He smirked.

Beth attempted to hit him but missed, before her eyes caught the heavy frown from the man who suddenly appeared walking past quickly, her smile dropped from her face and she looked to Daryl who sat up a little and pulled the arm that was snaked around her back away from her. 'What's that about?' She asked, as far as she knew neither of them had a problem with the man.

Daryl pressed his lips together, before standing, forcing Beth up along with him 'Nothin.' he answered as he took his final puff and squashed the cigarette into the ground. 'C'mon' he motioned her to step in the van and she obeyed without question, and she didn't miss the slight warning to his voice.

**A/N So next chapter is pretty good, there is a good make out sesh and one of them at least manages to get a little relief :D lots and lots of reviews make me happy. If I get say 15 reviews by morning I'll upload again. :D just so you know. Hope you enjoyed this chappy.**


	45. Sumfin' in the car

**A/N Ok here's a little teaser of things to come. :D also rated M not to trick anyone, just to warn anyone who doesn't like these sort of smutty scenes.**

**To TWD WITHDRAWL I'm glad you've decided to persevere ;) it will all happen eventually, but you know it's no fun if you don't sweat it out with them.**

**And to BETHYLNUTS. I'm glad you're not going blind! I do so hope your tumour is operable though. And I know what you mean about your cats! I really hope your health improves. Thank you for all your compliments too.**

**Also at the end I have a long author notes while I tell the story of what happened to me today, but you can skip to the italics if you're not interested.**

It was a cold night, in some ways spring could; on occasion be colder than winter. It wasn't quiet spring yet, but it was close. His finger idly worried at the hole in his jeans, the white skin of his leg poking through, that was cold, sure his arms were cold, but... he took another deep breath with the cigarette pressed at his lips as he looked at the mint on the dashboard.

That's the whole reason he was out here, freezing his ass off in the car... Jake, poor kid and his asthma, the spring would only make it worse with the yellow pine pollen covering everything, and Daryl wondered how they were going to get him through it. He couldn't smoke in the van, for more reason than just Beth said it stunk the place out. It was Jake, some things really set him off, cigarette smoke did, and now Daryl thought back it always had, there were signs, a few times out hunting when he thought the boy had winded himself, they were probably smaller attacks, the fits he had when Daryl was tickling him, it took him too long to calm, they too were attacks, and there was nothing Daryl could do.

He'd scoured every hospital, every house in the damn town looking for something, the only thing he found was those stupid fumes masks at the hardware, well Michael had found them. It was getting worse and Daryl wondered why. 'Spring, probably fucking spring.' He muttered to himself, he'd never had a dislike for any particular season before.

He should probably just give up smoking, every time he wanted one he had to change his clothes before he came back in, he looked down to the packet, there was one more left, yeah, why not just finish this one and give up... for Jake, the damn things were getting harder to come across anyway.

He threw the old one through the crack in the window and lit the new one. They didn't taste that good anyway, in fact Beth was right, the tasted old and dirty...like him, maybe that's why he liked them, he eyed the mint again. Beth had given him a ultimatum that if he was going to smoke and then come in and kiss her he had to eat the damn mint, it tasted worse than the fag and combined it kinda resembled spew, but she preferred it, so he'd eat it when he was done, because really he didn't want to be denied kissing her.

Although, maybe he could just pin her down and kiss her anyway, like he did the other day. She felt so tiny and weak in his arms, sitting on his lap squirming, pretending that she hated it. She was so cute when she was like that all fighting but not really, it reminded him of right back at the beginning of winter when he fought her over that stupid BigCat. Yeah that was the day he should've stopped all this, that was probably the point of no return. Before that he could have just kept pretending they were only friends, now it was hard to keep himself from storming in the van and throwing her on the bed and taking her... like she kept pretty much begging him too.

He felt himself hardening at that thought, and he cursed under his breath because Merle had been right, right back at the prison he knew what Daryl didn't, or maybe he did, he just refused to acknowledge it. Yeah Merle was always right_. Fucking prick. _ Daryl thought as he remembered Merles words. _That's a fine piece of ass huh? Bet she doesn't know she's just jail bait to boys like us, huh little brother_. Daryl had scowled and said something about chopping his dick of and feeding it to the walkers if he even looked at her again. Merle had smiled and laughed at him. _She's got you pussy whipped huh? And you think you're better than me... getting all pissed that I don't check id's, and look at you. Why don't you just go and get it little brother, bet she'll be real sweet! Youngin' like that won't know what hit her... bet she won't even put up much of a fight, You don't I will, hell if ya do I will. _That's what made Daryl punch him, fair square in the face, and Merle had reeled back in shock because Daryl had never hit him before, and hell they'd never really had a fight over some trashy bitch before... except that real young one. Still even then Daryl only gave some bullshit answer about not wanting his brother to land back in jail, before he took the girl and drove her back to town, dumping her by the pay phone and flicking her a few dollars to make a call. It wasn't anything like this really. But then Beth wasn't the average trashy bitch. Merle had looked shocked enough but stood again, righting himself with a smirk that reminded Daryl too much of their father. _'K I won't touch her, won't stop me from lookin' none, but I won't touch her, Din' know ya already thought she's yours, better act quick tho little brother, you don' take a shot when ya got it, that little doe gonna run away on ya. Next man in line gonna make a meal u' her, ain't gonna listen to ya like I do_. Merle advised.

For all his trying to be different, Merle was right, Daryl was just like him, only nowadays he didn't seem to care too much because Beth seemed to like him, so did Jakob. If he could be the man they thought he was, he was ok.

Jakob was a great kid, there was something about him, some understanding, Daryl had known it from that first moment he picked him up, or maybe before that probably from the moment the boy came at him with his little knife, cutting his hand, leaving a wound that had left only the smallest hint of a scar, but left a way in for the kid.

He looked down to the thin line on his thumb, he never thought he'd have a scar that made him feel so warm and full. It was just the faintest of lines, but years from now when his own children played with him, and asked him methodically where he got each and every scar from he would answer this one with. _The day I first held your big brother_. He'd never hide his past from his own kids, just like he wouldn't hide it from Jake, but when they asked he'd feel that twinge of pain, but not for this one... this one he wouldn't be sad to say, he'd be proud of this one.

He ran his index finger over it as he lifted the cigarette to his mouth, he jumped a little when the door opened and the cigarette dropped to his lap, he tried to pick it up, but every now and then his stupid missing finger felt foreign and his whole hand was rendered useless. 'Fuckin' hell!' he cursed as it burnt him lightly before he reached for it with his other hand.

He looked over to Beth with a deep scowl and she gave him an apologetic look, he took the final puff on the cigarette and ditched it through the window before looking back at her.

'Ya been nearly an hour... what are you thinking about?' She asked.

He eyed her cautiously, wondering whether he could talk, some days it felt like he couldn't, most days he could push that away and ignore it. Because there were two sides to him, the one that really wanted to run for the hills, because really that was the right thing to do, and the one that wanted to do whatever she told him to, answer all her questions, kiss her when she wanted him too... god she looked like a fucking angel sitting there looking up at the moon through the windscreen, she spared him a look, one that was accompanied by a little huff and a smile.

His pants tightened again, and he groaned uncomfortably. He'd tell her what he was thinking, if only to distract himself. 'Just about Jake.' he answered. And she nodded like she understood, he continued. 'Just 'bout how much I care about him...' He wanted to say _love_, but care seemed to work ok too. 'Thinkin' how he changed my mind.' He looked out the window as it seemed to be so damn fascinating to her.

She smiled softly. 'He's all snuggled up with Slayer... He's so sweet when he's sleeping, often he's so angry, like you, I know he tries to hide it, but...Well he's different when he sleeps.' She commented but then she thought about his words. 'About what?' she questioned.

Daryl shrugged with a sharp intake of breath. 'Remember ya asked me if I ever wanted kids... I said I ain't be no good at it... just thought, well Jake makes me think I'd be ok... you know one day?' he looked to her and realized his words, because really they hadn't meant to come out that way.

Beth was smirking at him, and noticed how uncomfortable he became at his own words, she tried to lighten it. 'Well Judy will be so happy to volunteer to mother your children.'

He glanced back at her, he wanted to laugh, but she looked too amazing, laughing might disturb the air and change something. 'Thought I had a volunteer?' And he really didn't mean to sound so serious about it, after all she tried to give him a way out, and for some dumb-ass reason he decided to make it all heavy again, he twisted his fingers around the base of the steering wheel and felt his gut flutter when her small voice spoke.

'Yeah, you do.' She answered and when he looked back to her she had such a deep blush, it buzzed in his chest and he couldn't help the smile that infected his face, he looked down, shifting uncomfortably, his damn pants were killing him. 'I want to wait a bit though...find our family.'

Daryl let out a tight breath. 'Oh I didn't mean now...or..I just... we have Jake for now you know, don't think it's a good idea, 'till after the cure at least. Not what I meant anyway...was just talkin'.'

Beth looked at him. 'You really think that Eugene has the answers?'

Daryl caught the disbelief in her voice and shrugged, but he couldn't help being honest. 'Nah it's bullshit...but nice you know... to believe.'

Beth took in a deep breath again, she understood because she felt the same. 'I want kids... even without a cure, it's not easy I know, but life is life, and I'd never regret it.' She laughed a little at the worried look on his face. 'Course Daryl, if we were going to have kids together...' he voice trailed off, and it caught his curiosity.

'What?' he questioned.

Beth shrugged before smirking at him. 'Well we'd actually have to do something more than just kissing...more than just sitting in a car...you know less talking and more doing?' she suggested wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Daryl eyed her seriously before shaking his head, amusement clear on his face. 'God Beth, Ya like a horny lil' teenager huh? Ain't never get off my back 'bout it.' He commented, a little frustrated at her constant badgering. It wasn't that she had actually asked allot, but she suggested it. He'll he hated refusing her too, it's just that... well he should, and besides that, the ideal situation hadn't presented itself yet. The last few mornings were particularly bad, he'd wake up hard, as all guys did, but she took it as a signal to press into him, and damn it if the little squeaks and the way she held her breath weren't the hottest thing he'd heard.

'I am.' she admitted, and she sounded a little too proud of that fact as she sat up a little straighter and looked to him expectantly.

She did sound happy, and hell if she was just admitting she was horny, that'd be a god damn gift in gold leaf wrapping, but she was also admitting she was just a little teenager and that stabbed at him. 'Don't be so cruel Beth...' He whispered, and he had to look out his window so he couldn't see her, because he was aching now and he'd do anything to just dive across and plummet into her, but he didn't want it to be like this... in a car on a dark night.

Her little voice whispering 'Sorry.' Because she understood now the gravity of his words, made him think again.

Screw it if she was still pretty much a kid, somehow she wasn't, she was more to him, and yeah he'd made up his mind, he was going t do this. But no not now... he had a plan and he was sticking to it, he wasn't going to ruin it because he couldn't keep it together now, he was going to try and make it at least a little more special.

He felt her fingers on his bare arm and he realized how cold he still was, he glanced back to her and wished he didn't because she was just smiling innocently and that was his favourite of all her smiles. She looked away but kept her hand rubbing small patterns into his arm. He watched her, she was calm and serene, her chest rising and falling with each breath, and the moon light just made her look...'Fuck me.' Daryl cursed as he rubbed those thoughts away from his mind.

Beth looked back to him. 'Yes please Mister Dixon.'

His eyes shot back to hers and was relieved at the humour he saw there, they both snorted. 'God, you're such a tease.'

Beth was still giggling, eyes shining. 'Yeah well, you don't do much Daryl, so I have to get my thrills somewhere.'

He shook his head, suddenly not in the mood to laugh, she didn't seem to notice though, she was still staring up at the moon, her breath hitching in half giggles, and he couldn't help himself, he reached across and ran his fingers from her shoulder to her elbow, receiving a questioning look.

Daryl blushed because for all the times she had asked he hadn't, never with words, and it seemed so childish but what the hell, because he could hear Merles voice in the back of his brain, telling him. _You're just like me little brother_. But he didn't care because Beth's voice was there louder telling him a hundred times in a hundred ways that she wanted him, and that made it ok. 'Wanna fool around u' bit?'

Beth looked a little stunned, but she nodded. Nothing happened she didn't move, Daryl wondered if it wasn't ok for him to ask, but the look on her face was expectant so he nodded his head. 'C'mere then.' And it took ten seconds of awkward legs knocking the gear stick and a small bip as her butt pressed the horn, before she made her way to sit comfortably on his lap, and there she was at him, hoping and trusting, and so wanting.

Beth glanced down at his erection, it was pushing into her and he wasn't trying to hold it back in the least. She knew her face looked a little concerned, but maybe she was nervous about it after all, she decided to ask anyway, because nervous or not she would say yes. 'Are you not foolin?' She dropped her weight a little more, and that made Daryl blush, she loved that she could do that, because she knew no one else could make his face turn that colour, not without hitting it or something, he didn't look away, he just kept looking at her, that made her grin before she leant into his ear. 'Coz I'm ok with that... if you're not.'

Daryl chuckled at that, because regardless of how awkward she was, she was unbelievably hot, he couldn't even manage to string a few basic words together, he reached behind her for that stupid mint knowing it would be game over if he kissed her with his cigarette mouth, but to his surprise she bumped his hand away and leaned up kissing him regardless. When she finally pulled back he smirked at her. 'Thought you didn't like the taste.'

She shrugged, because really could get used to it, and by now a fair bit of it had faded already and mostly she didn't want to wait for him to chew and swallow. 'Shut up and kiss me.' She demanded, and Daryl couldn't help but simply obey. He didn't work up to it like he usually did, he didn't have to, he pushed his tongue into her mouth, not careful exploring, not passionately wanting to be close, not teasing, hell it wasn't even kissing really, he was tongue-fucking plain and simple, and yeah it felt a little wrong, but it felt pretty damn good too.

He didn't know what possessed him to do that to her, but something about his dark thoughts earlier, and her eagerness made him want it, besides Beth seemed to be all kinds of happy with it, she was frantically rocking against him, mewling and groaning and possibly growling? Back at him.

He felt his shirt pop and pulled back with a hiss a little surprised because she didn't even try to go for the buttons. She let out a sharp breath that held the hint of a laugh. 'Don't you dare look surprised Daryl, not after _that_.' She admonished him and he realized that his grip on her ass was probably a little too tight. He let go a bit and slid his hands back to her back.

Beth groaned, annoyed that he just stopped again, she roughly found his hand and pushed it into her breast. 'Don't you stop now Daryl... ' And he really didn't want to, although he should, this was not how he should treat Beth, and the thoughts that flickered through his mind really weren't things he wanted to do to her, they were harsh and without feeling, and he knew she was more than some cheap bar fuck. Still the burning in his soul said he did, because right now he just wanted to let out the frustration and the anger and the heaviness he felt, and she was here.

And even though it was the darker part of him that he always tried to hide from her that was sitting in this car, for some reason it felt open and honest and he didn't want to hide any of him from her. 'Take whatever you need Daryl, I'm yours... don't care what you do with me, as long as it's something.' She whispered into his ear like it was some sort of holy confession, something in her voice was harsh and determined and had him all riled up. He didn't protest when she leaned back in to kiss him, and even though he tried to be a little more respectful about it this time, he didn't stop his hand that squeezed her perfect tit, and he didn't stop the groan he let out as he pulled her ass down onto him, and he was lost.

He didn't stop her fingers at his belt, he didn't stop any of it, he really should but he didn't, his mind was gone, and it was amazing, he was lost in it, happier that hell to do this, and that was pretty amazing, because he'd never done this with her, his mindless humping into her, his squeezing hard enough that he wondered if he was trying to leave bruises.

This was him, and although he wanted so desperately to be the gentleman he had so tried to be the previous times they'd done this, it was so fucking glorious that she wasn't shying away from this, from him, the real him, her fingers were slipping on the button of his jeans, and he was going to help until he felt his chair clunk down , rattling his head a little as he fell back so he was lying more than sitting.

He looked up at her leaning over him, her perfect tits pressed together by her arms that were bracing on his chest, he was a little disappointed that she seemed to forget about his button, but that quickly faded as he distracted himself, reaching up and squeezing the shit out of them, her arms collapsed as she moaned until her mouth met his again.

This time it was her kissing him in that same harsh animalistic way he had done to her before, maybe a little more tamed, but almost just as feral, and then she was gone, kissing her way down his neck to his chest. She looked up at him, keeping her eyes on his as she licked one long stripe from his navel back up to the top of his chest, he slammed her hips into his and almost came on the spot at the sight of surprise on her face. It didn't slow her down though, he couldn't do much more than let out a strangled choke as she actually nipped one of his nipples while her fingers scratched at his ribs.

The feeling was amazing, she was amazing, no one had done this, no one had had him shaking, and groaning, setting his nerves on fire, his muscles burning, like this. His breaths were so laboured and deep he wondered if he could actually breathe in enough air, and then she cut him off with another deep kiss, and as she pulled back she actually fucking sucked his tongue, and that was it... it was all over in a blur of blue dots pressed into the edge of his vision and amazing Beth moans, and he felt completely powerless to stop it, stop her, stop himself.

It took a minute for his brain to work before he realized what just happened, Beth continued as if she hadn't noticed a thing, she was still shamelessly kissing a path across his chest and humping at him, he looked down seeing the wet patch in his pants and groaned, unsure whether it was fucking hot that she could make him do that or just plain embarrassing. He pushed her back a little, and caught the concerned look in her eye, he couldn't help feeling apologetic about it.

'Beth I...' no that was it... breathing was still too hard and she was still too hot, his head dropped back and he only managed to breathe out one word. 'Fuck.'

Beth giggled a little before assaulting his neck, pulling back after a few decent kisses, she pulled his hand up to her breast and frowned as it seemed limp. 'Daryl?'

He forced his eyes open, and swallowed hard at her slightly disappointed face. 'Can't Beth... I'm spent.' Was all he managed and she sat up a little, she looked down his body. 'Because of that?' She questioned.

It took everything he had to not laugh at her sweet face. 'Yeah Beth, coz u that... I tried ta hold on.' It was a complete lie but he had to offer some sort of apology and it earned him a smile.

She bit her lip a little because honestly she hadn't realized what she'd done until just now. Sure she'd seen him arching and felt him moaning and shaking, but she thought he was just finally getting into it. She realized how stupid she was because honestly she just thought he could hold it forever... or just go again, or something. 'Was it good?' She asked, because really she expected a little more.

Daryl rolled his eyes at the unsure sound of her voice. 'Think it woulda happened if it wasn't?' He coughed lightly getting a little strength back, he leaned up and kissed her cheek softly, understanding her doubtfulness. 'Yeah Beth you're fuckin' good.' He let his lips trail across to her mouth where he placed a gentle kiss. 'Fucking amazing actually.' He corrected himself before flopping back down. He felt her hands slip lower to the line of his jeans and he tensed, because seriously she didn't expect more? 'It's game over Beth, ain't a young fella no more.' And the words were true because he felt utterly exhausted, maybe it was the long day, maybe it was all the lugging of wood around for that stupid watchtower that he'd finally finished today, maybe it was the run he'd done last night, or maybe it was just that she was god damn amazing and he just blew his load and left himself with nothing, but hell, whichever one it was... he was smashed.

She seemed to understand and gave him another smile 'Ok...but you know it's my turn next time... you don't get to say no now.' She warned him, and something about owing her that felt so good.

Daryl nodded as she cracked the door open and stepped out, the cold wind rushed in, and he'd forgotten how cold the night was before she came out. He wound the seat back up as she stood there watching him. 'Run me out some pants would ya?'

Just like that she was gone and by the time he managed to pull himself out of the car, shut the door and spend about three seconds clutching at his aching chest she was back again, a pair of jeans and a pair of underwear in hand, Daryl gave her a tight lipped smile as he took it and crossed to the other side of the car to swap clothes.

She giggled. 'What?'

Beth bounced on her feet, he could see the way her head was bopping over the car roof. 'Just thought you look real angry...I would've been scared of that look a little while ago, now it just makes me really...proud.'

'Well I'm embarrassed.' He admitted.

Beth giggled slightly. 'Nothin' to be embarrassed about Daryl.'

He looked back at her as he fiddled with his damn belt that had somehow been twisted away and was now locked, sure he was embarrassed, but he wasn't shy now. 'Just blew my load from dry humping, haven't done shit like that since I was like... Carls age.' He regretted saying that because he realized how incompetent it made him sound.

Beth didn't seem to see it that way though. 'I know... I must be pretty good huh!' Her voice dipped and he thought she sounded a little shy, but she continued anyway. 'I've been trying for a few days now... to make you do something.'

Daryl grumbled as he wiped himself clean with the old boxers before stepping into the new ones, and pulling his pants up. That made a hell of allot of sense. 'Yeah... Been driving me nuts... Proud u ya'self huh?' He questioned. Beth nodded as he crossed to her, old clothes in hand. He considered saying something to wipe that shit eating grin of her face, but he decided he liked it there. 'So ya should be.'

And with that he kissed her forehead and tugged her back to the RV where he planned on checking on Jakob, kissing his little head, because really that was the only thing that felt better than kissing Beth, obviously not the same, but on a whole different level better, and then he was going to wrap Beth in his arms, because screw Merle, he wanted her, and he wanted her to keep doing all this amazing shit that she was doing, and he wanted her to have his children and he didn't care what sort of person that made him, because ultimately it made him happy, which was more than he'd ever been before.

It wasn't until he finally laid his head on the pillow and pulled her into him that he finally said... 'You love me.' It was final, and he just wanted to hear it, because really he felt pretty trashy right now, sure it suited, he felt comfortable like that, but he had to hear her say it because she was more than some girl to fuck and ignore... or in this case, dry hump in a smoky car and not tell her how important she was to him.

Beth smiled. 'Yeah Daryl, I love you.' She answered squeezing the arm that he wrapped around her waist.

'Bachatcha girl.' He whispered as he squeezed her a little tighter, and Beth almost missed it, only she didn't.

She smiled, and it was the biggest one she owned, because she really didn't expect his tenderness, but she was so delighted to have it offered anyway. 'You're really something Daryl Dixon...'

**A/N Ok so Happy St Pattys day to everyone who's drunk of their ass out there! Yeah I know were not even in the right month...or the right half of the year! So here's the thing...**

**My big brother and I (with our 96% pure Irish blood) have a little tradition. Every Saint Patricks day, Daniel goes and hires a Irish themed movie, then we go out and party and rid ourselves of restraint, dressing up in green and doing the whole sex drugs and rock roll thing, (yeah not together, and generally not drugs, and usually folk ballads, not rock n roll, maybe folk rock... anyway), usually we end up finding each other and stammering home, Guinness in hand, belting out some fucked up version of Botany Bay... and watch our movie, the next morning we hang around nursing each other's headache, and watch it again, because generally we've passed out or forgotten it, and we laugh at the pathetic Irish accents of Hollywood, and then we spend the next day putting on our own accent, which had any unsuspecting friends that call in just wondering what the hell is going on.**

**Anyway, so earlier today, I don't hear someone knock on the door, I just hear someone belting out Botany Bay from my front lawn... yes I considered ignoring it, but my partner went out to investigate and dragged my brother in, who carried his six pack of Guinness and a dvd. Apparently, from what we gather, he got so pissed he was sure it was saint pattys and stopped by the movie store and rented out Boondock Saints! (for anyone who doesn't know this movie, it's a mafia crime movie staring Norman Reedus (Daryl) and some other guy, (who looks vaguely familiar, is a little cuter, or actually a fair bit classic pretty boy cuter, but significantly less just...whatever Norman is... just attractive) so anyway, he (Daniel, my bro) stumbles into blockbuster (movie shop) and asks for a list of movies with Irish accents. Molly who works there (and has a slightly embarrassing crush on the lad) offers him a few movies and apparently he chose this one because...**

'**Hey! Its got that fuckin' redneck...uh, you know... phew phew (shoots guns, before shaking his head and pulling an imaginary crossbow string) whizz, ya know... that dude... ( pretends to mawl my neck like a zombie, then collapses on couch and continues muttering) you know with the bow and the back and the deer...n that song you like...'**

'**Daryl' I offer.**

'**Thats the one, so let's one up Ned (high fives because we always do in honour of our hero ( yes were related) (referring to Ned Kelly, (Heath ledger) from last saint pattys day) and really get into our roots, that guys all schitz, bet he plays us psycho Irishmen well, hope he's not a complete gobshit about it'.**

**I reminded him that it's not saint pattys, but he explained that he's too drunk to care, 'And when you're drunk, you're Irish as shit, and saint patty's our patron saint, so while you're drunk, its saint patty's, and on saint pattys everones irish, which means everyone is drunk, so drink up little lady, less you're too thick to enjoy a good thing... spa' he goaded me.**

**It's a convoluted logic that made sense, so I sent Ben down to retrieve more drinks from the bottle-o and the three of us watched this movie and drank ourselves into oblivion... well the boys did, I'm still coherent... I think.**

**So anyway, despite Normans, ridiculously bad accent, which really almost made the movie stupid, (although the other guy did pretty well) it was a really good movie, like really good, for a gangland type movie. I loved it, although I've had seven Guinness now, so... no I think it was good. Also it had billy connely, who surprisingly didn't have a funny roll, but it was good to see the guy.**

_Anyway, when I get time, expect a few boondock fics, point of this story being, it has actually inspired a little beth/daryl oneshot, that I'd like to work on tomorrow instead of another chapter, so let me know if you're willing to forgo a chapter for a one shot, I'll even make it smutty if I get a go ahead from you guys. :D_

_Also please don't forget to review... _

**Now I have to go and try to pry my brothers drunk ass of my couch because I see him rolling a ciggy and need to kick his ass outside before he lights it... although this fumbling is pretty amusing and now Ben is trying to help him... god these dudes are clowns!**


	46. Somethin' un-fuckin'-beleivable

**A/N Hey guys, here's another smutty chapter, I am planning on doing that one shot but I was heaps busy today. Anyway, someone mentioned that Beth is now a little O/C now. Truth is I think they both are now, because enough time has passed, if you look at the characters that were one the show in season 1+2 to now (season 4) they would seem o/c from the original if you didn't see the in-between, so that's what I'm aiming for, yes different, but hopefully still believable.**

**Anyway please enjoy!. **

Beth looked a little confused as she watched Daryl climb in the passenger side of the car. She opened the door and motioned him to move.

He shook his head at her confusion, didn't she know? 'Number two Beth.' She frowned at his words. 'If we're sticking around for a bit, we may as well burn through that list...'

She looked to Jakob who sat in the backseat with Slayer draped across his lap and shifted. 'What if I crash?'

'Ya wont.' Daryl reassured her.

Beth swallowed before nodding and crossing to the driver's side, she stepped in and pulled the door shut behind her. She looked to Daryl who betrayed none of his thoughts.

'Move ya seat... get comfy.' He suggested and she obeyed, looking at him once she was ready. 'These are ya gears, it's a five speed right, so first, second, third, fourth... ya won't be needing fifth...and reverse.' He explained as he moved the gears. 'It's set out like a H.' Daryl confirmed and Beth nodded, she understood that. 'This here.' he put the car back to neutral and wobbled the stick. 'That's neutral.'

He leant forward and pointed to her feet. 'Accelerator, brake, clutch...A,B, C, break is for stopping, accelerator is for going, and ya clutch changes gears, ya push it in when ya change.' He pointed, hoping he was making it simple enough, because really it couldn't be any simpler, she sent him a coy look that was far too flirtatious for the current task as his forearm bumped on her knee. He thought about scolding her, telling her to pay attention, but that would defeat the whole purpose of the afternoon. No he liked it, so he dropped his hand back to her knee and let it trail up her leg, stopping mid thigh with a little squeeze before it left her. 'Now ta start, want ya ta turn the key.' He stated as calmly as if he hadn't done it.

Daryl waited but Beth didn't move, he nudged her arm and she jumped slightly. 'Oh now?'

He nodded as she turned the key. 'K foot on the break...' She pushed it in. 'And the clutch, all the way.' She obeyed as he covered her hand with his on the gear stick. 'First.' He pushed the gear stick up, Beth gripped the steering wheel with her other hand. 'Now foot of the brake, and on the accelerator, want ya ta ease of the clutch as ya push in the accelerator.'

Beth attempted to do that but the far went jolting forward and putted to a stop, she sent Daryl an embarrassed look, but he motioned for her to try again, and she did another three times before she got the car to creep forward.

'Wow!' Jakob commented excitably holding his stomach from the back seat.

'Ya like that huh?' Daryl asked, glancing at the boy in the rear view mirror.

Jakob nodded excitably, his eyes suddenly popping as the car jerked.

Daryl looked back to Beth as the engine strained in first. He explained how to switch gears, and before too long they were slowly travelling down the road, Beth's confidence growing every mile.

Daryl leaned back with a smile and closed his eyes for a moment; Jakob was eagerly climbing from one side of the car to the other looking out the windows. Beth glanced to Daryl. 'What are you doing!'

He cracked one eye open. 'Takin' a nap.' he smirked.

'I might crash!' She argued.

Daryl smiled. 'Can't be any worse than Rick.' He commented glancing back at Jakob who was kneeling on the seat watching trees rush by. 'Oi, put that belt back on! Less ya got a wish 'bout bein' a pirate.' He scolded Jakob, who nodded and sat back down, clicking his belt around him.

It was only a twenty minute drive to town and Daryl suggested parking on the outskirts, just in case the engine drew a hoard of walkers. The car lurched to a messy stop and Daryl wished he had put his own seatbelt on as he launched forward catching himself on the dash.

'Sorry.' Beth grimaced.

'Ain't nothing.' Daryl commented as he reached in her pocket, she angled her hips so he could reach better, but his brow furrowed as he found it empty. Beth smirked at him and raised her eyebrows slightly before reaching in her other pocket and retrieving the list which was no doubt what he was after.

He took it and searched the glove box for a pen, he found one and messily scribbled through number two before handing it back to her. Beth smiled and folded it, putting it back in her pocket. He eyed Jakob in the mirror again, and watched as the boy fixed his mask.

'Ya ready?' He asked. There was a slight hesitation in his voice because he knew towns were always more dangerous, but he'd picked through this one more than once, and it was so important that he could do this for them.

They both nodded and he gave them a firm nod back before stepping out of the car and loading his crossbow, just in case. Jakob was by his side tucking his shirt behind his knife as Beth slung her bow over her back and checked her knife.

'Stay close ok.' Daryl advised which really he didn't have to say it, but still...

Beth nodded and followed Daryl, making sure Jakob stayed in between them, so that they could all protect him. Daryl at the front, Slayer beside him and Beth at the back. They wondered purposely through town as Beth's curiosity finally spoke. 'Where are we going?' He still hadn't told her, the only thing she knew was, he told Dale that they should be back late and he'd swing by with Jake, which seemed a little strange because Beth wondered why Daryl had chosen to bring him at all, it probably would have been safer if he left him with Dale and Elizabeth, in saying that, she knew neither of them liked letting him out of their sight unless it was with each other or Slayer, still they could have left Slayer home too.

The large white wall spray painted with black paint caught Beth's eyes. _Judith._ It was big and bold but she read the large writing underneath. _Carol? Tyreece, Prison Crew..._ And then the smaller writing. _Terminus destroyed, we left, find us in Washington._ And then the much smaller writing, all bunched up and difficult to read. _Daryl, Beth, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Glen, Maggie, Sasha, Bob, Andrew, lilly, and amber_.

Beth smiled at that because Daryl hadn't mentioned that they had found the two small girls and the old man, it must have been sometime after Terminus, and she wondered if maybe Mika who she had a special spot in her heart for may have survived if those two girls did.

She continued following Daryl and noticed various other signs, most of them read something like, _Ricks prison...butcher wall, find us_. Some of the signs had boxes under them, most of them had bottles of water, some had a few nappies and powdered milk, not much but something if their crew happened by. The guilt stabbed at Beth a little, because she didn't realize that Daryl had been searching, he just didn't tell her. Yeah deep down, despite her mean words the other day, she knew he would've been looking, but the evidence was a surprise to her.

Suddenly Daryl had stopped and Beth stumbled slightly into Jakob, she steadied them both before Daryl motioned for them to wait. Beth nodded putting her hand on Jakob's shoulder as Daryl stepped inside the building. Beth looked up at the door and noticed it was an old picture theatre and she wondered what they could possibly be doing. Moments later she saw Daryl motioning them in and she pushed the large glass doors open and let Slayer walk through before she and Jakob shuffled in.

Daryl held his crossbow at ready, even though he'd cleared the place a week ago, you never knew who might wander in. He finally reached the little door, the sign on it read staff and the stick of candy he had left was propped against it still, he opened it, looking cautiously around just in case but seeing nothing had been moved he stepped in, his little family following.

He laid his crossbow on the bench and shut the door, watching as Beth eyed the room cautiously and Jakob eagerly flopped into one of the swivel chairs admiring the array of candy set up on the bench.

Daryl fiddled with some cords, attaching them to the two car batteries that sat below the bench and a moment later a bright white flickered through the window, Beth looked up and realized where they were. 'We're watching a movie?' She asked.

Daryl smirked. 'Number ten.'

'Eleven.' Beth corrected before looking to Jake with concern. 'A zombie movie?'

Daryl nodded and she looked back to Jake who was holding up one of the biggest candies, Daryl caught her look and sighed softly. 'He lives it Beth... dun' think it's gonna scare him much.' Daryl looked back to Jake. 'Bet ya never seen a TV neither.' He commented as Daryl slipped the old DVD in the player that had suddenly come to life.

Jakob shook his head because really he didn't remember much of anything before the turn and he didn't know what a TV was. For him this world was all there had ever been.

'Can I try it?' Jakob asked holding up the candy he had been fiddling with.

'Ya gotta share.' Daryl commented, smiling at the boy as he eagerly ripped the packet open and pulled at the stretchy red candy, breaking it into four pieces , handing Beth and Daryl one before dropping one to Slayer.

Daryl took his and held it between his teeth as he fiddled with some settings, making sure the volume was low and wouldn't attract walkers. He glanced to Beth who sat in a chair and fiddled with the DVD cover. 'The living dead.' She read aloud as she wrapped the candy around her finger, it was sugary and old, but still such a rare treat. 'Have you seen it before?' She asked Daryl.

'Yeah, ain't the best, bit slow, but only zombie one I could find... went to the video store, some bright spark split a walker open over the draw of DVD's that has the zombies... had ta raid nine houses ta find that.' He commented as he sat down beside Beth. Slayer nudged at his leg and Daryl looked down to the dog, biting his candy in half and giving it to the dog, who took it greedily and went back to sit by Jakob's feet.

He glanced at the boy who was staring wide eyed at the theatre screen, as if the titles were the greatest thing he'd ever seen. Daryl rolled his chair a little closer to Beth and smiled to himself, she wasn't concentrating on him, she was watching Jakob, but he was happy watching her, she looked so at peace, so pure and sweet, and the way she tucked her knees up to her chest on the little chair made her look so young and small, and really he wanted to curse himself for his own damn dirty mind, but as much as he heard Merles voice ringing in his head, he heard hers, and it was louder. She wanted him, it was plain and simple, and she liked it when he surprised her with little bits of affection, that's what made him do it.

He dramatically yawned and stretched dropping his arm around her shoulder, her chair swivelling a little bit, which actually worked out well because it brought her neck a little closer to him, he glanced up and Jakob's eyes were still glued to the screen, Beth though looked all kinds of surprised as she looked at him, one had snapping to his leg to steady herself and the other to the side of her chair as it swung with the movement. Daryl smiled at her slight giggle once her mind caught up, and he inched his hand down from her shoulder to her breast, slipping a finger inside her bra and squeezing a little.

'All the subtlety in the world.' She giggled, slapping him away a little.

Daryl smirked again. 'This is what ya meant to do right? At the movies?' He nipped her neck as he squeezed at her chest again. Beth wriggled on the chair a little her hand slipped up his leg a little as she tried to stabilize herself.

'Like you've never done it before.' She rolled her eyes.

And he smiled at her, because no, he'd never spent enough time with a girl to care about this kind of teasing, Merle had pushed his first girl in the back of his pickup at some dirty fourth of July carnival, and that had set the tone for every girl after that. Most of them were ones Merle had pushed him into, quick haphazard meetings in cars, behind a couch at some queasy party, in an alley. Sure there were one or two that he'd managed on his own, but it didn't change the circumstance, and the only one he'd ever spent any time with was that bar girl, who's name didn't even matter anymore, because really the only reason he spent time with her was because he ordered drinks of her every weekend so he didn't want to thoroughly fuck it up and have to start drinking at another bar, so no he had never done this before, but Beth would just think him more of an inexperienced fool if he explained all that. 'Ain't never been to the movies before.' He offered because that was true.

Beth hadn't done the whole roaming hands in the dark thing before. Jimmy had taken her to the movies, but it took three quarters of the movie for him to pluck up the courage to hold her hand, and the rest of the movie was really just an uncomfortable sweaty palmed awkward thing that left her arm aching because she was too scared to move it. 'My friend Rachel told me she gave her boyfriend a hand job when they went, I don't know if it was true...' She muttered in a hushed voice.

Daryl frowned at her and pulled his hand out of her top as he nodded to Jakob.

She giggled slightly, which finally earned Jakob's attention, he turned to look at them holding up another candy and after receiving a nod from Daryl stuffed it under his mask into his mouth. 'I wasn't saying we should.' She corrected. 'I was just... I never did this either, that's all I meant.' And that little admission earned her a kiss on her neck. 'I mean Jimmy and I just held hands.' She admitted. 'Zach and I really didn't get all that much further...but he was sweet.'

'Nice...' Daryl commented before sucking her neck a little and holding her close, so that as he pushed his leg against the bench it rolled both their chairs back a little and gave them a tiny bit more privacy from Jakob.

'Nice?' Beth huffed feeling stupid at the admission, really she thought she should stop talking, more often than not, but she couldn't help blurting stuff out like that.

Daryl realized what he'd done, accidently having that overtone of sarcasm, he pulled his head back a little. 'I mean nice we get to... have a whole bunch of firsts together.' He commented, and Beth smiled at that, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Daryl blushed as Jakob looked at him, he could see the smile under the mask and pointed to the screen. 'Don't want to miss a thing mate.' He commented and Jakob turned back around to the screen. They all did and Daryl couldn't help the feeling of the gorgeous woman in his arms who made him feel so nervous and so sure at the same time. He let his fingers lazily trace the outline of her breast as he watched the old movie, unwilling to actually look at her, because right now he felt like a fifteen year old on his first date, and he didn't want to remember that he was a thirty something year old man swooning over a girl who really was in her teens, in the middle of a zombie apocalypse with their adopted child a few feet away chewing on candy that really should just be binned. This little make believe world was so much better, only it wasn't, because what he had right now was pretty un-fucking-believable, but whatever.

**A/N so hope you enjoyed :D please don't forget to review! (thanks to those who already have, were at 300 reviews already! ) big chapter at number 48 BTW!**


	47. Plannin' sumfin'

**A/N thank you all for your reviews and loyal reading :D**

Jakob jumped, the movie had just got to the intense build up where the first zombie was raising from the grave when the actual walker splattered itself on the window just to the left of Jake.

Jakob looked to them with shock, and Daryl didn't bother moving, he had spotted it a while ago, it had sat there in a a seat looking at the screen, and it took a good fifteen minutes for it to move its head and Daryl realized it was still alive. Since then it had aimlessly wandered around the darkened cinema, but they were safe in the control room, so Daryl hadn't bothered.

Beth was laughing at Jakobs reaction which had his fingers knocking against Beth's breasts where his hand was still teasing under the fabric of her shirt. Daryl slowly pulled his hand out, not wanting to bring attention to it because Jakob was still looking wide eyed at him.

'Fuckin' 3-D movies.' Daryl grumbled, as he leant forward a little.

The walker didn't seem to be going anywhere now it had spotted them, it was content smushing itself over the glass and Daryl decided it was time to go, they somehow had a tendency to call others once one spotted food. He frowned at the thought of his family being food.

He stood and the others followed suit almost immediately, Jakob stuffing the remaining candies into his pocket. Daryl cleared their way back towards the car his family following, and although they attracted a few walkers none got close, still there was a four or so of them chasing them when they reached the car, Beth threw the keys to Daryl. Driving right now was probably not the greatest idea, she opened Jakobs door and piled in the back, pushing him through, Slayer narrowly darted through Daryl's legs as he opened the front door, and Daryl dove in revving the car to life and quickly turning, bumping one of the walkers with the tailgate before speeding of to the open highway.

He looked in the rear view mirror and saw Jakob had his mask off, and was leaning on Beth's chest taking in deep laboured breaths. He hadn't noticed what was happening until things had slowed down a little. Beth was doing ok though, just like Elizabeth had taught her, and Daryl vaguely felt guilty for bringing Jakob along, but he wanted to share this with him, and truth be told he could have an attack from innocently sitting around, so why not let him live a little. Jakob might be fine, and he might not, Daryl couldn't wrap him up in cotton wool because it would make no difference. That knowledge didn't help, his knuckles gripped the steering wheel, white under the force and his eyes kept darting back to Jakob.

Daryl had seen him worse, but regardless, it still worried him every time. A little way down the road he felt Beth climbing through into the front seat and he looked back to see Jakob, eyes a little teary, sitting back up, munching on another of those disgustingly sugared candy's, colour returned to his face, and finally Daryl let his aching heart settle.

'You ok?' He asked Jakob, and he received an excited nod.

'That was soo cool!' The boy commented. Daryl chuckled a little and glanced at Beth who was smiling at the boy. There was silence for a while they all stared out the window, watching trees and broken down cars and the occasional walker whiz by them, before Jakob spoke up again. 'Do you think it's happened before?'

Beth looked back to Jakob with confusion. 'What?'

'Walkers...zombies... Why did people think to make a movie about them before?' Jakob asked.

And Beth considered that, because he was right, the dead coming back to life and eating you was an unlikely thing, and yet there were so many tales on it from zombies to vampires, mummies... she looked to Daryl, who sighed, like he really was feeling too lazy to give up the information, but wanted to also. 'What do you think? She prompted.

'I dunno.' he wiped at his beard and glanced back to Jakob. _Yeah why not tell them? _He swallowed. 'Eugene's fairly convinced it's what wiped out the dinosaurs... reckons it's spread by spores that cause an infection, said something about a three month period.'

Beth furrowed her brow, before eyeing Daryl. 'What?'

He looked over to her and decided to start at the beginning. 'Ok so basically, he thinks it was caused millions u' years ago by some plant the dinosaurs ate, anyway, it only affects the tissue of the species that ate it, like it...dunno adapts, so these dinosaurs started re-animating and eatin' each other 'till all the ones on land ended up dead, after enough of 'em died, man came along and culled the rest.' Daryl answered.

'But they're dinosaurs.' Jakob answered.

Daryl glanced back to him and continued. 'Yeah so it's like this plant thing...' Daryl waved his hand around the back of his head because he couldn't really remember the words Eugene had used when they huddled around the fire with the walker that he decided to do an autopsy on in order to explain, and plant was the best thing that he could describe what he saw as. 'Anyway once ya breathe in the spores ya body contracts the virus and it starts growin' at the bottom of ya brain, sum' people are straight up allergic to it and it infects them and they die instantly, but most of us, our brain can stop it... fight it, 'till ya die anyway, then it just takes over, course if ya get bit and the infection gets to ya brain then it feeds it enough to take over...some people are more immune than others.' Daryl explained.

'Is that why some people die when they get scratched, but then Lucas who said he got scratched lived?' Beth questioned curiously.

Daryl shrugged at that because he was pretty sure he'd been scratched twice, and he had locked himself away and yet nothing had happened. 'Anyway, apparently if ya go thirty days without any new contamination, it will starve out completely, but you know, not being within breathing or touchin' space of a walker for that long is damn near impossible, and then ya get reinfected anyway.'

'Did we eat the plant?' Jakob questioned and Daryl shook his head.

'Nah some dumbass guy dug up a dinosaur, dug through its brain and decided to test it on a bunch of tissues, n' then live animals, course he didn't realize what was going to happen, so when this rat died n' reanimated launching at him he knocked over the human tissue sample n' must've got it in his dunno eye or the bite or something, Eugene's not sure, the place got bombed. Course they put the humans out in quarantine, but didn't realize... course there was a massacre, bunch of 'em died, then after a little while more on quarantine they thought it was only spread through bites, with no more deaths they okayed everyone and some guy crashed his car on the way home, and it just went from there.' Daryl explained.

Jakob didn't really look like he understood, but Beth seemed to be following easily. 'So if we get to Washington, all we have to do is find a safe place to hide out with no walkers around and wait it out?'

Daryl nodded. 'Eugene reckons the dinosaurs died out real quick, he reckons it was over a fifty to sixty year period max, you think we can find somewhere walker safe for that long?'

Beth's face fell a little bit because she realized that he was right. Daryl regretted saying it as soon as he saw that. He sniffed 'Dun' know Beth, maybe somewhere like the middle of the Arabian desert, them wanderin' around out there, no water I'd Say they'd cook pretty quick, starve quicker too, we could be safe. 'M sure the elements somewhere can help us...they slowed right down in winter, maybe the arctic?' Daryl suggested and that gave Beth a tiny bit of hope.

He pulled in to the camp and rolled the car up to their broken down little RV. Daryl's eyes automatically scanned the camp and all looked to be in good order. Daryl stepped out of the car and watched Slayer cautiously trot to the back wheel of the car where he cocked his leg and relieved himself, the dog shook lazily and went to sit by the door of the RV.

'We will work something out Daryl... there has to be a way for us to survive.' Beth answered.

Daryl nodded as he opened Jakes door and helped him out 'Yeah I know.'

Beth looked around again as she fixed her knife, it all seemed safe, but she had to make sure she had a weapon if she was going to be alone. 'Going to find a toilet.' She told Daryl, receiving a small nod.

Daryl grumbled some sort of acceptance that he'd heard. And he and Jake headed to the back of the RV which was pretty much their official piss post now, it was close and yet out of sight. Daryl was going to give up on tonight, Jakobs little asthma attack having him nervous, but Jakob argued that he was so excited to have a special sleep out with Dale and Elizabeth. Daryl had suggested it to the boy nearly a week ago, under the strict promise of keeping it a secret from Beth, and Jakob explained that he even brought candy back for them.

Daryl considered arguing the boy on it, but really Elizabeth was better at dealing with the asthma than he or Beth were, her being a nurse before helped allot. And Dale, although older was just as physically capable of keeping them safe from any walkers, and he knew that the two of them would protect the boy with their life. So he had no uneasiness about that, it was just the worry of having Jakob out of his sight, which really was selfish considering how keen Jakob was to spend the night with 'Granny and Gramps.' As he'd started calling them.

Daryl sighed and followed the happy boy to their RV where he knocked on the door enthusiastically. Daryl didn't say much, just handed Jakob over and mentioned that he had a small attack on the way home, Elizabeth told him not to worry, that they'd look after him, and Dale had winked as he shut the door.

Daryl took in a nervous breath and steadied his hands before heading purposely back to his own RV where he was sure Beth would be waiting by now... this time he wasn't going to back out...

**A/N no I don't know what the cause of the turn was, I don't have any secret spoilers, that was completely made up on the basis of Eugene's comment 'well we can't say for sure this isn't what wiped out the dinosaurs' so hope it didn't sound too stupid of an expiation. **

**Anyway, tomorrows chapter will be the first really ... detailed scene, so I hope I do ok at it, and hope you all enjoy.**

**Please review ;D**


	48. First time at somethin'- Part 1

**A/N well geez bethyl nuts thanks for the spoiler. **** lol, that's ok I don't mind if they have that relationship for a while, I like a slow burn, I'd like them to start thinking about it in like season six or seven though, when the directors commented on the script at the funeral home and there was a stare, they were like 'Daryl looks at Beth and realizes he has feelings for her' they later deleted that, but the idea must be there for them to say that. I don't mind though, as long as they don't put him with Carol because I really don't like her... I never have, her and lorri I hated. Also your health is more important than a story, so don't ever use that, back to the important line on me again lol.**

**Also sorry yes a fag is a smoke, coffin nail, ciggy, durry, roll-o cigarette, sorry my ausiness slipped in there again lol, but I'm not willing to change that one, because dudes, I'll call it a smoke, but really a fag is a fag, and i don't know how you can sound like a proper hick when you go 'pass me that cigarette...even smoke is a bit tame, its a fag. :D lol anyway... there's a few British and Irish readers, who I'm pretty sure call 'em fags, at least all my friends do, but maybe I taught them lol. Anyway for anyone who didn't know, a fag is a smoke. ;D**

Daryl opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him. Beth looked concerned from her position on the bed. 'Where's Jake and Slayer?' She questioned half worried, but also not because Daryl didn't look like they'd just died.

Daryl shrugged. 'They're with Elizabeth...'

Beth looked Daryl up and down, she couldn't hide her grin despite her trying to clamp her lip down with her teeth, it spread regardless at the way he nervously stood by the door. 'Oh...' The realization hit her.

Her reaction was less enthusiastic than he had expected, in fact it was almost no reaction, or at least it sounded like it was no reaction, he wasn't exactly looking at her. 'We don't have to, I just thought you wanted...'

'I want to!' Beth answered immediately.

Daryl glanced up to her. 'Are you sure, because if it's not ok, we can wait... I mean I can go get Jake or just...you know we can talk or whatever...'

Beth smiled and sat up a little more. 'No, it's ok, I just wasn't expecting it.'

Daryl smiled a little before looking back down to his shoes, he still hadn't moved from the door.

Beth let out a slight giggle at his nervous behaviour and his head shot up. 'You can't do anything from over there.' She commented. That seemed to spur him into motion and he quickly crossed to her, his knees knocking uncomfortably on the bed where he halted, he almost bent over, but then he turned instead and sat on the bed, removing his shoes and then swivelled his hips to look at her. Beth's cheeks had stained a violent red and Daryl felt his flash to match.

Beth huffed a small laugh again.

'What?' Daryl asked, knowing he was doing this completely wrong.

'You've done this before, you shouldn't be nervous.' She answered.

Daryl shrugged before looking back to his knees.

Beth let her legs slide down to the end of the bed where he sat, and let her foot press into his knee. 'I mean you've done it a few times, you know what you're doing...better than me, I've never done this at all...' She wasn't embarrassed, he knew that already, and she was just really hoping he would be his macho self about it and just take over.

He fiddled with his own fingers. 'Dun' think I've ever done it without being drunk.' He admitted.

Beth frowned at that, maybe that's why he was nervous, does he actually remember doing it, or does he just know he had? 'You know what to do tho right?'

He looked up and nodded again with a slight chuckle.

Beth blushed, it was a stupid question and she knew it. 'That's good...' It was a pointless comment really, but she had no idea where to start, she wished they had just decided to do it halfway through making out, then it wouldn't be so awkward, but that's not how it was working out, they had this, and whatever happened it would work out ok, she knew that. 'How many times?'

His brow furrowed.

She looked to her own lap before elaborating 'How many girls...have you...?'

Daryl didn't answer her.

'Is that ok?...for me to ask...it's not important...I just want to know, I don't know why...' Beth frowned a little.

Daryl took a deep breath he understood, because had he not been there to watch her love life from start to finish he'd probably want to know too, it had never mattered before, but somehow that stuff did now, with her. 'Don' ask that stuff Beth.' He understood why she wanted to know but it didn't mean he wanted to tell her about his own, well it wasn't a love life...encounters .

'Why?' She eyed him carefully.

He shrugged again, returning his eyes to his fiddling hands. 'Coz it dun' matter, never cared 'bout any of 'em, it was just something ta do... just doin' whatever Merle did... mean, just you know... numbers don't matter, it was enough, I never really kept count... just did it...'

Beth took another deep breath, and she idly wondered what he counted as enough. 'Ya have any regulars?'

Daryl frowned at her, wondering what possessed her to ask such a question.

'You know, like girlfriends, or were you one of those, never sleep with the same girl twice guys?'

Daryl huffed at that, that was a ridiculous thought. 'Like a player?...' Beth nodded, it's not really what she meant, but close enough. 'Nah Beth... guess there was Max, she owned a bar, woke up at her place allot, but we weren't anythin', we were just lonely I guess...' He looked at Beth before confirming what he felt was the most important thing. 'Ain't cared about her, guess we were, ya'know mates, but it was always quick and then I'd say something mean and she'd send me to the couch n' that was it, I'd pass out and leave 'fore she got up, wan't like you... you ain't like that.'

Beth smiled. 'I know that Daryl, I was just asking.' She shrugged.

Daryl still didn't seem willing to move, for a man that had apparently planned this, he seemed so confused about it. Beth folded her diary and stuck it on the little shelf by the bed, before sitting on her knees and shuffling to the end of the bed and hugging him.

The action wasn't really what he expected, and it threw him of a little more if that was at all possible, because this was different, this hug had no meaning to it, it wasn't because one of them were leaving or returning or hurt or cold, it was just pure affection, and she'd never held him quiet like this before, maybe once the other day after they had that fight, but even that which had utterly overwhelmed him wasn't as purposeful as this.

It seemed to be enough to spur his mind into action, and after a moment he nuzzled her neck and kissed it, Beth copied the action before pulling her head back and looking at him, she didn't have anything to say, but he did.

'You love me.' It was a certain statement and really he wanted to change a few words around, but even though he'd tried to say it once before, it wasn't ready to come out.

Beth nodded a little. 'And you love me?' She answered, she had told him she loved him before, but he had never said it to her and it left her stomach twisting in the hopes that he would agree.

He shrugged slightly, but then the way he looked at her and the smallest of nods was enough to convince her that he did.

She smiled again and felt him pressing his lips to hers, for long moment, it was gentle and confirming, but he didn't pull away, instead his hand cupped her cheek and he kissed her again, and a third time before she felt his tongue prodding at her lip and she opened her mouth to him.

This was a completely different way of kissing her, it was open and deep, but not invasive at all, there was something about it that was almost painful, it was so full of everything, emotion and passion and want and there was a part of it that was almost like a farewell, a goodbye to the loneliness and pain that had always lived in him, and it was love, and friendship and a promise of an eternity.

No one had ever kissed her like this, and she idly wondered how Daryl knew how to do this, because she wasn't really sure, until this moment that he really knew how to love her, it was ok if he didn't, if he just bumbled his way through, but now she knew he could, and he did, and that was the most amazing revelation of all.

Beth's mind finally caught up with her body and she realized that he had changed from that amazing kiss into a much needier one, he had pushed her back and his kisses were greedier and quicker than they had been, his breathing was heavy, almost as heavy as her own and his hands were amazingly everywhere at once, grabbing and holding and pulling her into him without any reservation.

Her head was spinning, and there was little more she could do that hold on to his shirt for dear life and just let it happen. Suddenly Maggies face flashed in her mind, she remembered that conversation Maggie had before her big date with that Cameron boy at Claire's fifteenth. Maggie and her were so different, Beth was only eight at the time, and she didn't understand what Maggie was talking about at the time, but she did as she got older. Maggie wasn't shy about it at all, just expectant, she hadn't cared wether she loved Cam or not, she knew she didn't, which put the two of them in such different boats to begin with because this wasn't something Beth was doing just for fun, she wasn't willing to sneak of behind the barn at her best friend's birthday, this had to be with Daryl, because she loved, him, and she couldn't imagine it being anyone else... still it would have been nice if she could have spoken to her sister about it, if Maggie could've been there to give advice or answer questions or help her get ready, brush her hair like she had done for Maggie... she had Elizabeth, but that wasn't the same.

'Oh!' Beth exclaimed with that thought, Daryl thought it was a happy _oh_ and scraped his teeth on her neck a second time as he had just done moments before hand, Beth giggled a little before pushing him back, catching sight of his dark eyes, he plunged his face down for another kiss before returning to her neck.

'Wait Daryl!' She admonished him, and it took all his will power which was virtually depleted over these past few months for him to listen, but he did.

He didn't speak, but he gave her a questioning look as she pushed him of her. 'Did I do something wrong?' He asked, it was a genuine question, because he had never let his hands roam as much as they did moments ago and he wondered if it had made her uncomfortable.

Beth sparred him a glance before crossing to the kitchen cupboard. 'No Daryl, it's just I remembered.' She commented bringing back the little bag and giving it to him.

He squinted. 'Don't care much for gifts right now...just want you.'

Beth smiled widely at the honesty before motioning for him to open the bag. He looked down to it and pulled the contents out in one handful, he looked at it the condom and the underwear almost made sense but the rest had him baffled.

'What's this?' He asked, still trying to control himself from just launching at her.

'It's a gift from Elizabeth and Dale, she gave it to me days ago, for you know... whenever we need it.'

Daryl frowned, but it didn't dampen Beth's smile in the least. She snatched the razor and underwear and crossed to the bathroom, depositing it in the little sink before turning and struggling with the door. She pulled at it but it refused to close, so Daryl finally stood and crossed to help her, once it was secure he heard her muffled voice 'Thanks...you know, if I'm coming out there in my underwear you better not be wearing anything else but yours, I'm not going to be the only naked one Daryl.'

'Mhm.' He agreed and quickly crossed depositing the clothes on the bench where they normally sat, he looked around and straightened the bed not that they weren't going to just mess it up again, but Beth liked nice things so why not try and make it a little nice? He picked up the candle and cigarette with a grin, and lit the candle, placing it on Beth's side, at least she would have something nice, and he put the cigarette on his, obviously they'd packed their present before he told Dale he was quitting... once would be ok, he deserved one, he placed it down refusing the temptation to light it up while he waited. He looked back to the bathroom door. 'You done yet?'

'M-m.'

He scrunched his brow. 'What are ya doing?'

'Shaving my legs.' Came the simple reply.

Daryl scratched his head and flopped on the bed wearing nothing but the black boxers. 'How long is it going to take you?'

He heard Beth let out a heavy breath. 'I don't know, not long.'

He rolled onto his back and propped his head up staring at the door. 'Ya don' need ta, I don't care.'

'I know Daryl, but I do, I wanna be pretty for you ok.' Came the little voice and he could tell she was a little nervous.

He chuckled slightly, because that in itself was unusual, he'd never had someone care enough to want to be pretty 'Well ya look like a damn model, can't get much prettier.' He answered, and it wasn't him just arguing the point, he wanted her to know he appreciated it, even if that's not how it came out.

And then he thought maybe there was something he should do, he stood and squared his face in the small mirror by the bed, he quirked his lips to one side, there wasn't really much he could do with that, he attempted to ruffle his hair, but it wasn't particularly long, so there was not much he could change about that, although he flattened down the few wispy bits she had missed in her cut, he tugged at the few hairs on his cheeks, maybe he could have shaved them off if she didn't take the only razor, and he didn't much fancy taking his time in there after she was done, he looked down to his body and tensed his muscles, girls liked it when guys did that right? He shook his head, that was just weird.

'Anythin' ya want me ta do?' He questioned feeling a little lost at what he was supposed to do, he didn't even have deodorant handy.

'No...just don't smoke that cigarette in here, It will set of Jakes asthma... and I don't like the taste.' She commented.

'Ok.' He gave up and settled for examining his arms for any traces of walker blood for that evening, but he couldn't see any, so he returned to the bed and eagerly awaited whatever sort of angel that would step out from behind that door.

**A/N to whoever said they were happy I gave Daryl a hair cut me too, he looks like fifty years older with it long lol, shorter is much better! Anyway, hope you enjoyed, please review, next chapter has all those 'O' moments you've been waiting for.. well sort of I've tried to keep it a little surprising still. Please don't forget to review.**


	49. First time at somethin'-Part 2

**A/N Here's Part 2**

**Also this chapter is not as long as it looks, I have a three thousand word A/N at the bottom lol, which you do not have to read unless you liked my A/N about my brother the other day.**

**Also Beth's dozen secrets is up now :D**

**Anyway, please read and don't forget to review.**

Beth finished dry shaving her legs, which left them a little itchy, but she was planning on being too distracted to notice itchy legs. She finished undressing and tried on the new lime green underwear. She stood and looked at her reflection in the mirror, the bra was a little too small if that was possible, but that with the 2xbooster cup actually made her look like a half decent size... until Daryl removed it, she saw her cheeks redden as that thought crossed her mind.

She shook that way and redid her pony tail, tucking the wispy bits back in, she considered leaving it down, but she really liked it when he nibbled on her neck, which might not be so good with a mouthful of hair, so she tucked it up and gave herself a firm nod, refusing her nerves before turning and fighting with the door.

It actually moved for once and she stumbled through it a little catching herself on the bed before standing again.

Daryl looked to her with a chuckle. 'Keen ain't ya.' He smirked.

'Shutup!' She admonished, she was going to think of some really smart ass comment, but the way he was ogling her changed the mood too dramatically.

His eyes drifted up and down her several times, he kept trying to look at her face but his eyes kept dropping again, it made her nervous, but she didn't really mind either, she took the opportunity to do the same, her eyes drifted down his chest, she hadn't really spent allot of time looking at it because until recently he'd been so weird about the shirt thing, but she took the time to appreciate it now, he was musclely, but nor in the six pack male model steroids kind of way, he still looked real, all that hunting and walking and fighting doing his body well, her eyes drifted down and she blushed as she skipped to his legs, which were equally as musclely, although his left one seemed to sport almost as many scars as his back. They looked fresher though, still old but maybe they were hunting accidents or something, she remembers him coming back once with part of an antler sticking out of it, her eyed drifted back up again and settled on his groin this time. She snapped her eyes to his, but he was looking at her still, so she let her eyes go back, and she felt herself flush at the sight, because she had never seen a naked, or semi-naked man before and the shape of him was obvious, only the thin layer of material outlining it. She felt a little stupid staring like that but her curiosity won out.

She noticed his body shifted slightly and she looked to his face and saw that he was actually looking at her now, her cheeks flushed more and she huffed a small almost laugh, but he didn't seem fazed, he just held out his hand and almost whispered. 'C'mere...'

Beth smiled shyly as she crawled onto the bed, he kept pulling her hand until he could reach her leg and continued pulling until she sat straddling his hips, she nervously relaxed her weight onto him and felt her eyes pop a little as his hardness pushed into her bottom, he huffed as he pulled her thighs up a fraction settling her closer to his stomach. Before he looked down to her breasts and moved his hands from her thighs to her waist. He glanced her over again before looking back to her face. 'Y'look real pretty Beth.' And her ears pricked at his voice which seemed a little deeper than normal.

She idly wondered what to do with her hands, she held them together, then rested them on his stomach, then her thighs, then his forearms, then her thighs again, before finally leaning forward a little and resting them somewhere between his ribs and his chest, and for a moment one of his hands left her waist to cover her hands and made sure they were still before he placed it back. Her hands had never felt so foreign, she scoffed slightly before swallowing her nerves down. 'You look nice too.'

'He scoffed at that. 'Ya must be a damn blind.' But Beth didn't let his words change her mind, she quickly leant down and pressed a kiss to his temple before sitting back up and giving him a nervous tight lipped smile.

He returned it as he looked her up and down again, taking another deep breath before returning his eyes to hers. 'You sure you want this?'

Beth nodded.

'S'ok if ya change your mind, ya can just say, won't be disappointed or anythin'... mean I would be ok with whatever you want.'

'Course ya'd be disappointed... wouldn't do that to you.' She answered.

Daryl shook his head. 'Hey, I got this far, id die a happy man right now.' He answered, and his eyes dropped again, not to look at her though, it was the way they always did when he was uncomfortable. 'No always means no, even if were almost done or something ok...I won't hurt ya like that Beth.' His eyes looked back up to her. 'You don't have to be scared of sayin' stop Beth.'

She nodded, and although she had no plans of stopping his concern made her feel a little easier. 'I know Daryl, you've never hurt me.' She shifted slightly which sent air rushing past the wet spot that had soaked thru to his stomach, cooling it in a delicious wave of satisfaction. Daryl bit back a groan which had Beth smiling again. 'I am so scared, but I am so ready, I don't want to wait anymore.'

'You are...' He agreed before the second half of her sentence registered. Daryl furrowed his brow at that admission. 'What are you scared of?' it was amazing that he had this beautiful woman atop him telling him she wanted him, but still the fact that something still scared her about it was enough to make him wait long enough to ask.

Beth shrugged a little, and bit her lip. 'Have you... ever been with someone like me before?'

Daryl's brow furrowed as he shook his head. 'Ain't no one like ya Beth.'

She grinned a little but it didn't cover the concern on her face. 'I mean, some girls say it hurts, I mean Chloe said...'

Daryl cut her off, because even though he hadn't had the girly talk with Beth's friend at the prison, but he had a fair idea of how that went down. He was aware that that other young kid was going around laying claim to her, and she dumped his ass after that night that Rick had socked the kid for manhandling her, so yeah this was different, Daryl wouldn't rush it or push her like that dumbass kid. 'Ain't gonna be like that Beth.' Daryl pulled himself to sit up a little more against the pillows, realizing that this might be a conversation that needed some more talking about. 'I mean it...ain't gonna be like that, I don' own ya, and I'll try real hard ta be gentle, this ain't just for me, and I ain't gonna just take what_ I_ want.'

Beth nodded. 'I'm sorry...'

Daryl eyed her carefully but she wouldn't look at him. 'Ya wanna stop?' Beth shook her head. 'Then what for?'

She bit her lip a little and pressed her hands into his chest in a nervous shift. 'For being so confused about it?' She shook her head. 'I mean I do want this, so much but...sometimes, when you grab me, I think about... Jeremy, and then... because I'm not saying you're like him, not at all...' Beth looked back to him worried that it had come out wrong. She wanted to hit herself for letting her nerves take over, none of this had mattered to her before and now it all suddenly did.

He probably thought she was stupid, but Daryl was just listening, his hands lazily rubbing circles on her thighs and when she was sure he didn't miss-interperate it she continued. 'Then that makes me think about Chloe, and I know you're not like that, but sometimes... it's just what pops up in my mind...and I'm just nervous I guess, because I don't know how we're going to act later, what's going to change...' she scoffed a little 'And I'm really worried I'll do it wrong and then you'll be too nice to tell me I'm awful.' She laughed slightly, but Daryl didn't seem to find any amusement in her words.

He just bowed his head with a sigh. He could have refuted ever one of those comments, but he settled with his own admission hoping that would ease her a little. 'I'm scared too.'

His voice was so quiet that Beth almost didn't hear it, her head snapped up and she wondered aloud. 'What could you ever be scared off?

'Just that... maybe I'll do it wrong, maybe you'll hate me for it, maybe one day you will wake up and realize what an ass I am and send me packin', I mean, you, you dun' gotta worry, there ain't a damn thing you can do wrong, but I ain't ever got anything right in my life, ya know why I ain't dun' it wifout bein' pissed?'

Beth looked at him expectantly and he almost regretted the admission but she always told him everything, so why should he hold back, it had slipped out now, so he had to continue. '...Coz my dad... and it's just 'bout... known I can stop it, havin' the power to do what I want... ain't never done it just coz I cared, only coz I wanted to have that power, it's supposed to be bout lovin' someone, and I don't even know if I can love...' The admission had him dropping his head in shame.

'But you love me.' Came the certain and quiet voice.

He couldn't look at her, he tried but he couldn't. 'I hope so, sometimes I think I do, I keep feelin' that I do, I even tried to say it a couple times, but... I don't know if I can, don't know if it's in me... I'm just full of anger and hate and I don't know if I've got room for lovin'.' He knew he was blowing his chances but he couldn't lie to her, he shut his eyes and expected the sting of her hand but instead he felt the gentlest of kisses on his head.

'You do Daryl.' It was the only thing she was certain of now days. 'And maybe you are full up of all that stuff, but you can fit love in there...you do and you're hearts so big that just those little bits that you can manage are five times what anyon else can give in a life time.'

Beth grabbed his chin hairs and tugged them up to her. 'You do love me Daryl, and you don't ever have to say it, you don't ever have to admit it, not even to yourself if you can't... but I know you do, I know it as sure as I am of anything, so don't you go thinking you can't... don't rule it out and give up on yourself because I never will. Your heart is gonna keep growing Daryl, and one day you're going to know it too, and I could never hate you, no matter how many times you screw this up, because that's one of the things I love about you, you're always messy and timid and just wild, but I love you anyway.' She stated, and knowing that he was more scared about the whole thing than her made her feel allot more confinant.

And with that Beth bent and kissed his cheek, and the mild determination she did it with made him melt into her, because, she really did accept every little messed up aspect of him, she understood him and loved him regardless, and it didn't matter that he'd never believe that he deserved her, because she always would, and her belief was enough.

He turned his face to meet hers and kissed her with all the passion he had earlier, thankful that she didn't suddenly feel the need to run off and shave or change or do something equally ridiculous again. Her hands frantically grabbed around his neck and head as his did, and it was nothing more than a delightfully messy tumble of faces and arms and hands, as he attempted to flip them. Suddenly with her beneath him, he could feel her breaths more solidly, which made his hands leave her neck, because he really had to slip one behind her and pull her harder against him, and also because he wanted to feel her heart, and see if it was beating as fast as his own, because he wondered if it was abnormal and about to pound through his chest, that awful buzzing pain really was so harsh that he considered stopping, but it all felt too delightful.

Her legs were wrapped tight around his torso and arms held onto his shoulders as he attempted to mawl her neck with the hardest kisses he had yet dared to place upon her, she groaned in what seemed like pain, but when he apologetically returned to her lips, she kissed him just as forcefully, scraping teeth and jaw bones and another groan ripped from her as she thrust her hips into him, and he understood that was a very contented sound.

His hand drifted to her bra, which felt so full in his hands compared to last time, and he really needed to feel more of them, so he dropped his head and started placing kisses all over her chest, he shivered as her hands ran through his hair, and her thighs settled closer to his ribs, and his hands drifted to them, where he ran it up and down as he continued his assault on her chest, before slipping his hand under her panty line, greedily grabbing at her butt cheek and eliciting another moan. He smiled and looked up at her daringly as he pulled the hand away and returned to her breast, slipping two fingers under the cup and tugging it down slightly, not quiet revealing her nipple, but showing the pink flesh that surrounded it, he pulled his mouth from her neck again to suck at the newly exposed flesh which had her whimper and her hands pulling his head into her, that response made him harder if that were possible and he painfully throbbed, rubbing against the mattress as he tugged at the material a little more and latched onto her nipple.

'Gnah Daryl!' She cried and the noise made him nip at her before sucking again and then pulling away, covering her breast with the cup, she would've complained but his mouth silenced hers, and with him moving up she could feel his hardness pushing into her in the most delightful way. She pressed up into him, relishing in the feeling of him rubbing against her, the thin material of their underwear doing little to hinder the sensation.

Daryl groaned as he let himself grind into her, and Beth couldn't help the smile that split their kiss as his head dropped a little, and he started making pleasurable little grunts at every thrust against her, he seemed to indulge in the feeling for a minute or so before grinding harshly one more time making her legs jolt and pulling his hips back a little, and returning to kissing her, his tongue scraping against her own, and both of them groaning heavily into one another.

Beth dragged her hand down his back and around his hip to grab onto the member that kept poking into her stomach, he pushed into her hand, and shifted a little, lifting himself up higher, which gave his tongue a new angle, and helped her reach him a little better, the material was thin and tight and although she didn't dare slip her hand under it, she could feel the shape of him easily. She dragged her hand up to the head of his penis which earned her a contented groan and the loss of his lips as his head lulled into the pillow beside her face, she pushed her hand back down a little until she reached his balls which were pulled up tight against his body, and a little experimental squeeze there had him growling ferally into her neck and pulling her hand away with a few heavy thrusts against her, and then a pause as she felt his body shaking slightly, he pulled his face up to look at her and smiled lovingly before raining her face with kissed and pulling back again.

'Gotta slow down, 'f ya want me ta last 'k.' He advised, and Beth nodded eagerly.

She bit her lip as he went back to her neck. 'I'm ready Daryl.'

He pulled of her neck and looked at her again. 'Hmm?'

She blushed a little, but wasn't really embarrassed. 'I'm ready...I want you to...' She glanced down his body to his underwear.

He let out a half chuckle before kissing her again. 'Ya ain't.'

'I am.' she reasserted.

He looked at her again before nodding his head. 'Mean I can't just do it like that...less ya want it ta hurt.' He finished as he began kissing his way down her chest, between her breasts and down her stomach, until he reached her navel.

'Sure?' he questioned again, and after receiving an nod he ran his hands down to her panties, one hand on her hip, while the other grazed over her sensitive core, she bucked into him involuntarily and he beamed a smile up at her, he tried again, running his fingers over the wet material, and got a slightly smaller reaction this time, but it was still obvious. He kissed the bottom of her stomach where the band of her underwear sat and pushed his thumb against her, smiling at the loud moan he received.

With that he readjusted his position, one arm under her back and the other wrapping under her thigh so her leg ran over his shoulder, he looked up to her, making sure he could gauge her reaction and he slipped a finger under the material and ran it along her up to the most sensitive spot, where he applied a little pressure again, Beth's face screwed up as another pleasurable noise tore from her, Daryl spent another minute or so watching her squirm and her fists balling into the sheets as he rubbed small circles there before finally lifting his head from the incredible pillow that was her abdomen and sitting a little as he dragged the underwear down her legs, and for half a second he did appreciate the soft smooth shaved feeling of them.

Beth didn't even seem to notice the action, her eyes were still screwed shut, and her teeth were biting painfully into her lower lip, she only released it when she felt Daryl's lips against her own. She kissed him back with all the intensity that he was kissing her. She pulled his hips into her and began a futile attempt to hump the erection that was pushing into her, but Daryl seemed to refuse to reply, she nipped at his lip a little which earned her a deep chuckle before he pushed her body away for a moment, before slipping his hand in between them and continuing his massage from moments before.

Beth's eyes screwed shut again, and her mouth stopped working again as she tried to bite back all the noises she wanted to make. Daryl didn't seem fazed, he simply dropped his mouth to her chest and began sucking and biting the exposed flesh there. His breathing was nearly as harsh and ragged as Beth's as he attempted to mentally scold himself to pay attention.

For all the want to just drive into her, his vague discussion with Dale... well it wasn't a discussion Dale did most of the talking or mumbling, but it left him knowing he couldn't just jump in, because truth be told he really didn't know that, he wondered at the time why Dale had presumed he didn't but he was grateful. Merle never told him about it and every girl he'd come in contact with had been round the block that many times it was like dropping an arrow down a mineshaft, he'd never had to think about it before. Beth's constant mewling and pulling wasn't doing his resolve much good though, and then her voice broke into his mind.

'Now?' she asked between heated breaths.

He looked up at her, making sure that he would spot any sign of her being uncomfortable as pushed his fingers down her wetness, she seemed happy with his exploration so he pushed a single finger inside her carefully, it was barley there when her eyes popped and her leg jolted up, knocking his forearm and forcing it in allot faster than he had hoped. She let out a sharp cry and he carefully pulled it out and smiled at the groan of disapproval.

'Hurt?' he questioned worriedly.

Beth opened her eyes to look at him. 'Not your fault...' She tried a smile, but she was too wrapped up in the moment to make it stick. 'Again?' She encouraged, and this time being ready she didn't jolt and he inched it into her, at a snail's pace, stopping only when he reached a hardened lump which seemed far enough in. He waited for her breathing to settle and her thighs to loosen around him a little before he wiggled the finger slightly, feeling around, and dragging it down that hardened bump, which elicited a heavy moan of appreciation, he tired it again, and after receiving the same reaction a third time, at which point she bucked into his hand. He pulled out slightly and steadied her hips .

'Carefull.' He admonished before kissing her and continuing his exploration. He swiped across that lump a few more times with the same reaction, before pulling his finger out slightly and attempting to add a second digit, but as he pushed carefully in Beth's hips snapped back.

'Sorry.' She mumbled as she tried to stead herself.

Daryl shook his head and gave up for a moment in favour of kissing her and running his hands over her body again. He pressed his hardness into her accidently but the hiss of her voice in his ear drove him to do it again. 'Yes Daryl!' Her breathing was uneven again and that sent a ball of pleasure to the pit of his stomach. 'Please... just do it Daryl...'

He buried his head into the crook of her neck unable to resist her anymore, he steadied one hand around her shoulder as he reached into his boxers with the other, pulling himself out, and kicking his boxers of somewhere to the floor, and with one glide up and down his shaft, he pressed against her. Her eyes fluttered between screwed shut and wide open, and her little moans of pleasure spurred him on. He slid his member down from the sensitive group f nerves to her entrance, guiding himself with a little pleasure, and relishing her wetness, feeling her nails rake down his ribs, he finally reached his goal and carefully pressed into her, which had her whimper, and he paused, he wasn't even nearly in, but he worried it was hurting her.

'You ok?' he asked concerned that it was too early, hoping he hadn't hurt her.

'Fine Daryl...' Her stomach was flipping and her chest buzzing with delight 'Just get on with it!' She mumbled and he smiled kissing her again, ready to try again, before jumping harshly at the sound of the thudding on the door, he barley heard it, only he did and it rattled harshly in his brain.

He considered ignoring it, but when he concentrated he could hear both Jakob and Elizabeth's voices and he groaned in disappointment, before pulling back, fixing his boxers over himself and kissing Beth who really looked all too stunned to comprehend his body leaving hers. He smiled at her, as he heard the door knock again.

'Yeah commin'.' He snapped, as he looked for those lime panties and slipped her feet through ad started sliding them up her legs, he got to her knees before she registered and helped him pull them up. He kissed her again before pulling the quilt over her and grabbing his jeans, shoving his legs in them as he made for the door.

He swung it open to see one beaming little boy, a happy looking dog and two guilty looking faces.

'Sorry.' Dale offered. 'He really wanted to come home.'

Elizabeth smiled. 'We held out as long as we could... but he started crying.' She explained.

Daryl looked to the boy in her arms, clad in the blanket, breathing mask on and sleepy eyes and couldn't even manage to be annoyed with him. 'That's ok.' Daryl huffed. 'C'mere kid.' He reached for the boy and took him, stepping backwards in the van, because really as far as he had come with Beth and by extension Jakob, he didn't fancy showing of his scars, although he rethought that when his own hand brushed his hard on.

'So sorry.' Elizabeth said again.

Daryl shrugged. 'S fine... he's more important anyway...'

They both smiled softly at Daryl, and something about it made him think that they knew more than he did, but right now he didn't really care what they did or didn't know.

'See you tomorrow.' Dale answered, and with that he and Elizabeth turned to leave.

Daryl shut the door and settled Jakob into his bead, kissing his head gently. Jakob looked up to him removing his mask and setting it on the table. 'I know I was supposed to have a special sleep out...I just got scared without you... Don't be mad that I cried.'

Daryl rubbed the boys hair and grinned at him, 'It's ok Jake, never be sorry, there's not a time we don't want you here.'

Jakob sent him a wide smile back before closing his eyes. 'Can mommy sing?'

'Sure Jake.' Came the quiet voice from across the van.

Daryl tucked the blanket around the boy, pat the dog and returned to the bed where Beth was huddled up on his side, closer to the direction Jakob was, Daryl removed his jeans and climbed in behind her while she started singing, her voice soothing to Daryl as much as it was to Jakob.

Her lullaby was half complete when he blew out the little candle and shuffled under the sheets.

'_But just like you thought when you stopped here to linger, _

_We're only as separate as your little fingers._

_So cry, why not? We all do,_

_Then turn to the one you love,_

_And smile, a smile that lights up all the room._

_Follow your dreams through every out door,_

_It seems that's what we're here for...'_

He slipped up behind her and wrapped his arm around her as she continued, and then because he really couldn't help himself he kissed across her back and let the hand that was wrapped around her drift to her breast which he cupped gently, her breath hitched slightly, as she finished the song, and when she did, he could hear Jakob's heavy breathing and knew he was asleep.

Beth must have heard it too. 'You want to finish up anyway?' She pushed back into him, and he refused to move, her wetness grazed upon his leg, leaving a shiver down his spine.

He kissed her neck again, 'God yes... better not though, just in case.' Daryl sighed, although he knew if she fought him on it his resolve was close to gone. But she seemed happy settling into his arms and closing her eyes with a contented sigh.

And despite the interruption, Daryl didn't fight the realization that this was still the best night of his life so far, there was no way he was sleeping any time soon, so he simple held the woman of his dreams and smiled wholeheartedly.

**Ok so here's for another long author note, my daryls dozen is up now, and I'm writing the author note for that here, because hell I'm going to elaborate on it, because last time I posted a author note about my brother everyone went nuts over it... I had literally fifteen inboxes about how appreciated it is, so I thought I'd share a story about what happened today, because NO camile I wasn't angry at you, this is why I took so damn long to reply. Oh yeah much of this is what influenced Daryl's thoughts.**

**Technically Dan is my uncle not my brother, but there's three years between us and that's another story. Also we're pretty close to first gen Irish immigrants, there was some back and forth and we have one aboriginal man but for all intents and purposes were proud to be like 98% irish.**

**Btw apparently it's still st paddys... again.**

**My work involves allot of walking/driving around town, and our town is small, so when I get out I hear music... and it's different you know from what other people play, it's my happy music, but its Dan's angry music. (I think now is a good time to admit while, yes we are bogans, he's not an alcho, nor is he a dropkick, he has recently broken up with his wife, actually she went bat shit crazy (because she got skinny? She was nice when she was fat) and left him, taking his two kids about four months ago, and he's just not coping (he's acting like an ass because of that, she didn't leave because he was an ass, he treated her like a god damn princess) anyway so yeah I hear this music right, and when he's angry he plays stuff like the pouges and blaggards and flogging molly and the occasional rock-opera like nightwish, so yeah its 'the worst day since yesterday' blaring down the street, and I think I should just continue working, but he's been really bad lately, so I walk down the street and I see him, on the front step, hugging his Irish flag (were fairly patriotic when we want to be, usually it hangs in his toilet, but for some reason he's using it as a blanket, and there's a mix of about thirty Guinness and VB cans and bottles and he's blaring music...**

**I go and switch of the music and I hear mister Arthur yell out 'thank the fuckin lord, bout time ya got here'**

'**Sorry mister Arthur' I apologize**

'**That boy ain't right in the head, you best get him to a doctor 'fore he kills himself las.' He tells me.**

'**Fukin' brits gotta stick their nose in everywhere' Dan mumbles and mister Arthur defiantly heard it and I thought he was going to ignore Dan, only he didn't.**

'**Ain't no Brit.' (and he's not, he's a scott, and actually the man hates the brittish for some unknown reason, which is probably why Dan said it. **

'**Fuckin' tea drinkin' gossip girl Brit you are.' Because apparently that's the best insult he can come up with.**

**Mister Arthur confesses that he is actually worried about Dan and he hasn't seen him this angry in years, (because let's face it we do have the Irish temper, and he's seen us brawling on the front lawn before,) he keeps telling me Dan's a good boy and it's a shame to see a man waisted, and don't let him turn out like his brothers and all that stuff. I'm not sure what Dan said, I was busy trying to tidy up the front porch which I think had been his home since we dropped him off the other day, but I hear mister Arthur say something like. 'Oh is that right son? why don't ya drag ya sorry arse over here and say that to my face, ya cant ya so shitfaced drunk...bloody embarrassment you are' he dismisses Dan, who still hasn't moved from his chair 'Talk to me like that, I've known ya since ya was knee high, belt ya back then and I'd put ya on ya arse now.' and yeah the man might be in his seventies but I think he could, and I'm really surprised when Dan takes the challenge, because he's been mortally afraid of mister Arthur ever since he accidently egged his car when we were having a rotten egg fight about fifteen years ago.**

**This is also the point when I notice that Dan is in fact butt naked, I don't know why he was sitting on the porch naked hugging his Irish flag and drinking, I just presumed he had clothes on underneath that.**

**Anyway miss mary and aggie, two lovely church going senior citizens were talking on aggies lawn, and they both stopped to gawk at Dan... this is about the time that Ben (my partner) rocks up (someone must've rung him before I got there, because he knows dans been drinking and causing a disturbance.) so anyway he goes and defuses the argument that was going to happen, and Dan shrugs him off to go and take a piss on mister Arthurs rose bush, and I pretty much just sit on the porch and think about not crying, coz I hate seeing him all sad, and I figure bens got it, but then Dan starts yelling at miss mary 'ya like what ya see huh? Quit your gawkin, oh for god sake don't look so fucking shocked, ya cock suckin old bitte,' (this seems really harsh, but its common knowledge that in her younger days miss mary was a nun, until she was caught going down on Henry (now her husband) so I sort of don't care. 'fuckin stop ya starin' n go count ya rosaries ya dumb blind old bat' he continues (this is a good time probably to mention that were not catholic, we might be a little bit, we were raised roman catholic, but bens a protestant, and we kind of sway that way a little, and kind of sway the dreamtime (aboriginal, probably pagan religion) way too, so we don't know really what we are, we believe in god for sure, but were not Catholics... were not Anglicans, Baptists, presbeterians or Methodists and were defiantly not pentacostal, although it's not that were not catholics, were just everyday run of the mill protestants, we just don't see how paying penance and counting rosaries can get god to forgive you for you know, going down on the local hottie (because apparently that's what Henry was in his day) when you're a nun.**

**Anyway so this is when things go bad, because Ben is trying to calm Dan down and at very least get him inside and dressed and he's already been scowling at me because Dan pissed on the leg of his pants while he was yelling at miss mary, he wasn't at all yelling at aggie, because he likes her. Anyway so Ben like puts his arm on his shoulder and like wraps the flag I tossed at him around his waist and I presume he's telling him to come inside, and then Dan head butts Ben, so Ben looses his shit. (mind you, I might love Ben but he's really got anger management issues, but meh he only hits people who are acting like asses, anyway he takes a swing at Dan who hits back so he hits him again and sends him sprawling to the ground but stops because he doesn't want to beat up a drunkard, Dan attempts to stand but goes arse over end, through the rose bush and flips over the knee high iron fence.**

**We figure that might sober him up a bit, but mister Arthur drops his rake and runs (well old man runs over to him, and so does aggie) so we think something might be wrong, so we both jump the fence and Dan is like squirting blood like everywhere, land he's crying, and still in his birthday suit (naked) and he's just babbeling on about his bitch wife that he still loves, and his kids who he hasn't seen in two weeks, and he's moaning and bitching about the fence that he was supposed to fix anyway, that has now sliced his thigh open . he tried to tell me where the candles and cotton and stuff is, but really its way to deep for me to sew up (he hates hospitals)**

**So we get the idiot in the car, we only convinced him by promising he could have another Guinness on the way, so off we go, me chucking his damn flag and a Guinness at him, and he's just crying like a flippin' cat on heat the whole way, but by the time we get there, the bleeding is slowing so we go to the emergency ward and dump him in a chair and I leave the three boys there (mister Arthur came for the drive) while I go and do all the paperwork and book him in. Apparently they were busy as so we had to wait ages**

**So when I come back mister Arthur is gone, apparently his bladder is very small these days, and there's Ben sitting and smirking, and I wonder why, but then I look to Dan.**

**I'm not kidding this is what I see.**

**Someone of the walking dead set... well almost, he's got blood like everywhere though, and he's wrapped in the stupid flag, and he's obviously been playing with his leg and then itched his face because the blood is all on his face, and he's grinning wildly at these two girls with his Irish glasses (double black eyes) and when he smiles there's like all blood in his teeth. And he's so drunk he cant even sit up right (these girls look like upper class snobbers and fobbers by the way, and there he is smirking, I can tell they're out of his league, because they've got those ugly handbags that have fancy names on them and cost like three hundred dollars.**

'**Forgets his place sometimes' Ben comments and I laugh at that, **

**And then the idiot actually opens his mouth 'Hey pretty ladies.' he wobbles his eyebrows at him, and they both actually giggle, this surprises me, a) that he's showing any interest in women at all because despite Ben telling him he needs to get laid he's been uninterested and B) because he looked like a damn idiot and sure I know he's good looking, (obviously I don't find him attractive, but I've been on enough bar crawls with him to know that girls go nuts over him,) but currently he just looks feral.**

'**God Dan, behave yaself.' I scold him.**

**And he actually has the cheek to send me a sheepish smile. 'Sorry little sister, ain't no one as pretty as you. ain't seen nothing like ya this side of Gundagai' he answers. (this is a lie, (Gundagai is a small Australian town in the middle of nowhere where he lost his virginity to a girl who was much too old for him at the time in an apple orchid) anyway, it's a lie because he always teases me for being ugly, he managed to get all the dark features, dark eyes and hair, and yeah his skin tans in the sun, it must be that abbo blood, he's one generation closer and is darker, me I'm white and freckly with red hair and he always says I look like a pigs arse when ever I burn, so basically, him trying to tell me I'm not ugly really makes me nervous, because it most defiantly means he wants something.**

'**Ben?' I ask, because I think I might have missed something.**

**Ben shrugs 'look like a damn saint to me'**

**I roll my eyes and slap him because he's not helping 'I don't know what he wants' Ben answers in a whiney voice.**

**Dan sighs and actually looks sad 'just thinkin' I could stay with ye tonight... hate bein' there, it's so quiet'**

**I think about hugging him because he looks so sad, but I've got enough of his blood on me anyway and mister Arthur walks back in and donks Dan on the head with his walking stick, when Dan looks back to those girls and says he's lonely, player he is... Mister Arthur tells me I should probably go clean the back seat, so Ben and I steal a few cups of water and a bunch of hand towels and we go clean the seat, well I clean it, Ben leans against the car smoking, only he's not he's just watching it burn out and rolling it around his fingers (he's supposed to be quitting) and he talks about a bunch of stuff, like how we can pull out the sofa bed for a couple of days or however long it takes, and how we can probably make the dodgy hot water stretch enough for three people, and then he talks a bit about his band, and mentions 'the story' which is this story, and we argue about whether these two should have angry sex or the happy kind, when they actually get to it (he helps me write... or come up with ideas) his deal is that as long as were writing a sex book its fun, (and yeah I get random messages during the day that say something like 'hey I was sittin' in the car faggin' off and thinkin' it be real good if you were here **** then I was thinkin' Daryl should cream himself, coz hell I would if I was waitin' that long' so yes you're welcome (he disapproves of me telling yous all this) the car scene you owe to him...just like most of the intimate scenes in the story. Anyway some lady looks at us and shakes her head, and then we head back in and those two girls were actually sitting with Dan, and I'm a little shocked and mister Arthur reckons that means he's going to be ok.**

**When we get back in the nurse calls us in and he's disappointed to leave the girls I tell him to shut up and move and he replies with 'aww come on my neice (this means he really wants something and is trying to over rule me), its saint paddys'**

'**it's not saint paddys' I argue**

'**yeah well I'm drunk... and when you're drunk your i..'**

'**Irish as shit we know' Ben continues**

'**yeah that's right and st pattys our patron saint you know, so anytime your drunk...**

'**we know its saint paddys' I mumble**

'**right you are little sister,' he pauses 'fuck ya look like ya ma...'**

'**is it my pissed face?' I ask with little humour**

'**looks better on you, always has, down right scary, but you love me, ad you're not pissed with me, ya just mad coz ya love me little sister'**

**I roll my eyes because that's pretty much how the rest of the hospital visit went, his leg was fine by the way, its got sixteen stitches.**

**Anyway, he gets all patched up and he's disappointed when the nurse cleans up his arm and accidently rubs off ruby's number (ruby is apparently the chick with the handbag) so we drop mister Arthur home after buying him dinner and Ben goes in and packs him some stuff, and I have to sit in the car listening to his crap about the day before his wedding, and his first date, (I've heard it all before) he then gives me a pretty detailed explanation about how many times he's wanked himself in the last week, but I'm too busy plating candy crush to realize what he's talking about until it's too late and I've heard way too much. He doesn't mention the kids, so I don't, but I know that's the real problem.**

**Anyway after that we run into the produce store to get dog biscuits on the way home. **

**This is where it gets funny**

**The biscuits are heavy, and I'm feeling lazy so I drag Ben in to help me and we think dans gonna be fine on his own right? So we get talking to Phil (the new owner) and then his wife taps me on the shoulder and is like 'when you leave, just go out the back... there's a mental patient by the front, I've called the police, but just to be safe...'**

'**A mental patient?' I ask, because I'm a little surprised.**

'**Yes with an Italian flag' she tells me.**

'**Italian you say?' bed chuckles 'sure its Italian?'**

**She looks at him like that really matters. 'Yeah green and orange and white'**

'**it's an Irish flag' he corrects her, as I leave to go and see what this mental patient is doing. **

**So there he is sitting on a bale of hay with his stupid hospital gown and carrying his bloodied flag and talking to the budgies and he's saying something like...**

'**hey girls... I had myself a nice little bird once... think she's gonna divorce my ass though... you are pretty little birds though, bout the prettiest I've ever seen... ' and he's high as on the painkillers and still drunk and he's smushing his lips against the cage trying to pash the poor birds. And then two coppa's walk in and James (one of the cops stops to pull his phone from his pocket and he takes a photo and smirks at me and says something about paying him back for those photos from last Christmas, 'Yeah this shits gonna be all over facebook' he laughs.**

**And finally that sight has me in a fit of laughter, Ben comes over and he laughs so hard that he actually drops the dog biscuits, and Dan whines when the coppas help him into our car, and he doesn't stop whining the whole way home that I wouldn't buy him the pretty little bird.**

**So yeah he's moving in with us for a bit, I'm sure there will be many more Dan stories to come, and I know I really shouldn't be so amused by this, but hell why not, it's good to have a gander at yourself and your dumbass family on st paddys day. :D**

**Hope you enjoyed my screwed up life lol.**

**Also no offence in this to anyone of any race or religious dominion, I know the aussie in us lends us to sound pretty darn antagonistic sometimes, but really, I don't care what you look like or your beliefs are, I like everyone... unless you're like a bad person, then ill hate you lol.**


	50. Sumfin's happend to Slayer

**A/N Big apologies to those who think the burn is too slow, but things are moving along, in their relationship, it's just not always about doing the deed, but I hope the emotional bond is expressing that its getting deeper, and also how much they are changing, Beth is getting rougher, and more dominant in her actions, shes changing from a sweet girl to a strong woman, and, Daryl in turn is able to soften and become more playfull and comfortable in himself. **

**Also these chapters are allot more about the relationship they are both forming with Jakob as well as Dale and Elizabeth and various other members of the group, it all is relevant to the 'move'. Yes they will be leaving this place in about a week's worth of updates. :D anyway, yes things will be mixing up soon. Again apologies to those who really hate the slooooowwww burn, it is meant to be getting to a point where it just feels ridiculously long.**

**Also not sure if I told you's yesterday that I put up the Daryls dozen secrets, or beths, the matching one anyway, so pop across and have a squiz :D**

Beth leaned up and rubbed the _six_ off replacing it with a _seven_, and then wiped away at the _Friday_ and replaced it with _Saturday._ She glanced down at the book and wrote the names of those who would take the watchtower shifts. _Billy, Henry, Thomas, Daryl, Adam_. She wrote them next to their respective timeslots, glancing back to the book and sighed as she wrote her name and_ Judy_, along with _Anne_ and _Cheryl_ near the dinner sign and breakfast the next morning, _Lucy, Elizabeth_ and _Anne_ again.

The whiteboard was Daryl's idea, well actually Glens, back at the prison, it kept them organized, knowing who was where, people could sign out if they wanted to go for a walk and that way if they took too long a search party could be sent after them, and if you were in a rush to find someone, without cell phones now it could be difficult, at least if they were hiding in some corner on a job, you'd have an idea of where they were.

Daryl was watching her again, he was always watching her, there was something about her that was just captivating. He watched as that James boy came up and spoke to her, it annoyed him, James sort of liked her, he was always watching her too, when Daryl was not looking. He'd mentioned it to James once when they swapped shifts, just a quick mumble as he took the first step down the ladder of the watchtower, _Hey boy, ya better stop lookin' at Beth like ya do... she ain't your ta look at, _he'd told him, and James had given him an embarrassed half nod, and since then he'd not spent so much time trying to talk to Beth, at least he was respectful.

Beth nodded and pat the boy, _who was probably older than her, Daryl thought sourly_, on the shoulder before he left, she stretched up on her tippy toes trying to reach the top line on the whiteboard. Daryl looked to it, it said _on run:_ she wasn't quiet tall enough, she inched the marker as far as she could from her fingers. Daryl couldn't help the smile as he watched, her t-shirt lifting above the line of her jeans and exposing the white flesh of her back, he glanced around and put down the forks that he had volunteered to dry. No one seemed to be around, there were a few people in the distance, but no once close, Daryl stalked deeper into the tent, she jumped when his hands rested on her hips.

'Skittish huh?' he asked, and he could see she was grinning by the way the side of her cheek rounded. He lifted her, and she let out a little squeak of surprise before she caught on and wrote the list of names that were going on the run. She clicked the lid on the marker and put her hands over Daryl's and he lowered her. Just as well because his arms were aching a little holding her up, she might be tiny but she was heavy. He didn't seem willing to let go though, his hands stayed firm on her hips and she even leaned back a little. 'Sat'day taday.' He offered and that made Beth crinkle her brow.

Daryl laid a hot kiss on her neck, as she tried to talk. 'What's that mean?' She questioned.

'Last night was Friday.' He was looking over her shoulder now and saw the little blush at the mention of last night.

She tried to concentrate, but he started massaging her hips, she bit back a sigh. 'What days Friday?'

He thought about teasing her for the question, saying something about how he loved that he could get her brain so unscrewed so easily, but he understood it well enough, so he shrugged lightly. 'We went 'n watched a movie... Friday 'fore that we made out in a car, one 'fore that ya just sat there talking while I smoked, one 'fore that you found that pretty lil' summer dress... normal things.' He commented.

Beth giggled, she really liked this teasing Daryl, he'd obviously decided to give her a hickey or something because he was sucking and biting on her neck and it felt a little painful but mostly fun, she leant back further into him. 'What is this Daryl?'

'Hmm?'He questioned as she felt one of his hands come around her hip and dropped a little lower than was really appropriate, but she didn't care, no one would see it, unless they could see through the whiteboard.

'You're different...'

'Ok?' Daryl worried.

Beth nodded. 'Yeah, you just don't do this... in the light, I like it... Anyway...Fridays... Your point?' She questioned, although words were pretty hard right now. He pulled of her neck and gave it a gentle kiss.

Daryl knew what she meant by; _different_, he had only one explanation, because yeah he knew it was strange, but he wasn't willing to stop. 'Just that... Ya love me.' He really needed to work on rearranging that sentence, but he was still having trouble believing it was a possibility, one day soon he'd realize it was a fact, and then he'd formulate an answer for it. He felt Beth nod and he sniffed pushing down the urge to literally crush her into him so that she actually became a part of him. 'Friday seems to be the day we do normal stuff...maybe we should make it a thing?' he asked.

His hand slipped a little lower and the other one, wrapped around her ribs, he wasn't really doing much, just holding her to him. 'That'd be fun... like something we could look forward to...normal Friday nights.' Beth agreed.

He squeezed his lower hand a little, and grinned at the little sigh of pleasure Beth gave. 'Maybe we could make it freaky Fridays?' He suggested, as he pushed his hips into her, lacking anything that really made a point but hoping she got it anyway.

She laughed at that. 'Daryl you have to stop...'

'He pulled of her neck again and tried to snake his head around enough to really look at her. 'Ya really want me to?'

She dropped her eyes. 'Daryl people might see!'

He chuckled at that a little, he'd already taken a look around, but she was right, he'd stop as soon as he was done teasing her. 'Glen and Maggie ain't never worried about that, don' see why we should.' He did flinch at that because the thought of anyone catching him in such an intimate moment with her did redden his cheeks.

'Daryl!'

He swallowed his embarrassment. 'Just sayin', dun' know how many times I walked in on them... or out, coz they was mostly public.' He answered as he latched on to her neck again.

'Daryl...Daryl stop it...Daryl!' She tried a harsher tone, but it didn't hide her giggle. 'Daryl stop now...get of me Daryl.' That one sounded firmer, although he didn't miss the huff of air at the end, that sounded all too like a baby laugh escaping. He ignored her moving his hand from her crutch to her breast and squeezed it gently. 'You're such a pig Daryl, get of me!' She was trying to sound really stern now, and it was pretty convincing, although he could still feel her leaning back into him.

'Why don't ya leave the girl alone.' Came the voice from behind them, Beth felt Daryl jump, and his fingers dug into her painfully as they both paused, before Daryl finally moved taking a step back.

He turned to eye the man... his jaw clenching and unclenching. It was Adam, he could have guessed really, wondering where the guy had suddenly appeared from. Daryl decided he must've been a hunter before this, not the animal kind, maybe some sort of Police detective, perhaps a hit man, probably more of a cop sort of guy, but he was light on his feet and seemed to be the only one that managed to sneak up on Daryl. Daryl had had enough of the guy already, he'd been dropping comments and sending him dirty looks, since they arrived. Sure he knew the bastard was probably right but it wasn't his place to say. 'Look man; don't go tellin' me what ta do with my own girl.' And he was aware he sounded a little too defensive.

Adam looked past Daryl to Beth. 'Ya ok?'

Beth nodded looking confused but didn't manage words, mostly because she was wondering what was going on.

Daryl turned back around and his face looked a little too harsh 'Tell him Beth!'

Beth jumped slightly at Daryl's voice, he sounded so angry. 'Yeah... no I'm fine... I mean he's ok, thank you.' She smiled to the other man who had a deep set scowl on his face.

He opened his mouth to say something but was distracted by the yelling, Beth noticed blobs of people in the distance, as they left their various lazy stances to run across the oval.

Her ears strained to make sense through the shouting, but there was one thing that she heard clearly. 'DADDY!' came the muffled scream, before it had even fully registered Daryl had launched towards the noise, Beth closely behind, her mind empty of anything Adam was going to say, just following Daryl as she heard Jakob's voice sobbing and pleading.

Daryl's heart thumped in his chest, his legs wouldn't move fast enough, he felt like he was in a dream where he was running but not going anywhere, only he was, he caught sight of Jakob, his body being dragged kicking and screaming, mask haphazardly tossed to the side. He saw the walker mixed up in the fence line and his heart ached, maybe he had been bit? Where the fuck was Slayer? He scanned through the group and saw the dog laying on the ground, blood smeared around his face, his eyes snapped back to Jakob who was watching the dog screaming incoherent words that almost sounded something like, 'Don't hurt him!'

Suddenly he was there and he understood, he didn't know what happened, but he saw the man's gun trained on the dog while someone else held him down, and Daryl didn't care what the reason was, apparently Jakob was trying to save the damn mutt, that was enough for him to ignore the blood that dripped from the dogs fur. No one was hurting that damn dog, he barrelled into the man, knocking him sideways, sending the bullet shooting into the ground.

Slayer yelped and that was all Daryl heard before someone's fist pounded against his face, it became a scurry of swinging arms and kicks and brutal blows leaving his head bouncing around his neck, as he tried to protect his face. He vaguely saw Jakob, hurtling for the dog, falling to his knees and leaning over the dog hugging him, but it did nothing to ease his mind because he couldn't tell if Slayer was moving or not, and Beth was there, yelling at someone who was trying to drag her away, someone else was pulling at Jakob again, and she looked frightened, and another blow to his face and that was it, he wasn't putting up with this shit no more.

Daryl knocked the man down, spat out the blood that was pooling in his mouth and climbed onto of the guy lifting him by his shirt and hit him, _once... twice, three times_, that should get the man's attention? No the guy reached up and tried to strangle him. 'Fuck that.' Daryl spat.

He felt his fist split open at the impact, but he didn't care he tried _again, and again_ _and a sixth time,_ and then he was weightless dragged away from the man, he blinked around. Slayer was standing, thank god he was ok, because really Jakob loved that dog, and it'd kill him if anything happened to him. Hell Daryl probably loved the dog. Jakob was crouched on the ground trying to breathe, but managing, and Beth was trying to hit the guy that was holding her and the walker was still groaning, half his scalp torn of, but not dead yet, obviously Slayer had miss aimed, and then there was blood on the ground, allot of it, he looked up in that direction and saw the two women carrying the boy rushing towards Elizabeth's RV and none of it made any sense. _Had the walker gone for the boy? Why was Slayer not able to take him out? Why did everyone seem hell bent on shooting the dog?_

Slayer was hovering around Jakob teeth barred and hackles up, the man that had dragged Jakob away relinquished the boy and stepped back, weary of the dog. And there was all that blood on his mouth? Daryl stopped struggling and realized Dale was the one that had managed to pull him off?... He looked to the man who was sitting only slightly, it was Tom... yeah that little Kyle kid's dad. Daryl looked back to the woman with the injured child, that was Kyle. Daryl shrugged out of Dale's arms and Dale let him, he stood, shaking himself of a little, trying to put one coherent thought together.

'What the fuck happened Jake?' He flinched at himself for that, it was far too harsh, he could see the tears brimming in Jakes eyes and following the tracs made by the ones before them down his little face.

Jakob was still breathing hard, but he was ok, Daryl could see by the way he was glaring at Tom, Jakob's vision shot to Daryl and he stood and shook himself of in much the same way Daryl just did. 'Slayer...'

'What?' Daryl snapped, he didn't have to explain or apologize for his tone, not to Jakob, he just knew.

'He bit Kyle...'

Whoever was holding Beth had let her go and she was rushing to Jakob, on her knees hugging him, checking him over, but he looked cold and limp in her arms, refusing to acknowledge her.

'Nearly took his whole damn arm off.' Tom bellowed. 'That dogs got to be put down it ain't safe ta have with kids!'

Daryl glanced to the blood patch on the ground and could see it himself, the dog had gone mad, there was allot of blood. He looked to the man and dropped his gaze, because he was probably right, if that was true he couldn't stay, he swallowed hard.

'That true Jake?' He asked and he felt his heart sink when Jakob nodded.

He looked back to Slayer and he could see the bright live blood smeared all over him, could see him shaking still from the adrenalin, and he wondered why he was doing that, because nothing shook that dog except the damn cold, it was a fucking sook in the cold, but it was a god damned warrior and he hadn't seen it pumped like that before. 'Can't let ya do it...he's my dog.' Daryl answered, hanging his head low. And he crossed to pick up the gun and called the dog over.

Daryl looked at the faithful dog sitting by his feet and it looked up at him trustingly a little nervous at the others, but his eye kept darting back to him. 'We don't do that to the living boy...' And he reached down to pat the dogs head, one final time as he picked the discarded revolver up with his other hand and stood again. His jaw clenching and his eyes stinging a little, _it's just a damn dog_ he told himself, but he couldn't make himself believe that, he tried to pull the trigger, he knew if it had attacked the living... a child it had to be done, but his finger wouldn't work, he couldn't pull that trigger if he tried, not while it was aimed at that damn dog. He re-gripped the gun, his palm sweaty, panaking, because really he knew he couldn't do it... he wouldn't.

He was thinking about how he was going to get the four of them out of this situation, he briefly glanced to Dale wondering if the man knew how to help, he looked back to Slayer, the gun still trained on him, when he heard the relieving words.

'Don't.' James voice chimed in. Daryl barley registered it before he looked back to Slayer.

Suddenly Jakob was standing in front of the dog, a determined scowl on his face 'I won't let you!' He answered, 'He saved me.' Jakob explained, and the realization hit Daryl, he looked back to the walker and saw the torn piece of Jakobs shirt hooked to the fence, Jakob's arm sporting little darkened spots that were the beginning of bruises. It made sense.

Grant a tall man that had always been nice to Jakob stepped in. 'He can't just go around attacking people, sometimes dogs do that...it isn't safe, when they turn like that.'

'He had too.' Jakob answered leaving no room for argument.

Grant bent down and tried to reason with the boy .'There's never a reason to do that.'

Daryl took a deep breath because there was one hell of a good reason, and he suddenly understood perfectly what it was. 'Why don't you go ahead, tell everyone why?' Daryl suggested it only because he needed everyone to know what he already figured out.

'Kyle was hurting me.' Jakob answered flatly, and really it wasn't that hard to believe, Kyle was a few years older and twice the size, and had been bullying every kid in the camp.

'My kid ain't do nothing ta deserve that.' Tom nodded back to his son, who was now being carried to the kitchen area.

Jakob stood a little straighter and took his knife from its sheath and Daryl thought for a moment he might have been a little untethered, but the boy looked back to the walker before glaring Tom down. 'I ain't lying... You hurt my dog, and I swear to god I will bolt you down where you stand!' The boys voice was so flat and determined, and thick with emotion. And even though Daryl knew it was an empty threat, because really Jakob didn't know how to use the bow, it still sent a shiver up his own back, because somehow he believed the child would find a way. Somehow he knew it was more than Jakob repeating a threat that he had learnt from Daryl. Somehow he didn't sound like a child at all, but a man who knew what he wanted, and who was going to make it happen.

With that said Jakob stepped over to the walker and stabbed its head, as if proving he could kill, before slicking his knife along his jeans, cleaning it, and glaring them all down, Daryl and Beth included. He sniffed, almost an exact imitation of Daryl when he was pushing his emotions down, and crossed back to Slayer, slipping his hand in his collar, and walking close enough to Tom that Daryl seriously feared for the man.

Jakob leant in a little so he was at eye level with the man who still sat on the ground, nursing the face Daryl had just busted. 'We...' He looked to Slayer and then back to Tom, 'We ain't no fuckin' walker bait neither!' And then he pulled his fumes mask up, fixing it over his face again and walked off towards the RV, pulling his dog along with him.

Daryl almost felt a well of pride in him, only he didn't because it pained him that Jakob had to act like that at all. He heard Dales voice break into his conflicting thoughts. 'Kids got balls.' it was a voice of surprise, because really Daryl was the only one who knew Jakob could be that harsh, he'd seen it when they were out alone hunting, sure everyone thought the kid was sweet and innocent, but Daryl knew full well that he could be just like himself. He looked to Beth and flicked his eyes to Jakob, and she seemed to understand, it only took a moment for her to take a unsure step in that direction, then another, and then she was off running after him, Grant following.

Finally Bill who seemed to be the sensible man of the group, the one who was somewhat the leader before Daryl had decided to practically take over with Dale, spoke up. 'Did anyone actually see it?'

James stepped forward, and it seemed every eye seemed to turn on him. 'I was trying to get over here, and stop him...Kyle, he was...' He sparred a look back to Tom who had now stood. 'He had Jakob in a head lock holding his arm out to the walker.'

Tom frowned and wiped the blood away from his face. 'Glad he ain't hurt Jake... but that damn dog can't mawl him and get away with it.'

James frowned at that. 'He wasn't playing, Tom... Kyle wasn't playing, or bullying, what he did, that's not right, and that dog knocked him down, twice while Jakob tried to get away, tried to take out the walker first, I mean I was tryna get over here, but that dog did all it could to buy its time, before he latched on to ya boys arm!' James sounded a annoyed that the man would brush it of so easily, he looked back to Daryl. 'You have no idea how close he came.'

Daryl nodded, grateful to the man for the clarification, and yet resenting the fact that it was James of all people standing up for Slayer. He took a deep breath, because really if that walker wasn't dead already he'd probably drag it over and throw it at Kyle, or maybe at Tom for teaching him that it was ok.

Daryl stepped towards Tom, knocking Dale slightly out the way, still angry and unforgiving. 'You tell your boy... to stay away from mine, he touches him again, he even speaks to him 'gen and I'll rip his other arm off!' Daryl was still seething with anger but he tried to hold it in. 'N' you touch my dog, and Jakes gonna be the least of your problems, ya hurt him at all, and I'll help Jake bolt ya down.' Daryl stepped closer to him and got right up in his face, and addressed the more pressing issue. 'And I hear anyone call my boy WalkerBait...' Daryl outlined each word with a jab to the man's chest before stepping back a little, 'I hear ya callin' any kid WalkerBait 'gen, and you'll be wishin' that the fuckin' walkers were your biggest problem... he _is_ my boy. Get that straight in ya head, and you tell your boy that.'

Daryl stepped back then because really his point was clear enough, and really it was all unnecessary because his words didn't seem half as threatening as Jakes...

'Best go check your son, 'stead u hangin' 'round here like u' bad smell.' Daryl advised as he turned to check on his own, who by the way needed a talking to about his language, although maybe it was just learnt and Daryl should consider trying to take it down a bit he thought.

'They won't be your only problem! Hurt my boys and I'll be after you too.' Dale added before following Daryl over to check on Jakob. He vaguely heard Bill telling the group to leave it be for a while, that the dog was doing its job, and it had earned its place, and if anyone harmed it, the same rules apply as it does for a human, they'd be out on their own.

Dale turned his attention back to Daryl who was muttering about getting pussy whipped by a seven year old. 'No smoking, no swearing, no fucking s.. shit, god damn it... fuck head!' Daryl slammed the palm of his fist to his forehead. 'Oh for Christs sake...' He couldn't hold back the swearing at all when he was angry, despite his desperate attempts.

'Daryl!' Dale called after him. 'Daryl...'

Daryl stopped dead and allowed the older man to catch up, he rested his hand on Daryl's shoulder and it was all he could do not to shake it off, Dale seemed to feel him tense and removed his hand 'That boy... he's brave...'

Daryl turned to look at him 'Yeah so?'

Dale scanned him up and down. 'I know he's mad... know he was protecting Slayer... ' He shifted on his feet. 'Ain't no kid meant to be that angry, you keep your eye on him Daryl.'

Daryl thought about rebutting that, telling the man to mind his own business, saying that his boy could say whatever he wanted to, but somewhere in him he worried too.

'He doesn't have to be like that...like us...' Dale looked him square in the eyes. 'You see how he pushed Beth away?'

Daryl shook his head because no he saw Jakob standing there cold and unresponsive, but he hands seen him push her away.

'Don't you let him do that.' Dale advised and Daryl nodded, because really he knew Dale was right.

'What's say you check on that kids arm yeah?' Daryl suggested, because really the kid might have been a shit but he didn't want him to die or anything, he was still just a kid, with crappy attitudes inherited, but still just a kid.

Dale smiled softly. 'You're a good man Daryl... Jakes gonna copy everything you do, they're like sponges at that age...just make it count ok.'

Daryl nodded at the advice, and took a deep breath, forcing his anger down, and stepped back to turn away, but brought his hand up to the man's shoulder in a grateful clap, before turning and heading towards Jakob.

**A/N ahh so, hope you guys liked this... I actually had so much fun writing this chapter. :D**

**Please review!**

**ONLY READ IF YOURE INTERESTED.**

**Dan Update:**

**He 'ssitting at the table nursing his leg while I make his favourite soup for lunch. My phone buzzes and because he's a nosey bastard he picks it up and reads the message. Its Ben who is saying to go and check James's facebook because it's just hilarious, and then the rest is pretty personal and has Daniel is trying to scoop his eyes out with a spoon after reading it, and I just laugh at him and tell him he shouldn't have read my messages.**

'**I don't know how I'm going to live with this...' he's referring to living with us.**

'**You don't? Ye think I wanna live with you?' I argue.**

**He snorts and then flips the cards and decides to play nice. 'can't live without me'**

**I think about arguing that, but I simply nod, and decided to get the wet sponge and hurtle it at his face, it drops to the table and he rolls his eyes.**

'**Ok I'm sorry, so I was just thinking, can we get pay TV?' which was the reason he decided to be nicer.**

**I shrug, 'If you pay for it'**

'**I'm broke'**

'**Then no'**

'**pleeease...' he's about to go on a big spiel but then his own phone buzzes and he picks it up 'Oh its Ben he's tagged me in something...' **

**Oh yea I quickly flick the stove off to watch this, because it's going to be hilarious. He clicks the link and I cross to lean on his shoulders and watch it with him, James (James is the copper (also our mate) from yesterday) profile pops up and it's a video that he's called 'Best job ever got a call out to a mental patient, turns out to be my mate and he thinks its st paddys again... love this kid!'**

**I can tell Dan still hasn't registered its him and he presses play and comments that he loves James stories... and then I feel his shoulders stiffen and I can see his eyes in the reflection of the phone narrowing. And it's too unbelievable to think it's him but he knows one thing 'that's my flag?'**

'**that's your sorry arse too' I laugh**

**He watches the rest of the video in horror. 'What was I doing?'**

'**Picking up some birds!' I explain, as if it were at all normal.**

'**Birds?... oh birds... I get it...why?'**

**I shrug 'It was st paddys'**

'**Oh' that's all he has to say on the topic just oh, I serve his lunch and he's just in a daze reading all the comments and I think I might have to end up spoon feeding him if I want him to eat and he finally adds 'how many times have I had st paddys this month?'**

'**Four' I answer.**

'**Four?'**

'**Yes and you've been a real blaggard to poor miss Mary, and I think you owe mister Arthur an apology, and you better be planning on helping around here because I'm not carrying ye sorry arse for the next god knows how many months.'**

'**What did I do to miss marry?'**

'**made reference to her rebel, giving head in the confessional days and told her she should go count her rosaries or something' His eyes widen and he looks genuinely sorry and kind of blushes. 'At least it made mister Arthurs day, he reckoned he's wanted to say that for years every time she scorns him with her...scorn' **

'**I think vaguely was I naked?'**

'**Yes and ye pissed on mister A's roses'**

'**Really? He loves those... did I really?' I nod and he looks genuinely scared at that 'he's gonna clip my ears 'till I'm bleedin' huh!' he decidedes to push that thought away in favour of lazily slurping at his soup and watching the video again. 'Ya know, if this wasn't me, this would be pretty funny... ain't funny that you're so merry 'bout it though' he comments as he can hear my laughing in the background. 'Probably should lay of the black stuff though... four paddys days ye say?... yah that's a little too many.'**

'**Right you are! Big brother!' I pinch his cheek and tease him with his favourite condescending phrase to me, he just slaps me away and watches the video and comments that he can see Ben tagging like five people every time it refreshes... and he looks like he's panicking, and it's hilarious!**

**So yeah now he's moping around all embarrassed and after the fifth text that said something like 'heard ya picked up some nice Birds on st paddys bro' he turned his phone of and now he's taking a kip on the couch and feeling pretty sorry for himself, and he's already decided when he wakes up he has to think about how to apologize to Mister A, who you can bet your bottom dollar that he's gonna make it really hard for him!**


	51. Somethin in the gaurd tower makes chatty

**A/N Firstly just want to say a special thank you to BETHYLNUTS and NERDWALKER. Neither of you did anything special, but you are both loyal reviewers, and I just wanted to say a big thank you for always complimenting me, I don't know why, the two of you are just bouncing around in my head is all. :D**

**Anyway here's for a bit of mindless good feels, fluffy stuff, but don't get too excited, no make out scene. :D**

The van was lonely tonight, it always was when Daryl was gone and Jakob was asleep. Beth used to be able to spend hours on her own enjoying it, but that's the thing about living so close with people after a while you seem to grow accustomed to it, and you don't know how to be without them. She sat on her side of the bed and pulled her diary out, but nothing came, she put it back and only then noticed the small flower on her shelf, she picked it up and fingered it lightly, it was a weed to be honest, but it was still beautiful, she decided to press it onto the pages of her diary before folding it away, she looked back between the cracks in the curtain at Jakob and smiled, he at least looked peaceful when he slept.

She stood with a sigh and stuffed her boots on, and grabbed her knife, before scratching Slayers ear as she walked by closing the door behind her. She made way to Elizabeth's van and knocked on the door, there was a little shuffle and then she heard Dales voice. 'Who is it?'

'Just me.' She replied and the door swung open, she looked up at them shivering lightly in the cold wind. 'I was just wondering if it's not too late, could you watch Jake for me?'

'Is everything ok?' Elizabeth worried, but the way she stepped forward showed it was an instant yes.

Beth nodded. 'Yeah... he's just sleeping and I don't want to be alone.' She answered honestly. 'I thought I might go and see Daryl.' Elizabeth stepped down from the RV smiling, or maybe she was smirking.

She looked back into Dale. 'Grab the cards, and your pillow.' she told him before giving Beth a little hug. 'We can stay all night, you go have fun.' Elizabeth winked.

Beth wiped her fringe from her face and blushed at that. 'Oh no I didn't mean...were not..I'

'Sorry Beth.' Elizabeth frowned, Beth's reaction was far too embarrassed. 'Thought you meant...'

'No... but it would be nice if you could stay... back at the prison, I used to be up early with Judith and I used to climb up and we'd watch the sunrise together... that would be nice... you know just to do that again' Beth remembered.

Beth's simple recount told Elizabeth that there were things weighing on her mind, and the older woman made a mental note to talk about it later. Dale stepped out of the van, with a Wilbur Smith novel, a pack of cards, a few various other items and a big blanket which he handed to Beth. Beth smiled at the man in his blue and white striped pyjamas, and she was so grateful to have these two people in her life because it felt like family. It didn't make her miss her own family any less but, it was nice to have them.

'Ready... Bein' dragged out in the middle of the night so you kids can go bury the bone...' He grumbled.

'Dale!' Elizabeth scolded him with a slap to his chest as they made way for Beth's RV.

'What?' He smirked at her. 'Maybe we can have some Hanky Panky of our own.' Elizabeth tried to look annoyed at him which made Beth smile. She crossed with them back to the van where she asked about Kyle's arm, Elizabeth engaged her for a few moments before sending her on her way.

Beth hugged the blanket into her as she crossed the oval, the watchtower getting bigger and bigger, she jumped when the arrow hit the ground a few feet in front of her, she looked at it warily before looking to the top of the tower in confusion, it was too dark to see anything, she bent down and picked it up. 'You want me to go?' She asked, sounding confused, her voice loud enough to echo up the tower, but still quiet.

'Read it dumbass.' Came the gruff response, what did she really think he'd warn her off with an arrow?

She looked at it in her hand before the moonlight caught the lettering that was messily scrawled on the feathers, _stuff?_ She turned to the next feather_, Hi,_ and the third, _hot,_ she rolled it around again, _Hi hot stuff_. She smirked to herself and shook her head before continuing to the tower and climbing up, arrow in hand and blanket slung over her shoulder.

This watch tower was smaller than the one at the prison, and there was no trapdoor, but it was still roomy enough and gave them a pretty clear line of sight, especially when it was a clear night like tonight. Beth settled down next to Daryl, her arm brushing against his as she threw the blanket over their laps.

'Been waiting for ya all night.' Daryl commented. Because after today, and the way Jakob had acted he knew they had to talk, the relief when he saw her crossing finally to Dale's van settled his stomach. 'Judy came for a visit...' He wasn't sure why he told her that, nothing happened of course, well not much Judy rattled on about how sorry she was about Jake and if he needed a listening ear, she'd be there, she'd stepped right into his space and even reached out to toy with his vest, it was uncomfortable because he realized Beth had been right the whole time, it had taken forever for his muscles to work, for him to refuse her, and when he did he nearly shoved her back down the hole she came from as he cursed at her and reminded her he was with Beth. Yeah Beth didn't need the details, it's just that she should know.

'Hmm?'

'Yeah, wanted to tell me ... dun' know actually...' Daryl thought about what he should say, but his mouth continued without his mind. 'She's like me you know... not that we were from the same worlds, but...' Daryl decided that wasn't the best direction for the conversation, he sniffed those thought away and figured he might talk to Dale about that later. 'She's just skeevy... told her to run along before you came up.'

Beth smiled at that, he didn't really have to mention it, but it's nice that he did. 'She better run.' Beth commented, and the humour in her voice was thick. '...She just never gets it.'

Daryl didn't respond, he just hooked his arm around her shoulder. 'Ain't got nut'in ta worry 'bout anyways.'

'I know.' Beth answered simply, because she thought maybe she finally understood that, the woman still annoyed her though. 'You love me.' The statement was simple and it didn't need a response, still his arm flexed around her and she felt the slight squeeze in answer. She smiled and looked up at him, he looked worn today, ever since that incident with Jakob, and she wasn't sure if it was because he was nearly fed to a walker, or because they realized how hard the little boy was. 'You love Jakob more though.' She commented.

Daryl looked down with a slight frown, wondering why she would ask that. 'Nah Beth.'

She leaned into him a little more. 'Yeah you do, it's not just that there's stuff you share with him... you're more open with him... and the other day at the cinema, when we were leaving, you know, that second we ended up on opposite sides of you, you went to him even though he had Slayer, and I had two walkers coming at me... it's ok though... I do too.'

'It's just different... not more.' he commented, and with that he pulled his arm back, stretching his aching back a little against the wall..

'It is... and it should be.' Beth admitted. It wasn't like she was trying to get him to say he loved her more, it was just an observation, and for some reason she had to voice it. 'I think he loves you more than me...maybe_ that's_ not more but different.' And she wasn't making that a competition either, it was really just that she understood that Daryl and Jake got each other.

Daryl frowned again, and reached for her hand, grazing along her thigh as he tried to find it under the blanket , he thought about denying that or rebutting it or something, because it wasn't true, but something told him that she didn't care if it was. 'Dun' really matter Beth, s'all enough in'it?'

Beth nodded. 'Yeah it's just strange for you that's all... sometimes I feel a little bit jealous, but mostly I'm just happy.' She laughed softly at Daryl's confused face. '...You don't always know how to be with me like this, some days it's really annoying... but you've always known how to be with Jake.' She explained.

Daryl squeezed her hand a little, wondering what he'd done this time. 'Am I doin' it wrong again?'

'No.' Beth smiled softly leaning into him again. 'You're doing it all perfectly, I just mean, you know with Jake because... he's the same as you... he _is_ you, you and me are different, wired different... exact opposites, but we still need each other.'

Daryl really didn't like the sound of this; she sounded unsure, maybe hurt? He cupped her cheek and pressed his lips to her temple, he knew it lasted long enough to go past tender and just seem a little uncomfortable, but he didn't care. 'Givin' ya all I got Beth.' He told her honestly, and he kissed the forced little smile of her lips, and Beth frowned because the way he did it seemed so raw and painful. 'Ain't got no more.' It was an honest answer, and maybe a plea that this was enough.

Beth shifted again, the cold air wafting under the blankets. 'I know, I'm not asking for more Daryl...'

'Then what are ya asking for?' And the question was genuine because really he had no idea.

Beth shrugged 'Nothing, I was just talking Daryl... you _are _enough, I was just saying...' She smiled squeezing the hand she held. 'Jake is different with you, I like it, I like how you can just speak to his soul, you both left today so worried and he was angry and when you came back Jake seemed happy and easy again. Just not you, you still seemed... angry, and not about Kyle, not about anything really it's just in you... and it makes me sad because Jakes just like you, but you can take that away from him, you know what to say or do... I had hoped maybe Dale could do that for you... like Rick and my dad used to...I just wished you had someone.'

'Din' know I was.' Daryl answered, because really he didn't know he was being like that, but if Beth said he was, then it was probably true, he was so damn used to the feeling that he didn't notice it most of the time. 'I got you anyway.'

'Yeah you always have me.' Beth smiled knowingly.

Daryl sniffed and wiped at his chin hairs, thinking about what she was trying to say, and it occurred to him she might be telling him that she doesn't know what to do to make him not angry, he thought about it, before confessing. 'Didn' say much to him, Just hugged him 'till he stopped fightin' me, sometimes that's all it is, sometimes ya wanna fight and curse... maybe he was scared, maybe he was angry, dun' matter why...'Daryl paused before deciding to go ahead and tell her 'End a' the day, ya always think it's just you...that's all it's ever been.' Daryl shifted, the base of his back throbbing again, he took in another deep breath. 'Think ya just so used to bein' alone, feels easier, even when ya got someone there... everyone else always hurtin' ya, ya so sure it might happen again, and ya need someone who dun' care if ya kickin' and screamin', they gonna be there, holdin' ya together when ya just wanna fall apart... just holdin' ya till ya can figure out how to shut up, and stop that voice in ya head that tells ya they're gonna leave, or hurt ya, or whatever it is that ya convinced they might do... That's all.'

Beth understood that, grateful that he'd actually told her what he wanted, what he needed, let her in on the secret, that now she knew, she realized she had figured out a long time ago, She linked her arm through his. Neither of them spoke for a long while. Daryl decided to shift , moving his body further away before lying down, using her thigh as a pillow, one hand underneath and his head on top. 'Watch for me?' Beth frowned a little but she found her fingers went to his hair and she couldn't help the gentle circles she rubbed. His eyes dipped shut and he let out a heavy breath. And she understood what he was doing, he just wanted her to hold him, to be there, and for once he was able to tell her that. So that's what she did, just sat there, being there for him, gently scanning the horizon for him while he rested.

When he finally decided to speak it caught her a little off guard. 'I always did Beth...'

'Hmm?' she looked down at him but he wasn't looking at her, his eyes were still closed.

'Wassn't Rick... your dad, it was, but it was always you... I can't remember when it started... can't remember if it was when Judith was born, you took to motherin' her like a duck to water...there was this one night...' Daryl rolled his head to look up at her, and he wondered why the dark and the feel of her gentle hands could make him like this, but he wanted... needed her to know. 'There was this night, you were walkin' around, she was crying, I think she was cutting her first tooth, it was so hot, and I was coming to see if she was ok, I couldn't sleep anyway, thought I might take her, let ya rest for once, but you were there bouncing her, standin' around your cell in those stupid apricot undies and a little singlet, like you owned the damn world... any other kid would'a been grumpy... tired, but you were just lookin' like you won the jackpot... I shouldn'ta been lookin'.' Daryl paused as he felt Beth's nails scratch lightly at his scalp, he smirked at her. 'Couldn't get the look of ya out my head for weeks... wasn't bein' a sick bastard about it...' he shrugged at that, because the fact that she was in his head from that day on was sick to him. 'I was but, ya was what? Sixteen?' That realization made him want to stand up and run, but he didn't he bit his lip long enough to push that away and continue. 'But it wasn't that ya looked like a damn angel, it was how ya looked with her... I knew I was gone right back then, only I think it was 'fore that, maybe even back on the road, only ya was just a kid then... we weren't even really friends then, but there was somethin' in the way you'd pat me shoulder after a close call or something that was... calming...still maybe it was back at the farm even? Didn't think of ya like that then...not once... but it was there... maybe even then, I jus' always...' He searched his mind for another word to replace love, because he knew his lips couldn't speak that yet '...Needed ya.'

Beth let her other arm drift down his chest, and she smiled, she didn't bother looking down at him, because really she knew the moment she caught his eye he'd stop talking, she just let her head lull against the wall. 'Maybe before that?' Beth answered because she understood what he meant, she had felt it too.

'Didn't know ya 'fore the farm...' But then he thought about it, because even if he thinks back as far as the first day, nothing has changed from that day to this, it's gotten stronger but he can't pick a moment, so he supposes it was there from the first. 'Yeah maybe 'fore that... maybe in some other life or sumfin'... anyway, I didn't know it, probly until one morning you climbed up the guard tower with Judith, ya was singin', and I was grumpy as hell at ya... Merle spotted it in 'bout fifteen seconds, n' told me I was whipped... once I knew I didn't couldn't be near ya.'

Beth frowned at that but just continued scanning the fields for walkers. 'Why not?'

She felt Daryl shrug 'Dunno, had ta keep ya safe...'

'From what?'

'From me, I guess, wasn't right... 'case this ended up happening...us.'

Beth smirked at that and she finally looked down. 'How did it then?'

'We got stuck together, had ta walk near ya, eat near ya, piss near ya, sleep near ya, couldn't help it... Then ya was following me around like some lost dog, cryin' about dead people, damn near broke my heart, n I wanted to walk away, but I couldn't, not from you... And then that night in the boot, I realized ya could hold ya own, ya weren't no damn kid no more, n' ya was such a damn happy drunk,' He chuckled at that. 'Think it was when ya flipped ya finger at me, when ya wanted ta go get a drink... asked me if I feel... yeah I was feelin', you made me.' Beth felt his fingers dig into her leg a little. 'Reckon it was right then, that's when I knew it was game over, it was just like that first time that Rick ran off leavin' me on your front porch tellin' me to hold it down there. I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was a beginning, and I couldn't pretend no more... course had ta try and talk myself out of it... was gonna tell ya... after I lost my shit, ya had me so messed up, and I opened up that door, without lookin'.' Beth felt his fingers tighten on her thigh again. 'All I could think about was how right ya were, how much I missed ya when ya were gone, but I screwed up, coulda got ya killed, hated myself for that, gettin' all fucked in the head over a girl... well, over you... and when I found ya... promised myself that ain't ever gonna happen again, I was tryin' real hard ta not let it happen...that's when I knew, one night when ya brought my dinner over to me, I knew it, I knew this was gonna happen, and I couldn't figure out why you were ok with it, coz I was just a redneck, and you're a friggen... princess, but it happened... ain't nothing I can do ta stop it, keep triyn' but I cant... I'm always gonna need ya.'

Beth let her fingers scratch at his chest a little with a wide smile on her face. 'Better not keep tryna stop it Daryl.' She scolded playfully.

He chuckled at that and swivelled his head to kiss her thigh. 'May as well stop tryin', can't anyway.'

Beth smiled, and decided to make her own confession. 'I was waiting for forever, never though all that was going on anyway, but I knew I needed to be near you... I thought you were shacking up with Carol so I didn't say anything, guess maybe I hadn't thought about it, just always thought you were my best friend, and I was grateful enough for that. But I was always waiting, there were a few times back at the prison where I wondered, but, I thought I was just having a stupid teenage crush. I only ever told Chloe... still kept climbing up there and hoping you were gonna do somethin' tho...mostly I did it just because I liked being with you. But then you followed me... when I threw my tantrum to go and find the alcohol, and I just knew you'd always be there... and then when you were going to tell me... you know when you were eating that pigs feet jelly, I was pretty sure then. I knew I at least had a chance... I could let myself believe. And when you broke those damn bowls from kissing me. That's when I decided I wasn't letting you go ever.' Beth stopped to look down at him, because she really wanted to see his face.

'Still dunno know why you were ok with it, should'a kicked my ass for even thinkin' it.' Daryl answered.

'Guess so, but I could never figure out why you wanted this... you're like well your Daryl Dixon the Archer that owns a hundred hearts, and I'm just some girl who isn't much good at anything... you ever see that movie Beauty and the Beast..?'

Daryl frowned because, 'Really?' And he wasn't sure which comment he was asking that about.

Beth laughed 'Was just gonna say, I was so disappointed when he turned back into prince charming... I don't know why, but he lost all his charm, you remind me of him, and I liked him, that's probably why I didn't let you dismiss me, coz I knew even when you were real mean it was just you hurting. So I don't mind, sometimes I even think it makes me happy, coz you're only mean when you want someone to fight back...it's nice that you want me enough.'

'...Sounds like ya sayin' ya like me bein' a redneck prick to ya?' Daryl teased.

'No.' Beth answered as he sat up again. 'Im just saying when daylight rolls around, and you feel like ya can't be this... you know tellin' me how ya feel and just comfortable, I'm still gonna be ok with that, because it's you, the real you.'

Daryl didn't know how to take that, maybe that was complete acceptance; maybe it was her telling him to shut up, either way it didn't feel like a bad thing. 'Been doin' ok with that ain't I, been tryin'?'

Beth thought about that because yeah he was getting much better, and if this morning was anything he was probably getting a little too good. 'Yeah, ya are... really good, I just know how shy you are sometimes...' Beth furrowed her brow because with everything that went on with Jakob she forgot to ask. 'What's going on with Adam?'

Daryl stood and crossed to the other side of the tower, looking out over the forest.

'Daryl?'

'Ain't nothin'.' Daryl answered her, suddenly feeling the need for a fag, if only he hadn't decided to give them up for Jakob.

'Daryl... don't shut me out.' She warned him, and he glanced back at her.

He scanned the horizon again and shrugged. 'Thinks I ain't got no right bein' with ya... pretty sure he thinks I'm makin' ya too, that you're just goin' along with it so I'll protect ya or some shit... Gave me a chat on a run the other day, tellin' me... If I wanna take over 'n run the place, I better not be letting' people think it's ok to pay for protection like that.'

Beth frowned 'What makes him think that about us?'

Daryl huffed. 'Ain't ya got eyes Beth?' His voice was flat and honest. 'Look at me... look at you, it doesn't really make sense. Plus our display for your lady friends, and I think he's catchin' us at the wrong time, or maybe the guy just thinks it's plain wrong, I'd probably beat the crap outta me if I wasn't me and you wasn't you... ain't just that you're young, I mean his girl's 'bout you're age.' Daryl huffed an awkward almost laugh. 'Warned me ta stay away from her more than once... Just think it's men like me... we ain't got no business with your kind... he knows that.'

'My kind?' Beth asked.

'Yeah... you know, sweet and kind... Pure, I ain't got no right to that type.'

'Maybe I should say something?' Beth suggested.

Daryl took one last scan of the field before crossing back to her and sitting down. 'Maybe you should put on a fancy show like I did, make sure they all know it was you pushin' this, that I ain't makin' ya.' He laughed before shaking his head. 'It'll be fine Beth, I'll work it out.'

'It was never that Daryl...' Beth answered, even though he hadn't asked. 'Never thought I owed you... I mean, I wouldn't...' She laughed slightly, but she didn't sound amused. 'I know your strong, and that you can keep me safe, I've always known... but it's never been about what you can do... it's always been _who _you are...'

Daryl turned his head to examine her features, and hell he didn't hide his surprise, because really he had thought, at least back in the beginning when she sought out his friendship it had to be because he could keep her safe, the idea that she had looked at him and wanted to be his friend, for him... that was sweet.

Beth nodded, affirming her words, before changing her line of thought. 'What about Tom?'

Daryl shrugged. 'Think Jake worked that out pretty ok, gonna be talkin' ta him 'bout that language tho... how's Kyle's arm?'

'Elizabeth said he bit his brachial artery, he's fine though, a bit sore, but actually not that bad.' Beth smiled.

'Good.' Daryl's answer was short and he gave Beth that look that said he was done, so she let him kiss her before pulling her to the floor, stretching out his back and holding her against him, both of their eyes scanning the fields in opposite directions, and just holding each other, because she knew that's all he actually wanted.

It wasn't long before the sun was rising, and Daryl made some comment about how her skin was golden in its glow, and how it looked beautiful and how happy he was that he could kiss it, because in all the times they'd sat in a watchtower as the sun rose before and he'd had thoughts about doing this, this was the first time he could. Beth mentioned something about the flower he left her and how sweet it was and wondered if he was the one that had left mysterious flowers on her nightstand back at the prison every time she had an argument with Maggie, and Daryl's sly smile told her it was him, which had her grinning with a new appreciation for him.

Adam had stepped up the ladder catching Daryl with Beth cradled between his legs and his lips against her neck, and gave him a disapproving look, and for the first time Daryl didn't flinch away, he just looked back determined and maybe proud, and made some comment to Beth about how it was too bad that she liked the beast better, because he didn't mind really being a prince, she giggled, appreciating that he wasn't going to argue with Adam about it, not because he felt it was wrong, but because he wanted to please her.

And then they left, because they both wanted to find Jakob ad remind themselves that he was ok, and both of them had the urge to reassert that he wasn't walker bait, because they loved him, more than they loved each other which was a little too much, but it was certainly right.

**A/N Hope you enjoyed their little how they fell in love conversations. :D Please review!**

**Also thank you to Saravi who betad all of the older chapters, I'll be replacing them all tonight, so easy reading** :D


	52. Sumfin' hit me

**A/N Here's for a little bit of a mix up, enjoy. :D**

**Few things Esky is an air tight box that keeps things cool, usually you take it camping with ice in it for like beer and meat and stuff, I don't know if you Americans call them that, and boot is the storage in the back of the car, think yous call it something else, but can't think, will get saravi to fix that when she edits :D**

**Also sorry to... can't remember who it is, but I know it's a regular that hates the reminder of Daryl's missing finger. :D**

Daryl's eyes widened with the sting of the slap, he didn't see it coming, he didn't see _her _coming. He was tinkering with the break line while Jakob sat atop the bike proudly reaching for the handlebars, when the small hand pulled his shoulder till he turned and then she'd slapped him. It was hard enough that it threw him sidewards, and tears stung the eye above the cheek that she slapped, he blinked at the pain before he felt her boot in his ribs, that caused him to gasp and lurch forward, at least he managed to stop a second boot to his stomach, swatting it away with one of his hands, but that seemed to be a bad move, because Beth decided to launch forward throwing all her strength through her arms and into his face, really another person probably would have been too shocked to react, but Daryl acted only on instinct, regretting it immediately, because it made her actions all the more hostile.

With only a few seconds he managed to flip her and still at least one arm, she brought her elbow down to connect with his shoulder which sent pain shrilling down the muscle, and he immediately thought he shouldn't have taught her to fight so well. And maybe it was that or when she brought her knee up to his privates, but either way it was a knee jerk reaction when he brought his hand down on her face.

Yes it stopped her but he regretted it immediately, because he knew it was a little more than a slap, it was too hard and too harsh, he jerked himself backwards scurrying a few feet away. His hand jerked between his shoulder and his crouch, unsure which was more painful, and then he crouched to the ground with a loud groan, because she wasn't coming at him anyway and he thought the pain might actually make him chuck his guts. It took at least a full minute for the pain to subside and that's when he heard her voice.

'I'm sorry Daryl' it was quiet and confusing, when he looked up he saw the tears that were flowing down her cheeks and he vaguely wanted to scoop her up and promise whatever it was he didn't mean it and he was sorry and he'd make it ok, but there was a bigger part of him that was pissed, at her... at himself maybe.

He wiped at his cheek which was throbbing, 'What the fuck Beth?' And as he exhaled he thought his ribs might be a little too tender.

He saw her eyes drop and thought maybe she was going to break apart, and then it seemed people were everywhere, eyes trained on them, he saw Elizabeth cross in front of them and take Jakes hand and the poor boy looked genuinely scared, Daryl tried to nod at him, but Jake just looked back like they'd betrayed him. When Daryl's eyes flicked back to Beth he saw her flicking her arm away from that ever present Adam, oh yeah and then there was fucking Judy's face looking at him like he was a god damn wounded dog.

Beth was standing when she said it, and if he wasn't sitting already he'd have shrunk further. 'Why are you carrying it around? That's sick Daryl.'

Yeah his stomach actually lurched and he felt the vomit rise in his throat but he managed to swallow it back down. 'Shit' was all he managed. But then she was in his face pushing his shoulders roughly.

'What the hell Daryl, you sick bastard, what the fucking hell is that huh?' She shoved him back and he let her because really if she saw _that_ he understood her anger. She attempted to pull him up by his shirt so he was sitting again, but he flopped. 'Why won't you fight me!' She screamed, but he didn't have the will or the strength to. 'Daryl, get up!'

'Beth I din' know!' And with the way she was throwing her arms around he decided to stay where he was and just cover his face.

'What do you mean you didn't know, how can you not know!' He felt a heavy thud over his heart as her fist dropped there and that had him let out an audible groan because it fucking hurt. 'That's so sick, what are you playing at? Gonna set up your own little tank room and lavish in your insanity with freaking walker ears decorating the place?!'

Finally she stopped hitting him and he risked lowering his arms from his face and scrubbed a hand over it, trying to rub away the frustration.

'Wasn't like that Beth, was just tryin ta do the right thing by ya.' She didn't answer but she looked at him now. 'Thought it'd be nice...bury it, you know it ain't too far... the farm?'

Those words seemed to be a heavy realization and Beth finally seemed able to comprehend reason, and she was sorry because she didn't mean to rush over and beat him senseless, she didn't mean to come over, she didn't think at all. it just happened.

Daryl felt her weight relax a little on him, and her legs suddenly felt heavy around his hips. 'Do you know what that was like... seeing that?' And her voice shook almost as much as her shoulders.

Daryl sat up leaning back on his arms closer but not close enough. And he wanted to wrap his arms around her but it didn't seem right. 'Didn' mean for ya too, was just gonna do it, wan' gonna tell ya, just wanted ta know it was done.'

Those words forced her sobs out and she fell against his chest, shaking and grabbing and he knew what she was doing, she wanted him to wrap his arms around her and promise it was going to be ok, maybe kiss the pain away, mutter a thousand apologies in her ear but he couldn't, he couldn't move his arms, he didn't want to ignore her pleading eyes, but he couldn't put those same arms that swung at her leaving her cheek swollen and read anywhere near her.

'Daryl...' She sobbed, her arms wrapped around his ribs and her breath hot against his neck. 'I'm sorry... just...' He squeezed his eyes shut and felt a tear slip out and cursed that she could make him do that, and he wanted to, he wanted to move his arms and pull her into him, but he didn't have the right to anymore, he threw that away when he hit at her, he couldn't.

Eventually she moved, she stood up and he saw the cold look on her face as she stepped back. Dale took her arm and she seemed to almost fall into him and he did it, he wrapped his arms around her and Daryl could hear him whispering how it was all ok, and he hated himself for not being able to make himself do that.

He dropped his head and pushed the heel of his palms into his eyes, as if he were literally pushing any future tears away, and he vaguely felt his hands pulling at his hair as if he was going to rip it out himself. And then there was a cool hand on his shoulder and he thought he should apologize to Elizabeth, thank her for having the good sense to take Jake away, but when he looked up it was Judy, grinning like a damn fool, and he wanted to pull away, but right at this moment he had strength to blink and that was about it.

He might have heard a walker groan in the distance or it might have been his own throat, but when she bent to tell him that it's ok, when she whispered he wasn't alone, that she was here for him, he dropped his gaze ashamed that she'd be so open in her actions, ashamed that still after he had warned her away, here she was again. although dropping his eyes just landed his sight straight down her top at her fucking round faker than a barbie dolls tits, and yeah it flashed through his mind that he could run of behind someone's van and pound into her until he had nothing left to give and it would feel fucking good, but then Beth's face popped back in his mind and he swallowed hard because he wondered what kind of sick prick he was, he squeezed his eyes shut again trying to push it all away, and he decided it was defiantly a walker groan somewhere, or maybe he was just feeling that fucking dead and it was his own groans he was hearing.

But when he opened his eyes he suddenly found a new strength and he stood, pushing Judy back, landing her or her ass, and he cracked his back, and readjusted his balls which were pretty much at her face height, so it really looked that much cruder, but he didn't care because they were fucking throbbing still, and then he spat the lump out of his throat ignoring everyone who was still staring dumbfounded, some at him and some at Beth who was wrapped in Dales arms and he really thought they might be the most useless bunch alive because that damn walker sounded like it was getting closer and no one had the brains to go and get it.

'Fucking dumb shit!' And he didn't really know whether he was directing that at each and every idiot that was looking around, or at Judy, or maybe at the stupid walker that thought it had a chance, clearly it didn't get the zombie memo on Daryl Dixon. He thought about it as he picked up his bow, he probably directed it at himself, because really if he had just told Beth what was in that esky instead of hiding it in the boot of the car, he could have avoided all of this.

His arrow snapped as he tried to force it in his bow, fumbling hands and that fucking missing finger that kept slipping. He threw it away faintly hearing it ping of his bike, and marched towards the damn walker anyway, it was a fair way off still, but he didn't care he needed to do something.

It didn't see him, it walked right past him toward the group and that pissed him of even more. 'Hey dumbass, I ain't good enough for ya huh?' He kicked its knee out from behind and his turned to him then, Daryl didn't know why it missed him the first time, maybe it was focused on the group, maybe Beth was right about them not wanting you unless you had a soul or some shit, but it was trying to scratch and pull at him now, but it wasn't hard to kick out its other knee, and somewhere in him he knew it was sick, but it felt absolutely fucking glorious to bring the butt of his crossbow across its face sending its jaw bone flinging a meter to the side, its hands were still reaching for him and yeah he grinned at that because it looked just like him. 'Fucking hopeless prick ain't gonna stop till a dead huh?'

He kicked it back and didn't flinch at the sound of its ribs cracking as he stumbled forward his boot sinking into the rotten corpse, it was pretty de mobilized now as he flicked its guts of his foot, but one of its arms was still moving and it thudded against his leg spreading the rotten blood on him, he shook it off and bent down bringing the butt of his crossbow over its face, it slid the skin of but didn't crush it, so he tried again and again and again, and yeah it was mush now and the thing was dead, but it felt good, he didn't mind the thing splattering up him, it made him feel dirty and dead, and that's exactly what he was. He mashed it until there was nothing but a few teeth and a tuff of hair, and then he let himself slump down and he dropped his head, and spent an endless amount of time muttering. 'Fuck fuck fuck.' To himself before his eyes caught sight of the paper hanging out of his pocket, and he knew when he saw the face that used to belong to this thing he'd bashed that he should've got up and walked away but he pulled it out anyway and his eyes glazed over the woman and boy in her arms. 'Poor bastard.' Was all Daryl managed to mention before he found himself grabbing at the walkers hand and muttering a thousand sorry's.

He probably would've sat there all day if another one hadn't come stomping over to greet him, he stood up, stuffing the picture in his pocket and loaded his bow, getting the second one on the first shot, he pulled the arrow out and stomped back towards the camp. He knew he looked like a fool, but at least no one would notice the tears in his eyes with so much walker gore on him, yeah he planned to walk over to the showers, but it pissed him of that Beth was still in Dales arms.

Maybe he should have left her, but then again she's always talking about how he does that, so maybe this time he should be selfish about it, hell why not, he pulled Beth's arm roughly and felt the satisfying thud as she fell against his chest, and maybe he thought for a second he shouldn't have but when she wrapped her arms around him, he knew finally he had got one fucking thing right. And it didn't matter if he was covered in some dead guys guts, it mattered that she was there. She looked at him and she looked trusting and sorry and maybe like she wanted him to kiss her, which was odd because he could feel the rotten blood sliding down his face and he wondered how that was ok, but it wasn't that that stopped him, it was that damn swollen cheek of hers.

He stepped back with a heavy frown because this, he was not going to be able to fix. He felt guilty and angry and betrayed and frustrated, and a bunch of other things that he really couldn't get into right now, so he stepped back and turned and made way for some place that wasn't there.

**A/N ok so, I've realized Daryl is swearing a bit more which might seem a little out of character, to cannon, which I strive to at least mildly stick to, but I don't know it just feels right, it's got something to do with him feeling alone and angry without the support of others because at this point he's got Beth and Dale, Elizabeth and Jakob don't really count because he can't talk to them about stuff, so the stress is building and will start to manifest itself in different ways.**

**Also I realize some of you might be unhappy with the idea of them beating up on each other, but Beth has a good reason, (ten points if you can guess, but I won't be explaining for a little while, although I would think it's fairly obvious) and Daryl only slapped her, but yeah in his head it was a whole bunch worse.**

**Also... know you might not be happy with Daryl's thoughts about Judy, buuuutt... I'm trying to write him like a guy, not like a perfect hero, so meh, it doesn't mean anything, but the thoughts are still there.**

**Anyway, please review! Would love your comments on this 'angry' chapter :D**


	53. Not angry or sumfin'

**A/N ok guys, so here's the thing, I've had two guests and another person (so that's three) express that they feel this story it too drawn out and has no story line, this is not how it's been planned to be, sure I know the not having sex thing is getting a bit ridiculous, but as you will see in the coming chapters even Beth and Daryl (and even Elizabeth) remark on that, (and you will also see Daryl getting pretty antsy about it which should express a different level of emotions because before he was all 'has to be you to make the move coz I ain good enough' where now he's sort of demanding it because he finally gets that he does deserve her) mind you I've never intended this to be some mindless romance, I want it to have that real feel which is full of frustration and things not working out how you want them too.**

_**Reminder as to what has happened, sure they found each other and fell in love at the cabin, which was all awkward and unsure, and then finding Jakob added a whole new level of comfort to the relationship while simultaneously making it more difficult. Currently there are a few things going on which aren't sex orientated, such as Jakob being bullied, Daryl having his almost mental breakdown, trying to express the importance of dale ad Elizabeth and the waring side of Adam where we all want to hate him but can recognize he's on of the few good people around, and also the disturbance that Judy is adding. In the next chapter or so we will be discussing the face that as much as Daryl does indeed love Beth, he just finds it difficult sometimes to express that and downright embarrassing to do in front of others (actually that may have been touched on in the last chapter). There's also the added stress that this just isn't their family so there's this underlying tension .I thought this was providing enough drama to keep it interesting but maybe not?**_

**Anyway I'll admit were in the dead spot of the story, and I think once they leave the camp (which is happening very soon, things will really take a different direction, being on the road again will be both a set back and a leap forward, and will hopefully create some of the tension they had at the cabin but only different because the emotions run that much deeper now. **

**This story to me is about more than wether they just have sex or not, it's about really getting a unbreakable bond with someone, and the responsibility that Daryl has to make Beth perfectly happy and how that doesn't always translate into him succeeding, because they are both so different. As for where the story is going there's some pretty big things about to happen, but not necicerially sexually, you will see how much Daryl relies on Beth and how open to her he is because for once he won't get angry or run away he will be happy to stay and even admit that he needs her. My plan was to focus on how that's going to affect their person rather than just get them into bed.**

**I will give you a SPOILER about **_**the **_**scene (which is a fair way of still, but has been written since like chapter twenty) it's not going to be the one you expect, and yes they will try a couple more times before they succeed, a) because there is something that happens that has them a little out of sorts and Daryl just can't get it up despite his earnest efforts, (again I think this adds a touch of reality) and b) there will be a pretty ok Daryl worshiping scene which while it may not be sex perse you will hopefully get that they're on a whole new level that's more than just that. And then yes finally they will get to it in a time and place that you won't really be expecting and hopefully its a little like 'woah ok did I read right?' (although now I've told you, you might not have that reaction. ) anyway after that they will go at it like rabbits a fair bit, which will show a new side of both of them.**

**Then they're going to have to deal with the whole Maggie thing, and yes she is going to be pissed about it, but not for the reasons you think because really she loves her sister and wants the best for her regardless of whether she agrees or even likes Daryl or not, and even regardless of the fact that she has found the perfect suitor for her sister and is annoyed that Beth's not interested.**

**So anyway, this book for me is fun to write, my partner and I sit down and talk about it and come up with ideas and we have allot of fun doing it, and just so you all know, he's the one that keeps C**K blocking Daryl, as some of you guys have so eloquently put it, I don't know why, because he sure has allot to say about the sex scenes, so I don't know, we are trying to build it to an unbearable tension where you just feel like giving up on them, but not to the point where we lose readers. **

**Anyway the point of this explanation is to ask, what is the general consensus? are you keen to see me continue the story as planned, which will probably have them getting in each other's pants around chapter 75ish, or are too many people going to hate it and just want them to bonk in the watchtower or something... which I'm not sure if that even exists anymore because I'm already past the camp, but you get my drift. ( also I know this story is really long, but I write like 1000 words a day on it which isn't much and seeing as I write daily, I sort of mostly have things happen daily so not a massive amount of time has passed, considering its a zombie apocalypse and all, like since they actually got together, just before they left the cabin at the end of winter it's been maybe 6-8 weeks? So not really huge time, considering Daryl's hang-ups and Beth's inexperience with anything really, I don't find this that hard to swallow?**

**Please keep in mind that I've written up to chapter 65 already so you won't see changes till then, because I don't have time to re write, as I do actually work and stuff.**

**I'm really hoping the general readers are happy with where this is going and although frustrated enjoying it, because I'm really excited about what's happening, I think it's all going to have that shocking depressing but then completely elated sort of feel and I'm pumped to write about that, but you know if most people are disliking then I'll have to think about changing, I guess I'm really hoping that you feel this story is moving along and are enjoying its pace.**

**Also though to the guest that commented last, and made my head spin with the woa reallys? I think the characters were doing allot emotionally, so if the story is only redundant because they're not having sex well, I dunno, I'm cool with that. Also your telling me that IF the story was any good... if that's your opinion, that's fine, I'm not even offended, but you don't have to read it if you're not enjoying it, there's plenty other more touchy long stories out there that are a little slow but more than this, like off the top of my head 'R is for Real', that's an amazing fic, it's not what I want to write, well not yet, but it's pretty damn good, so if you feel that this isn't any good for you maybe try something else like that.**

**But to galvin91, thank you for your input it was your comment that really made me think about where this is going and try to speed it up a little more, hopefully the little bits I'll be adding will make it more excitable, until they get there, I understand what you mean about the lack of kissing/touching and the declarations, I guess I've been thinking about the basic story arc that I forgot to add those little things which I presumed was just a given, but are done in the non public eye because at this point I can't see Daryl being cool with any public activity, and especially with Adam hanging around I think he's feeling a little intimidated, but he's defiantly getting more comfortable with dale and Elizabeth.**

**Also about the author notes and reviews. You guys do realize yous can skip the author notes if you're not interested. And I'm sorry I ask for reviews heaps, but dudes I spend like two hours a day writing I didn't think it was that bad to ask for some feedback, but sorry if that's so annoying, I'll always stick a reminder at the bottom but I'll stop mentioning it other than my little please review tag. Apologies for being so annoying about it.**

**Annnyy way, do enjoy this fic, it has a little fluff at the end of this chappy, so I'm hoping yous can all run with that for a bit. :D I might try to spend a bit more time explaining what's going on in the author notes, not making them as long as this one lol, but yeah, because I've been getting allot of questions inboxes where people are just missing the underlying things. :D**

**Thank you so much for your loyal reading and reviewing and I'll try to amp up the excitement in the coming chapters. (also chapters one through nine are betad and will be reposted today :D**

Jakob shrugged his little shoulders. 'She's pissed with you anyway.'

'Hey.' Daryl snapped. 'What I told ya bout talkin' like that boy?'

Jakob rolled his eyes. 'It's ok for you.' He argued.

Daryl heard Dale chuckle behind him, and turned to glare at the old man. 'Told ya, that age they're like sponges, they soak it all up.'

Daryl pressed his lips together. 'You're different Jake, don't want you growing up, talkin' like you got no brain.' Daryl advised. He looked Jakob up and down before reaching out and rubbing the boys back, reassuring Jakob that he wasn't really angry. 'Ain't like yer ever gonna go to collage... can at least sound like we're raisin ya right.'

Jakob swung his head from side to side, looking annoyed. He sighed. 'Ok you're in trouble anyway.' Jakob rephrased.

The rephrasing did nothing to lessen Daryl's scowl though. 'Why?'

Jakob shrugged. 'You had a fight.' He paused to scratch under his mask. 'And now she thinks you think, she doesn't want to be friends.'

Daryl frowned. 'Its' not that...'

'Then you don't want to be friends?' Jakob questioned.

Daryl glanced over Jakob's shoulder to Dale who was busy packing up the lunch they had brought, and looked back to him with a sigh. 'It's not always about being friends.'

Jakob nodded. 'That's what I said, we have to be friends even if we get mad with each other, that's what family has to do.' Jakob answered.

'Wise boy.' Dale commented, sending Daryl a smirk.

Daryl grunted before ruffling his fingers through Jakob's hair. 'Yeah, well sometimes we do things... that..'

'Do you mean because she hit you?' Jakob cut him off.

Daryl shrugged, annoyed that Jakob could pick up on his insecurities so quickly, Daryl had never been able to lie to him. 'Because I hit her back.' Daryl answered honestly as he wiped at his nose.

Jakob swung his leg from the other side of the bike so that he was facing Daryl. He seemed to be considering something before he spoke. 'You know how Nan gives me lollies?'

Daryl looked back to Dale who stood hands on his hips awaiting this story also. Daryl nodded. 'Yeah...'

Jakob chewed on his lip a little. 'Jonothon stole some a little while ago, and she said to me that I can have them whenever I want as long as I ask...' He looked to Dale, 'Don't tell her poppa,' Jakob asked and after receiving a nod he continued. 'I promised I'd never steal them, but I did, a week ago, I stole one, it was on the bench and it was just me and Slayer and I took it without asking... I don't feel bad though, not really.' Jakob answered.

Daryl shifted on the log he sat back on. 'Why not?'

Jakob shrugged. 'I do feel bad... but because before I didn't know how bad it felt... now I do, I won't do it again, not even by accident... and I won't even think about doing it, which is even better than not doing it.'

Daryl looked across to Dale, curling one side of his lip up in responded to Dale's large grin. He nodded behind the man, and Dale turned around spotting the walker. Daryl stood and took aim while Dale ducked.

Daryl looked back down to Jakob, letting out the deep breath he took to aim and considered the story, he cleared his throat as Dale went to retrieve the arrow. ''Fore I was just sayin' it, coz it was right huh?'

Jakob nodded. 'But now you know... mommy does to, so you don't have to be mad, she still wants to be friends... She's just scared that you don't' Jakob explained.

Daryl scrubbed at his chin before taking the arrow from the older man. 'So she's pissed at me...'

'Angry with you.' Dale corrected, slapping Daryl over the back of his head.

'Sorry angry because she thinks I don't want to be friends?' He received a nod from Jakob. 'So if I go home and tell her I do, then she should be happy yeah?' Daryl questioned, and he knew it was stupid asking relationship advice from a child, but he knew Beth spoke to Jakob, especially when she wasn't speaking to him.

Jakob nodded again.

'That'll make me happy.' Daryl answered. 'So if it's that easy, why did you say she's pis... angry anyway?'

Jakob smirked as he swung his leg back over the bike. 'Because you're going to say yes, and she bet me two packets of chewing gum that you'd let her ride it first!'

Daryl frowned again knowing he was being played by the boy. 'Maybe I'll tell you to get your arse..' He received another slap to the head. 'Butt...' He corrected while glaring at Dale, 'Into the car.' He suggested.

Jakob eyed him for a moment, before wriggling forward and reaching for the handlebars of the bike with a smirk, that said he knew he won. Daryl sighed and swung his leg over as he nodded at Dale, throwing his the crossbow, and watched him climb in the car. Daryl rocked the bike kicking the stand up and pulled Jakob's back firmly into his chest. 'Ya hold on ok.' Daryl advised placing the boys hands on his legs and letting the boy settle there. 'Safer if ya ride here so I can catch ya...' Daryl kicked the bike to start as Jakob leaned up and kissed his cheek. Daryl grunted. 'Ya ain't gonna fall if ya just lean into me ok, no fancy stuff, wanna feel ya here the whole time ok.' Daryl explained and Jakob nodded pushing his back into Daryl's chest. 'When we turn, ya ain't gonna fall, just lean with me, ya get scared give me a squeeze, and I'll grab ya ok?' Daryl shouted over the sound of the engine. Jakob nodded again and Daryl finally let the bike move, easing it onto the road, where he rode slowly increasing speed, as Dale followed in the car behind.

Daryl rolled into the camp and drove straight towards their RV where Beth and Elizabeth were playing cards on the little table, Slayer by their feet.

Jakob had done exactly as he was told and it was only now as he took one of his hands of Dales leg to wave at the women that Daryl feared him falling, he wrapped one arm around the boys waist and held him protectively as he rode up to the women. He turned the bike of and sent Beth his most intense stare.

Something was different, he was eying her greedily, he hadn't spoken or even looked at her properly in three days since the esky incident, but now he was un-shamilgly devouring her with his intense eyes. She frowned at him. 'What?'

'You're hot when you're pisse...angry.' Daryl mentally scolded himself again for swearing in front of Jakob.

She looked a little surprised, because htey had been mostly ignoring each other since it happened. 'I'm not.' Beth argued.

'You're angry as fuc...you're angry.' Daryl cleared his throat.

'No joke!' Elizabeth smiled.

Daryl glanced at her and she grinned back before she stood crossing to the car Dale had taken on their little men's pick nick to greet him, as if she hadn't said anything at all, only she had and Daryl understood it.

'What makes you think that?' Beth asked.

Daryl thought about addressing the real issue, but hell he wanted to see her smile, he hadn't seen it in a few days, and he couldn't be bothered talking it out now. He looked down to Jake and pulled him tighter against his chest. 'Heard you lost a bet... still want a ride anyway?'

Beth tried her best not to look annoyed, she shrugged.

Daryl smirked at her. 'C'mon, in honour of ya list... 'n..' He paused to look down to Jakob. 'Bein' friends 'gen, parently were both been mad at ourselves, both thought it was each other... were dumbasses.' he concluded.

She stood at that. 'You ain't mad at me?'

Daryl shook his head. 'Just me.'

Beth bit her lip before beaming a smile. 'Well I'm mad! Jake got the first ride!' She answered pinching Jakes tummy softly, in favour of not explaining that she wasn't mad either, now she understood why he had been carraying it around.

'Well you coming or not?' Daryl asked, and he winked when Beth gave him the slightest nod.

She threw her leg over the bike and pulled herself up close against his back. She felt Daryl shift his body jerking as he kick started the bike, but as he settled back down she wrapped her arms around his waist, her hands meeting on Jakob's little chest. She felt Daryl's hand roughly tug at hers, but she didn't pull it away when she felt him press his lips to it, not once but twice, and seeing as both hands were busy she squeezed him with her thighs, and she felt him lean back a little into her as he replaced his hand and let the bike ease forward.

They didn't go far, only a few laps around the camp, the first lap Beth had held on so tight, Daryl thought her grip might give Jake an athsma attack, but she soon loosened it, Daryl responded to that by roughly weaving the bike, throwing them from side to side, smiling to himself at the way they both gripped onto him for dear life.

When they rolled up out the front of their RV, they saw Dale wielding the Polaroid camera and the won chewy packets, he threw the chewy's to Jakob who caught them eagerly ripping one open and stuffing it into his mouth before offering Daryl and Beth one.

Beth refused, but Daryl took one, it was a poor distraction from having a cigarette, but hell anything to keep his mouth busy was good. Someone on the other side of camp had sent him a whiff enraging his cravings again, Daryl flicked the bike stand down and stuffed it into his mouth, before turning to Beth. 'Good as you hoped?' He asked.

Beth smirked at him, Jakob swung a leg over the bike so he was sitting facing the RV, attempting to show Elizabeth his bubble blowing skills, causing Daryl to shift his leg enough to give Jakob room to perch on the bike. Beth took advantage of the movement and slipped her hand under his shirt and scratched gently at his hip as he moved. 'Yeah... better.'

Jakob's bubble popped on his face and Beth used the distraction to lean up into his ear. 'Been waiting to ride you forever.' She slipped her hand to scratch just above his belt buckle, she smiled brightly at Jakob who had glanced at them showing of his bubble gum covered face, he tried to pull it off and she could hear Dale and Elizabeth laughing, 'Sorry with you.' she corrected, and it all happened so quickly that the brief pause between the first and the second sentence was almost nonexistent. She scratched the base of his back softly with her other hand as she'd said it.

She felt Daryl lurch sideways, but it took a moment for her to register what had happened, he fell sideways off the bike in a coughing fit, barley catching himself with his foot. It took a couple of concentrated coughs to dislodge the chewy that he had inadvertently half swallowed, as he dragged his leg from the bike and stood.

He looked to the small group with watery eyes, blushing a crimson colour. He sniffed, feeling a little embarrassed.

'Fuckin' gum!' He commented, and when the older couple returned their attention to Jakob he leaned into Beth. 'Ain't waistin' no time huh? Just made up twenty minutes ago.' He scolded her, but she didn't miss the appreciative squeeze on her thigh.

'If you two are done with ya pillow talk...' Dale interrupted, and they both snapped their heads to him. Daryl looking somehow shocked that Dale knew they were even having their own conversation. 'Like ta get a nice photo of yas.' Dale explained.

Daryl bit back another blush, but looked all too shocked when Beth winked at him.

Elizabeth laughed at him which only made him more uncomfortable. Jakob called Slayer over who jumped up on the empty part of the bike seat where Daryl had previously been, and Daryl ruffled the dogs fur, more of a distraction than anything.

'Say cheese!' Dale ordered.

And Jakob pulled his mask to slip around his neck, and let out an enthusiastic. 'Cheese!' As he did so, Daryl leaned down, wrapping his arms around the two of them and felt the dog reach up and lick his cheek at the moment the camera clicked. He frowned and pushed the dog off, before pulling Jakob's mask back up and hoisting the boy of the bike so he could go and have a look at the picture which was still bleeding colour into it.

Beth gave him a sly smirk, but he ignored it as he pulled a pen from his pocket and motioned to her own where she passed him the list, he marked of number five, leaning on the gas tank, and glanced at her. 'That's five left... say we take out twelve now the weather is warming up?' He asked, his face straight.

Beth looked to the paper _skinny dip._ 'Oh Daryl, and you say I don't play fair!'

'Hmph.' He grunted as he shoved the paper in her left hip pocket, receiving a surprising kiss to his cheek as he did so. 'Go on git.' He motioned her of the bike slapping her ass as she did so, and the five of them gathered around to observe the little memory.


	54. Somethin' 'bout Judy

**A/N Thanks for the positive comments last chapter, I'm so happy mostly everyone is enjoying the road the story is going, although some of you would like some more focus on the cute moments, so I'll work on that, I was kind of hoarding all these ideas for later, but I'm going to be dropping them in more often, because I have no idea why I wasn't so sorry. Anyway, Please don't hate me for this chapter, it's a little... different, keep in mind, the thing, it's like a few seconds Daryl is not literally thinking about it for like ten minutes, (and yeah he reverts back a little to the feral Daryl before the turn, you know the type that Merle raised and approved of ****)and he is a guy so don't get angry...**

**In saying that please enjoy, and I have another Danny story at the end to make you hopefully smile a little, it's not super funny, but he was being a bit of a smart ass again.**

**Also this chapter you know higher rating, I mean it's nothing exciting so I won't even say M, but you know, warning to anyone who's not comfortable in sexual situations. Enjoy... or hate, whatever :D**

**Also someone said Americans don't use 'Oi', so what do you use, for that, 'Hey I want your attention, but I don't want to speak to you noise?'**

He had half a mind to walk off, to leave her there sobbing in the kitchen tent, but he really didn't have it in him to be that heartless anymore. He eyed her up and down, watching her shaking, her knife in her hand scratching at the edge of the table as her hand trembled. He could just walk back to the RV and climb in bed and ignore her.

'Fuck...' He groaned as he placed his bow on the table. He sniffed and looked up to her rolling his eyes.

He crossed to the drum of water and took a rag dipping it in, and screwing it out. He took it back to her and dropped it on the table. She didn't respond.

'Oi.' He pointed to the cloth. 'Wanna clean that shit up?' He asked.

Judy blinked and looked at the cloth still unmoving. He groaned and took her knife wiping it clean on his pants before placing it on the table, he took the cloth and wiped the blood off her arm, before dropping it in her hand and motioning to her neck. She blinked again and then shook her head and managed to wipe away the walker blood from her neck, it took a couple of tries, and Daryl had to motion more than once, but once he was satisfied he took the cloth and rinsed it before pegging it up.

He heard her sniff and turned to her. 'Thankyou...' Came her weak little voice. 'I thought I was gone.'

'Hmph.' Daryl agreed. 'Good thing ya been coming to those classes.'

She huffed. 'Not that it made that mush difference... if it wasn't for you.' She began.

'Ain't nothin'... It did make a difference.' Daryl answered.

She wiped at her tears. 'You must think I'm so stupid...' She answered.

And something about the non sexuality of her voice for the first time ever softened him a little.

'Naw man, freshens are always tougher.' He explained.

She smiled at him for the kindness, 'They all look the same to me.' She answered.

Daryl shrugged, nah, the grey ones are generally fresher, as the meat rotts they turn brown and then blacker, I'd say he was only three or so weeks old, probably got stunned when they started speeding up in the warmth again.'

Judy looked up to him. 'I tried to stab it where you taught us, but it wouldn't go through.'

Daryl shook his head. 'Nah ya weren't back far enough...yer too short.' He answered, and frowned at Judy's look of confusion. He sighed softly. 'Ya gotta learn this stuff if ya wanna live... C'mere.' He motioned and she stood shakily, he stabilized her by her elbow, and when she seemed ok to stand he passed her knife. 'Ya see...' He picked her wrist up and motioned the knife to his own head. 'Know I said the top, but ya can't reach the top, not on a man my height... not with any good strength left, yer too short.'

Judith frowned and brought her wrist slightly lower pressing the knife to his forehead.

Daryl shook it. 'Nah, skulls too thick on a freshen there, ya ain't too strong, ya gotta go for weak spots.'

Judy sniffed her tears away stumbling a little still from the adrenalin. 'But it's a knife...' As if that gave her the magic belief that it should crush the skull, it always did when she saw the men wield one.

Daryl huffed. 'Look ya get into a fight and ya head butt someone, ya use this.' He wiped his finger across the top of his forehead. 'It's just stronger, if ya wanna stab through the top ya go for here.' He pointed to the top of his head behind his forehead. 'Like a baby's soft spot it's still weaker.' He explained pushing on his own head.

He jumped when he felt Judy's fingers bump his and land on his scalp. 'Hey.' He stepped back. 'Ain't no touch and feel booth, ya got ya own head!' He answered.

And she actually stepped back minutely. 'Sorry.'

Daryl shrugged. 'Anyway, sum'n your height ain't gonna reach sum'n my height that easy, so ya go for here.' He pointed to the base of his skull. 'Or here.' He motioned to his temples. 'Ya understand?

She nodded. 'Thank you Daryl.' She tried a smile, but her lips were quivering.

'S'fine.' He answered scratching at his hair line, he stepped past her and slung his crossbow over his back, and looked back to her, still shaking. 'Hey... want me to walk ya... yer on the way.' And he didn't mean it as some romantic gesture, he wasn't even being a gentleman, he just knew she might not make it if she had another come at her while she was so shaky.

Apparently that question was heartbreaking because she burst into tears, hugging herself and sobbing. Daryl put his hand on his hips, wiping at his nose and wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. 'What ya cryin' for?'

Judy shook her head and tried to control her sobs. 'Just... just haven't had anyone show me, help me, it's just always been me, and I'm so scared... I just...'

Daryl had for some reason decided to hug the woman, as soon as he'd done it he wondered what had possessed him to do it, maybe all Beth's hugging emotional shit was wearing of on him. It was awkward, and really it wasn't a hug, it was more he'd stepped closer to her and put his hands on her arms, but she had wrapped her hands around him and was sobbing into his neck, and it all felt a bit much, and he knew his arms were now waving around in the air aimlessly as he decided what to do, but he couldn't figure it out.

And then it took him a moment to realize that while she was muttering, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you...' In his ear, her lips were now brushing against his neck and it didn't feel like it was an accident, and then he felt her sucking at that spot that Beth always went to, and he actually groaned, which did two things, seemed to spur her on a little, but it also helped his hands make up their mind on what they were doing, and they found purchase on her shoulders and he tried to push her back, but instead she went down, her hands sliding in one fluid motion from his shoulders to his crouch and he cursed, annoyed at the basic body reaction when he felt himself hardening almost instantly.

He reached for her wrists, but she had already noticed, and she beamed a smile up at him, and he couldn't help but notice as he looked down those fucking huge ass tits heaving in her too low top, and she smiled at him, not the usual flirtations smile, but a grateful one, which somehow made him drop her hands and they grazed over his cock immediately. 'You want me Daryl.' She answered, tears in her eyes still yet smiling like she fucking knew the bet before it was made, as she placed a kiss there and her fingers going for the button.

His eyes widened and finally his body actually moved, he reached down and pushed her back by her shoulders. 'What the fuck is wrong with you?' He snapped taking a step back, reeling in shock. 'What the fuck are you doing?'

She was now sitting on the ground but he could see she was trying to look sexy despite the position she had fallen into. 'You helped me out, I'm returning the favour.' She answered simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Daryl screwed up his face, because once that would have actually made sense, but now it was just wrong because off '...Beth..' He had more to say about that, but he couldn't really function, he was too confused, wondering how he'd gotten himself into this mess.

Judy shrugged slightly. 'I won't tell her, she crawled back to her knees and Daryl started stepping back immediately. 'It's ok, it can be our secret...' She promised, and he felt his legs hit a table, and then she was at him, her hands still trembling, but reaching for him again, and he'd be lying if he said that he didn't have half a mind to go along with it, that in some old world a long time ago before he met the most amazing person he'd ever known he would've jumped at the opportunity, Judy was certainly better looking than his trailer trash girls and he almost wondered what silicone tits felt like, because none of the girls he'd had were remotely fancy enough to have that shit, so yeah, maybe he should pick her up and bend her over the table and fuck her till she screamed his name and he felt that tension relieve that has been building for months.

But, 'Beth...' She reached for him again and this time he captured her wrists and pulled her to her feet, determand to give her an answer. 'Ya think I want ya huh? Think id risk hurtin' Beth for ya?'

Judy smiled slightly. 'C'mon, that little girl? Really, you can't be that infatuated, I'm sure she doesn't know half the tricks I do...' She raised a eyebrow, and the disgusting way her words drawled from her mouth made Daryl angry, losing any pity he'd been feeling for the woman.

Daryl groaned, he was going to have to give it to her straight, He couldn't put up with this anymore, he'd have to give her a answer that was straight enough that it would settle the issue permanently. 'Yeah.. huh? What tricks you got girl?' He questioned, 'Think you can suck cock better than her pretty little mouth huh? Think ya think your tricks are better? What can you do, huh?' He pulled her chin up to look at him, because damn it he had to drive the point home. 'C'mon, tell me what you can do? Can you pull that loose cooch right over your head? That ain't no trick darlin'... think I'd rather look at your face, hell it ain't bad, but it ain't fresh like hers... think there's a chance I'd choose your body when I can have a young girl like her, all firm and fucking brilliant.' Judy was standing again, and slowly inching forward, so Daryl attempted to be meaner. 'Oh yeah come here, ya want some of this?' He thrust his hips forward a little. 'Ya know it's more fun when ya ain't throwin' ya'self at me, don't mind chasin' a bit, fightin' a bit, really, more prefer workin' for it.' He flicked at her boobs and regretted the action immediately, it had just happened, but he rolled with it. 'She ain't got these plastic tits neither, she's all real and fucking perfect, ain't no trick in the book that is gonna have me picking your middle aged slutty wizard sleeve over her tight little barley legal pussy, no matter what fancy trick you pull, and you're a fucking fool if that's what you think, so why don't you walk yourself home and play with your vibrator instead of hasteling me out, coz trust me you're gonna get a shit load more out of that than you will ever get out of me.'

'Daryl...' She almost laughed.

Wow, she was going to continue, really he hadn't expected that. 'Mean it Judy, ain't into old cooch at all!' He warned, and yeah he even flinched at himself, because even though he'd heard Merle talk like this his whole life, and even though hell he'd spoke like this before, it just left him feeling skeevy and dirty, and he knew Beth would be slapping him around the ears right now if she could hear him.

Daryl gave her one last shove for good measure and stepped towards the door, noticing the loud presence of Adam and his daughter. He turned back to Judy, not knowing how much of that they were present for, but the look on Adams face told him he'd defiantly heard enough, The man looked like he was willing to punch him.

'Tellin' ya Judy, and I ain't gonna tell ya 'gen, you pull this shit one more time, and I'll feed ya to the fucking walkers!' He stated, as he turned back around bumping into... Amber? Was that her name?

It didn't matter what her name was, Adam had made it clear that Daryl wasn't to even talk to her. Hell her and Beth hit it off immediately, but never got the chance to do anything together, because Adam was so sure Daryl was going to rape any underage girl he came in contact with, which really, if he'd heard what he had just told Judy, which he did, he'd be sure of that now.

Daryl reached for her as she almost fell to the ground, stabilizing her with an apologetic nod, he flinched when her father's protective hands hit at his own. 'Ya don't touch my girl archer...'

Daryl eyed him carefully. 'Wasn't...yeah I know.' Because really he wanted to explain, but hell, Adam had his mind made up.

Adam eyed Judy cautiously, he clearly didn't think much of her either. 'Why don't ya give young Beth a break huh?' Adam suggested. And Daryl could hear the silent suggestion that maybe he was low enough to deserve Judy.

Daryl screwed up his face and looked back to Judy, understanding what the man was suggesting. 'No!' It was a simple answer.

Adam scowled. 'If she was my girl...'

'She ain't.' Daryl affirmed. 'She's mine.' He flinched because he understood Adam meant if Beth was his daughter, and now putting it in that context it made him sound all the more sicker. 'Mean...'

'Don't care what you mean...'till she comes looking for help, I'll leave it, but I tell you, the day she asks, there ain't gonna be a place on this planet you can hide.' Adam warned.

Daryl hadn't missed the way he had protectively stepped in front of his daughter, or the genuine warning in his voice, and hell Daryl even liked it, because even if the prick was antagonizing as hell, and had it completely wrong at least he had integrity, which was virtually unheard of now days, and he knew only a handful of men now that did.

And yeah it was even nice to know the man hated him, because the guy had the wrong end of the stick, and yeah he might have not cared to take time to listen, but at least he had the guts to stand up and say something for someone who wasn't his own, clearly he wasn't one of these walkerbait bullshitters. 'Thanks man.' Daryl nodded, and yeah he caught the confusion on Adams face, but he didn't explain. He just left the tent and made way back to his RV because really he was sick of this fucking shit, being blamed for something he hadn't done, telling someone how good it was when really he had no idea, yeah he wanted to change that right now.

**A/N Hope you liked the ferrel Daryl! And yay for giving it to Judy.. or not giving it to Judy! Hope you enjoyed, please leave your comments!**

**Oh and don't hate Adam too much... Daryl dosen't.**

**Dan story**

_**Sitting in the car at supermarket.**_

_**Bens about to run in and grab some stuff.**_

'_**Dan, ya want anything, were getting some booze?'**_

'_**Nah.'**_

'_**Nah?' Ben asks surprised.**_

'_**M.' fine.'**_

'_**Hear that love, he's fine, never nukkin the day he's fine!' Ben laughs at me. 'We ain't comin' back down when ya change ya mind.'**_

'_**Got my girls tomorrow.' Dan answered.**_

'_**Have ya now? Since when?' Ben asks.**_

'_**Thismornin'.'**_

'_**Huh?' Ben finds this surprising, because since Dan's bitch wife left him to run off with her personal trainer she hasn't let him see his girls which is what the whole drunken antagonistic jerk of a monster that my brother has turned into is all about. 'How'd that come about?'**_

_**Dan shrugs and I think about making a run for it before he dobbs me in. 'Some psycho kanj girl.'**_

_**Ben frowns at me immediately. 'Wouldn't happen to be anyone we know?'**_

'_**Yeah some red headed fireball with a temper to match.' Dan explains.**_

_**Ben hits my arm. 'Told ya, ya wanted something sorted tell me.' Ben scolds me.**_

_**I shrug. 'Shoulda just done it, without me askin; if ya so worried.' I complained.**_

'_**We will be talking about this.' He warned me, even before he hears the story he expects the worst, but I shrug him off.**_

''_**Parently told her that I'm takin' them to the play, (this is a school play that they've been planning for since the start of the year) said something about hunting since she was five, and she's never gutted a person, but figures it ain't no different to a rabbit, and now the bitch ain't fat it will be easy to get her insides on her outsides of something.' **_

'_**Oh I did not!' I argued. Ben is glaring at me. Never gutted a rabbit in my life…' **_

'_**Sounds like something you'd say.'**_

_**I shrugged, at this point I may as well be honest. 'I told her I can arrange it…'**_

_**Dan ignors our argument and continues. 'Gonna take 'em to the play, out to the barn, ya know with the dancers that Shannon likes and the big ass ice-creams for Shiloh… then thinkin' bout campin' out at the Res… if you'd be nice enough to drive us?'**_

_**Ben nods.**_

'_**Be awful grateful.' Dan answered.**_

_**Ben excuses himself to run into the shops and Dan is muttering something about how much were helping him and he wished he could pay us back. I pull out my phone and look at it.**_

'_**What's funny?' Dan asks when I start giggeling.**_

'_**Nothin'.'**_

'_**Nothin'? So you are crazy then aye?'**_

'_**No.' I reply.**_

'_**No? you're just laughin' at nothin'.'**_

'_**I'm laughing at a message.' I reply.**_

_**He leans forward to look at my phone, sees I'm in my FF inboxes. 'Wad'is'se?'**_

_**I slap his forehead for looking, and he leans back with a sigh, finishes his pie while I tap a reply, and he screws up the bag and throws it at my head like some four year old wanting attention.**_

'_**Must you?'**_

'_**Aye.'**_

_**I roll my eyes and ignore him, turn up the (radio, by the way I love that new Ed Sheeran song, thinking out loud.)**_

'_**Put on something decent!' He demands.**_

'_**It's the radio Dan I can't change what's on it.'**_

_**He grunts and draws pictures on the window with his breath and fingers. 'What's that ya doin' anyway… the, unna?' he points to my phone.**_

'_**Nothin'.'**_

'_**Ya do a whole lot of nothin' huh little sister?' He smirks, he's being all condescending and deliberately annoying. 'Is that the… thing?'**_

'_**The thing?'**_

'_**The book thing, Ben gets pretty excited about it, you know this morning when you'se were… you know talking 'bout… it' (he's super uncomfortable with the fluff scenes)**_

'_**Yeah.'**_

'_**Hmph.'**_

_**Ben arrives back and throws the shopping in at us. 'Hey girl!' He grabs my wrist from his side of the car and drags me through, yes it hurts a little but he's that excited. 'C'mon I got something for ye!'**_

_**I huff and follow him to the bakery window, he smiles at it, and this is somehow the gift? 'What?... cakes?'**_

'_**Look!' He admonishes me.**_

_**I'm looking through the window, cakes, pies…. Hmm ok, people, no, no one we know, posters on the window…'Oh wait are you kidding me Ashton's!' (ashton's is my favorite circus, it hasn't been around for a while.)**_

'_**Yep front row is $40 each!'**_

_**I frown because we really can't afford that right now so I have no idea why he's showing me.**_

'_**Want to go?'**_

_**I nod. 'But we can't.'**_

'_**Hey ya wanna go, we'll go, 'sides I was thinkin'… you know the sex book?'**_

_**I roll my eyes. 'It's not really a sex book.'**_

'_**You know.' He shrugs, and I sigh and nod. 'And you know the circus one? When were finished this one I was thinkin' we could turn that one into a sex book?'**_

'_**They're not…' I don't bother explaining because that's always going to be how he refers to them. 'Ok/'**_

'_**Ok?'**_

'_**Ok.'**_

'_**Ok! So we should go, you know get all inspired again.' He explains.**_

_**We chat about other random things and get back in the car and Dan kicks my chair.**_

'_**Daniel!' I throw something at him, and he stops. 'What was it?'**_

'_**Nothin'.' I answer.**_

'_**Nothin'.' He mocked.**_

'_**We're writing another book…' Ben explains.**_

'_**Oh… which one?'**_

'_**The circus one.' I explain.**_

'_**Oh with will and that chick that you made after Kate-Ivy?' He asks and I nod. 'Man ye haven't picked that up for like three years, I love that one!' He says enthusiastically.**_

_**Ben smirks at me. 'Hey bro… ya still grateful una?'**_

'_**Aye.'**_

'_**Give us $80?'**_

_**I poke Ben and make a donught shape with my hands and pretend to eat it, he nods. 'Yhey what $10?' I nod at him, '$90 bucks?' He corrects.**_

'_**For what?' Dan asks.**_

'_**Dun' matter ya wanna help me out or not?'**_

_**Dan shrugs and pulls his wallet out, wincing because his leg is still pretty sire and hands us a green one. 'Keep the change.'**_

_**I take it and smile. 'You know that walking dead story the one that has you all grossed out?' I asked Dan and I see him nod in the mirror. 'We're gonna do that with the circus one.' I think he's going to be pissed about it but he's not.**_

'_**Oh cool, I have so many ideas, hopefully they'll pick it up and make a movie out of it and I'll get to see Kate-Ivy naked!... allot, oh my god, this is going to be soo good, train cars and hay and apples!'**_

'_**Do you have to make apples a sex thing all the time?' Ben scolds him, but he shrugs and continues his story.**_

'_**You know who kinda looks like Kate-Ivy? (by the way Kate-Ivy is an acrobat/camel trickster in the circus (my mum used t work for the circus so we know allot of people)) that chick from mamma mia!'**_

'_**Dan, firstly, anything I write is not going to hit blockbuster movies, and just because Kate-Ivy inspired Julia, it dosen't mean she has to look like her!' and we argued about that the rest of the way home.**_

**The point though of this story is that, we will be working on my own stories after this, and I'll probably be posting on fiction press, so when were all done here if you'd like to follow that'd be great! Yeah that and I just know how much you guys love the Dan stories haha.**

**Also, the message I was reading was where one of your auto corrects changed, I want more snoggs, to I want more songs… so I was like oh ok, I can work with that, we cleared up the misunderstanding, and you will be getting more snoggs, but also now more songs. So here's a job for you guys… any songs that remind you of Judy? I'll need at least about four, I had a great one in mind but then I forgot, anything you know suggestive that would piss Daryl of if it was playing while Judy is hanging around!**


	55. Love or somethin' close to it

**A/N Do enjoy, but don't get too excited about it! warning for sexual content for those of you who just can't handle that ;) but like I said don't get excited yet.**

Daryl swung the RV door open a little rougher than he should have, but he stepped in quietly. He shrugged out of his vest, and caught sight of Jakob's little face. He bent and ran his fingers through the boys hair and kissed his head, satisfied that he was deeply sleeping. He pat the dog who didn't respond, before crossing to the other side of the van.

He dropped his vest on the floor and quickly shrugged out of the rest of his clothes until he wore only his boxers. He quickly reached and dragged the dividing curtain across the old bar it hung from, his actions were clear and he wasn't hesitating, he did jump a little when he heard her voice though.

'What are you doing?' She whispered.

He finished fixing the curtain. 'Just giving us some privacy.'

'From Jake? She asked when his knees hit the mattress.

Daryl didn't answer, he just leaned over and kissed her, he immediately ran his tongue across her lips demanding entry and groaned lightly when she granted it. Beth was surprised, he was normally hesitant, slower, but this was demanding and purposeful.

It took a minute to realize she was struggling and when he looked down he noticed he had trapped both her arms under the quilt rendering her motionless. He smirked at that, but quickly sat up, pulling the quilts back, climbing under and rolling onto her, planning to resume his task, but this time Beth's hands pushed his chest back a little.

He frowned, wanting to ignore it, but he wouldn't. 'What?'

Beth seemed to be studying him before she answered. 'What happened?'

'What do you mean?'

'Something happened.' She reaffirmed.

He sighed and pulled back a little, frustrated that she always feels the need to talk. 'Wasn't gonna tell ya... didn't want ya getting all riled up over it...'

Beth flipped to her side and braced her head on her arm. 'Tell me anyway... and I'll promise not to get... riled up.' She demanded.

With that Daryl slumped onto his back. 'So I was heading in to mark of my watch, when I saw Judy struggling with a stray in the kitchen tent... I killed it, she was awful grateful.' He said it like it didn't need an explanation, but he knew she would want one.

'Oh geez, what did she do?' Beth sighed.

'Wasn't like that... at first...' Daryl tried to explain. 'Something was different, she was just scared and alone... and I dunno, I felt sorry for her, so I stayed... talked to her for a bit, showed her what she was doin' wrong.' Beth bit her lip and actually looked worried. Daryl hesitated, a wise man would probably stop, but he couldn't lie to Beth. 'So she offered to blow me to say thanks... didn't offer, just tried, I said no...but,'

He felt Beth's hand falter its pattern on his chest and he wondered if honesty really was the best way to go.

'But what?' She frowned. 'Tell me.'

'Just took me a second, you know... ain't had an offer like that in a while...' He admitted.

'You were thinking about it?' She asked, and she didn't even sound angry, but he knew the idea hurt, still it was useless hiding even the smallest of things from her.

Daryl shook his head. 'Nah, I was thinkin' bout you.' He shook his head again, because that sounded like a suck up line if he'd ever heard one. 'I mean... yeah I thought about it, but not coz I like her, I hate her, just... dunno, it's like my brain just thinks sometimes... or it doesn't, but then I thought about you, and I pushed her away...'

'How long did you think about it for?' Her question was thoughtful.

He frowned because it seemed to be an odd question, but he answered with honesty anyway. 'Two... maybe three seconds.'

Beth smiled at him which was confusing. She shrugged in reply to his confusion. 'You're a guy... it's all you think about yeah?'

Daryl frowned deeper, because really that was a little insulting. 'No.' But then he realized that it probably held at least some truth to it. He decided to explain the rest, he may as well tell her the whole thing so she wouldn't have to ask questions later. 'Anyway, she didn't really take no for an answer, so I had to get real mean... then Adam walked in with Amber, and I made a run for here.'

'And now you want to have sex?' Beth asked, and she wasn't being teasing about it, it was almost an accusation?

Daryl blushed, because now it was just damn embarrassing. 'Nah that's not what...' He bit his lip a little, he may as well just tell her, he'd been honest so far, so what did he have to lose? 'Maybe?' He admitted, and he chanced looking at Beth, and saw an amused smile on her face. 'Well I'm only a man...' He teased.

And she didn't seem angry with him at all, in fact she looked amused herself, and her fingers had resumed playing with the skin over his heart, so he took that to mean it was a good thing. So he flipped them, he felt a little protest, but he leant heavily on her, and resumed devouring her mouth before she was able to voice it.

He wasn't interested in taking it slow, he was sick of waiting and trying to make it perfect, because in all reality, as much as he was hoping for that it always got messed up. He slipped his leg in between hers and ground himself into her hip. She pulled her mouth back to try and say something, but he cut her off.

His hands roamed her body, he was a little disappointed that her legs were covered in a pair of sweat pants instead of being bare, it was his own fault he supposed, if he hadn't taken watch in the early part of the night she'd have been warm enough with him.

He let his hand dip under her shirt and reached for her breast, giving it a gentle squeeze and receiving a whimper. He tried again and felt her draw back a little.

'Y'ok?' He questioned, sounding all too concerned.

Beth nodded. 'Just a bit rough...' She answered.

Daryl frowned at that because it felt like he was barley touching her. 'Didn't mean to.' He apologized with a kiss and removed his hand, wrapping it around her waist instead and pulling her into him, making sure to be more gentle.

'No its just...' She paused blushing a little and he pulled back with a frown.

This was unusual, but whatever it was, whatever she was thinking... 'Ya can tell me?' He pushed.

She smiled a little and rocked her head from side to side as if building up momentum to speak. 'You know, sometimes things get a bit tender... because I'm a girl.'

Daryl frowned. 'Glad ya ain't a guy.' Was all he thought, because the comment seemed misplaced?

'No I mean.'

'I know... just didn't realize.' He was aware he was probably a little rougher when he had a goal in mind, girls just aren't as tough, it was probably a little difference in them, Beth was always gentler in everything. With that he leant back over her, somehow placing his weight so she could hardly feel him and he leant back down to kiss her gentler this time, but still just as demandingly. 'Ain't mean ta hurt ya.' He apologized.

Beth shook her head. 'S'ok, just feel yuk and a stomach cramp, but I'm good.' She answered.

With that Daryl started trailing kisses from her jaw over her t-shirt and down to her stomach where he lifted her shirt a little and kissed carefully over her lower abdomen. Slow, heavy, warm pressing kisses, and it only took a minute or two for her to completely forget about the slight discomfort and drag him by his chin back to her lips, he had a wide smile as he settled between her legs.

'What?' She asked, his genuine full faced smiles like that were so rare.

Daryl stared at her for a long moment, with that adorable heavy lidded expression before answering. 'Nothin'.' And with that he bit his lip and closed his eyes and began rocking against her with a slight frown on his face as if he were concentrating.

'Daryl...' He cut her off with another powerful kiss before continuing, his head dipping into the crook of her neck, he shuffled a little and continued, and Beth wondered what all the concentration was about. 'Daryl?' She tried to speak again, but she was cut off by a bolt of electricity going through her.

'Yeah... right there.' He breathed as he felt her legs jerk, and he immediately repeated the action causing it to happen again.

Beth's breathing picked up as he continued, but she still managed to push words out. 'Dary-yl, what are y-you doing!'

He lifted his head, careful not to change his angle. 'Think ya know Beth...' He kissed her temple before continuing.

'Dar-yl!' She grabbed frantically at his hips. 'Stop?' She asked.

And he looked at her briefly, was that an actual _stop,_ or an insecurity, or a fear, or was she just wanting to do more talking? He examined her face for a minute, before deciding she was defiantly enjoying it, he continued, before shaking his head. 'Nah Beth.' And he followed that up with a little more speed, sending her legs jerking almost constantly.

Beth really tried to form more words, but she couldn't, she felt a strange need to push and clench and not stop, but the feeling of his hand tugging at her sweatpants made her reach for his wrist, and that made him falter enough in his movements that she managed to get a word in. 'No.'

Daryl frowned at that and pulled back, swallowing and trying to compose himself. 'What?' He shivered slightly and blinked the haze in his eyes away. _Maybe she did mean stop? Why?_ 'Ya mad at me?' He asked, and Beth's shaking head confounded him further.

'I can't.' She answered.

Which seemed more confusing because for months she'd been telling him to opposite, he pulled back further, not willing to move of her but defiantly separating the lower half of them, he felt pretty shitty about it actually, coming in and demanding this, and surprisingly her saying no? 'Thought ya wanted...'

'I do!' And her quick answer was even more confusing.

There was a frustration bubbling up in his chest now, and he didn't know how to voice it without being mean to her, it took him a moment of careful thought, and testing the conversation in his mind before he trusted himself to talk. 'Are we havin' two conversations here?' He questioned. She shook her head and that didn't help to clear anything up. 'Then what?' He asked and the annoyance and volume in his voice raised a little.

She blushed a bit, and he felt her hands retracting a little from around his waist. She looked towards the bathroom door, simply so she didn't have to look at him. 'It's just not a good time...'

He sat up now, 'Why the hell not? Ain't perfect, but ain't gonna be a good time for it Beth' He snapped, he didn't mean to but he did never the less.

She sat up now and pulled her legs from his and wiggled to her side of the bed. 'That's grose Daryl.'

She was getting more confusing by the second. 'What?'

She glared back at him, and it made him reconsider his approach. 'Look I know it ain't perfect, you know, Jake bein' there.' He jerked his head to the other side of the curtain. 'And this bein' some old RV, and well, maybe I stink like walker or something...but, this is what we've got.' He explained.

And she thought maybe he didn't understand after all. 'Daryl, I've got my period.' She stated making sure he understood.

'What?' The complete look of shock on his face confirmed that he didn't know.

She wrinkled her brow. 'I told you!'

'The hell you did!' He answered, flopping of his knees and back to his butt, this was defiantly a game over, and it felt pretty defeating.

'Yeah I said you know, I'm a bit tender...and you... I said I was a girl.' She explained feeling a little more embarrassed about it.

Daryl thought about that for a moment, before sitting back down a little. 'Well I didn't know that... I thought I was bein' rough... Din' know you was in the red zone already.' He shrugged.

'The red zone?' Beth huffed an almost laugh.

Daryl shrugged. 'Yeah, you know, ain't want me near ya, stop tryna jump me, angry as hell at everything.' He explained, avoiding the obvious explanation, and it earned him an audible laugh from Beth, which actually concerned him, because why the hell was she even in a good mood, usually around this time he knew because she was all jittery and wanted him far far away? 'Ya ok... ya meant to be all antsy ain't ya?'

Beth grinned and pulled him to lie back down, pulling the quilt back up. 'No not always, sometimes... I just usually get embarrassed I guess.'

Daryl sighed and wrapped his arms around her, attempting to be understanding. 'Ain't needa be, just say so... told ya to just tell me.' He answered, as he rocked and tried to find a position that was at least a little comfortable.

Beth quirked her lip a little. 'I know, I just am... well I'm not really anymore... sorry though... I really wanted to, it's just not right now, that'd be a bit grose.'

Daryl shrugged. 'Surrounded in blood all day... some guys would..' He smirked, but the frown on Beth's face told him she didn't appreciate that. 'Not that I'm sayin'... I was just teasin', I...' He shut up, because that's not what he was saying, but it sure did sound like it.

'Guess I could try doing that thing that Judy was offering ya?' She teased back. Daryl huffed a sound of amusement, trying to hide the embarrassment, and then let out a chuckle, slapping her hip softly, in an _oh god really gesture._

'I don't really know how.' Beth continued, but she was cut off with his lips on hers.

'Nah Beth, s'ok.' He let out another little chuckle, thinking he should probably re-think that. 'Ya more than that... sure I can wait a few days.'

Beth smiled and flipped onto her back, as if she was done with the conversation, but she quickly started a new one. 'So what did you say to Judy?'

'What?'

'You said you were mean?' Beth explained.

Daryl rolled onto his own back, thrusting his arms up behind his head, determined to ignore his body. 'Told her I ain't into wizards sleeves.'

Beth looked at him. 'Wizard sleeves?'

Daryl frowned and glanced down to her. 'Yeah...'

'What's that?' Beth's voice hitched with amusement, or embarrassment at having to ask.

Daryl quickly looked back to the roof. 'Ya ain't heard of that?'

'M-m'

'You know when ya junks all stretched out...'

Beth frowned. 'What?' She tried to think over any conversations she'd had before the turn, in her first year of high school, but drew a blank. 'Yours or hers?' She finally asked.

Daryl frowned, embarrassed himself now, but he continued anyway. 'Hers... you know your cooch is so stretched it's all dangly with a bunch of left over room like a wizards sleeve...'

Beth snorted embarrassingly, before the realization dawned on her. 'Wait that doesn't really happen? How does it?'

Daryl shifted a little and frowned . 'You playin' me?' He asked seriously, and when he saw her shaking her head he hesitantly answered. 'Nah, just you know loose...from overuse.' Beth looked a little mortified. 'It's not a thing... it's just something people say... ya ain't gonna have to strap it up or nutin'.' Daryl explained. 'Ya ain't heard no one talkin'? He asked with a little surprise.

'Daryl I was fourteen, my friends were talking about French kissing... Since then I've had my family, and well, you guys... which one of you do you think would have had a conversation like that with me huh? Not like Maggie would really say stuff like that. No one's talked to me about this at all.' She affirmed.

'The Woodbury kids?' He suggested, because she had a pretty good point.

She smiled softly. 'I didn't really talk to them like that.'

Daryl shifted again, before deciding. 'Guess that ain't a bad thing.'

Beth sighed. 'Sorry I have no clue... that's why I've been so shy about it.' She admitted.

Daryl rolled back to her and put his arm over her stomach. 'Nah its cool... can break ya in however I wanna... that's hot.' He answered, nuzzling into her neck.

Beth pushed him away with a small giggle. 'Anyway, you were telling a story?'

Daryl grumbled. 'Yeah, anyway, then I banged on about how I'm only into young girls, and by that I meant you, but I was just tryin' to... I dun' know, discount any possibility of her... then Adam walked in and warned me of Amber again, and then I came back here.'

Beth smiled, linking her fingers with Daryl's and started playing with them, this was the hand that had all five fingers in perfect order, and she smiled at that. He gave her a strange look at first but decided he liked the feeling so he let her continue. 'He's getting annoying huh?' Beth asked.

Daryl let out a heavy breath, and seemed a little too serious. 'Nah, I don't mind, he's doin' what's right, gotta respect the man for that.' Daryl answered honestly.

Beth rolled into him again, using his shoulders to help herself turn, and she noticed the slight wince as she did so. 'This is right though.' She affirmed.

Daryl swallowed and nodded, looking down to their entwined hands and squeezing a little. 'Yeah... for us it is, just in general... you know.'

Beth smiled and kissed him gently. 'Thank you Daryl.' His brow furrowed, and that made her smile and answer the silent question. 'For not telling me that you believe it's wrong.'

Daryl glanced down her body and back up to her eyes, examining, deciding, before answering. 'Hardly even feels wrong anymore... s' like telliin' an Irishman drinkin's wrong... just don't make no sense for it to be wrong no more.' He answered.

Daryl sighed contentedly, apparently he'd said the right thing by the way she had hugged him, leaning into him, pulling him in, clinging to him, it was warm, and real and so so right. He squeezed her back, wrapping her into him, forgetting everything but her, and he felt his heart twinge, not with that painful throb, but something else entirely, he wasn't willing to move for a long while, but she eventually pulled back.

'Roll over.' She told him in a quiet voice. He looked confused. 'Go on, roll over!' She answered.

With that Daryl rolled to his back and then to his side, and as soon as he settled, he felt her cool fingers at his shoulder, rubbing the muscle that ached with expert hands. He groaned when her other hand pushed at the tender spot on the bottom of his back, in a way that actually made him push into it instead of pull away.

'Beth, you don't have t...ahh... to do this.' He told her, completely engaged in the pleasurable disappearance of the days aches.

Beth didn't answer, she just leaned up and kissed his ear, and continued.

It was another ten minutes of her vigorous rubbing and squeezing and pressing, and all round lovely touches for him to speak, he'd been thinking it from the moment her hands grazed onto his shoulder, but he only just figured out the words. 'Never thought I'd let ya...do this...' He whispered, as if it was some holy secret. 'See me, be with me...' He was trying to explain what he meant, but it was difficult. 'Never thought I'd let anyone touch me.' Daryl confessed, because he didn't think it was possible for someone to touch him in such a way that actually made him feel good instead of hurt. His back had never felt a kind touch like this, it had always shielded him from being hit, always took the brunt of something painful, he offered it when he wanted to leave, when he couldn't run, when he had to protect himself, but this was different. This was someone running their hands over something that held so much pain for him, and offering it love, soothing, gentleness, something he had never felt, this wasn't him hiding, but instead opening, offering himself, and amazingly it didn't feel scary, but it felt right. He shifted his face in the pillow, rubbing away the stupid tear that had formed in one of his eyes, hoping Beth wouldn't know what he was doing. 'Like this...' He concluded.

Beth frowned at that, and let her fingers slip from their work to trail gently over his back. 'Is it ok though... isn't it?'

'...Yeah.' Came the almost silent whisper.

Beth thought about that, because he didn't sound all that convincing. 'Do you like it?'

Daryl considered that, of course he liked the feeling, but the question felt like it was more... did he like being open... venerable to someone? He tried to still the flinching muscles, it felt amazing that's for sure, it still felt foreign and his body wasn't used to it, but yes, his heart was, and that was pretty amazing . 'Yeah, feels good.' He answered, and when her fingers picked up the massage again he decided to elaborate. 'Feels good knowin' you won't hurt me.' And it was more than that she's not hitting at him, he meant it as a final statement._ She_ won't hurt him.

With that he felt a small kiss land between his shoulder blades, where he knew the ugliest of his scars rested. 'Knowin' that ya love me anyway...' He confirmed. And with that her fingers left his back and wrapped around his torso.

'Yeah I do love you...' Beth answered, and she thought about throwing something in there, some joke about not being the only woman or something but she didn't want to ruin the tenderness that he was somehow craving.

She felt his arm pull at her hand so she rested flush against his back and he kissed it before placing their joined hands over his heart. 'Yeah me to.' He answered, and with that Beth closed her eyes peacefully, knowing she was holding into the most precious thing in the world.

It was so hidden, so secret that most people probably didn't even know it existed, but she did, and she held it, his precious heart beating against her fingers, and yeah, it felt strong and sure and perfect.

**A/N ok, so, no Beth's not being a door mat, she's just being understanding, sorry again for the unfortunate circumstances, but Daryl's almost got the I love you words so that's pretty cool!**

**Thanks to the guest for giving me the right words, and standing up for my story 3, and yeah Smitty... I was pretty sure you's did call it esky, but I explained just in case, and I looked up 'what do Americans call a boot?' it said shoe, so I tried 'car boot' and got something about parking meters, so hence I explained it at the start of the chapter, I now know its cooler and trunk! But yes I do try to google, but every now and then I'm not sure, so until it goes through my lovely beta (saravi) I post anyway, but she's almost caught up now, so yay!**

**Thanks everyone for being so encouraging, and a special thank you to ANNIEROSEWOOD, TWDWITHDRAWL, BETHYLNUTTS, CAMILLEJONES and MISSY96, and the mom with the little boy who shoots spaghetti from his nose, its late and I can't remember which one you are without looking you up! you guys have been especially encouraging... oh and the ever intimidating DARYLDIXONSLOVER lol, you crack me up!**


	56. Is somethin' up?

**A/N, hope you enjoy :)**

Elizabeth dropped the small cotton bag into Beth's lap, before taking a seat next to her.

'Hey Bethy...' She didn't get a reply, so she continued anyway. 'Dale found it...' The older woman rubbed Beth's back softly, attempting to comfort her.

Beth took a deep breath and wiped at her swollen eyes, before carefully pawing the bag open, looking in at the coffee beans. 'What's this?' She asked, because, although she knew it was coffee, she didn't understand the gift.

'It'll help with the asthma.'

'Oh.' Beth offered a small smile. 'Thanks Elizabeth.'

'We will get through it, ok... you bet we will. C'mon...' The older lady cupped Beth's face. 'Don't let him see you crying.' She advised, and Beth quickly wiped at her eyes and tried to smile.

'I'm sorry.' She sniffed. 'I'm just so scared sometimes, I can't stand seeing him like that.'

Elizabeth gave her a knowing look and nodded across to the boys who were standing around with Slayer, Bill and Grant, and she caught Jakob's eye. 'None of us know how much time we have...even if his time is shorter...' Elizabeth's voice hitched at the thought. 'Even so, it's no use crying now... be grateful for what you have while you have it, right now, he's breathing, and he's ok. He's just worrying about you crying.'

Beth nodded. 'Yeah I know.' And she knew exactly how right Elizabeth was, but it didn't make it any easier when she saw Jakob dropped to the ground and struggling to hold onto his life.

'C'mon, let's take our chairs over...just be closer to him.' Elizabeth suggested, Beth gave her eyes a final wipe before following her.

The two women sat close enough to the boys to hear them, but far enough back that they weren't in the road. Bill and Dale were going over plans, while Daryl was teaching Jakob about the chainsaw they found. He was excited at the easy work, despite that it was too noisy to use immediately, next winter when the walkers were slower, and when they needed wood more often, they'd have a much easier way of getting it.

'Yeah, that's right... twenty to one.' Daryl commended him.

'That's 46 mls to a quarter gallon?' Jakob asked.

'M-hm!' Daryl answered, and he couldn't hide the pride in his voice from the boy learning something so simple.

Dale and Bill went about chatting about a run they were planning in the next day or so, it was going to be a big one, three days, and Jakob eagerly watched Daryl. 'What are you doing now?'

Daryl glanced to Jakob. 'Cleaning.' He twirled the wire in his hands. 'This here's the best tool you can have for a chain saw, will get ya out of all sorts of trouble.' He advised him.

'You have to have one end flattened of like this though.' Dale added pointing to the end.

'Why?' Jakob asked.

'So it can scrape out the chips.' Bill explained and Jakob nodded, before looking up to Beth, still concerned about seeing her crying earlier.

Daryl didn't miss it and he gave him a slight nod. Jakob climbed of the bench and crossed to her sitting on her lap 'Dads teaching me how to fix a chainsaw... he says we can go woodcutting next winter!'

'Yeah?' Beth smiled, although it was a little strained still.

'Yeah!' Jakob nodded. 'I can't wait till winter, so I don't have to wear this again!' He scratched at his mask.

Beth rubbed his back absent mindedly as he explained all he had learnt about the chainsaw. She nodded eagerly along with Elizabeth, as Jakob trailed of onto other things he had learnt that morning.

'Heard there's another run?' Adam asked Bill. Beth looked up surprised at the man's sudden presence.

'Yeah.' Bill answered. 'Ya want in?'

Adam nodded. 'We need a few things where are we going?'

'North, Daryl says he knows about a couple of centres that haven't been raided too badly.' Dale answered.

'Ok, well we need the usual, and some clothes, promised the wife a new jacket and Sandra says her boy needs new shoes.' Adam added.

'Yeah Jake too.' Daryl tells Bill, carefully avoiding any direct conversation with Adam, who's already writing on the list.

Adam looked to Daryl, acknowledging him for the first time during the encounter. 'You not coming?' Adam asks.

Daryl shakes his head. 'Nah man, I'm staying... there's a vet collage I wanna look out, three hours west, might have something for Jake, it's pretty dangerous though, so it's just going to be me and Grant, we will be back within the day.' He told him as he marked the chain on the saw and worked the file across the first tooth.

'Maybe I should stay myself.' Adam decided.

Daryl huffed and looked to Jake. 'C'mere, remember two times.' He passed the file to Jake. 'Make sure you count right or it's gonna kick all over the place ok.' Jakob nodded and concentrated. 'I ain't gonna be the only one here Adam.' Daryl answered.

Adam eyed him carefully. 'Still, guess we can wait. Were not desperate for anything.'

Beth was about to get up and say something, stick up for Daryl, but he shook his head at her, frowned, and shifted on his feet. 'Maybe I can take a huntin' trip?'

Dale slapped the back of his head like he said something wrong, and Daryl rubbed it as if it had really hurt, and scowled at the older man.

'Ya don't need to clear out, his problem not yours.' Dale told him, but it was only just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

'All done!' Jakob answered and Daryl ignored the others in favour of checking Jakob's work and with an approving well done he lifted him down.

'Good work son!' He commended him with a high five, lifting him of the bench and kissing his head before dropping him to the ground.

Jakob looked to Beth with a wide smile as he climbed up on her lap.

'Pretty happy with yourself huh!' Elizabeth poked his stomach.

Jakob lent in and nodded after slapping her hand away. 'Don't nan!... I like when he says that!' Jakob glanced back to Daryl, making sure he hadn't heard the confession.

'Well so you should, you do a good job it's nice to be told!'

Jakob shook his head. 'When he calls me that... makes me feel as good as the others.'

Elizabeth chuckled and magically produced another sherbet lolly for the boy.

Jakob took it and stuffed it in his mouth gratefully as he felt Daryl's hand warm on his back. 'Ya are, every bit as good.' Daryl assured him with another quick kiss to his head, smiling at the boys surprise that he wasn't as covert as he thought. Daryl chuckled slightly before kneeling down, his arms resting across Jakob's legs and scratching at Beths stomach for attention, as he spoke to her. 'Anything special ya gonna be needing?'

'Just Jake's shoes, and if they can find canned blueberries.' She replied.

'No clothes? Need another hairbrush don't ya?' He suggested, because last time they forgot a few things.

Beth nodded. 'Yeah ok.'

'Nothin' special, womens...stuff? anything?' He asked.

'You need new socks...' She suggested, racking her brain for anything else.

Daryl nodded. 'What about you?' He asked Elizabeth.

'It's ok, I think we only needed the ropes, and pins.' She answered.

Daryl nodded. 'Jake?' He asked, just because he didn't want the boy to feel left out. And he scratched at the boys little arrow tattoo, that he proudly wore now it was warmer. He winked at him, reminding him how proud he was of him, or maybe just asserting he was still alive and healthy after this morning's attack.

'More lego?' He asked enthusiastically.

Daryl nodded and stood ruffling Jakob's hair and bending to kiss Beth's temple and turning. He instantly shrunk back down on himself when he caught Adam glaring at him again. He'd almost forgotten how comfortable he was feeling to show them affection, even in public, until he caught Adams gaze. The man didn't even look like he knew he was doing it, but Daryl saw it anyway. He stepped forward ignoring it, and motioned to Bill who was recording everything. 'Shoes for Jake, he'll be needing an 8, coupl'a pairs of socks, for me, hairbrush and Lego... if ya can.' Daryl said and Bill marked it down.

Grant smiled. 'What about water pistols? The kids would love that! You know those super pump ones they were all over the TV! Reckon we could find a toy store?' He asked enthusiastically, and Jakob left Beth's lap to ask what a water pistol was because it sounded exciting, and Grant quickly bent to tell him.

Beth laughed at him. But she felt Elizabeth's hand on her arm and she looked back to her. She nodded at Adam with a concerned look. 'What's all that about?' She asked quietly.

Beth looked at her, and jerked her head to the van before they both stood taking their chairs. 'You want to stay here?' She asked Jake and after receiving a nod she headed back towards the van, waiting until they were out of earshot she told Elizabeth. 'Adam just doesn't like Daryl... because of me.'

'Because of you?' Elizabeth asked.

'Because of us... you know, he thinks Daryl's a pedo, that he's going to rape Amber as soon as he gets the chance.' Beth almost laughed, it's not that she found it funny, it was just so ridiculous.

'Daryl... it's taken you how long to bed the man' Elizabeth almost giggled. 'I didn't know, Dale never mentioned it, but that's nothing unusual, it's hard to drag a sentence out of him when he's annoyed about something, I have noticed the tension though.' Elizabeth commented.

Beth smiled at her. 'Yeah it's been going on for a while, Daryl made it worse the other night...' Beth commented, continuing as soon as Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. 'Judy cornered him, and he told her he's not interested in old women...' She paused as they stepped into Elizabeth's van. 'She's like what his age a couple years older... actually he said he only likes girls.' Beth snorted.

'She told Adam?'

'No he was there... I mean he heard it, I think he just keeps getting the wrong end of the stick.' Beth laughed.

'No he's just sensitive about it.' Elizabeth explained. '...Before we arrived, this group was fairly unsavoury... Bill told us, that Adam cleaned it out... there were allot of men that... expected things for keeping the women safe.'

Beth frowned. 'Oh.. yeah Daryl mentioned that... I didn't realize... still it's unfair Daryl's not like that.'

Elizabeth pulled out a packet of biscuits and offered Beth one. 'Don't worry about it, he's not a bad man, neither is Daryl, they will work it out.'

Beth took a biscuit and leant back in the chair, changing her demeanour a little. 'I know... so...I um...'

'Spit it out.' Elizabeth encouraged, and caught Beth's blush. 'What?'

'I haven't... bedded him yet.' She admitted with a casual shrug.

'What?!' Elizabeth asked suddenly becoming as animated as a teenage girl. 'Good lord girl, why not? We've given you enough opportunities!'

Beth shrugged. 'I know, but well, it just hasn't worked out...'

'What about the night we took Jake? I know we came back early but you had nearly two hours!'

'I know... we just talked and... well if you'd given us a few more minutes... we were close, really close. But I don't know, we keep getting caught up with talking and then we were fighting, and the sometimes we just want to be with each other, you know, not doing anything, and then I've got my period, and then I don't know it just keeps not happening... it's really getting on my nerves.' Beth admitted.

'I'd imagine it would!' Elizabeth smiled. 'You going to have to just take charge and do it Beth!'

'Yeah I know...'

'No, nerves be damned, you're going to have to tie him down and make him, this is getting beyond a joke!' The woman asserted.

Beth blushed again. 'I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me.'

'With you? ... there most certainly is, and there's something wrong with him too, is he impotent? Goodness!' Elizabeth laughed. 'You have both been different, you know closer, I just figured...'

'We are...that's nice, I mean, we are closer, all the time, but it just... I don't even know what to do anymore, it's all I'm thinking about now days, I'm going to lose my mind!' Beth complained.

'Over what?' Dale asked as he stepped in the van sending both the gossiping women jumping.

'Nothing.' Elizabeth answered quickly.

'Oh it's like that is it?' Dale smirked, stepping to the side to make room for Daryl and Jakob.

'No Dale, it's not.' She stated sternly.

He slipped into the seat beside her. 'That interesting huh?' He asked nuzzling the woman's neck. 'Maybe I'll just have to get it out of you later?'

Daryl looked to Beth with a sheepish smile that was almost saying, _oh god let's get out of here_, and almost said, _hey we should do that too! _Whatever it was saying, it was defiantly a new and rather adorable look Beth decided.

'Dale behave! I'm not telling you, so sit up and stop acting like a dog on heat!' Elizabeth admonished.

Daryl smirked back at Beth as he stole a biscuit for both himself a Jakob. He caught her look, and took it as an invitation to sit in the seat next to Beth and perch Jakob on his lap.

'Fine...' dale sounded somewhat annoyed, but turned his attention back to them. 'You kids up for some cards?' Dale asked.

Beth nodded enthusiastically, and the older man crossed to get them, dismissing Jakob to play with his cars on the bed with Slayer and commenting that he's his favourite grandson, despite the fact that he's the only one he has. Jakob laughed, and they settled in for the evening together.

**A/N please review :)**


	57. Sumfin' ta shock me

**A/N Thank you to Bethylnuts and everyone else who makes time for this story daily despite having busy lives. :D much appreciated! Here's some cuteness.**

Beth slipped her boots on, usually they were the most normal of boots, but right now they looked fairly ridiculous, but she didn't have allot to work with, she stood up and looked at her legs, they looked a little longer when they were clad in shorts so short that they really just looked like underwear. She tied her shirt up so that it exposed her stomach and popped her top button, revealing a hint of her green bra. She platted her hair and gave herself a firm nod. 'Alright Daisy Duke.' She almost laughed at herself. 'Let's do this thing!'

She stepped out the van and caught the look of surprise on Elizabeth's face, but then it turned into a smirk and she nodded at her finally understanding why Beth had been so secretive when she asked her to watch Jake for a while. Beth smiled coyly at her and held her arms out a little way and when she got a thumbs up she took another breath and headed towards the group of men that Daryl was with.

Building this watchtower was the final thing Daryl wanted to do before they left for DC, well for now, in reality she knew he was going to keep making excuses until they found Judith, and she was ok with that. But this was apparently it, setting up a second guard tower on the north side so the camp would be safer before the left it.

She should have been sauntering over, but she was to nervous for that, it was a brisk walk and her hands sort of covered her stomach as she gained on him. It took her a second to figure out which one he was. Since the last run all the men seemed to have conformed to blue denim jeans, someone stumbled across a clothing store and grabbed a bunch of them, it was fine until you were trying to pick one blue butt out of a bunch that are bending, chopping and sawing.

It's odd, she didn't recognize his butt, it was Dales she recognized, that's what was odd about it, that she knew Dales for some reason, it was the way he was bent with his knee stretched to the side a little, yeah that was Dale which meant that man next to him was Daryl, they were never far apart anymore. He shifted a little so that he was on an angle rather that facing straight away from her, and the shift showed off his vest and she recognized that was defiantly him.

She took a few more steps, eagerly fumbled a stray piece of hair out of her eyes and took a deep breath, she was nervous, but she wanted to do this, make him smile, feel good about it like he had done for her. She stood a little taller and put her hands on her hips and jutted them forward slightly before taking a deep breath, moistening her lips and wolf whistling. A few guys looked up, but Daryl didn't so she tried again, and this time, pretty much everyone other than Daryl and Dale were looking. She rolled her eyes, of course neither of them would notice, they're the only two in the group that thought so little of themselves that they wouldn't even consider anyone would whistle them.

She wolf whistled louder this time, and Daryl still didn't look up, he was busy bending a piece of wood for Dale to chop, Dale looked up though and slapped Daryl on the head when he saw her, she could see by the way Daryl looked at him the action annoyed him but then he followed his line of sight, when it found her he let go of the wood and it flung up and hit his chin knocking him over.

Beth winced as he shook his head a little and stared back at her from his new seat on the floor, one hand grabbing at his jaw and wiggling it experimentally before blinking and wiping his face.

'Daryl?...' She called.

He didn't move, Dale kicked his leg gently after a moment and that seemed to spur him into action, he stood and pretty much ran to her. 'What are ya doin' Beth?' He asked, but he didn't let her answer, he started grabbing at her shirt, and it felt like he was trying to pull it down.

She slapped his hands away. 'S'hot out, or is it just you?' She said it loud enough that most of the surrounding men could hear her and there were various chuckles and whistles and Beth even thought she heard someone yell out 'Oh yeah Daryl.' She tried to swallow away her blush, and she thought he actually looked a little angry, but she was determined to go through with this.

He shook his head and shrugged his vest of planning on wrapped it around her. 'What are you even doing?' He asked, but seeing as she stilled his hands it just felt like he was stripping.

She leaned up to his ear and said quietly. 'Putting on a show for you...show Adam that I want this, and anyone else...laying claim to you, in case Judy's forgotten... your cute when your embarrassed!'

Daryl knew his face was red already and he groaned with defeat. 'Beth... ya can't.'

'I am...' She jutted her chin forward and reached up to him attempting to kiss him, but he pulled away a little, not allot, probably not enough for anyone else to notice but she did.

'Beth I ain't gonna do that in front of everyone, put this on before anyone sees ya.' And she would've thought he was upset, but as he'd stepped towards her, shielding her with his own body from anyone else's eyes, and as much as he was trying to sound firm his hand was lightly pushing his knuckles across her stomach.

'No.'

'Beth, I'm not kidding!'

'I'm not naked or anything.' She argued.

Daryl actually let out a strangled chuckle. 'Nah, but still, dun' want no one else lookin' at ya like that.' He answered.

Beth slumped slightly. 'You've totally ruined my plan you know!' She complained.

Daryl furrowed his brow in confusion, _she had a plan?._ 'What?'

Beth laughed. 'So I was going to come out here looking sexy as hell... well you know, trying to. And I was going to call you over, kiss you and then turn around and leave you all smug like so that you could be like, '_yeah totally not my idea, but totally my girls..._'... or something?'

Daryl snorted a little. 'Well that's real cute, but get ya'self covered up wont you?'

Beth rolled her eyes and reached for the vest, as Daryl shuffled her along a little, before getting a wicked idea. She slipped her foot behind his knee and before he could register, she had used his own moves on him and sent him crashing to the ground.

She had the cheek to look shocked at his new position when he looked up at her from the ground. 'Thankyou mister Dixon!' She grinned down at him, as she decided to bend down by him and place herself across his thighs.

'Fer what?' He looked completely confused, a little annoyed as his eyes flicked to the line of men still watching the encounter, but mostly confused.

'All those fighting lessons.' She shrugged, dropping her voice as she looked intently at him. She leaned down trying to hide her smile. 'Now I'm going to kiss you, you can fight me, or... if you kiss me back I'll cover up and go away, so it's up to you.' Beth advised as she leant down and pressed her lips to his.

At first he felt stiff under her, but a moment later she felt his lips softer and his hands glide, and she laughed into his mouth and she felt him grin slightly, so that seemed good enough, she sat back up and took his vest shrugging it on again. 'Good boy.' She smiled, tugging lovingly at his chin hairs.

'U-huh.' He sort of replied.

And with that Beth stood up and left him looking shocked and dumb founded, because she figured her job was done.

**A/N hope you all enjoyed, I know it was a bit shorter tonight, sorry I'm Just really tired :D please review!**


	58. Plans ruined by Somethin'

**A/N side note to BETHYLNUTS, thanks so much for saying this story helps get you through some tough stuff in your life. I don't think that's stupid at all, I think that's really sweet, sometimes focusing on the smallest of things does help. Anyway thanks for the compliment and I so hope life gets easier soon.**

**And I got a little behind on replying to reviews, so deepest apologies if I missed reviewing to anyone. :D please enjoy.**

'You mad with me?' Beth asked from her chair where she was sewing a hole in jakob's pants.

Daryl glanced at her sideways and kept chewing on the toast he had. He felt her foot nudge his thigh, and he looked up at the sky wondering what sort of day it was going to be. 'M-nm.' He shrugged.

'What's that mean?' She asked

He shrugged again and put another piece of toast in his mouth.

'Well there's m-m witch is no, or there's m-hm which is yes... what's m-nm?' He still didn't answer. 'You know what it is, she decided. 'It's you eating pigs feet and not telling me what you're thinking, wasting time... that's what it is, so don't you go m-nming me Daryl!'

'Just leave it Beth!' He answered as he took another bite and reached for the next piece of toast.

She sighed and broke the cotton with her teeth. 'I'm sorry ok... I thought you'd actually like it, you know, making you feel special n' that.'

'I told ya to get something on, n ya tripped me up, how did ya think I'd like it?' He answered, but he still wasn't looking at her.

Beth dropped the pants in her lap with frustration. 'I don't know... it was a dumb idea, trust me I won't be doing_ that_ again...'

'Good.' He took another bite and finally spared her a look, that was a mistake, he shouldn't have looked at her because he now saw the hurt look on her face. He took a deep breath and shoved the toast to the side of his mouth. 'Ain't that ya din' look good...' He chewed that piece and returned to watching Jakob and Jonathon playing piggie in the middle with Slayer and an old tennis ball. 'Or that I don't like ya bein' like that... I guess...'

Beth watched him, he took another bite and glanced back at her before continuing. 'Just don't like everyone else seein' ya like that...s'mbarrasin'... ya know havin' people gawkin' at us...n' I'm a guy, I know...'

He trailed off and Beth rolled her eyes and rethreaded the needle before asking. 'Ya know what?'

He shrugged and licked his fingers clean before reaching for his final piece of toast. 'Know what we think 'bout... ya know, when no ones 'round... dun' want anyone thinkin' of ya like that... just makes me angry, so... just don't do it ok.'

Beth smiled at the admission, she didn't mind him being a little possessive. 'Ok.' And stuck the needle in the pants where she was sure she wouldn't lose it before leaning forward. 'So you liked what I was wearin' tho?'

Daryl tried to frown, but decided on nodding. If she was going to play like that he could too. 'Liked what ya weren't wearin' more...' He smirked.

'Maybe I should try it again?' She asked.

'I mean it Beth, don' want no one seeing you like that.' He answered before shoving the last mouthful of toast in his mouth and dropping the plate to the ground beside him. 'I ain't kiddin'.'

'I mean when it's just us?' She smiled.

'Oh' he wiped his fingers on his jeans and looked over to Jakob again pretending to be uninterested. 'Yeah... that's fine.'

'Fine?' Beth pushed as she leant back and continued her sewing.

He looked at her for a minute, amusement flashing on his face. 'Mean it would be good... Like that stupid rich bitch underwear too.' He answered and Beth caught him chewing on his lip as he looked out across the oval.

Beth shifted a little and threw her feet up on his lap as she continued sewing, he gave her a look that was almost a glare but she smiled regardless of it. 'God Daryl, you're so confusing, couple days ago you wanted to jump me in the middle of the oval, now I can't touch ya?'

He didn't apologize, she didn't expect him too, he did relax a little though and let one of his hands rest across her ankles.

'You're probably crazy you know that? I'd take you to a physiatrist if I could...'

'I ain't nuts.' He argued.

Beth laughed a little. 'Well ya act it!'

He pinched her a little and she kicked him softly in response. 'Just so damn confusin' sometimes.' He answered.

'Yeah I know you are!' She smiled at him, but didn't slow in her sewing. 'It's ok, I know it's not easy for you... just sometimes you act like it is, and so I forget.' She admitted with an understanding tone.

Daryl eyed her carefully. 'Guess I should think me'self pretty lucky huh.'

Beth looked up and furrowed her brow a little before returning to her work. 'Why?'

Daryl shrugged. 'Shoulda thrown me out on me arse by now.'

'I won...'

'I know... I know that.' He reaffirmed. 'Just sayin' ya should.' Beth felt him tickle her ankle a little. 'Glad ya ain't tho.'

'Yeah' she agreed. 'So what displeasure do we owe the mood swings too anyway?' She questioned.

'Ain't mood swings, just...' He paused. 'I ain't good at this talkin' thing..' Daryl decided when his words failed again.

Beth snorted at that. 'Yeah that's the truth!' She agreed. 'It's ok, I know anyway... some days you forget that it's hard for you, and other days you can't remember how it's not.'

'M.' Daryl agreed, that's probably the problem, it was a good thing Beth understood him even when he didn't.

'It's not me, and it's not you, it just is... it's a life time of being treated like you're lower that dog poo... when you're ignored its better, safer. It's the same with me, I'm probably always going to take it personally when you don't talk, that's a lifetime of being loved... only being given the cold shoulder when something's wrong. For you it's a relief, for me it's sad. One day you're going to realize that you can be like me, when you're used to being loved enough, and you'll forget forever...'

'Hm.' Daryl huffed a laugh and squeezed her ankle again, it was a silent but encouraging gesture. Beth smiled at him, and he didn't mind it.

A few more moments of silence passed before she took a deep breath and said what she was thinking. 'You know we should just have sex.' She answered his silence.

She felt him shift a little, but it wasn't uncomfortable it was... excited? 'Now?'

'When I finish sewing... you got anything on for the rest of the day?' She asked.

Daryl groaned, annoyed at the reminder of reality. 'Yeah I gotta carve that boar for dinner pretty soon, and I'm on watch.' He grimaced.

'Oh.' Beth huffed. 'Could join ya for watch?'

Daryl blushed a little at that, but then shook his head. 'Nah, gotta do it proper, wouldn't be ok if something happened coz I wasn't watchin'... could ask someone to take it for me?'

Beth shook her head. 'No you've done that twice this week.' She decided.

Daryl sighed a little. 'Never gonna find time are we?' He sounded sad like a child that just lost his favourite teddy.

Beth laughed. 'Probably not... sucks... it's all I can think about lately!' Beth admitted with a blush that only got deeper when Daryl looked at her with a smug smile.

He shrugged for a moment. 'Ain't doin' enough killin'.' He answered.

'What?'

'Ain't killin' enough, keeps ya mind of it 'till you're too tired to care.' He answered.

'Is that what you do? Go out killing walkers when you're thinking of me?' Beth asked screwing up her nose.

Daryl shrugged. 'It's gotta get done.'

'Don't it make you feel... dirty?' She asked.

'I ain't thinking about it when I'm killin'... that's the point.' He explained.

'That why you've been going hunting so much?' Beth asked as she finished of the jeans and held them up inspecting her patchwork.

'Nah that's different... drive ma'self nuts thinkin' bout ya then, but we need ta eat.' He admitted as he took to chewing on his thumb.

'Really?' Beth asked. 'Out there, it's so dangerous, and the woods it's so...' She stopped herself because that made sense, he was as much in love with the woods as he was with her. 'You know, Elizabeth says there's something wrong with us...'

'You talk to Elizabeth bout it?' He almost snapped.

Beth paused for a minute before smiling. 'Yeah... it's normal Daryl, girls talk about that stuff.' she answered.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably again. 'Ya have to?'

Beth snorted. 'It's not like there's anything to talk about anyway... you don't talk to Dale?'

Daryl shrugged. 'Once... just coz I din' know... stuff, ain't having regular chitchats though.'

'What didn't you know?' Beth sounded surprised, she laughed a little. 'There's something you didn't know?'

Daryl shrugged. 'You know... coz its ya first time n' all... Merle used ta like your sor... younger ones, I know they mostly didn't take it so well, so I thought.. you know...' Daryl wasn't looking at Beth, he was staring of somewhere that was nowhere and chewing his thumb. 'Turns out there ain't much more to it, sides takin' it a bit slower.'

'Too slow... I'll thank Dale for it then shall I?' Beth laughed.

'Well.' Daryl shrugged a little, 'Ya know what I mean.'

Beth couldn't help the soft smile that spread on her face. 'You're really sweet Daryl.' He shrugged again in reply .'But I don't even care anymore, I was nervous at first, but now... I'm just sick of waiting, I'm not scared or anything... just you know.'

'Yeah I know...' Daryl shifted again and wished he hadn't because he felt her foot graze him and he hadn't even realized he was getting hard until then, he shifted again, but Beth's foot wiggled and he looked to her, and smirked at her devilish smile, she knew what she was doing now. 'Real tease ain't ya.' He squirmed a little but then gave up.

Beth stood and took a new seat on his lap. 'Yeah... but you like it!' She caught his eyes darting around and she grabbed his face. 'It's ok, no ones really around, I looked for you, no need to be embarrassed.' She laughed, and he didn't know whether to be annoyed that she was making fun of him or just be pleased that she knew what he was thinking and had acted ahead of time. Apparently his body was pleased, so he let her kiss him, and hell, he enjoyed it.

It was deep and suggestive and he wasn't willing to stop it but she pulled back anyway. 'Tonight after watch?' She asked.

Daryl nodded before his brain really registered the words, then he shook his head, and paused because he couldn't think at the same time, he swallowed and thought. 'Don' like the idea of doin' it with Jake around, but thinkin...' He spared a look to Jake. He was ok with it that Judy night, so why not. 'Yeah... ok.'

He leant up to kiss her again, and smiled against her when he felt her tickling his chest, it felt so nice, who cared if people could be looking out their various van windows, judging him, she felt so right, she felt... 'Shit!'

Beth pulled back and almost sent him a questioning look, only she didn't have time to before he stood, her still in his arms, and ripped her knife from her hip and stabbed a walker that rounded the edge of the van. Beth dropped her legs as he shoved the knife into her hand, and reached for his own as he stepped to look at the field that their van was blocking.

Beth squealed a little as something reached for her foot and she quickly stepped back stabbing the walker that was crawling under the van.

'Beth... BETH, Jake!' Was the last thing she heard before she hurtled towards him, she didn't look back, didn't think about how many there were, she just ran to Jake, screaming his name, knowing by Daryl words that it was bad. Her heart dropped when Jakob looked at her and she saw the horror on his face, she hurtled at him, and called Jonathan along as she picked him up and ran for the watchtower, that had to be the safest place.

**A/N hope you all enjoyed, I'm starting to panic because I only have another three chapters to catch up to my next lot that I skipped so I better get too writing lol.**

**and to TWDWITHDRAWYL yes there has been some more focus on these charachters, Daryl has bbeenlooking for judith, although in this story were not seeing it, but i did tryto show that while hes on runs hes desperatly searching which is why theyve set up camp and wont be leaving till they are either forced or find her. as this chapter is they are forced to leave but pretty soon you will see the labours of his searching come to a head. and i just changed the summary to suit where i think the story is heading a little better, it may change again when im done, but yes theyre stoll going to meet up with the others... they have to because ive written a bunch of chapters, but yeah the tory line is changing because someone convinced me not to kill jakob so now im trying to t it all in and see of there is a way for himto survive or not :)**

**As always please review!(**


	59. A hundred thousand or somfin'

**A/N sorry this one's a little more short and faster pace than usual.**

Daryl almost couldn't believe it, there were thousands, he's not good at math, but they were thick, like a brown blanket covering the earth, squished together and treading over one another, he figured: _if there were at least three in a square meter, and a football field was approximately five and a half thousand square meters that put it at around fifteen thousandish of them and he could see the length and width of approximately eight to ten football fields of space, and that's not counting how much more would emerge from the tree line, so that's at least over a hundred thousand of them!_ He shook his head at that because that can't be right, like he said, he's not good at math, still there were allot of them.

He's pretty sure there weren't even that many people in Georgia... well ok there is but that's not his point, this is a hell of allot, at least the first wave seems more spread out, and they can get through this right? Yes they can, he knows they can because they got in and out of that hospital or vet thing with Michonne and Bob and Tyreece and that had a herd almost this big, so yes, yes it can be done, he picks up his crossbow and knocks the first few out noticing that Beth in her panic forgot her bow, he slings it over his back and runs towards the direction Jake was and is relieved to see they've almost made it to the watchtower, he smiled, that's a good safe place.

He realized no one has been alerted and he can see people lazily standing around, so he stopped momentarily and bellowed in his loudest voice. 'WALKERS!' And he wondered who the dumb-shit on guard is because he should have seen them way before they reached the edge of camp.

Everyone starts running in a frenzy and he's glad now that he insisted they all have cars because even with them he knows not everyone is going to get out alive. He looks up to Beth who's nearly up the tower with Jakob and Jonathon, and he noticed Slayers already crossed to take out a few of the first walkers, 'One-Eye, get you're arse here!' He yelled, because he knows there's no way the dog can take them all out, and he's not willing to risk his life, the dog is running towards him and he then the thought of about Dale and Elizabeth popped into his mind, they must be in their van so he ran towards it and cursed his pounding chest because it's doing that aching thing again.

He rapped furiously on the door and heard an annoyed grunt of some sort and opened the door regardless . 'Get your shit, we gotta go!' He bellowed at them, and the horror on his face sent Elizabeth into action immediately. She dived of her spot on the bed and he looked around. 'Where is Dale?' He asked.

'In cook!' She answered, as she slipped her shoes on and reached for the gun.

Daryl threw the car keys at her. 'Beth and Jakob are in the tower.' He told her. 'I'll go for Dale!' There was a slight panic in him when he told her that, because he knows it's the safest course of action, but he's trusting her to help his family, which she is a part of, but it's still stressful. As much as he has grown close to the couple, it's only been a few months, but there's something in their mutual nods that tells him she feels the same, and each of them will take the task of protecting their family as seriously as the other. They are family Daryl decides in that moment, as much as Rick or Michonne or Glen, maybe even more so. They are his family and he will gladly die to protect either one of them, and he can see in the older woman's eyes that she feels the same.

Elizabeth nodded and headed for the car, Daryl threw Beth's bow in the back seat and guarded her till she gets to the car and then runs for the cook house, walkers are halfway across the oval now, and he can hear screaming and yelling, but he can't help everyone, he knows that, so he focuses on getting to Dale. He knocked a walker that was aiming for Bill on the head, hoping it will give the man the upper hand against the second one coming at him. When he reached the tent, the old man is battling two of the things and Daryl took aim at one while Dale stabbed at the other.

They run towards the tower for a few yards but then Daryl heard a grunt and turned to see Dale falling over, he reached for him pulling him back to his legs, but the man's knee has clicked out of joint again, and there's walkers everywhere gaining on them, Slayer takes out two as Daryl slips the older man's arm around his neck, and he could vaguely hear Dale telling him, 'Just leave me, look after my Lizzie.' But Daryl's not accepting that, he never would. Instead he looks around relieved to spot a car, he knew it's useless, they haven't fit the battery yet but maybe they can hide in it. He dragged Dale over to it, barrelling through a walker on the way and threw him in, Slayer immediately jumped in and Daryl was about to follow when he caught sight of Beth's blonde hair surrounded by walkers, he slammed the door shut telling them he will come back for them before he turned and ran towards her, but everything is a blur of browns and reds and rotting flesh and after he's taken out about twenty of the things he looks around and can see her jumping into Elizabeth's car.

He thinks he might make way back to the car Dale is in, but the walkers don't let him, he gets swept towards the south side of the camp and found himself hiding behind an old drum. He sliced his way through another thirty or so walkers before he busted into someone's RV. He wasn't sure who's it is because he wasn't paying attention, but he locked the door and stood there holding his aching chest and trying to catch his breath.

It took a moment to breathe, and he doubled over in pain as his chest tightened further, and he let out a little groan, but a noise from the far end of the van grabbed at his attention, and he heard a walker groaning and vaguely realized there was one locked in the little toilet and its pressing against the flimsy door.

'M-mister Dixon?' Came the quiet voice and he looked towards it, as his eyes adjusted properly to the girl huddled in the corner, he knew the voice, but he couldn't place it, he blinked a few times, trying to focus his mind.

'Amber?' He asked. 'You ok?' She was shaking and he noticed some blood on her singlet. 'You bit?'

'No... I got it in there.' She answered.

Daryl stepped towards the door but her voice stopped him. 'It's got a helmet on.'

He looked at his knife, he knew it's not long enough to get the brain if he goes through the chin, and getting it from behind in such a small space could be hard, he'd have to decapitate it, he looks to her and her knife is even smaller. He glanced around and can't see anything that would help, so he looked back out the window and spotted their car. 'Ya keep it locked?' He nodded to it, and Amber had to cross to look out the window before she shook her head.

'But it's not working yet, dad gave the fuel line to Bill.'

'Whares ya folks... ya brother... what's his name?' Daryl couldn't think.

'Mum is in cook.' She answered, and Daryl looked away because the moment she said it he recalled seeing a woman being eaten when he shot that one for Dale, she was already gone but it must've been her. 'Dad and Jace went for a walk... I don't know where.' She told him.

Daryl nodded. 'Ok, you're with me then.'

'Daddy says I'm not...' She paused because she's not sure how to finish that.

Daryl glared at her and it actually sent a cold shiver down her spine. 'Ya not what?'

She looked to the ground nervously. 'I'm not even supposed to talk to you.' She admitted.

Daryl huffed, because that annoyed the hell out of him. 'Well stay here if you want then, you'll be walker chow pretty soon though.' He told her as he sized up how many steps it will be to the car, he didn't intend on leaving her, but the threat seemed to work.

'I'm sorry... can I?' She asked with tears gracing the corners of her eyes.

Daryl nodded and put his crossbow on his back. 'Listen, stay close, it's only a few steps but when they're hearding like this, every step counts, you stay behind me, no matter which way I turn ok... keep your knife near your throat and only stab if they're comin' at ya, ya don't take half a step towards them ok, remember quick slashes, like ya learnt in class, and when I get to the door, climb in and straight over, ok.'

She nodded and Daryl turned to check she had her knife ready. She did and he gave her a nod, the walker in the bathroom had almost gotten free tho so he puffed a few deep breaths psyching himself up for it before swinging the door open on a walker and making way for the car.

Amber was a good listener and did exactly as he told her and six walkers later she was clambering through the car, him following. A walkers arm preventing his from shutting the door, he fell back against his seat and felt the string on his bow flick down, and regardless of his leather vest protecting him the harsh scrape stung, but he managed to snap the rotting arm and get the door closed, so he had that going for him.

With it shut he took a deep breath and allowed himself to relax for a second, reaching his hand to his back, and dropping his head for a moment until he realized it landed in Amber's lap which sent him bolting upright and shuffling to get his crossbow of his now throbbing back, he dumped it by his feet and felt the warm slick dripping down the spine of his back and he knows its ripped at the skin, and he's mostly hoping his vest isn't damaged because he really likes it.

He was hoping for a little more room, but there's a massive box on the other side of Amber, and the front is loaded with things so he settles back and tries to make a plan.

Amber was still squirming and jumping at ever walker that slapped itself on the window beside her and Daryl cursed that of all people he had to get stuck with her, because if Adam survives this he might just kill him for it.

'Stop movin'.' He snapped, and she looked to him uncertain and scared? 'The more you move the more they'll notice, just stay still and quiet and they'll go away.' He explained.

She nodded before settling back into her chair and trying not to move.

Daryl couldn't help the groan that slipped from his throat as his head lulled back to the seat, and his mind wondered to his family. Hoping like hell Dale and Slayer are ok, because he's pretty sure the others got out ok, but his mind is still awash with worry. There was nothing he could do right now though, so he closed his eyes and decided to wait it out.

**A/N hope you enjoyed, please review**


	60. Somethin' in this car

**A/N whys he stuck with Amber? No reason, it's just fun to put him in an awkward situation with his arch rivals daughter! :D Enjoy,**

**Also to Bethyl nuts, re: your review to the bird and the archer. firstly eeeww a crush on Merle! No not even when I re-read this chapter do I see this as being ok! Yukyukyuk! Lol, ahh each t their own, I guess someone's gotta give him some lovin'. Also I hope all your appointments give you positive answers, I'd love to hear that you're healthy and well!**

**Also to the three new people reading and reviewing, thankyou so much! Hope you continue to enjoy. :D**

It was getting dark and the walkers were still swarming thick, Daryl hadn't moved in a few hours and the base of his back was starting to throb, his mind was wondering, thinking about how nice it would be to have **B**eth's hands rubbing the pain away, he should have been getting off guard about now and they should have been... no he wasn't going to think about that, he needs to be killing, not thinking about that. It was just good knowing she had gotten out safe with Elizabeth and Jake. He glanced through the front window to the car Dale and Slayer were trapped in, he couldn't see in it, it was too dark, but the moonlight showed that walkers weren't swarming around it too heavily, so that was good.

Amber shifted slightly and her arm rubbed against his own, she'd been so still he had almost forgotten she was here. He glanced to her and noticed she was shivering. She really wasn't wearing that much, she had only a thin singlet on and her pants, she must've just got out the shower when it happened he supposed because her hair was wet earlier, he didn't realize until it had dripped through his shirt onto his shoulder, but it was cold, it was still early spring, so while the days were hot the nights still felt like winter, even he was freezing his ass off.

She had goose bumps all down her arm and the hairs stood on end. He cleared his throat softly, Beth was always colder than him at any given time, it was probably a girl thing, he was freezing sure, but he didn't have that goosed flesh, and his skin didn't have that blue tinge. He looked around again and noticed the walkers weren't too thick, so he leaned forward a little, stuffing his crossbow to the floor and enjoying the sensation of the stiffness in his back being relieved somewhat by the movment. He shrugged of his vest and cursed when it got caught, but he managed to get it off without too much disturbance. He leant back again, and decided the sleeveless thing wouldn't offer her much warmth, so he started unbuttoning his shirt, once he was done with that he attempted to pull it off but noticed the bottom was caught in his belt buckle, oh yeah that's right, he was in a rush last time he took a piss, he undid it to free the shirt and only then did he hear the tiny voice beside him

'W-what are y-you doing?' She asked.

Daryl ignored her and continued his task. 'Ain't ya got eyes?' He decided, because he thought it was pretty obvious.

'Please d-dont.' She answered and he felt her press into the boxes.

He glanced up at her and caught the look of terror on her face and it was confusing, he furrowed his brow and he almost had some stupid notion to hug her or something, that's what Beth would've wanted but screw that, last time he acted on that urge it got him in a very tricky situation. His fingers pricked though and he looked down to his belt, and then he realized what she was suddenly so afraid of. 'What! Ya think?... I ain't...' He gave up trying to talk and simply continued with his task, freeing the piece of material, and fixing his belt again. 'M givin' ya me shirt, look cold.' He explained.

She didn't answer him for a minute and he didn't try to move, didn't want to freak the poor kid out more. 'Ain't like that Amber, know what ya dad thinks of me, but I ain't...'

She considered him a moment before shuffling her legs nervously. 'But I heard you tell Judy that...'

'Know what I said... was just talkin' ta get her of me back... it's just Beth.' He answered, but she didn't seem to relax much. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly and she almost looked like she relaxed a fraction. 'So ya cold or not?' He asked.

She almost nodded but then she opened her mouth. And he wasn't sure if the stutter was because of her shivering or if she was really that scared of him. 'W-wont you-u be c-cold?'

'Been worse before.' He commented, and he continued shrugging it off, he'd forgotten to undo the buttons by the wrist and it got caught, after a moment of struggling he felt her hand on his wrist that was bent up behind his back as she undid the button, her knuckles scraped his back and it sent him lurching forward face planting the chair in front of him and hissing something like, 'Don't touch me.' But the presence of a walker suddenly throwing itself against a window hand them both paused, it hung around for two or three minutes before it lost interest and he continued getting the shirt of, he glanced at her before dropping it in her lap with an apologetic look, as he shrugged his vest back on. 'Ya gonna put it on or am I freezing my arse of for nothing? He asked.

She gave him a tight lipped smile and slipped her arms through it and folded it around herself. 'Thanks.' She whispered.

He nodded and resumed looking out the window, she seemed so uncomfortable next to him, so he spoke, but refused to look at her. 'Din' mean to sound mad...at ya.'

'It's ok.' She answered, but she didn't sound convincing.

'Nah it's not, don't gotta be like that... Beth used to get pissed all the time, thought I was angry at her... m not.' He glanced at her. 'Not angry at ya, just a reaction.' He explained.

She nodded and he felt her settle a little. 'Was that the worst?' She asked after a few moments of silence. He looked to her with a clear question but didn't answer. 'Your back... you said you've been worse than cold, what happened?'

His face twitched into something of disgust and annoyance and he noticed the way hers dropped a little, she snuggled into the shirt and tried to look like she wasn't there.

He sighed after a minute or two, and decided to talk, mostly because the worrying voice in his head wouldn't shut up and he wanted to not think. 'I guess...' He answered, and he caught her questioning look but she wasn't willing to voice it. He huffed an almost laugh at her. 'You two would've been good friends you know... Beth ain't ever shut up either.'

'I didn't say any-ythin'ng.' She answered quietly.

'Ya thinkin' though!' He answered and the upturn of one of her lips confirmed it. He huffed again. 'Had the worst fucking day not long after this started... was out looking for Soph...this little girl, Nelly...' He smirked at the memory of Hershel telling him that she was always nervous. 'Nervous Nelly... Beth's horse, threw me, rolled down a hill through some trees, fell in a river, shot myself with me own fucking bow, then couldn't find it in the river...' He laughed at the ridiculousness of it, 'Found it, hallucinated, got chewed on my a walker, sunburnt ta shit, and when I finally climbed up the cliff and got back ta the farm, that crazy arse blond shot me... in the head, can you believe it? Thought I was a god damn walker!' He explained.

'Beth shot you?' She asked with astonishment.

Daryl frowned. 'Nah Andrea... she was... she's gone now.'

'I don't be-lieve you!' She answered.

Daryl shrugged, but he was glad she looked a little relaxed, so he bent his head and lifted his hair showing her the scar where his hair never grew back quiet right. 'Good thing she was a bad shot.' He commented. 'Hurt for days though... not as bad as what happened at the prison though.' He caught her curious look, and he might hate talking but it always relaxed Beth, and if it helped this kid too then he could suck it up. 'Went out huntin', was tracking this boar, took a bad shot, was getting desperate coz it was late, anyway it ran away and startled a deer that I hadn't even noticed, barrelled straight through me, course I took it down, but got an antler hanging out my leg.' He motioned to his thigh, it was wedged in there good, had ta cut the thing of, then drag the damn thing three miles back to the road... so there I was in the middle of the road, guttin' this thing, antler hangin' out me leg when Michonne and Glen pull up on their way back from a run, and they're so sure I'm a fucking walker that they almost drive over me... thought I was a gonner, realized last minute and swerved... clipped me still, didn't do much damage though... bastards.' He actually laughed at the memory of Glens face. 'Was in two car wrecks since the turn... got shot a couple of months back, Beth had to patch me up with a god damn panty liner...' He finally received a small laugh and was happy with that.

'So not'thing kill-s you th-hen!' She shivered, but the humour in her voice was thick.

Daryl shrugged and wiggled his back a little. 'Something will one day... just not today.' He answered.

'Y-your not-t scared?' She asked.

'Nah.' He looked down at her. 'Coza these geeks?' He pointed out the window. 'Gotten out of worse... '

'I've nev-ver seen this man-y.' She answered.

'You're lucky then..' He looked over at her. 'We will be ok, you know... find ya dad, get out of this...you'll be ok.' He answered.

She huffed a smile and he watched the frosty air dance out of her mouth. It reminded him of cigarette smoke, and hell he wanted one, he blinked, refusing that thought.

'You think they-re o-ok?' She asked.

He shrugged, because he knew her mom wasn't and if they were out walking around the camp with nothing to hide in probably not, but he didn't want to tell her that yet. 'You're ok aren't you... never know.' He answered, and she smiled at that.

Another walker slapped against the car which made her jump, Daryl glared at it, as if that could make it disappear, and he pulled his knife from its sheath, just in case it broke a window, a second one joined it and he looked to her. 'Best be quiet for a bit.' He whispered. She nodded and sat in silence for another twenty minutes or so before they gave up and headed on to somewhere else. 'Get some sleep he advised because he knew they were going to need it. She nodded and closed her eyes.

Daryl went back to his thoughts of Beth and Jakob. The most pressing was where would he find them. It was stupid he thought that they hadn't arranged a meeting place, he should have thought about that after the prison.

There was of course the prison, maybe she would go back there, D block was still in ok condition and he had told her that, although he doubted she would, maybe the farm, he had told her he was planning on going back there at some point. Maybe... no defiantly not the funeral home. Perhaps the little store that he'd spray painted for Judith, that was a very real possibility... most likely the cabin though, depends which way the walkers head, it would probably be the cabin or the shop. Hopefully they'd clear out soon so that he could go looking for them, make sure they're ok.

He swallowed, his throat feeling dry in the cold air, and looked to Amber she was still shivering and he wondered if it was the moon or the cold that gave her skin the slight blue tinge. He reached over to feel her forehead and it was like ice under his fingers, her eyes shot open and she had that uncomfortable look.

'Ya blue girl!' Came his reply.

'You a-are too.' She answered, and he glanced down at his arms, realizing with surprise that she was right.

'What's in that box?' He asked.

'H-hunting stuff, kniv-ves a-and gun-s.'

'No blankets?' Daryl questioned and she shook her head. He turned so his back was against the door. 'C'mere then.'

She looked embarrassed by the suggestion and a little concerned. He shook his head. 'Ain't gonna touch ya, promise, s'just cold...' He answered.

She nodded and shifted carefully, trying not to make any contact. 'Turn around.' he told her and she did, he flicked his leg up so that she could fit easily into him, and he awkwardly let her settle against him. He stabbed the knife into the back of the chair beside him so it was easy to reach and attempted to wrap his hands around her, unsure as to where was safe, he thought maybe her stomach, but then her arms moved and she tangled hers against his, and the warmth of the shirt was inviting, he let it happen, moving his arms so they fit better and jumped a little as he felt his fingers scrape against her breast. He jerked his hand back for a moment. 'I din'...'

'I know.' She answered quickly. 'I don't kno-ww h-how this is m-meant to work eitt-her.' She admitted.

He felt his leg kick uncomfortably at the box and he ignored it and pulled her a little closer and settled his arms down with a nervous huff. 'Don' mean ta make ya unfordable.' He answered.

She laughed a little. 'He's wron-gg you know...'

'Hm?' Daryl asked wondering what she was on about.

He felt her settle back into him, and her shivering was already slowing, as his own skin felt warmer. 'You're not a bad man-n at all mister Dixon-n.'

'Maybe.' He answered with a huff, and the he thought about it, and he was sure he wasn't . 'Coulda told ya that.' He confirmed and with that he closed his eyes and forced himself into sleep while he could.

**A/N I'll admit the next few chapters I'm unsure about, but if I'm to stick to posting one a day I don't have time to redo them all so sorry, but I hope you enjoy them anyway, also please review :D**


	61. Somethin's missing

The sun was warm and basked Daryl's eyes in a warm red before he opened them, the feeling was nice, calming even, he felt the shift against him and squeezed her into him, mumbling her name against her neck as he pressed his lips into her. He stiffened at that, something wasn't right, he forced his eyes open, it was the smell of her was different, he jumped back in shock a little when he saw the blonde that wasn't quiet his blond. She was already moving away from him, and he had only one word. 'Fuck!' He tried to sit up more and cover his morning glory that was proudly poking her back moments before, and he felt a deep red spread over his face as he clumsily moved legs and arms and kicked his fucking crossbow that wouldn't let his legs fit back there. 'Shit man... I um... I, thought you were...' He fumbled with his bow still not looking at her face, cursing himself for being so stupid. 'Beth.' He finished.

'I know.' She answered nervously as she wiped at her face.

'Din' mean ta... you know...' He waved at her, and she nodded.

'Yeah... I know' She answered again.

He huffed, but it wasn't amusement it was annoyance. 'What?' She asked.

'Ya ole' man would kill me.' He answered flatly.

'I won't tell him.' She replied quickly and he looked at her and gave her a half smile.

'Yeah well anyways... 'pollagize to ya.' He answered, and she nodded again, before his eyes scanned the oval, the walkers were thick still, but they were more herding towards the other side of the camp. Daryl looked around, there were only a handful and only two on this side of the car. He sniffed. And had an idea. 'Pass me the shirt.' He demanded, she looked a little confused but unwrapped it from herself, shivering at the morning air. 'N that cup.' He motioned to the floor on the other side of her, and she handed him them both, he took them in one hand and took his knife in the other before scanning out the window.

He bumped the butt of the knife on the window just loud enough to get the attention of two walkers who quickly shuffled to his side of the car, he looked again to make sure none of the others had noticed and he glanced back to Amber with a single word. 'Stay.'

He dived out of the car, not quiet shutting the door for fear of the noise attracting more and he stabbed both of the walkers in the head with one fluid movement. They slumped to the ground and he looked around again before bending down and slicing one open, he threw the shirt into its liquefied innards and swished it around before scooping the glump with a cup and lifting it over his arm, then another cup over the other arm, he threw a cup for each leg and then scooped some with his handt to wipe on his neck and face, and happy that he was sufficiently covered he looked up to Amber who's face looked mortified. He stood and opened the door holding out the shirt and pulling out his crossbow. 'Put this on.' He told her.

She screwed up her face and he could see her gagging at the smell. 'I can't.' She answered.

'Rather be walker chow?' He asked.

She looked to the dead walker and back to him. 'How does it help?'

'They ain't smart, ya look like them, walk like them n smell like them, they don't know, less they get close enough to feel ya heart betin'.' He explained.

She nodded and tentivley stood slipping her arms through the material.

Daryl loaded the bow as she fixed it over herself and put an arrow in ready, just in case, he dipped his hands in the walkers stomach again before crossing back to her and tentivley holding his hands up, after receiving a light nod he rubbed them on the neck across her forehead and over her chest.

'Do ya legs too.' He advised and she looked squeamish but he nudged her forward and she picked up the cup and scooped it in the stomach of the walker and dripped it down one leg. She heaved heavily, but managed to repeat the action before she let the contense of yesterdays lunch spill to the ground beside the walker.

Daryl looked at her once she collected herself, and motioned to her shirt which she tucked behind her knife like she had learn in the lessons and then he pulled at her arms. 'All relaxed ok, like you've been busted up and don't care no more.'

She nodded and slumped her shoulders.

'Ya don't focus ya eyes, let it all blur out, they notice that ok, and no talking none, got it, n' stay real close.' He answered before dropping his bow, gripping it by only the band and letting it drag against his leg, he turned and motioned for her to follow. 'Gonna go get Dale then to my car ok.' He explained and she nodded.

They made their way across the field and Daryl frowned at a few close calls of walkers that stopped to look at Amber, but he knocked into her and blocked her and they seemed to buy it, distracted by the others. One of them came up really close and sniffed Daryl and he simply sniffed back copying the action unsure if that was the right thing to do, but it lost interest and he let a breath out carefully as they continued stammering their way to the car. His heart sank when he saw the door was open, it pounded wildly against his ribs and the pain that it so often carried flared up, he lost his breath for a moment, and squeezed his eyes shut willing himself to breathe. Blood covered the back seat and there was a tuff of white fluff that belonged to Slayer. He felt his chest tighten to an unbearable tightness and he slipped out a moan of pain, but managed to ignore the rest, the tears and screams that he wanted to let out, the walkers looked but seemed uninterested, he turned and walked defeatedly in the direction of his RV, not having to fake the walk because he felt it.

He heard a slight whine from Amber and carefully stammered around, seeing a walker that looked fresher but was missing most of her torso staring into Amber, he had to take two steps towards her before he realized he knew this one, it was Ambers mother, he carefully reached his hand to her wrist and tugged her along squeezing it tightly as he heard another pained noise from her, he squeezed tighter again, and she managed to hold it back. The continued slowly, and finally made it to the RV where they stammered inside, Daryl looked around quickly before closing the door behind them, and the moment it sealed shut he heard her whimpering, sitting on the corner of the couch and crying.

He wanted to join her, for Dale for Slayer... for her mother, for all the walkers, for Janet, Merle and Andrea, and Zach, for Hershel and T-dog and Axle, Lorri, Dale and all of them, but he didn't, he just told her what Beth told him. 'You don't get to feel.'

She looked confused and angry about it, but she wiped at her tears spreading walker gore across her face further. 'He softened a little bit when he reached for the photos of his family that sat proudly on the bench. 'Ya don't get ta be sad till were out of her ok.' He explained. 'When were safe...'

She nodded and he continued grabbing a few random things, stuffing it in the backpack which already had things in it. He threw it over his back picked up his bow and looked at her. 'Just to the car ok.' He told her.

He opened the door and they stumbled towards the car and climbed in, he let her climb through the back seat before he turned, coming face to face with a walker that had crept up on him, he recognized the face, and he drew his knife up to it, not willing to allow it to suffer. It slumped to the ground, and he let the name. 'Bill.' Slip past his lips as he drew the knife from the fresh skull and slipped into the driver's seat wiping the blade against his jeans.

The closing of the doors drew the heard towards them so he quickly fumbled with the wires and the car revved to life. He tooted the horn a few times as he drove, drawing as many as he could away, giving any other potential survivors a few minutes. And when they were far enough away he slowed a little, feeling Amber climb through to the seat beside him. He threw the backpack at her. 'One of Beth's shirts.' He answered the questioning look and she quickly shrugged out of his and wound the window down to throw it out. She pulled and old rag out first and wiped as much of the gore of her face and neck and hands before pulling the shirt on, and then she leant over and wiped it down Daryl's arm, pulling of the chunkier pieces and just leaving his skin stained an odd brown/red, he took it and ran it down his other arm as he drove, and wiped his face clean before handing it back.

'Where are we going?' She asked, her voice thick and sad.

He shrugged. 'There was a place before we came here... a cabin in the woods.' He answered.

He saw her eyes tear up and he didn't even really mind when he heard the little sobs.

'Gonna go to town first... get some supplies... circle back see if there's any survivors... might find ya dad... Jace? Then we'll head over there.' Daryl suggested.

It was pointless talking to her, she was too far gone in her grief, so he pushed a CD in and let the gentle song drown out her sobs as they drove, and as he went over in his mind what he was going to say to Elizabeth he felt his own throat tighten, and he may have given way to a sound of two that sounded like strangled sobs, but no one would ever know.

**A/N hope you enjoyed again. :D I don't think Adam is going to be very happy about this... Also Chapters 1-30 are now beta'd so that's halfway, thankyou to the amazing SaraVi who beta's and does a wonderful job!**

**Thankyou to all the readers and reviewers, please don't stop! :D **


	62. Sumfin' on the radio

**A/N **

**This chapter is dedicated to whoever it was that requested more songs instead of snoggs, lol, I can't remember who it was. :D**

**So I watched that anaconda vid clip because I didn't know the song, and someone suggested to use it... what the hell is that shit? I get the coconut and the bananas... but what's with the pineapple? No not a real question I don't want to know, this was all round unpleasant and disturbing!, wow, mind blown. 4:50 mins I can't get back **

**Peggy lee fever-Anaconda niki minaj-Akon she wants sex-Jolene, miley cyrus-Long night, nelly ft usher-F u betta the hitch.**

* * *

The day was defiantly getting worse by the minute Daryl thought as he gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. He was probably driving a little fast, but he didn't care, not like Rick was around to give him a ticket.

'The Bike!' He scolded himself, not realizing that he said it out loud, he flinched when he felt the three of the four sets of eyes in the car go to him. He should've taken his fucking bike! Really, he probably wouldn't have gone back if he knew they'd find _her._ He actually thought about leaving her there, but Amber didn't look all too impressed when he'd muttered that under his breath. His eyes drifted to the little girl who Grant was nursing, and he thought it was defiantly a good thing that they went back, still... His eyes met Judy's in the mirror and he blinked them away.

Amber was beside him crying, Grant told her that he'd seen her father and brother running pursued by walkers, Daryl couldn't figure out why the guy thought that would be positive information. He said it like it might bring her comfort, because he'd seen them alive, but the explanation of what was following them hadn't been a comfort.

At least the herd had moved on, heading south, the camp was littered with hundreds instead of tens of thousands now. He bit down a groan of annoyance, and focused his eyes back on the road. It was a good thing he did, there was a group of walkers that had mysteriously appeared in front of him. He swerved; hitting a few but managed to avoid a serious accident.

The car skidded to a halt. His heart was pounding, thudding, hurting, and he felt his vision blur a little. He groaned softly, before catching the walkers in the mirror heading over, there were only six of them still standing. He reached for his bow which half leant on the consol, half in Ambers lap. He stepped out loaded it, took out the first two like that, then the third with the butt of it, another with the side and a knife to the fifth. Grant had apparently taken the sixth one out.

'Maybe someone else should drive?' He suggested, catching Daryl look of annoyance that he took even one kill from him.

'Hm.' Daryl wasn't going to argue. He scratched at his chest, it hurt like hell, it was so tight.

Everyone except that little girl was out the car, looking at him, wondering what they should do. Expecting him to lead them. Right now he didn't want to, didn't have the energy to. He walked past them and took seat in the front passenger side and waited. It didn't take long, they joined him quickly, Judy taking the driving position.

'You're driving?' He accused.

She nodded.

Daryl glanced to the back seat and Grant shrugged, these two don't know how to' he pointed to Amber and the child.

'Som'n wrong with you?' Daryl asked.

Grant shrugged. 'My licence was suspended.'

Daryl swivelled further in his chair to really glare at the man. 'You mean to tell me, were in a walker infested world, and there's been no justice system for four years and you're worried that your licence was suspended?' Daryl said with a mix of condensation, disbelief and annoyance.

'I have my reasons.' Grant answered.

Daryl made a disapproving noise before looking back to Judy, his eyes narrowing slightly at her. 'Well what ya waitin' for?' He motioned to the road.

'I... I don't know how to start it?' She answered.

Daryl rolled his eyes. 'Useless bitch.' He grumbled to himself, although it was defiantly loud enough for her to hear, as he stuffed his crossbow between his legs so he had room to lean over. 'You try anything and I'll kick you out here.' He warned her, without waiting for an explanation as he reached between her legs and fiddled with the wires. The car revved to life and she eased it back onto the road following his directions .

The trip seemed long, and too quiet now, usually Daryl appreciated silence, but now with Judy beside him it was unnerving. He looked around, almost nervously, fiddled with the edge of the string on his bow, scratched at some mud on his jeans, scratched at his head and briefly wondered if he'd picked up lice and then just decided he was probably sweaty, he'll ask Beth to check later.

He thought about the last conversation he'd had with Dale, and that made him angry, Dale was the first person to treat him like... well not like he was worth something, Beth and Rick and the crew did that, but like... well he was like a father, in a good way though, and it didn't matter that in a timeline they'd only known him for months, it seemed like forever. He sniffed, determined not to think about that.

He reached forward and pressed play on the CD player. It was still Zach's CD in there, that pissed him off, sure he'd listened to it earlier but now while his head was all screwed, thinking about Dale already it just wasn't something he wanted to listen to, he pressed eject, and the fucking thing got stuck halfway. It was annoying, but at least it gave his hands something to do for the next ten minutes as he pushed it back in, re-ejected it, fiddled, tried again, until it finally budged.

He considered throwing it out the window, but he decided against it, he caught his reflection in it for a moment and sat there staring at himself for what seemed like forever, staring into his own soul, angry and hurt and alone. Beth was right... he's going crazy... why is that? He thought about the past couple weeks, yeah, he really is, he's getting himself into situations, can't make his mind up about anything, is so unsure all the time. It's probably Beth's fault, Merle always said women fuck with your head.

He was chewing on his thumb staring at his reflection, and considering that for a good ten minutes, before he thought no, it's just that he needs his family, he's taking on too much responsibility with this camp, surrounding himself with morons and unable to think straight because of it. He decided on replacing the CD with some unmarked one that he found in the glove department, he shoved it in the player and waited.

Exactly three seconds later, the first song started pumping through the player, it was upbeat, and almost rappish, the stuff Beth hates, but almost sounded like Carls type of gangster but not music. Daryl hated it, but noise was noise, it didn't take long for the chick to start banging on about anacondas, and some guy called Michael on a motorcycle with a big ass... oh right, now he's listening to the words he get it. he shook his head, and laughed at his own stupidity, how did he not get what it was about, the action caught Judy's attention and she smiled back, he didn't know if that was a normal friendly or another fucking flirtatious thing, but it happened to be on the same line of, '_I let him hit it because he seemed ok.'_ Daryl reached straight for the CD and skipped the song and waited for the next one. '

'_Never know how much I love you.. put your arms around me, I get a fever that's hard to bear, you give me a fever when you kiss me...'_ skip.

Fast forward a little to test the song first. '_Once I'm in it, I'm in it, so forget it I ain't quittin' till I touch every square inch of your walls... take your clothes of slow slow slow'_

'Oh god...' Daryl cursed pressing skip again.

Trying to ignore the words and appreciate the noise he let this one play through for a while. _'...got yourself a beauty queen, she's prettier than I'll ever be, but there's one thing I've got to say... I can fuck you better-etter-eddah..' _skip.

'Girl you ain't got your dignity!' Daryl answered the CD.

Oh finally a song he knew, this is a little upbeat must've been redone, but it was a good song. He'd fast forwarded half way again_. 'Spring... your voice is soft like summer rain, I cannot compete with you Jolene.'_ Daryl thought this was about as good as it was going to get so he tapped his fingers on his crossbow and remembered his mum playing this, when it was popular, he didn't even mind whoever had re-done it. '_He talks about you in his sleep, there's nothing I can do to keep, from crying when he calls your name Jolene...and I can easily understand...'_

'How you can easily take my man, but you don't know what he means to me Jolene!' Amber sung along, she wasn't good like Beth, but it was sweet to hear something louder than his thoughts.

'_Jolene Jolene, Jolene, I'm begging of you please don't take my man, Jolene Jolene, jollennne, please don't take him just because...'_ skip, Judy's dumb ass smile and strumming on the steering wheel was pissing him off.

'_Yeeeaaah, when I ride you, ride, your girlfriends can follow.'_ eject.

The stupid thing didn't work it just went back to the first song and started playing again, _'My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns.' _He pressed the button again and it paused and started again, a third time, a fourth time, after the fifth time is spat the CD out a little but sucked it back in, he tried a few more times, by now cursing at it, he thumped it with his fist and it jumped to some girl moaning with a bunch of drums and he punched it again, a third time, pressed eject and it went back to fucking anacondas, another hit and it jumped to part way through a song. _'She like sex with the lights on..._' That was is, Daryl picked up the butt of his crossbow and bashed the stupid thing, that only served to stick the play button and the CD was jumping. '_Sexx-ex-ex-sex-with the –l-li-li-li-li-ex-li-ex-sex-lights on-on-on-n-n-n.' _Daryl hit it again, and actually felt a little better, so he drove his crossbow into it probably fifteen times before the thing fizzled out and stopped, he was puffed and feeling allot less tense.

He blinked, a little surprised at himself, and dropped his crossbow between his legs again and tried to push the face of the stereo back on, but wires and plastic hung from it and it kept falling back off, he shoved it one final time and heard amber answer him. 'I think that things broke now mister Dixon...'

'Shut up!' He snapped, and his voice sounded so weird, all thick and tight, and he hoped he wasn't going to do that crying shit because that's what it felt like, over a fucking CD.

There was silence for a few moments before Grant spoke up. 'That Miley chick went rank yeah?'

'Oh I loved it!' Amber replied enthusiastically.

'Really, no after that _wild_ video she did I was off her completely, she's just skanky.' Grant added.

'I liked the wrecking ball, I know no one else did, but I really thought it was cool!' Amber added.

'It had good lyrics!' Grant answered. 'What did you guys think?' He asked.

Judy nodded. 'She's cute.'

'Who the fuck is Miley when she's home?' Daryl asked, his voice was still too thick, but he was ignoring it.

'You know Miley Cyrus... she was singing that Dolly Parton song... that you didn't hate... as much as the others.' Amber explained.

'You know Billy Rays kid... achy breaky heart... _don't tell my heart my achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'll understand...' _Grant sung a little.

'_And if ya tell my heart my achy breaky heart he might.' _Amber continued before they all joined in except for the little girl.

'_Just blow up and kill this man, you can tell your ma I moved to arkensa, you can tell your dog to bite my leg, or tell your brother Cliff whose fist can tell my lip, he never really liked me anyway... or tell your aunt Louise, tell anything you plea...'_

'I know who Billy Ray is!' Daryl answered, loud enough to stop their singing and leave them all wondering if it was ok to talk. 'Just didn't know he had a kid, all grown up n singin'.' Daryl answered, it was suppose to be an apology or permission for them to continue or something if they had to but whatever.

No one did continue, no one spoke for the next fifteen minutes until Daryl motioned for Judy to pull into a little side track that lead away from the road, and not long after he told her to stop.

They had come as far as they could by car, they'd have to continue by foot. Daryl was just hoping upon hope that Beth had gone back to the cabin.

* * *

He led them through the woods, Amber was sticking pretty close to him, and it reminded him a little of Beth, or how Beth used to be, all jumpy and scared of her own shadow. He didn't mind her presence all that much. He didn't mind Grant either, he'd offered to carry that little girl, but grant had obviously claimed her as his own. He didn't know her name, he thought he heard Grant call her Claire, but he wasn't sure. He vaguely remembers her mum, but he doesn't think she's had a father since this begun. Grant was an alright bloke though, he always did right by Jakob, so if he wanted her, who was Daryl to say anything different.

Judy hung back a little, but her grunting and general displeasure of walking through the woods was annoying. Daryl ignored it, may have glared at her a few times but generally ignored her in favour of listening to Grant and Amber engaging in conversations about what they supposed happened to famous people, and if the world was ever cured would they go back to being famous or would people like Daryl become celebrities. Daryl turned at that and amber smiled brightly and said something about being a hero, saving people it would make sense. Daryl didn't answer just kept walking, but she reached to squeeze his arm and it cracked the smallest of smiles on his lips.

It was another few moments before he turned and hissed at them to be quiet, they all obeyed immediately and looked to him as he lowered his crossbow. His eyes scanned the woods, but he saw nothing, a minute passed and then two before he caught sight of two sets of legs staggering and he thought he heard more, he motioned them to hide and they took various positions, Grant with the little girl behind one tree, Judy behind another, and Amber behind the one just in front of him.

The walkers got closer and circled around coming up closer to Ambers tree, she took her knife out but Daryl knew she wouldn't manage two, so he crept up behind her and stilled her wrist, pressing her against the tree with his own body, she was shaking, and he tried to tell her to even her breathing, covering her mouth with one hand preventing the little whines of fear she was making, he lifted his crossbow with the other and waited, he noticed tears dripped from her eyes and he pushed into her a little more, trying to still her shaking, silently showing her how to take long silent breaths instead of little ragged noisy ones, still unsure, because he felt like it was defiantly more than two, but still he could only see two sets of legs.

They rounded the other side of the tree, and Daryl finally caught sight of them at the same moment that they saw him.

A sickening panic reached his gut, and he swallowed hard...

* * *

**A/N to TWDWITHDRAWL I'm so sorry that you were offended that Daryl feels that Dale and Liz are as much family as Rick and the group, but I spent like 30 chapters trying to build a relationship. It's the influenced of Beth and Jakob. I think the realization came when he understood they'd give their life for Jakob, I know they, haven't known each other for long, but time isn't as relevant, is Michonne any less family Rick, just because she hasn't been around for long, anyway that was the angle I was going for anyway, sorry if I didn't execute it well. **** anyway sorry. And he only separated from Beth because he thought she was safe... apologies.**


	63. Looked like somethin bad

**A/N sorry no notes tonight I'm tired, but please enjoy and review, do hope you enjoy the direction thestory is heading :D**

Daryl dropped his crossbow immediately, and stepped back, a mixture of relief and over joy and a little well founded panic, as Adams fist landed on his jaw.

He fell backwards a little, as Adam yanked Amber out of his grip. His vision blurred_ and he saw his fist hit back, saw Adam throw him to the ground, saw himself flip Adam of him and throw a few well aimed hits of his own, it happened all in a his mind all in a flash,_ Daryl shook his head, felt his whole body shake and decided not to hit him back, Daryl thought about launching back at him, he really did, but then he realized the position he had Amber in and understood Adams reaction, if he'd seen anyone else with Beth pushed into a tree, covering her mouth while she sobbed he'd probably hit them too. Instead Daryl took another step back raising his arms, unwilling to fight the man.

'Daddy, don't!' Amber cried, throwing her arms around him with excitement and anger at his actions.

'Amber, what's...' Adam paused to wrap his arms around her. 'What's going on?'

Amber looked back to the others who were emerging around trees at the recognition of voices. 'Nothing... we thought you were walkers!' She answered; Amber frowned at her father and the glare he was sending to Daryl. She put her hand on her father's arm. 'He saved my life Daddy.'

'And now he's taking his payment?' Adam spat in Daryl's direction.

'Daddy!' She tightened her grip on his arm. 'He was protecting me.' She wiped another stray tear.

Adam looked back to her, a slight nod understanding her tone, ignoring Daryl in favour of hugging his daughter, gripping her face her shoulders, tears matching hers, streaming down his own face, the realization that his daughter was alive and well, quite possibly due to Daryl, but regardless she was ok.

'Daryl!' I thought you were a gonner son!' Dale said, easing the tension, as he began limping forward. Daryl caught the stumbling man and allowed himself to hold him for a moment, it was more than catching him, but he wasn't pussy enough to be hugging another man, neither of them were... only it felt good reassuring themselves that they were alive.

Dale stood a little better as Daryl looked to Adam who was still clinging to his daughter with his son still piggy backing him. Amber was crying now without reserve, but it didn't matter seeing as they weren't walkers, Daryl understood his previous confusion now, Dales knee had them dragging their feet as Adam supported him, sounding as if they were walkers, but also sounding human. Everyone else began greeting each other, while Daryl and Dale continued their exchange.

'How'd you get out?' Dale asked, practically ignoring the stare off the two men had just had, ignoring the whole exchange, because although he was annoyed at Adams assumptions he had more pressing things to think about.

'Got hauled up in a car across the other side of camp with Amber, then we drove around for a bit, came back to look for survivors, found Grant in the tower and Judy in a car... I looked for ya man...' Daryl confirmed.

'I saw the girls get out with Jake, n' Adam came running out of the woods and I called him in, walker followed him in and...'

Daryl thought back to the sight of the car with all the blood and the fur. 'Slayer?' He said, still feeling pained at the thought.

Dale shook his head. 'Nah, he took it out but then he ran, chased the car... it looked like he got out ok, he's a fast boy?' Dale answered.

Daryl was going to say something about hoping they find him and hoping that he's ok, but he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to meet Adams face. It was different to usual, it held some kindness to it or something, Daryl vaguely heard Grant step forward, ready to defend him if needed, but as he scanned his body unsure of the situation, he saw Adam's hand was held out. Daryl cautiously offered his own and Adam shook it. 'Listen... thanks for looking out for my girl man... she told me ya got her out, watched out for her... thanks. 'm sorry man.'

The way he said it, the genuineness of his tone made it sound much bigger than what it was, like it was an all round sorry, maybe not just for hitting him moments before, Daryl nodded. 'Yeah sure, do it for anyone.' He answered.

'Yeah well thanks all the same.' Adam confirmed. 'Lookin' after her.' And the silence of the rest of the conversation that they'd never have hung in the air. Something passed between the two of them and Daryl was happy to not have to worry about the man, something in his understanding look told him he'd never have to worry about his opinions again.

The group hung around for a little while, talking about their plan, the cabin seemed the safest option and the most likely to reunite with the others, Dale had already figured that and was following the maps he knew in his mind, so they agreed to continue. Daryl led fast and determined and more than a little annoyed that he had to hold up from groups of walkers more than once. They were moving slow thanks to Dale's knee, and Daryl almost wanted to leave them behind, run ahead make sure his family, was safe, but he couldn't, wouldn't, he fell into place, letting Dale lean heavily against him and continued to slowly march one foot in front of the other.

It was when they were hiding behind a tree for probably the fifth time, Grant had said he'd heard something this time, Daryl pulled Dales arm a little tighter, reaching for his knife with his other hand when an arrow whizzed past him and hit a squirrel that was mid way through scampering up a tree. Daryl's eyes shot to the bolt and saw the orange and white feathers and smirked.

Good girl, looking for shelter, heading home and still thought enough to bag dinner on the way. 'Think that's gonna feed all of us darlin'?' He called, with a happy smirk.

He heard the little sigh of relief before she spoke. 'Not as good as that boar I was hoping for.' She replied, her voice getting closer as he stepped out from the tree, pulling Dale along with him. She bounded into his arms wrapping herself around him and somehow pulling Dale in for a hug at the same time before crashing her lips to his quickly and drawing back with a wide smile and glancing to Dale. 'Oh dale, I was so worried about you!' Beth said and kissed his cheek.

'Dale?' Daryl asked, managing to sound comically offended.

'Well I wasn't worried about you!' She answered, but her reaching up to kiss him quickly again betrayed her. 'You know cockroaches and walkers and Daryl Dixon.' She smiled, her fingers scratching lightly at his neck, still unwilling to take her hands of him.

Daryl squeezed her hip lightly with his spare hand. 'Yeah, well I missed ya so bad.'

Beth smiled and glanced at the rest of the group. She looked overall happy although Daryl caught her eyes narrow ever so slightly at the sight of Judy.

'Couldn't just leave her... well Amber said I couldn't.' He mumbled into her ear and she laughed.

'C'mon, Elizabeth and the boys are waiting!' Beth told them as she reached for her squirrel.

'My Lizzies ok?' Dale asked, even though he knew Daryl had said they got out and by Beth's disposition she was, he just liked it confirmed.

Beth smiled at him. 'She sure is, she's back at the cabin already, worried sick about you, cooking and consoling Jake.'

'consoling?' Daryl asked worriedly.

Beth shrugged. 'We killed Gertrude for dinner.'

'Gertrude?' Daryl asked looking confused.

'I didn't know either... we rounded up the chickens again, and you know the old grey one that barley lays, we decided we'd cook her, so after I snapped her neck ,he came over and cried about Gertrude.' Beth explained.

'Told him not to name the food.' Daryl grumbled.

Adam fell in step with them and joined the conversation. 'Used to tell Amber the same thing, but she used to name every cow on the farm, and when we'd sell them to the slaughter house she'd cry every time for a week, didn't ya love?' Adam looked over to her, and she nodded.

Beth thought Adams surprising chattyness was a little unusual, and yet Daryl seemed to be at ease with it, listening attentively and doing that look he did when he was grateful for someone taking initiative. She frowned... held up her fist to motion them to stop as she took out her arrow and aimed at a second squirrel, and with the expert shot she hit it and was able to continue before returning to her thought pattern... she will be asking Daryl about it a little later.

It was a long walk to the cabin, maybe a little over an hour with the limping Dale, and Grant and Adam carrying the children. At some point Amber mentioned to Adam about her mother which had them all stop for a brief break while the three of them cried and mourned her. Still Daryl understood the compliance on Adam's face when he accepted that he was lucky to have both of his children safe, and yet somehow didn't understand it because he dosent think he could ever resign himself to a world without Beth in it.

Grant talked Adam into an understanding , and they soon continued their journey until they hit the familiar outskirts of the cabin, with about an hour of daylight to spare.

It would be good to sit in there as a family, plus a few, share their fill of squirrel and Gertrude and know they were safe, if only for a little longer.


	64. SOMETHING 4 YOU 2 DO

**Hey guys, firstly I'd like to apologize because I won't be able to get a chapter up tonight, so I'm really sorry, but I changed the story line a bit and I need to sort out a few chapters, so that it all makes sense. If you're unhappy, think about how much happier you are now that there is a chance Jakob might live! I was going to outright slaughter him, have him have this huge asthma attack, have Daryl crying and spluttering and beating up Dale because Dale put walker Jakob down just before he bit Daryl, I was going to have Beth going, 'You don't get to feel-I can't be I love anymore!' All this tragedy…. So sorry, I need to fix that, hence I need a day, plus work has been a bitch.**

**Anyway, though, you know what I love… one shots! I love to read a little something to get me in the writing mood and I've read heaps now, so I was thinking about asking you all a special favor! Can I get you to write me some one shots? They don't have to be long, and I don't care if youre a good writer or not, I'm just keen to see some great ideas! **

**It's up to you where this story goes with these little one shots!, you all have such strong opinions about my characters, some of you love them, others you hate, some you want dead alive, most of you want to see Daryl and Beth in bed already, so write me some cute one shots! Use this story as the cannon guideline for them, I'd love to see how you feel about some characters and if you can justify them in anyway. **

**So instead of reading my chappy tonight give it a go, do some writing! Even if it's only a few hundred words. If you log in as a guest and want to give one of these prompts a go, just let me know in your review and you can email it to me or something and I can post it for you. **

**Anyway here's a list of prompts, anyone who writes these will be given full credit, even if my characters are used and I'll post links to your fic. :D**

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Here's my list of prompts organized my genre.

**Tragedy: has to be a sad overtone.**

Jakob dies.

Slayer/one-eye dies.

Beth/Daryl dies.

Someone looses a limb.

One of the group mistakes another for a walker. (Either kills or seriously injures them.)

Rick meets one of the new group. (Dale, Elizabeth, Jakob, Adam, Amber, Jace(ambers lil brother), Jonathon (Jakes friend that escaped with them), Grant, Claire (the little girl Grant has), or James, (the one who liked Beth) (_these characters will all become important in the meeting of the prison group in my story_) and works out they know Daryl and Beth, presumes they've hurt them and kills them.

Daryl/Beth find Judith. (with option of Carol/Tyreece. –Judith is a walker.

Daryl meets someone from his past and is traumatized by it, flashbacks welcome, perhaps the person tortures him now, and Beth has t deal with fixing Daryl all over again.

**Drama: Panic ensuing what the hellness please?**

Beth accidently seriously hurts or kills Judy, and is sad about it.

Jakob finds a girlfriend-Beth is extremely worried about it.

Adam+Daryl fight it out-They end up with an understanding/friends.

Beth beats Adam up.

Maggie discovers Beth's tattoo.

Jakob is alone with Slayer when he stumbles upon someone from the prison group, recognizing who they are because of what Beth/Daryl has taught him.-Freaks them out because he knows them before he explains who he is.

**Comedy: has to be a shot at funny, or just really really awkward.**

Daryl mistakes Amber for Beth. (This could also be written under drama, if you want to go the whole Adam beats Daryl up for it.)

Daryl catches a randy Dale/Liz in the act and is ridiculously embarrassed.

Beth saves Daryl's life, because he was doing something dumb.

Dale+Daryl or Beth+Liz get drunk/High leaving their partners to care for them.

When they meet up with the prison crew Beth and Daryl are both either completely or almost naked,-_can't be because they were having sex._

Beth gets an allergic reaction to something, for some reason it's embarrassing.

Daryl burns his intimate parts on the bike engine-how?(_yes this should be all kinds of dirty.)_

Jake/Maggie catches Daryl and Beth having sex.

Daryl takes the pills Jake told Beth to get _in Daryl's old house that day_, and the side effects have funny outcomes. (I'd love ideas for this.)

Jake asks Daryl some uncomfortable questions about sex/anatomies.

Daryl+someone from the prison crew/Dale/Adam, have the same pack, after a run it gets mixed up and they unpack Daryl's and it is full of something like condoms/lube/sex toys. There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this because it's not what it looks like, but how will Daryl explain?

Daryl has an embarrassing habit.

**Flashback: Beth/Daryl telling one of the new group prison stories, the focus is on the flash back where, and the can't be sexual, there has to be reasonable reasons…**

Beth is caught with her hand down Daryl's pants.

Daryl is heard moaning Beth's name in his cell and is confronted by someone about it.

Daryl is caught, either with his hands down Beth's top or groping her boobs obviously.

Daryl gives Beth/Zach the safe sex talk.

Daryl winds up naked with an audience.

Beth has heard a sex term and she doesn't understand (or know it's about sex) so she asks Daryl to explain. –think wizard sleeves. :D

**Sex: Daryl and Beth's first time…**

Beth can't stop laughing.

At some point Beth says. 'I thought it would be bigger?' (may or may not be in reference to his anatomy, but Daryl thinks it is.)

Daryl takes a break to go kill walkers and I happy to go right back to it, Beth is unsure how she feels about a naked Daryl slaying walkers.

Beth attempts to take things into her own hands, and ends up hurting Daryl's bits.

The crossbow gets involved?

It's too cold for Daryl to be much good, this leads to constant jokes and demeaning behavior, but Daryl actually finds that hot.

One of them finds a yellow rubber ducky. (relevance is up to you.)

Beth says something that defiantly freaks Daryl out two seconds before it happens, (like, 'you remind me of my creepy school teacher'. Or 'do you ever think you could ever be gay?' or something.) You can proceed with that how you wish, do they stop, continue, fight, laugh?

**Jakob future fics: set in the future involving Jakob.**

Jakob and Judith get together and Daryl catches them.

Slayer dies.

Jakob is a better fighter than Daryl.

Jakob is a prankster and gets Daryl/Beth/Liz/Dale a good one.

Jakob gives Maggie a run for her money.

Jakob and Glen have a secret.

Beth/Daryl are gone, and Jakob and Judith are alone, he finds walker bait (a child) By this point Jakob doesn't see the point in life, and considers ignoring the child… only it reminds him of himself, and he reminds himself of Daryl and Judith reminds him of Beth, and he realizes what it is to be a good person/man like his father.

Rick has to talk to Daryl about, 'Their children sneaking of together.' (Judith or Carl or both.)

Daryl tries to give Jakob a sex talk, only Jakob remembers how long it took for Daryl to do anything with Beth, and Daryl's really not the one for advice.

Jakob gives Daryl some interesting new tips that Daryl can't wait to try.

Jakob actually scares Michonne.-Jakob still thinks pirates are cool.

Jakob wins his first arm wrestle with Daryl and won't let him forget it.

Carl calls Jakob brother.

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**There that's the end of my prompts, please please I'd love to get at least a few answers to these! There's a few I'm really keen on, especially would love to see from the comedy and flash forward series!**

**So go forth and write!**


	65. Somethin' hurts

This was worse, so much worse, because Beth remembers when her dad died, actually the moment before he died, when the governor sliced at his neck with Michonne's katana. She even held hope out when she saw him dragging himself across the grass, maybe Michonne somewhere there could plug the bleeding or something, things had happened so quickly, and even when she realized he was gone forever, that her home and family was gone, it still wasn't as terrifying as this moment.

She had someone then, someone who could piece it back together and force her to survive, and she so wanted to be that person to him now, but how could she when she felt... this? She couldn't, she could hardly breathe herself let alone comfort another person, hold him together when she could hardly hold herself up.

It had been almost twenty four hours since they stepped back into the empty cabin. Beth's heart had sunk immediately when she saw the pot over boiling with the chicken in it, she knew something was wrong, and when Daryl reached under the bed dragging the terrified Jonathan out and yelled at him, yelled at him like she hadn't really heard Daryl yell, it was loud and broken and forceful and quiet all at once. When she heard that she knew Daryl knew it too.

Jonathon was crying, and Dale was thumping around unable to think rationally, hitting things and yelling a string of his own curses, before he sat on the coffee table alongside Daryl, both men looking more angry than hurt and yet Beth understood she had never seen either of them so broken. Beth had just stood there while Grant and Adam removed Daryl from Jonathon and calmed the child down, asking to hear what happened. There was a sickening panic in Beth chest, one that made her lungs taste like they were bleeding, one that pulled her chest so tight she half expected the muscles to crush her ribs.

Jonathan said they were by the creek getting water and taking in fresh air for Jakob who was having another attack when the walkers came, Elizabeth picked up Jakob and told Jonathan to run inside, he cried when he said that she told him to not look back and lock the door.

Daryl barley heard the words leave jonathans mouth before he picked up his crossbow and ran down to the creek, he found the blood and the marks where the body's laid and then he saw the feet that dragged away. He wanted to go and track them down for sure, not let them suffer as walkers, so did Dale, but they got cut off as they crossed the stream, neither of them found the tracks again. It was when they both returned, that it finally hit Beth, she had until then held out some hope, but all they had found was a healthy James who was wondering around lost.

Beth knew she should do something more than she was, she understood that you don't get to just lie around and greave now days, but she couldn't breathe let alone move, she cried for a while, unable to stop herself. When Daryl came back with James she attempted to hug him, by attempt she means she looked in his direction with that, _I need a hug or I might just die_ look, and he returned his, _please don't even look at me or I might just die_ look, so she stayed motionless on the bed, and continued sobbing into the pillow, while Amber uselessly tried to rub her back and be generally soothing but it wasn't helping.

At some point the next morning when Adam had insisted they all step out for some fresh air, Grant had put his hand on Daryl's shoulder and asked about Jonathon, if he was going to take care of him, and Daryl had hissed with the implication, yelled that he didn't replace Jake, that no one ever could, and then he'd swung at the man, knocking him against a stump. Dale ran in, only he wasn't stopping Daryl like he was expected to, he was just beating Daryl for the sake of it, and then Adam had joined the fight and it was nothing more than two men trying to control two savage beasts.

Two men who wouldn't be controlled, who were wounded and lashing out like a bear with a spear in it, no not like a bear, it reminded Beth a little of bullfighters, when you would see the spears sticking out of the bulls back, blood dripping, and the Spanish men would dance with them, avoiding being struck themselves but slowly letting the bull wear itself out, that's what Grant and Adam were doing to Dale and Daryl. They seemed to understand the nature of the two men, that they needed this, that they needed to physically wear themselves out. And so they Danced with the bulls, it was more savage than that though, more barbaric if possible.

At some point after that, much earlier than Daryl, Dale had slumped against Adam and given up, but Daryl redirected his anger into a tree and broke a few bones in his fist as he hit at it. That's where the two men differed. Dale now was over his anger, instead willing to accept the pain, the hurt and helplessness of losing his wife. He accepted what was, but Daryl wouldn't. Daryl understood it had happened, but he wouldn't accept it, he couldn't just understand that it couldn't be changed.

He did stop after a while, the thrashing and yelling and Beth thought it was going to be replaced with tears and sobs, but it wasn't, he just picked himself of the ground and walked inside, and sat on the foot of the bed and waited, that's what he was doing now. It had taken twenty four hours of realization before he was able to sit here like this, to not hit and scream and yell, it had taken him a full day to glance across at Beth with something like hurt and need, and maybe the want to be held. And now, and only now did Beth realize she couldn't offer that, she couldn't be there for him, because right now she was barley there for herself. She ducked her head into her hands and didn't cry, just hid away from the overcrowded little cabin, hid away from her pain, and silently hoped it would end.

It was Amber that decided to tend his hand, to help wipe the blood of his arms, she did the same to Dale but neither man looked grateful, they simply collapsed on the bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

Beth didn't know how long she sat in that chair staring out the window, remembering what it looked like to see them coming home from hunting, Daryl trudging along with his crossbow always ready, Jakob on his shoulders, often smiling away, or swinging the belt of squirrels as they walked. Other times Jakob would be running ahead, happily bounding up to the door with the pride of showing her that he caught something himself. Sometimes he would be running because Daryl was chasing him, only to catch him by the door and Beth would swing it open to both of them giggling like crazy people, eyes sparkling and teeth flashing. It seemed like a hundred days ran through her mind, the sky had darkened to black and the sun was peaking up again when she heard Daryl's voice.

Finally she managed to turn to it, only she realized he was just talking in his sleep, he was yelling out for Judith, it wasn't that uncommon that he did that, but there was a new pain in his voice. She tried to get up, to cross to him and comfort him like she usually did, but her legs refused to work, he'd woken up everyone from their various sleeping positions now, and she caught Judy's eye, the woman looked genuinely concerned, and sent Beth a sad look, it did nothing to comfort her, it just made her stomach queasy.

Dale eventually decided to shake Daryl awake. Beth could have told him that was a bad idea, but her voice still didn't work, and before she could force it, Daryl was wrestling the old man, slapping and groaning curses, before his mind cleared, and he slumped back with a look of apology. He didn't need to say it, to be honest Dale didn't even looked like he cared, he looked like he might have been grateful if Daryl punched his face into mush. Beth felt a single tear fall at that thought. She wiped it away, and it was the first time Daryl had noticed her since it happened.

He stood weekly and crossed to her, it seemed like an eternity of him standing in front of her, her staring blankly somewhere at his thighs before he dropped to his knees so that he was eye level. He had tears now, and they were softly making tracks down his face and he reached forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, let his head droop into her lap and sob until he could hardly breathe.

Beth could feel various eyes on them and that reminded her that she should do something, she blinked, tried to push the emptiness down and feel something. She picked up her hand that had been resting on the arm of the chair and put it on Daryl's back. It was supposed to be comforting, but it just caused him to hiss in pain, or surprise one of the two, but either way he drew back, did that annoying sniff he did when he was uncomfortable, wiped his tears and stood leaving without saying a word.

Beth caught Adam standing looking at the door and taking a few steps towards it. 'Don't' she managed. He glanced to her. 'He needs to be alone, just let him go beat up on walkers, he'll be back with some food in a day or so.' She said.

Adam shook his head. 'Not this time.'

Beth frowned a little, and then she nodded because she understood this might be different. 'Ok.'

'I won't let him know... I'll just follow him in case he runs into trouble.' Adam explained before stepping through the door.

Beth stood shakily, wiped at her face, crossed to aimlessly poke at the fire, looked around at everyone settling back into their sleeping positions, and caught sight of Dales shoulders shaking. She crossed to the bed and laid down beside him, she'd have liked to hug the man, to feel something, but she understood like Daryl it would have to be on his terms or he'd push her away, she settled for resting her hand on his back where she could feel him, but he could ignore her.

It took another ten minutes for him to finally whisper. 'I don't know...' he took in a sharp breath. 'If I can do this without her.'

Beth understood, she did, not just his meaning but why he felt like that. She let out a shaky breath. 'I know.'

Neither of them spoke, in fact the only people that spoke over the coming days were Amber James and occasionally Judy. Eventually Daryl and Adam returned, Beth looked at Daryl, hoping he had calmed down, he nodded in her direction and she had hope that it might be ok, but later that night, when she handed him his food, and pressed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently she heard the almost silent words. 'Don't touch me.'

She flinched and retracted her hand choosing to sit beside him making sure he had enough distance. She waited until he finished his meal before she answered. 'I need you Daryl.'

She thought she hadn't said it loud enough, thought maybe he was too distracted to have heard, but just when she was about to wet her lips and try again he looked her in the eye, and it was intense and invasive as always. She reached to brush her fingers against his and he flinched, she knew it was involuntary, but still it hurt more than it should. '...Just... don't, please'

Beth felt her eyes burn at that, she hoped he was going to reach forward, but he didn't. 'Daryl... I need...' She let out a sob that got the attention of everyone else in the room.

His face softened a little at that but he still seemed closed. He reached for her bowl. 'You've got me... I just cant...'

Those words got her attention and she tried to wipe the sadness from her eyes. 'It hurts.' He concluded.

Beth nodded, and watched as he crossed to the sink before picking up his bow and waxing the string. At some point James crossed to sit by her, and offer her comfort, but it just seemed invasive more than anything. She prayed that things were going to change, because it was impossible for her to live if she was going to lose Daryl too.

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**A/A sorry about missing the update. hope you all are keen to write a oneshot. please review!**


	66. Tell me Sum'fin'

**A/N Hope you like this chappy! Also really hope some of you took up my one shot challenge, let me know if you did, I'd love to read them!**

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Daryl was starting to really worry Beth, ever since he returned he had sat there, unmoving, flinching at any contact, unable to form words or wipe the look of hate of his face. Beth knew not to push him, to give him time but she wondered how long it might take. Her own heart was aching, for Jakob and Elizabeth, and even Slayer who was mysteriously missing. Beth was sure that the walkers couldn't have got the better of him also, still he was missing.

The pain even for Beth was unmanageable but she had to keep going, had to look after Daryl and Dale, she had a job, they all had jobs and that's what gave her purpose, she had to feed them and make sure they both kept breathing.

Daryl tried for the first few days, he'd nod at her at least, offer a few words, but on the third day after he'd returned from that first hunt, after Adam, James and the children came back from a walk upstream saying they found what they believed to be Slayers remains Daryl seemed to give up. He spent most of his days hunting, or just being away, during the nights he'd take watch and he stopped even looking at Beth.

Adam seemed to be fairly supportive, even towards Daryl, despite the fact that it was probably Daryl that broke his nose, and James stepped up, helping Beth with chores and even talking, mostly about Jakob, sometimes about their old life, occasionally about their families, Beth was grateful for the company. Grateful for the warm shoulder on her hand, the reassuring smiles, grateful for the smallest kindness that he offered.

Judy never said a word, she faded into the background and it took eight hours of her missing for anyone to realize. Adam and Grant were about to go looking for her when her walker body returned. Daryl did it, put her down, and he almost looked happy about it, didn't even have the decency to flinch, in fact he really went overkill on her, turned her head into much, until there was nothing really left of it. Everyone looked at him with disgust apart from Dale and Beth, somehow, somewhere in her she understood his need to do that, why he would be so cruel. Grant dug the grave, and there was only a hint of remorse when Daryl dropped her in there and muttered something about sorry she never felt safe.

He went out hunting the next morning, and he didn't come back for another two days, on the third day Beth decided to go looking for him, it wasn't hard to follow the trail of walker bodies, and even when they became less frequent she understood where he was heading.

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She cracked the door open and stepped inside, making her way up the passage to the room. The door was closed shut and she knocked lightly before pushing it open. There he was sitting knees to his chest hugging himself, only the slightest hint of confusion on his face when she stepped in.

He did look different though, less hostile, more reasonable. She chewed at her lip for a moment, it had been nearly two weeks and she hadn't mentioned his name, James had, more than once, but Beth herself had never said it. But she would now. 'Jakob told me about this place.' She offered.

'Hm.' Came the disgruntled reply.

She smiled softly to herself and let a tear drop from her eye. 'He brought me up her... back before he spoke, it's the first time...' She wiped at her eyes. 'First time he said anything, he repeated something you'd said... about pretending this was a better place, that you were his father...you used to read to him here...' She stepped closer to him. 'I found it before then... before Jake at all, after Hope... I came up here a few times once I realized what it was, just to sit here with your things...'

Daryl sniffed a little. 'You kill him?'

Beth looked a little confused, because yes she thought that if she hadn't left them to go looking for Daryl they might still be alive, Jakob might still be alive. But the thought that that's how he felt too stung. Daryl must've caught the look on her face because he decided to clarify it. 'My pops?'

Beth glanced back to the door as she sat carefully on the bed. 'Yeah...before I knew.'

'Good thing too.' Daryl decided.

'Why?' She understood Daryl hated his father, but she thought somewhere in him he might have felt a little sad, knowing the man that created him was gone.

Daryl shrugged. 'Girl like you wouldn't have lasted long round here with him and Merle...''F I brought ya home before...'

'Don't' Beth decided.

Daryl finally looked at her and it was sad, but honest. He shook his head a little. 'In the end I'm where I started, I ain't much different... thought I was better, Jake, n you made me believe... look where it got me.'

Beth shifted because she understood, and she couldn't really deny that he was pretty much back where he stated only worse off.

'Should just end it now... opt out and be done with it.' He commented. Beth's eyes snapped to his, and she understood the feeling of hopelessness because she'd felt it before but the thought of Daryl feeling like that was beyond comprehension. He must've noticed the horror on her face because he huffed slightly and continued. 'Not sayin' I will, ain't never do that, just... now I understand it.' He explained. '...I didn't before.'

Beth eyed him cautiously unsure whether he actually wanted to talk or not. She bit her lip and pressed forward a little. 'Before?' He looked like he wanted to get it out.

He sniffed in that way that he did when he was trying to stuff his feelings down. 'I had a sister once...'

'I know... I mean I saw the...' She pointed to the bedside drawer that held the newspaper clipping.

Daryl narrowed his eyes slightly and then decided to continue. 'She had a kid... she was fourteen, no one knew he was hers... dad told people it was his n ma's... mighta been his, dunno.' Daryl decided. 'No one really cared, dad just thought it was another mouth to feed, ma was too stoned ta care, Merle was in juvie, Sandy, my sister was fucked up... so I'd hang out with him, watch out for him...then ma got pissed and burnt the place down with them in it... she opted out after that, my sister, after she couldn't watch out for him, Sandy hung herself in the tree' Daryl's head jerked toward the window. 'We built this place and then she hung herself, didn't think about us, just did what the hell she wanted... ain't never understood it till I lost him... I was so sad when I lost my nephew, but... Jake' Daryl answered.

Beth reached to rest her hand on his knee, disappointed when he automatically flinched away, she swallowed and willed it not to happen when she tried again. 'Daryl...'

He squeezed his eyes shut as a tear dropped past them. 'I'm tryin ok.' It was a flat response to the question she hadn't asked yet.

Beth understood he was, that just because his reaction was so different to hers didn't make it any less important she swallowed and decided to push forward, they couldn't stay here doing this forever.

'The others want to return to the camp... Adam and Grant went back, they found survivors... the walkers are gone.'

Daryl looked at her for a moment. 'What do you want?'

She swallowed and thought for a moment. 'I want whatever you want... I want to be where you are, want you to stop running off on me... I know you can't handle things being the way they were right now...between us, you can't even stand to talk to me...' She paused reading the look of guilt on his face. 'It's ok... I know, but I need to be with you.'

Daryl scrubbed his hands over his face. He felt awful, guilty, mean, but he didn't have the emotion to muster anything more than he was at the moment, he didn't know how to act, what to do or say. 'Then tell me what we need to do?' He answered.

Beth took a deep breath and moved an inch closer. 'We need to go bury my dad... get supplies, and we need to stop looking for Judith... maybe one more sign, but we can't look forever, I've seen what you've done, if they're alive they'll find us, we need to regroup and heal and we need to find them... Dale is coming, he needs people, he's like you, he'll slip away if we don't move soon.'

Daryl took a moment before nodding, the information he received was hard to process, but he knew Beth was right. 'Ok.'

'Ok?'

'Ok.' He stood, and for the first time in two weeks Beth felt him press his hand on her back as he led her down the passage and out the stingy little house. And she thought it just might be ok, he might be coming back to her in some small way.

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**A/N please don't think they're awful for leaving Judith, but they don't feel there's a chance of finding her now. Clearly they're too depressed to really make good decisions. Also for those of you that don't get the reference it was Hershel's head in the cooler, and that's what she's referring to when she says she wants to go and bury her dad.**

Also for those of you not logged in that wanted to have a go at the oneshots, you can e-mail them tome. my address is. (sam 1856 davis hotmail . com) no spaces though :) im so excited!


	67. Buerying somethin'

**just wanted to say a special thankyou to annie and the butterfly girl, both of your reviews have really been amazing!**

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'None of them fancy scriptures or nothing?' Daryl asked as he finished the, 'R.' On beloved father.

Beth shook her head. 'No just that.'

Daryl's eyes glanced over the four crosses. _Elizabeth, Beloved Son, Slayer and Beloved Father_. He picked them all up, handing the father one to Beth and marched toward the grave plot behind the barn.

It felt so strange being here now, on the farm, before it was a safe refuge filled with people, now it was empty and lonely and no more safe than any other place. Daryl had already dug the hole just big enough to fit the cooler into and he hammered the crosses into the ground, Herschel's near Beth's mothers, Slayers over by Maggie's goldfish, which was only two twigs tied together, Elizabeth by Beth's grandparents and Jakob's in between Hershel and the woman he'd never met.

Beth said some sort of prayer and reached for his hand while muttering about being dust and returning to it, or something. Daryl couldn't really concentrate on the words, he was just thinking about how pathetic it was, having services for bodiless people, it felt like Otis again.

It felt like his whole arm was aching with the contact that he'd deprived himself from for weeks, he didn't even know why he had done that, maybe simply because it hurt knowing he was near the last thing he loved, maybe he was trying to distance himself, knowing he'd lose her eventually, maybe that's why he was pushing her away; so he'd feel it less when it happened. But it was pointless; he wanted to be near to her more than ever. He squeezed her hand and watched as the tears fell from her eyes.

Daryl wasn't sure how long they stayed there like that, her glancing reverently over the graves and him watching her. But it was long enough for the sun to dip below the horizon when he finally tried to speak. 'We should go.' He nodded back to the car.

Beth sniffled and wiped her tears. 'We should raid the house...' The look she received was like it was wrong of her to suggest it. 'For once it wouldn't be stealing and there's allot of useful things... I want a picture of my family.' She decided.

Daryl nodded. 'It's dark, maybe we should stay the night?'

Beth agreed and led them inside. Daryl cleared the house, although it was as empty as the land, while Beth cleaned up the rotten food that was left on the bench from their final meal before the group left in a hurry that night.

* * *

Daryl stood in the doorway leaning against it, and finally felt his heart strum something that wasn't all pain. For the first time since it happened he wasn't thinking about Jakob, maybe it was being here in this place, but it was just Beth.

Maybe like how it used to be, he remembers coming in late after looking for Sophia, hungry and tired and he would see Beth clearing dishes as she was now. Sometimes Maggie would be there and Glen too, Rick would be chatting to Hershel over at the table, and Andrea and Shane would be cleaning their guns on the porch, Lorri would be running around frantically asking _Dale_ where Carl was and Carol would be of in a corner, by herself or talking to T-dog or something. But Beth was always there, sometimes that Jimmy kid would be hanging around, or talking to that old lady, most times hanging back watching Beth like Daryl was now. But Beth would be there, always working silently, taking care of everyone, doing her duty like it was nothing.

He didn't even realize he'd crossed to her until he felt her hips moving under his hands, she was stirring something on the little gas stove, it looked like pasta and canned tomatoes, it wouldn't be particularly tasty, but it would be warm and made by her, so that was good. 'What did you think of me then?' The question was genuine, he wanted to know, because he'd just realized now that even back then he knew she was something different.

'Huh?'

'Back when we were here last? What did you think of me?' He asked again.

Beth took a breath as she continued stirring. 'Allot, I suppose... I was curious, then scared of you, but after I helped daddy look after you... mostly curious... I wondered why someone like you was with this group, you were angry and bitter, but you and Rick never fit with the others, you both were survivors, but it was different, you both wanted to do the right thing... _Dale_ too, you were different... smarter, you knew what was going on from the beginning... I guess I just wanted to know you.'

Daryl wondered on that for a moment before smiling. '...You do.' He answered as he pressed a kiss to her neck. She did, because somehow her gentle persuasion had talked him around to wanting to live again, to being hopeful that she was going to be part of his future, talked him out of his instinct to run. He was still hurting over Jakob, he figured it would never go away. Loss this deep, losses like his nephew, and Sophia, and Judith and Jakob never went away, the guilt and the pain stayed with you till the day you died. But something in Beth made it dull a little. Only she could do that, only she could know how to make him forget and it seemed like she wasn't even trying.

'What did you think of me?' The sudden question broke his thoughts and made him blink a little, he stepped back allowing her to reach for the bowls and spoon the food into them. He shrugged. 'I thought ya were stupid... doin' little jobs, washing and cooking fancy meals, n cleanin' things we din' really need... now I know ya was just takin' care of everyone else, but then I figured you'd get yourself eaten right up straights away.'

'Still think that?' Beth asked looking for clean cutlery.

'Nah... maybe ya just smart, taking care of us so we can take care of you.' He decided. 'We need that shit, keep us human, ya know.'

Beth smiled and joined him taking a seat on the bench, unwilling to sit at the table to eat without her father offering grace. She ate a mouthful of pasta and assessed the change in Daryl's mood again, he seemed too serious, for a moment he had almost relaxed and now he was turning cold again, she tried to think of something to keep him talking, anything. 'Maggie thought you were cute... she had such a crush on you.' Beth smiled at the memories.

'She hates me.' Daryl answered as he stuffed the spoon into his mouth, grateful for light conversation to distract him from his sad musings.

Beth understood it too, it's the reason why she began the ridiculous conversation. 'She thought you were so hot, she's always liked bad boys though... she was going to wait to see if you'd make a move, but Glen did, and she was just desperate for anything exciting.'

'She loves glen.' Daryl answered, as if Beth's words had to be false.

Beth smiled a little. 'She does now, at first she didn't, it was just something... she kept laughing about how he followed her around like a lost puppy, said _a real man like that Daryl wouldn't be so clingy_...' Beth laughed softly. 'Then one day she got upset at me laughing about it... we were on the road then, I said something about your arms being huge, every time I said something you she'd accuse me of having a crush of my own, and I'd tease her about Glen, that day I said she was just jealous because Glen wasn't a real man with massive guns like yours... and she said that real men weren't measured on looks, but on heart, I teased her for a moment before she gave me that look, the one that told me to stop, and she said Glen had heart, I guess that's when I knew she'd fell for him, either that or she'd spent enough time with you for you to piss her off, I wanted to tell her back then, that it still wasn't as big as yours, but no one would have believed me, so I just left her alone.' Beth laughed softly. 'She does love him so much now.' Beth's voice sounded a little sad at that admission.

Daryl smirked a little. 'Think she'll be pissed when she finds out about us then?' he swallowed another mouth full of noodles and watched Beth suck some up. 'Her little sister shacking up...with a real man?' He asked teasingly.

'Yeah... she'll be so angry.' Beth answered. 'She won't be surprised about me really I don't think, but you'll shock her, she reckons you've got a heart of stone that ya cant...' Beth let her voice trail out because admitting that was a little too rough, especially given the current circumstances where Daryl's heart was indeed breaking. He flinched a little and withdrew, Beth was wishing she didn't say it when he crossed and dropped his plate in the sink. 'Don't care what no back wash farm girl thinks anyway.' He answered.

'I didn't mean...'

'Doesn't matter...' Daryl looked around cautiously as Beth finished her bowl and put it in the sink also.

Beth sighed softly and attempted to hug him, he barley allowed it, but she didn't mind, she knew Daryl was like that sometimes, and she reminded herself not to take it personally. Elizabeth had said Dale was the same ad sometimes you just have to push through it, as long as they're not pushing you away, then it's welcomed. She pushed down that feeling of sadness for her friend and pulled back a little.

'I'm tired.' She stated, and she was; maybe from the effort they'd put in physically or maybe from the emotional pain, but either was she was tired. She wanted to go to bed, find her own clothes, and use... 'Daryl I can brush my teeth!' She realized happily. It would be the first time in a few weeks at least that she'd have access to a clean toothbrush. 'C'mon' she pulled him along, finding her old room easily and looking for fresh clothes.


	68. Something to itch that scratch

**A/N All feels, don't get too excited, but I think it's nice to see someone take care of Daryl. Also sorry for the morbid sadness of this chapter, but I think we need to focus on missing Jakob a little. I know some of you are upset by Jakob's disappearance/Death, But he needs to be gone for a bit so they can get to all those dirty moments... eventually. Please console yourself with the idea that I'd expect all those hunting trips with Daryl would have taught the boy something, and really I think Daryl's son will be the last boy standing, but who knows how long they might take to find each other, maybe it won't happen till he's all grown up? Maybe we won't ever find out? Elizabeth may be dead or alive or maybe a twisted Jakob might keep her as a pet who knows? I'm not admitting any particular plans atm so you'll just have to be patient. xox**

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Beth took a while enjoying the small pleasures, putting on her own clean underwear, shaving her legs, brushing her hair with a clean brush that had only ever been run through her own and Maggies hair, using deodorant, slipping into her own pyjamas, and using her own toothbrush, she felt clean and fresh in a way that she hadn't in a long time, she wanted to share it.

'Daryl, come here!' She called.

It was a few moments later that she caught his reflection in the mirror, she wasn't sure he was going to come, and even if he didn't she didn't mind, he didn't enjoy this stuff as much as her, but she still wanted to share it with him if he was willing. She smiled brightly.

'What?' He'd suddenly appeared in the doorway of the little bathroom.

'You want to clean up?' She asked happily. His eyes scanned over the basin and cupboard and he shrugged, although he did step forward a little. 'That's Shawn's drawer.' She pointed to the third one down.

Daryl bent and opened it, it would have been nice to have a real shower, but there was no idea of telling how many walkers had fallen into the wells and neither of them considered showering in cold walker soaked water, so he didn't even suggest it. His eyes glanced over the contents, there was a variety of zit treatments, deodorant, toothbrush, comb, a few various other items, but nothing of use, he picked up the deodorant, that looked like the only thing he could use. He undid the top few buttons of his shirt so that he could shove his hand in and spray his armpits. He glanced at Beth who was happily brushing her teeth, he popped the can back in the drawer and closed it as she spat out the toothpaste.

'Is that all?' She asked.

Daryl shrugged, 'Ain't got zits, n' I ain't usin' ya brothers toothbrush... Use yours when ya done, if ya dun' mind.' Daryl answered.

Beth sighed, re-applying the toothpaste to her own brush. 'Here.' She was aware it wasn't the most generous offer, before the idea of sharing a toothbrush with someone, even someone who regularly had parts of their mouth in her mouth would have disgusted her, but things like that didn't matter now, not after you'd had brain matter dripping down you, not after your had someone's arteries pop and spray in your eye and up your nose, not after you'd had the taste of rotten blood in your mouth, sharing a toothbrush with a person you kissed seemed like it really wasn't disgusting anymore.

Daryl took it and whacked it into his mouth without thought. He scrubbed his mouth for what seemed like an eternity, so long that Beth gave up waiting and reached for the comb in Shawn's drawer, and started combing his hair into one direction. She caught his eyes meeting hers in the mirror, and she saw the slight annoyance, like he thought it was stupid, but he turned away from the mirror to face her and slumped against the cupboard so she could comb the front too.

Daryl pulled the brush from his mouth added more toothpaste and continued, scrubbing at his teeth. It was lazier now, not the fervent need to get them clean now, it was slow strokes and she saw him swishing his tongue around as if gratefully exploring the slipperiness of his freshly cleaned teeth.

Beth huffed a small laugh. 'You like brushing your teeth huh?' She asked.

Daryl's eyes shot to hers, they'd been half closed a moment ago, he pulled the brush from his mouth. 'Just feel nice, I guess.' He said, like it was stupid.

Beth continued combing his hair, it wasn't long now so really she didn't have to, but it felt nice caring for him, caring for someone more than herself. She was smiling at him. 'It's ok, do it for as long as you want... I like brushing hair... I used to brush Maggies for hours.' She commented.

'Yeah.' Daryl swatted at her hand a little as he pushed the toothbrush into his mouth.

'Hey.' Beth scolded bringing the comb back to his scalp. 'Let me.'

Normally Daryl would have pushed her hands away, wouldn't put up with it, tell her he wasn't a girl and didn't need it done. But the truth was he was pretty sure he had lice and the comb was doing a pretty good job of scratching the itch, he figured Beth knew that because she was digging it in a little at the base of his neck and behind his ears.

She continued and eventually he spat out the toothbrush, despite the fresh feeling he was drawing from it, in favour of just purely enjoying the feeling of having his scalp scratched. He didn't realize how much he was enjoying it until he heard himself let out a heavy sigh, he pulled his head up from her shoulder where it had started resting, looking for the unfamiliar source of the noise when he realized it was his own.

Beth laughed a little and turned to the bottom drawer and pulled out a bottle of brown liquid. She opened it and started tipping it into her hand, smiling when she saw the look on Daryl's face. 'Lice solution, you leave it on for half an hour and they'll die.' She explained. 'I've had them for a few weeks, I figured you have too.' She answered.

Daryl nodded and let her rub the liquid into his head and comb it through. It felt like the itching intensified for a while before it settled. It didn't smell great but if it worked it would be worth it. 'N' you guys just happen to carry lice solution.' Daryl rolled his eyes at how prepared her family was.

Beth shrugged. 'Yeah, my mum was a pre-school teacher, so we used to all do it regularly.' She explained, as she finished up. Daryl nodded, that made sense. He looked around the darkened room and stood a little. 'You don't have to stay, mine will take a while, there's no water to wash it out, so you may as well go and rest.' Beth decided.

'Ya don't need help?' He asked.

Beth shook her head, she was used to doing this. 'No its ok, go rest, you look tired.' He nodded, and stepped away. Beth felt almost sad that he didn't insist on staying, but that quickly diminished when she caught his intense gaze in the mirror before he stepped out of sight. It was the one that made her giddy, and warm and sent shivers down her spine all at once.

* * *

She walked down the hallway and felt a sense of calm wash over her, a contentedness that she hadn't realized she'd missed so much. Daryl was still sitting on the edge of her bed when she came back, looking uneasy, fingers scrunching the corner of the quilt, and it made her smile. 'You look nervous.' She answered.

He shrugged a little. 'Caught Glen sneaking up to Maggies room a couple of times... didn't think I'd end up in here.' He answered, he wasn't even sure if that was the reason for his uneasiness, but it was _a_ reason.

Beth smiled. 'Oh...I didn't think...' She paused and shot him a devious smile. 'Didn't know you were thinking like that.'

'Like what?' As soon as he caught her eye he realized he didn't need to ask.

'Oh, I-I just...' He wasn't really sure what was going on, there was such a range of emotions in him at the moment, most of them were things like anger and bitterness and hurt, but there was a part of him that wanted what she wanted, to hold her, know that she was alive and safe and his, wanted to be held, until all the pain seeped out of his pores.

She was walking towards him, but she didn't beeline to him, he was expecting that she would, but instead she sat beside him, and hooked her arm through his. 'Could you imagine if this was back then? They'd all be so mad... my Daddy would have kicked you all off, probably, he was so angry about Glen at first... Carol would have been so jealous, and _Dale_ probably would have had a chat with you... or me. Patricia probably would have told me I didn't know what I was doing...' Beth realized she wasn't making this sound so good. ' I don't think anyone will really mind now though.'

Daryl shrugged. 'Doesn't matter, s'long as you're happy I don' care.' He answered.

Beth smiled at that, because even though she was far from happy right now, in general he did make her happy. 'You make me happy.' She confessed.

Daryl shifted and she thought he was going to get up and walk away, but he didn't, he was kicking of his boots and moving her back onto the bed. Once he had her positioned where he wanted her he laid across her and kissed her, it was slow and his movements were jiggered, like he was fighting with himself to choose this over wallowing in his pain, and Beth briefly realized her movements were the same, unsure ad unsteady.

It was slow, but deliberate, and he seemed a little too still, but it felt nice to have this sort of contact with him after so many weeks of almost none. She heard him make some sort of strangled noise and his head dipped a little, it was confusing but when she lifted his head she saw tears brimming at his eyes and she understood. '...It's not the same is it?' She asked it because she felt it too, she couldn't just enjoy this for what it was like before, now it felt guilt ridden and painful and like it was missing something.

He shook his head slightly.

'It never will be... I don't think.' She answered. He didn't respond to that, so she continued. 'Do you blame me... because I left them?'

Daryl's face flushed, drained to a white and then peaked to a red and he looked almost angry when he shook his head. 'No... why would you...'

'I do.' She answered honestly.

'S'not your fault Beth...' She felt his arms tighten around her. 'It just happens in this world, ain't nobody's fault.' He confirmed, catching her tears with his fingers. That was all the encouragement he needed to continue, he wanted to take the hurt away, make her feel something else, make him feel anything else.

He started kissing her again, gently, fearing that he'd scare himself off, hoping that she'd make him stay here, because this was the first time since it had happened that he didn't feel so alone. He took a shaky breath and kissed her deeper, seeking to be as close as possible, he could feel his own tears falling freely, mixing with hers and didn't care, for once in his life didn't care that someone was seeing him cry, someone was seeing him weak, he just needed to be closer and wrapped up in something that wasn't hurt.

Beth was moving, squirming under him and he briefly thought he was hurting her but then he realized she was being impatient as he felt. He was trying to make it work, but he couldn't get his body to respond at all, he wanted this, but he couldn't figure out how to get into the mood. It didn't matter, he continued pushing against her and kissing her like he'd never have the chance to do it again.

He felt her hands at his belt buckle and wasn't sure whether to let her continue or stop her, so he ignored it, and concentrated just on devouring her mouth, hoping he'd talk himself into it.

'Daryl?'

He paused and pulled back a little, slightly embarrassed, but not really able to elicit such unimportant feelings from himself now. 'Yeah?'

'Do you want to?' She asked.

He nodded, then shook his head, then nodded. Then laughed at the pathetic situation, 'Don't know.'

'You don't know?' She asked.

He took an exasperated breath. 'I want to but... I dunno, it's not...I want, want to, want you, but I don't know why... maybe I just need a minute.'

'Oh.' She understood. She tried running her hands over his jeans where his hardness would usually be. 'Is there something I can do?'

Daryl chuckled again, it was weak, but he tried. 'Nah... just, I dunno, don't normally have this problem.' He admitted, he knew he was supposed to be ashamed, he vaguely thought he heard Merles voice teasing him, telling him that no brother of his would have trouble getting it up, but he didn't even really care at the moment.

'I know.' She swallowed. 'Is it because...of you know?' She didn't want to say his name, but she may as well have by Daryl's reply.

He dropped his head and sobbed, not the quiet tears he'd let slip in the past but a heavy sob that racked his shoulders, accompanied by loud gasps for air, and his hands were pushing and pulling and unable to still. And the feeling of him finally breaking apart sent Beth over the edge, she'd cried for Jakob already, more than once, but now she couldn't control it, couldn't slow it, and she whined and cried and held onto the last thing she had left with brutal force.

She wasn't sure if she was hurting more for herself or for Daryl who was rolling around on her, clutching at his chest and whining, gasping for breaths and muttering about how much it hurts, but either way she was hurting, throbbing with an overwhelming pain.

Neither of them were sure how long they stayed like that, but it was a long time, long enough to exhaust them both. Eventually their tears dried and they were left with dry hiccupped heaves of pain, and Daryl moved sideways, and let Beth wrap around him, and they both closed their eyes, unsure if it was a sleep or a deep trance of pain, but they both entered it, and awaited the morning, when they could breathe again.

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**A/N Reviews please. :D**


	69. Somethin' I had ta say

**A/N Mostly a bunch of Dale feels, just wanted to express how much he means to them, it's ok, don't stress nothing is going to happen to him. :D**

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'Next week?' Dale asked.

Beth nodded. 'We got allot of supplies from the farm, but we want to make one final sign for Judith, and... we just need a bit of time, you know deal with things, get ourselves together before we meet up with everyone, so Monday, Daryl wants to take goat trails, stay of the highways, says it will be a two day trip like that.' Beth explained.

Dale nodded. 'Adam wants to come... with his kids, James too.'

'Grant?' Beth asked.

'No, he thinks it's too dangerous, wants to stay here.' Dale answered. 'I'm going to go back to camp, pack... I'll wait for you there.'

'Dale?' She sounded a little surprised by the suggestion.

'No you both need the time alone.' He affirmed.

Beth stepped forward a little. 'But you don't.' She answered quickly.

'I'll be fine.' He answered.

Beth bit her lip nervously, she knew Dale probably wouldn't appreciate her bringing it up, but she decided to voice her thoughts anyway. 'Elizabeth told me... that if one of you were to die... the other would...' Beth couldn't say it, couldn't imagine it. 'Don't do it... I don't think I can lose you too, promise you're coming with us?'

Dale looked her solidly in the eye and nodded. 'That was before we had you guys.' He explained. 'I know it's not an option now.'

He sat back down and poked at the fire, as Beth watched him, constantly drawing comparisons between him and Daryl, he was softer in some ways, but his words were just as direct. Beth kneeled down beside him and looped her arm around his shoulders. 'Good... because I love you Dale.'

She felt him flinch at the words, in much the same way Daryl used to, but she didn't mind, he'd flinched but not pulled away, and like Elizabeth said, if they weren't pushing you away, they were welcoming it, so she told herself that he needed to hear that as much as she needed to say it.

'Beth?' Daryl's voice broke the moment, and she paused the older man for a moment before she pulled away, feeling Dales hand rest on her forearm, and she squeezed a little and pressed a kiss to the side of his face.

She turned to Daryl and saw the softening apology on his face, like he felt guilty for interrupting. 'Yeah?'

'M' keen ta get back ta the cabin, been people everywhere for weeks.' He admitted, he realy needed some alone time.

Beth nodded and headed for the car. Noting that Daryl had paused to look at Dale, she continued and figured she'd leave him to say whatever he obviously wanted to. 'Sure ya don wanna come?' He asked.

'Just a few days, I'm sure you'll need the time alone.' Dale answered.

Daryl nodded slightly, before changing his mind and shaking his head instead, he took half a step forward. 'We ain't wanna be without ya.'

'I need time alone.' Dale admitted, he hadn't wanted to say it, but maybe it was best just being honest.

Daryl wiped at his face. 'You'll be right though?' Daryl worried.

Dale smiled slightly and stepped forward clapping his hand on Daryl's shoulder in an attempt to reassure him. 'Sure, I'll be right here waiting for ya son.'

Daryl's head dropped a little, he didn't miss the endearment, he can't remember the first time Dale had directed it at him, but he knows it sort of makes him feel proud and ashamed at the same time, he wanted to give some sort of reply to that, but he couldn't think of how, it just left him feeling confused. And Dale caught it, slapping his cheek slightly, just enough to get Daryl to lift it again. 'I'm fine Daryl, just go make your sign, pack up and I'll see you in five days.' Daryl nodded, shifted on his feet slightly and let out a small huff of breath in reply. 'What's up man?' Dale asked.

Daryl shrugged slightly. 'Just worried 'bout ya is all.' Daryl admitted off handedly.

Dale smiled. 'I won't get eaten I swear.'

'Nah I mean... bein' alone, just...' Daryl shrugged, he wanted to say something casual, like _I love you man, don't want ya offing yourself_, but that wasn't really going to work. 'Just look after yaself.' Daryl advised stepping back a little, 'Pops.' He added, averting his eyes, hoping it didn't sound too stupid, but hoping that it was enough to explain to Dale what he thought of him.

Dale waited to catch his eye before answering. It was invasive and made Daryl shift from one foot to the other. 'You're like my own boy Daryl, n I ain't going nowhere without ya.'

Daryl seemed happy with that, he sniffed and straightened and headed to the car, glancing back to Dale one last time, giving him a reassuring nod.

* * *

Beth was looking at him when he hoped in, he ignored her for a moment while he hotwired it, she was still watching him. They drove for fifteen minutes and she was still watching him. It was getting annoying. 'What?' He almost snapped, he regretted his tone immediately but she didn't seem fazed by it.

'Nothing... I'm just thinking.' She answered.

'Why do you think I god damn asked?' He glanced at her, and could see her face was a little sad, he took a breath. 'Figured ya were thinkin'?' He offered, trying to sound a little more comforting.

'Just about you.' Daryl spared her an annoyed look of impatience so she elaborated. 'Bout how much I love you... even when ya being a jerk, all moody and grumpy, I just haven't told ya in a while I guess.'

Daryl loosened his knuckles on the steering wheel a little and he let out the breath he'd been holding. 'Yeah ya do.' Beth looked slightly amused so he elaborated. 'Ya tell me, even when ya don't say it.'

'I know, it's just nice to say it sometimes, to let you hear it.' She commented.

Daryl unconsciously wet his lips a little and glanced at her, she was looking happily out the windshield, she didn't look upset but the comment was odd. 'Ya mad at me?' He asked, because she was being a little too quiet.

Beth looked to him with a frown and shook her head. 'Why would I be?'

Daryl looked back to the road and shrugged. 'Just thought coz...hm.' He decided to stop.

'Why?' She pushed.

He swerved around a walker for a moment before he eyed her for a second. 'Just coz ya said it should be said, n' just coz I don' say it dun' mean I...'

'I know.' Beth finished before he had to. 'I know, it's different though, I know, but for me, I feel like you have to hear it, I don't have to hear you say it though, I can see it.'

Daryl didn't answer, he didn't need to, but the more he thought about the fact that he didn't need to answer the more strange that felt, he shifted and laughed slightly, earning a confused look from Beth. 'Nothin'... just I dun' feel bad no more, used ta hate it when you said it, when Jake... just didn't like hearin' it, was always waitin' for the other shoe to drop.' He explained.

'Other shoe?' Beth asked, wondering what that could possibly mean.

Daryl shrugged. 'Me ole' man used ta say it, never knew what the hell it meant... he'd beat my ass into the ground, then he'd wind up later that night tryna...' Daryl swallowed and wondered briefly how Beth could get him to just want to talk about everything, even without trying. He swallowed. 'Yeah well he'd say it, and I never meant jack shit, just meant that he was gonna hurt... s'why I ain't like sayin' it I guess. Coz that's all it means, just like it just means hurt.'

Beth gave him a tight lipped smile and reached to rub his arm softly. 'Well I only ever said it because it's exactly what I mean.' She affirmed before instantly shifting the conversation, knowing that he was uncomfortable, he poked at the broken sterio and looked at him. 'What happened?'

Daryl shrugged. 'Fuckin' sex songs and Judy's smirk.' He explained.

Beth frowned again, thistime with disbeleif. 'What?'

He shrugged. 'We was drivin' and I changed the disk, was just one fuckin' sex song after another, and Judy was sitting there smirking... and it made me angry.'

'I didn't know we had a sex song CD?' Beth laughed softly.

Daryl shrugged. 'It was unmarked.'

'Fair enough.' Beth would've once thought someone losing their temper like that was ridiculous, but now, it just seemed ok, she went back to looking out the window for a bit before deciding, 'I can't wait to eat that BigCat!'

'What?'

'The BigCat, you never ate it did you?' She asked.

Daryl had to think for a moment before he remembered the offending chocolate bar, no he'd stuffed it in the bedside drawer and had never touched it, kept it as a reminder to behave, not that it had worked. 'Nah.'

'Good, I'm really craving chocolate.'

'Great.' He commented, that made sense why her mood was all over the place today.

Beth frowned for a moment before realizing what he was thinking and smiling. 'Not like that, I'm not due for a while, I just really feel like chocolate.' She explained.

Daryl nodded, it was strange this, this complete comfortableness he shared with her, it had been missing for the last few weeks, things had seemed awkward again, and it didn't feel completely fixed, but it felt like they were finding a way back to that.

The smile Daryl cracked at her seemed a little unrealistic, she wasn't sure why he was smiling, but it was a rarity, especially since they'd lost Jakob, it had virtually disappeared, she really thought she'd never see it again. And she had to reach over and pinch his cheeks checking she wasn't imagining it, he batter her hand away and returned his eyes to the road.

'It's fuckin' real, don't poke.' He grumbled.

'I feel normal again...' Beth decided. She looked to him, gauging his reaction. 'I'm not going to forget, and I'm still sad but I... feel again.'

Daryl nodded. 'I know'

'You?'

'I never stopped feelin'.' He commented, before rephrasing that. 'Yeah, more normal.' He answered.

'I'm not going to cry today.' Beth decided.

Daryl wanted to make some smart arse comment about that being a first in the last three and a half weeks, but he didn't, he just reached for her hand and squeezed it gently as they continued their drive towards their little cabin.

* * *

**A/N sorry if this isn't perfect, I've been really sick today, but ill re-edit it tomorrow if I wake up and realize its awful. Lol.**

**Please review!**


	70. Somethin's back

**A/N Hey sorry my upload is so late, I've got a terrible flu, N' I've been drifting off to sleep constantly. Anyway, I know this chapter is a little slower, but I'm sure the end will make you smile, and the next coming chapters should be a little exciting. :D**

**alsoto whoever asked yeah dales at camp while beth n daryl pack up supplies from the cabin :)**

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Daryl was unusually still, and the look of concentration on his face made Beth slightly nervous. He often had that look when he was fixing their bows, but the way he had paused to sit still for a moment had her worried.

'What's wrong?' She finally asked.

He swallowed hard and shook his head a little. 'Nuttin'.'

She crossed to him and put her hand on his forehead. 'Are you sick?'

He shook his head, before answering. 'Maybe... m' fine.'

Beth brow knitted together. 'You don't look fine, you look a little pale.'

He pulled his head away and put her bow on his lap, fixing the sight, putting a barrier between them. 'Fine.' He reaffirmed.

Beth sighed annoyed and decided to go about making lunch, on their last run they'd found a bunch of soup, probably way out of date, but tasty all the same. 'I hate it when you lie to me... it's not weak to be sick or feeling off.' She commented as she poured the soup into the pot, before turning and eyeing Daryl.

He shrugged. 'Just dun' need ta worry ya, it's nothin'.'

Beth grimaced and took the pot to the fire. 'Well you sure are making a big deal out of nothing she decided.

Daryl watched her for a moment as she went about stirring the soup. He decided she was probably right, and if it was her; he'd want to know. It still didn't make him want to tell her, but he knew he probably should. He watched her cook the soup and separate it into two bowls, pass him one, before answering. 'Just my chest is tight.'

He saw the instant worry on her face as her eyes scanned him quickly. 'Just today?'

He took a spoonful of soup and shrugged, she refused to shift her gaze, so he looked into his bowl, knowing she wouldn't leave it alone, until she got an answer. 'Been a while, ain't nothing I can do though.'

Beth shifted, obviously looking worried now. 'A while?'

Daryl shrugged. 'Since the funeral house, or just after, round terminus.' He explained. 'Ain't nothing if it was gonna kill me I'd be dead by now.'

'Daryl?' She sounded a little too concerned.

He ignored her in favour of scoffing his soup, it was smooth and went down quickly. He spooned the last few drops out and looked back to Beth, she had hardly taken a spoon full. 'Eat up.' He advised, bumping her bowl for encouragement.

She did as she was told, knowing he'd get grumpy if she dwelled on it for too long. She took another two large spoonfuls before looking back to him, he was still watching her intently. She looked back to her bowl, not really wanting to eat now, but knew he'd make her, she took another gulp and felt him shift back in the seat, throwing his arm up along the couch behind her back. She took the last spoonful and lent forward placing her bowl in his before leaning back, and settling against his arm.

She wasn't sure what it meant, wondered if it was serious or not, but she knew he didn't want to talk about it, she would make him sometime soon, but for now she'd let it rest. His fingers crept across her arm to the base of her neck where they scratched slightly, the warm buzzing feeling that ran down her spine made her smile, she hadn't really felt that in a while, she'd been too sad really to consider it. But his soft eyes and gentle scratches felt welcoming again. She thought about saying something, doing something, but he folded her into his arms, pulling her against his chest, and she could feel his perfect heart strumming wildly against her ear, and it felt too good, too much like home for her to want to move.

'Don't you ever leave me Daryl.' It was a whisper, but as forceful as any words she had ever said, it defiantly sounded like a comand.

She felt him chuckle at that. 'No such plans luv.' He answered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. She attempted to squeeze him in reply, but he was pushing her back slightly, she wondered briefly why until she felt him bend his head and press his lips to her neck, slow long deliberate kisses trailed over her. Beth sighed at the feeling, leaning her head back to give him better access, she raked her fingers through the hair on the base of his neck, and felt him respond by pushing his hand under her shirt, up her back, squeezing gently. Beth groaned slightly and let her other hand reach to undo the buttons of his shirt, running her hand down his chest, across his heart, scratching at his ribs. Daryl let out a heavy groan and repositioned himself a little so he could move his kisses across her shoulders.

He trailed them downwards, causing Beth to arch into him, pressing her own lips the top of his head and gripping onto his hip. He pulled back, with that beautiful heavy lidded expression that she'd so missed these past few weeks. She waited for him to move forward again, but he seemed frozen so she leant forward to press her lips to his and felt him pull back slightly. He shook his head at her questioning look. 'S'ok, ya just drive me nuts when ya do that.' He admitted, with a shade of red colouring his face.

'Do what?' She asked, Daryl covered her hand with his and squeezed his hip again, 'Oh... do you want to?' She asked hesitantly, things didn't quiet seem back to normal, but it was close enough.

Daryl eyed her for a moment, before pushing his lips to hers for the first time since the encounter. 'Nah, I... just don't feel right.' He glanced down at himself, and felt her fingers scratch back over her heart. He grinned at the look of concern clear on her face. 'M' fine, just think I need to relax for a bit.'

Beth nodded. 'Ok.'

Daryl kissed her again before standing and re-buttoning his shirt. 'Might go have a smoke.'

Beth nodded, and stood to follow him outside. He pulled the lighter from his pocket and lit it, sucking in a deep breath with a contented sigh.

'I thought you gave up?' She questioned.

Daryl shrugged. 'Dun' matter now does it? 'less it really bothers you?'

Beth shook her head, he was right without Jakob around to suffer it didn't matter. She sat down by his feet in silence as he puffed through his first cigarette, and half of another before she spoke. 'Why do you even do it?'

'What?'

'Smoke' She clarified.

'Dunno.' He shifted his boot so that his leg rested more solidly against her back. 'Just started coz everyone else did it, thought I had ta copy Merle n' be cool.'

'When I tried it, it burnt, I can't imagine wanting to try it again.' She commented.

Daryl shrugged. 'Guess I grew up with the smell, first time I did it, I waisted three, didn't breathe it in right, then I spent another two coughin' my guts up, threw up even, then I just learnt to take smaller breaths, 'till I got used to it, no I dunno, it's just realaxn'... reminds me ta keep breathin'.' He explained.

Beth snorted at that. 'One day it's going to stop you from breathing.' She argued.

Daryl kicked his leg slightly, and she turned to slap it, catching the smirk on his face. He shrugged. 'Well if I ain't die by a walker, I'll die a happy man.'

Beth was about to slap him again, when he caught her arm and ripped her to her feet. She was considering arguing, saying that he was far too rough when she followed his eyes, she blinked, wiped at her eyes and squinted.

'Is that?' Daryl began, Beth was already nodding. 'I didn't know animals were affected, ain't seen that yet.' He commented, and although he sounded sad, there was a morbid curiosity.

Beth stepped forward a little. 'One-Eye?' She called.

The blood stained dog continued its slow march forward. Beth glanced up to Darryl and caught the pained squint on his face as he raised the crossbow. He took in a deep breath, as Beth startled him. 'Wait.'

Daryl grumbled something, and lowered his bow slightly. 'What?'

'It's just... remember the deer... the walkers killed that, not our arrows, and he didn't come back. And what you said, about Eugene... just, check him first?' Beth said.

Daryl gave her a half nod and took a few steps forward. 'Hey boy?' The dog picked up his head slightly, and stopped to sit, he panted roughly, before dropping down. Daryl stepped closer, his bow still trained on the dog, until he got sight of his eyes. The dog blinked slowly. 'Hey boy?' Darryl asked again, a little more hopeful this time. The dog grumbled again, and Daryl dropped his bow, bending to the dog. 'Hey?' He rested his hand on the dogs shoulder, and it flinched slightly, Daryl turned to Beth. 'Bring water.' He told her, she hurried to do so, as Daryl checked the dog.

'Here.' Beth handed him a bowl and bent to rub Slayers fur, as Daryl hoisted him into a sitting position.

'He's worn off his paw pads, must've been running for a while.' Daryl answered.

Beth sighed softly and bent to find a patch of fur on the dogs shoulder that wasn't stained with walker blood to kiss. She glanced up at Daryl, asking the silent question, was it possible that Jakob and Elizabeth were alive?

Daryl cleared his throat. 'He wouldn't have left the...'

Beth nodded. 'It's ok boy.' She answered, running her hand through his fur. 'Let's get you bathed and patched up huh?

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**A/N sorry I haven't replied to reviews, or your wonderfully one-shot Heather, I loved it! but I'll tell you how much later :D **


	71. Somethin' bout that lime underwear

A/N Hey guys enjoy.

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Daryl actually smiled with his heart if that was possible, and the sight of her calmed the dull throbbing within his chest, and it occurred to him that in his whole life he had never seen anything as beautiful as Beth Greene in that black dress. The way it hung exposing her shoulders and draping material in-between her breasts showing just enough of the flesh for him to realize that although he had seen it before, there was a dull excitement, and anticipation for what lie ahead.

She caught him ogling again and smiled widely. 'You smell like apricots Daryl.' She answered as he stepped out of the small bathroom and she passed him one of those champagne glasses reaching up to kiss his cheek as she did so.

'You like it?' He asked shaking his wet hair at her in the teasing way he had done so often before, she giggled slightly and pushed his head away softly.

'You know I do.' Was her honest reply, it wasn't just that delicious apricot shampoo that she loved, but she loved this, playing happy families on Fridays, even if it was without little Jakob now. That thought sent a pain to her heart that she quickly pushed away. She looked back to Daryl's goofy smile which was more just slightly quirked lips but she knew exactly what it meant.

He raised his eyes from her chest where he had momentarily been mesmerised by the water droplets that had come of his hair and spread over her, making it appear that she was made of glitter or something equally beautiful, he noticed she was blushing slightly, which aroused something deep within him every time she did that. His mind wandered back to the last time she was blushing which was right after he'd stopped kissing her and he looked at her seeing her scarlet cheeks and couldn't help but smile himself.

Beth turned and crossed back to the counter, which was an even more exquisite view he let his eyes graze down her exposed back and back up before scoffing at the lime bra strap, god she'd almost pulled of sophisticated, even with her high pony tail until he noticed that.

'What?' She eyed him with feigned annoyance.

He shrugged. 'Din' think ya meant to wear a bra with a dress like that.'

She squinted at him. 'You saying I should not wear it?' She admonished him.

That made him squirm a little, although it was a nice suggestion, they had all evening and no need to rush. She had leant forward now, reading that new book as she braced her elbows on the bench, and the sight of it made him just want to surge forward and rip that dress up over her hips and bury himself into her, 'Oh god.' He muttered as he realized there was one part of his body that apparently took that thought seriously, he shook his head and quickly crossed to the table, hoping to hide it, desperately trying not to appear like a hormonal teenager. He took a large gulp of the drink she had given him and his brow furrowed at the sweet taste.

'Something wrong?' She asked.

He shrugged. 'Jus' sweet is all...nice tho, what is it?'

'Lemon and lime bitters cordial mixed with lemonade, I love it.' She answered before going back to her book, which she was all too wrapped up in, he thought about asking her to read it out loud but then realized that wasn't going to help his situation much. He really had to think of something boring, oh yeah cards, cards was a good one.

He crossed and grabbed the packet of the coffee table before taking his seat again and fumbling for the opening, his hands hesitated, remembering the last time someone played with these cards was Jakob building that stupid mansion card house. His eyes rose to Beth who was looking at him now, with much of the same thoughts going by the look on her face. He placed the cards back down solemnly.

He shifted his gaze to Slayer who was relaxing on the small couch, the dog looked so peaceful, it made Daryl jealous that he could be like that despite everything, the dog didn't have a care in the world. Before too long he felt Beth's hand on his shoulder and looked u to see her warm smile. 'Canasta?'

He nodded and picked up the cards hesitantly shuffling them and dealing them seven each. Beth felt nervous about the whole thing, it wasn't just that this was the first time they'd used something that belonged to him, it was the way Daryl's fingers glided over the cards with such reverence, so different to his normal quick and deliberate actions.

Daryl caught her musings immediately. 'Beth...we don't get ta feel, remember.' He told her as she had said to him a million times, he only said it because he saw the slight tears welling in her eyes and couldn't bare to see that again, he really thought the whole not feeling thing was bullshit but for someone who felt far too much it was necessary for Beth.

She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat as she picked up her cards. It was the easiest game in the world which meant that neither of them had to think about it and they could converse easily about anything they wanted, other than Jakob.

It was easy being like this and to be honest, Daryl's favourite day of the week was Fridays when she did this, cooked, dressed up, played games like everything was normal, of course last week they just sat and drank, but this week had the same charm as every other Friday that they had the chance to do this, and that thought made Daryl smile a little.

'What?' Beth questioned.

'Nuttin'.' Daryl gestured to the cards as it was her turn.

Beth eyed him for a moment seeing the amusement on his face before she picked up the next card 'don't you nuttin' me Daryl Dixon.'

He raised his eyes to her, without betraying the way her saying his name like that made him feel, made him respond. He nodded slightly. 'You know by my calculations its Thursday today.'

She nodded as she placed her cards down waiting for him to make his move which would take forever as she could see him laying down his card, this was going to be a twenty minute thing as usual, she picked idly at her nails, removing a small amount of dirt from beneath them, looking at them with the pleasure of the absent, dirt, grime and blood usually there.

She looked up to him. 'Oh... Why didn't you say something?'

He immediately thought he shouldn't have said it, he didn't think about what it meant until it had come out already, he shrugged. 'Maybe I got it wrong.'

'Nah, I think I lost a couple more days than I thought.' She answered as she refilled their glassed and sat back down. Daryl was halfway through laying his seven sevens down when he noticed how the dress that had previously hung at her ankles now revealed her entire legs as she crossed them on the chair, and his breath hitched slightly as he caught site of her underwear, which made Beth look to him and then follow his eyes although he quickly tried to avoid them. 'Sorry' she muttered, it wasn't really nervous but embarrassed somehow, as she stuffed the dress into her lap effectively covering everything again and allowing only her knees to poke out.

'Ain't nuthin'.' Daryl grumbled before he noticed how red her cheeks were again, he shrugged as she squirmed obviously a little embarrassed, which seemed a bit stupid, but Beth was always at least a little shy. 'I shouldn'ta been looking anyway.'

She smiled lightly at that. 'Look all you like.

He looked up to her face and caught the tender look and it threw him of guard again, she was so beautiful and he couldn't figure out why he hadn't just bedded her months ago when she'd first offered, hell he should've done it when she first kissed him, he shook his head at that thought, but there she was staring at him, boring those eyes right through into his soul again and all he could think of is if he ever caught up with Merle on some other plain of existence like Beth always imagined, some twisted heaven or more likely hell, he'd flip him the bird straight up, because he was wrong, he remembers Merle saying it so calm like it was some fact of life, '_Ain't nobody gonna care about you like me little brother, ain't nobody gonna care about you._' - _Well that's fucked up Merle because here is a stunning woman, sitting here and looking at me like she cares about me more than anything in the world, and god it's the most amazing feeling in the world._

If just that look alone wasn't enough to really get him going he had to torture himself even further by dragging his eyes back down her, noticing her dress had moved again and nearly completely exposed one of those white thighs and all he could think of was him being there with them wrapped around his waist, how that would feel more exquisite than even the sight of her like this, which now that he was focused back on her face he realized that was pretty exquisite in itself.

She looked back up to him, she had been preoccupied with moving her cards around. 'Ya gonna make a move or what?'

Her words shocked him, sure she'd offered, been downright crude about it before, he just wasn't expecting it right this second, he coughed a little feeling his pants tighten as he thought about it. Beth smiled oddly, he looked so uncomfortable, god what did he think she meant? He'd been sorting his cards for near on ten minutes, she sighed softly and waited patiently.

'You mean it? He questioned and she looked up at him a little confused. 'You want me to make a move now?' Daryl looked at her feeling a little uncertain, but mostly waiting with anticipation. He looked back in her eyes and saw her nodding, it wasn't subtle it was a full force nod, and that was more than a green light, and he took one last look at her taking her in, this unspoiled innocent pure Beth, because he planned on changing all that and this was the last beautiful thing in the world, one final look before he ruined it. Tonight was perfect, they had time, they were alone with no chance of being interrupted, it was the best offer they'd had since they started this whole thing.

He reached for her chair, dragging it closer before leaning forward and claiming her lips as his own, he wasn't gentle about it, he didn't need to be this was far from their first kiss and he was hungry for that glorious taste of her, he pushed his tongue in and warred with hers. His hand slid up that exposed thigh and behind her back before pulling her gently forward, which she responded to quickly and a little clumsily, clambering onto his lap, his other hand went to her other thigh, pushing that material aside, he broke the kiss in time to look down and watch it fall gloriously of her leg, so only the smallest line of fabric rested across the top of her hips, bunched up and exposing most everything to him, a small smile played on his lips.

'What?' Beth asked self consciously.

'Lime.' He chuckled.

She shrugged. 'I wanted to feel like a rich bitch.' She grinned back before she began kissing him again. He wasn't waiting around for this, he wasn't going to draw it out, they'd been waiting for months and it was high time he just did it. He held onto her waist and stood dropping her legs and that glorious dress to hang as beautifully as it had earlier that night. He stared down at her, a little confused by the whole thing, how someone like her could really want him, he shook that thought away as she hooked her hand in his belt and started pulling him over to the bed. He knew he probably looked a little shocked at the bold action but when his eyes raised to his he was defenceless against her again, and couldn't waist a moment longer looking, he stepped forward and embraced her, kissing her, roaming his hands over her bared back, over her shoulders, up her neck, stroking her cheek softly and pulling her into him harder witch elicited a little groan from her as she felt his hardened length pressing into her stomach. He smiled at her before kissing her neck, his hand skimming lightly from her face back to her waist, brushing attentively over her breast on its way, which had her arching into him, feeling the loss of something that was only there for a second, she whimpered a little as his hand wrapped around her waist and dropped to her bottom pulling her against him tighter and grinding himself into her a tiny bit, he lifted his head and untangled the hand that had been in her hair to pull her neck back slightly before looking deep in her eyes.

She examined his face, and it was filled with so many emotions, she moved her hands from being wrapped around him up to his neck and gave him her best, '_Go ahead, say it but don't hurt me,'_ look.

His eyes were dark and his neck was flushed red and he was breathing like a warhorse and that was probably the most attractive thing she'd seen in her life, she smiled up at him, reaching to kiss him again before he pulled back slightly and spoke. 'Beth you sure you want this...want me?' She nodded wondering if there was a way to make it any clearer than she had over the past few months, frankly she was annoyed that he even asked. 'You sure...?' She nodded again. 'Coz there ain't no off switch after we start this.' he warned, and she wondered whether he just meant the sex or the life afterwards, wither didn't matter because she wanted both. 'If things changed at all?'

Now she understood the need for the question, since losing Jakob, things had been different, but she was still surprised by how h had interpreted it. 'There better not be.' She answered. His brow furrowed slightly witch made her smile and she rolled her eyes at the confusion on his face. 'Damn it Daryl, how thick are you? If you flick the off switch again, tonight or ever, I swear I'm gonna blow it up and shoot you with your own god damn bow Ok.'

He looked surprised at her, and then felt a little sad realizing that all this waiting and saying no really had not been to her benefit, it was just him getting his head around it and that was cruel, he wanted to find a way to apologize but couldn't find the words, he closed his eyes and bent his head trying to think of what to say, when he was suddenly spun of his feet and knocked roughly to the bed.

He looked up at her wide eyed and returned her smile, which was slowly turning from excitable to devilish, that concerned him, what did she have planned? He could only imagine, She reached up to her shoulders and pulled the dress of leaving her standing there in front of him with that ridiculous lime underwear.

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A/N hope you enjoyed, lucky I had most of this written up, I spent six hours in hospital today but meh, still got this posted. Please review.


	72. Not somethin' like peach schnapps

**A/N Hey guys, apologies in advance because I've split these chapter into about three chapters, mostly because it was like 8000 words long, and also because I've been unwell, it gives me a bit of time to catch up. I've tried to split it in good sections, but the last sentence is in italics at the start of the chapter so it's easy to follow. Enjoy.**

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_She reached up to her shoulders and pulled the dress of leaving her standing there in front of him with that ridiculous lime underwear. _

Her smile changed again into a sheepish one, and it crossed his mind that she has more smiles than anyone that he knew. She nudged his knees apart with her own and stepped in-between his legs resting her hands on his shoulders and looking down at him as he leant forward, wrapping his arms around her hips and placed a kiss that was all to gentle and tender for Daryl on her stomach. She was almost confused by it, almost scared that he was going to flick that off switch again, and then as his head bowed, still resting against her stomach but facing the floor her heart, which had previously been high as a kite sunk because she thought he was going to stop, but then the softest voice came from him, and his words hit her like a thousand knives, because she realized as he spoke them that this was probably the real problem all along, all those months of trying to convince him, this was probably what held him back, and even after he made up his mind, it must've still hung around somewhere in his mind. And it hurt her so badly that he could feel this way.

'I ain't no peach schnapps am I?

'What...Daryl?' She hooked her finger under his chin and pulled it up to look at her because she had to make him understand. 'You ain't no peach schnapps, you're defiantly moonshine.' He looked as if he didn't really believe her so she continued. 'You ain't the last thing left Daryl, maybe one day you'll be the last man standing, but not today, I ain't taking you coz there's no one else, bitter and hard to swallow and all, you're real, and if I had a whole grog shop to choose from, I'd walk right out and go looking for you, I swear.'

Daryl nodded and went back to kissing her stomach with delicious hot open-mouthed kisses, they were reassuring but too slow, so Beth reached down and pulled his shirt from his back, he lifted his arms and let her pull the sleeveless tattered shirt up.

And finally he looked like he got it, an understanding spread across his features, infecting them with a smile that Beth had never seen Daryl pull. 'Give you moonshine.. get here.' He grumbled as he pulled her thighs onto his lap and flipped them pressing hard against her, and Beth knew it, it was all gone, everything, but the two of them, there was nothing between them, except a few annoying pieces of clothing, but she'd soon fix that.

'I'm not peach schnapps am I?' She asked, it was supposed to be teasing, but the slight concern that it was a slight possibility leaked through her voice as she reached to fiddle with his belt. Really neither of them should have to ask, but the past few weeks of grief had thrown them, and neither of them could hardly recognize their own feelings, let alone each others.

He looked up from where he had been buried in her neck and shook his head. 'I don't drink peach schnapps, rather have nothin'.' He stated before crushing his lips to hers and invading her mouth with his tongue. Beth moaned into the kiss, momentarily forgetting that she was trying to get his pants undone as he pressed hard into her, the sensation was amazing, having him so heavy against her, everywhere, she was literally trapped under the weight of him, unable to do much really, but it was marvellous, she groaned a little as she tried to pull her hands free from where they were crushed between his stomach and her hips, which had him tearing his lips from hers with a concerned look. 'You ok?'

She nodded. 'Just, can't move my hands.' He immediately shifted his weight and let her free her hands witch snaked around him onto his back.

'Oops...pretty keen.' He explained before adding. 'Didn't hurt you did I?'

Beth shook her head and smiled. 'Didn't say I wanted you to stop either.' She answered as she pulled him back down to her and kissed him almost as ferociously as he had been, but there was a change in him, a shift in how he was doing this now, his lips were still crushing hers, and his tongue still darting in and pressing against her own but it was somehow gentler now, she moved her legs which had been previously been trapped and spread them both around his hips, which he apparently appreciated as he groaned in appreciation as he trailed kissed down her jaw , Beth was overrun with pleasure, which she knew was ridiculous because he hadn't done much more than kiss her but still she wondered if anything could feel better than this moment.

She bucked her hips up to him, wanting pressure there, and he obliged willingly settling his groin against her firmly, however that wasn't enough she decided after the initial moment of relief, she was throbbing, and his kisses were feathery light now witch wasn't enough so she ground her hips against his, hoping it would give him the hint that she wanted more, but he ignored her, so she did it again, and again until she had begun a slow tentative rhythm, which apparently he liked as he claimed her lips harshly again, Beth moaned into his mouth as he lifted his knee a little, giving her a better angle to grind against, and then suddenly he rolled of her, and she was left cold, and the panic that he might be stopping this again set in, she looked over to him, and he was panting heavily, but then his hand reached for hers and he spoke. 'How many times I gotta tell ya, can't do that Beth...' He saw the slightly annoyed look on her face and continued. 'Ain't as young as you, probably only get one shot at it, ain't gonna last long if a keep that up, ya know what happened last time in the car.'

Beth actually laughed, she couldn't help it, she felt so giddy at his admission, she rolled her whole body to his, and rubbed her spare hand across his chest. 'Who said I want this to go on for ages?' She answered which gave him a curious look. 'Just sayin'.' She shrugged. 'I've been waiting long enough don't you think?' She looked down his body and back up again. 'Just want to do it.'

He smiled at her, god she was amazing, any man would chop of his left nut to have someone as beautiful as her leaning over them almost naked, telling them to just hurry up and get in her, and he thought about it, just ripping his jeans of and her panties and sinking into her without another thought, but no, he wanted this to be more special than a quick fuck with some old redneck. 'Nah Beth, gotta take it slow...want ya first time to be special.'

She smiled as she sat up on her elbow and leaned over giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead. 'Last time ya said that, you took so long, we got interrupted.' She complained.

Daryl shrugged. 'Yeah well no one out here this time. Just let me make it a bit more special ok.'

Beth laughed at that. 'Course it's special... I'm with you.'

He didn't answer, he couldn't, god something that simple just about made him cream himself right there, he shook that thought away and tried to sit up a little against the pillows, obviously it had been far too long, how long had it been since the turn? Plus he'd been on a dry spell before that, god this was harder than he thought, it's not like he'd even had the chance to take care of himself, not really, besides that first night that he'd had to in the cabin, and the less than satisfactory evening in the car, it's just not the thing you can do in a zombie apocalypse. There was one night back at the prison, he was on the guard tower, watchin' Beth walk around with baby Judith, the sound of her singing drifting up to his ears, he remembers lulling his head back and letting his body do what it wanted, but then he heard footsteps up the ladder and that put a screeching halt to that, so yeah what four and a half years and pretty much nothing, then there had been the last few months, that had been worse, with constant want and no real release, and god knows how many almost cases of blue balls he'd had, this whole thing was really beyond a joke.

Hell, no wonder he felt like a teenage boy again, maybe he could manage a couple times tonight, if she was cool with it, which apparently she was keen, he noticed as she was climbing on his lap and pushing her lips against his softly, which was amazing, he was content to do this forever, he wasn't really a kisser, but with Beth he could, her lips were soft and sweet and then she darted her tongue out and ran it against his lip, as he'd done to her many times and he opened his mouth to her. She pulled back after a moment and scratched her chin while she wrinkled her nose.

'Ya k?

'Yeah.' She smiled as she tugged on the few hairs on his chin. 'You're just itchy sometimes.'

He dropped his eyes, yeah he wasn't that well kept, not like her, he shifted a bit, he should probably take it off, make him look a bit younger, not like he can grow the damn thing anyway, just never seemed to have time, but hey if she didn't like it he could make time. 'Want me to shave it off?'

'You ain't going anywhere just yet.' She answered quickly.

'Not now... if ya don't like it?'

Beth shrugged. 'No I like it, I like everything bout you...' She smiled before she pushed her lips back to his, he smiled into it letting her set the pace this time, he was happy just running his hands up and down her spine, enjoying the softness of her body against his. Beth had let go of his neck now and was moving her hands down his torso to his jeans, where she tugged the button undone, he knew the second she got her hands in there it was probably game over, so he grabbed her wrists softly.

'Beth I wanna do this right... slow, don't wanna rush it k, just slow down.' Beth nodded because she had actually changed her mind from a few minutes ago and decided she did too.

'Yeah I know... but I got hardly nothing on and you're still, you know.' She pulled at his pants a little.

He rolled his eyes. 'Don't tell me your a bit self conscious.' She smiled coyly and he realized she was a little, he was going to tell her how beautiful she was, how she didn't have a thing to worry about, but he figured that would lead into him thinking about how perfect she was in great detail witch probably was not a good thing seeing as he was starting to get himself under control again so he just sighed. 'E'magine how I feel.' She furrowed her brow again witch made him laugh. 'Well I ain't pretty like you, I'm all old and grouse and scarred up...' Which was pretty much what he thought when he looked in mirrors lately, he'd noticed grey in his beard and lines on his face, to be honest he was a little concerned that she was blind because making out with his face was a joke he thought.

She shook her head, she wasn't going to disagree with him, she knew his face wasn't perfect, she saw the lines they grey hair, the bags under his eyes that had been busted so many times that they were permanently swollen, but his body was pretty awesome, and his heart was too, which was all she really cared about anyway. 'Well my moonshine...' She linked her arms around his neck lazily. 'You know daddy always told me bad moonshine makes you blind.'

He screwed up his face as he lifted his hips, she was damn determined to get those pants off. He let out a groan as the pressure on his cock was released with the loss of his pants, he briefly thought about getting rid of his boxers straight up but decided against it. '...Wat'da'ya mean?'

She smiled as she settled herself back onto his lap. 'Well you're the baddest of them all.'

He rolled his eyes again. 'Ya ain't gonna be callin' me moonshine ya hear, ain't gonna be havin' pet names and shit.'

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**A/N Hope you're enjoying it. huge thank you, we're now over 600 reviews! Please continue, it so makes it worth it!**


	73. Somethin' feels good

_He rolled his eyes again. 'Ya ain't gonna be callin' me moonshine ya hear, ain't gonna be havin' pet names and shit.'_

She kissed him. 'Yes moonshine.' He really wanted to protest but he currently had her lips on his mouth witch made talking difficult and she was grinding on him again witch made his brain unfunctionable. She'd lifted herself higher now, he didn't know if he might have done it on second thoughts, either way her breasts were at his face level so he could kiss around them easily now, and the way she was panting had him hard again, not that it had really gone down, but it was getting manageable until now. It was probably time to get a hurry on he thought, before he really did have a repeat incident of the car. So he let one hand continue to support her back as the tother ran a line down her spine, over her perfect ass, which he stopped to squeeze for a moment which had her unsure of witch way to press, thankfully she went backwards into his touch which gave him a moment to slip his hand around and brace her lower stomach so she couldn't come back forward and continue her ministrations on him. He stopped kissing her now, mostly because he wanted to gauge her face when he did it, she looked down to him, letting her hands fall from his hair to his shoulders where she held on tightly, he let his hand run lower, keeping it on the outside of her panties, which were ridiculously wet, that made him smirk. And he allowed his thumb to press softly at her clit, which had her jumping but immediately pushing down again with a moan, he smiled widely as he rubbed it in a small circle, and her body collapsed down onto him, her face buried in the crook of his neck with a throaty. 'Oh Daryl!' For a moment he thought she'd come undone already, but then he realized she just wasn't used to being touched like this, which made him groan. He brought his other hand down from her back and went to slip it into the back of her panties when he felt a hand on his wrist, gently and shaking a little bit, it was enough for him to pull both hands away immediately and rest them on her hips instead

'You 'k Beth, you wanna stop?' He asked, his voice reeking of concern and something that sounded very much like love to Beth.

She nodded. 'Yeah just...'

At first he was a little surprised, but then his brain caught up, sure they'd done allot together, but something about this felt so different. 'Just ain't done it 'fore... we can wait.' He offered.

'No off switch remember.' She answered while looking down shyly.

He shrugged. 'Don't mean it, ya say no, it means no, na'matta what... anytime.' Although he'd panic if she really did decide to say no.

'It's not that Daryl.' She answered bringing her hands up to his neck again and then leaning in to talk softly in his ear as if it were some guarded secret. 'I'm just shy...I don't know why, I haven't been before but... you should go first.'

He snorted a little before whispering back into her ear. 'Ain't seem shy 'fore, when ya droppn' that dress off.' He added a little nip on her earlobe when he finished.

She leaned back a little. 'You've done this before, you know, been naked in front of people, I haven't...you go first.'

'Are you forgetting that night in the van?' He teased, but her blush softened him a little. Daryl actually thought about that, no he'd never been naked in front of someone ever, all the chicks he'd ever had sex with were quick bend 'em over the counter, or car bonnet or on the table, he'd never let a girl take his shirt of and explore his chest like he let Beth, never let some chick sit on his lap and undo his belt while she tongue fucked his mouth, never let her run her hands up and down his back feeling his scars like he let Beth, but what the hell, if she was shy, he could suck it up and go first. 'I ain't.' He mumbled, 'Just with you, that once.'

But then he leaned back a little and didn't protest when she hooked her fingers in his boxer band at his hips, she looked up at him and he lifted his hips obligingly as she started to slide the material down, she looked down, feeling the blush redden her cheeks, and the fact that Daryl was looking so deeply into her made her embarrassed, but she wanted this, she watched carefully as the material came down, freeing his penis witch flicked up and slapped on his navel as the material caught down on it, Beth couldn't help but let out a little giggle at that, which made Darryl internally flinch and cover himself with one his hands as she finished dragging the boxers of his legs and returned to straddling his thighs, she still had a hint of humour on her face as she tried to pull his hand of it gently, but when she was met with a little resistance she looked up at him and he was scowling.

'Did I do something wrong?' She asked feeling suddenly worried.

He just continued to stare at her for a moment before asking. 'Watcha laughing at?'

Witch just made her smile a little wider. 'Oh c'mon Daryl.' She bit her lip a little witch relaxed him seeing her nervous too, she reached down and batted his hands out the way and with two fingers pulled his cock towards her a little before letting it go and watching it smack against his stomach a bit with an amused grin. 'It's funny... I didn't see it last time.' His eyes returned to hers and the frown softened a little as he saw the amusement playing at her eyes 'Ain't never seen one before.' She added, reminding him that this was all new to her.

He let out a deep breath, relieved that she wasn't picking on anything like size or shape or nothing. 'Never?'

She eyed him. 'You know I ain't done this.'

'Just thought you might 'av, dunno seen pictures or...?' He suggested.

Beth shook her head. 'Nope, never seen a naked man, 'Xept I walked in on Shawn having a shower once but I didn't see anything.'

'Huh..' He rubbed his hands up her thighs and up her back drawing her in for another kiss, which she responded to but then seemed to get the giggles again. 'What?' He asked, slightly amused himself now.

She was going to tell him that it just felt weird, his member pushing against her stomach when she leaned in leaving little wet trails over her, that suddenly felt ticklish, but she thought he'd just think she was being a stupid kid. 'Nothin'.' She answered as she leaned in to kiss him again, this time stifling her laugh but it still bubbled in her chest and he clearly felt it.

'You feelin' all shaky and E'sitable?' He questioned understandingably.

'I know it's stupid.' She was grinning widely but couldn't seem to stop it.

'S'not stupid... Me too.' He answered as he kissed her temple. 'Sides, it's kinda cute.' _another kiss on her forehead_ 'Ain't never had a girl so,' _a kiss on her nose_ 'Gooey over me 'fore,' _on her cheek_ 'Real sweet,' _on her other cheek_ 'Kinda like it.' _on her chin_. 'You can be giggly if ya wanna be.' He said before finally kissing her mouth softly. 'Be anything ya wanna be.' His mouth went to her neck where he decided to give her a hickey, gently biting and licking and sucking, which felt amazing and made her forget about her giggles until she arched into him and felt him bumping at her stomach again, at least she held it in this time, her hand went to the back of Daryl's neck where she held him there making sure he wasn't going to stop that amazing assault on her throat while her other hand drifted down to the thing that was pushing into her stomach, she ran her hand over it and Darryl gasped and pulled back, which made her retract her hand immediately.

'Sorry.' She answered shyly, whipping her hand back to his shoulder.

'Don't be Beth...feels good.' He held her gaze for a while and she looked too nervous to move. 'You got me Beth, all of me, you wanna touch, go for it.' By this point he was feeling like practically begging her but she was all red and chewing on her lip and he knew she was just a little too embarrassed.

God this is worse than his first time, in the back of Merles ute with that Stacy chick who decided to give him head, god he was no nervous and scared and all he wanted was to touch unhindered but she was more interested in getting what she wanted witch just left him five times more nervous, he smiled, guess that's how Beth was feeling. He grunted.

'Darryl I'm sorry, just I don't know what I'm meant to do.' She sighed a little. 'What I'm s'posed to touch...or how, maybe you should, just you know, do it and maybe then I'll have a better idea next time.' She answered.

He ignored her request and flopped backwards into the pillows, which left him somewhere between laying and sitting, but there was allot more space between them. 'Nah Beth, gah'ead, do whatever you want to, have fun.' He smiled at her, feeling odd about just offering her free range of his body.

She was still biting her lip. 'I...how am I meant to know what feels good?'

He shrugged. 'S'you Beth, it all feels good, go on, I'll let yah know.'

Beth felt the blush in her cheeks rising again and she felt so stupid. 'I feel dumb, I'm happy to just let you do it.' She answered, which annoyed him minimally, because he wanted to know that she really wanted this, didn't want her just going along for the ride just because she'd never tried it before, besides he wasn't expecting himself to be anything fantastic, so her input was defiantly going to be needed..


	74. APPOLOGIES

**A/N Enjoy**

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He ran his hands up her thighs and back down again, 'Go ahead Beth, do whatever, I'm pretty happy with anything...want ya to.' He answered before leaning back quiet obviously getting comfortable and closing his eyes. Beth sat there for a minute straddling his thighs and wondering what to do first, she smiled, it was pretty good to have the chance to examine him unhindered but it also made her incredibly nervous, she sighed. She knew his lips, that she had previously discovered as comfortable and safe, so shed start there, she climbed up over him so she was more on his torso and leaned forward kissing him softly. He opened his eyes and smiled before closing them again, Beth's fingers traced those invisible smile lines and then his eyebrows, which were light but thick, then she ran her thumbs across his eyelids witch both received a kiss to, and then her fingers traced out his jaw line, before slipping back to his ears where she playfully poked her finger into receiving a flick of the head and a snort from him. She kissed the cheek by that ear as a sort of apology and smiled. 'You ticklish there?'

He just grunted back, and she felt his hands squeeze on her thigh a little, she kissed him again before moving down, running her fingers down the muscle in his neck, she saw him swallowing and that lump in his throat bobbing up and down, and she decided to put a open kiss on it, witch elicited a moan from Daryl, she smiled devilishly and did it again, this time sucking a little harder and receiving another moan, she'd remember that for another time, she ran her hands down to his collar bones which she traced lightly to the edge, where she spread her palms over his shoulders and ran her hands down the thick muscle of his arms, and then down to his wrists where she tangled her fingers into his receiving a slight squeeze, she looked up to his face, and his eyes were still closed but he was biting his lip softly, she stretched his arms above his head and slowly ran her hands along the underside of them, watching as they went to rest behind his head, she kissed that spot on his neck again which earned a slight moan, not as loud as it had been before, maybe he was expecting it this time, her hands traced down his ribs till they met her own knees, where she braced herself wiggling back down to his thighs, carefully, although she felt herself bump against him more than once, and when she looked up, his mouth was open and his breathing was faster witch made her smile.

He wanted her to stop, this... _worshiping_, he was meant to be doing this to her not her to him, but he'd never had anyone touch him like this, with this sort of reverence, and truth was he liked it, he was powerless to stop her, it was amazing, he simply sighed and forced his brain to turn off, he'd enjoy this for now and when it was her turn he'd make sure she felt just as worshiped.

She bent back down and kissed from his chest to his belly button, her hand had traced the line before her mouth and he had bucked when she dipped her finger into his navel so she let her tongue follow, which elicited a buck against her throat and a small grunt, her fingers were at his hips now, scratching lightly, remembering how he'd just told her the other day that that drove him wild.

She moved lower again, pausing to look up at him feeling shy and coy again, she skipped over it for a second, and rubbed her small hands over his thighs, marvelling at the thick muscles, and she felt so small, her thighs looked ridiculous against his, pale and thin, she almost looked breakable. She shook that from her mind and looked back up to him, he was holding his breath now and she smiled as she let her fingers trace the lines of his hips to his throbbing member, she ran a single finger up the veins and he let out a strangled sound and squeezed his eyes closed, she smiled and looked back down, picking it up gently, as if it were porcelain, she wrapped her fingers around the head of it and stroked downwards, which got a loud moan from Daryl and she felt his whole body shifter under her, she repeated the action and smiled as his leg bucked her, another similar stroke and her head shot up to him.

'Fuck Beth...' It was only a whisper, but his eyes were still shut and one hand had moved to rub the hair on his chin and she took that as an encouraging sign, she did it again and this time, brought her thumb up to run along the slit that was leaking. Daryl actually whimpered at that, which was such a foreign sound to both of them, she liked it, she readjusted herself on his legs, feeling a throbbing between her own legs, she let her hand down again and back up, this time, rubbing her palm over the head which earned her a huge buck that all most threw her of. She looked up to him, and nothing had changed except his hand had dropped to his neck and he was panting pretty hard, she left that for a moment and ran her finger down the little line on his balls before cupping them and giving them a gentle experimental squeeze, they pulled themself up against him, and she returned to her destination. 'Beth, ah gotta stop.' She looked up and saw his eyes boring into her and somehow she didn't feel embarrassed anymore.

She smiled. 'What, this?' She ran her finger up his shaft and grabbed it again, giving it a few more pumps, a little faster this time, his eyes were heavy lidded, as he raised his hips to meet her.

'M-hm.' Was all he could manage as his hands fisted into the blankets beside him, Beth smiled and decided to take it easy on him, she lent up to kiss him deeply again, and somehow found herself rocking her own throbbing need on his, she bent back to suck on his throat again, and his hands came up to her waist as a pathetic attempt to still her hips. 'I ain't kidd...' He was cut off by a long moan and she wondered if he was ok as his body shook, but then she felt the warm liquid smushing between their tummies, she pulled herself away a little to have a look, but his hands were gripping her thighs pulling her to him as he continued a slow rock against her, his breath was coming out in deep shaky puffs and she couldn't help her sheepish smile as he slowly calmed his body. He attemted to lift his head, but gave up and let it drop back to the pillow. 'Well that's that done.' He frowned at her, but she could see he wasn't really annoyed, perhaps a little embarrassed but not at all displeased.

She smiled apologetically. 'Sorry Daryl, I was 'bout to stop, just, felt good.' She admitted which received a grin from him, she sat up a little as he pushed her shoulder back with his hand, grabbing at the sheet and wiping her belly clean, he groaned a little and he felt himself hardening at that gentle action, he cleared his throat before he cleaned his own. 'S'fine beth,' neither of them favoured moving so they just sat lazily kissing, Daryl was blown away by how much he enjoyed this and he made a mental note to cross it of her list later, this was defiantly more than sex, this defiantly counted as making love, even if it was one sided so far, he moved his hand down to slip under her panties and ran his hand over her ass, he couldn't help smiling into her lips as he thought about flipping her over and treating her in exactly the same way.

He was just about to do just that, give himself time to recover while he worshiped her until suddenly she pull back.

Beth realized as she ran her hand over his back that she missed something, missed something that she had for so long wanted to ask about, to kiss away the pain but had not been allowed.

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**A/N Hey guys, I'm going to have to take a few days off writing, I've run out of prewritten chapters and as you all know I've been really sick. Thanks for all the kind wishes that have been sent to me already. Don't worry I'm probably not dying lol, its just a flu, not any flu, think walking dead season 4, kind of flu lol, been coughing up blood and two emergency trips to the hospital, for a drip and breathy thing lol so yeah I need to just get better, sorry to be so annoying. Please keep an eye out for this story, ill post as soon as I can. :D**


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